英语小笑话

英语小笑话

1.Two Pieces of Cake

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

2.It's not my fault

Mother reprimanding her small daughter: You mustn't pull the cat's tail. Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

reprimanding训斥，谴责

3.Where's the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

4.Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

5.A Girl's Wish

On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

6.I Taught the Teacher

Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today? Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

7.Its part of the game

Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.

Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.

8.I want a nightmare

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

9.A Small Boy and a Donkey

A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad（少年，小伙子） . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.

So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.

10。Big hands

Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands.

11.Which Month Did He Go Away

When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?

12.Who is Stupid