Miss You,Dear Dad

As the saying goes that frustration is the catalyst of growth, I became more mature and stronger after losing my dear father about one year. But every night when looking back on my father, I will still burst into tears,
When I was in senior two, we were all immersed in deep sorrow when my father was found seriously ill. At first, we kept seeking help from different doctors, believing that father would recover. And we tried to encourage him to be optimistic and confident .But later everything changed…
Because I was studying in a school taking enclosed type of management and far away from my hometown, I was not allowed to go home when in senior three. Every day on the phone my father said everything went well and told me not to worry about him. I believed .Not until 90 days before the college entrance examination did I learn the truth. My brother ,who studied in the same school ,found me and cried,“sister, we can’t hold it back from you any longer, mother ask us to hurry back….. dad was seriously ill......”I wa s dizzy, tears flowing out......That night I learned that my father's condition had worsened in the past half year. He didn’t allow anybody to reveal his worsening illness to me for fear that I can’t bear it and give up on study! When I arrived home in the late evening, my mother was holding my father tightly, who was moaning of pain .Seeing me, she couldn't help crying,“Y our father didn't let us tell you but now you knew what condition your father is in. Keep working hard when back to school, you know ?”I nodded, tears flowing. My father didn’t have any appetite for a long time and now was reduced almost to skeleton! His skin was dark yellow, hanging loosely around exaggerated bones! My heart ached.
During the next few days my father was almost in a coma, having no more strength for conversation. My heart was torn with grief when observing my dear father, who was once robust but frail incomparably now. “Dear dad, do you really want to leave us, alone?” In desperation, many of our relatives persuaded my brother and I to return to school, but we didn’t want to leave, because if we left, when could we meet our father again? Maybe never! However, a few days later, I had to return to school to take the Oral English Test. I called my mother the moment I finished it. My
mother cried and said,“your father has left us. He was choked with tears after you left……”All of a sudden, my heart became blank and I ran to the bathroom, wailing miserably.....
What I fear most happened, which maybe the pain one cannot bear in life. I seemed to become calm and numb. With the comfort and encouragement from my teachers and classmates, I kept working hard .But when I think of my father, my heart is painful. Father, how unfortunate you were! Y ou lived a life of hardship and toil and was still tortured by illness, so painful! Y ou left us before we could utter the words “thank you” to you!
I have been afraid of the soul before, but now I hope for the existence of soul. My mother always said that although father passed away, he will be alive in our hearts forever. However, my life will never be perfect from then on. Every night, I will dream of my father and woke up with tears. When I succeed in something, I think of dad. I want to let him know that I don’t let him down. I long to see him smiling at me again! Dear dad, I really want to be able to talk to you again! Can you hear me in the heaven?
I always believe that treating people alive well is the best memorial to the dead. Thus, My brothers and I decided to work hard to make my mother happy. This is the best choice, am I right, dear dad?。