jokes英文幽默笑话
那些出乎意料的笑话英文
那些出乎意料的笑话英文Surprising Jokes in English that Will Catch You Off GuardHumor is a universal language, and jokes have the power to bring joy and laughter to people across cultures. Oftentimes, jokes can catch us off guard and leave us laughing unexpectedly. In this article, we will explore some surprising jokes in English that are sure to make you chuckle.1. The Talking DogA man walks into a bar with his dog and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed when the dog says, "I can talk! Can I have a drink too?" The bartender replies, "Sure, why not?" After giving both the man and the dog their drinks, he asks the dog, "So, what else can you do?" The dog replies, "Well, I can also play the piano!" Skeptical, the bartender tells the man to prove it. Surprisingly, the dog jumps on the piano and starts playing a beautiful tune. Astounded, the bartender exclaims, "Wow, that's incredible! Can your dog also do taxes?" The man replies, "Taxes? Don't be silly, he's not an accountant. He's actually a lawyer!"2. The Forgetful WaiterA customer enters a restaurant and asks the waiter, "Do you have frog legs?" The waiter replies, "Yes, we do." Excited, the customer exclaims, "Great! Then hop into the kitchen and bring me a steak!"3. The Complimentary BagelsTwo friends are having brunch at a café when one of them notices a sign that says, "Complimentary Bagels for the Next Customer!" Curious, he asksthe waitress, "Are the bagels really free?" She nods and says, "Yes, they are." Excited, he turns to his friend and says, "Let's wait for the next customer to arrive and quickly steal their bagels!"4. The Clever ParrotA man walks into a pet store and sees a parrot for sale. The parrot seems quite ordinary until the man notices a sign next to its cage that says, "This parrot can speak four languages and solve complex math problems." Intrigued, the man asks the store owner, "Is it true that this parrot is so intelligent?" The store owner nods and replies, "Yes, it's incredibly smart." Excited, the man asks the parrot, "What's 2+2?" Surprisingly, the parrot remains silent. Frustrated, the man turns to the store owner and says, "You said this parrot could solve math problems!" The parrot interrupts and says, "I'm sorry, I was just pondering if it's 4 or 4.0. Math can be quite abstract, you know."5. The Astonished TouristA tourist visits a famous museum and stumbles upon a statue of a sleeping person. Intrigued, the tourist asks the museum guide, "Is the person in the statue really sleeping?" The guide chuckles and says, "No, not anymore. The museum closes at 5 pm, and she is the security guard!"6. The Talking ClockA man walks into a store and sees a clock that claims it can speak every language. Curious, he sets the clock to French and waits. The clock chimes and says, "C'est l'heure!" Surprised by the clock's accuracy, he sets it to German. The clock chimes and says, "Es ist Zeit!" Amazed, he decides totest it with Chinese. The clock chimes and says, "现在是时间!" Shocked, the man decides to try one last language, English. The clock chimes and says, "The time is..."And there you have it – a collection of surprising jokes in English that will catch you off guard and bring a smile to your face. No matter the language, humor has the power to bring people together and brighten their day. So, next time you hear a joke, be prepared to laugh unexpectedly!。
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄笑话(jokes)往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
店铺整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一Wow!That's a Big One!哇!那个真是大得吓人One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。
”Then, an armadillo ran past the door.那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，and he asked the location of the bathroom.他问哪里有洗手间。
简短英语笑话带翻译
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
Translation:
一堵墙对另一堵墙说了什么？
“我会在拐角处等你！”
Joke 5:
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
She gave me a hug.
Translation:
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误。
她给了我一个拥抱。
Joke 9:
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Translation:
我过去用耳朵弹钢琴，但现在我用手。
Joke 10:
It was two-tired.
Translation:
为什么自行车自己站不起来？
因为它太累了。
Joke 6:
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time no sea.
Translation:
当潮水涨上来时，海滩说了什么？
好久不见。
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.
I just can't seem to put it down.
Translation:
我正在读一本关于胶水历史的书。
我似乎就是放不下它。
ห้องสมุดไป่ตู้以上是一些简短有趣的英语笑话，希望能给你带来一些快乐！
Title: Short English Jokes with Translation
英文笑话带翻译简短
6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Translation: 一个人手里拿着一块沥青走进酒吧，然后说：“一杯啤酒，还有一杯要打包走。”
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Translation: 为什么稻草人获得了奖项？因为他在他的领域里表现出色。（这个笑话利用了outstanding的双关语，既指出色的也指在田野上）
英语笑话精选 Dirty Jokes 1-5
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
Dirty Jokes 1 (2013.3.29)
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
英语笑话带翻译范文
英语笑话带翻译范文1. Joke: Why did the scarecrow win an award?Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field!Translation: 为什么稻草人获得了奖项？因为他在他的领域表现出色！2. Joke: Why don't skeletons fight each other?Answer: They don't have the guts!Translation: 为什么骷髅不互相打架？因为它们没有胆量！3. Joke: How does a penguin build its house?Answer: Igloos it together!Translation: 企鹅是如何建造它的房子的？用冰块把它粘在一起！4. Joke: What do you call a bear with no teeth?Answer: A gummy bear!Translation: 没有牙齿的熊叫什么？果冻熊！5. Joke: Why don't eggs tell jokes?Answer: Because they might crack up!Translation: 为什么鸡蛋不讲笑话？因为它们可能会笑破肚皮！6. Joke: How do you organize a space party?Answer: You planet!Translation: 你如何组织太空派对？你把星球放在那儿！7. Joke: Why don't scientists trust atoms?Answer: Because they make up everything!Translation: 为什么科学家不相信原子？因为它们构成了一切！8. Joke: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? Answer: An abdominal snowman!Translation: 一个有六块腹肌的雪人叫什么？腹肌雪人！9. Joke: What did one wall say to the other wall?Answer: I'll meet you at the corner!Translation: 一个墙对另一个墙说了什么？我们在角落见！10. Joke: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?Answer: Because then they would be bagels!Translation: 海鸥为什么不飞过海湾？因为那样它们就成了贝果！11. Joke: What do you call a bear without any ears? Answer: B!Translation: 没有耳朵的熊叫什么？B！12. Joke: What did zero say to eight?Answer: Nice belt!Translation: 零对八说了什么？漂亮的腰带！13. Joke: How do you make a tissue dance?Answer: You put a little boogie in it!Translation: 如何让纸巾跳舞？装点点动作！14. Joke: Why was the math book sad?Answer: Because it had too many problems!Translation: 数学书为什么伤心？因为它有太多问题！Answer: It left its Windows open!Translation: 电脑为什么冷？因为它忘记关掉窗口！这些英语笑话可以为大家带来一些轻松愉快的时刻。
English_Jokes_英语笑话
English Jokes[美]Marshall’s Talent Education, LLC. 龚珍妮 编译英语笑话An English teacher is giving a lesson to his students. He asks his students a question, “What is the most common word used by students in a classroom?”The whole class is silent. It seems that none of them can answer such a difficult question. Suddenly a boy student stands up and says, “Can’t, Sir!”“Smart! You are right. Please sit down,” says the teacher.一位英语老师正在给他的学生上课。
他问学生一个问题：“学生在教室里最常用的词是什么？”全班学生都安静了下来。
看来，他们谁也回答不了这么难的一个问题。
突然，一个男生站了起来，说道：“不会，先生！”“聪明！你回答正确。
请坐下。
”老师说。
give a lesson to给……上课the most common最常见的common adj. 常见的used by …被……使用 whole adj.全部的；整个的whole class 全班seem v.似乎；看上去suddenly adv.突然Notes:不会1. Can’tA maths teacher is giving a lesson to her students. She asks, “How can you make the number seven to an even number?”Wood stands up and says loudly, “Just take the ‘s’ out from it!”At this, all the others laugh and laugh.一位数学老师正在给她的学生上课。
英语笑话 English Jokes
English Jokes1，Money is not everything, because there is mastercard and visa sometimes.钱不是万能的，有时候还需要信用卡。
2，A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."3，Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they seetheir last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"4，Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
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What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out flaming ducks.
Guy in a library walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”Librarian responds, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Lady sits down on a train. Man sitting next to her turns to her and says, “Lady, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen. That baby looks in a mirror, it’s going to shatter. You oughta put a bag on that baby’s head. That baby is just ugly.”
The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. “Conduc tor, this man has insulted me.”
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” the conductor replies. “What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We’ll give you a nice seat in the first-class carriage — and a b anana for your monkey.”
Why did Tiger stick his head in the toilet?
Because he is looking for pooh.
There are two muffins in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other muffin and says,
“Boy, it’s hot in here.”
The other muffin sa ys, “OH MY GOD A TALKING
MUFFIN!”
What did one eye say to the other eye?
Don’t look now, but something between us smells.
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting —don’t talk about things like that
over dinner,” the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you
want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your
soup, but now it’s gone.”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “W ell, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”。