最全搞笑中式英语大集合
https://www.360docs.net/doc/8a12002617.html,
最全搞笑中式英语大集合
多中国人在说英语时有时会不经意间说出一些“中式英语”，不仅老外听到会摸不清头脑，中国人看到了也常常忍俊不禁。做好准备，下面就为你盘点那些让人爆笑的中式英语，看的时候一定要坐稳喽!
1.we two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁阿
2.how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你?
3.you don’t bird me,I don’t bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4.you have seed ，I will give you some color to see see 你有种，我要给你点颜色看看
https://www.360docs.net/doc/8a12002617.html,ernment abuse chicken 宫暴鸡丁
6.At KFC, We do Chichen Right 在肯德基，我们做鸡是对的
7.You Give Me Stop! 你给我站住!
8.Chop the strange fish 生鱼块
9.watch sister 表妹
10.take iron coffee 拿铁咖啡
11.American Chinese not enough 美中不足
12.Where cool where you stay!哪凉快上哪呆着
13.heart flower angry open 心花怒放
14.colour wolf 色狼
15.dry goods 干货
16.want money no; want life one! 要钱没有，要命一条
17.People mountain and people sea. 人山人海
18.you have two down son。你有两下子。
19.let the horse come on 放马过来
https://www.360docs.net/doc/8a12002617.html, 20.I give you face you don’t wanna face 给你脸你不要脸
21.red face know me 红颜知己
22.seven up eight down 七上八下
23.no three no four 不三不四
24.do morning *** 做早操;do class between *** 做课间操
25.you try try see!你试试看!
26.love who who 爱谁谁
27.look through autumn water 望穿秋水
28.go you mother's 去你妈
29.May I borrow your light? 借光
30.Handsome Year, Morning Die 英年早逝
31.dragon born dragon,ch icken born chicken,mouse’son can make hole!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞
32.morning three night four 朝三暮四
33.king eight eggs 王八蛋
34.no care three seven twenty one 不管三七二十一
35.go and look 走着瞧
36.poor light egg 穷光蛋
37.ice snow clever 冰雪聪明
38.first see you，i **** love you 第一次见你，我便爱上了你
39.horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎
40.no money no talk 没钱免谈
41.hello everybody! if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝
42.you me you me 彼此彼此
https://www.360docs.net/doc/8a12002617.html, 43.know is know， noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知
44.watch sisiter 表妹
45.American Chinese not enough 美中不足
46.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述
47.go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过
48.小明：I am sorry! 老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three! 老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
49.If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!
要钱没有，要命一条
50.I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。
51.you have two down son。你有两下子
52. dry mother 干妈
中文：请勿交谈，以防飞沫
英文：Please No Conversation, No Saliva
翻译：禁止交谈，禁止唾液
中文：留住花的美，体现您的美
英文：For the sake of everyone's enjoyment, please do pick the flowers
翻译：为了娱乐别人，请务必摘花
中文：滥用胶袋，需缴费每个2元。
英文：To abuse plastic bag, please pay money each 2 dollar
翻译：如果想要虐待塑料袋，请缴费每个2元
中文：有毒有害垃圾
https://www.360docs.net/doc/8a12002617.html, 英文：Poisonous &Evil Rubbish
翻译：有毒邪恶垃圾
中文：您给我一份爱心，我给您一片温馨
英文：Give me your love, and I will make you peel at home
翻译：给我你的爱，我会让你在家里剥皮
中文：餐饮后，请将椅子归位并带走您的垃圾，谢谢
英文：Please Keep chair on position &Keep table cleaned after dying. Thanks for your corporation.
翻译：死之后请保持椅子的位置及桌子的清洁。谢谢您的企业。
简短英文笑话超级搞笑
简短英文笑话超级搞笑 门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。 ′why use my elbow and foot?′“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?′well. gosh,′ was the reply. ′you're not coming empty-hangded, are you?′“你的双手得拿礼物啊。 天哪，你总不会空着手来吧?吝啬鬼回答。 超级搞笑的简短英文笑话篇二a father of five children came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, "who is the most obedient(顺从的) , never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?" he inquired.一位有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里，把孩子们召集起来问这件礼物该给谁。 “谁最听话，从不和妈妈顶嘴，让干什么就干什么?他问道。 there was silence, and then a chorus(合唱，齐声) of voices: "you play with it, daddy!"大家都不吭声。 过了一会儿，孩子们异口同声地说：“爸爸，您玩吧。 超级搞笑的简短英文笑话篇三"did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗?"no, but i am encouraged," he replied. "somebody stole one."“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。 超级搞笑的简短英文笑话篇四having been married a long time, my
搞笑的英文句子
搞笑的英文句子 1、Thewisenevermarry,Andwhentheymarrytheybecomeotherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。 2、Whentwo'scompany,three'stheresult! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！ 3、Successisarelativeterm.Itbringssomanyrelatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。 4、 Themoreyoulearn,themoreyouknow,Themoreyouknow,themoreyouforget.Themoreyouforget,thelessyouknow.Sowhybothertolearn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？ 5、Savewater.Showerwithyourgirlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。 6、Thereshouldbeabetterwaytostartadaythanwakingupeverymorning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。 7、Godmaderelatives;ThankGodwecanchooseourfriends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。 8、Adressislikeabarbedfence.Itprotectsthepremiseswithoutrestrictingtheview. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你贸然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。 9、“Hardworkneverkilledanybody.”Butwhytaketherisk?“ ”努力工作不会导致死亡！“不过我不会用自己去证明。 10、Everymanshouldmarry.Afterall,happinessisnottheonlythinginlife. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
十句经典的中国人常用错的中式英语表达
十句经典的中国人常用错的中式英语表达 01.有他这颗扫帚星，什么事情都办不成。 [误] With a comet like him, nothing can be accomplished。 [正] With a jinx like him, nothing can be accomplished。 注：“扫帚星”是中国人对“慧星”(comet)的俗称，因其后面象拖着的一条像扫帚一样的长尾巴而得名。在中国古代，“扫帚星”被认为是灾难的预兆，并被用来比喻不吉利的人或事；祸根；person or thing that is thought to bring badluck(to sb/sth)；curse。英语的 comet虽然没有这层含义，但却有一个对应的说法，即 jinx。例：There's a jinx on/Someone's put a jinx on this car: it's alwaysgiving me trouble。“这辆汽车不太吉利，总给我找麻烦”。 02.萝卜青菜，各有所爱。 [误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage。 [正] Tastes differ。 注：Tastes differ/vary是句英语谚语，除此以外，原句还可翻译成No dish suits alltastes或You can never make everyone happy 等。《新概念英语》第三册第23课的标题是：Oneman's meat is another man's poison，表达的很生动。 总之，应采取意译。 03.他一向嘴硬，从不认错。 [误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault。 [正] He never says uncle。 注：Say (cry) uncle: to give up or in; to surrender；to admitdefeat。Say uncle主要是男孩们打架时的用语，当一方想制服另一方时，就用命令的口气说：“Sayuncle!”这时，有的孩子为了表示不服输，就是不说。后来，say uncle就成了“服输”的代名词，而not sayuncle就相当于“嘴硬”了。 04.老师很喜欢这个嘴甜的小姑娘。 [误] The teacher likes this sweet-mouthed little girl verymuch。 [正] The teacher likes this honey-lipped little girl verymuch。 注：中国人喜欢说“嘴甜”，但honey-lipped更符合英美人的语言
关于简短的爆笑英语笑话大全
关于简短的爆笑英语笑话大全 英语笑话从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。本文是关于简短的爆笑英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助! 关于简短的爆笑英语笑话：I Caught Every Step 我一级也没漏 Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor. Did you miss a step? asked his dad. No, I caught every blessed one! came the bitter answered. 布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。他跳了起来，跑到厅里，发现自己上了学的儿子四角朝天地躺在地上。 你是不是踩漏了一级台阶?爸爸问。 不，我每一级都撞上了，一级也没有漏掉!儿子痛苦地回答。 关于简短的爆笑英语笑话：I Taught the Teacher Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today? Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.
趣味英语和雷人中式英语
世界各地搞笑的十句蹩脚英语 ①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。 日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。 ②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。 匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。 ③Ladies are requested not to have
children in the bar。 挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。 ④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。 瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的。 ⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists。 香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。
⑥Drop your trousers here for best results。 泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的裤子，等待最好的结果。 ⑦Specialist in women and other diseases。 意大利妇科诊所：我们是women 和其他疾病的专家。 ⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。
俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。 ⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions。 丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。 ⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here。 墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。
“地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译
【翻译趣闻】 “地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译 1. 有他这颗扫帚星，什么事情都办不成。 [误] With a comet like him, nothing can be accomplished. [正] With a jinx like him, nothing can be accomplished. 注：“扫帚星”是中国人对“慧星”(comet)的俗称，因其后面拖着一条像扫帚一样的长尾巴而得名。在中国古代，“扫帚星”被认为是灾难的预兆，并被用来比喻不吉利的人或事；祸根：(person or thing that is thought to bring)bad luck(to sb/sth)；curse。英语的comet 虽然没有这层含义，但却有一个对应的说法，即jinx。 例：There's a jinx on/Someone's put a jinx on this car: it's always giving me trouble. (这辆汽车上有什么妨人的东西，总给我找麻烦。) 2.萝卜青菜，各有所爱。 [误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage. [正] Tastes differ。 注：Tastes differ/vary是句英语谚语，除此以外，原句还可翻译成No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy 等。此外，我们还可以这样说：One man's meat is another man's poison. 总之，应采取意译。 3.他一向嘴硬，从不认错。 [误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault. [正] He never says uncle. 注：say (cry) uncle: to give up or in; to surrender; to admit defeat. Mainly used by boys, as when fighting. 这句话主要是男孩们打架时的用语，当一方想制服另一方时，就用命令的口气说：“Say uncle!” 这时，有的孩子为了表示不服输，就是不说。后来，say uncle 就成了“服输”的代名词，而not say uncle 就相当于“嘴硬”了。 4.老师很喜欢这个嘴甜的小姑娘。 [误] The teacher likes this sweet-mouthed little girl very much. [正] The teacher likes this honey-lipped little girl very much. 注：中国人喜欢说“嘴甜”，但honey-lipped更符合英美人的语言习惯。 5.同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。 [误] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass. [正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots. 注：以前在欧洲，臣民见到国王与王后往往要亲吻他们的靴子。后来，人们将lick the boots 引申为“为了某种目的而讨好某人”，它与汉语的“拍马屁”含义一样。在美国英语中，“拍马屁”还有另一种说法，即polish the apple，源于以前的学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我Tm 还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："where?where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："everywhere,everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不
见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAm后羿！」 b神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAm丘比特！」 轮到c了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree. 老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，ToKoTA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，nIssAn！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，honDA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”
经典幽默英语故事(30个)-(1)
经典幽默英语故事（50个） 要求： 1、每天阅读两篇小故事，写出故事大意，尽量理解故事里的幽默点。 2 3、开学后，请把这14页的阅读素材，装订成册，上交给各班的英语老师。老师会根据你的完成情况，给你的阅读作业打出分数。 姓名：_________ 班级：_________ 学号：_________ 成绩：_________ 第一篇 My First and My Last When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go." They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane." Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?" "Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark. 故事大意： _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第二篇 First Flight Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was
爆笑英语翻译
「中国英文」（Chinese English）Chinglish “地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译 1.we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿 2.You give me stop! 你给我站住 3Good good study,day day up!好好学习天天向上4.Icall Liold bigtoyear25我叫李老大今年25 6.you have two down son你有两下子 7.You ask me,I ask who？你问我，我去问谁？ 8.People mountain and people sea.人山人海9.seven up eight down 七上八下 10.no three no four不三不四11. Moon under old man 月下老人 12.Open the door see mountain开门见山13. pen see you鄙视你 14.Five flowers eight doors五花八门 15.I’ll give you some color to see see(我要给你点颜色看看) 1.王八蛋：wang eight eggs 2.白痴：White eat! 3.吃白食：eat white food 4.红颜知己：red face know me 5.老表：old watch 6.表妹：watch sister 7.别唬我：don’t tiger me 8.狗娘养的：dog mother born 9.作早操：do early fuck 10.不三不四：no three no four 11.马马虎虎：horse horse tiger tiger 12. 你给我站住：you give me stop 13.你他妈的：you he mother’s 14.你问我我去问谁：you ask me,me ask who 15.猪头三去死吧：pig head 3,go dead! 16.朝三暮四：morning three night four 17.怎么是你：how are you? 18. how old are you? 怎么老是你 19.要钱不给，要命有一条：want money no, want life one 20.三人行，必有我师：three people go, one is my teacher 1.各位知不知道“让广州充满爱”的官方翻译？—Let’s make love everywhere in our Guangzhou！！ 2.你也许已走出我的视线,但从未走出我的思念You may be out of my sight,but never out of my mind 3怀才像怀孕时间长才能看到Having knowledge likes having pregnantit takes times to beawareness 4.妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人. Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply. 5.萝卜青菜，各有所爱。[误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage.[正] Tastes differ。No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy 6.他一向嘴硬，从不认错。[误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault.[正] He never says uncle.注：当一方想制服另一方时就用命令说：“Say uncle!” “服输”，而not say uncle 就是“嘴硬” 7.同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。[误] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass.[正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots.注：以前在欧洲，臣民见到国王与王后往往要亲吻他们的靴子。后来，人们将lick the boots 引申汉语的“拍马屁”。在美国英语中，“拍马屁”还有另一种说法polish the apple，学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师。 8.你听说了吗？迈克把他的女朋友给甩了。[误] Have you ever heard that Mike broke up with his girlfriend?[正] Have you ever heard that Mike dumped his girlfriend?注：break up with sb. 虽然表示“与某人分手了”，并没说明是谁先提出来的。而dump 指“倾倒垃圾”，这里则表示像倒垃圾一样地甩掉。 9.人都是这山望着那山高，对自己的现状没有满意的时候。[误] Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.[正] Almost all people think that the grass is greener on the other hill. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.注：“这山望着那山高”是指人不满足于现状的心理，它在英语中已经有了现成的说法，即the grass is greener on the other hill(他山的草更绿)，因此我们借用即可，
最新整理最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 生活中怎么能少了笑话来调味一下我们乏味枯燥 的日常呢?一则搞笑的小笑话就能让我们原本苦恼的心情立刻变得像春天的鲜花一样灿烂，学习啦小编为你准备了非常搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译，希望你的生活像夏日的阳光一样! 搞笑的英语小笑话1：E x p e n s i v e P r i c e D e n t i s t:I m s o r r y,m a d a m,b u t I l l h a v e t o c h a r g e y o u t w e n t y-f i v e d o l l a r s f o r p u l l i n g y o u r s o n s t o o t h. M o t h e r: T w e n t y-f i v e d o l l a r s! B u t I t h o u g h t y o u o n l y c h a r g e d f i v e d o l l a r s f o r a n e x t r a c t i o n. D e n t i s t:I u s u a l l y d o.B u t y o u r s o n y e l l e d s o l o u d,h e s c a r e d f o u r o t h e r p a t i e n t s o u t o f t h e o f f i c e. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了 搞笑的英语小笑话2：I W a s n t A s l e e p W h e n a g r o u p o f w o m e n g o t o n t h e c a r,e v e r y s e a t w a s a l r e a d y o c c u p i e d.T h e c o n d u c t o r n o t i c e d a m a n w h o s e e m e d t o b e a s l e e p, a n d f e a r i n g h e m i g h t m i s s h i s s t o p, h e n u d g e d h i m a n d s a i d:W a k e u p,s i r! I w a s n t a s l e e p,t h e m a n a n s w e r e d. N o t a s l e e p?B u t y o u h a d y o u r e y e s c l o s e d. I k n o w. I j u s t h a t e t o l o o k a t l a d i e s s t a n d i n g u p b e s i d e m e i n a c r o w d e d c a r. 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：先生，醒醒! 我没有睡着。那个男人回答。 没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀? 我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。
最常见的10种中国式英语错误
最常见的10种中国式英语错误 成龙的“Long time no see.”戏剧性地将中国式英语带上了世界的舞台；后起之秀“no zuo no die.”光荣地被美国在线俚语词典收录。越来越多的中国式英语慢慢被世界人民所接受，但这却并不代表所有的中国式英语都将成为一种潮流。今天，我们就来研究一下10个最典型的中国式英语错误吧~ 1. 我没有经验。 误：I have no experience. 正：I don't know much about that. 提示：I have no experience这句话听起来古里古怪，因为您只需要说那方面我懂得不多，或者这方面我不在行，就行了：I am not really an expert in this area. 2. 现在几点钟了？ 误：What time is it now? 正：What time is it, please? 提示：What time is it now是一个直接从汉语翻译过的句子，讲英语的时候没有必要说now，因为您不可能问what time was it yesterday, 或者what time is it tommorow?所以符合英语习惯的说法是：请问现在几点了？还有一种说法是：How are we doing for time?这句话在有时间限制的时候特别合适。 3. 明天我有事情要做。 误：I have something to do tomorrow. 正：I am tied up all day tomorrow. 提示：用I have something to do来表示您很忙，这也完全是中国式的说
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。 有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。 ” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。 他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。 A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一 句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六）
经典搞笑英语翻译
经典搞笑英语翻译 1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don't bird me,I don't bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me 彼此彼此7．You Give Me Stop!! 你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知… 9．W ATCH SISTER 表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse''son can make hole!! 龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！11．American Chinese not enough 美中不足12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open 心花怒放14．go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过15．小明：I am sorry! 老外：I am sorry too! 小明：I am sorry three! 老外：What are you sorry for? 小明：I am sorry five! 16．If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条17．I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。18．you have two down son。你有两下子。19．as far as you go to die 有多远，死多远！！！！20．I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face , I turn my face 给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸
典型中国式英语
老外眼里的中式英语 在各个英语学习论坛上，经常可以看到有关Chinglish（中式英语）的文章，但一般都是中国人写的。不过我看到过一篇长文，也是有关Chinglish的，但却是美国人写的，很有意思。这篇长文的标题是Ching lish 2 English（从中式英语到标准英语），作者是浙江大学的美国外教Chuck Allanson，内容则是Chuck 在中国五年任教期间所听到、所看到的各种Chinglish说法。 比如Chuck第一次来中国，下飞机后，负责接待他的东北某大学英语系陈老师说：您刚到，我们吃点饭吧。我们要点Chinese dumpling（饺子）和Chinese beancurd（豆腐），您看可以吗？Chuck以前从未听说过这两种东西，但出于好奇，就说可以，结果饭菜端上来一看，原来就是ravioli（饺子，来自意大利语）和tofu（豆腐，来自日语）。Chuck当时心里暗想，这两种东西，国际上早已经有通用的说法（raviol i和tofu），他们中国人为什么还要用那种生僻的说法呢？以后Chuck跟陈先生混熟了，就问他，当初你为什么不说ravio li和tofu呢？陈先生听了大吃一惊，连忙解释说，我真的不知道这两个词，而且我们的《英汉词典》上也没有这两个词。于是Chuck开始意识到，中国的英语教师、英语课本、甚至英语词典肯定存在问题，否则不可能发生这种事情。在中国五年的任教期间，Chuck收集了大量的Chinglish说法，从中挑选出一组最常见的，编写了上面提到的那篇长文。下面就是这些Chinglish说法，其中每行第一部分是汉语说法，第二部分是Chinglish说法，第三部分则是英语的标准说法。 ①欢迎你到... ② welcome you to ... ③ welcome to ... ①永远记住你② remember you forever ③ always remember you（没有人能活到forever） ①祝你有个... ② wish you have a ... ③ I wish you a ... ①给你② give you ③here you are ①很喜欢... ② very like ... ③like ... very much ①黄头发② yellow hair ③ blond/blonde（西方人没有yellow hair的说法） ①厕所② WC ③ men's room/women's room/restroom ①真遗憾② it's a pity ③ that's too bad/it's a shame（it's a pity说法太老） ①裤子② trousers ③pants/slacks/jeans ①修理② mend ③fix/repair ①入口② way in ③entrance ①出口② way out ③ exit（way out在口语中是crazy的意思） ①勤奋② diligent ③hardworking/studious/conscientious ①应该② should ③ must/shall ①火锅② chafing dish ③hot pot ①大厦② mansion ③ center/plaza ①马马虎虎② so-so ③ average/fair/all right/not too bad/OK（西方人很少使用so-so） ①好吃② delicious ③ good/nice/tasty/appetizing（delicious在中国被滥用） ①尽我最大努力② try my best ③ try/strive（try的本意就是try my best） ①有名② famous ③well-known/renowned/legendary/popular（famous在中国被滥用） ①滑稽② humorous ③ funny/witty/amusing/entertaining ①欺骗② to cheat ③to trick/to play a joke on/to con/to deceive/to rip off ①车门② the door of the car ③the car's door ①怎么拼? ② how to spell? ③how do you spell?
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇 有时候阅读一些幽默搞笑的英语故事，除了能让人产生兴趣更能提高英语阅读水平。以下是小编给大家整理的关于高中英语幽默笑话故事，希望可以帮到大家 关于高中英语幽默笑话故事 the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him. one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbit that you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox. he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away. the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. the mouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth. the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could. 狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子，但是这只兔子太难抓到了。 一天，狼对狐狸说：“你回家假装躺在床上。我去告诉兔子你已经死了。当他来看你的时候，你就可以跳起来抓住他了。”“真是个好主意!”狐狸说。 于是他立刻回到家。狼去兔子的房前敲了敲门，“是谁啊?”兔子问道。“狼，我是来告诉你狐狸已经死了。”说完狼就走开了。