初中英语笑话
英语小笑话适合初一的
英语小笑话适合初一的笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。
小编精心收集了适合初一的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!适合初一的英语小笑话篇1白痴老师If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂，先生，你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。
”适合初一的英语小笑话篇2交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。
点了两份饮料。
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.然后他们就从他们的公文包当中拿出三明治开始吃。
The waiter became quite concerned服务生感到相当不妥，and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches in here!"就走过去告诉他们：“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治!”The attorneys looked each other ,这两位律师彼此。
适合初中学生的英语笑话
适合初中学生的英语笑话从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的调剂品,它使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。
本文是适合初中学生的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!适合初中学生的英语笑话篇一WomenA Sikh, an Italian & a Frenchman were drinking in a pub when the subject ofWOMAN came up in their conversation.The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.The Frenchman said, in France, we treat the woman like cognac. We smell first & then lick slowly. What about the woman in your country,Mr Singh?The Italian asked.In our country, we treat the woman like a record. First we play the front &/when we finish, we flip it over & play the back.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇二Bill GatesBill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do somethingI've never done before; in your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.""Fine, but where should I go first?""I'll leave that up to you.""Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."So Bill went to Hell.It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased."This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!""Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision."Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons."How's everything going?" he asked Bill.Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water "That was the SCREENSAVER," replied God.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇三CoincidenceA man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a triple martini. The bartender says "What a coincidence, the only other person at the bar is that beautiful woman at the other end. She is also drinking triple martinis".After a few sips of his drink, the man walks up to the woman and says, "Isn't it a coincidence that we are both having the same drink".She replies "Yes! I am here because I am celebrating. After 20 years of trying I am finally pregnant!""What a coincidence" the man replied. "I am also celebrating.After years of experimenting, I have invented a multicolored chicken. At this, the woman asked "How did you ever accomplish that!?"."I had to try a lot of different cocks" he said. The woman replied"What a coincidence"适合初中学生的英语笑话篇四son-in-lawA 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother."Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room shaking her head.The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he found his daughter using the vibrator."What the hell are you doing he asked.His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I'm 40 years old now and I'm ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head.The next day, the mother came home and found her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other watching the football game onTV. "What on Earth are you doing?" she cried.The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the football game with my son-in-law!!"。
初一英语小笑话
初一英语小笑话笑话不仅是我们生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我们工作学习之余缓解压力、舒缓情绪的重要渠道。
小编精心收集了初一英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!初一英语小笑话篇1FUTURE未来A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about thefuture until he gets a wife.女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来;男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。
初一英语小笑话篇2Contented Married Life令人满意的婚姻生活A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes allthe small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in eachother's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and noarguments."一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密，“小事都由我妻子决定，”他解释说：“而我只管大事，我们从不互相干涉，从不生对方的气。
我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。
”"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisionsdoes your wife make?"“听起来很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢?”"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in,what furniture we have, where wego for our holidays, and things like that."“嗯，”那个人回答说：“她决定我申请什么工作，我们住什么房子，买什么家具，去哪里度假这些事情。
初中英语笑话
1.Oncetwohunterswenthuntingintheforest.Oneofthem suddenlyfelldownbyaccident.Heshowedthewhitesofhiseyesandseemedtohavec easedbreathing.Theotherhuntersoontookouthis mobilephonetocalltheemergencycenterforhelp.Theoperatorsaidcalmly:"Fir st,youshouldmakesurethatheisalreadydead."Thentheoperatorheardagunshot fromtheotherendofthephoneandnextheheardthehunterasking:"WhatshouldIdo next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”2.Letmetakeitdown Anelephantsaidtoamouse,"nodoubtthatyouarethesmallestznd mostuselessthingthatIhaveeverseen.""Pless,sayitagain.Letmetakeitdown."themousesaid."Iwilltella fleawhatIknow."为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
”“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。
”老鼠说。
“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
3.WateringFlowerInRainTom:Whydoyouhavethatwateringcan?Dan:I'mgoingtowatertheflowers.Tom:Butit'draining.Dan:That'sOK.I'mwear-ingmyraincoat.雨天浇花汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？丹：我要去浇花。
初一英语笑话带翻译
初一英语笑话带翻译推荐文章100字的英语笑话大全热度：经典英语小笑话带翻译热度：优秀经典的英语笑话有哪些热度：优秀经典的英语笑话带翻译热度：简短经典的英语笑话带翻译热度：笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。
笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。
小编精心收集了初一英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!初一英语笑话带翻译篇1The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant."You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."脑移植一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。
”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。
”初一英语笑话带翻译篇2"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man."I broke a mirror," he replied."But that means seven years of bad luck.""I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"这难道不好吗?“你高兴什么?”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。
有关英语小笑话带翻译初中生可以理解
有关英语小笑话带翻译初中生可以理解在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。
小编精心收集了有关英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!有关英语小笑话带翻译篇1Son： Mum ,if someone broke your best. vase what would you do?儿子：妈妈，如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶，你会怎么办?Mum：I'd spank him and send him to bed without any supper!妈妈：我要揍他，还不让他吃晚饭就去睡觉!Son： Well,you' d better get the slipper. Dad's just broken it !儿子：好了，你准备好拖鞋吧，爸爸刚把那只花瓶摔碎了。
有关英语小笑话带翻译篇2Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnny?保姆: 约翰尼，你难道不喜欢你新生的小妹妹?Johnny: She's all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.约翰尼: 她还可以，但要是个男孩就好了。
威利·史密斯有一个新生的小妹妹。
现在他该认为我又在跟他学了。
有关英语小笑话带翻译篇3Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johmmy,and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?妈妈: 约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。
七年级英语短的笑话
七年级英语短的笑话笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。
小编精心收集了七年级英语短的笑话，供大家欣赏学习!七年级英语短的笑话篇1Make your fortune"How did you make your fortune?""I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience.""How did that help?""Now he has the experience and I the money."计划你的将来“你是怎么计划你的将来的?”“我变成一个富人的合伙人，他有钱，我有经验。
”“那有什么用?”“现在他有经验了，我有钱。
”七年级英语短的笑话篇2Boxing and RunningDan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."拳击和赛跑丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。
他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。
”朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。
”七年级英语短的笑话篇3LawyersA drunk stands up in a bar and shouts, "All Lawyers are scumbags". Another drunk stands up and yells, "Hey, I resent that remark". The first drunk yells. "Why are you a lawyer". "No", said the second drunk, "I’m a scumbag".律师一喝醉了的人在一声酒吧呼喊,"所有的律师都是无赖" 。
英语短笑话带翻译初中
英语短笑话带翻译初中 笑话是⼀种重要的交际⼿段,在⼈们的⽇常⽣活中起着重要作⽤,在社会⽂化中占据着重要地位。
下⾯是店铺带来的初中英语短笑话带翻译，欢迎欣赏! 初中英语短笑话带翻译篇1 John is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. "John!" Teacher says angrily. "What? What's wrong?" John is awaken. "Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing." Teacher says. "No one is laughing." Teacher says. "No, it's not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping." John fells upset. "Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy." Teacher is satisfied with it. 约翰并不是个“好”学⽣。
他总是在上课的时候睡觉。
今天他⼜睡着了。
“约翰!”⽼师⽣⽓地喊他。
“什么?出什么事了?”约翰醒了。
“你为什么要做⿁脸?这是教室!看看!同学们都在笑!”⽼师⽣⽓地说。
“没有⼈在笑呀。
”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。
“不，不是我。
我没有做⿁脸。
刚才我睡着了。
”约翰感到不安。
“嗯，还不错。
你承认⾃⼰的错误，还是给好孩⼦”⽼师为此感到满意。
初中英语短笑话带翻译篇2 Tony and his father are eating dinner. Suddenly Tony asks his father, "Dad, are flies yummy?" Dad frowns and says, "No, I think it's yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It's a silly question." But Tony says, "There was one fly in your plate." 托尼正和他爸爸⼀起吃晚餐。
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初中英语笑话————————————————————————————————作者：————————————————————————————————日期：1.Oncｅtwｏhunｔers wｅnｔhunting in the ｆorｅst. One ｏf them suddenｌｙfell dowｎby aｃciｄent.He ｓhowed ｔhｅwｈiteｓoｆhis eyes anｄseｅmedｔo ｈave cｅａsed ｂreathing. Tｈe ｏthｅr hunｔeｒsoon toｏk oｕt ｈis mobilｅphone ｔｏcall the emｅrgｅnｃyｃｅnter for help. Thｅoｐeraｔor saｉdｃalｍlｙ："First, youｓhoｕｌｄmａke sure tｈat he is already deａd."Then thｅoｐeｒatｏr heａrd a gunshot fｒｏm the other end of the ｐｈoｎe anｄｎext he hearｄｔｈe hunｔer ａｓkｉng："Wｈaｔｓhｏｕｌd I dｏneｘt?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”2.Let ｍe takｅiｔdｏwｎAn elephaｎｔｓaid ｔo ａｍｏusｅ,"no doｕbt thａtｙｏｕare ｔhe ｓmallesｔznd mｏｓt uｓelesｓtｈing ｔhat Ihave e ver seen．＂"Ｐｌess ,sａy it ａgａin .Ｌet meｔake ｉt down ."the mouse said.＂I will tｅll a flea what I know．"为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说:“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
”“请再说一遍,让我把它记下来。
”老鼠说。
“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
3．WaｔeriｎｇFlower InＲaｉnＴom:Why doyou havｅthat watｅrinｇcａn?Dan:I'm ｇｏing ｔo water the flowers．Tom:But it＇d raining.Daｎ:That's ＯK.Ｉ＇ｍｗeaｒ-iｎg my ｒainｃoat.雨天浇花汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么?丹:我要去浇花。
汤姆：可是，在下雨呀！丹:没关系，我穿着雨衣呢!4. Ｔwo birlsTeacheｒ: Hｅrｅａｒｅｔwo biｒｄｓ,one ｉｓa swａｌlｏw，the other is spaｒｒow. Ｎowｗho can tｅｌl us whｉcｈis wｈich?Stｕdｅnt：I cａnnot point out bｕt Iｋnow the answeｒ.Teａcher:Ｐleａse tellｕｓ.Student：Thｅswalｌow is ｂｅsidｅthｅｓｐarroｗaｎdｔhｅspａrｒow is besｉde the swalｌow．两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
5、he Fｉsh Net"Can you tell mｅwhaｔfish net is ｍａde，Ａｎｎ？＂＂Ａｌｏt ｏf littｌe ｈoｌes tied togｅther witｈstriｎgs." re ｐｌied the littlｅgirl.鱼网＂你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
" 小女孩回答道。
6、T heＮｅｗTeacherGeｏｒge cｏmes from schｏol oｎthe fｉrst of Septｅmbeｒ.＂Geｏrgｅ, how did you lｉkｅyoｕｒnew teａｃher?＂aｓｋed his motｈｅr."I didn＼＇ｔlike ｈer，Mother, becaｕse sｈe saｉd thａt t ｈｒee aｎd thrｅｅwereｓｉｘandｔhen shｅｓaiｄｔｈat two and ｆｏuｒｗere siｘｔoo..．.."新老师９月1日，乔治放学回到家里。
＂乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?＂妈妈问。
"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
＂7、A phyｓicｓExaminationＯｎce in a phｙsics examｉnatiｏn, Niｃk fiｎiｓｈed the first queｓtiｏn vｅｒy soon,whｉle his classmaｔeｓｗｅrｅtｈinｋing it hａｒd.Ｔhe questiｏn ｗas: Wheｎit thunders ｗｈｙｄｏwｅsee the liｇhting firｓt, ｔhen hear tｈe tｈunｄerrolls？Nick＼＇ｓanswｅr: Becaｕｓe our eｙes aｒe before ears．一次物理考试在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。
8.Ｔoo Faｓt oｒToo SlｏｗA man wasｄrｉvinｇat１30 milｅs an hour wｈen a poｌiceman ｏveｒtook him."Was Iｄrｉvinｇtｏｏfasｔ,ofｆicｅr?＂ｔhe ｍan aｓked.＂NＯ，"thｅpoliｃｅmａn aｎswered,"You ｗｅｒe flyｉng too ｓlｏw."太慢或太快一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶，当一个警察看见他时,他问:“我开的太快了吗?警官。
”“不”，警察说，“你飞的太慢了。
”９.G ooｄBoｙＬitｔle Robert askｅd his motｈｅr for two cents."Wｈaｔdid yｏu dｏｗith the moｎey I gave yｏu yｅｓterdａy?"＂I gａve it to a pｏor old ｗoman," he answerｅd."Ｙou're a good boy，"said ｔｈe mｏther proudly. "Hｅre ａre two cents ｍore．But whｙaｒe you so interｅｓteｄｉn ｔｈe old woman?""Shｅｉｓthe oｎe ｗhｏselｌs the candy．"好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。
”１０. Ｎｅst ａnd HairＭy sisｔer, a prｉmaｒy sｃhool ｔeａｃher，waｓinfｏrmed by o ｎe of her pupils ｔｈaｔａbird had ｂuilt its nesｔin ｔｈe tree ｏutside the clａｓsroom."Whａt kind of bｉrｄ?" my sｉsteｒaskeｄ."I dｉdｎ＇t seｅthe bird，mａ' am,only tｈｅｎeｓt,"reｐliｅd tｈe chｉld."Thｅn, canｙoｕgivｅuｓ a descriｐtioｎｏｆｔhe ｎest?＂ｍyｓister ｅｎｃouraged her .＂Weｌl,ma'aｍ, it just rｅsembles ｙoｕrｈair．"Notes:(1)ｉnｆorm v．告诉(2) nｅst n.窝;巢(3) dｅscription ｎ.描述(4)eｎｃoｕrage v.鼓励(5) resembｌｅv．相似;类似鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。
一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。
”那孩子回答说。
“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。
”11．HｅＷｏnTommy: How is ｙｏur littlｅbrｏｔher,Johnｎy? Johnny：He isｉｌl in bｅd.He huｒｔhｉmseｌf.Tommy: Ｔhat's toｏbad. How diｄthaｔhａppen? ﻫJohｎny：We ｐlayｅd whｏcｏuld leａn ｆｕrｔｈest oｕｔof theｗinｄｏw，a ｎｄhe wｏｎ.他赢了汤姆:约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗? ﻫ约翰尼:他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
ﻫ汤姆:真糟糕，怎么回事儿? ﻫ约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
ﻫ1２．I Haｖe His Ear in My PoｃｋetIｖaｎcame hｏme ｗiｔｈａbloｏdy ｎosｅanｄhis motｈｅr aｓkeｄ, "Wｈat hａｐpｅｎｅd？"＂A kid bit me,＂replied Ivan. ﻫ＂Would yｏｕrecognｉze hiｍif ｙou saw him agaiｎ?" asked his mｏtheｒ．"I＇d knｏw hiｍany ｗhere," saiｄIvan．＂I have his eａr in my poｃｋet."ﻫ他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问,“发生了什么事？” ﻫ“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
ﻫ“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
13.Dr “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。