英文课前三分钟-笑话
三分钟英语笑话
三分钟英语笑话Three-Minute English Jokes1. Knock, Knock!- Who's there?- Lettuce.- Lettuce who?- Lettuce in, it's cold out here!2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?- Because they make up everything!3. What did the left eye say to the right eye?- "Between you and me, something smells!"4. Teacher: "Can anyone give me an example of a business failure?" - Student: "My dad's company."5. Why did the scarecrow win an award?- Because he was outstanding in his field!6. Patient: "Doctor, I think I'm a dog!"- Doctor: "How long have you felt this way?"- Patient: "Ever since I was a puppy!"7. Why don't skeletons fight each other?- They don't have the guts!8. Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"- Candidate: "Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of asking me this question!"9. Customer: "Can I buy a bookmark?"- Librarian: "Of course, we sell bookmarks here. But I don't think you'll find any that are longer than our books!"10. A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.- It's a shitzu.11. Friend 1: "What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?"- Friend 2: "Snowballs."12. What do you call fake spaghetti?- An impasta!13. Why don't eggs tell jokes?- Because they might crack up!14. Customer: "Excuse me, waiter, will my pizza be long?"- Waiter: "No, it will be round!"15. Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"- Student: "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."- Teacher: "What are you talking about?"- Student: "Well, you said it was H to O!"16. Why don't scientists trust atoms anymore?- Because they make up everything!17. Patient: "Doctor, I think I'm a bridge!"- Doctor: "What's come over you?"- Patient: "Two cars, a truck, and a motorcycle!"18. Why don't some couples go to the gym?- Because some relationships don't work out!19. Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"- Candidate: "I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"20. How do you organize a space party?- You "planet" ahead!21. Teacher: "What is the past tense of 'think'?"- Student: "I thought, right?"22. Why did the tomato turn red?- Because it saw the salad dressing!23. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?- He will stop at nothing to avoid them!24. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?- Nothing, it just let out a little wine!25. Patient: "Doctor, I keep seeing an insect singing, 'eeeeeeeeee'." - Doctor: "Don't worry, it's just a bug that you caught a tune!"。
英语笑话带翻译3分钟
英语笑话带翻译3分钟笑话不仅是我们生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我们工作学习之余缓解压力、舒缓情绪的重要渠道。
店铺整理了3分钟英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!3分钟英语笑话带翻译篇一I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resistbragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose onepound?"我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。
可是，我禁不住夸耀说我17岁时，体重225磅，而目前体重是224磅。
我还说：“这对我这样年龄的男子来说，是不错的。
”一个女子听到了这些话，她说道：“你是说你花了这么长时间才减了1磅?”3分钟英语笑话带翻译篇二The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Whyhave you chosen this career?" he asked."I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied."Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean."No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."农业学校的招生办主任在面试一个上线的学生，“你为何要选择这个职业?”他问。
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇（范例推荐）英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
”雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。
”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。
英语小笑话6篇
英语小笑话6篇店铺为大家整理的一些英语小笑话，希望我们的笑话栏目能够给你的生活带来一丝欢笑。
英语小笑话一：What are the Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。
我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。
我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。
你能答应我吗?噢，当然，奶奶。
女孩说：是哪两个词?英语小笑话二：奇猜异想Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。
英式英语笑话5篇
英式英语笑话5篇下面是店铺整理的英式英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：Talking on the TelephoneEach Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer."You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面，然后给他们讲一个故事。
一天，他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义，带来了一台电话机。
“你们和别人在电话里交谈，并没有看到电话线另一端的人，对吗?”他开始问道。
孩子们点头称是。
“好的，和上帝交谈就象通过电话交谈一样。
他就在另一端，虽然你看不见他，但是他正在聆听你的心声。
”就在这时，一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道：“那他的电话号码是什么?”英语笑话二：The Name of a PoetOur teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today. It works like this, she said. Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poetRobert Burns, for instance. She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns. Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman, a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns! I see what you mean, said the class know it all. But how can you tell that it's Not Robert Browning?我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
英语超简单简短小笑话
英语超简单简短小笑话篇一:超简短的5个英文笑话超简短的5个英文笑话 1.Teacher: whoever answers my ne_t question, can go home. 老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了.One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外.Teacher: who just threw that?!老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩:我!我现在要回家了.2.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can t jump!任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来.3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头.有尾,但是没有身体?A coin!硬币.4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?A needle.针.5.Wife: How would you describe me?妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: ABCDEFGHIJK.丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: What does that mean?妻子:那是什么意思?Husband: Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.丈夫:迷人的.魅力的.可爱的.令人愉悦的.优雅的.时髦的.漂亮的和火辣的.Wife: Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?妻子:哇,谢谢,但是〝IJK〞是什么意思呢?Husband: I m just kidding!丈夫:开个玩笑!篇二:简单英语小笑话He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1_0 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1_0个人.-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人.My little dog can t readMrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspapers!Mrs. Brown: It s no use, my little dog can t read.我的狗不识字布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字.〞Bring me the winner-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.-- I m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.-- Well, bring me the winner then.给我那个打赢的吧-- 服务员,这个龙虾只有一只爪.-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了.-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧.Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered.You re a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?She is the one who sells the candy.好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.〝昨天给你的钱干什么了?〞〝我给了一个可怜的老太婆,〞他回答说. 〝你真是个好孩子,〞妈妈骄傲地说.〝再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?〞〝她是个卖糖果的.〞Jim’s History E_aminationUncle: How did Jim do in his history e_amination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn t his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.吉姆的历史考试舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?母亲:唉,糟透了.可话又说回来,这也不能怪他.嗨,他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿.1. He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That s too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了.他受了伤.汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.篇三:短篇英语笑话_则带翻译短篇英语笑话_则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom .Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!=================================================================== 斯丹:我赢了 92 条金鱼.弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们?斯丹:浴室.弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办?斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛!② The Revenge 欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: When I m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones. Wife: No, I can t marry anyone after you. Johnson: But I want you to. Wife: But why? Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!===================================================================老农约翰逊就要死了.他的家人都站在床边.他声音低沉地对妻子说:〝我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯.〞妻子说:〝不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人.〞约翰逊:〝但我希望你这么做.〞妻子:〝为什么?〞约翰逊:〝因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我.〞③ I think that I m a chicken 我想我是一只鸡Psychiatrist: What s your problem?Patient: I think I m a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg!===================================================================精神病医师:你哪里不舒服?病人:我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.④ How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess e_plained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I m meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?=================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣.飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前,说道:〝我马上就要见到我妻子了.我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?〞⑤ Where Am I 我在哪儿An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, E_cuse me, can you tell me where I am? Yes, the farmer looked at him strangely and said, you are in your car, sir. ================================================================= 一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路,他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活.于是他就把车开过去问那位农民:〝劳驾,您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗?〞〝可以.〞农夫奇怪地看了看他,然后说道:〝你现在在你的车子里,先生.〞⑥ Why do you never phone m e?你为什么不给我打电话?Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from his mother s village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said, There isn t any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week. Mrs Harris was very angry last Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son s house in Greensea. Then she said to him, Geoff, why do you never phone me? Geoff laughed. But, Mother , he said, you haven t got a phone. No, she answered, I haven t, but YOU VE got one!===================================================================== = 我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗...⑦ The Same Action Yields the Same Result相同的投资相同的结果A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in abouttwo weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, This plane won t be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You ll have to leave the others behind. Then the hunters protested, saying, But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well. So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again. Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, Where do you think we are now? The second one surveyed the area and said, I think we re about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year.===================================================================== = 有两个猎人包机前往一座森林,到了以后,他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接.两周后,他们射了许多动物,而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机,可是飞行员说:〝这架飞机除了一头野牛外,没办法再多载了.你们必须把其他的猎物都留下.〞猎人说:〝但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机,就让我们带两只水牛,还有一些其他的动物上机!〞因为他们这样抗议,所以那个新飞行员想了一想后,尽管还是有点存疑,最后还是妥协说:〝好吧!如果去年可以做到,今年应该也可以.〞所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物.结果飞机起飞五分钟后,就坠落在邻近的地方.这3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周,其中一个猎人对另一个说:〝你认为我们现在在哪儿?〞那个人瞧了一下,说:〝我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远!〞⑧ Chief is at th e wedding 长官在婚礼上A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.But officer, the man said, I can e_plain.Just be quiet, snapped the officer. I m going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.But ,officer, I ….I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter s wedding. He ll be in a good mood when he gets back. Are you sure? answered the man in the cell. I m the groom.===================================================================== = 大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了.〝但是警官〞这个人说道,〝我可以解释的〞. 〝保持安静〞,警察突然说道.〝我将把你送往监狱,直到长官回来.〝但是,警察,我,,,〞. 〝我说过了保持安静,你要到监狱了.〞几小时后,警察向监狱里看了看说道〝算你运气好,因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上.他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的.〞〝你确定〞在牢房里的这个人说道.〝我就是新郎呀〞.⑨ Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?Tom: I don t know, father.Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father.===================================================================== = 父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题.你们班上谁最懒?汤姆:我不知道,爸爸.父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业.写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?汤姆:我们老师,爸爸.⑩ Two Birds 两只鸟Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.===================================================================== = 老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?学生:我指不出,但我知道答案.老师:请说说看.学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.。
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】篇一：英文幽默笑话1.猫和老鼠——Mrs Brown went tovisit one of her friend andcarried a small box withholes punched in the top.——“ What's in yourbox?" asked the friend.——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。
“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。
这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。
”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。
”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。
”布朗夫人小声说道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸A guy I know wastowing his boat homefrom a fishing trip to LakeHuron when his car brokedown. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be abletoraise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。
学习简单的英文笑话
学习简单的英文笑话英语作为一门国际语言，对于日常交流和职场发展都有着重要的作用。
除了学习英文的正式语言和用法，学习一些简单的英文笑话也是很有趣和有助于提高英语水平的方式。
下面将分享一些简单的英文笑话，希望能给大家带来欢乐和学习的动力。
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人获得了奖项？因为他在自己的领域表现出色！2. I used to play piano by ear.Now I use my hands.以前我靠听力弹钢琴。
现在我靠双手弹。
3. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!为什么科学家不相信原子？因为它们构成了一切！4. How do you organize a space party?You just planet!怎样才能办一个太空派对？你只要把行星安排好！5. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一堵墙对另一堵墙说什么？我将在拐角处与你会面！6. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!自行车为什么不能独立站立？因为它累了！7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!被踩到的葡萄说了什么？什么都没有，它只是流出了一点葡萄酒！8. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?Nothing, they just waved!一个海洋对另一个海洋说什么？什么都没有，它们只是挥手示意！这些简单的英文笑话不仅语言简洁幽默，而且可以帮助我们理解英语中的双关语和幽默元素。
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Mr. and Mrs. Taylor had a seven-year-old boy named Pat. Now Mrs. Taylor was expecting another child.
泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的儿子，名叫帕特。
现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。
Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much, so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.
帕特在别人家看见过小宝宝，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个小宝宝的消息感到不悦。
One evening Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were making plans for the
baby's arrival. "This house won't be big enough for use all when the baby comes," said Mr. Taylor.
一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降临做安排。
泰勒先生说：“有了小宝宝，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。
”
Pat came into the room just then and said, "What are you talking about?""We were saying that we'll have to move to another house now, because the new baby's coming," his mother answered.
帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：“你们在说什么？”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们得搬家了，因为小宝宝就要来了。
”
"It's no use," said Pat hopelessly, "He'll follow us there."
“那有什么用？”帕特绝望地说。
“他会跟我们到那儿去的。
”。