感动人心的TED英语演讲稿:二十岁,这些话对你很重要

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TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)说课讲解

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)说课讲解

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. Iwasa Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchytop, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off herflats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now whenI heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for herfirst client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted totalk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和阻抑上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn“t handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring tosession, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked thecan down the road.但是我没有搞定。

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)之欧阳育创编

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)之欧阳育创编

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a P h.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a26yearold woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex 的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big sl ouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kic ked off herflats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. No w when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arso nist for herfirst client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted totalk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would brin g tosession, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

2021年TED英语演讲稿 二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)

2021年TED英语演讲稿 二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)

TED英语演讲稿二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client. i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old wo ___n named alex. now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my offi ___ and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my class ___te got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this i thought i could handle.but i didn't handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. "thirty's the new 20," alex would say, and as far as i could ___, she was right. work happened later, ___rriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back.i said, "sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to ___rry the guy."and then my supervisor said, "not yet, but she might___rry the next one. besides, the best time to work onalex's ___rriage is before she has one."that's what psychologists call an "aha!" moment. that was the moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20. yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't ___ke alex's 20s a developmental downtime. that ___de alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequen ___s, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now. we're talking about 15 per ___nt of thepopulation, or 100 per ___nt if you consider that no one's getting through ___hood without going through their 20s first.raise your hand if you're in your 20s. i really want to see some twentysomethings here. oh, yay! y'all's awesome. if you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see — okay. awesome, twentysomethings really___tter.so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believethat every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the ___st, yet most transfor___tive, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, ___ybe even for the world.this is not my opinion. these are the facts. we know that 80 per ___nt of life's most defining moments take pla ___ by age 35. that means that eight out of 10 of the decisionsand experien ___s and "aha!" moments that ___ke your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, don't panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are ___rried or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for ___hood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that fe ___le fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.so when we think about child development, we all knowthat the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. it's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will bee. but what we hear less about is that there'ssuch a thing as ___ development, and our 20s are that critical period of ___ development.but this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of ___hood. researchers call the 20s an extended adoles ___n ___. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults." it's true. as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of___hood.leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. isn't that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "you have 10 extra years to start your life"? nothing happens. you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.and then every day, s ___rt, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters e into my offi ___ and say things like this: "i know my boyfriend's no goodfor me, but this relationship doesn't count. i'm justkilling time." or they say, "everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time i'm 30, i'll be fine."but then it starts to sound like this: "my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better résumé the day after i graduated from college."and then it starts to sound like this: "dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. ididn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i ___rried my hu ___and because he was the closest chair to me at 30."where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.okay, now that sounds a little flip, but ___ke no mistake, the stakes are very high. when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period oftime. ___ny of these things are inpatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at on ___ in our 30s.the post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car. it's realizing you can't have that career you now want. it's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling. too ___ny thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their20s, "what was i doing? what was i thinking?"i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.here's a story about how that can go. it's a story about a wo ___n named em ___. at 25, em ___ came to my offi ___ because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. she said she thought she might like to work in art or entertai ___ent, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead. because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed histemper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."well one day, em ___ es in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. she'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her ___ny contacts, but then she'd been left staring atthat empty blank that es after the words "in case of emergency, please call ... ." she was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "who's going to be therefor me if i get in a car wreck? who's going to take care of me if i have can ___r?"now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, "i will." but what em ___ needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared. em ___ needed a better life, and i knew this was her chan ___. i had learned too much sin ___ i first worked with alex to just sit there while em ___'s defining decade went parading by.so over the next weeks and months, i told em ___ three things that every twentysomething, ___le or fe ___le, deserves to hear.first, i told em ___ to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. i didn't know the future of em ___'s career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. i'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. that's procrastination. i told em ___ to explore work and ___ke it count.second, i told em ___ that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, howthey speak, and where they work. that new pie ___ of capital, that new person to date almost always es from outside the inner circle. new things e from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. buthalf aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job. it's not cheating. it's the scien ___ of how infor___tion spreads.last but not least, em ___ believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon em ___ would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. i told em ___ the time to start picking your family is now. now you ___y be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoeveryou're living with or sleeping with when everyone on fa___book starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your ___rriage is before you have one,and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just ___ it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.so what happened to em ___? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old room ___te's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. that weak tie helped her get a job there. that job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums. she's___rried to a ___n she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."now em ___'s story ___de that sound easy, but that's what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the differen ___ between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to e.so here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. it's as ___ as what i learned to say to alex. it's what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like em ___ every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your ___hood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. you're deciding your life right now. thank you. (applause)记得见我第一位心理 ___顾客时,我才20多岁。

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 【1】26yearold woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto th e couch in my office and kicked off herflats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieve d. My classmate got an arsonist for herfirst client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted totalk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring tosession, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

TED演讲:二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴

TED演讲:二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴

TED演讲:二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴下面我给大家共享TED演讲:二十岁是不行以挥霍的光阴,欢迎阅读:TED演讲:二十岁是不行以挥霍的光阴5天内超过60万次阅读量的最新TED演讲“二十岁一去不再来”激起了世界各地的热情探讨,资深心理治疗师 Meg Jay共享给20多岁青年人的人生建议:(1)不要为你原委是谁而苦恼,去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

(2)不要把自己封锁在小圈子里。

(3)记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

Meg说:“第一,我常告知二十多岁的男孩女孩,不要为你原委是谁而苦恼,起先思索你可以是谁,并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

现在就是最好的尝试时机,不管是海外实习,还是创业,或者做公益。

其次,年轻人常常聚在一起,感情好到可以穿一条裤子。

可是社会中很多机会是从远关系起先的,不要把自己封锁在小圈子里,走出去你才会对自己的经验有更多的相识。

第三,记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

你的婚姻就是将来几十年的家庭,就算你要到三十岁结婚,现在选择和什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。

简而言之,二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美妙时间。

”这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了很多TED粉丝的探讨,来自TEDx组织团队的David Webber就说:Meg指出最重要的一点便是青年人须要及早意识到积累阅历和眼界,无论是20岁还是30岁,都是有利自己发展的重要事。

”以下是Meg的演讲:TED演讲:二十岁是不行以挥霍的光阴以下是Meg的演讲内容:When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理询问顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

最新-TED英语演讲稿二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴 精品

最新-TED英语演讲稿二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴 精品

TED英语演讲稿:二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴5天内超过60万次浏览量的最新演讲二十岁一去不再来激起了世界各地的热烈讨论,资深心理治疗师分享给20多岁青年人的人生建议1不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼,去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

2不要把自己封锁在小圈子里。

3记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

说第一,我常告诉二十多岁的男孩女孩,不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼,开始思考你可以是谁,并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。

现在就是最好的尝试时机,不管是海外实习,还是创业,或者做公益。

第二,年轻人经常聚在一起,感情好到可以穿一条裤子。

可是社会中许多机会是从远关系开始的,不要把自己封锁在小圈子里,走出去你才会对自己的经历有更多的认识。

第三,记住你可以选择自己的家庭。

你的婚姻就是未来几十年的家庭,就算你要到三十岁结婚,现在选择和什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。

简而言之,二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美好时光。

这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了许多粉丝的讨论,来自组织团队的就说指出最重要的一点便是青年人需要及早意识到积累经验和眼界,无论是20岁还是30岁,都是有利自己发展的重要事。

20,26--记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫的女性,26岁。

,,第一次见面穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

,但是我没有搞定。

不断地讲有趣的事情,而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的,很自然地就陷入了附和的状态。

"20,",,,,,说30岁是一个新的20岁。

没错,我告诉她你是对的。

工作还早,结婚还早,生孩子还早,甚至死亡也早着呢。

像和我这样20多岁的人,什么都没有但时间多的是。

,,",,,",",,"但不久之后,我的导师就要我向的感情生活施压。

Ted演讲:二十几岁是不可挥霍的光阴全文

Ted演讲:二十几岁是不可挥霍的光阴全文

Ted演讲:二十几岁是不可挥霍的光阴全文20岁,不可挥霍的光阴。

在这个点击过百万的TED演讲中,心理咨询师Meg Jay说不能因为婚姻、工作和子女是以后的事情,现在就可以无规划的生活。

她提供三条建议帮助20多岁的年轻人重新审视自己的生活,不要做后悔的决定。

为什么要听她演讲近期观点认为,25岁似乎太过年轻,无法做重大决定。

临床心理学家Meg Jay藉由心理学实务和著作《20世代,你的人生是不是卡住了》阐述,许多二十世代深陷《时代》杂志所谓「我我我世代」的迷思和误导中。

她认为「三十世代是新二十世代」的说法使人们轻忽成年阶段最具可塑性的时光。

撷取十余年来与数百名二十世代个案及学生咨商的经验,Jay将科学融入一段段引人入胜、不为人知的故事中。

精彩、生动的故事发展,显示为何二十世代并非发展停滞期,而是仅此一次的发展高峰。

二十世代是个关键期,我们所做之事-及未做之事-对未来人生、甚至后代都将产生巨大影响。

Meg Jay:二十几岁,不可挥霍的光阴When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex. Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. "Thirty's the new 20," Alex wouldsay, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back.I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one."That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime. That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.Raise your hand if you're in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! Y'all's awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see — Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe thatevery single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. People who are over 40, don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing.Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults." It's true. As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time." Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine."But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college."And then it starts to sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30."Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that.Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start acareer, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car. It's realizing you can't have that career you now want. It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling. Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "What was I doing? What was I thinking?"I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.Here's a story about how that can go. It's a story about a woman named Emma. At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead. Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "In case of emergency, please call ... ." She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck? Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?"Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, "I will." But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared. Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance. I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by.So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. That's procrastination. I told Emma to explore work and make it count.Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated. Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. That new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. So yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. But half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job. It's not cheating. It's the science of how informationspreads.Last but not least, Emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now. Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you. But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. That weak tie helped her get a job there. That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. Now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums. She's married to a man she mindfully chose. She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."Now Emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what I love about working with twentysomethings. They are so easy to help. Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji. Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, onegood break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.So here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex. It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You're deciding your life right now. Thank you. (Applause)。

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感动人心的TED英语演讲稿:二十岁,这些话对你很重要
Dear all,
Today, I want to talk about something that is very close to our hearts- being twenty years old. For most of us, it is a phase in our lives where we undergo a lot of changes, challenges, and experiences that shape us for the rest of our lives. It is a time when we start making decisions that
affect our future, and the choices we make can impact the
rest of our lives. So, what are the things that are important to know when we are twenty?
Firstly, it is important to understand that success is not an overnight phenomenon. We live in a world where social media platforms showcase success stories that make us believe that success is easy to achieve. However, every successful person has put in a lot of hard work and dedication towards their goals. It is essential to set realistic and achievable goals for ourselves and work towards them with determination and perseverance.
Secondly, it is important to acknowledge that failure is a part of life. Most of us are afraid of failing, but it is
inevitable. We learn from our failures, and it helps us become better, and stronger individuals. Failing does not make us weak; in fact, it makes us more resilient and determined towards our goals.
Thirdly, it is important to cherish our relationships, family, and friends. They are our support system, and they will be there for us when we need them the most. Be grateful for the people in your life, and take out time for them. Nurture your relationships and give them the love and care that they deserve.
Fourthly, it is important to find your passion and pursue it with all your heart. It is not easy to decide what you want to do with your life, but it is important to listen to your heart and follow your dreams. Do not let societal norms or family pressure dictate your choices. Pursue what makes you happy and fulfilled.
Lastly, it is important to take care of your physical and mental well-being. Our bodies and minds are interconnected.
It is essential to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and take out time for self-care. Mental health is equally important, and we should not hesitate to seek help when needed.
In conclusion, being twenty can be overwhelming, but it
is also a time to discover ourselves, learn, and grow. Life
is a journey, and it is up to us to make it a memorable one. Remember, success is not the key to happiness, but happiness
is the key to success. So, live life with a positive attitude, be kind, and never stop learning.
Thank you.。

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