查理日记 第一季第二集集 英文台词

11Teddy: Hi, charlie. Teddy here. So right now 2you're nine months old and everything is 3going great.4Well, almost everything(好吧，几乎一切都好). 5Now what I'm about to show you is kind of 6disturbing, So brace yourself(哦，做好心理准备). 7Mom:Mmm, these sandwiches will be yummy 8wummy.9Dad: Yes, they will, yes, they will.10Teddy: Mom and dad have been talking like 11that ever since you arrived. And if it's not over 12soon, I'm gonna go crazy wazy.13Gabe: P.J.!14PJ: What?15Gabe: What are you listening to?16PJ: I downloaded a podcast on the history of 17ballet.18Gabe: You like that?19PJ: More than baby talk.20Mom: Would you like some fishy wishies with 21your cookie wookie?22Dad: Yes, I would, yes, I would.23Teddy: Wait, guys, charlie isn't even here.24Mom: No, widdle baby take a nappy wappy 25upstairs.26Teddy: So why are you guys still talking like 27that?28Dad: I don't "weawy" know(我一点都不知道).29Mom: I guess we're just kinda fried.30Dad: Well, we work all day, take care of a baby 31all night.Work shift, baby shift-- I've barely got 32time to make doo-doo(解手).33Teddy: Well, when was t last time you guys 34had a night out? You know, like just the two of 35you-- like a date?36Dad: Teddy made a funny.37Mom:A funny wunny(好好笑的玩笑).38Teddy: Seriously! You know what? It's 39Saturday night. You two, you go out, have fun, 40And do something besides work, take care of 41the baby and make doo-doo.42Teddy:Well, it's nice to dream, but who's 43gonna take care of charlie?(我求之不得...)44 Teddy: Hello! You've got three great45babysitters right here.46PJ: I'm glad I didn't hear that.47Mom: I don't know, teddy. It's really nice 48thought, But we're really not ready to go out 49without charlie just yet.50Gabe: You guys want to see a magic trick?51Mom:Sure!52Dad: Okay.53Gabe: Prepare to be amazed(见证奇迹的时刻).54Mom: I could use a night out.55[rock music playing ]56day's all burnt toast57running late, and dad says58has anybody seen my left shoe?59I close my eyes, take a bite60grab a ride, laugh out loud61there it is up on the roof62I've been there, I've survived63so just take my advice64hang in there, baby, things are crazy65but I know your future's bright66hang in there, baby67there's no maybe68everything turns out all right69your life is up and down70but trust me, it comes back around71you're gonna love who you turn out to be(你72将会喜欢未来的你)73hang in there, baby.(宝贝，不要放弃)74275Teddy: All right, you guys have fun. Stay out as 76late as you want.77But not too much fun-- we have enough kids 78already. I'm serious.79Mom: Okay, everyone, be good, have fun, 80love you.81Both(PJ n` Gabe): Yeah yeah.82Mom: All right.83Dad: Hey, teddy, thanks for doing this. It's 84gonna be nice for your mom and I to have 85some special time together.86Mom: Bob, move your butt!87Dad: I'm coming!88Teddy: All right, so we divide it up evenly,89We each get to spend an hour with charlie. 90Who wants to go first?91Gabe: I think you should go first.92PJ: And second and third, since this was your 93idea.94Teddy: Hey, I'm not doing this all by myself.95You guys have to help out.96PJ: Fine. I'll go fourth.97Teddy: There is no fourth.98PJ: I meant I shall go forth to the park to shoot 99some hoop.100Teddy: You want to go to the park so badly, 101Then why don't you just take Charlie?102PJ: What's a baby supposed to do at the park? 103Teddy: Babies love parks. You can show her 104the duck pond(鸭池),the blue sky, clouds.105PJ: We're just gonna look at stuff? That's what 106tv is for.1073108P.J : Yeah heh hah, all right!109This is great. Whee!110Yes, whoo!111What are you looking at? I was here first. 112Hey, you can ride that duck.113I couldn't ride the duck. I'd look silly on the 114duck.115Fine.116Hey there, charlie. Are we having fun yet? 117All right.118A: Man, you seen a kid's birthday party 119around here anywhere?120I'm the entertainment.121PJ: I saw a bounce house on the other end of 122the park.123A: A bouncy house, eh? Great.124Another trip to the e.R.125PJ: Who are you supposed to be anyway? 126A: Plastic man, rubber man?127A: No, those are all registered trademarks. 128I'm captain stretchy.129There used to be a "cs" here, but it came off 130in the wash.131PJ: So what's your super power?132 A: Super elasticity.133Hey, look, there's a quarter.134Eh! ( mutters )135Ah, forget it.136Not like it's a dollar, right?1374138PJ: Hi.139Emma: Hi.140PJ: Oh, yeah, I like your taste in strollers.141Emma: Thanks, you too.142Oh, wow,143That baby's so cute.144PJ: You too.145Oh, I mean yours too.146Emma: I'm emma.147PJ: I'm p.J.148Who's this little guy?149Emma: My brother. We're just out for our 150stroll(我们就是出来散步). We do this every day. 151PJ: Us too. Like I always say, babies love parks. 152Would you like to sit for a bit?153Emma: Sure(好啊).154So I saw you talking to captain stretchy earlier. 155PJ: Oh, yeah, he was lost(他迷路了).156Not much of a superhero, right?157Emma: Oh, he's the worst.We hired him for 158my brother's birthday party. And he sat on the 159cake.160PJ: That sounds awful.161Emma:Oh, it gets worse(噢，这还不是最悲剧的). 162The candles were lit, so he sat in the punch. 163PJ:That is so weird(那太古怪了).164I mean he looks like such a quality entertainer. 165Emma: You know, p.J., I'm really impressed 166that you take your baby sister to the park. 167My brothers would never do anything like 168that.169PJ: I hope not. She is my sister.1705171Gabe: Now watch closely. In this hand I have a 172quarter.And in the other, an ordinary egg. 173Now I put them in this hat, spin them around 174a little. And presto.175Teddy: Just out of curiosity(好奇地问一句), 176What was supposed to happen?177PJ: I love this baby.178Anytime she wants to go to the park, sign me 179up(找我).180Teddy: What happened to you?181PJ: Let's just say charlie made a friend, p.J. 182Made a friend.183Teddy:Oh-- and did either you or your friend 184bother to change a diaper?185PJ: There's no time for that. I was too busy 186talking to Emma.187Teddy: Who's Emma?188PJ: A vision(梦中情人),an angel, the girl who's 189moved into my heart.190Gabe: Did you tell her about the vacancy in 191your brain?192Teddy: P.J.?193PJ: What?194Teddy: You brought home the wrong baby. 195PJ: What? I did not.196Teddy: Take a look! Wrong parts(你自己看！生197理机构不对).198Gabe:There's nothing wrong with those parts. 1996200Teddy: How could you bring home the wrong 201baby?202PJ:I'm sorry. I got a little distracted.203Emma is really cute.204Teddy: Yeah, well, so was our sister.205Teddy: Come on, let's go to the park and find 206her.207PJ:Relax! I got her number.208Teddy:Then what are you waiting for? Call her. 209PJ: Wait a second.Is it too soon?210If I call now, she'll think I'm desperate.211Teddy: Oh, you are desperate.212PJ: Good point(说得好).213Hello, is Emma there?214This is a Chinese restaurant?215Sure, I'll hear the specials(给我介绍下特色菜). 216Teddy: She gave you the wrong number. - 217Gabe: Who couldn't see that one coming?(纯218属意料之中)219PJ: But I gave her gum and helped her change 220 a poopy diaper.It was so romantic.221Teddy: Well, what do we do now?222( cell phone ringing )223Teddy:Oh no!224Hi mom, what up?(有事吗？)225Yeah, everything's going great. Why wouldn't 226it be?(为什么会不好呢？)227We're just having a grand old time here with-- 228Baby.229Yeah, sure you can talk to him. Her her!230Talk to mommy.231Ooh-ooh ee ahh-ahh.232What do you mean that didn't sound like 233charlie?234What, do you just think I'm making baby 235noises into the phone?236Mom, that's crazy.237Teddy: All right, bye. Say bye, Charlie.238Ooh ahh-ahh-ahh.239PJ: Not that I'm in the position to criticize, 240But I was getting more monkey(但是我变得更241加不知所措了).242Teddy: Come on, let's go to the park.243Gabe: And meet the girl who blew off p.J.? 244I'm there(去定了).2457246PJ:I don't see her.247Teddy:P.J., what did she look like?(她长什么样) 248PJ: She was hot, but what does it matter? 249Gabe: Maybe we should call someone. Who 250do you call when you search a baby?251PJ: Captain stretchy!252Teddy: What is that?253PJ: You're still here?254A: Every Saturday and Sunday all day long. 255Stay in school, kids(回学校吧，孩子们).256PJ: Just the guy we needed to see.257I think you can help us.258A: Hey, kid, I'm just an entertainer.259I can't get mommy and daddy back 260together(我不能让你爸妈破镜重圆).261PJ: No, you don't understand. I was talking to 262a girl here earlier, And she said that you 263worked a party for her brother.264A: So? I work lots of parties.265PJ: Where was the party where you fell on the 266cake?267A: You got three hours?(你们听我讲三个小时吗) 268Teddy: This is really important. We need to 269find her.270A: Interesting situation. You kids need info, 271And I need a mirdle.272PJ: What is a mirdle?273A: That's a man girdle. And they ain't cheap. 274Teddy:Yeah,neither is dry cleaning, 275apparently(显然干洗也不便宜).276PJ: Her name's Emma. Did she come back to 277the park?278A: Well, maybe she did.And maybe she didn't. 279PJ: Stop rubbing your fingers together and 280answer my question.281Gabe: He wants a bribe(他想要点好处).282PJ: I can't believe it.283Here.284A: Here's what I know: Her name is emma. 285PJ: I just told you that.286A: I didn't say the information was fresh.287Yeah, I know the girl.288She comes from a big family-- seven, eight 289kids.290For them I've been...291Astronaut pete, cowboy bob...292Gabe: Magic Marv?293A: Yeah! You're familiar with my work.294Gabe: Yeah, and it stinks.295I'm just starting off. And I'm a better magician 296than you are.297A: Oh yeah?298You think this is easy, huh? Here.299Turn that into a schnauzer.300You can't do it, huh?301Maybe it's because you don't have the chops! 302Teddy: Well, stretchy, do you know where she 303lives?304A: Yeah, around here somewhere.305I'd know it if I saw it.306Teddy: Great! Now you help us tonight and 307we'll get you into that mirdle tomorrow.308 Oh, and you understand we're not actually309Gonna put you into it? That you have to do by 310yourself.311A: Yeah, I get it.312Teddy: All right, come on, guys, we have to go 313find her.314A: Uh, hey-- captain stretchy, away!315PJ: Truck's this way.316A: Oh, okay.3178318Dad: Order whatever you want, honey. I get a 319discount here.This place is one of my best 320customers.321Mom: Not what you want to hear from an 322exterminator.323( baby cries )324Mom: oh, look at that.325Dad: Oh, fajitas.326Mom: Not that, the baby.327A little baby in a stroller just like ours.328Dad: Yeah, okay, honey, this is supposed to be 329a night away from the baby.330So let's come back.331Mom:Okay okay, I'm back.I'm back. Just gotta 332run to the ladies' room(我得先去趟洗手间). 333Dad:Oh oh, hey, listen, while you're in there, 334Could you check the traps?335Mom:Hola(你们好，).336Adios(再见).337Bob, will you go over and look at that baby? 338I think it's Charlie.339Dad: What?!340Mom: You heard me, that is Charlie!341Dad: Sweetheart, would you sit down, please? 342Mom: I will not sit down. A mother knows her 343own baby and that is my baby.344Dad: Honey, seriously, what do you think 345happened here?346In the last hour somebody went over to our 347house,borrowed our baby then brought her 348out for chips and guac?349Mom: I don't know, it's a big family.350Maybe that's how they get their babies.351Dad: Sweetheart,352I think you're just missing Charlie.353And you're having a little separation anxiety. 354Mom:Oh, okay. You're right.355Crazy wazy(太疯狂了).356Mom:I mean, that isn't possible, right?357Dad: Exactly(没错).358Mom: I'm just going to go to the ladies' room 359one more time.360Dad: Sit down. Now let's enjoy the rest of our 361night out at this very lovely restaurant.Okay? 362Mom: Okay.363Dad: I'm needed in the kitchen.3649365- Charlie! - Emma!366- Charlie! - Emma!367- Marco! - Polo.368Teddy: Gabe, not helping.369Stretchy, is any of this looking familiar?370A: Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.371Teddy: You are not getting any more money. 372A: No, I have night blindness.373All I'm seeing is shapes(我依稀看见的只是轮廓). 374Teddy: Why didn't you mention that earlier? - 375I needed a ride home(我需要搭个顺风车).376A: Stop here.377Oh, great. Mom's up.378Maybe I'll just hang with you kids.379Teddy: Captain stretchy, away.380PJ:Good night, stretchy.381Gabe: Good night, stretchy.382A: Good night.383Gabe: Now what?384PJ: We didn't hit the streets on the north end 385of the park.386Teddy: P.J., we can't keep driving around all 387night.It's over. We have to tell mom and dad. 388PJ: But-- -389Teddy: no, it'll be okay. They know what to do. 390They always do.391PJ: How am I gonna tell them I lost our baby 392sister? I'm the oldest. They're gonna think I'm 393the most responsible.394Teddy: P.J., if it makes you feel any better, 395Nobody thinks that.396 PJ: Why do I always mess everything up?397Teddy: You know what? This could have 398happened to any of us.399All right, probably most likely you, but--400This one, we're all in it together.(这一次，我们401会共同承担责任的)402PJ: Thanks.403Gabe:Hey, look, Captain stretchy dropped his 404driver's license.405175 lbs, my butt!40610407PJ: There they are.408Teddy: All right, let's get this over with.409PJ: Do you think it would be better or worse if 410we had the mariachi deliver the news?411Teddy: If it's in spanish, probably better.412PJ: Wait, I don't believe it.413That's emma.414Teddy: So that's charlie.415PJ: Yes! Oh, we're saved.416Gabe: Not quite(还不一定呢).417Mom:Hey, kids.418PJ: What now?419Teddy: I'll let you know when I think of it. 420Mom, dad, hi.421Mom: Hi.422Dad: What are you doing here?423Teddy:We just realized you must be missing 424Charlie, so we brought her.425Mom: Oh, Teddy, you're not fooling me.426Teddy: I'm not?(我露馅了？)427Mom: Nope.(没错)You spent a little too much 428time with Charlie. And you're ready to hand 429her over early.430Teddy: Well, I wouldn't say too much time. 431Mom: Well, I am ready too, so let me at her. 432Teddy: Gimme gimme gimme. - Mom, mom, 433mom. You're on a date. Let me bring her to 434you.435Gabe:Here? Wait, now?Well, all right.436- Hey, mom. - Hi, baby.437- Hey. - Hey, dad.438- Something I want to show you.439Mom: What is it, honey?440( "william tell overture" playing )441Gabe: And now for my next trick,442I'm gonna make a boy disappear.443PJ: You know, you should be ashamed of 444yourself.You lead a guy on, make him think 445you have a connection(你勾引一个男孩，让他以446为你们之间心有灵犀),447And you give him a fake phone number.448Emma: You put it in wrong. That three is 449supposed to be a two.450PJ: Oh, my bad.451So...452You wanna get a table?(想一起吃个晚饭吗？) 453Mom: My widdle baby, did you miss your 454mommy and daddy?455Dad: Yes, she did. Yes, she did.456Teddy: Oh, I never thought I'd be so happy to 457hear baby talk.458Mom: Teddy, this isn't Charlie's binky(奶嘴). 459Where did you get this?460Teddy: Oh, well, that's actually a really funny 461story. See, what happened was-- -462( music playing loudly )463Too loud. Tell you later.46411465Teddy: Yeah!Well, Charlie, now you're home 466safe and sound. And everything turned out 467okay.468For you(对你来说是没事了).469It would have been okay for us too, but when 470we got home,Mom started asking all these 471questions.And no one really had an answer to 472the pee stains in the living room.473Mom: And that's when the truth came out 474and all the kids got into trouble.475So the lesson is if you ever try to pull anything 476over on mom(做了坏事还想瞒你妈妈),477Good luck, Charlie.478Teddy: Couldn't have said it better myself. 47912480Gabe:In this hand I have a quarter.481And in the other hand, an ordinary egg.482Now I put them in this hat,483Spin them around and...484 Presto! Now hold out your hand.485A: Wow, that's a great trick.486How'd you do that?487Gabe: Interesting situation.488It seems you need information,489Meanwhile I need a new video game.490What a chump(真是个呆子).491A:Who you calling a chump? Hey, get back 492here.493。