英文演讲稿全文
英文演讲稿(精选10篇)

英文演讲稿(精选10篇)English Speech (Selected 10 Speeches)1. "The Power of Education"Ladies and gentlemen,Today, I stand before you to talk about the power of education. Education is not just about acquiring knowledge; it is about shaping minds, creating opportunities, and transforming lives.2. "Climate Change: Our Responsibility"Dear audience,Climate change is one of the most pressing challenges of our time. We must take responsibility for our actions and work towards sustainable solutions to protect our planet for future generations.3. "Gender Equality: A Journey Towards Balance"Esteemed guests,The battle for gender equality is far from over. We must continue to challenge societal norms and work towards a world where everyone, regardless of their gender, has equal rights and opportunities.4. "The Importance of Mental Health Awareness"My dear friends,Mental health is just as important as physical health. It is time we break the stigma surrounding mental health and prioritize the well-being of ourselves and those around us.5. "The Role of Technology in Shaping the Future"Distinguished guests,Technology has revolutionized the way we live, work, and communicate. It is vital that we embrace and harness the power of technology to create a better and more inclusive future.6. "The Significance of Cultural Diversity"Ladies and gentlemen,Our cultural diversity is our strength. By celebrating our differences and fostering inclusivity, we can build a harmonious society that thrives on cultural exchange and understanding.7. "Overcoming Adversity: The Road to Success"Dear audience,Life is filled with challenges, but it is how we overcome them that defines us. Let us turn setbacks into opportunities and learn from our failures, for success is often found on the other side of adversity.8. "The Importance of Volunteerism"Esteemed guests,Volunteerism is not only a selfless act but also a powerful way to create social change. Let us come together and make a difference in the lives of those who need it the most.9. "The Impact of Social Media on Society"My dear friends,Social media has revolutionized the way we connect and communicate. However, it also comes with its share of challenges. We must use social media responsibly and be mindful of its impact on our mental health and society as a whole.10. "The Potential of Youth Leadership"Distinguished guests,The youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow. It is essential that we empower and support young leaders in their journey to create a better world, where their voices are heard and their ideas are valued.In conclusion, these ten selected speeches touch upon various important topics that affect our lives and the world around us. It is through effective communication and open dialogue that we can push for positive change and create a brighter future for all. Thank you.。
英语演讲稿(精彩9篇)

英语演讲稿(精彩9篇)篇一:英文发言稿范文五篇一Good morningeveningafternoon, ladies and gentlemen :Today, my speech is about talents,in my opionion, talents are indispensable in nowadays society. as is known to all that the fight among countries is actually the fight among talents.First, i'd like to define the word"talent" in my idea, a talent is one person who is good at or expertised in some or multiple areas. nowadays, as the world developing goes on , if one country want to rank top or do a good job in the world, the country must have many talents.for example, china, the biggest developing country in the world, in the past 100 years, is always invaded by other countries, why ,the reason is that china at that time had not so many talents. if they had anti-intrusion leader talents in the war, needless to say,they would have beat those big powers.if they had talents in weapons manufacturing, nodody dares to provoke us.however, nowadays, it's a totally different situation, china has become powerfulin all over the world, why ?because there are many talents serving the country, the civilians become more and more and more people go to university,more and more people come to receive further education. so what is that in return,talents in army protect our country from invasion, talents in commerce help make our economy keep in improving, talents in aerospace make the world see chinese manned spacecraft flying. talents in sports make china rank the first in the olympic games……To sum up, talents will play a more and more impoetant role in the world, if one country intends to flourish, he must foster talents as many as they can ,that's all,thank you.篇二:英语演讲稿篇二各位领导、老师:大家好!首先我感谢同事一直以来对我的信任和支持,同时给我这个机会来参加本次教师岗位竞聘的演讲。
英文发言稿范文五篇

英文发言稿范文五篇演讲又叫讲演或演说,是指在公众场所,以有声语言为主要手段,以体态语言为辅助手段,针对某个具体问题,鲜明,完整地发表自己的见解和主张。
下面就是小编给大家带来的英文发言稿范文五篇,欢迎大家阅读!英文发言稿范文五篇1hello! ladies and gentlemen, it is so nice to meet you!I am glad that you can spend this precious time having this class in this afternoon.Now please allow me to introduce myself to you .My name is Wangjia and I majored in traffic engineering .Baoji is my hometown it is very beautiful. and the people are very friendly.As we all known thinking is easy acting is difficult and to put one's thoughts into actions is the most difficult thing in the world.So if we want to learn English well ,we must practice reading English everyday ,actually practicing repeatedly is the best way to succeed.When you speak ,don't care how poorly or how well you speak just care about catching the chance to speak ,enjoy losing face or just forget your face because the more you speak the better your English will become,never afraid of making mistakes because the more mistakes you make the more progress you will make.As a man living in the world ,we must try our best to make each day our masterpiece and don't let our parents down ,don't ever let our country down ,most importantly don't let ourselves down.Yesterday is a memory tomorrow is a dream so live for today just do it right now.I believe if you can dream it you can make it ,if you do you will win if you don't you won't.Believe in yourself trust yourself try your best. don't give up ,never give in, neverlose hope , never say impossible .The success is coming !Thank you英文发言稿范文五篇2Good morning ladies and gentlmen,It is my great pleasure to stand here to present my speech—— As you slowly open your eyes, look around, notice where the light comes into your room;listen carefully, see if there are new sounds you can recognize;feel with your body and spirit, and see if you can sense the freshness in the air. Yes, yes, yes, it’s a new day, it’s a different day, and it’s a bright day! And most importantly, it’s a new beginning for your life, a beginning where you are going to make new decisions, take new actions, make new friends, and take your life to a totally unprecedented(空前的) level. In your mind’s eye, you can see clearly the things you want to have, the paces you intend to go, the relationships you desire to develop, and the positions you aspire(励志) to reach. You can hear your laughters of joy and happiness on the day when everything happens as you dream. You can see the smiles on the people around you when the magic moment strikes. You can feel your face is getting red, your heart is beating fast, and your blood is rushing all over your body, to every single corner of your being! You know all this is real as long as you are confident, passionate and committed!(效忠的) And you are confident, you are passionate, you are committed! You will no longer fear making new sounds, showing new facial expressions, using your body in new ways, approaching new people, and asking new questions. You will live every single day of your life with absolute passion, and you will show your passion through the words you speak and the actions you take. You will focus all your time and effort on the most important goals of your life. You will never succumb(屈服,屈从) tochallenges of hardships. You will never waver(动摇) in your pursuit of excellence. After all, you are the best, and you deserve the best! As your coach and friend, I can assure you the door to all the best things in the world will open to you, but the key to that door is in your hand. You must do your part. You must faithfully follow the plans you make and take the actions you plan;you must never quit and you must never fear. I know you must do it, you can do it, you will do it, and you will succeed! Now stand firm and tall, make a fist, get excited, and yell it out: I must do it! I can do it! I will do it! I will succeed! I must do it! I can do it! I will do it! I will succeed! I must do it! I can do it! I will do it! I will succeed!英文发言稿范文五篇3Ladies and Gentlemen:My topic is Honesty. As a correspondent of the Qingdao Morning News, I visited Dr. James Gilman, the President of the International Committee for Marco Polo Studies in England. In this picture, this is James, and this is me and we are looking at a dragon’s tooth. This is a true story. 英文发言稿范文五篇chuzhongchusan 65 years ago, James lived in Qingdao. Then he was only 5 years old.He often visited the Aquarium and was fascinated by a creature on display there, which he thought was a dragon. He was afraid of its sharp teeth and wanted one to keep as a treasure. In the late 1930s, when the Japanese occupied Qingdao, his family had to leave. On his last day in Qingdao, he ran to the Aquarium and pulled out one of the teeth from the dragon’s mouth.He kept the tooth for the next 65 years, but the feeling of guilt at having stolen it was there in the background all throughhis life. It was always on his conscience, and the feeling intensified as he became older. Finally he decided to put right his childish error. In 20_, he visited Qingdao and returned it to the Aquarium with his sincere apologies. He received a warm welcome.When James visited Qingdao, I accompanied him all the time and reported on his visit. I was deeply touched by his honesty. It has taught me a lot. I think to err is human. The important thing is to have the courage to admit and correct one’s error. Honesty is a vital quality of human behaviour. So we should try to keep an honest mind in everything we say and do. I would like to say to all o f my friends: Let’s be honest people of good moral character.Thank you.英文发言稿范文五篇4good evening ,ladies and gentlemen:thank you very much for choosing to e in such a cold night。
我的英文演讲稿英语演讲3篇

我的英文演讲稿英语演讲我的英文演讲稿英语演讲精选3篇(一)Ladies and gentlemen,Good afternoon!Today, I am honored to stand before you and deliver a speech in English. English has become a global language, connecting people from different cultures and nations. It is a tool for communication, understanding, and bridge-building.I would like to share with you my story of learning English and the importance of mastering this language in today's world.As a young child, English was always a subject that fascinated me. I was drawn to the sounds and rhythms of the language and had a burning desire to learn it. However, my journey to become proficient in English was not a smooth one. I faced numerous challenges and moments of frustration along the way.But I persevered. I dedicated countless hours to studying grammar, expanding my vocabulary, and practicing speaking and listening. I surrounded myself with English materials, such as books, movies, and music, to immerse myself in the language. I even found language exchange partners to practice speaking with. Through tireless effort and determination, I gradually improved my English skills.I soon realized that being able to speak English opened up a world of opportunities for me. It allowed me to communicate with people from different countries and cultures, broadening my horizons and deepening my understanding of the world. It also provided me with access to a vast amount of knowledge and information that was previously inaccessible to me.English has become an essential tool for success in today's globalized society. Whether it is for furthering our education, advancing our careers, or simply connecting with people around the world, the ability to communicate in English is crucial. It is a language that transcends borders and enables us to thrive in an increasingly interconnected world.However, learning English is not just about acquiring language skills. It is about embracing diversity, fostering understanding, and promoting global citizenship. Bylearning English, we open ourselves to different perspectives and become part of a global community that values cooperation and mutual respect. It allows us to break down barriers and build bridges between cultures, fostering peace and harmony.In conclusion, mastering the English language is not just a personal achievement, but a powerful tool for connecting with the world and shaping a better future. Let us embrace the opportunities that learning English provides and strive to become global citizens who contribute to making the world a better place.Thank you for your attention.我的英文演讲稿英语演讲精选3篇(二)Ladies and gentlemen,Good evening! Today, I stand before you to deliver a speech on a topic that holds great significance in today's interconnected world - the importance of learning English.English has emerged as the global language of communication, commerce, and culture. It is estimated that over 1.5 billion people worldwide speak English to some extent. Whether it is in the business world, academia, or even while traveling, English opens up a plethora of opportunities.Firstly, learning English enhances our chances of professional growth and success. In today's competitive job market, fluency in English has become a prerequisite for many positions. Employers seek candidates who possess strong English communication skills, as it enables effective collaboration with colleagues and clients from different cultural backgrounds.Secondly, English is the language of the internet, the digital world. From social media platforms to online learning resources, access to knowledge and information is predominantly in English. By learning English, we can bridge the gap between global ideas and local communities, empowering ourselves with limitless educational opportunities.Furthermore, English is a gateway to cultural understanding and global citizenship. By mastering a language, we gain access to literature, music, and art from around the world. We can appreciate diverse perspectives and engage with individuals from different cultures, breaking down barriers and fostering mutual respect.However, I understand that learning a new language can be challenging. It requires dedication, practice, and perseverance. But let me assure you that the benefits far outweigh the difficulties. Embrace the journey of learning English, and you will open doors to a whole new world of opportunities.To facilitate English learning, we must utilize all available resources. Take advantage of language learning apps, join language exchange programs, and engage in conversations with native English speakers. Practice listening, speaking, reading, and writing in English as much as possible. Consistency and effort are key to mastering any language.Moreover, let us encourage and support one another in our language learning endeavors. Create English-speaking environments within our schools, workplaces, and communities. Organize English language clubs and events where people can come together to practice and improve their language skills.In conclusion, learning English is not just about acquiring a new skill. It is about broadening our horizons, connecting with the world, and fostering understanding and empathy. As global citizens, embracing the English language will empower us to succeed professionally, engage with diverse cultures, and contribute positively to our interconnected world.Thank you all for your attention. Let us embark on this language learning journey together, hand in hand, and pave the way for a brighter future.我的英文演讲稿英语演讲精选3篇(三)Ladies and gentlemen,Today, I am here to talk to you about the importance of learning English. English has become a global language that is widely spoken and understood by people from all over the world. It is the language of international communication, business, and academia. In an increasingly interconnected and globalized world, the ability to speak English is not just an advantage, but a necessity.One of the main reasons why learning English is important is the opportunities it opens up. English is the language of business, and many multinational companies require their employees to have a good command of English. By learning English, you can increase your chances of getting a good job and advancing in your career. Moreover, English is the language of the internet, and by being able to communicate in English, you can access a wealth of information and connect with people from different cultures and backgrounds.Another reason why learning English is important is the cultural enrichment it provides. English is not just a language, but a gateway to different cultures and perspectives. By learning English, you can read books, watch movies, and listen to music from English-speaking countries, allowing you to immerse yourself in different traditions and ways of thinking. This exposure to different cultures can broaden your horizons and make you a more tolerant and open-minded individual.Furthermore, learning English can also improve your cognitive skills. Studies have shown that learning a second language, such as English, can enhance memory, problem-solving abilities, and creativity. By challenging your brain and learning new vocabulary and grammar structures, you can strengthen your cognitive functions and improve your overall mental agility.In conclusion, learning English is essential in today's globalized world. It offers career opportunities, cultural enrichment, and cognitive benefits. So, if you haven't already started, I encourage you to begin your journey of learning English. Whether it's through taking courses, practicing with native speakers, or immersing yourself in English-speaking environments, the rewards of learning English are boundless. Thank you.。
英语演讲稿(优秀10篇)

英语演讲稿(优秀10篇)演讲的格式由标题、开场白、主干和结尾组成。
在当今的社会生活中,言语的应用范围越来越广泛,那么你了解过言语吗?以下是用白话文整理的英语演讲(10篇优秀),希望对大家有所启发和帮助。
英语演讲稿篇一Ladies and Gentlemen:My topic is Honesty.As a correspondent of the Qingdao Morning News, I visited Dr. James Gilman, the President of the International Committee for Marco Polo Studies in England. In this picture, this is James, and this is me and we are looking at a dragon’s tooth. This is a true story.65 years ago, James lived in Qingdao. Then he was only 5 years old. He often visited the Aquarium and was fascinated by a creature on display there, which he thought was a dragon. He was afraid of its sharp teeth and wanted one to keep as a treasure.He kept the tooth for the next 65 years, but the feeling of guilt at having stolen it was there in the background all through his life. It was always on his conscience, and the feeling intensified as he became older. Finally he decided to put right his childish error. In 20xx, he visited Qingdao and returned it tothe Aquarium with his sincere apologies. He received a warm wele.When James visited Qingdao, I acpanied him all the time and reported on his visit. I was deeply touched by his honesty. It has taught me a lot. I think to err is human. The important thing is to have the courage to admit and correct one’s error.Honesty is a vital quality of human behaviour. So we should try to keep an honest mind in everything we say and do. I would like to say to all of my friends: Let’s be honest people of good moral character.Thank you.带翻译的英文演讲稿篇二Pain past is pleasure.过去的痛苦即快乐。
英文演讲稿范文6篇

英文演讲稿范文6篇演说的实质取决于讲,而不取决于演,它以讲为主导,以演辅助。
下列是我搜集整理的英语演讲稿范文6篇,期待对大伙儿有一定的协助。
英文演讲稿范文(1)Hold Fast To Your DreamsI have a dream today.I have a dream that one day every vally shall be exalted, every hill andmountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crookedplaces will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, andall flesh shall see it together.Wow, what a dream it has been for Martin Luther King. But the changing world seems telling me that people gradually get their dreams lost somehow inthe process of growing up, and sometimes I personally find myself saying goodbyeunconsciously to those distant childhood dreams.However, we meed dreams. They nourish our spirit; they represent possibility even when we are dragged down by reality. They keep us going. Mostsuccessful people are dreamers as well as ordinary people who are not afraid tothink big and dare to be great. When we were little kids, we all dreamed ofdoing something big and splashy, something significant. Now what we need to dois to maintain them, refresh them and turn them into reality. However, the toughest part is that we often have no ideas how to translate these dreams intoactions. Well, just start with concrete objectives and stick to it. Don’t letthe nameless fear confuse the eye and confound our strong belief of future. Through our talents, through our wits, through our endurance and through ourcreativity, we will make it.Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged birdthatcannot fly. Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. So my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. Whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today.英文演讲稿范文(2)Never Give Up“If I could reach higher, just for one moment to touch the sky…”---this isfrom my favorite song Reach.When we are appreciating the passionate melody of Gloria Estefan, we couldhardly imagine that she could return to the stage after her paralysis. In theyear 1990, this Cuban singer was knocked down in a traffic accident, and thedoctor declared that she might never walk again. But Gloria did not give up andkept up constant exercising. Just one year after the disaster, she stood upagain and presented this encouraging song at the Atlanta Olympics.Whenever I think of Gloria, I can’t help recalling my memory seven yearsago, when I first entered university. Naturally shy, ordinary looking, averagescores in study, just like an ugly duckling, I seemed to be the least outstanding one in my class. And the successive failures in the beginning led meinto despair. “Am I destined to take the back seat to others?” Unwilling tosubmit to the fate, I paid more efforts on my study as well as many other activities, film dubbing, recital, drama… cause I just want to catch every little opportunity to prove myself. Constant effort yields sure success. Thanksto the competition, I received some awards and most of all, I gained the courageand confidence to face any difficulties in my life journey.Life is just like farming, and what you can reap depends a lot on your sowing and dedication. Once you have a dream, don’t be hesitant. Your next difficult step may be the one to the top. Keep going forward, even in the toughest time, and never give up.英文演讲稿范文(3)Honourable judges, ladies and gentlemen,Good afternoon! Today I would like to talk about the importance of keepingoptimistic. When we encounter difficulties in life, we notice that some of uschoose to bury their heads in the sand. Unfortunately, however, this attitudewill do you no good, because if you will have no courage even to face them, howcan you conquer them? Thus, be optimistic, ladies and gentlemen, as it can giveyou confidence and help you see yourself through the hard times, just as WinstonChurchill once said, “An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; apessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.”Ladies and Gentlemen, keeping optimistic, you will be able to realize, inspite of some hardship, there’s always hope waiting for you, which will lead youto the ultimate success. Historically as well as currently, there are too manyoptimists of this kind to enumerate. You see, Thomas Edison is optimistic; ifnot, the light of hope in his heart could not illuminate the whole world. AlfredNobel is optimistic; if not, the explosives and the prestigious Nobel Prize would not have come into being. And Lance Armstrong is also optimistic; if not,the devil of cancer would have devoured his life and the world would not see a5-time winner of the Tour De France.A rose may be beautiful, or maybe not; that depends on your attitude only,and so does success, so does life. Hindrances and difficulties do exist, but ifyou are optimistic, then they are only episodes on your long way to the throneof success; they are more bridges than obstacles! Now I prefer to end my speechwith the great British poet Shelley’s lines: “If winter comes, can spring be farbehind?” Thank you!英文演讲稿范文(4)As the song goes “ My future isn’t a dream .” I love the song which bringsme confidence when singing it every time . I believe that all our dreamscancome true if we have courage to pursue them .When I was young my father alwaysasked me what I would be in the future . Sometimes I found it very hard to givea certain reply . “ I want to be a doctor .”“ I want to be a teacher .”and “ I’d like to be a scientist !” Many of these answers are perhaps very childish andridiculous . But I never think they are far away .How time flies! Who is able to give a definition to his future ? I know clearly that those high buildings are based on solid foundation . As a student ,I should have a reasonable aim , and study hard . My goal is to enter the bestuniversity for further study after middle school . I know it’s hard work , and I’ll come across many difficulties and frustrations . But no matter what they are, I’ll keep working on it and never give up . My teacher says there ’s only onekind of people that are truly successful : those who are brave enough to put upwith hardships . Even if I won’t achieve the goal , I have no regrets for what Ihave done , for I have struggled for my life .英文演讲稿范文(5)Can money buy happiness? Different people have different opinions. Somethink yes while others hold the opposite.It is true that with enough money one can buy all the things one wants andlive a life of comfort and security. However it is equally true that lack ofmoney causes great distress. It is a common view that "money is the root of allevil." The pursuit of money drives many people to cheat and steal. In some places there is nothing that cannot be bought with money resulting in corruptsocieties where everybody is miserable.So money does not necessarily mean happiness. It all depends on how it isused. If we make honest and sensible use of money it can be a stepping-stone tohappiness l Although money cannot buy happiness it can make happiness possibleif it is employed sensibly.英文演讲稿范文(6)Dear judges:I am very glad to make a speech here ! Today I'd like to talk something about English.I love English. English language is now used everywhere in the world. Ithas become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. Learning English makes me confident and brings me great pleasure.When I was seven, my mother sent me to an English school. At there, Iplayed games and sang English songs with other kids . Then I discovered thebeauty of the language, and began my colorful dream in the English world.Everyday, I read English following the tapes. Sometimes, I watch Englishcartoons.On the weekend, I often go to the English corner. By talking with differentpeople there, I have made more and more friends as well as improved my oral English.I hope I can travel around the world someday. I want to go to America tovisit Washington Monument, because the president Washington is my idol. Ofcourse, I want to go to London too, because England is where English languagedeveloped. If I can ride my bike in Cambridge university, I will be very happy.I hope I can speak English with everyone in the world. I'll introduce Chinato them, such as the Great Wall, the Forbidden City and Anshan.I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hardstudy, one day I can speak English very well.If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So Ibelieve as I love English everyday , it will love me too.。
全英文演讲稿模板8篇

全英文演讲稿模板8篇全英文演讲稿篇1recently we have held a class meeting to discuss what is considered to behonorable behavior and what is shameful。
(最近我们班开了个班会争论什么是荣耀和耻辱。
)it is really apity to see all this in our school。
(很圆满在学校看到这些现象)some students don’t respecttheir teachers or parents。
(不敬重老是和父母)some don’t take their studies seriously andcheat in exams。
(作业不仔细,考试作弊)some throw wastes everywhere and pollute theenvironment 。
(处处乱扔垃圾污染环境。
)it is honorable to obey the law and rules ,care muchabout our class and study hard。
(关怀班级、努力学习、遵纪守法是荣耀)it is shameful to break schoolrules, to be selfish or to make little effort to achieve success。
(违反学校纪律、自私傲慢是可耻的)we should respect others and think more of them than ofourselves。
(我们就应敬重别人常常关怀别人)we should work hard and make much more progress torepay the society。
(我们就应努力学习取得更大进步从而回报社会。
)we should try our best to keep theenvironment clean。
英语演讲稿带翻译(精彩6篇)

英语演讲稿带翻译(精彩6篇)英语演讲稿带翻译篇一What would you do if you failed?Many people may choose to give up. However,the surest way to success is to keep your direction and stick to your goal.On your way to success,you must keep your direction. It is just like a lamp,guiding you in darkness and helping you overcome obstacles on your way. Otherwise,you will easily get lost or hesitate to go ahead.Direction means objectives. You can get nowhere without an objective in life.You can try to write your objective on paper and make some plans to achieve it. In this way,you will know how to arrange your time and to spend your time properly. And you should also have a belief that you are sure to succeed as long as you keep your direction all the time.翻译:如果失败了你会怎么做?很多人可能会选择放弃。
然而,要想成功,最可靠的方法就是坚持你的方向和目标。
在通往成功的路上,你必须坚持你的方向。
它就像一盏灯,在黑暗中为你指路,帮助你度过难关。
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Every year in the United States alone 2077000 couples make a legal and spiritual decision to spend the rest of their lives together ...( Laughter)and not to have sex with anyone else ever. He buys a ring she buys a dress.They go shopping for all sorts of things. She takes him to Arthur Murray for ballroom dancing lessons. And the big day comes. And they’ll stand before God and family and some guy her dad once did business with and they’ll vow that nothing not abject poverty not life-threatening illness not complete and utter misery will ever put the tiniest damper on their eternal love and devotion.( Laughter )These optimistic young bastards promise to honor and cherish each other through hot flashes and mid-life crises and a cumulative 50-lb. Weight gain until that far-off day when one of them is finally able to rest in peace.You know because they can’t hear the snoring anymore. And then they’ll get stupid drunk and smash cake in each other’s faces and do the Macarena and we’ll be there showering them with towels and toasters and drinking their free booze and throwing birdseed at them every single time -- even though we know statistically half of them will be divorced within a decade.(Laughter )Of course ,the other half won’t, right?They’ll keep forgetting anniversaries and arguing about where to spend holidays and debating which way the toilet paper should come off of the roll. And some of them will even still be enjoying each other’s company when neither of them can chew solid food anymore.And researchers want to know why.I mean look it doesn’t take a double-blind placebo-controlled study to figure out what makes a marriage not work. Disrespect boredom too much time on Facebook having sex with other people. But you can have the exact opposite of all of those things -- respect excitement a broken Internet connection mind-numbing monogamy --and the thing still can go to hell in a hand basket. So what’s going on when it doesn’t What do the folks who make it all the way to side-by-side burial plots have in common What are they doing right What can we learn from them And if you’re still happily sleeping solo why should you stop what you’re doing and make it your life’s work to find that one special person that you can annoy for the rest of your life Well researchers spend billions of your tax dollars trying to figure that out. They stalk blissful couples and they study their every move and mannerism. And they try to pinpoint what it is that sets them apart from their miserable neighbors and friends. And it turns out the success stories share a few similarities actually beyond they don’t have sex with other people. For instance in the happiest marriages the wife is thinner and better looking than the husband. (Laughter ) Obvious right. It’s obvious that this leads to marital bliss because women we care a great deal about being thin and good looking whereasmen mostly care about sex ... ideally with women who are thinner and better looking than they are. The beauty of this research though is that no one is suggesting that women have to be thin to be happy we just have to be thinner than our partners. So instead of all that laborious dieting and exercising we just need to wait for them to get fat maybe bake a few pies. This is good information to have and it’s not that complicated. Research also suggests that the happiest couples are the ones that focus on the positives. For example the happy wife. Instead of pointing out her husband’s growing gut or suggesting he go for a run she might say Wow honey thank you for going out of your way to make me relatively thinner. These are couples who can find good in any situation. Yeah it was devastating when we lost everything in that fire but it’s kind of nice sleeping out here under the stars and it’s a good thing you’ve go tall that body fat to keep us warm. One of my favorite studies found that the more willing a husband is to do house work the more attractive his wife will find him. Because we needed a study to tell us this. But here’s what’s going on here. The more attractive she finds him the more sex they have the more sex they have the nicer he is to her the nicer he is to her the less she nags him about leaving wet towels on the bed-- and ultimately they live happily ever after. In other words men you might want to pick it up a notch in the domestic department. Here’s an interesting one. One study found that people who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce. This is an actual study and let me clarify. The researchers were not looking at documented self-reports of childhood happiness or even studying old journals. The data were based entirely on whether people looked happy in these early pictures. Now I don’t know how old all of you are but when I was a kid your parents took pictures with a special kind of camera that held something called film and by God film was expensive. They didn’t take 300 shots of you in that rapid-fire digital video mode and then pick out the nicest smile yest one for the Christmas card. Oh no.They dressed you up they lined you up and you smiled for the fucking camera like they told you to or you could kiss your birthday party goodbye. But still I have a huge pile of fake happy childhood pictures and I’m glad they make me less likely than some people to get a divorce.So what else can you do to safeguard your marriage Do not win an Oscar for best actress. Laughter I’m serious. Bettie Davis Joan Crawford Hal lie Berry Hillary Swank Sandra Bullock Reese Witherspoon all of them single soon after taking home that statue. They actually call it the Oscar curse. It is the marriage kiss of death and something that should be avoided. And it’s not just successfully starring in films that’s dangerous. It turns out merely watching a romantic comedy causes relationship satisfaction to plummet. Laughter Apparently the bitter realization that maybe it could happen to us but it obviously hasn’t and it probably never will makes ourlives seem unbearably grim in comparison. And theoretically I suppose if we opt for a film where someone gets brutally murdered or dies in afiery car crash we are more likely to walk out of that theater feeling like we’vegot it pretty good. Drinking alcohol it seems is bad for your marriage. Yeah. I can’t tell you anymore about that one because I stopped reading it at the headline. But here’s a scary one: Divorce is contagious. That’s right -- when you have a close couple friend split up it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent. Now I have to say I don’t get this one at all. My husband and I have watched quite a few friends divide their assets and then struggle with being our age and single in an age of sex ting and Viagra and eHarmony. And I’m thinking they’ve done more for my marriage than a lifetime of therapy ever could.So now you may be wondering why does anyone get married ever Well the U.S. federal government counts more than a thousand legal benefits to being someone’s spouse -- a list that includes visitation rights in jail but hopefully you’ll never need that one. But beyond the profound federal perks married people make more money. Were healthier physically and emotionally. We produce happier more stable and more successful kids. We have more sex than our supposedly swinging single friends -- believe it or not. We even live longer which is a pretty compelling argument for marrying someone you like a lot in the first place. Now if you’re not currently experiencing the joy of the joint tax return I can’t tell you how to find a chore-loving person of the approximately ideal size and attractiveness who prefers horror movies and doesn’t have a lot of friends hovering on the brink of divorce but I can only encourage you to try because the benefits as I’ve pointed out are significant.The bottom line is whether you’re in it or you’re searching for it I believe marriage is an institution worth pursuing and protecting. So I hope you’ll use the information I’ve given you today to weigh your personal strengths again styour own risk factors .For instance in my marriage I’d say I’m doing okay. One the one hand I have a husband who’s annoyingly lean and incredibly handsome. So I’m obviously going to need fatten him up. And like I said we have those divorced friends who may secretly or subconsciously be trying to break us up.So we have to keep an eye on that. And we do like a cocktail or two. On the other hand I have the fake happy picture thing. And also my husband does a lot around the house and would happily never see another romantic comedy as long ashe lives. So I’ve got all those things going for me. But just in case I plan to work extra hard to not win an Oscar anytime soon. And for the good of your relationships I would encourage you to do the same.I’ll see you at the bar.(Applause)。