【英语趣闻】美国人最喜欢的幽默段子
搞笑英文段子带翻译
下面是一些搞笑的英文段子，附带中文翻译，希望能给大家带来一些欢乐。
1. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
你怎么称呼穿着马甲的鳄鱼？
An investigator.
侦探鱼。
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
清洁工从壁橱里跳出来时说了什么？
“Suppliesu get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
如果你把雪人和狗交叉，会得到什么？
Frostbite.
冻伤。
6. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
青蛙的车出故障会发生什么？
It gets toad away.
它会被拖走。
7. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
海鸥为什么不飞越海湾？
Because then they’d be bagels!
因为那样它们就会成为贝果！
希望这些段子能给你带来欢乐，不过记得要根据具体情况来使用，要适时适地讲笑话哦！
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
They don’t have the guts.
因为它们没有胆量。
3. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
如果你把雪人和吸血鬼交叉，你得到什么？
Frostbite.
冻伤。
4. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
最受读者欢迎的英语笑话大全
最受读者欢迎的英语笑话大全Coins in American Currency 美国的硬币There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations:$.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。
老外最精彩一句话笑话(附中文整理版)
【老外最精彩一句话笑话(附中文整理版)】1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stolea bike and asked for forgiveness.开始我直接求帝哥赐辆自行车。
后来我琢磨帝哥办事儿不是这个路数。
于是老子偷了一辆然后求帝哥宽恕。
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去…… 而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊！3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.你永远不能战胜一个纯傻逼,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。
/我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。
/在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列.5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...如觉嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操错洞... /若XXOO。
是下体的痛。
那么。
是你操错。
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫！！！！！！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！！！！！ /早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
经典英语幽默笑话集锦
经典英语幽默笑话集锦笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。
下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话集锦，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话集锦精选(一)猪还是女巫 Pig or WitchA man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pigin the middle of the road.他们继续前行。
这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。
If only men would listen.要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
(二)The World's Greatest Swordsman世界上最伟大的击剑手At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell inanticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。
英语笑话经典段子
英语笑话经典段子笑话是一种简短的艺术语言，它能调剂我们的心情，今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话经典段子吧!英语笑话经典段子(一)一个小男孩非常想要一百美元买一辆自行车，但是祈祷了两个星期也没有结果。
于是，他决定给上帝写一封信要这一百美元。
当邮局收到这封收信人为“美国，上帝”的信后，他们决定把它寄给美国总统。
总统很重视，也很感动。
他命令他的秘书寄给个小男孩五美元纸钞。
总统认为这对于一个小男孩来说应该是一笔大钱了。
这个小男孩收到这五美元后非常高兴，又坐下来给上帝写了一封感谢信，信中写道:A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to alittle boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:亲爱的上帝:Dear Lord，非常感谢你寄给我的钱。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
英文最搞笑的笑话20篇(精挑细选)
Joke 1
One day after school the teacher said to his students， “Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question．I'll allow him or her to go home earlier．” The next day， when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed．He was very angry and asked， “Who did it？Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob， “Now，I can go home，
Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?
Husband: I... I happened to be inside the coat.
Joke 4
The next morning at school, the teacher asked Peter if he had learned the three words by heart. Yes, he said proudly, I, I am your father; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your mother; You, You are my son.
Joke 3
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?
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【英语趣闻】美国人最喜欢的幽默段子
1、I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. 我的品味最简单了，我总是对最好的感到满意
注：前一句好像在说自己对品味要求不高
2、If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
如果你爱某人，就给他自由，但是如果他患了疱疹回来，你不要吃惊
3、Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
智慧来自经验，经验常常是缺少智慧的结果
4、Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
嘿，Rosalie？你知道怎样淹死一个金发美女吗？在池塘底部粘上一面镜子
注：美国有不少说金发美女愚蠢的笑话，在池底照镜子被淹死了
5、In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
起初，什么也没有，然后就爆炸了
注：宇宙中最早什么也没有，然后就大爆炸了
6、Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
生活不模仿艺术，它模仿糟糕的电视节目
注：人们的生活没有那么高的艺术性，年轻人模仿一些糟糕的电视节目而已
好消息！好消息！线话英语为了满足更多用户的需求，也为了感谢大家对线话英语教育的支持和肯定，我们准备了一系列的优惠活动等着大家来领取。
还在纠结选哪家英语培训学校的大家我们特此准备了一键注册线话英语网站，立即就能获得体验试听课。
机会难得不容错过，还有更多优惠活动即将推出。
敬请关注线话英语官方网站。
7、To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
失去一个父母可能会被认为是不幸，两个都lose(失去，走丢)看起来就像是粗心了。
注：第一个“lose”是“失去”的意思，第二个”lose”应该是“丢失”的意思，
没看好父母，把父母丢了，这孩子太粗心了。
8、What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course”
我在床上穿什么？
——这还用问吗？当然是香奈儿5号
9、The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
我岁数越大越不相信“岁月带来智慧”这种熟悉的说法。
注：意思是“我岁数越来越大，可为什么还不见智慧的到来”。
10、The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
商业上激烈竞争的不幸是，即使你胜了，你依然是一只老鼠
注：rat race(商界的)激烈竞争；字面意思：老鼠竞赛
11、Just because you're beautiful and perfect,it's made you conceited. 正是因为你美丽、完美，才让你变得自负
注：真会夸人
12、Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
老鼠是要让我们明白，自然界不是每样东西都有用途
13、The covers of this book are too far apart.
这本书的封面相距太远了
注：说那本书很厚
14、That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
这就是他们为什么称之为美国梦，因为你一定要睡着了才能相信它
15、You're an idiot.
I've never claimed to be otherwise.
你是个傻瓜
——我从来没有声称我不是
16、Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's
something you don't know.
自信是无知，如果你感到过于自信，那是因为有些事情你不知道
17、Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.”严格法律意义上讲，我没带武器，但是谁也不应该低估指甲能够造成的伤害，特别是如果目标没有准备
18、There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
世界上只有一件事情比被人谈论更糟糕，那就是不被人谈论
注：很多演员说讨厌被人八卦，不被人八卦才着急呢
19、If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.
如果我的医生告诉我，我的生命只剩下6分钟了，我就不会沉思了，我打字会更快一些
20、Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
哦，上帝，如果你原谅我跟你开的小玩笑
我会原谅你跟我开的大玩笑。