八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!===================================================================斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！②The Revenge 欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"===================================================================老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话笑话一：一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上，看到窗户上写着：“免费学习英语，从零开始。
”于是，它翘起了尾巴，挺起了胸脯，然后大声地说道：“Polly wants a cracker!”（小鹦鹉想要个饼干!）这时，里面的老师听到了声音，走过来看窗户，发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说：“你来这里学习英语吗？”鸟点点头。
老师继续说：“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗？”鸟听后想了一下，然后顺利地说道：“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”（早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明！）老师忍不住惊讶地说：“哇，你的英语真是棒极了！你是怎么学会的？”鸟笑着回答：“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”（嗯，其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语！）笑话二：失踪的手机一天晚上，一位英国中学生在回家的路上，不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了，已经回到家了，于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说：“别担心，我帮你打个电话，看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话，手机立刻就响了起来，但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说：“嗨，我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗？”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音：“是的，我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗？”爸爸回答：“是的，我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问：“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗？我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢！”笑话三：英语课上的问题一天在英语课上，老师问学生们一个问题：“如果今天是过去的昨天，明天是过去的明天，那么今天是星期几？”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思，似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时，一个学生举手回答道：“老师，今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他：“为什么你认为今天是星期二？”学生回答：“因为我们是星期一上的英语课！”笑话四：一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起，开始聊天。
简短的英语笑话带翻译
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
有趣的英文笑话
有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中，适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话，能够很好地放松我们生活的压力，下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话，希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1：A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。
“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。
”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
有趣的英文笑话2：On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上，我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」英语笑话（五）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】篇一：英文幽默笑话1.猫和老鼠——Mrs Brown went tovisit one of her friend andcarried a small box withholes punched in the top.——“ What's in yourbox?" asked the friend.——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。
“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。
这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。
”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。
”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。
”布朗夫人小声说道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸A guy I know wastowing his boat homefrom a fishing trip to LakeHuron when his car brokedown. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be abletoraise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。
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八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话
笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的知识。
下面是小编整理的八年级好笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇一
The Mean Man’s Party
The notorious(声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小气鬼) finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部，扶手) . When the door open, push with your foot.
Why use my elbow and foot?
Well, gosh, was the reply, You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?
吝啬鬼的聚会
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。
门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。
为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?
天哪!吝啬鬼说，难道你还能空着手来吗?
能吗?
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇二
Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.
Did you miss a step? asked his dad.
No, I caught every blessed one! came the bitter answered.
布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。
他跳了起来，跑到厅里，发现自己上了学的儿子四角朝天地躺在地上。
你是不是踩漏了一级台阶?爸爸问。
不，我每一级都撞上了，一级也没有漏掉!儿子痛苦地回答。
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇三
Customer: These shoes are much too narrow and pointed.
Shoes Cleark: That's what they' re wearing this season.
Customer: Perhaps so,but I'm still wearing last season'feet.
Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.
你的咳嗽今天听上去好点了
病人：应该是好点了。
昨晚我练了一个晚上。
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇四
Teacher:How old is your father?老师：你爸爸多大了?
Sunny:As old as i am.Sunny:和我一样大.
Teacher:How is it possible 老师：这怎么可能呢?
Sunny:He became father only after i born.Sunny:他在我出生后才变成父亲的.
八年级好笑的英语笑话篇五
One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word Dady to teach their baby.
During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry Dady. His wife said to him, Darling, she is calling you. Then she turned to sleep.
选词
一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，嘴里反复念道：爸-爸。
约翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子选择了爸爸这个词首先教孩子。
几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，爸-爸!她在叫你，亲爱的。
妻子说，然后翻身竟自睡了。
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5.20个英语笑话爆笑超短感谢您的阅读！。