摩登家庭 -第5季第22集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
摩登家庭 -第5季第2集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Traditional "First day of school" Pancakes.- Whipped-cream smile? - Dad, I'm in high school now. Just put it in my mouth.Okay, that's disgusting. Stop it.Hey, save some of that bossing people aroundfor the office, lady.After a 20-year vacation,Claire is rejoining the work force.Not a vacation.But I am starting a job at my dad's closet company.He's kind of grooming me to take over.I have a background in marketing.I'm so proud of her.Oh, uh, speaking of marketing -- we're out of milk.I'm actually kind of nervous.You're gonna be great.And remember, if you get into a jam,just do the impression I taught you.Hey. You can hang your clothes in me.Christopher walk-in closet.I'm not doing that.Okay, relax, mom. You're working for grandpa.It's not even a real job.It's like that summer when I worked for dad.He was just trying to make me feel good about myself. He didn't really need my help.That's not true.I needed your help distributing all those fliers.And I did. Wink, wink.How are you already doing homework?It's junior year. I have to get good grades.Don't you know how competitive it is out there?Stop pressuring me!You know, this is what happens to kidswhen they're not sexually active.Don't you have some studying to do?Please, it's community college.They tell you to bring a glue stick.Hello.Yes, this is he -- him -- me.Right the first time.I'll be right there.Mitchell, that was it.That was the call. I'm going in.Due to budget cuts, my position as middle-school music teacher has been eliminated,So I've been working as a high-school sub.Ka-ching!I never know when I'll be summoned to swoop into action.I'm kind of like batman.But except for a bat-signal, I get a phone call.Yeah, you found the one difference.I hate to miss her first day,but do you mind taking Lily to school?Oh, Cam, today?I got to prep for my meeting with Charlie.I only get him for an hourbetween his vacations in Aspen and Cabo.Okay, you need to confront himand tell him his pathetic little midlife crisisis making it impossible for you to do your job.Because he responds so well to criticism.No, he'll fire me, and then we'll end uphaving to get married in your family's barn.Oh, well, we need to book that soonbecause spring is hoedown season,And then you get right into summer stock, so...I don't believe any of that.All right, if I'm gonna take Lily, I need to hurry.Lily, sweetheart, let's get you dressed.Hey, I've been dressed for an hour.Come on, I can't be late. I'll fall behind.Sometimes I forget to factor in the Asian.Buddy, I know a new school can be scary,so a little advice --Every time you meet someone new, pay them a compliment. Like, um, "I love your hair.""Awesome kicks." "You have a beautiful smile."Okay, dad, I'll tell that big guy over therethat he's got a beautiful smile.Fine. Skin, cheekbones, make it your own.Um, could you maybe not walk me all the way in? What?I've got it from here.Sure. Yeah. Okay. Give your dad a --Off you go. Alex!Ay, Manny, why are you so quiet?Are you nervous because of your first day in high school? Mom, after spending a summer in Colombia,I'm a changed man.Oh, my God, what did you see?!Nothing,but I am an international jet-setter now.I'm sophisticated.And you think that the girls are gonna pick up on this?If not, I still have my "Unaccompanied minor" Sign. Ay, I cannot believethat my little baby's going to the high school.Mom, stop. You're embarrassing me.It's my first day, too. I could use a hug.Go!- Hey, Gloria. - Hi, Phil.First day of high school, huh?Is Manny excited?Ay, he was up at 5:00 in the morning, ironing.Ay, but he does that, too, when he's depressed,so now I don't know.How was Luke?Great. Yeah, he had a hard time saying goodbye.But, um, anyway, I think I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee. - Can I go with you? - Yeah.Dude, I'm kind of working something here.How many trucks would that take?Give me a minute, Fred.New girl just walked in.That's disgusting. She's my daughter.Sweetheart, you look terrific.Are you sure?'cause I have another blouse in -- in here.It's the only thing in here, that and a pair of glassesIn case I need to read something or look smarter. Relax.It's your first day.Impossible to blow it. What are those?Oh, cookies -- I made them for the office.Huge mistake. Fred, two more seconds.I got a situation here. Put the cookies down.- Why? - You're management.Makes you look desperate.Makes you look like you want everyone to like you.I do want everyone to like me.You want everyone to respect you.You got to be tough. Keep your distance.Well, maybe we are different kinds of managers. Yeah, I'm yours. Just leave the cookies.Look at you, my big first-grader.All right, I want you to make so many friendsand have so much fun.Got to go! I can't wait to learn!- Be careful! - What?Nothing.Please do not be late. Let's go. Looking good.Uh, uh, Principal Brown?- Yes. - Hi. I'm Cameron Tucker.I was called in to sub today.Oh, yeah, you're in for Mrs. Hurley. Hello.- Hello. - She has come down with a sudden case of rehab. So do a good job'cause this could be a permanent position.Well, prepare to feel like an old denim vestbecause I'm about to "Be-dazzling" You.I don't know what that means, but okay.So, what am I teaching?A.P. History.I desperately wanted that job.There was just one problem --I don't know much about history.Do you know much biology?Not now, Mitchell.What about your science book or the French you took? You're lucky I love you.And I know that if you love me, too...*What a wonderful world this would beI really was in a jam, though.My dad thinks that he can motivate his workersby being a cold, distant authority figure.Well, if his style is so effective, riddle me this --why didn't I listen to him?Hey.Hi. Sorry. I'm Claire.It's my first day, so I thought I'd say hi.- Oh. Hey. - Amazing.You guys are actually hanging out by the water cooler.I have xerostomia. It's chronic dry mouth.I'm -- I'm so sorry.I-I-I-I was just doin' a thang, you know, like... Anyway,My door's always open... to everyone.That's Pritchett's daughter.Um, yeah, but I don't want you to think of me like that. I'm -- I'm a friend. I'm a colleague.I'm just like you.I'm Claire, you know -- worker bee, just...Great to meet you.Sorry to interrupt, and see you around.I do -- I got to do this one.Who am I?You can hang your clothes in me.Christopher walk-in closet.What is this?Oh, sorry, folks. It's closed. We're shooting a commercial. So annoying.Listen, we just want to get a cup of coffee.Actually, we're short a couple of extras.How would you two like to be in it?- Yes! - That sounds amazing.Hey, um, I see a couple of old people.This isn't one of those catheter commercials, is it?'Cause if it gets too descriptive,I'm gonna squirm.I just did it to myself.I did my best to cram for my lectureon the revolutionary war, but, ugh.All those names and dates -- it's all so dry.Where's the drama?Where's the drama?Good morrow!Oh, boy.Oh, what is all this strange garb you adorn?Are you trappers from the Canadian provinces?Are you here to sell your beavers?Who are you?The 64-pence question.The 64-pence question.I crossed the Delaware during the Revolutionary War.I spent a brutal winter in Valley Forge.Who am I?I-I have no idea.I-I swear I don't know who this man is.I'm George Washington, of course.Our syllabus says we're supposed to coverNative Americans on the eve of colonization.Yes. Native Americans. Indians!A majestic, peaceful people,who lived off the land and cried when they saw litter. The textbook says many tribes were often at war, with allegiances shifting all of the ti--Shifting all the time!So, were the Indians friends with the Colonists or not? Ah! Yes.I know one Indianwho was friends with a construction worker, biker, and traffic cop.Uh, do y-- nothing?Seriously, nothing?Okay, your parents are gonna love that joke.Okay, Pritchett, I'm here. You got a half-hour.I have my helicopter standing by on the roof.Is it even built for that?No. That's why you only have a half-hour.Well, I'm not sure that's gonna be enough time.We have a ton to cover.We need to talk about new lease agreementsand the workers' comp package.29 minutes. I think I hear creaking.Daddy, I'm bored.Me, too.This is why I shouldn't come into work between vacations. Why don't you sit at Natalie's deskand pretend to be my assistant, sweetie?Sorry about that. My niece is coming to pick her up.Lily had an incident at school today where she --Hey, Pritchett,you're not some hot single mom i'm trying to seduce,so I don't need to hear about your kid.Fair enough. So, lease agreements.Okay, I'm getting some push-back on the Miami location. Mr. Pritchett, I have a Haley here to see you.Oh. Okay.Hi, sweetheart.I'm in the middle of a meeting with my boss,but thank you so much for helping me out.No problem.My last class is a pass/fail.And it's community college, so it's pass.Hi. Charlie Bingham.Look at your eyes.Oh. I-I can't.I like you.What do you think of these pants?It's part of our new collection.It's, uh, a lot of zippers.It's too many, right?And they poke into my thigh when I'm in my helicopter.'Cause I have a helicopter. It's not a big deal.Okay, so, anyway, thank you.You seem to know a lot about fashion.I'd like to get your opinion on a few things.- Sure. - Yeah?- Yeah. - Actually, no, she -- she needs to stay and watch Lily. Yeah, you can do that.Hey, princess. Hey.I love kids.Daddy's office.You sound like a little girl.Hey, you wanted to see me?Thanks for "Bzzzing" By.I hope you weren't in the middle of a "Thang."Okay, that did get a little away from me.But to be fair, I broke the ice.Everybody thinks you're a dummy.Not everybody. No, as a matter of fact,One of the guys in the break room asked me to lunch.- His name is Todd. - Don't say Todd.Oh, no.You cannot go to lunch with Todd.Why not?You can't be associated with him.Up until an hour ago,he was the office weirdo.But he was nice to me,And he helped me set up my computer.Yeah, that's his job. For now.What does that mean?I'm firing him as soon as I can find an I.T. Guywho shows up on timeand doesn't creep out the office.I can't cancel on the one person who was nice to me.You can, but you won't,'cause you're the type of person who brings cookies to the office. Where are they?Okay, we're done here.Okay, folks, you're just having a normal conversation,a typical day in a coffee shop, all right?Roger that.Here we go, guys.And...action!How have you been, Roy?Ah, a little down.Helen and I really miss the kids,But we just can't afford to visit them right now.- Have you considered a reverse mortgage? - What's that?- You have equity in your home, right? - This coffee is delicious! All right, you two in the back, we can hear you,So just mime your conversation.Mime -- mime -- I knew that.I was already doing that, so just follow my lead.Okay, sorry, sorry. We'll do it again.But everything else is okay?You haven't done anything else.- So, yeah? - Back to one, guys.Action.How have you been, Roy?Ah, a little down.Helen and I really miss the kids,But we just can't afford to visit them right now.- Have you considered a reverse mortgage? - What's that?You have equity in your home, right?- Sure, we do. - What are they doing?Is she answering an imaginary phone?Oh, that sounds too good to be true.Don't take my word for it.Here's Henry Winkler to tell you more.Okay, cut.Couple in the back.Yep. No, I know. I know. Bigger?The native Americans and the settlershad two completely different ideas of land ownership. Eventually, these differences would lead to war.Oh. Look, goose bumps.Okay, yes. Uh, class dismissed.We did it!Thank you so much for stepping in. Oh, and I promise, Tomorrow, I will do my best to be more prepared. Tomorrow? Why won't Mrs. Hurley be back?Well, I don't want to be indelicate,But the good news is, is I might be your permanent teacher. - I don't want you to be my permanent teacher. - Oh, what? You'd rather have a raging alcoholic?Listen to me.I've worked nonstop to build the perfect academic record, And I'm not going to let you screw it up now.I have an A.P. Test in 160 days,and I need to ace it.Can you get me there or not?I can rally like the brave men of the Alamo.You do realize that all the men of the alamo died?They all died!Ruthie's older, so she thinks she's the boss.But for a little guy, Stu holds his own.They can be a handful.But, god, they make me laugh so hard, you know?I did not know you could even tell the gender of a turtle. Oh, yeah.It's called "Sexing the turtle," And it's an eight-step process. Now, let's pretend your hand is a turtle.- Okay. - What you do is you flip it over.And then you have to look right into --Oh, okay. I get it. I get it. I think I get it.Oh. I know. I'm droning on, aren't I?Please, stop. Please stop!You're not. You're not.I am. But enough about my family.Tell me about yours.All right, well, my husband Phil's a realtor.That's funny. I'm buying a house.Why? When?Actually, we have the final walk-through today,Sign the papers tomorrow.Th-that's a really big deal, Todd.Yeah, and it's a bit of a stretch for us, too,But, uh, no, the time is right.We're just -- we're gonna do it."We" is you and the turtles?No, me and my wife.A w-- I'm sorry.You didn't mention your wife. That's great.I bet she's got a big, fancy, high-paying job, right?Uh, she's getting her master's.- In? - Latin.Oh, Todd.This may not be the best time to buy a house.I hate to be the one to break this to you --Oh. No, no, no, no, I got this.No, you don't.Stand by, everyone.I really felt like I nailed that last one.I still feel so stiff.I don't know what to pretend saying.You're thinking too much. Just draw from your own life. Like, how was your day today?Lousy. My own son didn't want to hug me.Okay, so use that.My character, Dr. Stephen Wilson,Is also sad because his son wouldn't take his adviceAnd he wanted to be dropped off a block away from school.He expected that from his daughtersBut thought his son would be different.That's so sad.But Dr. Stephen wilson is not going to let thatruin breakfast with his mistress.You know, maybe it's just time for us to --to accept that we have to let them go.Maybe it is.Okay, everyone, here we go. We're rolling.And action!How have you been, Roy?Ah, a little down.Helen and I really miss the kids,But we just can't afford to visit them right now.- Have you considered a reverse mortgage? - What's that? Uh, you have equity in your home, right?- Sure, we do. - Please, no crying.You're gonna make me cry, too.Well, essentially the bank buys your house.But you still get to live in it.That sounds too good to be true.Don't take my word for it.Here's Henry Winkler to tell us more.Here's Henry Winkler to tell us more.I don't want the Fonz to see me like this.It's a prototype. It can withstandthe most extreme temperatures on the planet.It's waterproof, and it wicks sweat.It also repels women.I know. I hate it. I'll burn it tonight!Aah! Actually, it doesn't burn.Anyway, if we could get back to the lease agreements here. You're amazing. How would you fix it?It's too boxy.Probably have to take it in here...- Right. - ...and here.Yeah, I probably overdo it in the gym.Stupid 7% body fat.Okay, so getting back to work.We are working. Why are we working?!I got to go to Cabo. Hey, you want to come with me? Oh, I've, uh, never been to Cabo.Yeah, she's not going to cabo 'cause she's half your age.- How old are you? - Who cares?Pretty soon, I'm gonna look 20.I've been meditating in one of those pressurized eggs. Well, if I went to cabo,what would the sleeping situation be?Not much.Okay, no, that is enough! No! No!She is my niece!Okay?This pathetic midlife crisis of yoursis -- is hurting the company,and I'm getting so sick of cleaning up your messes.Y-you need to focus and you need to start acting your age -- Your -- your real age, not your egg age.Normally, if someone talked to me that way, I'd fire him. But I respect your honesty. I respect your passion.It's like me. I'm a very passionate man.Just focus.You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.What's that creaking?Hut! Hike!Oh, hey, you're going the wrong way!That's the wrong way! No!Wait. I'm sorry. You're right.Uh, excuse me, principal Brown.Yikes. You know, most subs just play a movie.All right, do something different, guys.Uh, listen, I-I can't be your history teacher.Those kids work so hard, and they deserve someonewho knows the material and can inspire them, so...If you say so.Hey, I was wondering,what kind of play was that you were running?Was that supposed to be a slant?Our freshman coach quit.I'm just a glorified babysitter.Well, your receiver needs to learn to run his routes, or the quarterback's never gonna be able to hit him. - I-I played in college. - Oh. Okay.Hey, Tyler, you need to learn to run your routes. What routes?Yeah, what routes?Well, you're gonna line up here.Take three steps.One, two, three -- plant right,Open left 45 degrees up the field.Okay, why don't we try it again?Try it again! Tip!Put some zip on the ball, 18!Hut, hut, hike!Hit him!Better. Better. Good job. Circle back up.All right, anyway, thank you for the opportunity. Hey, hey, how would you like to take over this team? Well, well, that's an interesting offer.- How much does it pay? - Nothing.Are you firm on that?Yeah, but there's a gym-teacher position available. - It's all yours if you coach. - Can I wear shorts? Yeah, and you get a whistle, too.Oh, I always get a whistle when I wear shorts.I humbly accept your offer.Huddle up, boys! Let's go! Hustle!Do you know what hustle means, 10?!It really wasn't bad.Todd is a very interesting guy when you get to know him. Did he tell you about his turtles, little Lulu and Stan? Ruthie and Stu.That's the name he picks?"Turtle stew"? Idiot!Well, there was one little situation that came up,but I think I handled it pretty well.- He's about to make, um, kind of a big -- Hold on. Margaret, why can't I log in here?What's wrong with my computer?The whole system's down.No one can access files. We can't get online.Where's Todd?We can't find him anywhere, and his yaris is gone.- Where are my files?! - What the hell?I-I might know a little something about this.What did you do?Kind of told Todd that you were gonna fire him.- What?! - I had to.Dad, he's about to buy a house.But he was fine with it.He hugged me and thanked meand told me that it gave him time to make a plan. Gentlemen, today is a new beginning.And that can be scary.How did it go, Mr. Jet-setter?Good. Really good.Do you want to talk about it?No.I'm gonna ask things of you that may not make sense right now. See you tomorrow, Luke.Not if I see you first.There it is! There's that smile.But they will.- Hey, dad. - Hey, buddy.- We're at school. - Yep.Success is not guaranteed.It is not handed to you.Success is earned.How's that data entry going?Good. I am up to 1998.Ah, that's when I'd already been doing the job 20 years.So maybe I should listen to you?Get you home a lot earlier.Thanks, boss.Today, we are forging a new path, people!The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!Wrong president.- Just keep pushing! - Okay.。
摩登家庭 -第5季第16集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Okay, big day for this household.It certainly is. So exciting.Nothing like starting a new job.Or finally coming into your own at a job you already have. The promise of something new.The rewards finally being --Opposite things being equally good.- Cheers. - Yes.I have accepted a job at the C.F.J.,The -- the Center For Justice.Not, it turns out,a secret headquarters for superheroes.No, it -- it kind of is.It's a legal-aid societyfounded by a law-school friend of mine.I will be an advocate for the people,a voice for the voiceless.And just as important...Oh, thank you.Tonight, I am chaperoning the Spring-A-Ding-Fling,a fundraiser, a dance,which, under my stewardship,has shattered school records.And I added the "A-ding."It used to just be called the Spring Fling.I should have said my thing first.Hey, guys.For my opening number tonight -- be honest. Does it look like I have anything on under this? Tonight is the SCARB.Southern California Annual Realtors' Banquet.It is the banquet for southern California realtors. Literally, it's the only one.And this guy is the only two-time host --Three-time.three-time host in the history of the event. Unfortunately, I have to miss it this year.It's for the best.She's invisible at these things.It's tough being married to the rock star. Luckily, I lined up a substitute date.Dad. You're still up.Yeah, just working on some jokes for the banquet. Hey, how'd you like to come with me?I would love to!Not surprised she said yes.That girl's got real estate in her blood.She used to come with me to open houseswhen she was little.We may have even talked abouta father/daughter partnership.Yeah, she's been drifting a little lately,but I think a tasteof regional real-estate's most glamorous nightmight just re-ignite that flame.I can't believe I have to go to this thing.But what choice did I have?I would love to!But you're not gonna have those cookies without milk, right? Right.Come on, Phil.Break area.Copier.My stinky dog.Oh, look at you.You just threw up recently. Okay.Oh, my gosh.That's you and Michelle Obama.That's my aunt.I am so sorry.I don't know why I thought that --Calm down, white guilt.It's Michelle Obama.Oh, good, yeah.Yeah, you've accomplished a lot in 15 years. Professionally, yeah.I haven't had a date in six months.Some sundays, I drive out to visit my frozen eggs.But, on the plus side,I have gotten really close with my mom. Oh, look at that. I see the resemblance. That's Maya Angelou.Damn it.It's signed, Mitch.Yeah. I see that.This is gonna be fun!I know!- I'm just really looking for - You! What was that outfit last night?That was a business dinner!What is wrong with you?Wendy, I tried.Well, try harder.Ooh, here's your office.Okay.Oh, this is nice.Yeah. Dennis liked it...until he didn't.I'll check on you later.Okay. All right.Let's see here.Let's see here.New guy?Uh, yes. Hi. I'm Mitchell Pritchett.Dan.Hope you don't have any plans for Sunday night. Dan! What are you still doing here?Go!Sorry.Right.That way!Oh, no.Oh, no.I do love it in leather.Well, learn to love it in silk.It's too hot outside to be wearing leather.I'm talking about this car.Oh, by the way,I do the negotiating at the dealership today.Why?Honey, I'm a businessman.When it comes to people,I know how to get what I want out of them.This watch --The man sold it to me for half of what he was asking. These -- a third.These -- for free.So, who's better at working people, Mr. Businessman? Fine. We have different approaches,but we're both pretty good.Hello, Mitch.Hey, buddy.You look like you want to get up and walk.Late bloomer -- fine.Who cares if the other kidscall you "Slo-Joe"?And they do, you know.Bye-bye.We're gonna have to reschedule the car shopping. Mitch has to work.Cam has to dance.We have to sit Lily.- What? - Nothing.Just -- I could have got us out of that.Stop!- Eat it! - Get off me!Eat the grass, cow!- Hi, Rhonda. - Hi, Mrs. Dunphy.Hey, mom.Honey, it's getting very close to time for the dance. Shouldn't you go in and get changed?I did already.The guys are coming by.We're gonna ride from here.What about you, Rhonda?You want to go in and get cleaned up?- I'm good. - Are you?What about that dirt on your face?Luke, you wait here.Ride with your friends.I will bring Rhonda. Come on.Just, um, give me a good shake like a dogbefore you go inside.I know.And my dad has three tattoos.Like, "Why? You're a dad."Ew! It's so sad when parents try.My mom double-pierced one of her ears,and I'm like, "Hello!You're 50."It's so old, like, ancient to have an ear piercing.Uh, you two decide to go to the dance?Well, yeah, but not really.- But, yeah. - What?We're going ironicallyto make fun of all the kids who make a big deal out of it. "Ironic"? My ass.Alex likes Drew.She's just playing it safe.Now, there are the pushy, obnoxious momswho try and get involved,nudge them towards one another.We mean well.Fancy shirt, coach Tucker.Oh, thank you. You know what I like to say.I might be coach,but I travel first class.So, what would you thinkabout giving the opening remarks at the dance tonight? The arts committee has never made this much,and it's all because of you.Oh, you guys, when I came to this school six months ago, I never would have imagined you would embrace me. Excuse me? Is this a chem lab?Because I'm looking for a big reaction.And there it is.Hi. How are --Who is this?How was sabbatical?Amazing.I'm rested and ready......to take another vacation.And how are we supposed to know him?Senor Kaplan, legendary Spanish teacher.You know, my heart went out to him a littlebecause he left as everyone's favorite,and I'm sure word got out about, you know...me.I just didn't want him to feel displaced.Okay. Excuse me, big guy.Gifts for everyone.Angela, this is fresh from Anuradhapura. And, uh, Karen,you might want to eat some chapati with that. And this is for, um --- It's Marcia. - Marcia!Right, of course. I knew that.I must have been having a "Senor" moment. Somebody's always on.Who did this?What happened?Somebody knocked my bag downand broke my phone.Lily, do you know anything about this?He did it.Joe.Yep. I'm going to go and play.She lies.How could Joe pull a bag off a table?He can't even walk.I'll talk to her.Why you?Because you're such a businessmanthat knows how to talk to people?Trust me. When I get done talking to her,not only will she have confessed to the crime, I might even sell her a closet.I remember my buddiesand I were playing rock war once.That's a gamewhere you chuck rocks at each other's heads. What could go wrong, right?I put one through the windowof my old man's Rambler,and he thought my baby brother did it.I couldn't take it,and I told him I did it.It felt so good to confess,and my old man was so proud of me,I didn't even get in any trouble.Y-you know?Joe did it.She's good.Watch and learn.I don't think that cleavage thingis gonna work with this one.That's not my only trick.Hola, Lily.Where did grandpa go?Don't worry about Jay.It's only you and me here now.So, tell me.Which one of these is your favorite? Fine.One by one,they will disappear.Sooner or later,we'll get to the one that you love. Ladies and gentlemen,he's the emperor of escrow.He puts the toot in tooter.Let's put your hands together for Phil Dunphy!Thanks for the kind introduction, me.Now, unlike past years...I'm not gonna stand up hereand talk your ears off.No, ladies and gentlemen.You deserve more.This year,I'm gonna sing them off.*I'm selling away*Set an open house for Saturday*A gathering of agents*Appeared in caravan*I'm a new divorce*Now I need a house*That's cat-friendlyThey say the greatsnever let anything affect their performance.Well, maybe the greats never had a daughterwho checked out during the third of five plannedreal-time, mid-performance wardrobe changes.I'm not gonna lie.It knocked me off my game.*On the boardIs this part of it?No.It's not part of it.In law school,Wendy Kirk could be a little intense.I always hoped that she'd soften over time, but......some people go the other way.This place is a nightmare.The conditions are deplorable,and no one should have to sufferthis kind of abuse on a daily basis.What kind of tyrant has such utter disregard for human life?I can't do this.You have to.Wendy needs to hear it.Yeah, but I'm nervous. You know, what if she --- Mitchell. - Yes! Hi!I just had a great idea.I think you would be the perfect person to groom Rex.I think you would be the perfect person to groom Rex. E-excuse me?I just think he'd really respondto someone like you, you know?Y-you don't mind, right?Uh, uh, no. No, not at all.Great. Thanks.Will you go over and introduce yourself?I-intro-- okay.- Okay. Yeah. - Thank you.Hello. I'm Mitchell.And, apparently, this is my job now.Oh, god, you smell.People are looking at me.That's because you let me make you beautiful.Stop it. Am I?Yes, you are.Have fun.Go. Go.Drew. Hey, Drew.Having fun?"Fun"? Uh...okay.Oh, Drew. Drew, listen.Phil and I are gonna be out really late tonight,so there will not be an adult at the housewhen you drop Alex off,if you know what I mean.Yeah, don't worry.I'll, uh-- I'll drop her off,and I won't go in.Well... big house,you know... cute daughter--I would not be opposed to you walking her in, keeping her company until we get back.Like I said,we will not be back until late.I hear you, Mrs. Dunphy.You can trust me.Well, gonna have to trust you because we have no way of knowing what you're gonna get up to.In fact, if your car is blocking the driveway,I'll just honk twiceand wait for you to come out.- Okay. - Okay.Go get her, tiger. Come on.Nice job, Tucker.I mean, you made so many choicesthat I never would have made,but a lot of them are working.Oh, well, you know,I just watched the videosof the many, many dances you plannedand just built off that one on idea.Hey, kids!There are my little chalupas!Um, what did you do to Rhonda?I cleaned her up.No, you broke her.I hate her like this.She looks fantastic.To you!Fix her. Ugh, it confuses me.Oh, Luke."The house will be empty"?You are pimping me out!It is clear that the two of you like one another. Sometimes, you need a little nudge.Well, you're a chaperone!Just disappear!This dance is not for you!You're lucky that's water.Damn it.She's been stewing in there for an hour.I say let's lock the door,cut the power.Let's show her that we mean business.Let's try the joint approach first..."Gitmo."Let's try the joint approach first..."Gitmo." Okay, we've been going over your story,and it doesn't add up.My purse was too high for Joe to reach.He's tall enough to reach up here.He knocked over the baby powdertrying to get my stuffed animals.Not buying it.Look. You can see the footprints where he walked. Walk?Lily, Lily, Lily.Joe can't walk.He does for me.So, you have ways of making him walk?Lily, just admit that you did it.Come here, Joe.Come here like you did before.Honey, you're embarrassing yourself.- Come here, Joe. - He can't walk.He's walking!The candles that I lit worked!Look at the stride on him.He's as surefooted as a mountain goat.Told you.I'm so sorry that we doubted you.Boy, did I get lucky.I'm going to blame everything on himuntil he learns how to talk.This guy waltzes in here like he's king of the dance after doing god knows what in Sri Lanka,building schools in underdeveloped areas.What does that even mean?Is it possible that you're being a little hard on the man?I turned his two-bit dance into the event of the year. Look. Burnouts and dweebshanging out together in harmony.That is me.I'm sorry, Cam.Oh, don't feel sorry for me.Next is faculty dance.Kaplan can't move.It's on his Tumblr.It's on his Tumblr.It's his big shame.Trust me.He can't touch this.Okay, time now for the faculty dance.Go, teachers.Oh, are you sure?Stop. It's "Cammer" Time.Mind if I join you, coach?While on sabbatical,I learned a thing or two from Sri Lanka's own Chitrasena.I learned a thing or two from Sri Lanka's own Chitrasena.I don't know who that is,and it's annoying when you say thingslike people are supposed to know!That pathetic peacock of a manwas not going down without a fight.I had a choice to make --be the better dancer or the bigger man.So, I stepped off the dance floorand made the obvious call.You want to win over a crowd?Invite a lonely mom to dance.She never saw it coming,and neither did he.Hey Senor.You just got out-coached.I try and look on the bright side of things.I-I'm a doggy-bath-is-half-fullkind of guy.But it was time for me to open my eyes.I was working for a monster.I came to this job to be the voice of the downtrodden. Turns out those downtrodden were my co-workers,and they were desperate for a hero to slay their dragon. Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.Um, Rex, how's it going with Mitchell?The new guy?I haven't met him yet.That's weird. I asked him to introduce himself.hey, has anybody seen my dog?Pixie!Oh, there she is.Okay, Wendy, I'm sorry.I-I have something to say to you,something that everybody else here is afraid to say. Now, I know you're fighting the good fight,but that is no excuse for the way you treat people.T-that actually might be one of the reasonsthat you have no personal lifebecause who wants to come hometo a-a cold, emotionless...thug?W-what are you talking about?I am an experienced, respected attorney,and on my first day,you asked me to bathe Rex.I'm not comfortable with that.And I'm not comfortable with that,but I did it.Okay, that's Pixie.This is Rex,the intern I asked you to groom.And that is my mistake,and I own that.But that is still no excusefor the way that you tore into himfor the outfit he wore yesterday.I was talking about the outfit he picked out for me. Apparently, I have the one gay intern in the world with absolutely no fashion sense.I was unaware of -- of this dynamic.But I-I-I'm not alone here, all right?There are people in this room who feel that you are -- How did we say it? --you are a tyrant with no regard for human life.That sounds like my summation for the slum-lord case. Oh, hey, you finished it?It's wonderful.But he's nervous to show you.Why are you so hard on yourself?Okay, but w-w-what --what about you making us work on sundays?That -- the night of my barbecue?Dan?What are you still doing here?It's your anniversary! Go home!Oh, god. This isn't happening.No, no. She's -- she's crazy.I mean, I saw her attack the vending machine.That's the only way it works since Dennis broke it.Dennis is the guy whose office I took?Yeah, he was the machine's best customeruntil he started running.One day, he said he's got to get out or --He would die. Okay. Okay.Wendy, um...I-I might owe you a little bit of an apology,so I'm sorry.Um, clearly, everybody here loves you,and I-I was wrong about everything.So...I'm sorry.You know, you -- you weren't wrong about everything.I mean, look, I do joke about it, but you're right.I'm alone.And that is not the first time that someone has called me cold. Okay, those eggs...those eggs came out of me frozen.And I'm impossibly tall.And even if I could find somebody to love me,they -- they wouldn't be able to reach.No -- hey, hey. Come on.You're -- you're an amazing woman.She's an amazing woman.And you -- you're a-a role model.You're a hero.I'm a 6-foot hero.No. Come on.You're surrounded by people who love you.Here's Dan and Rex.Me. Come here.All the way up to Samuel L. Jackson there.That's your mother in a Kangol hat, isn't it? Yeah.Um, are you sure you know what you're doing, Tad?I know you're the Mortgage Doctor, but -- Someone said, "Is there a doctor in the house?" Was I supposed to not get up?Hey, dad. You need any help out of that dress?Not unless you want to see mein nothing but a baby new year's diaper.That was the big finishto the song you were texting through.Hey, I got one text. I saw most of the show --We're leaving, okay?Could you just go to the tableand grab my keys and purse?Fine.You want to talk about it?How many kinds of fake doctor are you? Okay, time for the big award of the night, The ROY...I don't even know why I'm mad at her. Probably just 'cause she was so bored all night. Maybe you're feeling rejected?It's my own fault.I built up this hopethat she'd want to follow me into real estate. ...Phil Dunphy.She's got her own life now.I just don't know where we connect anymore. You won.- What?! - Yeah.Help me up!As we all know,Phil had a little accident tonight,but we're happy to accept- this award on his behalf. - Wait, wait, wait. Wait, w-w-w-w-wait!I got this.Hi. I'm, uh,I'm haley, Phil's daughter.Dad, you won the ROY!You all know him as an amazing realtor,but I know him as the world's greatest dad.As far as I'm concerned,he's the dad of the year,the "DOY."It really is a shamethat you didn't hear the rest of his act tonight.I-I heard him rehearsing it.Which one of you is J.J. McCubbin?Oh. Hey, quick question, J.J. --Why is a great mortgage ratelike your wife in bed?Once a month and low interest.What are you laughing at, Skip Woosnum?You haven't seen a commissionsince you joined the navy.She is killing it.That's my girl.I would have hit the word "Navy" harder.What else? What else?Oh! Margaret Furman's here.Little heads-up to her date --She's been upside-down in more houses than Fannie Mae. Or, in her case, Fannie definitely will.We all want people to think the best of us...So sometimes we cover things upto protect ourselves.But we don't have to be afraid...Because the truth is always a good thing.The truth sets us free......brings us closer.So, do you want to tell usHow Joe's shoes ended up on the wrong feet?I guess the little guy knows how to put on his own shoes. There you go, buddy. You got this.What are you doing?Since Joe can walk now,I figured he should be doing a few chores.Steady, big guy!Chores? What kind of --There he is.Attaboy!Attaboy!A beer? Are you crazy?Where you going? You want some?He'll bring it to you.I can't believe that you're teaching him to do that.Wait till you see part two.Attaboy.Relax, it was me.。
摩登家庭 -第5季第12集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Okay, everybody. Cake time!Thank god. I really have to study.Oh, sweetheart, can't you just take a minute to enjoy it? It's your birthday.You put too much pressure on yourself.I remember my sweet 16.I wanted a theme party."Moonstruck" had just come out, but I hadn't, so --No stories, no time --S.A.T.s.Here we go, everybody.Wait, wait.We all know why we're here.- Ay, honey, you missed one. - I know!I know I missed one! I'm not an idiot!There! Happy?!- You're being a little... - Obstreperous?! Recalcitrant?! Truculent?!I was gonna say "Cray-cray."Alex, sweet...I really need to focus!There is a 16-year-old science prodigystudying cancer research at Johns Hopkins!16! What am I doing?!I'm eating cake!No, no, no.Cake! Cake! Cake!Alex might be a little bit fragile after last night,so let's try to be sensitive.Oh, believe me -- I am going to benothing but nice to Alex from now on.If she snaps and goes on a rampage,who do you think she's coming for first?She's not going on a rampage.I bet she'd let me live. She likes me.I'm just gonna say it -- I never trusted her.Oh, everybody just be normal.We're gonna treat her exactly the way we usually do. And there she is.- Hi, pretty girl. - How'd you sleep?- Fine. - Your hair looks super-soft, Al.And is that a great new sweater? Love!Dad, can you hand me the butter knife?No!Haley, Luke, upstairs, please.Thank you.Thanks.So, about my meltdown.- Who? - What meltdown?I want to see a therapist. I did some research.Dr. Gregory Clark -- highly recommended, specializes in teenagers, and is covered by our insurance.I booked a double session with him today.And since you guys have the open house,I will be taking the bus.- Okay. - That sounds good.She's like a self-cleaning oven.Check it out.I'm rockin' the old school for the open house today.I'm gonna put the "Fizz" back in "Phys Ed."I'm gonna put the "Fizz" back in "Phys Ed."I love it -- all of it.- Really? - Yeah.Because I want to make a good impression today.I want to be the teacher all the parents are talking about. Well, that explains the socks.What?There's a caste system at school --Academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. It's offensive and disrespectful.They treat us like we're lunch ladies.Hey, there, neighbor.- It's Asher, right? - Yeah.Um, I just wanted to let you know --I think there might be something- wrong with your air conditioner. - Oh, really?Yeah, I mean, it just seems to be running a lot,even when it's, uh, kind of cool outside.No, no.Um, my partner runs a little hot.Not as hot as our planet.Sorry. I don't mean to be that guy.It's just, um, we're all in this together.Yeah, I drive a Prius, so...And that's a nice little gesture.My car runs on reclaimed cooking oil.I have some literature, if you want it.That's okay. Save the paper.I haven't printed anything since 2004.I was gonna e-mail you.On your power-hungry computer?My entire house is solar-powered.I sell energy back to the gridand use that money to save polar bears.I'm an environmental lawyer,so, you know, I'm pretty green.So is your lawn.I went drought-tolerant --Succulents, indigenous plants, rock garden.My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box. She's a cute kid.I remember when she was in disposable diapers.Are you ready?Yeah.Why do you look like that when I look like this?My friends say it's because of your money.No, I'm just saying why is she all dressed upfor a school open house?I want to impress Manny's history teacher.I want Manny to go to Washington, D.C.Yeah, Junior Congress.Only one kid in the whole grade gets picked to go.I think I can make a difference.Regular Congress can't even make a difference.Don't worry, Manny. I have it covered.You just go and enjoy your date.I have a date. It's no big deal.D-don't make a whole thing about it.What did I do with my car keys?I mean, we're just friends now,but I have a good feeling.I know -- don't get ahead of myself.Every time I put them down.What is her name?Either Zoe or Piper.How can you be going on a date and you don't know her name? This is where it gets interesting.I seriously doubt that.A few days ago, we almost let a girl come between us.- Who is she? - The new girl.- She's pretty. - Super-pretty.Dibs.What?! N-no. You can't call dibs.She's a human being with feelings,not the front seat.Then a miracle happened.Twins -- each as pretty as the other.It's funny -- Luke and I don't usuallygo for the same kind of girl.Yeah. I like to describe my type as "Gettable".What are you doing, Tucker?Oh, hey, Principal Brown.Do you know how other teachers drone on and onto parents with their boring lectures?Well, I thought I would go another way.Oh. Well, I don't like the sound of that at all.I think you will.I'm gonna spice things up with a spirited game of dodgeball. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.Okay, before you say "No"...I already said "No."...let me show you my whole bit.Howdy, folks.My name's Tucker.I'm the Sheriff of Dodge...ball."Laugh, laugh, laugh."And then --No, no "then." No.Have you seen the shape some of these folks are in? We don't need a parent dropping dead in here. Look, this is the "Dolphin Den."I am not renaming itthe Harvey K. Mandelbaum memorial gym.But I was gonna divide everybody up intoBut I was gonna divide everybody up intothe Hatfield and McCoys.Just no dodgeball.Hello, Mr. Ingram.I am Gloria Delgado-Pritchett,Manny's mother.Yes, of course.I just wanted to thank you so much.He thinks the world of you.You know, as a child of an immigrant,he can look at the world with such a fresh perspective. And talking about fresh,I brought you some empanadas.Subtle.Hey, Phil. Where's Claire?Oh, she's going to Alex's classes.I'm doing Luke's.I'm surprised to see you here.Isn't your team playing today?Yeah. Gloria made me come.I think I'm recording the game,but, you know, you can never know.The last time, I got six hours of Bravo.And who knows?Maybe Manny's going to be the first Latino President. Hello, Mr. Ingram.Dr. Donna Duncan,Wesley's mom.Just brought you a little thank-youfor being his absolute favorite teacher ever.- Those cupcakes are so white. - Thank you.Dr. Donna Duncan.I'm Gloria.We've met several times.Oh, of course.Mario's mom.Manny.And how is he fitting in now? Better? Anyway...Here she is.You brought a flask to an open house?You want some? It's Scotch.No. Put it away.Don't be such a goody-goody.Taste it. It's older than you are.- I don't want any scotch. - Well, just smell it.- Fine. - Mr. Dunphy, is that a flask?No. It is. It I--Uh, I was -- it's his.No, it's not.For the record, no alcohol is allowed on school premises. For god's sake, Phil,it's 2:00 in the afternoon.So, Alex, tell me why you're here.I had a little meltdown last night,and I'm afraid it'll happen again.But, this time, in the middle of the S.A.T or something. Why do you think you melted down?I'm stressed.It's my junior year.Part of me feels likethe limbic system in my brain's a bit off.That's a thing, right? I did some research.You know I charge the sameeven if you diagnose yourself?I'm just trying to move this along.I have a lot to do.Well, uh, this is a process.You know, it takes some time.What -- what are you thinking?- Nothing. - No, no. Go ahead. Tell me.That maybe you're not up for this.I mean, no offense.You're just a lot older than you look on your website.Did you even have S.A.T.s when you were in high school or Asian kids?Oh, no. no, no, no.But there were other things I worried about --Spanish inquisition,sailing off the edge of the world,learning how to understand fire.Sorry.- You mind if we try something? - What?Just do me a favor.Take a deep breath.Great.Now... what's on your mind?Well... I just remembered that I forgotto charge my computer before I leftand that I have to get new index cards before Monday. Hopefully they don't run out of the blue ones,because, for some reason, those help me study better. Maybe it's because they're easier to reador maybe my prescription's getting worse.I should probably make an appointment with the eye doctor. Also, should I get a job this summeror would an internship look better on my application? And what is up with Hillary?Is she going to run or not?I mean, I feel like she'd totally understandthe feeling of being overwhelmed,but also like you're not doing enough at the same time. Hey, Nina, how's Sanjay?Oh, great. Thanks.He's just dealing with the S.A.T.s and the A.C.T.s. And that merit scholarship applicationeveryone's so stressed about.What -- what application?Let's begin by talking about the A.P. Physics test, which, as you know, takes place on...May 21st.With Luke and Haley,I'm on top of everything because they aren't.But Alex is so self-sufficient,I just sort of put it in cruise control.I've fallen asleep at the wheel,and now my little genius is covered in cake.Now, a list of practice tests I recommendthe students take before then3a, 4c, 12a through "f,"18d, 19a, 23c,24g, 25h, 26a...Meanwhile, a great artist like Bob Dylanwould get voted off in the first round, which --If you wet the end,it will stick to his face.You're a genius.Piper, that's rude.You know, Manny, in chorus,we sing "Blowin' in the wind."Now that's blowin' in the wind.You're funny, Luke.Manny and I need to use the restroom.We do?You've got to switch with me.What? No, we can't do that.They're twins. They'll never notice.You realize we're not twins, right?Special dollhouse delivery for Lily!It's here, it's here!I think you're going to love it.I spent so many hours playing with this when I was your age. Yeah, me too.Hey, quick, turn off your car.Why? It's in park, I think.I have a judgey green neighbor.He had the nerve to come over hereand tell me that I'm not green enough.Shut up! You're super-green.Thank you. I'm -- I'm recycling a dollhouse.I even recycled a child.- Didn't you win some award? - Yes, yes.The state bar association award for sustained excellencein the field of environmental...yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one.w. There was one word left.You didn't have to cut me off.Dollhouse, please.Okay. Yeah, in a minute.You know what you should do?March right over thereand wave that trophy in his stupid eco face.No. You think?Yes. Those people are so annoying.There's this girl at my schoolwho was all over me about my boots 'cause they're leather. Meanwhile, she's wearing Crocs,like those aren't endangered.You know what? I am gonna do that.Show him to out-green me.- Okay. Oh, no. - Oh, no.All right, those are blowing into his yard.That is -- okay, that's definitely gonna hurt my case. Uh, you pick these up.I'm gonna go get the trophy. Lily, help her.I heard that "recycled child" comment.Thanks to your little flask,now the teacher thinks I'm a burnout.Football game.Football game!- What are you doing? - You can do this now.I saw it in a commercial.Not with that phone.You might as well say it into your wallet.Come on. We're gonna be late for math.I'm not going to any more boring classes.You're just gonna cut?No,I'm just not gonna go because I'm in my 60s. Teacher's lounge.They got a TV in here.- We can't go in the teacher's lounge. - Why not?- Um, it's for teachers only. - You're a teacher.Right now, you're teaching me how to be a little bitch. Jay, don't. Jay.Jay!So, when do you think you'll be making your decision? Oh, sometime in the next week or so.Oh, take your time. It would be rude to rush you.Not as rude as interrupting two peoplein the middle of a conversation.Well, actually, I'll go.I'm gonna go grab some coffee.Good idea because those cupcakes look very dry.Okay. This is unbelievable.They just gave me four books on applying to top colleges. When am I gonna have time to read all this?Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.I didn't see you there. Come on, girls.Oh, she's so mean.- Everybody sees me. - Who was that?Dr. Dooda Dada.She thinks that she can flirt her son all the way to Washington, but I'm gonna take her down.I would love to chat, but I got to get to A.P. Calc.Physical education is a critical part of every school day.As we develop the mind, so we must the body.This begins with good nutrition, uh, physical activity, sportsmanship, and attention to personal hygiene.No, please, please, please don't go.I know this is boring, but this isn't my idea.I wanted to play a spirited game of dodgeball, but --That sounds fun. I'll play dodgeball.I'll play, too.Anything's got to be better than this.Oh, well, you know what?We're really not supposed to, but you know what?Hey, guys, listen to this. My name's Cam.I'm the sheriff of Dodge...ball.Okay, you guys are the Hatfields.You are the McCoys.Mr. Mandelbaum, I'd like you to stay seated. You're gonna be our referee.All right, everybody, let's dodgeball! Dodgeball was a smash.Dr. Donna and Gloria were like two assassins just picking off their victims one by one. Okay, last two dodgeballers.Are you ready?Yes.Are you ready?Yes!Oh, I'm so sorry.I'm going to kill you!Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, don't!Ow! My eye! I don't understand you!So, you like theater,and you just put this fake thumb in our fries. Yep.I'm gonna go out on a limb hereand say we're with the wrong people.Let's just switch dates and get this party started. What? We don't want to switch.Yeah. I'm not attracted to you.And I'm not attracted to you.Wait a minute.We like all the same things, but you don't think I'm cute?I've got a thing for Latin men.I like 'em dumb.- Ugh. Well, that's just offensive. - And shallow.Just because we're guys doesn't mean we don't have feelings. Yeah. I don't feel good about this.It makes me feel...bad.Come on, Luke. Let's get out of here.Our parents aren't home.If you want, we'll make out with you.I'm not proud of what happened next.I am.He's not home.How's the cleanup going?Well, I think I got most of them.You've been at this a while.How come you only have like eight peanuts?Instead of carrying them around,I made a huge pile right over th--- Again?! - Geez. They're everywhere.Oh, god. No! Bird!Aah! Oh, no!Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!Oh, no! What is that smell?!It smells like french fries!It's biodiesel. Can you plug it up?- Oh, what? With what? Popcorn? - Oh, geez. Oh, god.No! My boots! This is a disaster!Save the seals!What -- what -- what -- what the hell?What did you do?Uh, I won a green award.That's what.You think you can get this thing to work?Hey, you're supposed to be the lookout.What if somebody walks in?Gee, they'll call my parents.Hey! Look! You did it!Yeah, it's not that big of a deal.Listen, I'm gonna get back to class.Before you go, let me ask you a question.How do you know how to do all this stuff?Back in high school, I was in the A.V. Club.We did all kinds of crazy things.One year, we hid a microphone in the gym.We could totally hear everything that was going on at prom.I used to make fun of guys like you.This is pretty cool.Really?You think this is cool...First down! All right.Best open house ever.It's all gravy when you're in the A.V.Admit it -- doesn't it feel goodto break a few rules,take a walk on the wild side?- You're welcome. - No, you're welcome.I'm the one who set this whole thing up.Let's just say we make a good team.To us.There he goes. There he goes.Come on, come on! Come on!Come on! Yeah!I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Can you give me an example?Well, when I was little,I was in a spelling team at schooland I really wanted to win.I don't know why. There was no prize.No one cared.My parents didn't even know I was in it.I just felt this weight on my shoulders,like if I lost, I'd...I don't know.- I just had to win. - And did you?Yep. Know what the winning word was? Responsibility.Is that what you feel?A responsibility to win all the time?To always be the best?That's one way to put it.And this responsibility -- where does it come from? I'm not sure. It's just...there.So it's an internal pressure.Kind of.I mean, once you start overachieving,people expect things from you.Like what people?You know, the world...Teachers, parents, other kids.It's not all internal.Don't get me wrong.I like the way I'm wired.It's what's going to get me into a good school.It's what makes me who I am.And how is that -- being who you are?I don't know.Mostly good.A little exhausting.Sometimes hard.I guess there's your answer.It's hard being me.Tell me a little more about your family.They're pretty normal, I guess.I'm not like any of them,- But that doesn't really bother me. - Ever?Only when they say things like "Alex, you study too much" or "Don't freak out" or "Go do something fun."So, your siblings--they don't experience the same pressures you do.Oh, god, no. They don't care about school.Hmm. Why do you think that is?I mean, you all grew up in the same housewith the same parents, yet you're the only onewho feels this enormous pressureto achieve at such a high level.Why do we even have to talk about my family?They don't have anything to do with this.They don't get me.How's that feel?- I don't know. - You're a smart girl.- Try a little harder. - I said I don't know.I feel...kind of alone.I realize our juniors are busy with SATs, so as a rule,I only give two hours of homework a night.- Two hours? - Our students are highly advanced.It's nothing they can't handle.You know, I'm-- I'm sure they can.It's just that if they have two hours in this class and they have an hour for A.P. Bioand an hour and a half for, um, advanced lit and-- hang on one second.Let me just do this on the board,'cause then it's-- um, we got 2 and 1 and 1.5 and then another, uh, hour and a halffor A.P. History-- gives us...- It's 6. - Yes!Nina, I was getting there.Thank you! Thank you so much!If I could just have a second to thinkwithout all the tippy-tappy typing.6.Well, I hope you're happy.You've ruined dodgeball for everyone.She was the one who threw that ball in my face. Only because you threw yourself at Mr. Ingram. Okay, ladies, please.Can't you see what's going on here?You both just want what's best for your kids.I need to get this trip for Wesley.I'm tired of him being so mad at me all the time. Why is he mad?Oh, he blames me for the divorce.His father will always be the hero.It's hard to blame someone who's never there.Now, can't you relate to that?It will get better.Kids always figure out who's really there for them. Again, we're very sorry about the projector.I'll send a check on Monday.- Hi, honey. - I got in trouble.Whatever she did, add it to my tab.- All right, let's do this. - No. No, no, no.Not you two, just you. Come on, sheriff.Oh, hey, honey. How did it go?Good. And I made another session for next week.How was the open house?Wow. So intense.I had no idea the kind of pressure you're under. Honey, I was just you for two hours.I could barely hold it together.I don't know how you don't have a meltdown every day. - I... - Oh, honey.Sweetie, what? Did I say something?Yes.Thank you.Okay.Okay.Okay.Again, I am so sorry.I-I guess, in retrospect, it was a little crazythat I wanted to show you my state bar association award. Stop.And it's possible I come on a little too strong.No. No, no.I like to think that I'm greener than I am,but maybe I just want the creditwithout doing all the hard work that you do.Well, you're right-- it is hard,but, you know, it's also alienating.You know, no one wants to be friends with me.I-I can't tell you the last timeI had people over for dinner,which is probably a good thing.You know, with solar power,it takes four days to roast a chicken.- Really? - If you want it cooked all the way through, yeah. You know I had salmonella three times?If you want to come over to our house for dinner,- we kind of owe you. - You can play with my dollhouse. Yeah?Does it made from sustainable materials?Forget it.。
摩登家庭 -第3季第19集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Councilwoman Dunphy, how do you respondto allegations that you look super sexy in your new suit?Uh, I haven't been elected yet.Come on, kids! We gotta vote!- Honey, come on. Please stop filming. - I'm just excited!After today, you are going to be a councilwoman,and I am going to be a first husband.And if you don't stop filming,you're going to be my first husband.All right, everybody, come on!Do you know what you're doing, kids?You guys are manning the phone banks.Alex, you're in charge of that.Wh-why is she in charge? And what's--what's a phone bank? That's why.- Phil. - I got it.I will be driving 50 of our finest senior citizens to the polls, assuming, of course, that they remember that I'm coming for them. - Where you at? - High-five.Old people occasionally forget things.Okay. All right, everybody, let's go. Let's go.Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Real quick!Sorry. Everybody get in there. Jump in there.I just want to say how proud of you we all are.You're an inspiration.Who would have thought that 20 years agowhen you were still in the bloom of your youth--Okay, I'm gonna go start the car.Claire likes to win.When she was 8, a little girl scout friend of hersbragged she could sell the most cookies.Damn if Claire didn't walk the neighborhoodtill she got blisters on her feet and won by ten boxes.Best part isClaire wasn't even a girl scout.The choice is Claire!Vote Claire Dunphy for town council.Aw, I love it!- What do you think, huh? - I love it.We got it on Craigslist.Came off a taco truck.- It did. - I love that you're doing this for me.- Thank you! - You're welcome.I know how important winning is to Claire.And I love to festoon things.We're her dream team.So we cleared the whole day, dropped Lily off at school, and voted first thing.Although, uh, one of us had a bit of a dimpled chad situation. Can you tell me how this machine works again, Chad? Oh, sure. No problem.Just wanna look in here. Just--Thank you. Thank you.- Bye! Bye!- Thank you, guys!I can see Clairely now that Duane is gone.Bye! Thank you! Oh, my gosh.Okay, everybody, get in the car. Let's go. Let's go. Good luck today, Claire.Oh, Laurie, thank you.Hey, by the way, we have some really good news.- What's that? - Becky got into the University of Oregon. Oh, congratulations!Any news, Haley?Uh, uh, no, not-- not yet,but, you know, super psyched!This whole waiting-to-hear thing has been a nightmare since the very first letter.I'm too nervous. I can't do it."Dear miss Dunphy,we regret to inform you..."What?! Don't leave me hanging!After that, I decided to only tell my parents good news.I have one school left,and the only good news I've gottenis that my annoying neighbor Beckyis moving back east to Oregon.- Manny, write this down. - I didn't bring a pen. Election day is America at its finest.The people speak, and the government listens.I don't know what they do in Colombia.No one does, and don't ask.I mean, we know that voting's a privilege,but for my daughter to have her name on that ballot,it just means so much more--You know what? I think I'm gonna vote later.What? Where are you going?Ah, the line is too long.It's only three people! And nobody has a gun!It's only three people! And nobody has a gun!We're here, we're Claire,get used to it!You know, I'm not sure if that's tracking.Here, let me try one.You don't have to be Clairevoyant to know who to vote for. Vote Dunphy for town council.Uh, uh, uh, Claire Dunphy.Uh, C-Caire's her first name.I'm sorry if that wasn't Claire.Oh, my God. Look at that. There's a trash can right there, and that guy just threw his paper on the sidewalk.Hey! You in the yellow jacket.Pick it up and put it in the trash.- Oh, my God. He did it. - Yes, he did.Ooh, here. Let me try one.I'll try...Hey, dragon tattoo, no jaywalking!oh, my gosh.This is an instrument of power.How could they not sell tacos?You know what we could do with this thing?Cam, we could really make a difference.We could be the voice of change.Ooh, I got it!Let's go yell at the dry cleaner that lost my shirt. Come on, gang.Today is the Dunphys at their best.I'm from the "Weekly Saver." Mind if I ask you- a couple questions about the big election? - Not at all. Fire away.Who are you voting for today?Claire Dunphy.Finally. I've been waiting for someone to say that name. Why?Uh... Because I am Claire Dunphy.Oh, sorry. They moved me over from ad sales.We take turns reporting.How do you feel about your chances today?Not as good as I did a few minutes ago.No, she feels great.Um, her spirits are high. The whole family's high.- There's your headline. - Phil, no.Uh, how about a photo of all of you?- Yeah. Sure. Yes. - Mom, mom, mom. Tag.- Tag's still on. - Oh, my Goodness.Thank you.That would have been a really awkward picture. Okay. No!What is that?Is that a tooth?- Ew! - Awesome!How old are you? No!- Do it again! - How does that even happen?It's a-a fake tooth from an old ice-skating injury.- It just fell out. - Oh, my gosh. Why today?!- What about the... - Let's not overreact.- Let's--let me see it. - Okay. All right.Got it. Thanks.What happened back there?Line was too long. I couldn't wait.I've seen you wait 45 minutes in line for sherbet! Well, I happen to like sherbet, okay?That place I take youhas the greatest sherbet on the west coast.They got lime sherbet, they got coconut sherbet.Why are we talking about sherbet?He's clearly changing the subject.Why aren't you in school?He's doing it again.Manny's right. You're being very ardilla.- "Ardilla"? - Yeah, you know, the--The one that--that--- Rabbit? I was being rabbit-y? - No, another one- With the cheeks and the tail and... - Chipmunk?- Possum? -Okay, obviously she means squirrel.You were being squirrely then,- You're being squirrely now. - Better than being a rat. Manny, give us a minute.Oh, sure. I served him up on a silver platter.What?All right, it's no big deal.There was a woman working there.I didn't want her to see me.- Who is she? - Her name is Dottie.She's the first woman I dated after my divorce.You dated a Dottie after Dede?Y-you're focusing on the wrong thing here.The--the point is it ended badly.I tried to let her down easy, but, uh,she didn't take it too well.Actually, I don't know how she took it,'cause I wasn't there.We dated a few weeks, then after we... You know,I slipped out of her house before she woke upand never called her again.Put my pants on in her yard, put the car in neutral,let it roll down the driveway, lights off.Hey, I can't talk about this anymore.So because of this woman,you didn't vote for your daughter?It's Claire! We need her to win!I don't want to be around when something that tight comes unraveled. I'll figure out something.Maybe those poll workers take shifts.Stop hiding in your little cave like a--Like, you know. Like the-- the--the--- I really don't wanna do this again. - No, the--No. No. The big one, like, uh, the monster furry one.Ay, why can't I remember any animal names?Climb aboard the Dunphy Express.Next stop--democracy.- Well--no, no... - Please don't go.I won't do that anymore. I promise.Oh. Uh, we need to make a quick stop.I gotta pick up my new glasses.No can do. I, uh...I got a lot of people waitin', so...It'll just take two minutes.I can't even see the ballot without my glasses.I mark the wrong box,next thing you know I'll be married to a guy.Yeah, I-- I don't think it's mandatory, Walt.I'm a good dancer. They'll come for me.Oh, yeah.They will break all your buttons...and say you brought it in that way.Okay, go, go, go!Turns out we had a lot of axes to grind.And a hybrid, so there was virtually no stopping us. Do not see that movie!You will neither laugh nor cry!"Best pizza in the city"?Not even the best pizza on this street.They do not do the hair of the people on those pictures! "Totally free checking"?Don't bank on it!Okay, that was really fun,But now we gotta go back to campaigning for Claire. We've been saying that for two hours.Yes, but now I-I really mean it.- Oh, my god, there's Sandy! - Sandra Bullock? Yeah, Sandra Bullock.We're such good friends, I call her "Sandy," So... No, Sandy who works at Lily's preschool.- Right there. - Oh, yeah.- You know, she got engaged. - No!- To the gay boyfriend? - Totally.Oh, how does she not see it?If I was with somebody that gorgeous,I'd overlook a few quirks, too.First of all, thank you.Second of all...point well taken.I don't know. Poor Sandy. I feel so bad for her.- Well, it's better than being alone. - Is it?She's looking over here.- Oh, my god. - Mitchell, you're sitting on the button.What? No--no, I'm not. No, I'm not!The--it's stuck!And you're the one that had it last- when you were talking to the cheese shop! - Because you know what? If you advertise truffle cheese,- there are certain expectations... - Hi, Sandy.Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Claire Dunphy.- What a beautiful name. - She used to be a citizen.I'm calling on behalf of Claire Dunphy for town council.All right. How about this?if you vote for Claire Dunphy...You won't have to pay taxes for the rest of your life.Vote for Claire!Luke! What are you doing?You can't say that!Oh, like she'd be the first politicianto make a promise she can't keep.Well, maybe I don't want to talk to you, either. Maybe you are the one that is bothering me!How do you like that? Eh?Gloria, I'm gonna have to ask you againto please stick to your script.But everybody's saying no to me!I don't get it.Usually when I ask someone to do something,they just do it!Maybe it's because these people can't see you.I don't like it.Can't you just hook me up to some sort of camera? Well, thank you, Maggie, for the vote.Okay. Bye-bye.Here's your seat.Thank you. Um, you'll have to excuse me.I'm a little nervous. I've never been on the radio before. Don't worry about it.- Just think of it as a conversation. - Okay.Here are your headphones. Volume control.- Don't get too far from the mike. - Okay.Make sure your cell phone's off.Oh. Cell phone. Right. Um...And you're not chewing gum, are you?No, I'm not. I just had some temporarydental work done.The last thing I need--And welcome back to "A matter of record."I'm Cecil Van Gundy.Joining us now in studio is district 43town council candidate Claire Dunphy.Thank you, Cecil.It's a pleasure to be here.So... You're a first-time candidate.Tell us what got you involved.It all started with a, um...With a stop sign.I was concerned about safety in our neighbourhood and I was not getting any satisfaction from city hall. What's wrong with mom?Oh, this isn't good.She sounds drunk!That's not her drunk voice.Tell us about some of the other issues facing our town. Where do you stand on the city'ssewage and sustainability initiative,the so-called S.S.I.?One cannot really talk abouts-s-sewage and sustainabilitywithout first discussing... recycling.This city can do more...- What the hell's wrong with her? - with the recycling program... She sounds drunk!- ...currently... - It's a tooth thing.What's wrong?Oh, I'm almost out of air. Oh, boy.Is that serious?Is oxygen serious?You know what? I lost a ton of time getting your glasses.I'm just gonna drop you at home.You can get your air. I can drive other people.I don't have any more tanks at home.Why? That seems like bad planning.Well, I forgot to order them.My pills make me forget things.Oh, shoot! I gotta take my pill!Please tell me you have it with you.Of course I do, but I have to take 'em with food.- Don't I? - Are you asking me?Uh, yes! I do take them with food!Ooh. I don't feel so well.Okay, I'll get you whatever you want!I'll get you the air, I'll get you the food.Then I'll vote for your drunk wife.That is not her drunk voice!Thank you so much for voting.We appreciate it.Hi. I'm terribly sorry. Excuse me. Jay Pritchett. Uh, can I get in-- in and out really quick?Thank you. This is all I needed.Thank you very much. Thank you very much.All right. Claire, Claire, Claire.Claire, Claire-- ahh, ahh. Here.I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!Hello, Dottie!Jay! It's so nice to see you!- Is it? - Oh, why wouldn't it be?That was a long time ago. Water under the bridge. - We're good. - Oh, that's great.Thank you so much for voting.You remember my daughter Claire. She's--She's running for town council.- Oh, isn't that neat? - Yeah, I'm so proud.So you're gonna put it in there, huh?Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Definitely.cause every vote counts, you know.Thank you so much for voting.- You know... - Yeah.Boy, I'd sure like to see the sweet sightof my vote... counting.Why would I say I'd do something and not do it? That would make me a liar...instead of a trusting widowWho fell asleep in the warm embraceof a man who promised to make breakfast.Okay, here it is.Look, I am so sorry.You were the first woman I'd been with besides my ex--35 years.I panicked.An-and it wasn't 'cause y-you weren't pretty nakedor anything like that.I'd have run from Angie Dickinson.- Oh, lucky her. - Dottie--- Good-bye, Jay! - Dottie, Dottie, please.I'm just trying to get my ballot in the box.oh, yeah, that sounds familiar.Yeah, but you don't have to do anything.Just let me put it in!Uhh. Shouldn't have said that.We are so sorry.We did not mean for you to hear any of that.Yes, and you know what?We shouldn't have been gossiping in the first place. But what if you're right?What if Gregory is gay?When my mom said it, I didn't believe her.She lives in Iowa.But coming from you two!- Means nothing. - No.We barely know your fiance.- If he says he's straight, he's straight. - Mm. Straight. We're getting married in a month.People are flying in.He signed us up for dance classes.Oh, my god!No. No, no, no. Hey.- This is what gays do. - Yeah.- We gossip. - We gossip a lot.He gossips!No. No. You're missing the point, okay?We see a great-looking guy like Gregory,and we say he's gay because we want him to be gay! - Really? Really? Are you sure? - Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Look at what we do with movie stars. Okay.You know? Hugh Jackman-- he sings, he dances,He's dreamy!So obviously we would want him on our team!- Yeah. - But he's straight.Trust me, I know.I said hello to him once in a restaurant,and there was absolutely no chemistry.Well, if that isn't proof...Three weeks later, Sandy and Gregory got married,and everyone said the wedding was beautiful.Gregory did the flowers....Which is perfectly normal for a straight guy.The Greeks do one thing right, and it's lamb!All right. Let's go vote.Why the hell does your wife want to be a politician, anyway? You heard her. She wanted to put upa stop sign at Bristol and Greenleaf,But then she ran into--Wait, wait, wait!That's near where I live!Yeah. We're neighbors. Let's go!No way I'm voting for that!Too much government already.I didn't fight a war so some politiciancould tell me where I have to stop my car.You don't even drive!That's 'cause that Barack Obama took my license away.I don't think he was involved in the decision!I left the house today to get 50 votes for my wife.I'm not going home with zero.The least you can do is walk right in thereand punch a hole for the womanwho drags your garbage can up your driveway every Tuesday!I don't like it! Goes against everything I believe in.Really? A stop sign?!But I'll do it, 'cause you're a good kid.And I had a nice day...till you started yelling at me.So sorry. Thank you.Here you go.You know, my wife was an alcoholic, too.Okay. Let's just go vote.That's veteran political reporterWalter Shapiro.Hi, everyone!- Any news? - Not yet, not yet,But even if I lose, at least now I knowI have a future in radio.I couldn't. People need to see me.Before we get the results, I just want to thank you all for everything you've done for me.Mitch and Cam, for campaigning for me all dayin your little Claire-mobile.- It's the least we could do. - Yeah.Literally.We probably did more for Hugh Jackman's career than we did for Claire's.And, Manny and Gloria,thank you for making all those phone calls.And, dad...for all your support.I don't think I convinced anyone to vote for Claire.I don't think I even voted.And my husband...who drove aroundI don't know how many senior citizens today to the polls.One.And my beautiful children,whose faith has given me the confidenceto believe that I can do this.I can--oh.- Somebody else answer it. I lost. - Mom. Mom.- I can feel it. I-- - Mom.You can do it. Mom. Answer the phone.Hello?This is she.Thanks so much for calling.Bye-bye.I have some bad news.Because someone's gonna be busy now that she's a councilwoman? No, no, I wasn't doing that fake thing.- I really lost. I lost. - Ay, no.I'm so sorry. But you know what?We are still just so proud of you.[哀悼克莱尔]Yeah! I-- I don't know about you,But, um... I could use a glass of wine.Ohh. Now you're gonna hear her drunk voice. Mom?You okay?Yes. Fine. I'm good.I'm fine. I'm not fine. I wanted to win,And... and I'm so embarrassed.I mean, everybody out here worked so hard for me, and they believed in me,and I let 'em down.Oh, honey.Oh, sweetheart.Well, don't cry. I'm gonna be fine, sweetie. Really, I am.Just knowing you care so much makes me feel better. No, I got four rejection lettersI never told you guys about.What?I got rejected from U.C.S.B., Oregon, Wisconsin... - Oh, no. - And Northwestern.Well, we were overshooting on that one.What about, uh...It came today. My last chance.I'm too scared to open it.Whatever it says in there,your father and I are crazy proud of you.Okay?I did start trying this year.I know you did. You did.You have nothing to be ashamed of.Neither do you.It's a little bit different.No, it's exactly the same.Except you tried really hard the whole time,not just at the end.You're right.It is the same.We have nothing to be ashamed of...So let's open that together.Yeah, open it.What? No! What are you doing here?No. Come on, haley. We believe in you.Do it!You can always work for me.Come on. You can do it. You can do this.- Come on, Haley. - All right.Open. Open, open, open."Dear Miss Dunphy,We regret to inform you..."Oh, honey."While we cannot offer you admission at this time, "You are a promising candidate, and thereforeWe would like to place you on our wait list!" Oh, my god, I got wait-listed!We will take it!Yeah!Congratulations! Congratulations!Our daughter might be going to college!Phil, look.A stop sign.It's addressed to you."Dear Claire, I won. You lost."Here's your stupid stop sign."Next time you think about bothering me, "Please take its advice.Your councilman, the honorable Duane Bailey." Honey, you did it!I did it.I made our neighborhood a little bit safer.I may have even saved life.You idiot, there's stop sign! Can't you read?we need speed bumps.No, no. No! Honey!。
摩登家庭 -第2季第16集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Morning.- Hey. - You sleep all right?No, you?- Say no, Phil. - Of course no.I missed you up there.Last night, I know I got kind of carried away -- No, no, no. You don't need to apologize.I don't think that I was apologi--You were right to be mad.Sometimes I just feel like I have to screamto let you know how upset I am,but you get it now, right?I...do.Not.No idea whatsoever.Ohh, if I knew, but...no.Good.So let's pretend the whole thing never happened. What were we even fighting about, huh?What the heck happened in here?The raccoon get through the dog door again?Yep. The raccoon got in,and your mom fought it off with the fire extinguisher. You're a mess!Are you okay?Careful, buddy. Not today.I think you look beautiful.Save it.One time I forgot to get Gloria a birthday present,and I paid for it.Another time I remembered, but she didn't like the gift.I paid for that.So you'd think when I remember to buy her a giftand she loves it,I wouldn't have to pay for it, right?Just call me angel of the morning, angelJust touch my cheek before you leave me, babyOh, hey, good.Grab the other end of this and help me get it out of here.I have to start setting up the chairs for tonight.- Oh, tonight? What's tonight? - Are you kidding me? This is what I'm talking about Mitchell.You never listen when I --It's a fundraiser for the friendsof the third street overpass music society.Two harpists are performing,and you're anxious 'cause Andrew,Your nemesis from the steering committee,ran the event last year,and you want to upstage him.I was kidding.Cam has it in his headthat I don't listen to him, but I do.Do you, Mitchell? Do you?The doctor called and saidLily's rash is just dry skin.I'm so relieved.What did I just say?You act like you listen to every single thing that I say,but you don't.Don't I, Mitchell?Hey, I'm going to the store today.Do you need me to pick anything up for you?Razor blades, saline solution, black socks,and the new issue of Vanity Fair.Wow. I don't even remember asking for all that.Thank you.Don't I?How'd this thing come off, anyway?Well, I was cooking dinner, and --Right.And the raccoon just walked in the --And I already had the door open.- Right. - Which I-I had already had ahold of the --Why don't you two go work on your story and come back? - Okay. - Okay.I won't be home till late.I have another shift at the restaurant.That's our working girl.Let the river run, honey.Let the river run, honey.Check it! $57 in tips from last night.Honey, that's impressive. You know what?$57 from you, $57 from us --You keep this up,we are going to be buying you a car by the summer. Mom, is this "upscale casual"?What?Oh, yeah. Cam hired Luketo help out with the benefit tonight.Hey, you know what? I can't fix this thing.What? I need that. I use it every day.Okay, Phil, what do you say?You want to take a trip to the mall with me?I...do.Not,if I can possibly avoid it.Claire has this little...habit...at the mall, where sh--I can't even talk about it.Jay, come on!I want to go homebecause you said you were going to film me doing thekaraoke so I can send it to Colombia to my mother. Claire, um, about the mall?I was actually gonna run outand get my hair cut this afternoon.Well, hang on here.Why don't I run claire down the mall,and you give Phil a haircut?You're always talking abouthow you miss working at the salon.I guess I could.I do jay. Why can't I do you?You...can do me.Okay, let's get this party started.Okay, let's get this party started.You know that song?Let's go, let's go! We're wasting time!- O-okay, okay. - Yeah.- You know it? - I think I do.So, that was Andrew,who practically choked telling methat no one had called in their regretsfor the event tonight.It is gonna be a full house.Oh, that must feel great!Oh, I never thought I would enjoy having an arch enemy. Oh. But I do, Mitchell. I do. Hmm.Hey, Lily, what you got there?I do feel bad for those PETA folks.I do feel bad for those PETA folks.Their event's tonight, too.That's why I had you mail the invitations so long ago.I shouldn't laugh.I do feel bad for those little PETA animals.I really do.What are you doing?Nothing. She was, uh --she was, uh, sucking her thumb again.Yes, I put Cam's invites in my carto take them to the post officeand then threw my gym bag on top of themand completely forgot they existed.Ohh, I feel terrible.Haven't been to the gym in six weeks.And I ruined Cam's event.Hello, Miss Hartwick.Uh, Cam and I are hostinga little event tonight, and --Yes, yes.No, I am aware that there is also a PETA event,and -- ohh.Who are you talking to?I'm in the shower!Luke, how are those chairs coming?Come in.I think you should come in come in.Oh, now I'm worried about the flow.The eyes should go to the harps, not the backs of chairs. Are you gonna get upsetand starting eating all the appetizers again?It is amazing what you notice and what you don't notice. Please handle that. I need to think.Come on, Luke.Hi, there. Your father home?I think so. Why?Oh, oh! The wait staff.Please, luke, show them to the kitchen, please.Knock knock.Oh. Hello, Andrew.Nice chair backs.I just thought you could use this.It's the sign-in book for my event last year.Let just turn to the blank pages,Which should be...Oh. No. It's full.Oh, well, thank you for thinking of us,but shouldn't you be getting back home to Donald? That is the name of your cat, isn't it?I'll see you at 7:00.Drive safely.What did I tell you?She's even worse than you said.Hold still!You can't move like that.It's like cutting the hair of a cuckoo bird.I'm sorry. I'm just a little tense today.I knew it. Something happened.Because when somebody works in a salon,they know when someone needs to talk.Actually, you might be able to help me with this one. Claire and I got into a huge fight last night......and I'm not even sure what it was about.Was that why you didn't want to go to the mall with her? No, that was... more about a weird...mall habit claire has.Oh, my god! That's good!Oh, oh! Go low, go low.Go low, go low. Oh! Oh!Oh, my god!Dad! Dad!You got to get one of these! Oh!It is impressive how much Haley's earning.She's over $500 already.That's a lot of cheddar.Why's everyone actinglike she's the first 17-year-old to have a job?In other cultures, she'd have two kids already,and they'd have jobs.You know, I stopped by the restaurant a couple times, and she wasn't there.When?Uh, I don't remember.I was at the mall for a movie.Think! I need details!Okay, it was a romantic comedyMy now ex-friend Reuben recommended --Not about the movie! What day?! Focus!Okay, uh, it was Tuesday,But I also ate there again on Saturday,and she wasn't there then, either.Oh, my god.I bet she doesn't even work there.Well, then, where's all this money coming from?Do you notice how every single nightis just under $60?Grandpa gave her $60 for her birthday.She's just hanging around the mall all day,flashing the same cash every night,and fooling my parents into buying her a car.Hey, dad!Can we eat at Haley's restaurant tonight?!Hey, there's a good idea!Great. I'll text her.Oh, god, no!Oh, god, yes!Oh! Oh, god, yes!Oh, get after it!Amazing.I'm going for 15 more on me.I think you got what you needed from that.Oh. Okay. Thank you.You know, maybe you do need to talk about this fight. With Phil?How could you not know what she was mad about? Because she didn't tell me. She just freaked out.I cannot believe you, Phil!How could you?!What is happening? What -- what did I do?Are you serious?You are! You don't know.We've had this conversation a hundred times.You know -- no, no.I'm not -- I'm not doing this again.You tell me what you did.- Was it -- - "Was it --"No, Phil.No. No, no, no. No!- I'm going to get some air. - Claire.- Claire! -No! Don't follow me.Happy valen-birth-iversary!Storming off --right out of yr mom's playbook.Where'd you go?Well, as it turns out, not very far.Damn it.Phil!Phil, you moron, stop it!- It's me, you idiot! - I'm sorry!What are you doing?!I'm sorry!I thought you were a raccoon!You thought I was a raccoon!Because people look so much like raccoons. Oh, look.There's one now!No, claire, no! Claire!Wait a minute.Not even crazy woman go crazy for no reason. What happened before the broccoli?That's just it -- it came out of the blue.I walked in the door,we're having a conversation about nothing. Hey, honey.Sorry I got stuck at the office.How was your day?It was good.- Although you know what? - What?Debbie stood me up for lunch.Rude, right?No. She called.I didn't get a message.Yeah. You did.I left you one.It's right...there.That's it!How is she supposed to see this?If you give me a message this tiny,I kill you.But that's not when she got mad.Also, I talked to the insurance companyabout that little accident that "wasn't your fault" because the brakes weren't "working right."And that's not gonna cost us as much money as I thought, so that's good.That's it!You insult a woman's driving,and you use the "air bunnies."and you use the "air bunnies."You do that to me, and I kill you.I hear you,but the screaming still hadn't started yet.So, I'm having lunch with Skip Woosnum, right? Boy, can that guy go on and on.Tangent after tangent.By the way, turned me on to the greatest thing -- wedge salad -- you gotta try it.Anyhoo...Guess who's sitting at the table next to us.My old girlfriend Carla.We're gonna grab coffee.She lost a ton of weight.How stupid are you?You tell me that you're seeing an old girlfriend, and I -- Kill me, I know.But she still hadn't snapped yet.I almost forgot.I picked up the broccoli you asked for. Cauliflower.Can't believe I did that again.Can't believe I did that again.I cannot believe you, Phil!You didn't do one thing wrong.You do everything wrong!I don'even know why she talks to you.She said she was okay.No. No woman is okay with this.We don't forget.We wait.And then, when you least expect it,we make you pay.Chin up!Up!So you had a meltdown over that.I did, because ever since I met him,I've been trying to get Phil to try a wedge salad.The minute that Skip Woosnum,whom he doesn't even like, suggests it,Phil thinks it's the greatest thing ever,and he does this with everything.He does it with books, with movies, with tv.He listens to everybody's opinion but mine,And it drives me crazy.You two seemed fine this morning.Well, we were because we talked about it,which, by the way,if you want this whole karaoke thing with Gloria to go away, That's what you need to do.That's easier said than done.Well, since when do you shy away from confrontation, Mr. Tough Talk, Mr. Straight shooter?Getting a little soft, grandpa?You know, when you get a massage,you sound like a Tijuana prostitute. Luke, phone.Friends of the third street --Is that Mitchell? What's taking him?No, it's not Mitchell. It's...I don't understand his name.Hello?Oh, hi, Longinus. Listen,did you get my message?About the chiavari chairs --I want you to bring them when you come. What do you mean you're not -- not coming? Well, that's not possible.Mitch -- Mitch mailed them weeks ago. What about Pepper? Did he get his?And Michael?And Steven and Stefan?And Bob?I have to go.Get me your uncle Mitchell.I don't know his number.It went to voicemail.Of course it did.Keep trying him until you get him.it's one button.Hey, really great event tonightbenefiting the music society -- musicians like you. Uncle Cam for uncle Mitchell.How could you, Mitchell?!Honestly! Give me that.You want to hear the guest list for night?So far it's anger, betrayal, terror, and sadness. Congratulations, Mitchell, you packed the house! Cam, I am so sorry.I-I-I'm gonna fix it. I'll make a big donation. That's not gonna keep themfrom kicking me off the steering committee! When Andrew walks in hereand sees a room full of empty chairs --You know he's not really your archenemy.That's sort of a made-up thing.Fix it!- Hi! You came! - Hi!Of course we did. We wanted to see you work. We're so proud of you, sweetheart.Yeah, we're all proud. So where's our table? Actually, bad news.We totally booked.We have a ton of reservations.Yeah, one's ours. I called.Uh, so, your table is right here.Oh, honey, would you mind getting us a couple drinks?I would love an iced tea.Same, please.I'll have a mango-kiwi smoothie,yogurt instead of ice cream, and make it low-fat.I want to look good when I'm riding in your new car. Honey, I got to say,I like this haircut.Hey, we're all just playing for second in this family. Were you all done here?Uh, actually, no.Um, I will have more iced tea,Another iced tea,and a mango-kiwi smoothie,all ice cream.I'm pregnant.Well, this is nice.Me, my gals,and my beautiful, beautiful wife.Just so you know, I rescheduled with Carla.I penciled her in for the 12th...of never.That's too bad.I was kind of looking forwd to hearing about that one.no one called for you while you were out.Thank you?I just want to make sure you get any messagesfrom any friends who might call, which none of them did. Isn't it weird that Haley's the only one herenot wearing a name tag?If your mother had a name tag,it would say "Good driver."- Phil -- - Here you go.I want to hear the specials.- Uh, we're out of specials. - What were they?Popular, which you wouldn't understand.Well, what could be betterthan drinks with a beautiful woman?And every beautiful woman deserves flowers. Cauliflowers.Okay. What's going on? Is this about last night?Yeah, I just want you to know how important to me you are. Sweetie, I know that. I know that.I still feel bad about, you knowwhat I...did.Listen to me.You and I are fine.Okay?I'm just really hungry.Okay?Okay.Okay.All right!What looks good?Oh, gosh.Ooh, here's something that jumps right off the page. Uh-huh. I tried this yesterday,thanks to my good friend Skip Woosnum. Claire, do yourself a favorand join me in a wedge salad.You have got to be kidding me!Just try it. You will thank me.Did you learn nothing from last night?It was about the salad?I have been recommending wedge salads to you, amongst other things, for years,and you never listen to me.And then some idiot suggests it,and you can't wait to try a wedge salad?!It makes me feel like I don't matter.Thanks a lot, dad!Mom's little outburst just got me fired!Okay, I got to talk to your mom.You comfort your sister.She never worked here!So, Mitchell called you, too.I take it you haven't had your conversation with Gloria yet? It's getting worse.She sang all the way here.We passed two cars --the dogs stuck their heads back inside the window.What are we gonna do?- I could start a fire. - No.Keep that in your back pocket.I want to show you something.Let me guess.It's a copy of "The Book Thief"that I begged you to read,but you wouldn't until your dental hygienistsaid it changed her life.- Remember this? - Uh-huh.It's the first thanksgiving I spent with your family.God, I hated that ponytail.I know.You said it made me look like a wimpy bouncer,so I cut it off.Just like I lost the feathered earring...and the van with the beanbag chairs.And I changed my forestry major.I get it, Phil. I get it.I am the controlling witch- that made you give up everything fun in your l-- - No. No. You're the witch who saved me.Look. Look at this picture.Now look at this guy.You can't tell me your opinion doesn't matter.You changed me for the better in a hundred different ways. Yeah, I-I might miss a book or a saladhere and there, but...I've got Claire all over me.You're about to.That's the worst sound in the world.Is it?Friends, uh, family, uh, board members --"Bored" is right."Bored" is right.I know we were all looking forwardto hearing the beautiful stylings of harp attack,but there has, unfortunately, been a slight --Don't start yet!delay,and the program will start in a few minutes, on time.Uh, so, please, everyone take their seats.Thank you.Oh, my god, you did it!Sort of.I know this isn't what you were hoping for,but I need to do a better job of listening to you. No, no, you did the best you could,and, plus, this is double what Andrew had last year and, plus, this is double what Andrew had last year for "Cello submarine."Thank you.Oh -- how are you sitting at a harpand not scoring this moment? Ladies!You can't have a successful marriagewithout being a good listener.Sometimes it takes a little work...I just wonder what they're gonna dowith their lives, you know?I just wonder how they can actually, you know, ever find their true calling with a harp....sometimes it takes a lot of work...Harps!...and sometimes it's just excruciating.Jay, come. I work out another song.Gloria.Gloria.No!No, no, no, no, no, no, no!I can't take it anymore!Okay? It's not singing, it's screaming.Mom, I love you, but for the love of god,destroy that thing before it destroys this family! Coward!I think you sound great,but if it bothers e kid...Coward!Oh Danny boyThe pipes, the pipes are callingFrom glen to glen, and down the mountain side The summer's gone, and all the roses...You keep this up,and this won't be the last plug I pull.。
摩登家庭 -第5季第13集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Hi, there. 你们好I'll be your server for tonight. 今晚由我为你们服务My name is Brian if you guys need anything. 我叫布莱恩有任何需要尽管叫我What's your name if we don't need anything? 如果我们没有任何需要该叫你什么Patricia. 帕特丽夏You're quick, Patricia! 反应很快嘛帕特丽夏Thanks. So, our specialty cocktail for tonight 谢谢我们今晚的特别鸡尾酒是is a basil-infused mojito. 罗勒莫吉托Oh, yum! We'll take three. 不错我们要三杯Uh, no. That's okay. I'm good. 不用了没关系我不想喝酒Come on, now. Join us for a specialty cocktail 拜托跟我们一起在这特别的夜晚- on our specialty evening. - Yeah. -喝杯特别的鸡尾酒吧 -就是- Three, please. - Okay. -请给我们三杯 -好的If you don't drink it, someone will. 你不喝的话会有人喝的Well, that Brian sure is a cutie, huh? 那个布莱恩真是个帅哥是吧I'd kill to have those lips. I mean on me. 我真想要那两片嘴唇我是说在我身上I mean I want his lips on my mouth. 我是说想要他的嘴唇在我嘴上Uh, can we just cut to the chase? 我们能直接切入正题吗He's got great lips. 他的嘴唇很性感No, no, no, no, no. What are we doing here? 不不不我们在这里干什么What is this about? 你们有什么目的Nothing! We just wanted to have a fun night out 没什么我们就是想跟我们的女儿with our daughter. 出来放松一下Yeah! Just think of us as your friends. 是啊就把我们当做你的朋友- Yeah! - I don't have 45-year-old friends. -是啊 -我可没有45岁的朋友Well, you don't have 45-year-old parents yet, either, honey, 你的父母也还没45岁呢亲爱的so calm down. 别激动Haley has no plan for her future whatsoever. 海莉对她的未来毫无规划She's living in our basement, 她住在我们的地下室里taking community-college classes, and, well, meandering. 在社区大学上课整天混日子So we're gonna take her out. We'll have some fun. 所以我们打算带她出去放松一下And then gently ease her 让她放松警惕into a friendly conversationabout her future. 跟我们友好地聊聊她的未来As opposed to the approach that we've taken in the past. 跟我们过去采取的方式截然不同Is this what you're gonna do with your life -- 你打算以后就干这个吗Sleep late and take a selfie?! 睡懒觉然后自拍Why are you always criticizing me?! 你为什么总是批评我Is this really how you want to start the day?! 你想这样开始新的一天吗My day started 5 hours ago. 我的一天五小时前就开始了I am under a lot of pressure! 我的压力很大How?! How?! You take three classes a week, 怎么大如何大你一周只有三节课and you miss half of them! 还逃了一半The parking is tricky! 车很难停Morning, sunshine. I saved you some lunch. 早上好宝贝我给你留了些午餐I get it, okay?! I'm lazy! God! 我知道了好吗我是很懒天呐You know what drives me crazy? 你知道我最烦什么吗Getting these customer-satisfaction calls during dinner. 晚餐期间接到询问客户满意度的电话They change the oil on your car, 他们给车换了油而已they want a love letter! 却期待着我写感谢信I know. I'm waiting for a call from my doctor's office -- 没错我还在等我的医生打来电话"Please rate your prostate exam. "请评价您的前列腺检查Would you say you were satisfied?" 您满意吗"I hope you weren't. 我希望你没有"I hope you weren't." "我希望你没有"That's a good one, Gloria! 这太好笑了歌洛莉亚Do you know how hard it is 你知道用第二语言to be funny in a second language, Jay? 幽默一下有多困难吗杰Esta Hermosa Dama es muy buena. 这位美丽的小姐真不错Ay, Darlene, you're learning Spanish? 达琳你在学西班牙语吗Yes, Shorty and I have been taking classes. 是啊小短和我开始上课了- We're getting good. - Oh, yeah. -我们越说越好了 -当然I es maravilloso! 太棒了You said "That's wonderful," right? 你说的是"太棒了" 对吗My Italian helps me. 我的意大利语功底帮了我Why the sudden interest in Spanish? 为什么突然对西语感兴趣Well, actually, there's something we have to tell you, 其实我们有件事想告诉你们you know? All right. How's this? We're- 好吧你们看如何我们- We're moving to Costa Rica! - Yeah! -我们要搬去哥斯达黎加啦 -是的- What?! - When? -什么 -什么时候In a couple of weeks. The cost of living is so low down there, 再过几周那里的生活成本很低you know? We found this beautiful place on the water. 我们在海边找了个美丽的地方It's got its own private beach. 还有自己的私人沙滩Bathing suits are optional. 泳衣可穿可不穿But encouraged. 但还是鼓励穿上Ay, I'm going to miss you guys. 我会想你们的Don't worry about it. I give it three months, tops. 别担心我赌他们最多能坚持三个月You hate the beach. And you know how humid it is down there? 你讨厌沙滩你知道那里有多潮湿吗I love the steam room at the club. 我爱俱乐部的蒸汽房It's the same thing, except I don't have to see you 都一样的除了我再也不用看着你sitting there like a pile of melted ice cream. 像一滩化了的冰淇淋一样摊在那里'cause you're Tom Selleck in a towel. 而你披着毛巾就像汤姆·塞立克I'm just ready for an adventure. 我已经准备好冒险了I want to try something new. 我想尝试些新事物Stick around here. Pick up a check every now and then. 待在这里偶尔交个帐单Why do you always have to be so negative? 你为什么总是这么消极I think it's great. 我就觉得很好No, you're right. I'm sorry. 不你说得对我很抱歉I'm surprised, that's all. 我就是有点吃惊仅此而已Let's toast this amazing new chapter of your lives. 我们来为你们美好的生活新篇章干一杯吧To mosquitoes the size of your fist. 敬拳头大小的蚊子This is why all your friends move away. 难怪你的朋友们一个个都搬走了To us, alone at last. 敬我们终于有独处时间了We both look very handsome tonight. 我们两个今晚看起来都很帅You know, if you -- if you'd just said 如果如果你只说that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." 我看起来很帅我就会说你也是I couldn't take that chance. 我不敢冒险I wanted to get off on the right foot. 我想有个良好的开端Mitchell and I desperately need 米奇尔和我急需一个a romantic night out to reconnect. 浪漫的夜晚来重燃激情Yeah. I don't -- 是啊我不I don't know if it's the stress of planning a wedding, 我不知道是不是因为筹划婚礼压力太大but we've been a little tense with each other lately, huh? 但我们最近的关系有点紧张Even our friend J'marcus said how bitchy we've been.连我们的朋友马库斯都说我们最近很暴躁What -- when did he say that? 什么他什么时候说过这话Oh, at Pepper's party 在胡娇的派对上that night you wore those pants that don't fit you anymore. 那晚你穿了那条不太合适的裤子Oh, right. And you brought that bad wine that everybody hated. 没错而你带了一瓶大家都讨厌的酒- See? We really need this. - We really do. -瞧我们真的很需要 -真心的Oh, you know, uh, Pepper said 那天胡娇说that for our cake tasting, 为了我们的蛋糕试吃we needed to have -- 我们得...Remember our rules -- no wedding talk, no Lily talk. 我们说好的不谈婚礼不谈莉莉I'm sorry. No, you're right. 抱歉好吧你是对的So, just gonna... 那么我们聊聊...Should we hear the specials again? 我们再听一遍招牌菜怎么样We can't ask him a third time. 不能再让他重复第三遍了You know what I might try when I'm down there? 你知道我搬过去以后会做什么吗Surfing. 冲浪So it's gonna be a closed casket. 那看来你的遗体无法供亲友瞻仰了[死得很惨]My turn. 该我了What are you talking about? I just sunk the 3 ball. 你在说什么我刚刚打进了3号球Then you moved the cue ball with your stick 然后你的杆子碰到了白色球while you were telling me how you were gonna move away 就在你跟我讲要从南加州搬走from Southern California to try surfing. 去学冲浪的时候I didn't touch the cue ball. 我没碰白色球Yeah, I know. But you did. 是啊我知道但你就是碰了You're calling me a cheater? You? 你说我是骗子吗你The guy on the golf course who can't seem to count higher than 5?一个打高尔夫最多数到5杆的家伙Maybe I can't keep track of my shots 我忘记杆数是因为because somebody won't stop talking. 我身边总有个家伙喋喋不休It is in my nature to comment on 那是因为我天生就爱the bizarre and unusual things I see in the world, 对看到的奇闻异事发表评论like that convulsion you call a golf swing. 比如你总是将胡乱一击称为挥杆You know what? I'm done here. 你猜怎么着我不打了No, I've done. 是我不打了I will not have my integrity questioned here. 我不能站在这里接受你对我人品的质疑I was a Marine. 我参加过海军I served with guys who died. 一同服役的伙伴有些都为国捐躯了Of old age! 那是老死的You never left the states! 你连国门都没出过Are you saying I didn't serve my country? 你是说我没为国家效力吗Which one, America or Costa Rica? 哪个国家美国还是哥斯达黎加What's with you and Costa Rica?! 你干嘛老跟哥斯达黎加过不去It's a terrible idea! 因为那是个糟糕的主意You get into things without thinking, 你总是头脑发热冲动做决定and you need to be rescued, 你需要被当头棒喝like that time you bought that car 就像上次你买的那辆车that was supposed to turn into a boat! 说什么可以变成一条船- Yeah? - It turned into a reef! -怎么了 -结果变成沉船That's 'cause you left your door cracked open! 那是因为你手贱没关车门Yes, it was my fault. 是啊又变成我的责任了Mark my words -- 记住我的话Costa Rica is another amphibicar 哥斯达黎加就是下一个at the bottom of a lake. 沉在湖底的水下汽车Only this time, I won't be bailing you out! 只不过这一次我不会再捞你起来了Who asked you?! 谁要你捞了Darlene, we're going! 达琳我们走Wha-- wha-- what do you mean, we're going? 怎么了为什么要走Gracias, Gloria. 谢谢款待歌洛莉亚That was a lovely dinner. 晚餐很棒And you are an incredible woman for putting up with this gringo!你能忍受得了这个家伙实在太伟大了- Come on! - What happened? -快点 -怎么回事Good luck in Costa Rica! 祝你在哥斯达黎加有好运- Aw, thanks, Jay. - He didn't mean it! -谢谢你杰 -他在说反话I know! I'm trying to defuse the tension. 我知道我只是想缓和下气氛- Here we go, guys. - Oh, yeah! -上酒了 -太棒了- Three more Mojitos. - Yum! -再来三杯莫吉托 -好喝极了Aren't these yum? 是不是美味到爆啊I didn't even drink the first one. 我第一杯都没碰过Are you sure? 'cause I don't think it drank itself. 你确定吗它总不会平白无故消失了吧No, it did not. 是啊确实不是Look, I have no problem drinking. 我喝酒一点问题都没有I can literally do it standing on my head. 说真的姐倒立着都能喝酒But, "A," not with my parents, 但是首先我不跟爸妈一起喝and plus, also, I needed to stay sharp, 其次我得保持清醒because they were obviously up to something, 因为他们显然醉翁之意不在酒and I was in no mood. 而且我也没心情喝酒I barely got 10 hours of sleep last night. 昨晚我才睡了不到10个小时So, I'll go get you guys some more water, 我给你们再拿点水and your food should be out in just a few minutes. 主菜应该马上就来了Thanks so much, pal. We appreciate it. 谢谢你伙计你的服务很周到He seems like a real go-getter, huh? 他看上去真是积极进取啊对吧Oh, 'cause he goes and gets things? 因为他总是"进"厨房"取"东西吗I wonder what he wants to do with his life. 我想知道他对人生有什么规划I wonder that about people all the time. 我总是很好奇别人的人生规划I think that's very common, 我觉得这很正常to wonder about other people's aspirations. 想知道其他人的志向I do it all the time. 我总是这样- Yeah, you do. - Yeah. Here we go. -是你是这样 -好了水来了Hey, Brian, you're a young guy. 布莱恩作为一个年轻人Wha-- wha-- what do you want to do after this? What's your plan? 你在这之后想做点什么有什么规划吗Uh, to be perfectly honest, 说实话I'm probably gonna go home, watch a movie, and get high. 我大概会回家看看电影再磕点药You guys looking for something to do? 你们在考虑饭后的活动吗No. No. No. 不不不Oh. I mean, I think I got extra. 我还有点存货No, no, that's -- 不用了你真是...I-I think he meant your plan for your life, 他是在问你对人生的规划not -- not just tonight. 不是指今天晚上Oh. I want to be a screenwriter. 我想当编剧- Ambitious. - And -- and so interesting. -很有理想 -真有意思Isn't that interesting, Haley? 是不是啊海莉- Sure. - You should tell him what you're doing. -当然了 -你应该跟他说说你的事Oh, you mean after we all go get high with Brian? 你是说在我们一起跟布莱恩嗑完药之后吗That's not happening. 那是不可能的I'm sorry. I meant that -- 很抱歉拒绝你我是说No, I know what you meant. 我知道你们的意思Hey, Brian, could you give us a second? 布莱恩你可以回避一下吗Uh, ye-- sure. 好当然So this is what this whole night's about -- 这就是你们今天带我来的原因the drinks, the pretending to be my friend? 鸡尾酒假装是我朋友都是幌子We are your friend. 我们确实是你的朋友Honey, we care about you. 亲爱的我们很关心你And we want to make sure that you -- you've got a plan, 我们想确定你有自己的人生规划'cause it seems like you're meandering. 因为看上去你在混日子No. Sweetie, don't just start texting 别这样亲爱的不要每次谈到because you don't like the conversation. 你不喜欢的话题就开始玩手机- Here. - What is this? -看 -这是什么That's a blog that I've been doing. 这是我一直在写的博客I'm really liking my photography, 我真的很喜欢我拍的照片and people always say that they like the way that I dress, 别人也总说他们喜欢我的穿衣风格so I've been posting pictures of my outfits on this site. 所以我就在这个网站上传我的穿着搭配I know it's not a huge money-maker right now, 我知道现在还赚不了多少钱but I do get money whenever someone clicks on a link 但每当有人点击链接买我穿的衣服时and buys something that I wore. 我就会有收入I'm gonna take a business class next semester, 下学期我会去上商务课which I'm hoping will help me turn all of this 希望能帮助我通过现在做的事into becoming a stylist. 成为一个造型师I have 1,200 followers. 我已经有1200个粉丝了Most are women who want to know what to wear. 多数是想知道怎样穿衣搭配的女人Some are men who want to know what I'm wearing, 还有一些想知道我穿什么的男人But, you know, I'm trying to figure a way 不过我已经在想办法to block all of the pervs. 屏蔽那些变态了So, yeah. I guess that is my plan. 所以这就是我的规划It's amazing. 真是太棒了We are so proud of you. 我们真为你骄傲Don't even, guys. You always assume the worst of me. 省省吧你们总是用恶意揣测我Honey -- 亲爱的No, you guys sit here 你们两个坐在那儿acting like we're drinking buddies, judging me, 假装是我的朋友却对我评头论足when I have a better handle on my future 事实是我对未来的规划比你们两个than either one of you did at my age. 在我这么大时能做到的都要好You? You wanted to be a magician. 你曾经想做个魔术师And you were changing your major every three minutes, 而你呢三分钟就换一次专业according to grandpa -- 这是外公告诉我的who, by the way, 顺便说一句has been drinking with me for years 我和外公一起喝酒好多年了because he loves me, 因为他爱我and he thinks I say funny things when I'm buzzed. 而且觉得我喝高了的时候说话很风趣Well, apparently, the situation in Syria is worsening. 很显然叙利亚局势日趋紧张I know. 是啊In fact, now U.N. evidence suggests that Assad was -- 现在联合国有证据显示阿萨德Are you reading this off your phone? 你是在照着手机念么What?! 什么You're -- 你在No! No! What -- 不是没有- I was just making sure my facts were straight... - Cam. -我只是在确认没有记错细节 -小卡...before I started a spirited conversation of current events. 以便我对当今局势高谈阔论Yeah. 好吧What else does it say? 还说什么了Thank you. 谢谢Sorry. Is that the tuna tartare? 不好意思那是金枪鱼鞑靼吗Yes, and it is delicious. 是啊很好吃Oh, I should've ordered it. 我应该点那个的Would you like a taste? 想尝一口吗Oh, no. But thank you. That's very sweet. 不用了但是谢谢你人真好She really means it. Uh, Katie loves sharing food. 她是认真的卡蒂喜欢跟别人分享食物Me, too. You know, I think 我也是我觉得it's growing up in a big family, 在大家庭里长大都会这样'cause everything at suppertime on the table 因为晚餐桌上的所有东西was up for grabs. 都是给大家一起吃的We didn't say grace. 我们不做饭前祷告We said, "On your marks, get set, go." 我们会说各就各位预备开吃You sound exactly like my dad. 你的语气跟我爸完全一样He was from this really big family in Missouri, and -- 他出生在密苏里一个很大的家庭里Shut up! 不是吧I'm a Missouri farm boy, myself! 我自己就是个密苏里的乡下孩子- Stop! - Oh, my gosh! I'm Cam. -不是吧 -天啊我叫小卡Well, right pleased to meet you, Cam. 很高兴认识你小卡This is Brandon. 这是布兰登Hi. She doesn't really talk like that. 你好她平常不这样说话的Oh, well, he slips in and out of his accent 他时不时也会有口音like Kate Winslet in "Titanic." 就像《泰坦尼克号》里的凯特·温丝莱特- Uh, I'm Mitchell, by the way. - Hi. -我叫米奇尔 -你好- Hi. - What -- what's yours, Brandon? -你好 -你点了什么布兰登It looks delicious, too. 看起来也很好吃It's the truffle parmesan gnocchi. 这是马铃薯干酪松露Do you know what, though? If you want a bite of that, 但是你知道吗如果你想尝一口那个you're barking up the wrong tree. 你就找错人了'cause that dish is in a strict no-share zone. 因为那是一个严格的不分享区I just -- 我只是I don't like people eating off my plate. 不喜欢别人从我的盘子里吃东西Yeah, because you're not an animal. I'm the same way. 因为我们不是动物我也一样Oh, my gosh! You're exactly us! 天啊我们完全一样No, you guys are more interesting, 不你们要更有趣'cause you have the whole gay thing. 因为你们基情四射Katie, you don't know if they're gay. 卡蒂你都不知道他们是不是Okay, that's adorable. 你真可爱Yeah, it was -- it was a pretty safe bet. 是啊我们的关系很明显Okay. I'm running to the powder room. 我要去下洗手间Cam, please try the tartare, 小卡尝尝这个because whatever you order, I want a taste. 一会儿不管你点了什么我也要尝尝Okay. Well, don't you dillydally, 没问题不过你要快点回来because I ain't exactly slow once I tie on the ol' feed bag! 因为我一挂上饲料袋就慢不下来Calm down, honey boo boo. 别激动亲爱的- She's so cute! - Very adorable. -她真可爱 -超级可爱So, Brandon, what do you do for a living? Are you -- 布兰登你是做什么工作的Look, guys. I-I hate to be blunt, 听我说伙计们我不想这么没礼貌but could you please give us some space? 但是你们能不能给我们一点空间Not a problem. 没问题Look, no -- no, it's -- 不不是I mean, you guys are great. But I'm gonna... 你们人很好只是我propose to Katie tonight. 我今晚要向卡蒂求婚And I'm kind of feeling -- yeah. 而我觉现在有点...What?! Here?! 什么在这吗Oh, my god! That's amazing! 天啊这太棒了We just got engaged a few months ago. 我们几个月前刚刚订婚Great. 太好了Yeah, so we will definitely give you your privacy. 所以我们一定会尊重你们的隐私- Congratulations. - Absolutely. -恭喜你 -是啊Yeah. Good luck. 祝你好运You know what? If you wanted, 这样吧如果你想的话I could pretend like I'm texting, 我可以假装在发短信and I could video the whole thing on my phone. 然后用手机把整个过程录下来That way, you'd have it forever. 这样你就能留作纪念了Really? I mean, that -- yeah. 真的吗好啊- That would be awesome. - A-are you sure? -那太好了 -你确定吗He gets very, uh, well, excited. 他很容易过于激动And he might give it away. 有可能会漏出马脚Mitchell, um, I think I know Katie well enough 米奇尔我觉得凭我对卡蒂的了解to tell if she's getting suspicious. 我能看出她有没有起疑心- Cam?! - She said I could. -小卡 -她说过我可以尝尝的The hell's the corkscrew? 见鬼的开瓶器去哪儿了Do you want to talk about it? 你想谈谈吗There's nothing to talk about! 没什么可谈的Shorty does dumb things all the time. 小短总是做傻事You mark my words -- in three months, 我打赌不出三个月he'll be back here needing money. 他就会花光钱滚回来了Maybe this is not about Shorty coming back. 也许你不高兴不是因为小短会滚回来Maybe this is about Shorty not coming back. 而是因为小短可能不会回来了Manny. 曼尼What she's saying is, deep down, 她的意思是在你内心深处you're afraid Shorty's going to love Costa Rica, 害怕小短会爱上哥斯达黎加and you'll lose your best friend forever. 你就永远失去自己最好的朋友了That's what you do. 你一直都是这样You push people away, so when they leave, 你故意疏远别人这样他们离开时it doesn't hurt that much. 你就不会那么难受I don't get it. You're the greatest generation, 我搞不明白你们这代人那么伟大but why can't you feel? 怎么就没有情感呢Why can't you spend your teen years 你怎么不能像其他青春期少年locked in your bedroom like a normal kid? 整天呆在房间不出来呢See? Now he's doing it to me. 看吧他现在在疏远我了Uh, you have to face it, Jay. 杰这是你必须面对的One day, I'll be moving out of this house. 我终有一天会搬出去Can I get that in writing? 你可以写个保证吗'cause I just can't shake this image of a 30-year-old you 我脑海里现在都是30岁的你eating my food and cuddling with my wife. 吃着我的食物还黏着我老婆Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers. 男孩子永远都该黏他们的妈妈I'm gonna have nightmares! 我会做噩梦的You pretend to be so tough. 你假装很强硬But you know what I think? 可你知道我怎么想吗I think that deep down, 我觉得事实上you're the most sensitive person in this house. 你才是这屋子里感情最细腻的人See? 看吧You did it again. 又开始了I say something that strikes a nerve, 一说到这种敏感的话题and immediately, you cannot handle it. 你就受不了了That's why you "Pbht" in my face! 所以你才这样逃避话题We just found the one thing you can't make sexy. 终于发现一个你不那么可爱的地方了There it is again. 又来了I need a drink. 我需要喝一杯Jay, you have to make this right with Shorty. 杰你得跟小短说清楚You have to tell him how you feel! 告诉他你的真实感受He has been a great compadre with you for many years. 他可是你那么多年的老朋友Besides, who else is going to laugh at your jokes? 除了他还有谁给你的笑话捧场Lots of people laugh at my jokes. 大把人欣赏我的笑话Name one person that doesn't work for you. 除了你的员工以外还有别人吗Hey, you know what? Why don't you two just go cuddle? 要不你们两个还是一边温存去吧Okay, here she comes. 她来了Stay calm. 淡定- You're gonna spoil it. - You stay calm. -你会露馅的 -你才要淡定Ooh, that looks good. What is it? 看起来真不错这是什么Um, uh, this is the grilled calamari. 这个是烤鱿鱼圈It's scrumptious. Would you care for a ring? 很美味的你要不要来一"环"I -- um, I mean, dig in there, girlfriend! 我是说你要不要尝一下亲Oh, no, that's okay. Thank you. 不用了谢谢This looks so delicious. 看起来超美味Yeah, mine's delicious, too. 我的也很美味Katie... 卡蒂You look so beautiful tonight. 你今晚真美You know, I-I've never met anyone like you, 要知道我从来没遇到过像你这么好的人and I know that I never will. And I... 我也知道不可能再遇到了I love you so much. 我好爱你Will you make me the happiest man on earth 你能让我变成世界上最幸福的男人吗- and be my bride? - What?! -嫁给我 -什么Oh, my god! 我的天啊- No! - No? -不行 -不行吗No! 不行Sorry. 对不起Did you know that this place used to be a bank? 你知道这里以前是个银行吗Was it, really? 真的哦I just -- I don't want to be married, Brandon. 我只是我不想结婚布兰登We'll end up like one of those couples 我们会变得跟那些that just sits there with nothing to talk about 相对无言的夫妻一样until we glom on to other people. 直到移情别恋I can't believe this. You -- you don't love me? 我简直不敢相信你你不爱我吗- NO! - NO? -不 -不爱吗- I'm sor... - NO! -对不起 -不I need some air. 我需要透透气So, Syria, any updates? 叙利亚那边有什么新情况- No, nothing yet. - Nothing. -还没什么 -没有啊Do you remember how cute she was when she was little 你还记得她小时候发不出"p"这个音- and she couldn't say her P's? - "BAKE A-TATOES." -有多可爱吗 -烤"堵"豆"Bake a-tatoes" and "Attlesauce". 烤"堵"豆还有"饼"果酱"Attlesauce"! "饼"果酱"Can I have attlesauce?" 能给我点"饼"果酱吗First of all, you're screaming. 首先你有点高了Can we just get the check, please? 我们可以买单了吗拜托Could you please not be mad at us anymore? 你可以不要生我们的气了吗We are very sorry that you felt manipulated. 我们很抱歉让你有被摆布的感觉You know what I'm pretty sure is ironic? 你们知道我觉得最讽刺的是什么吗You guys spend all this time worrying 你们花那么多时间担心about what I'm going to do, 我将来要做什么and maybe you should start thinking 但也许你们应该开始思考一下about what you're going to do. 你们要做什么了What are you talking about? 这是什么意思Well, what are you gonna do when we're gone? 我们都离开家以后你们打算做什么What's your plan? 有什么计划- Uh, to be fine. - Yeah. -我们会好好的 -是啊- 'cause we're fine. - Totally. -因为我们很好啊 -特别好You guys are gone. 你们都走了We get an R.V. Bam! 我们就买辆休旅车Me, mama... 我你妈妈and our dog, Merlin, hit the open road. 外加一条狗默林踏上旅程No. I am not spending my golden years 不我可不要把我的晚年driving around an R.V. park, 浪费在一个个房车公园里looking for a place to plug my house in. 整日寻找地方安营扎寨No. I am gonna go see the world. 不我要去周游世界Where do you wanna go? 那你想去哪里I don't know, Phil. India. Africa. 我不知道菲尔印度非洲Diarrhea. Diarrhea. 痢疾会得痢疾Wow. It sounds like you guys really need to start thinking 看起来你们真的要开始规划一下about your future. 你们的未来了Are you just gonna put Merlin in a kennel when we're gone? 我们走后你要让默林住在狗舍吗Okay, Phil, Merlin doesn't exist. 菲尔默林根本不存在And why do you want to get a dog to take care of 孩子们走后你为何要so soon after the kids leave? 急于找只狗来养呢Well, I'm gonna need someone to love me, Claire. 因为我需要有人疼爱克莱尔And in the meantime, mom, 与此同时妈妈grandpa wants you to take over the business, but... 外公想让你接管公司但是Do you want that? 那是你想要的吗I-I guess I hadn't thought this far into the future. 这么久远的事情我还没想过And, dad, are you just gonna keep selling houses? 爸爸你要一直以卖房子为生吗I mean, I don't want to blow your mind here, 我不是想要动摇你的心思but you could still be a magician. 但你还是可以成为一个魔术师啊I could. 我可以He couldn't. 他不行Really? 真的吗This salt shaker behind your head says different. 你身后的这个盐罐可不是这么说的Oh, Phil, you're getting salt all over me. 菲尔你把盐弄到我身上了I feel like a Margarita. 我要变成玛格丽特了[想要一杯]- You got it! - No, no, no, no, no, no! -马上来 -不不不不Just the check, please. 结账吧麻烦了Okay. 好的Thank you so much. 非常感谢你- Thanks, buddy. - Yeah. -谢了兄弟 -多谢Oh, no. I left my wallet in the other coat. 糟了我的钱包在另一件外套里I did not bring my purse. 我没带包包It's fine, guys. I got this. 没事我来吧- Honey, thank you. - Oh, thank you, sweetie. -谢谢你宝贝 -谢谢你亲爱的- I should probably drive, too, huh? - Probably. -等下看来也要我来开车了吧 -是啊- I gue-- yeah. - Yeah. -我觉得也是 -是啊Why don't you guys have the valet pull the car up 不如我留在这里结账你们去叫门童while I pay the check? 把车取来That we can do. 这倒是可以Uh, you guys, it's that way. 伙计们那边- Mm-hmm. - It is. -是吧 -是啊Y-you know, for the record, we do have a lot to talk about. 顺便说一下我们其实有很多可聊的Yeah, we just took a couple of topics off the table 今天只是把有些话题先放一放because we wanted to have a romantic date night. 因为我们今晚想来一次浪漫的约会And it probably put too much pressure on it to be special, 也许我们太想让今晚特别一点了but the truth is, every day I spend with this man is special.事实上我和他在一起的每一天都很特别Oh, Cam! 小卡Oh, no, I'm the lucky one. 不我才是幸运的那个人There we are. 我们都是I'm sorry. 抱歉I guess I just panicked when Brandon asked me. 我想刚才布兰登求婚时我只是慌乱了I mean, we're so different. And I know it seems petty, 我们很不一样我知道这看来but it speaks to something bigger. 很矫情但其实不然I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life 我不知道我能否与一个with the kind of guy who won't let me eat off his plate. 不让我碰他食物的人共度余生Trust me -- it can be done. 相信我那不是问题。
摩登家庭 -第2季第19集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Excuse me, I'm so sorry.I never do this for celebrities.But are you by any chance the foxy momon the New Horizon realty ad.Am I gonna regret doing that?Did the marlboro man have any regrets?This ad is perfect.See, I'm not just selling houses,I'm selling myself,and the best part about me is my family.And my teeth.And both...are on display in this ad."I can't be satisfied until you're satisfied"?Coming soon to a bus bench near you,not to mention our minivan.So that's really happening?Wait. What's happening to our minivan?Having this bad boy shrink-wrapped on it.- Classy. - Yep.Now all that driving around your mom does will serve a purpose. Good morning, family.How are you all doing on this beautiful day?Okay. What's this?Haley's S.A.T. scores are available online.I hate you.Oh! ! Today's the big day.Let's take a look, see how she did.Do we really have to look at them now?Don't worry.We're not expecting any miracles.Thank you.Are those Haley's scores? Are you sure?Why? Are they bad?No, they're not bad.Are they good?No, they're average.Sweetie, we did it.Our baby's average.Medium five!This is just a fluke.She can take them again.Yeah, and she'll probably do even better.You are gonna have your choiceof some pretty good colleges when the time comes. If I go to college.What?I've been thinking about it lately,and I might...not.Later!Well, we took the scenic route,but we ended up in the same place.更多影视更新请登陆 更多影视更新请登陆 更多影视更新请登陆 更多影视更新请登陆 更多影视更新请登陆 更多影视更新请登陆 From Zimbabwe to AlgeriaCome on, let me hear yaThese are the countries, these are the countries Cam recently became Franklin middle school's interim musical director.Go, Franklin!I was volunteering for their spring musical festival when their regular directorsuddenly and mysteriously became ill.Oh, sorry.It may have been a blessing.Their show lacked focus.I gave it a theme --"A musical trip around the world."Yeah, see, he focused itby making it about the world.You don't like it.No -- Cam. I do.Do you -- do you think that the kids, though,are gonna be able to learn it by tonight?I mean, maybe you should stickwith something that they already know.I knew this would happen.Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams? - I do not. - You do it all the time.And you know what I end up with? Wet dreams.I heard it as soon as I said it. Just leave it alone.All right, well, Cam, it's just that sometimesyou can be a little, you know, overenthusiastic.Is it really that big of a dealthat I want this to be the best show in the world? Well, as long as you heard me.Be in my corner. Don't be so critical.We-- is that really how you see me?Sometimes, yeah, I do, Mitchell.Cam, well, if -- if that's true, then I'm -- I'm sorry. No, you know, okay, from now on,I am in your corner 100%.Yeah, that song is gonna knock everyone out.Well, I don't know, butwait till you see the dance I have prepared.A dance? A dance!More toast, Manny?Why won't you call me, Emma?More toast, Emma?Do you have to be on all the time?Okay, I'm sorry. Who is this Emma?She's in the show with me tonight.I'm thinking of taking a run at her.You don't "Take a run" at a woman.You woo her. You make her feel special.Hey, hon, take a look at this.It's a picture of my butt.And then when you get her,you can tell her whatever you want.Why do you do this?I programmed it so my butt pops upwhen my brother donnie calls.It's a clever way of saying my brother's an ass.Is it?That's him. Compose yourselves.Forget I showed you this picture.I'm trying.How you doing, you dumb son of a bitch?You old mick. Looks like you've put on a few pounds. Oh, you too.What, are you eating your hair?Oh, Gloria. Oh.What are you still doing here?There's got to be an easier way to get a green card. Hey, uncle Donnie,are you coming to my school concert tonight?- Well... - It's an hour, tops....wouldn't miss it.Hey, you know, I think I misplaced my phone. Could you call me on yours?My phone's at the bottom of my bag.Why don't you use your home phone?Oh, come on. It's simple.What are you doing?I want the phone.How about you let go, you --Give me the phone, Donnie!You still think you can take me?!What? Is this all you got, huh?I'm gonna wash your mouth out with fist.I don't understand this relationship, Emma. Hey, Emma.Doing this show, it feels likewe've become like a little family, huh?You mean like you're my brother?No. N-no, I don't.Oh, no!They're back -- dinosaur arms!This isn't a good time, Luke.That is hilarious.Half boy, half t-rex.One foot in both worlds,Wanted by neither.Luke, that's a great way to stretch out a shirt.Okay, okay! Break's over, everyone!Let's take it from the top.Listen, we're running 20 minutes long,So we're gonna go ahead and cut the Bollywood number. Can I go? I'm late for soccer practice.You know who else missed soccer practice, Delroy? The cast of "Rent." And now they have a Tony.The cast of "Rent." And now they have a Tony.We have a Tony.You are so funny.Seriously?Hello?Hey, honey. Did they drop the van off yet?Yeah, a little while ago.How's it look?Uh, well, believe it or not,I have resisted the temptation to look.This whole Haley thing has got me a little preoccupied. We're on our way out to lunch right now.About that, I've been thinking.College is still a ways away.I say we leave Haley alone.The more we push, the more she'll push back.I'm gonna push.And I support that.Only dad can make our minivan even lamer.Excuse me. What are you doing?I'm driving this thing to the reservoir.Just jump when I say jump.Honey, slide over.How is this stupid ad supposed to sell houses anyway? You heard your father.He's not just selling houses...He's selling us.What are my friends gonna think?They are gonna thinkthat you're helping your father put food on the table.- Ay, is the chair broken? - Almost.That cheap, freeloading brother of minecan't keep his hands off my good Scotch,So, you see, I placed that Scotch there.My brother sits in this chair, goes out from under him -- Bam! -- Masterpiece.So you make your brother fall and spill his drink? Well, I don't want to jinx it, but that's the plan.Why are you both so mean?Where I come from, brothers respect each other.That's why Colombia is such a peaceful utopia. Hello, ladies.Hey, nice shirt.Do they sell men's clothes where you got that?That's funny because women are so inferior.You got no taste.I bought this for Melanie's baptism.Who's Melanie?Michael's kid, my granddaughter.Oh, I forgot to tell Irene I landed safely.Hello?How could you not knowthat your own brother had a granddaughter?I probably knew.How can you forget when he's family?I have 29 cousins, and I know them all --Rosa Marina, Gloria Maria,- Veronica Maria, Jose Vicente - Okay, okay, okay. What's your point?You do the chair, you do the fighting,But you don't know each other.It's sad.Look, I may not talk to my brotherthe way you talk to your sisters,But believe me, we're close in our own way. When was the last time that you saw him?Well, that's not easy, 'cause he lives up...See, I want to say Buffalo.All I'm sayingis that there's no downside to more education.I knew this car ride was a trap.See that?That right there shows me just how smart you are. Really? Again?What is going on?It's the stupid ad.They're honking on my side, too.Yes, we're the people in the ad.Yeah. Hi.Another great thing about collegecomplete independence.I'd have that in an apartment.No, because to have an apartment, you would need a job. You want to know what your job is in college?It's a little bit of class and homework.And it's a whole lot of new friends.And experiences.And the boys think you're cute and you are cute,And, oh, trust me, that doesn't last forever.Call the number!All right!You in the mood to lose?First time for everything.You break.So, how's work?Don't worry, moneybags. I'm not here for a loan.Nice break.All right, you're solids,which you won't be able to eat in a few years. Right, right.Seriously, though, how are things going with you? Swell.I'm beating a fat guy at pool right now. Donnie, I'm trying to talk to you.Why?Why? 'cause that's what people do.Talk about things, like their lives.Oh, Irene opened her big trap.Look, I'm fine.It's not like I'm gonna die.What?Yeah, they caught it early.I took the treatment. I'm clear for now.Come on. It's your shot.Caught what early?Donnie, are you talking about...cancer?You don't have to whisper. I know I got it.You just get your prostate checked -- by a doctor, not some guy you met on the internet.I can't believe you didn't tell me this.Because it's not a big deal.Now, listen. It's just between us.Oh, god.Irene, how the hell do I know where your glasses are?And there's frisbee golf,And -- and you go snow-sledding on cafeteria trays.Oh, and you all get a dog together.I don't really know who takes care of the dog during the summer, but he's there when you get back.Geez, maybe you should just go back to college.Oh, honey, do you know what I would give to go back?It's this moment when your whole life is in front of you,and it's a magical time.You don't want to miss that,Because when it's gone, it's gone.Yeah, yeah.Come on, Alex. Bus is leaving.Dad, your phone's been buzzing like crazy.Sweet lorna doone!19 missed calls?I wonder who's --Phil Dunphy.You saw the ad?Great.Do you know what you're looking for?The little one?I think I know which one you're talking about.Um, if you're interested,I also have an older model with a lot of character.What?I think the carpet matches the drapes.I haven't checked in a while.Both of them?Wow.Well, I guess that makes sense if you're planning to flip one. Listen, um, why don't I call you back?We'll set up an appointment.It'll give me a chance to give them both a good scrubbing. All right.Thanks a lot.Bye-bye.How about that, huh?You think all these calls are about the ad?Yeah.My friend Nicole just sent me a picture of the van.I guess I'll be seeing you wednesdaysand every other weekend.Hello?Okay, um, you sound very angry,which is completely understandable.I'm not angry.I'm just sitting here thinking about collegeand how life has passed me by.Oh, thank god. I'll see you at the show.Love you. Bye. We got to go.And as the music swells,we reveal our lettersspelling "We love the world."Powerful stuff.And then the majestic Franklin middle school insigniawill drop into positionif Reuben ever finishes painting it.It's not the sistine chapel, Reuben.Surprise! Hey!Your supportive boyfriend dropped by to bring you a snack. P.B. And J.Pear, brie, and jambon. My favorite!Okay, people, let's take five.A true five.Hey, Manny. How's it going?Good, great, couldn't be better.Can we, uh...Yes, we can, uh -- all right.What's up?Okay, you got to talk to Cam.He's driving us crazy.Kevin is biting his nails again,And Reuben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week.Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.All right, um, Manny,I-I can't get involved.But, all right, if you have to say something,just tell Bob Fussy that he's overdoing itand you want to go back to your old stuff.Okay, break's over, people!I want to do the french revolution number again.Let's bring out the guillotine.Carefully this time.No, no, no.Excuse me?We don't want to do the new stuff.We want to stop rehearsingand go back to the old way, Bob Fussy.I-I don't know where this is coming from.You all feel this way?Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.Well, I had no idea.I had no idea I was surrounded by a bunch of quitters. This production was a jokeuntil I introduced these childrento the musical-theater greats --Bernstein, Sondheim.Years from now, some of these kidswill still be talking about the way I sondheim-ized them. Ooh, I'm don't think that's a good way of saying -- okay.You want to do it the old waywith the same tired songs, the same drab choreography, the same tepid applause from mom and dad?Is that what you want? Just say the word.That's what we want. Yes. Yes.Well, too bad, people!We're doing it my way! From the top!This is a closed rehearsal. March.Hi, honey. What are you doing out here?Oh, just waiting for you 'cause I love you.Haley, come out this side.Why?'Cause it's fun. Try it.Yeah, the doors slide, the seats slide.What can't the sienna do?That was fun.Right? Let's go see a show!Sweetie, we need to close the door.Yeah, with the key.I like to see how far I can get from the carand still make it work.Listen, honey, honey.- Yeah? - Let me ask you something.Okay, I need you to be really honest with me. Yeah, you ca-- yes.Are my best years behind me?What?No.The trick is to keep looking forward.Here we go.Really?Yes, yes, for sure.You feel good?Yeah, I...Hello, and welcome, everyone.And latecomers.I hope you enjoy the show tonight.I think you will agree it has a certain flairthat has been lacking from this stage in years past. So, please, I invite you to sit back, relax,and enjoy this musical trip around the world! Wow.Growing up in America sure is great,but I wish I knew more about the world.Me too.I think I've got an idea.See you later, friend.Where are you going?To see the world!China looks interesting.I think I'll land here.Bring him down!Bring him down!Just go with it. Go with it.Oh. Hey. Come on.Geez, come on,Jay. You're in the theater.Try your jacket pocket.Sorry, folks.Nice. He taped it shut.Okay, that's enough.Ay! Stupid! You too!Don't hit him. He has cancer. What --Oh, my god, is Luke stuck up there? Phil?Come on.Yeah.Ye-- oh, no.Come on!China sure was fun.and look, there's merry old England. Has anyone here ever seen a globe? Full steam ahead!Ahead!Just sing.Oh, joy to salt-swept eyesFair England, do I seeSorry about what I said to Gloria, okay? Just came out.Let's go back inside.- Hit me. - What?You heard me. Hit me.I'm not gonna hit you, Donnie.Yeah, well, that's the whole damn point.As soon as you heard I was sick,you treated me different.Let me tell you, I get enough of that at home. I'm sorry.I feel a little bad for you, okay?I know we don't say this much, but, uh...I care for you, you know?Do you think I don't know that crap?I have known you cared about mesince we were 8 and 10 years oldand that mook Joey Calieri stole my bike and you put his head in the ice.What was that he said again?Um, "I can't hear no more.""I can't hear no more!"oh, Don.Your stage is all over the place.The kids are exhausted.You're making all about you.No intermission.What, are we animals?I --I'm gonna be fine.I got great doctors.The kids call me every day.Irene even lost 20 pounds due to stress.Good for you.You promise me you'll get that liver checked out.Ah, there's nothing wrong--Come on, Donna. Suck it up.We're missing my kid's show.You son of a bitch.Come on. Come on."I can't hear no more!"Okay, all right.That one was my fault,But Joan of Arc's gonna be just fine.It's not gonna be much fun doing the show without Emma. Maybe we should just stop this.No. No. There is a saying in the theater world that --"It's not worth dying for"?No, it's that "Endings make shows."And we've got a great ending.Now get out there and sing your hearts out.Oh, not you, sweetie. You just mouth the words. Okay.Uncle Cam, both my legs are tingly.Okay, we'll cut you down in just a second, Luke, okay? The show must go on. Have fun with it.Learning about the world sure was fun.But I'm glad to have my feet back on the ground again. Oh, Egypt is a land where the pyramids standWhich were built by industrious jewsAnd windmills go around in Holland townWhere they all wear wooden shoesThese are the things we learned todayAnd there's one last thing we want to say"We love the word"Where's the "L"?That's luke.Lower the insignia.Lower it.Lower it."We love the --"What the hell?No, no, no. No, no.No, no, no.No. No, no, no. No.Brava!Phil, where have you been?Oh, just getting some fresh air.- Honey. - Got it.Ready to go? Hey, look up at the moon.Would you say that's waxing or waning?Who cares? We can spend all night looking --"I can't be satisfied"?!My God, Phil.That makes me look like a prostitute.No.Yes. Yes, it does.More of an escort, really.You're just selling your time.- Whereas a prostitute just-- - Okay, Phil.I have been driving around in this all day.Well, since you're mad already,why don't you just step over hereand have a look at that?Oh, God. My baby.I am not getting back in that car!Oh, how do you think you're gonna get home, honey? It doesn't matter! I'll go home with anyone!That's what it should say on the van.Alex.I can't believe we trusted youto put this on the carafter the debacle of that last picture.Damn it.And that -- who was that?Probably another...I think the word you're looking for is "John."Get in the minivan.You mean to tell me thatpeople have actually been calling about this?There are a lot of creeps out there.That's disgusting. She's a child.Well, to be fair, most of them were for you.Well, it's still sick.What do you mean, "Most"?Well, I don't know. There were 30 calls.You got 20 or 25 of them.And they...ask for me?They asked for the hot blonde.Hmm. Men are pigs.Did they call me anything else?So, thanks to all the perverts in town,I realized I still have a few good years ahead of me. And if we have one person to thank for that,It would be me.No.Was it as awful as I think?Take the flowers.It must have been really hard for you to be supportive while I made a fool out of myself.Oh, come here.Luke, do you mind?We're trying to have a moment here.I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes. - In his eyes? - Yes.Okay. We'll get a janitor.Okay.。
摩登家庭 -第5季第5集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语-打印-word版
Gloria, honey! 歌洛莉亚亲爱的I'm ready whenever you are! 我随时都能出发We should hurry. The reservation's at 7:00. 我们得快点了预定时间是七点Claire, where are you? 克莱尔你在哪儿Okay, see you in two. 好两分钟后见What are you doing? 你在干什么呢I'm striking a seductive pose for your mother. 我想摆个性感僚人的姿势给你妈看Gross. But I like the suit. Is that new? 真恶不过我喜欢这套西装新的吗Oh, yeah. 是啊Now that his honey gots her own money, 爹爹的小心肝都开始挣钱了daddy went and snagged hisself some new threads, girl. 爹爹自然要给自己买套新衣裳闺女Hands down, your funniest voice. 这绝对是你最搞笑的声音Bordering on the offensive. 快让人觉得恶心了Listen, I'm a realtor, 你看我是房地产经纪人and I work a lot with families, 得与很多家庭打交道so normally, I dial the sexy back to five, 所以通常我不能表现得太性感but Claire's been working very hard lately. 但克莱尔最近工作非常辛苦So tonight... 所以今晚...Stick around if you want to see 留下来看你们的妈妈your mom's tongue fall out of her mouth. 被我迷得口水直流吧Not unless you want to see my lunch fall out of mine. 还是算了除非你想看我把午饭吐出来Oh, I'm sorry I am late. 抱歉我回来晚了Traffic was horrible. 路上实在是太堵了Sounds like someone could use a tall drink of water. 看起来有人急需一大杯水啊Yeah, right. Water. 是啊对水Luke, what did I tell you about 卢克我是怎么跟你说leaning back on that thing? 坐在椅子上向后仰的I don't know. "Don't"? 不知道是"不许这样"吗Honey, what are you still doing here? 亲爱的你怎么还在这里You're supposed to be babysitting Joe. 你应该去照看乔了啊Yeah, but I have to drop off Alex to watch Lily first, 是但我得先载艾丽克斯去照看莉莉and she's still not ready. 但她还没准备好She can't be concerned about her looks, right? 她不会是在穿衣打扮什么的吧- I can hear you! - I'm kidding. -我听得见 -我开玩笑的I'm just saying, 我只是想说it'd be sad to think she actually tries. 如果她还试图打扮就挺可悲的- Heard that, too! - It was a joke! -又听到了 -开玩笑的啦Man, do big ears actually hear better? 老天大耳朵真的听得更清楚吗Oh, my God, just stop talking. 我的天哪别再说了Okay, girls. 好了姑娘们It's time for you guys to hit the road. 你们该出发啦Okay, bye. 好了再见- Oh, yeah, bye. - Bye. -再见 -拜拜Why aren't you going with them? 你为什么不跟她们一起去He wanted to stay home. 他想待在家里I said it was okay. 我同意了- By himself? - It's fine. -他自己吗 -没关系的If he's old enough to watch "The Walking Dead" with me... 如果他能和我一起看《行尸走肉》- He's not. - then he's old enough -他还不行 -他就可以- to stay home alone. - He's not. -一个人待在家里了 -他还不行Claire, he's not a little boy anymore. 克莱尔他不是小孩子了I'm fine. 我没事See how deep his voice is? 你听他的声音多么低沉Are you okay?! 你还好吗请登陆 第五季第五集Oh, this is Haley. 是海莉的短信"Be there in 5. Alex took ducking forever." "五点到艾丽克斯特么磨蹭死了"Oh, it's fine. You know what? 没关系你知道吗We have to pick the "Save the date" card. 我们得选一张"预留时间"卡片I'm at a loss. 我好纠结Can we just do it tomorrow? 我们能明天再选吗I hate the way my dad looks at us when we're late, 我讨厌我们迟到时我爸看我们的眼神like we're two silly queens 就好像我们是两个傻基佬blasting disco music, 一边听迪斯科音乐primping, losing track of time. 一边梳洗打扮毫无时间观念Wow, it gets really busy in that head, huh? 你这小脑瓜想象力真丰富Okay, quick. Which one do you like? 快点你喜欢哪一张- Uh, that one. - Really? -那张 -真的吗I think you picked too quick. 我觉得你太草率了No, I didn't. I really like that one. 不没有我真的很喜欢那张I really like this one. 我真的很喜欢这张Well, then, why did you ducking ask me? 那你特么为什么还要问我Fine, goes with yours. 好吧听你的Well, if that's the one you really like. 如果你真喜欢的话就听你的Can you just get ready? 你能快点准备好吗Yeah. Lily, hit it. 行莉莉开始On it! 遵命Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 快点快点走啊快点I've never seen you so excited about a restaurant. 我从没见你这么迫不及待要去一家餐厅I've waited six weeks for this reservation. 这次预定我已经等了六周了They have an Australian Wagyu beef 那家餐厅有澳大利亚神户牛肉that's supposed to change your life. 简直会颠覆你的人生In the way heart disease changes your life? 通过心脏病颠覆你的人生吗Because you're a pillar of health. 你真是健康的使者They only feed this cow alfalfa, barley, and red wine, 这种牛只吃苜蓿大麦和红酒and some chef hand-picks each cut, 每块肉都经过厨师手工挑选dry ages it 35 days 然后风干35天before cooking it to a perfect medium-rare, 才做成一道完美的三分熟牛排all for me. 一切都是为我而做Doesn't the wine make the cow drunk? 牛喝酒不会醉吗It's not "The Far Dide." The cow doesn't drive anywhere. 这不是在漫画里牛又不用开车去哪里Gloria! 歌洛莉亚Let's go! 快点走了You know she's not here, right? 你知道她不在这里吧What? 什么She's having her hair blown out. 她在外面吹头发呢That's a thing? 就这么个事儿That I pay for? 要花钱去做吗Gloria's always late. 歌洛莉亚总是迟到Then I get mad and tell her to hurry. 然后我就会生气让她动作快点We yell, and it just takes longer. 我们会争吵结果耽误了更多时间So I promised myself, no matter how late she is, 所以我暗中发誓无论她多慢just to take some deep breaths and stay calm. 我就深呼吸几下保持镇定That's the only thing I learned in lamaze class 这是我在无痛分娩课上学到的唯一一点because we were always late. 因为我们那时也总是迟到Hi! Everybody's running like crazy tonight. 今天晚上大家都跟疯子似的I took San Vicente thinking that I was gonna save some time, 我走了圣维森特路以为会节省时间but then they're working on the sewer. 结果那里在修下水道So I went around Montana, 所以我绕道蒙大纳路down Moreno. 又开到莫雷诺路上But then there's that dip in the road. 但是那条路上有个坑I always forget about that dip in the road. 我总是忘记路上有个坑I hit it so hard that I spilled the coffee all over the car. 车颠得太厉害我把咖啡洒得到处都是Did I tell you who I had coffee with? 我跟你说我和谁去喝咖啡了吗I think Luke is scared to be left in the house alone, 我觉得卢克害怕被单独留在家里and he's just pretending to be brave for you. 他只是为了你表现得勇敢Honey, he's 14. 亲爱的他都14岁了We left Alex alone when she was 10. 艾丽克斯10岁时我们就让她一人在家了We didn't leave her. We forgot her. 不是"让" 而是把她忘在家里了And when we got home, she was fine. 我们赶回家时她不是好好的吗Physically. 身体上没事Plus, she's still friends with 而且她和那个可爱的911接线员that sweet 911 operator. 现在还是好朋友呢Yeah. 是啊What are you doing? 你在干什么Making sure Luke knows 确保卢克知道what to do in case of emergency. 发生意外时该怎么做Of course he does. 他当然知道Someone's at the door! 有人按门铃Luke, it's just your mom testing you. 卢克这是你妈妈在测试你Don't worry, mom. 别担心妈If I hear that while you're gone, 你们不在时如果我听到这声音I won't answer. 我不会开门的I'll just hide where no one can find me. 我就躲在没人能找到的地方Cam, come on, let's go. 小卡我们快走吧Two seconds. 再等两秒钟I thought that being with a man 我还以为和男人在一起meant that I wouldn't have to wait around like this. 意味着我不必这样苦苦等待I feel cheated. I do. 我觉得受到了欺骗真的Let's play dolls. 我们来玩洋娃娃吧Actually, I want to read you one of my favorite books. 其实我想给你读我最爱的一本书It's called "Little Women," and it's about four sisters 书名是《小妇人》讲的是四姐妹who overcome poverty and the patriarchy... 克服贫困和父权制的故事...Nope! Dolls. 不听玩娃娃This is Ashley. She's a wife. 这是阿什莉她是个家庭主妇Well, I hope that's not the only thing that defines her. 希望她不只是个家庭主妇而已Does she have a career? 她有事业吗Nope, she shops. Where's Haley? 不她只购物海莉在哪How come it takes me five minutes to get ready, 我怎么五分钟就准备好了and you take forever? 而你还在磨磨蹭蹭呢Oh, please. I could get ready in five minutes, too, 拜托我也能在五分钟内准备好if I dressed like -- 如果我穿得像...You did it again. 你们又撞衫了Not changing. 誓死不换Fasten your seatbelts. 系好安全带It's going to be a crazy night. 这会是个疯狂的夜晚No, honey, it's gonna be a bumpy night. 不亲爱的这会是个不太平的夜晚Remember, you can't have two dads 记住你有两个爸爸and make that mistake. 不能犯这种错误Bumpy night. 不太平的夜晚Okay, so how often does this happen? 好吧这种事多久发生一次Too often. 太频繁Men just don't have that many options. 男人没有太多选择I can't tell you the number of times 简直数不清有多少次I've walked by a women's boutique 我经过女士服装店时and just thought, "What I would do 心里想"我愿付出一切to have that many choices." 来换取那么多的选择"Don't ever say that again. 永远别这样说了I don't like any part of it. 我一点也不喜欢All right, one of us has to change. 好吧必须得有个人去换衣服We look like twin toddlers at church. 我们看起来像教堂里的双胞胎小孩Yeah, tell me about it. 谁说不是啊And this place we're going is supposed to be super hip. 而且我们要去的地方很高端We're probably gonna run into someone. 说不定会碰到熟人And come on. I don't have that many outfits. 拜托我没有你衣服多My clothes take up exactly one-quarter of the closet. 我的衣服只占了衣柜的四分之一That's not fair. My clothes are bigger than yours. 这样说可不公平我的衣服比你大All right, I hate to play this card, 好吧我不想打这张牌but I was dressed first. So... 但我先换好衣服的所以Oh, that is silly. 真愚蠢Lily, it's time to play "Who wore it best?" 莉莉该玩"谁穿上更好看"的游戏了No, I'm not doing this again. I can't. 不我不玩了我做不到Fine. Alex. 好吧艾丽克斯你来Uh, I don't know. 我不知道Boys' clothes aren't really my thing. 男士衣服我不太懂Really? 真的吗I don't get it. 我不明白Doesn't the wine get the cow drunk? 牛喝了酒难道不会醉吗- Thank you. - Honest to God. -谢谢你 -天啊Have neither of you seen a cow? 你俩都没见过牛吗They're huge. 它们体型庞大I bet tequila would do it quicker. 我敢说龙舌兰酒会让它们醉得更快It's not the goal to get the cow drunk. 目的不是为了让牛喝醉You got to be kidding me. 没搞错吧Manny, see why your mother's taking so long. 曼尼去看看你妈怎么磨蹭那么久And don't tell her I sent you. 别告诉她是我让你去的Mom! Hurry! 妈快点Don't yell. I could have yelled. 别吼啊我自己也能吼- Then why didn't you? - Because I didn't want to yell. -那你为什么不吼 -因为我不想吼- I want you to go. - Why can't you go? -我想让你过去 -你为什么不去Why can't you do what I ask? 你怎么就不能乖乖听话呢I'm trying to do something new here! 我在努力使用新方法Stop yelling, Jay! I'm ready! 别吼了杰我准备好了Oh, geez. 天啊Haley, Manny knows where all the baby stuff is, 海莉曼尼知道婴儿用的东西放在哪里and if Joe won't go to bed, 如果乔不肯睡觉just put on Gladys Knight 就给他放格拉迪斯·奈特的歌曲and bounce him around a little bit. 然后轻轻摇晃他Oh, you still do that? 你还这样做吗I loved when you did that with us. 我以前就很喜欢你摇晃我们How about that? 怎么样Somebody in this family remembers a nice thing I did. 这家里还有人记得我做过的好事I remember something nice you did. 我记得你做过的好事You bought me this dress yesterday when you were working. 你昨天上班时给我买了这条裙子How do I look? 我看起来怎么样Gorgeous. Let's go! 美极了我们走吧You didn't even look at me. Haley. 你都没看我海莉Well, "A," your hair looks amazing, 首先你的发型看起来棒极了like you just got off a horse. 就像是刚从马背上下来似的That's exactly what I was going for. 那正是我想要的效果But if I had one thought... 不过我觉得吧...No! No thoughts. 别别觉得...are those for sure the best earrings? 那对耳环不是最适合的They seem to be kind of getting lost. 感觉不是很显眼I have the same color in a bigger size. 我还有一副这个颜色大一号的- How much bigger? - Like a meter. -大多少 -一米左右A meter? That's like a foot. 一米都有一英尺长了Actually, it's like a yard. 其实应该是一码才对Oh, sorry -- it's like a millimeter. 对不起应该是一毫米左右You mean a centimeter. 你想说的是一厘米吧All this math. Just show me. 数学真麻烦给我看一下好了- Gloria! - What? -歌洛莉亚 -怎么的I think the new earrings 我觉得那副新耳环are really gonna tie your whole outfit together. 一定会和你的整套造型非常搭You're so sweet! 你嘴真甜Wow. That was very mature of you. 你刚才的表现成熟多了Yeah, well, I'm a lot older now 是啊我现在的确比than when she started getting dressed. 她开始打扮之前老多了So this sound... 所以这个声音...that's the doorbell. 才是门铃声That other sound was the smoke alarm. 之前那个声音是烟雾报警器Got it. 知道了Okay, and if you're hungry, don't order a pizza. 如果你饿了不要叫批萨外卖They don't screen those delivery guys. 他们的配送员都没有经过筛选Half of them are ex-cons. 那些人多半都是有前科的Stop it. You're gonna scare him. It's gonna be fine. 够了你会吓到他的不会有事的But if you do choke, you've gotta throw yourself 不过万一你噎住了你要这样against the back of a chair to get the food out. 撞在椅子背上以便把食物吐出来He'll just drink stuff. 他喝点东西就行了Nothing from under the sink. 不要拿水槽下面的东西喝Even if it's lemony? 连柠檬味的也不行吗I'm just messing with you. 我跟你开玩笑的In case of fire, go low and get out. 要是着火就俯下身子跑出去In case of earthquake -- 要是遇到地震Wait. You think there could be an earthquake? 等一下你们觉得会发生地震吗The last time we had one, that big cabinet fell on me. 上次地震时我被那个大柜子压住了- No, it didn't. - It did?! -没有的事 -真的吗Let's go. 我们走吧Bye, honey, we love you. 再见亲爱的我们爱你Do you have the keys? 你有钥匙没We're gonna check in. I promise! 我们会给你打电话的我保证Uhh, what's going on? 怎么回事New suit? 新西服This old thing? 这个吗Yes, it is. 是啊是新的I got it at this hipster place downtown. 我在市里潮人集散地买的You like it? 你喜欢吗It's tight. 有点儿紧Well, the salesman said it was the style, 售货员说现在流行这种风格and he looked like a Mumford and Son, 他看上去像个蒙福之子乐队成员so I think he'd know. 我以为他很了解时尚Mm, let's go. 我们走吧Slow down, Flo Jo. 慢一点女飞人You know what? We don't have time for this. 我们没有时间争论这些了I'll just change. 我直接换衣服好了Well, now I feel bad. Let's both just change. 这让我好内疚我们还是一起换了吧That's the fair thing to do. 这样做才公平Okay, fine. But quickly, pLemony Snicketlease. 好的但是请你快一点I don't know. 我不知道It's blue. 这件是蓝色的Yeah, this one's so yellow. 这件又太黄了Oh, you know what? 你猜怎么着I have a stain on this one. I can't wear it. 这件衣服上有块污渍我不能穿这件Oh, paisley, yeah. I don't know. 涡纹图案不错我不确定Are you kidding me right now?! 你是在跟我开玩笑吗- What? - I know this trick, Cam. -怎么了 -我知道你在耍什么把戏You take forever to pick out an outfit, 你永远也挑不出一套衣服knowing very well that I'll say, "Let's just go," 你知道我肯定会说"我们走吧"because we're late. 因为我们已经迟了Meantime, you get credit for offering to change 这么一来你做了提议换装的好人while I'm the one who actually does. 而我却是真正换装的那个人- As usual. - Excuse me. -你一向如此 -你说什么Are you accusing me of manipulating you to get my way?你是在指责我操纵你按我的方式做事吗Actually... 其实...Because that's what my mother used to accuse me of, 因为我妈以前就是那么指责我的and I got to say 我不得不说that that brings up a lot of stuff with me. 那让我想起了好多伤心事You're crying without tears. 你连滴眼泪都挤不出来Give me a minute. 给我点时间"'Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents,' "圣诞节要是没有礼物就不是圣诞节了" "Grumbled Jo. "乔抱怨道"'it's so dreadful to be poor,' sighed --" "贫困真是可怕她感叹着"Stop! I hate this. 够了我不爱听这个Can I put makeup on you? 我能给你化妆吗Why does everyone ask me that? 怎么总有人这么问我Let's just have a good time tonight, all right? 我们今晚就高高兴兴地享受一下行吗- I'm not mad. - Okay, good. -我没生气 -好很好And you do look super-duper handsome in that. 而且你穿那套衣服帅呆酷毙了Don't even. 别扯了I'm gonna grab a water for the road. 我去拿些水在路上喝Yeah, get me a soda. 给我拿罐汽水Okay, Alex. Thank you so much. 好了艾丽克斯非常感谢你Have a fun night. 晚上玩得开心点Honey, we love you. 宝贝我们爱你- Here you go. -All right. Thank you. -给你 -好的谢谢Okay, and remember, no eating in the living room. 记住不许在客厅里吃东西Aah! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 我的天我的天What did you do? What did you do?! 你做了什么你做了什么Come on! You can't possibly think -- 拜托你不会以为...You shook this can 你摇晃这罐子来着so you could wear the outfit that I wanted to wear? 这样你就能穿这套我想穿的衣服了That is exactly what I think! 是的我就是这么想的That is insane. 这太荒谬了You saw me take it from the refrigerator 你看着我把汽水从冰箱里- and bring it to you. - Did I? -拿出来给你的 -是吗Or were you out of my sight for the two seconds 还是你趁我没注意that it took you to get from the refrigerator to here, 在从冰箱那里走过来的两秒钟里which would have given you exactly the right amount of time 摇晃了这罐汽水而两秒钟刚好足够to shake the can? 用来摇晃汽水Nice theory, Nancy Grace, but I'm not that petty. 真棒大神探但我没那么小心眼Okay, you two. Did you see anything? 你们俩看见什么没有Just pretend you're coloring. 假装在涂色Okay, what are you doing? 你在干嘛I'm trying to reach the mirror. 我在尝试够到镜子I got something in my eye. 我眼睛里进东西了Hi, you've reached the Dunphys. 你好这里是邓菲家Why isn't Luke picking up? 卢克为什么不接电话It's hard to reach the phone 被一个刚被假释的when you're tied up by a recently paroled pizza guy. 比萨配送员绑住的确很难接电话Ha ha. You're very funny. 你真幽默What are you doing? 你干什么I know it sounds weird. 我知道这听起来很奇怪Call it mother's intuition, 也许是母亲的直觉吧but I just have this feeling that something is wrong. 但我有种不祥的预感Fine, do what you want, 好吧你爱怎样就怎样吧but I've just about had it up to -- 但我已经忍了你...higher than here with this. 比这还要多Die, pizza man! 去死吧送比萨的Stop! Stop! 住手住手Oh. Sorry, mom. 妈妈啊对不起Told you he could take care of himself. 告诉过你他能照顾好自己了Move. 让开Why does she do this? 她为什么要这样呢We're gonna lose our table. 我们的订位会被取消的She knows how important it is to me to be on time. 她知道准时到达对我有多重要This is torture. 真是折磨人I think you've lost perspective, Jay. 你重点搞错了吧杰You know what I would give to wait around 你知道我愿付出多少来换取for a woman like that? 等待这样一个女人的权利吗Reel it in, creepy. 少来了小变态That's your mother up there. 你说的可是你亲娘Sorry, sorry. 抱歉抱歉Once I changed the earrings, I had to change the shoes. 我换了耳环之后就得把鞋子也换了And then I tried on one of Gloria's old dresses, 然后我试穿了歌洛莉亚的一条裙子which made me feel like a 10-year-old boy. 让我觉得自己像个10岁的小男孩Ay, your body's beautiful. 你身材很棒I agree. 我同意Take it outside the family. 留着对外人说去Okay, we ready to go? 准备好出发了吗Wait. I have the wrong lipstick. 等等我拿错了口红Oh! That's it! I've had it! 够了我受够了Just one minute! 就给我一分钟Nothing takes a minute with you. 你不可能一分钟内做完We're leaving right now. 我们现在就走I don't care what you have to do. 我不管你要干嘛It's bad enough you're being rude to me, 你对我这么无礼也就算了but you're being rude 但你这样对那些to the people sitting there waiting for us! 在等着我们的人太不尊重了Sorry, you're the first to arrive, 不好意思你们是最先到的and we can't seat you till everyone's here. 我们必须等到客人来齐后才能让您入座I hope you're happy! 这下你开心了吧Where the hell is everybody? 人都去哪儿了Yes, I hate waiting like this. 我讨厌这样等着别人Do you? 是吗Just because everybody else is late 就算其他人都迟到了doesn't make it okay for us to be late. 并不意味着我们迟到是对的I can't get ready fast with all the yelling! 你总是吼我我没法快速准备好I wasn't yelling. 我没有吼你You see, you're doing it again! 你又在吼我了Gloria, you do this every single time. 歌洛莉亚你每次都是这样If you know how long it takes you to get ready, 如果你清楚你要花很长时间准备why don't you start earlier? 为什么不早点开始呢I have my reasons. 我有原因I would love to know them. 能告诉我吗You're going to be mean. 你会嘲笑人家的I promise I won't be. 我保证我不会I like to make an entrance. 我喜欢华丽地登场What's that, now? 你说什么I like the part where I go in, 我喜欢我走进去的时候and everybody's waiting for me, 大家都在等我and they say, 然后他们说"Gloria, you look so pretty, "歌洛莉亚你看起来好漂亮and that dress is so beautiful." 那裙子好美啊"Is that so bad? 这样有什么不好吗I don't love it. 我不喜欢Oh, this room is so nice. 这里真华丽呀I know. It's almost as gorgeous as -- you monster! 是啊华丽得像...你这个禽兽What? Oh, this? 什么这个吗Well, you know, you couldn't wear it, 反正你也没法穿so I figured, what's the harm? 所以我想我何不穿呢Mm. Okay, you know what? I will go over there, 好你知道吗我现在要走过去and I will be as socially magnetic as I always am. 然后我会一如既往地魅力十足We will put this on the back burner, 我们暂且不提这事but underneath, I want you to know, I am fuming. 但我希望你知道我内心已经气炸了Hey, Jay, where's Gloria? 杰歌洛莉亚呢She's -- she was there a second -- 她刚刚还在那儿呢There are my boys! 我的宝贝儿们来啦Gloria, you look so pretty. 歌洛莉亚你真漂亮That dress is so beautiful. 这裙子太美了You got to be kidding me. 有没有搞错You let him watch those scary shows with you, 你让他跟你一起看那些恐怖电视剧and then we leave him home alone at night. 然后我们大晚上把他一人留在家Of course he's gonna arm himself. 他当然会武装自己了He was fine until you gave him your "50 Ways to Die" speech.你给他讲"50种死法"前他都挺好的What was the one about the welcome mat? 有关"欢迎到来"地毯的说的是什么来着They are highly flammable. 那种地毯非常易燃For seven to ten people a year, 每年有7到10人死于地毯自燃they may as well say, "Welcome to the morgue." 毯子上不如写"欢迎来停尸房"好了You know what? Drop it. 好了别说了I don't want to fight in public. 我不想在公共场合吵架- It's embarrassing. - Fine. -太丢人了 -好吧Hi, how are you? 你好吗Good evening. Good. 晚上好我很好Oh, my leg's asleep! 我的腿麻了My leg's asleep! Okay, thank you. 我的腿麻了好了谢谢Sir, if the rest of your party doesn't arrive soon, 先生如果您的朋友们还不到we have to give up your table. 恐怕就得把桌子让给别人了Any minute. 马上就到Again, dad, sorry we're late. 再次道歉爸我们迟到了Yeah, you know, Mitchell put on some music, 是啊米奇尔放了点音乐and we were primping and dancing around, 我们边收拾边跳起舞来了and I guess, well, we just lost track of time. 然后可能就忘记了时间Actually, dad, what happened 事实上爸真实情况是was Cam was practicing this trick 小卡玩了个把戏where he pretends to be accommodating 假装善解人意却神不知鬼不觉地and then magically gets his way. 得到了自己想要的结果There they are. 他们来了We need a second. 我们要离开一下Oh, Cam, no. 小卡别Where are you guys going? 你们要去哪Can't talk. Too mad. 我不想说话太生气了Oh, God. 天哪Hi, dad. 爸Where's Gloria? 歌洛莉亚在哪里She -- for the love of -- 她看在老天爷的份上There you are! 你们来了Oh, my goodness! That dress! 我的天啊这裙子Gloria, holy mackerel. 歌洛莉亚好家伙We're so sorry we're late. 真抱歉我们迟到了We had to drop Luke off at your place. 我们不得不把卢克送到你们家Phil wanted him to stay home alone, but he got scared. 菲尔想让他自己呆在家但他害怕Man, I can't wait to get some food 老天真想赶紧吃点东西in my mouth and yours. 用食物堵住你的嘴Poor Haley. 可怜的海莉What is she going to do with all those boys? 她带着那些男孩子要怎么办啊*I'll be with him 我会陪着他**I know you will 我料到你会**On that midnight train to Georgia 搭午夜的火车去往乔治亚**Leaving on the midnight train to Georgia 搭午夜去往乔治亚的火车离去*You know what? 你知道么I resent the implication that I always get my way. 我很讨厌你觉得我每次都得偿所愿Really? The "Save the date" cards. 真的吗 "预留时间"卡片For our wedding? 为我们婚礼准备的那个吗Oh. So, it is still our wedding. 那还是"我们"的婚礼啊I wasn't sure I was even invited 我都不确定我是否被邀请了because you keep asking for my opinion 因为尽管你一直问我的意见and then doing the exact opposite. 最后却总是按自己的意愿去做- That's one thing. - What about the music? -那只是特例 -那音乐呢I think our love deserves a band, not a D.J. 我们的爱值得乐队来衬托而不是DJ The tablecloths. 那桌布呢They make sneakers out of that fabric. 那种料子结实到可以用来做球鞋You won't let me pick one thing, and you want to know why? 你什么都不让我选你想知道为什么吗Because I have better taste than you. 因为我的品味比你好I was gonna say because you're a control freak. 我想说的是因为你是个控制狂And how can you think that I have bad taste? 你怎么能认为我品味不好呢We chose the exact same outfit. 我们今天选了一模一样的装扮Did we? 真的吗I wore fun loafers. 我穿了轻松的懒汉鞋You wore sensible oxfords. 你穿了实用的牛津鞋Your collar's buttoned down. 你的领口系的紧Mine's a more current widespread. 我的是时下流行的敞开状And I chose a bold pocket square 我选了一条醒目的方巾to bring out the stripe in the shirt, 去衬托衬衫的条纹all of which you wouldn't have thought of. 所有这些都是你想不到的Because, well, I've already said. 原因呢我刚刚已经说过了You don't like my oxfords? 你不喜欢我的牛津鞋吗I'm sorry. I'm being harsh. 对不起我嘴太毒了- They're fine. - Thank you. -他们还说得过去 -谢谢For a small-town detective. 如果你是个乡村侦探的话Okay, look. I can't help myself. I did it again. 好吧我没忍住我又毒舌了So, I-I don't love them. 我不爱你的鞋But I do love you. 但我爱你And I don't want you to feel left out. 我不想让你感觉被冷落Okay. Then let me have a say in planning our wedding. 好那让我在婚礼策划中有话语权That's what we agreed to. 我们之前说好了的You will, and you should, and I'm sorry. 你会的你也应该有对不起Thank you. 谢谢Can you just do one thing for me? 那你能为我做一件事吗Sure. 当然Just be honest, and I'll let this go forever. 实话回答我然后我就不会再提Did you shake that can? 你到底有没有摇那罐汽水No. 没有I'm gonna ask you one more time. 我再问一遍See, Phil? 看到了吗菲尔They don't let Manny stay home alone. 他们不让曼尼独自呆在家Why do you think Haley's there? 要不然为什么海莉会在那里Actually, we let Manny stay home all the time, 事实上我们经常让曼尼自己在家and sometimes, he makes cupcakes, 有时他还会做小蛋糕which I could use one right about now -- 现在要是能吃上一个就好了or a potato. 或者烤土豆也行。
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Oh, New Yorker, you've done it again. 《纽约客》你又来了Jay, check out this cartoon. 杰快来看这个漫画Does it have a talking dog? 有会说话的狗吗- No, it's a commentary on... - I'm out. -没是在评价... -我不看了Here you go, 给你one of my best efforts. 我最用心做的一个Have at it. 吃吧Mm, I can't eat that. 我不能吃- Why not? - The pickle's touching it. -为什么不能吃 -碰到酸黄瓜了There. 好了The juice got on the bread and, ew, what's that stuff? 面包还是沾到汁了好恶那是什么Spices. 香料They look like sea monkeys. 跟海猴子似的Have you ever really examine a jar of pickles, Jay? 你真的认真观察过酸黄瓜吗杰It's like a swamp there. I'll pass. 黏糊糊的一团我不吃了What happened? 出什么事了I made him a beautiful sandwich and he won't eat it. 我给他做了个美味的三明治他却不吃Yeah, 'cause it had pickles on it. 对啊因为上面有腌黄瓜Joe is taking a nap. 乔在睡午觉I'm gonna go to the dry cleaners. 我要去干洗店Well, if you're passing a sushi restaurant -- 如果你路过寿司店She's not. 她不会路过的I've never heard of anyone not liking pickles. 我从没听过谁不爱酸黄瓜的Aw, big day for you, then. 那今天就是历史性的一天啦I'm just gonna make myself a grilled cheese. 我自己做个烤奶酪三明治好了I think I saw some Gruye in there. 我应该是看到有格鲁耶尔奶酪了Do we have any fig? 我们有无花果吗Sit down. 坐下This whole persnickety thing is not gonna fly in the world. 你这种挑剔的毛病出去可不行Never hand people another reason to make fun of you. 别再给别人取笑你的理由了You mean like all the cool kids 你是指那些穿着皮夹克with their leather jackets and their pickles? 爱吃酸黄瓜的酷小孩吗Well, you're gonna sit there 你至少尝一口酸黄瓜until you at least try a pickle. 否则坐在这儿不许走You're drunk with power. 你被权力冲昏头脑了You got that right. 你说对了- Oh, no. - What? -不是吧 -怎么了The Tonys are coming. 托尼要来了Cam, this is exactly why I don't want you watching them -- 小卡所以我才不希望你看那些You're already so angry. 你已经这么生气了Not that Tonys -- 不是托尼奖Anthony Lamarque, botox Tony. 是安东尼·拉马克肉毒杆菌托尼They're coming to the wedding. 他们要来参加婚礼But, seriously, another revival of "Anything Goes"? 但说真的又要上演《万事成空》吗Are we really doing this again? 我们真的又要这样吗I'm surprised that they're coming, 他们要来我很惊讶because when I mentioned the wedding to Tony, 因为我跟托尼提到婚礼时he seemed completely disinterested -- 他表现出毫不在意的样子Oh, the botox. 是因为打了肉毒杆菌啊Oh, no. 不Your cousin Pete, all of his kids. 还有你的表兄皮特他的孩子们都要来Everyone's accepting, Mitchell! 大家都接受了邀请米奇尔We haven't even gotten the list from my dad yet. 我爸的嘉宾名单还没给我呢And your dad's friends drink like soldiers. 你爸的朋友们喝起酒来像当兵的Because they were soldiers. 因为他们确实当过兵I mean, I am grateful for their service, 我很感激他们为国奉献but we are not gonna be able to afford this wedding. 但这样一来婚礼费用我们可承担不起了Okay, maybe we need to pull back on a few things. 看来我们得取消一些东西Like what? 比如什么Uh, the centerpieces? 餐桌中心摆设Why even have a wedding? 那你何必办婚礼呢I don't know, Cam. 我不知道小卡Because we love and respect each other 因为我们彼此相爱彼此尊重and we're raising a child together? 还共同抚养一个孩子吗Do you want to help or not? 你还要不要帮我了Maybe we could send un-vitations. 也许我们可以发一些"不邀请信"Is that a thing? 有这东西吗We've already made a lot of people angry 因为我们现在可以结婚by just being able to get married. 已经惹怒很多人了Let's not alienate the ones on our side. 就别把支持我们的人也疏远了All right. Maybe we could sell something. 好吧也许我们可以卖掉些东西We're thousands over budget. 已经超预算几千美元了It would have to be something great. 得卖个大件的才行Here, you can sell my diamond ring. 给你你可以把我的钻戒卖了Oh, honey, that's candy. 亲爱的那是糖果啦I'm gonna kill that Jackson! 我要杀了那个杰克逊I do have something of value -- 我确实有些贵玩意儿A "Spider-man versus doctor octopus" comic book. 一本《蜘蛛侠大战章鱼博士》漫画书Issue number 3, 1963, near-mint condition. 第三本 1963年出版几乎全新It's worth 5 grand. 值五千美元I traded a football for it when I was 9 years old, 我9岁那年用一个橄榄球换的and my dad was mad 我爸气疯了because the football was signed by Dan Marino. 因为那上面有丹·马里诺的签名I said, "Get it signed by Rita Moreno, and I'll keep it." 我说找丽塔·莫雷诺签名我就留着Oh, no. 不是吧My nephews are flying in from Tulsa 我侄子们要从塔尔萨飞过来-- the big ones. 胖胖的那几个The pie eaters? 特别能吃派的那些吗That's it. I got to sell my Wyatt Earp. 没错我得卖掉我的怀亚特·厄普了This here is a belt buckle once worn by the great Wyatt Earp.这是怀亚特·厄普曾用过的皮带扣My grandpa gave it to me when I was 7 years old, 我爷爷在我7岁那年给我的and he said,"Son, this will keep the bad guys away." 他说孩子这会保护你远离坏人In my early 20s, I wore it to 我20出头时曾戴着它去参加a Cowboys-and-Indians disco party. 牛仔和印第安人主题迪斯科派对And let's just say it didn't. 但是没有起作用哦No. I can't let you do that. 不行我不会让你这样做的That means the world to you. 它对你意味着一切Cam, I will sell my "Spider-man." 小卡我会卖了我的《蜘蛛侠》Mitchell, my belt buckle was owned 米奇尔我的皮带扣曾是by a legend of the old west. 老西部传奇人物的东西I don't think your comic book 我觉得你的漫画书卖的钱would even cover our balloon budget. 可能连买气球的钱都不够Well, that's very offens-- 这话就太刺...Wait. What's the balloon budget? 等等买气球要花多少钱Hey, mom, can we put this stuff somewhere else? 妈能把这东西放到别的地方去吗It's cluttering up my room. 它让我的房间显得好乱What is it? 这是什么Oh, just some mementos of mine. 我的一些纪念品A few of your dad's. 还有你爸爸的- Oh, Zima! - Yeah. -齐马 -是啊What's Zima? 齐马是什么Just a party in a bottle. 瓶子里的派对Man, that reminds me of some wild times. 那让我想起了狂野的时刻Cranking the Bjork in my Saturn 在我的土星车里放着比约克的歌before me and my buddies snuck some "Z" 然后一起在影院看《西雅图夜未眠》时into "Sleepless in Seattle." 呼呼大睡I wish you'd covered my ears for that. 真希望你也捂住了我的耳朵Ooh, mom. Who's this hottie with his arm around you? 妈妈抱着你的这个帅哥是谁啊Cute! 帅爆了Oh, that's Bobby Nash, my old boyfriend. 那是鲍比·纳什我的前男友Why'd you break up with him? For dad? 你为什么和他分手为了爸爸吗Let's just say he took his eye 这样说吧他没盯住球off the ball and struck out. 结果被三振出局了So I stepped up to the plate 于是我站到了垒板上and nailed her in the cheap seats. 在票价低廉的座位上搞定了她Yeah, let's not say that. 别那样说Well, I'm off. 我要走了Oh, honey, I've got to stop by the drug store. 亲爱的我得去药店Do you need anything? 你需要什么吗No, thank you, my dear. 不用亲爱的The Dunphy glands produce all the drugs I need. 邓菲腺体能分泌我需要的所有药物Except for, uh, foot spray. 除了足部喷雾Could you grab me some of that? 你能买一些来吗Sure. 当然可以Oh, wow, mom! 妈妈What a dork, right? 真是呆对吧What were you thinking? 你当时想些什么呢It was comfortable. My dad didn't approve. 但是很舒适我爸爸不同意Enough said. 无须多言I know it's hard to believe, 我知道这难以置信but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. 但我过去其实有点呆And it was suggested that I was out of my league 我追克莱尔时别人说我是癞蛤蟆when I landed Claire. 想吃天鹅肉By Jay, mostly. 大部分是杰说的And my friends. A-and my parents. 还有我的朋友们还有我父母And Claire. 还有克莱尔What's this? 这是什么Oh, my gosh. 天啊That is your father's answering machine from college. 那是你爸爸大学里的答录机God, I sometimes forget how old you guys are. 天啊我有时忘了你们有多老You've reached Phil's world! 你来到了菲尔的世界Party time! Excellent! 该狂欢了太棒了He's so cute. 他真可爱Hi, Phil. This is Mitchell, 菲尔我是米奇尔uh, Pritchett, Claire's brother. 普里契特克莱尔的弟弟I just wanted to thank you for setting me up with your cousin.我就是想感谢你安排我和你表妹见面She was very nice. 她人真好The only problem is she lives kinda far, so... 唯一的问题是她住得有点远所以That's the only problem? 那是唯一的问题吗Hey, Dunph-dog, it's Ling. 邓菲狗我是林Grab your rollerblades 带上你的旱冰鞋and meet us at the bike path, playa! 在自行车道和我们见面吧嗨起来But I got to be done by 3:00, 但我三点就得走了'cause today's the day I fly my new helicopter. 因为今天我要试飞新直升飞机Phil, hey, it's Claire. Um... 菲尔我是克莱尔I need to tell you something, 我得告诉你一件事and I don't want to do it on your machine. 我不想在电话里说It's really important -- 这事很重要- Oh, no, no, no. - You know, life-and-death important. -不不不 -生死攸关Come on. Come on. 给我给我Not death, um, just life. 跟死无关只是生[生命]I mean... 我是说...I just -- oh, hell, I'm pregnant! 我只是... 该死我怀孕了Oh, sweet newlyweds! 甜蜜的新婚夫妇啊Don't worry. You don't have to marry me or anything. 别担心你没必要娶我什么的Let's talk as soon as you can. 我们尽快聊聊吧Why weren't we more careful? 我们为什么不多加小心呢Stupid Duran Duran concert. 愚蠢的杜兰杜兰音乐会All right! 好了That's enough. 够了I was conceived at a Duran Duran concert? 我是在杜兰杜兰音乐会上被怀上的吗Classy start to a classy life. 优雅人生的优雅开始啊You were not conceived at the concert. 你不是我在音乐会上怀上的It was after the concert. 而是在音乐会后Oh, wha-- in the car?! 什么在车里吗It was a very nice car. 那是一辆好车Listen, I am done. Stop snooping. I'm going. 我受够了别再问了我要走了The seats folded all the way back. 车座靠背可以完全放平Oh, images. 恶心的画面I can't believe they kept it. 他们居然把"它"留下了I have a name. 我是有名字的The answering machine. 我是指答录机You know, we could have some fun with this. 我们可以拿它找点乐子I'm home! 我回来了Hi, mom. 妈妈Manny, what are you doing sitting in front of a pickle? 曼尼你为什么坐在一根酸黄瓜面前Jay says I can't leave until I taste it. 杰说我得尝尝它的味道否则就不许走Why do you torture him like this? 你为什么这样折磨他'Cause he's too stuck in his ways, Gloria. 因为他太固执己见了歌洛莉亚This is good for him. 这对他有好处He'll taste the pickle, he'll find that he likes it, 他会尝尝泡菜发现自己喜欢吃he'll try more things. 然后尝试更多的东西This is good parenting. 这是教子有方This is not going to play well in my memoir. 在我的自传里不会把这写成什么好事You know, you're one to talk. 你真会耍嘴皮子How many times have I asked you 你跟你说过多少遍to try my mother's blood sausages? 让你尝尝我妈做的猪血肠Totally different. That's disgusting. 不是一回事那香肠恶心死了How do you know it's disgusting if you've never tried it? 你从来没吃过怎么知道很恶心You've never tried grandma's delicious blood sausage 你从没尝过奶奶做的美味的猪血肠吗that's right there in the freezer? 冰箱里就有啊Oh, you're right. 你说得对We do have some left over. 我们确实还有些剩下的Really? It hasn't been all gobbled up yet? 是吗还没有被哄抢着吃光吗Okay, Mr. Father of the year, 好了 "年度最佳父亲"time for you to show Manny that you're not a hypocrite.该向曼尼展示你不是个光说不做的人了Looks like you're in quite a conundrum. 看来你陷入两难了You know, you could've said -- 其实你可以说"A pickle"! Dang it! It was right there. "酸黄瓜" 该死就摆在眼前"A pickle"! Dang it! It was right there. [in the pickle同指陷入两难]Hello. 你好Hi. Can I help you? 你好需要帮忙吗Uh, yes. 是的Um, I have something pretty special 我有一个很特殊的东西that means the world to me, 对我来说意义重大yet I gladly part with it 但我愿意卖掉它to prove my love for my fiance 为了证明我对我未婚夫的爱- Cam, you don't have to... - I do. -小卡你不用 -我要这样做This is a belt buckle that was once owned 这个皮带扣以前的主人是by the legendary Wyatt Earp. 传奇的怀亚特·厄普[西部警长]And when my grandfather gave it to me, and rest his soul, 当我祖父把这个给我时愿他安息he said”son, this year is a 他说孩子今年...Are you ok? 你还好吗I can't be here for this. You do it. 我做不到你来吧And get a price on that divine lamp. 顺便再问问那盏灯卖多少钱Um, anyway... 不管怎么样Look, I didn't want to say anything 我不想当面打击in front of your fiance 你的未婚夫but this is a cheap replica 但这只是个60年代时given away by a gas-station chain in the '60s. 加油站连锁店卖的廉价复制品There's tons of them out there. 市面上有一大堆It's worth about 20 bucks. 也就值20块Are you sure? 你确定吗Pretty sure. 非常确定That family loves to dress up a story. 他家的确喜欢夸张[打扮]故事And a pig. 还有打扮小猪Well, how about a first-edition number 3 那基本全新的初版"Spider-man versus doctor octopus" in near-mint condition?《蜘蛛侠大战章鱼博士》第三本能卖多钱呢Keep talking. 继续说That... 其实Uh, uh, that's pretty much it. 其实这就是全部了Why isn't she calling? 她怎么还没打来Aren't you the doubter? 你总是对事情抱着怀疑态度She'll call in three... 她会打来倒数三two-o-o-o... 二One! One's next! 一该数一了Yeah. 我知道Press record. 开始录音Hi, mom. 喂妈妈Haley, honey, 海莉宝贝did you mean to send this text to your dad? 你是想发这条短信给你爸爸吧Text? What does it say? 短信什么短信"I hate to spoil your golf game, but..." "抱歉打扰你打高尔夫但是..."Uh, no, no. I-I didn't send that. 不是我没发那条短信Must have accidentally dictated 肯定是你和爸爸说话时when you and dad were talking. 手机不小心听写了Okay. That's weird. 好吧奇怪了Well, while I have you on the phone, 正好我打给你了would you mind emptying the dishwasher and doing -- 你能把刷碗机里的餐具拿出来Oh, you're breaking up. 你那边的信号弱了Haley, can you hear me now? 海莉能听见我说话吗Nope. Bye. 听不见了再见- Got it. - Told you we'd get it. -大功告成 -跟你说了没问题吧Now just for a little creative editing... 只需创造性地剪辑一下Your mind is so brilliant. 你那么聪明If you put this much effort into your schoolwork, 如果你把这份聪明用到学习上的话there is no telling the things you could -- 你一定能成就...Why do you have to ruin everything? 你为什么总是那么扫兴I know, she's always talking about my potential. 是啊她总是在说我的"潜力"Fore! 当心Do you think I hit her? 你觉得我打到她了吗Nah, she's fine. 没有她没事Sorry I'm so distracted today. 对不起我今天太分心了What's wrong, buddy? 怎么了哥们Let me ask you something. 我问你件事Do -- do you ever get the sense 你会不会有时候觉得that your wife feels like she could have done better? 你配不上你妻子God, no. Nah, she's the luckiest woman on earth. 天呐不会她找到我算是三生有幸I mean, if anything, I could've done better. 非要说的话是她配不上我The noises that come out of that woman at night? 那女人夜里发出的噪音It's like she's that black guy from "Police Academy." 就好像她是《警察学校》里的那个黑人Oh, speak of the devil. 说曹操曹操就到Message from my wife, 我老婆发来的信息not the black guy from "Police Academy." 不是《警察学校》里的那个黑人Oh, that'd be so awesome. 要真是他发的才给力呢That would be neat. 超给力的Phil? Hey, it's Claire. 菲尔我是克莱尔Um, I hate to spoil your golf game, but... 抱歉打扰你打高尔夫球但是...I'm pregnant! 我怀孕了What? 什么Let's talk as soon as you can. 我们尽快谈谈吧I have to leave. 我得走了What? We're in the middle of a game. 什么我们正在打比赛呢I have to be with Claire! 我得去找克莱尔Oh -- my clubs! 我的球杆My hat! 我的帽子My sandwich! 我的三明治I'm sorry I freaked out in there. 对不起我在里面崩溃了How -- how much did we get for it? 我们卖了多少钱You know, here. I couldn't do it. 给你我做不到What? No. 什么不是吧This belt buckle means so much to you. 这个皮带扣对你来说意义重大I'm just gonna -- I am going to sell my comic book instead. 我决定...还是把我的漫画卖了Oh, Mitchell, that is so sweet. You know -- 米奇尔你真是太贴心了The idea of me parting ways with a belt buckle 一想到我要跟我爷爷与怀亚特·厄普that my grandfather arm-wrestled Wyatt Earp for -- 掰手腕赢来的皮带扣说再见He arm-wrestled him? 他掰手腕赢了他吗Oh, yeah, but not in a contentious way. 是啊但不是因为有争论才比赛You know, they were friends. 要知道他们是朋友My grandfather saved his life during a train robbery. 我爷爷在一次火车劫案里救了他A -- a train robbery? That's -- wow. 火车劫案太惊人了Cam, wow! Yeah. 小卡这太惊人了They had a real bond. 他们关系很铁The great Wyatt Earp and honest Abe Tucker. 伟大的怀亚特·厄普和诚实的亚伯·塔克I have it, I'll store it, 我心里知道不拆穿and if I need to, I will use it. 必要时再拿出来说You know what? I quit. 这样吧我放弃Pardon me for trying to broaden his horizons. 原谅我试图让他开眼界No, no, no. You're not quitting anything. 不不你绝对不能放弃You're going to eat your sausage, 你得把香肠吃了and you're going to eat your pickle. 而你得把你的酸黄瓜吃了I am tired of every day cooking two different meals. 我已经受够每天做两种饭了No tomatoes. White meat only. Extra bacon. 不要番茄只要白肉多加培根He gets extra bacon? What the hell? 他能多吃培根凭什么Today is the day you two are stopping this silliness! 你们今天必须把这毛病改了Fine, we'll all conquer something today. 我们今天都必须克服一些东西What do I have to conquer? I eat everything. 我有什么好克服的我什么都吃- Pet Stella's belly. - What? -抚摸斯黛拉的肚子 -什么You won't touch Stella's belly. 你从来不摸斯黛拉的肚子Yeah, because it's the creepiest thing ever. 因为感觉太奇怪了Has like 30 nipples. 她有三十多个乳头I'll eat the blood sausage, 我会把猪血肠吃掉Manny eats the pickles, 曼尼会把酸黄瓜吃掉you pet her belly. 而你要抚摸她的肚子I'd rather eat the dog. 我宁愿把狗吃了Don't be a hypocrite. 别做个光说不练的人Nice and long, like you mean it. 要长长的爱抚发自内心的I want to see that leg shake. 我要看到她舒服得抖腿- Let me get these! - What's happening? -我来拿吧 -发生什么事了- I'm just so happy! - Really? -我就是太高兴了 -真的吗Oh, did you finally get a hole in one? 怎么你一杆进洞了吗A hole in one. 一杆进洞I hope our baby has your sense of humor. 我希望我们的宝宝也这么幽默- Our what? - Why didn't I see it? -我们的什么 -我怎么没看出来呢The drug store, the bloated ankles, 去药店关节肿胀you've been so moody lately... 你最近脾气也大了What are you talking about? 你在说什么There it is. 你看这暴脾气Phil, I am not pregnant. 菲尔我没怀孕- You're not? - No. -你没有吗 -没有Well, why'd you leave me that message? 那你怎么跟我留言说怀孕了Didn't leave you a message. 我没有给你留过言Are you sure? You're very forgetful when you're pregnant. 你确定吗你怀孕时忘性特别大I think I would remember! 我觉得我能记得住Then why have you been so moody? 那你为什么最近脾气这么大Maybe because you just told me I have giant ankles! 大概是因为你刚刚说我关节肿大Shh, I don't want him to hear us fight like this. 我不希望宝宝听到我们吵架Give me this. 把东西给我Okay. This is gonna be good for everybody, 这会对大家都有好处So let's get it over with. 所以赶快行动吧- Fine. - Okay. -好吧 -好吧We'll go on the count of three. 我们数三下One... 一Two... 二Three. 三Uh! Oh, no! 不I'm gonna throw up! 我要吐了Why so moist, Jay?! Why?! 怎么这么湿杰为什么Is this a bad time? 我们来的时机不对吗Sorry to barge in here like this. 很抱歉我们来得这么突然I guess it's weird that, uh, I'm still storing stuff here. 感觉挺奇怪我还把东西放在这里I just wish you would have come in sooner 我希望你来得再早一点before I went to second base with Stella. 在我跟斯黛拉上二垒之前All right, I'll be two minutes. 只需要两分钟If you need money for the wedding, 如果你需要资金来筹备婚礼why sell something that you love? 为什么要把心爱之物卖掉呢Why don't you just ask Jay? 为什么不跟杰开口No. No. No. No. 不不不不Why not? He's your father. 为什么不他是你爸I don't feel right asking my dad for money, okay? 跟我爸爸开口要钱让我很不舒服I'm an adult, and I have my comic book. 我成年了而且我还有我的漫画书I hate to spoil your golf game, but... 抱歉打扰你打高尔夫但是...I'm pregnant! 我怀孕了Let's talk as soon as you can. 我们尽快谈谈吧Oh, they are good. 他们真厉害I can't believe they pulled such an elaborate stunt. 简直不敢相信他们能做得这么天衣无缝I don't know whether to be angry or impressed. 我不知道是该生气还是该赞赏It's so diabolical. 简直太邪恶了I don't know where they get that... 不知道他们从哪里弄到的Wait. Wait. Wait. 等等慢着We could really have some fun with this. 我们可以好好捉弄一下他们You know, it's funny, 说来好笑I never saw you as a comic-book guy. 我从来不知道你喜欢漫画书Oh, no, I wasn't, but I don't know. 我不喜欢我也不知道Spider-man -- 《蜘蛛侠》He -- he spoke to me. 让我产生了共鸣I -- I think it's because it's about this nerdy kid 我觉得大概是因为这种who has this special secret side of himself 一个小书呆子有着that he can't share with anybody, and -- 不可告人的另外一面的感觉And that's how I always felt. 我一直也都是这么觉得的Spider-man made me feel like it was okay to be different.蜘蛛侠让我觉得与众不同没什么不好And...it made me feel tough enough to -- 而且他让我在遇到困难时to get through the rough times. 变得足够坚强Oh, Mitchell, that's so sweet. 米奇尔这真让人感动I didn't know that. 我都不知道是这样的Are you sure you want to sell it? 你确定要把它卖了吗Yes, yes. 是的确定Because, like Spider-man, I am brave and strong. 因为就像蜘蛛侠一样我勇敢坚强- Oh! Spider web! Spider web! - Mitchell. -蜘蛛网蜘蛛网 -米奇尔It's in my mouth. 弄到我嘴里了- Oh, Mitchell! - What?! Oh! -米奇尔 -怎么了天哪No! No! Oh, no! 不不不Give me a break, Phil! 得了吧菲尔What do you want from me?! 你到底想我怎么样- Shh! - I didn't say anything. -小声点 -我什么都没说啊A little compassion when you thought I was pregnant 你听说我怀孕的时候would have been nice! 能不能多点热情I'm sorry. It was a knee-jerk reaction. 对不起那是我的下意识反应You got that half right! 说你是个混蛋[jerk]倒是真的Well, you're not pregnant, anyway, so who cares?! 反正你也没怀孕谁在乎呢And what did I say that was so terrible?! 我说了什么你这么大火气Well, I believe your exact words were, 用你的原话说就是"Great, another kid that we could screw up.” 太好了我们又有一个孩子可以糟蹋了Oh, I'm sorry. But we both know that's true. 那对不起了但我们都知道我说得没错Wait. Are you saying we never should have them in the first place. 等等你是说我们根本不应该要孩子吗Like you never said that! 就好像你没这么说过一样This is awful. 这太糟了This is what you thought gonna happen? 你一开始就知道会这样吗I didn't think that far ahead. 我想不到那么远的I never do. You know that. 从没想过你知道的You should've stopped me! 你应该阻止我的You said this was going to be fun! 你说这会很有趣的Nobody is having fun! 现在没有人觉得有趣Careful?! Please, Phil! 说话注意点菲尔If you hadn't gotten me pregnant, 如果你没有把我的肚子搞大I never would have married you! 我根本不可能嫁给你I would have married Bobby Nash! 我肯定嫁给鲍比·纳什了- You would?! - Oh, yeah! -真的吗 -是啊And right now, I would be on my 100-acre ranch in Aspen现在我就该在阿斯本一百亩的大庄园里了with my strapping 6'4" hedge-fund husband! 和我两米多高做对冲基金的老公一起You really wish you'd married Bobby? 你真的希望你嫁的是鲍比吗Oh, every single day! 每天都这么希望No, Phil. 等等菲尔Dad, are you okay? 爸爸你还好吗Yep. 还行That's what I am to everyone around here. 这家里每个人都这么看我- Mom... - Just "Okay." -妈妈 -只是"还行"而已- Phil! - Hey, mom? -菲尔 -妈妈- Not now. - Phil! -等会儿 -菲尔You guys hear that? We totally got them! 你们听见了吗我们完全骗到他们了Quick! We need a blow dryer! 快点我们需要个吹风机Is this some sort of gay emergency? 是有什么基佬紧急情况吗No, dad, it's not a gay emergency! 不爸爸不是什么基佬紧急情况It's my comic book. 是我的漫画书We need to -- ohh, god! 我们要... 天呐It's ruined. 全毁了Mitchell, it's okay. 米奇尔没事的It probably wasn't worth that much anyway. 反正也许并不值那么多钱It was worth $5,000! Your belt buckle is garbage. 这书值五千块你的皮带扣分文不值It came from a gas station! 那是从加油站买的Your grandfather never met Wyatt Earp! 你祖父从来没见过怀亚特·厄普I didn't hold on to that for quite as long as I thought. 这个秘密看来没有保守太久Hey, I'm sorry. 对不起I -- I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. 这事我没想说的No, it's -- it's okay. 不没关系I -- I kinda suspected the dates didn't line up. 我也怀疑过时间点不太对Now I'm starting to think that wasn't 现在我开始怀疑那到底是不是Amelia Earhart's compass. 阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特的指南针了I'm so sorry, but I am sure that Jay can help you two out. 太可惜了但我觉得杰肯定能帮到你们No, no, no, no, no. 不不不We want to do this on our own. 我们想自己解决这个问题Can I ask you a question? 我能问个问题吗Why are you having such a big thing anyway? 你们为什么要弄一个那么大的婚礼Well, because we're only getting married once. 因为我们只结一次婚啊I'm just saying, why do you need to make into a spectacle?我只是想说为什么你们要如此大张旗鼓A s-- a spectacle? 大张旗鼓This could be the universe's way of telling you 这也许正是老天想要暗示你们to bring it down a notch. 把婚礼搞得低调一点Invite your family, your friend Pepper, 邀请家人还有你们的朋友胡娇and, what's his name, the -- the -- the flouncy one? 还有那个叫什么的爱穿荷叶边的那个Uh, L'david. L·大卫I don't have a flouncy friend named L'david, dad. 我没有爱穿荷叶边的叫L·大卫的朋友Do -- do you mean L'michael or J'marcus? 你是说L·迈克或是J·马库斯吗I'm not sure who you're referring to. 我不太确定你说的是谁Whatever. 管他呢I'm just saying keep it small. 我就是说低调一点Why pay all that money for people you barely know?为何要为了几乎不认识的人花那么多钱呢Oh, oh, you mean like any of your friends? 你是说你的那些朋友吗Oh, please, you don't want any of my friends there. 拜托你不会想邀请我的朋友们的Really? Because I've -- 真的吗因为我I've been asking for a list for months now. 我管你要名单都要了几个月了So, so who doesn't want them there -- 到底是谁不想让他们来呢me or you? 我还是你Why are you getting upset? 你为什么生气Because, dad, if -- if this was Claire's wedding, 因为如果这是克莱尔的婚礼you would be all over it. 你就会投入得多了You'd be wanting to have it at your club. 你甚至会要求在你的俱乐部办You'd be inviting all your friends. 你会邀请你所有的朋友Oh, please! 拜托I wasn't that thrilled when Claire got married, either. 克莱尔结婚时我也一样不那么兴奋"Either"? For god's sake, just stop talking. "也一样" 老天爷啊别说了Everybody back off. 所有人都退一步I don't think I'm out of line 我不觉得我说得过分suggesting my friends don't want to see 我的朋友不会想在盛大的a father-son dance at a big gay wedding. 同志婚礼上看父子共舞There is no father-son dance, dad. 根本没什么父子舞老爸I don't know what things go on there. 我不知道在同志婚礼上是什么情况Do I walk you down the aisle? 我需要牵着你走红毯吗Does someone throw a bouquet? 会有人扔花束吗。