幽默英语小故事欣赏.doc
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2：英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
幽默英语故事
幽默英语故事"A Hilarious English Story"Once upon a time, I had a really funny experience at my English class. There was this new teacher, Mr. Thompson, who was super enthusiastic about teaching us English. He had this big bushy mustache that wiggled whenever he talked, and his glasses were always sliding down his nose.One day, we were learning about idioms. Mr. Thompson was trying to explain the idiom "raining cats and dogs". He said, "Now, kids, 'raining cats and dogs' doesn't mean that actual cats and dogs are falling from the sky. It just means it's raining really hard." But my friend Jack, who was always a bit of a joker, raised his hand and said, "Sir, if it rained cats and dogs, would they land on their feet like normal?" Mr. Thompson looked at him for a moment, pushed his glasses back up his nose, and then said, "Well, Jack, I suppose if they were falling from the sky, they'd be so confused they might forget how to land on their feet."Then there was this girl, Lucy. She was really shy and hardly ever spoke in class. But that day, she seemed to be in a particularly good mood. When Mr. Thompson asked if anyone could make a sentence using the idiom, Lucy raised her hand. We were all really surprised. She said, "Yesterday, when I left the movie theater, it was raining cats and dogs, so I ran home as fast as I could." Mr. Thompson beamed at her and said, "Excellent, Lucy! See, everyone, that's how you use it."But then things got even funnier. Mr. Thompson wanted to do an exercise where we had to act out idioms. He called up a couple of students, including me. He told us to act out "a piece of cake". So I just pretended to easily pick up an invisible piece of cake and eat it. Another student, Tom, who was a bit clumsy, tripped over his own feet while trying to show how easy it was. Mr. Thompson laughed and said, "Well, Tom, for you it seems like 'a piece of cake' is a bit more difficult."At the end of the class, Mr. Thompson told us a joke. He said, "Why is the English language so crazy? Because it's not French!" We all laughed. That English class was one of the most hilarious and memorable ones. And from that day on, I always looked forward to Mr. Thompson's classes, just to see what kind of funny things would happen next.中文翻译从前啊，我在英语课上有一次特别搞笑的经历。
英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事故事1：The Mischievous ParrotOne day, a man named John went to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper showed him a beautiful parrot, which could speak many languages. Impressed, John decided to take it home.However, as soon as John reached home, he realized that the parrot was quite mischievous. It would imitate John's voice and play pranks on him. The parrot would hide his keys, steal his wallet, and even mimic his wife's voice to confuse him.Despite the trouble, John found the parrot's antics amusing and couldn't help but laugh. He decided to name the parrot Charlie, as it perfectly suited its cheeky personality.One day, John's friend came to visit. Charlie, being the clever parrot he was, decided to have some fun. As John and his friend sat down to chat, Charlie imitated their voices and pretended to have a conversation, switching back and forth between their voices flawlessly. John's friend was astonishedand couldn't figure out how both of them were speaking at the same time.Soon, Charlie realized that his prank had gone too far. He feared that John's friend would get upset or angry, so he quickly revealed his trick by saying, \。
幽默的英文小故事
幽默的英文小故事幽默的英文小故事（通用9篇）是不是总觉得学英语看阅读很烦躁?那是没有找到打开英语阅读的正确方式，下面，这些幽默的英文小故事，估计会让你爱上英文阅读。
幽默的英文小故事篇1As the years turn生日来临之际For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。
(根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。
)当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。
”幽默的英文小故事篇2Peer pressure同辈的压力My teen-age son，Chad，and nine of his friends came home one night with newly pierced ears. When his grandmother heard about it，she asked him why he did it.”Peerpressure," Chad told her.一天晚上，我十几岁的儿子查理，带着九个朋友回到家，他们都扎了耳朵眼儿。
幽默英语小故事带翻译
幽默英语小故事带翻译《The Bear and the Two Travelers》Two men were traveling together, when a huge bear suddenly appearedon their pathOne of the men, seeing the danger, quickly climbed up a tree and hid himself among the branches The other man, who was not so quick or agile, had no time to climb a tree So, he threw himself flat on the ground and pretended to be deadThe bear came up to the man lying on the ground It sniffed at his ears, and nudged him with its nose But the man held his breath and lay perfectly still The bear thought he was dead and walked awayWhen the bear had gone, the man in the tree climbed down He asked the man on the ground, ＂What did the bear say to you when it put its mouth close to your ear?＂The other man replied, ＂The bear said, ＇Never travel with a friendwho deserts you at the first sign of danger＇＂翻译：《熊和两个旅行者》两个男人一起旅行，突然一只巨大的熊出现在他们的路上。
英语幽默小故事14篇
Gardening Gloves For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an
allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare." Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves. 园艺手套 几个月以来，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指，因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天，我正在 干园艺活时，丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的两手都是光光的。” 那天晚上，我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的.礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看：里面包着一双园艺手套。
英语幽默小故事 篇8
Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for seve Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wound Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
英文幽默小故事
英文幽默小故事Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to tell jokes. He was known far and wide for his sense of humor and his ability to make people laugh. One day, he decided to write a book of English humorous stories to share his wit and wisdom with the world.The first story in his book was about a man who went to the doctor because he was feeling unwell. The doctor examined him and said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have a rare and incurable disease. You only have six months to live." The man was shocked and asked the doctor what he should do. The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant." The man was puzzled and asked, "Will that make me live longer?" The doctor said, "No, but it will feel like the longest six months of your life."The second story was about a man who went to a restaurant and ordered a steak. When the waiter brought it to his table, the man noticed that it was very small. He called the waiter over and said, "Excuse me, but this steak is rather small." The waiter replied, "Yes, sir. It's the perfect size for a small appetite." The man said, "But I have a big appetite!" The waiter smiled and said, "Then it's the perfect size for a big appetite as well, sir."The third story was about a man who was walking down the street when he saw a sign outside a store that said, "We sell everything for $1!" He couldn't believe it and went inside to see for himself. Sure enough, everything in the store was priced at $1. He picked up a shirt, a pair of socks, and a hat, and went to the counter to pay. The cashier said, "That will be $3, please." The man was confused and asked, "But the sign outside says everything is $1." The cashier replied, "Yes, sir. The sign is $1."The man continued to write more and more humorous stories, each one more clever and entertaining than the last. His book became a bestseller, and he was invited to speak at comedy clubs and literary events all over the world. People couldn't get enough of his funny and lighthearted tales.In the end, the man realized that laughter truly is the best medicine, and he was grateful for the opportunity to bring joy and amusement to so many people. He continued to write and tell jokes, spreading laughter wherever he went.And so, the man's book of English humorous stories became a classic, cherished by readers of all ages. It was a testament to the power of humor and the joy of sharing laughter with others. After all, as the man always said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted."。
英语幽默短故事带翻译
聪明的理发师
很久以前，在一个小村庄，有一位非常受欢迎的理发师，因为他的机智和幽默。一天，有个人来他的理发店理发。理发师给他刮胡子的时候，他们开始聊天。那个人提到他第二天要去罗马。理发师开玩笑地回答说:“在罗马小心点。那里的理发师很糟糕，他们会让你的脸上到处都是划痕和伤痕!”那个人笑了笑，付了钱，然后走了。
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
Translation:
会说话的狗
一个人看到房子前面的牌子上写着:“出售会说话的狗。”他按了门铃，主人告诉他狗在后院。那人走进后院，问狗:“你会说话吗?”
“是的，”狗回答说。
“那么，你有什么故事?”
Title: Funny Short Stories in English with Translation
English幽默短故事带翻译
1. The Clever Barber
Long ago, in a small village, there was a barber who was very popular for his wit and humor. One day, a man came to his shop for a shave. As the barber was giving him a shave, they started chatting. The man mentioned that he was going to Rome the next day. The barber jokingly replied, "Be careful in Rome. They have terrible barbers there, they will leave your face full of cuts and bruises!" The man laughed and paid for his shave, then left.
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幽默英语小故事欣赏
幽默英语小故事篇一
During the doctor s periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return. When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. Can you imagine, she said. Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!
医生按期来探视我的老母。
我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。
医生听了也很高兴，为此，他弯下腰来亲了她一下。
然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日，并要求她还他一个吻。
医生走后，我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。
你能想象吗，她说，付了他70元，我还得亲他!
幽默英语小故事篇二
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attentionof any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar billand waved it above the crowd. In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed theporter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。
无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。
一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。
先生，脚夫说道，很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。
幽默英语小故事篇三
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find hisapartment, he said, Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. Whenthe door open, push with your foot.
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。
门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。
Why use my elbow and foot?
为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?
Well, gosh, was the reply, You re not coming empty-handed, are you?
天哪! 吝啬鬼回答，你总不会空着手来吧?
幽默英语小故事篇四
After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50.Inadvertently(非故意地) the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead: Horse, saddle and bridle for $50.Immediately someone responded to the ad, That s an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, What s wrong with your horse?Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed the erroneously(错误地) typed ad.
一个人衷爱的马死了，他打算在报上登则广告如下：50元卖马鞍和马缰绳。
无意中报纸在广告语中加了个逗号，读起来成这样了，50元卖马，马鞍和马缰绳。
马上就有人询问这则广告，这马的价格真是太便宜了，询问者说，马有什么毛病吗?哦，它是死的，安排这条误入的广告的人回答道。