11种方式,教你做一个主动倾听的人(英汉双语)
【教练技术】10种倾听的有效方法
【教练技术】10种倾听的有效方法
以下10种方法，为你更好地倾听他人提供了一个参照物。
事实上，这10种方法是你
养成良好倾听习惯的核心，如果能够熟练掌握，将会使你终身受用。
10种有效的倾听方式穷人的听众更好的听众
1.发现感兴趣的地方中止内容平淡的话题擅于抓住机会询问：“与我有么关系”
2.判断内容而不是雄辩。
一旦对方口才不好，停止话题判断内容；跳过表达式错误
3.克制你的激动情绪倾向于争论在没有充分理解时决不急于做出判断
4.关注观点，只关注感兴趣的事实，关注主题
5.灵活处理仅仅使用一种方式记录所有所说的话只记要点
6.想想你听到了什么。
无精打采或心不在焉。
试着倾听并集中注意力
7.不受其他事情干扰很容易受到外界干扰排除外界干扰；容忍说话者的不良习惯并且
知道如何集中精力
8.多用大脑，而不是听复杂的内容。
你只愿意听轻松有趣的话。
你愿意倾听和思考有
分量的材料
9.保持头脑灵活自由对挑动情绪的言辞容易做出反应阐释有情绪色彩的言辞，但不纠
缠于此
10.想想你听到的事实，因为思考比说话快。
说话慢的人很容易在脑海中幻想、提问、期待和总结；善于倾听暗示。
10种倾听的技巧
10种倾听的技巧当然聆听也是有技巧的，让对方知道你有在注意听是很重要的。
以下有十种增进倾听技巧的方法：消除外在与内在的干扰外在和内在的干扰，是妨碍倾听的主要因素。
因此要改进聆听技巧的首要方法就是尽可能的消除干扰。
必须把注意力完全放在对方的身上，才能掌握对方的肢体语言，明白对方说了什么、没说什么，以及对方的话所代表的感觉与意义。
鼓励对方先开口首先，倾听别人说话本来就是一种礼貌，愿意听表示我们愿意客观地考虑别人的看法，这会让说话的人觉得我们很尊重他的意见，有助于我们建立融洽的关系，彼此接纳。
其次，鼓励对方先开口可以降低谈话中的竞争意味。
我们的倾听可以培养开放的气氛，有助于彼此交换意见。
说话的人由于不必担心竞争的压力，也可以专心掌握重点，不必忙着为自己的矛盾之处寻找遁词。
第三，对方先提出他的看法，你就有机会在表达自己的意见之前，掌握双方意见一致之处。
倾听可以使对方更加愿意接纳你的意见，让你再说话的时候，更容易说服对方。
使用并观察肢体语言当我们在和人谈话的时候，即使我们还没开口，我们内心的感觉，就已经透过肢体语言清清楚楚的表现出来了。
听话者如果态度封闭或冷淡，说话者很自然地就会特别在意自已的一举一动，比较不愿意敞开心胸。
从另一方面来说。
如果听话的人态度开放、很感兴趣，那就表示他愿意接纳对方，很想了解对方的想法，说话的人就会受到鼓舞。
而这些肢体语言包括：自然的微笑，不要交叉双臂，手不要放在脸上，身体稍微前倾，常常看对方的眼睛，点头。
非必要时，避免打断他人的谈话善于听别人说话的人不会因为自己想强调一些枝微末节、想修正对方话中一些无关紧要的部分、想突然转变话题，或者想说完一句刚刚没说完的话，就随便打断对方的话。
经常打断别人说话就表示我们不善于听人说话，个性激进、礼貌不周，很难和人沟通。
虽然说打断别人的话是一种不礼貌的行为，但是如果是「乒乓效应」则是例外。
所谓的「乒乓效应」是指听人说话的一方要适时的提出许多切中要点的问题或发表一些意见感想，来响应对方的说法。
如何做好一名倾听者英语作文
如何做好一名倾听者英语作文英文回答。
To be an effective listener is a crucial skill that can greatly enhance our communication and interpersonal relationships. It involves not only paying attention towhat others are saying, but also actively seeking to understand their message and perspective. Here are some key strategies for becoming a better listener:Give your full attention. When someone is speaking to you, make eye contact, lean in slightly, and minimize distractions. Avoid interrupting or fidgeting, as these actions can indicate that you are not fully engaged.Focus on understanding. Pay attention to both theverbal and nonverbal messages that the speaker is conveying. Try to understand their point of view, even if you do not agree with it. Ask clarifying questions if necessary, and summarize what you have heard to ensure understanding.Empathize with the speaker. Try to put yourself in the speaker's shoes and understand their emotions and experiences. This will help you to connect with them on a deeper level and build rapport.Be non-judgmental. Avoid making assumptions or criticizing the speaker's ideas. Instead, approach the conversation with an open mind and seek to learn from their perspective.Respond appropriately. Once the speaker has finished talking, respond in a way that shows that you have listened and understood. This could include asking follow-up questions, offering support, or simply summarizing what you have heard.By practicing these strategies, you can become a more effective listener and improve your communication skills in both personal and professional settings.中文回答。
做好善于倾听的人英文作文
做好善于倾听的人英文作文英文：Being a good listener is an essential skill that everyone should possess. It not only helps in building strong relationships but also improves one's communication skills. As a person who values communication, I believe that being a good listener requires patience, empathy, and the ability to understand others' perspectives.Firstly, patience is key to being a good listener. You need to give the other person enough time to express their thoughts and feelings without interrupting them. Interrupting someone while they are speaking can make them feel unheard and unimportant, which can damage the relationship.Secondly, empathy is crucial in being a good listener. You need to put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand how they are feeling. This helps inbuilding a connection with the other person and makes them feel understood and supported.Lastly, being able to understand others' perspectivesis important in being a good listener. You need to be open-minded and willing to listen to different opinions and ideas. This helps in building a healthy and respectful relationship where both parties feel valued and heard.中文：成为一位善于倾听的人是每个人都应该具备的基本技能。
主动倾听的技巧
主动倾听的技巧
主动倾听是一种积极投入对话的状态，它需要你充分关注对话内容，并努力理解对方的观点和情感。
以下是一些主动倾听的技巧：
1、保持开放和尊重的态度：保持开放的心态，不要预设自己的观点或反应。
尊重对方的感受和观点，给予对方充分表达自己的机会。
2、关注对方的言语和非言语信息：注意对方说话的内容、语调和肢体语言等非言语信息。
这些信息可以帮助你更全面地理解对方的情感和意图。
3、回应并确认：在对话中，通过点头、微笑等方式回应对方，表明你在关注和理解。
同时，确认你的理解是否正确，可以问一些问题来澄清对方的观点。
4、避免打断对方：在对方表达自己的过程中，不要打断或提前预测对方要说的话。
给予对方充分表达的机会，然后再回应。
5、问问题：在对话中，如果有不明白的地方，可以问问题来澄清。
这不仅表明你在认真倾听，也有助于你更深入地理解对方的观点。
6、避免主观判断：尽量客观地倾听对方的意见，不要急于做出主观评价或判断。
如果需要表达自己的观点，可以先确认对方的观点和感受，然后再表达自己的看法。
7、总结和回顾：在对话结束时，回顾一下讨论的主要内容和观点，确保自己已经充分理解对方的意图和需求。
如果有需要补充或澄清的地方，及时提出。
总之，主动倾听是一种积极的沟通方式，它需要你投入充分的关注和理解，以建立良好的对话关系。
通过运用上述技巧，你可以更好地倾听和理解他人，促进有效的沟通和交流。
10种增进倾听的技巧
10种增进倾听的技巧倾听是一种重要的交流技巧，可以帮助我们建立良好的人际关系，提高沟通的效果。
下面是10种增进倾听的技巧。
1.给予充分的注意力：当与他人交谈时，要专注于对方，摆脱其他杂念的干扰，全神贯注地聆听对方的讲话。
2.眼神接触：与对方保持良好的眼神接触，表示对对方的尊重和关注。
这样也能更好地理解对方的意思和情感。
3.表达肯定态度：通过肢体语言、表情和声音，向对方传达出你理解和支持他们的信息。
比如，微笑、点头或其他积极的肢体语言。
4.不要打断对方：让对方表达完整个思想或观点，不要中断或打断他们的讲话。
尽量等待一个自然的停顿才回应。
5.提问和澄清：适时地通过提问澄清对方的意思。
可以使用开放性问题帮助对方更好地表达自己的观点和感受。
6.给予反馈：在对方讲话时，可以通过回应、摘要或总结的方式来反馈对方的意思。
这不仅可以帮助你更好地理解对方，也可以让对方感受到你的关注和理解。
7.接受沉默：有时候，对方可能需要时间来表达自己的思考和感受。
在这个时候，接受沉默是很重要的，不要急于插话或打断对方的思路。
8.尽量少用干扰性回应：避免使用充满情感或个人偏见的回应，而是试图理解和接受对方的观点。
避免过分的评判和批评。
9.倾听非言语信息：不仅要听对方的话语，还要关注他们的声音、表情、肢体语言等非言语信息。
这可以帮助我们更全面地理解对方的意思和情感。
10.给予积极回应：在对方表达完毕后，要给予积极的回应，比如表达理解、提供建议或鼓励等。
这样可以增进交流的效果，建立更好的人际关系。
以上是10种增进倾听的技巧。
倾听是一项需要不断实践和提高的技能，通过积极应用这些技巧，我们可以更好地与他人交流，理解对方的需要和情感。
如何成为一个积极的倾听者英语作文
如何成为一个积极的倾听者英语作文全文共3篇示例，供读者参考篇1How to Become a Positive ListenerBeing a good listener is really important. When you listen well, you understand people better, you learn more, and you make others feel valued. But listening is also really hard sometimes! It's easy to get distracted or zone out when someone is talking, especially if it's about something you don't find very interesting.The good news is that listening is a skill you can practice and get better at over time. By working on becoming a positive listener, you'll be able to focus more, comprehend what people are saying, and have better conversations and relationships. Here are some tips for how to be a top-notch listener:Pay Attention With Your Whole BodyIt's not just about using your ears to listen - you have to be ready with your eyes, your posture, and your expressions too. Face the person speaking and make eye contact to show you're focused on them. Sit or stand up straight instead of slouching orfidgeting. Nod your head occasionally and smile to let them know you're taking in what they're saying. Looking interested and engaged helps you concentrate better.Ask QuestionsOne of the best ways to show you're listening is to ask follow-up questions about what the person just said. You could ask them to explain part of it in more detail, give an example of what they mean, or tell you more about how they feel about the topic. Asking questions proves you were absorbing their words and want to understand better. It also helps prevent misunderstandings.Don't InterruptIt's so hard to wait your turn to talk when you get an idea you're excited to share. But interrupting someone is really rude and shows you aren't listening fully. Practice being patient and letting people complete their thoughts before you jump in. You can make a mental note about what you want to say and come back to it after they've finished speaking.Put Aside DistractionsThese days, there are so many potential distractions like phones, video games, siblings making noise, and more. Whensomeone is trying to talk to you, put all of that other stuff aside. Turn off or silence your devices, move to a quieter space if possible, and give that person your undivided attention, even if it's just for a few minutes. Distractions make it almost impossible to focus.Don't Judge or Start ArguingSometimes people say things you really disagree with or that you think are wrong or silly. When that happens, it's easy to start judging them in your head or planning out your argument against what they're saying. But doing that means you've stopped listening! Try to have an open mind and hear them out fully before deciding if you want to debate it. You might find their perspective makes more sense than you thought.Check Your UnderstandingAnother way to confirm you comprehended what someone said is to rephrase it in your own words. You could say something like "So what you're saying is..." and then summarize their main points. This lets them clarify if you misunderstood any part of their message. It's also useful for complex topics to repeat back the key points you heard.Use Listening NoisesLittle noises like "uh-huh," "mmhmm," and "I see" provide feedback that you're listening without actually saying words that could interrupt their flow. They reassure the speaker that you're tracking along with them. Just be sure not to overdo it and make too many distracting listening sounds!Remember DetailsThe ultimate way to prove you were really tuning in is to be able to recall specific details about what the person discussed. Were they telling a story about their family vacation? See if you can remember the names of people or places they mentioned. Were they explaining how to play a game? Repeat back the most important rules they covered. Bringing up these types of details in your responses shows you weren't just hearing words, but absorbing the meaning behind them.Being a positive, engaged listener makes conversations more enjoyable and productive for everyone involved. When you give people your full attention and focus, they feel respected and understood. You'll gain so much more insight into their experiences, thoughts and feelings. Your relationships with friends, family members, and teachers are bound to get stronger.Of course, listening well takes a lot of practice, especially for kids. Our minds get preoccupied so easily! But the more youwork on listening skills now, the better you'll get. Soon you'll be able to stay tuned in to what others are saying without struggling as hard. What a great gift to give the people in your life – the gift of listening! Let's all put in the effort to become positive listeners.篇2How to Become a Great ListenerHi friends! Today I want to talk to you about the importance of being a good listener. Listening is such an important skill, but it's one that many people struggle with. We often get distracted or don't pay full attention when someone else is speaking. But being a great listener can really help you in life – it makes people feel valued, helps you learn new things, and allows you to better understand others.So how can you become an awesome listener? I've got some tops tips to share!Tip #1: Give the speaker your full attentionWhen someone is talking to you, really focus on them. Look at them, don't fidget or play with your pencil case, and try not to think about your next snack or that funny video you watchedearlier. Giving your complete attention shows respect and lets the speaker know you care about what they're saying.Tip #2: Don't interruptI know it can be tempting to jump in when you have something to say, but interrupting is rude and makes the speaker feel like you don't value their words. Unless it's an emergency, wait patiently until they've finished their thought before you speak up.Tip #3: Ask questionsIf there's something you don't understand or want to know more about, ask questions! Questions show you're interested and want to learn. Just be sure to let the person finish before you ask, don't interrupt with your questions.Tip #4: Don't judgeSometimes people will say things you disagree with or find silly or boring. But a good listener holds back judgement and criticism. Give them a chance to fully explain their point before deciding if you agree or not. Don't roll your eyes, sigh, or make rude comments – that's disrespectful.Tip #5: Listen with your whole bodyIt's not just about your ears! To be a great listener, you need to look engaged with your whole body. Face the speaker, make eye contact, nod your head, and have an open and relaxed posture. Crossing your arms or turning away makes you look disinterested.Tip #6: Don't get distractedThese days there are so many things that can distract us and pull our attention away – phones, tablets, TVs, and more. When someone is speaking to you, eliminate distractions. Silence your phone, close your laptop, and give the speaker your undivided focus.Tip #7: Show you're listeningTo have a good conversation, make sure the speaker knows you're actively listening. You can do this by summarizing what they've said in your own words, nodding and making acknowledgement sounds like "uh huh" and "I see," and asking follow-up questions about points you want them to expand on.Tip #8: Be patientSometimes people will ramble, go off on side tangents, or take a while to make their point. A positive listener is patient and lets the speaker follow their own train of thought, rather thanrushing them or cutting them off. As long as they're making sense, be patient and hear them out.Tip #9: Listen for tone and body languageThe words someone uses are important, but so is their tone of voice and body language. Are they speaking loudly or softly? Looking away or making eye contact? Seeming nervous or confident? All of these clues can give you hints about how they really feel and the full meaning behind their words.Tip #10: Don't plan your response while they're talkingWhen you start thinking about how you're going to reply, it's easy to stop truly listening and miss important parts of what the other person is saying. Focus just on listening at first. Then, once they've finished speaking, take a moment to form your response.Being a great listener takes practice, but it's a skill that will really help you in your friendships, your schoolwork, and your life. People are more likely to listen to you if you listen to them first. You'll learn so much more by fully listening to your teachers, parents, and friends. And you'll make others feel appreciated and respected.So give these tips a try! Start working on becoming an awesome, positive listener today. And let me know if you have any other great listening tips to add to the list!篇3How to Become a Positive ListenerHi friends! Today I want to talk to you about something really important - listening. You might be thinking "But I already know how to listen! I use my ears all the time." Well, you're right that listening does involve using your ears. But there's a lot more to it than just hearing sounds.Being a good listener means really paying attention and trying to understand what the other person is saying and feeling. It's an important skill that can help you in school, with your family and friends, and even when you grow up and have a job someday. The bad news is that listening well isn't always easy. The good news is that anyone can learn to be a better listener if they practice!Why Listening MattersBefore we talk about how to be a better listener, let's discuss why it matters so much. Have you ever tried to tell a story to your parents or friends, but they seemed distracted and not reallylistening? How did that make you feel? Probably frustrated, unimportant, and maybe even a little sad. When people don't listen, it tells the speaker that what they have to say doesn't matter.On the other hand, when you really listen, it shows that you care about and respect the other person. It makes them feel valued. It also helps you understand them better so you can be a good friend. Listening matters a lot for getting along well with others!Good listening skills can also help you learn better in school. If you listen carefully when your teacher is giving instructions or explaining a new idea, you'll understand it much better than if you zoned out. Good listeners tend to be better students overall.The Signs of Poor ListeningNow that you know why listening matters, let's talk about the signs that you or someone else might not be listening very well:Looking away/avoiding eye contact with the speakerFidgeting or seeming distractedInterrupting the speaker frequentlyNot responding to what the speaker saysQuickly changing the subjectIf you notice yourself or others doing these things, it's a sign that your listening skills could use some work! The good news is that with some tips and practice, you can become a much better listener.Tips for Becoming a Positive ListenerHere are some great tips that can help you be a more positive, engaged listener:Make eye contact. Look at the speaker to show you're focused on them. But don't stare too hard - that can be uncomfortable!Put away distractions. Don't play with toys or fidget gadgets when someone is talking to you. Turn off the TV or video games so you can concentrate.Don't interrupt. As hard as it can be sometimes, fight the urge to jump in while the other person is still talking. Let them finish their thought before you respond.Ask questions. If you don't understand something, ask the speaker to explain further or give an example. This shows you were really listening.Repeat back what you heard. After the person finishes speaking, you can say something like "So what you're saying is..." and repeat back the main point to confirm you understood correctly.Share relevant thoughts and experiences. While you shouldn't interrupt, you can share related thoughts or experiences once the speaker is done. This shows engagement.Have positive body language. Nod, smile, and lean in a bit to show you're listening attentively rather than slouching or looking bored.Put yourself in the speaker's shoes. Try to imagine how the speaker might be feeling about what they're telling you. This builds empathy.Don't judge or criticize. Even if you disagree with what someone is saying, just listen first without arguing or putting them down.Give the speaker your full attention. Don't think about your own response while they're still talking. Focus just on listening.It takes practice to get better at listening, but using these tips can help a lot. Remember, listening makes the other person feel valued and respected. It also helps you learn and understand better. We could all use more positive listeners in the world!Being a Positive Listener in ActionOkay, now that you know the tips for positive listening, let me give you an example of what it might look like in action. Let's say your friend Sara is telling you about a problem she's been having with another friend:Sara: "Hey, can I tell you what happened with Alex yesterday? We got into an argument and I'm really upset."YOU: "Of course, I'm listening." (You put down your video game controller, make eye contact with Sara, and turn your body to face her fully, showing you're giving her your full attention.)Sara: "Okay, so you know how Alex and I have been best friends since kindergarten? Well yesterday at lunch, she was talking to some other girls and laughing really loud about something. I walked over and asked what was so funny..."YOU: (Nod and say) "Mmm hmm..." (to show you're tracking so far, but don't interrupt her story.)Sara: "Well, then Alex looked at me and started laughing more and said 'We're laughing about that weird new haircut you got!' And the other girls started laughing too. I felt so embarrassed and hurt because Alex knows how sensitive I am about my looks, ever since those mean girls used to tease me in 3rd grade about my freckles."YOU: "Oh no, that's terrible." (You put a hand on her arm to show empathy and concern). "How did you respond to Alex?"Sara: "Well, I got really upset and yelled 'Fine, forget it then!' and I stormed off. I've been avoiding her since because I'm still mad. But I also feel bad because we've been best friends for so long over one stupid comment, you know?"YOU: "I understand." (You nod). "It sounds like you're feeling hurt that your best friend made fun of your appearance, especially knowing how insecure you've felt about that in the past. But you're also wondering if you overreacted a bit since you've been such close friends with Alex for years. Is that right?"Sara: "Yes, exactly! I don't know if I should talk to her about it or what..."YOU: (Share a related experience) "You know, I had a kind of similar thing happen with Jake last year. He made a commentabout my accent that really bothered me, even though I know he probably didn't mean anything bad by it. I ended up talking to him about how it made me feel, and he felt terrible for hurting my feelings. Once he understood, he apologized and we were able to move past it..."(Then you say) "But every situation is different. What do you think you might want to do?"As this example shows, being a positive listener involves much more than just hearing words. It's about giving your full attention and focus, showing empathy and care for the speaker's feelings, and responding in a way that helps them feel understood.It can take a lot of practice to get good at this, but keep working on those listening tips and you'll get there! Being a positive listener will help you have better friendships, do better in school, and be a more caring, compassionate person overall. I hope these ideas have inspired you to work on this important skill. Keep listening, my friends!。
怎样做一个好的倾听者英语作文
怎样做一个好的倾听者英语作文English:Being a good listener involves more than just hearing words; it requires empathy, patience, and genuine interest in understanding others. To excel in this skill, one must first cultivate the ability to focus entirely on the speaker, avoiding distractions and withholding judgment. Active listening, which involves nodding, maintaining eye contact, and providing verbal cues, demonstrates your engagement and encourages the speaker to express themselves fully. Furthermore, paraphrasing what the speaker has said not only confirms understanding but also shows respect for their perspective. Empathy plays a crucial role in effective listening, as it allows you to connect with the speaker emotionally, acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences. Patience is essential, as it involves allowing the speaker to express themselves fully without interrupting or rushing them. Lastly, genuine interest means being curious about the speaker's thoughts and feelings, asking open-ended questions to delve deeper into their perspective. By embodying these qualities, one can truly become a good listener, fostering meaningful connections and nurturing relationships.中文翻译:成为一个好的倾听者不仅仅是听到言辞，还需要具备同理心、耐心和对他人真诚的兴趣。
如何成为一个积极的倾听者英语作文
如何成为一个积极的倾听者英语作文英文回答：How to Become an Active Listener.Becoming an active listener is a crucial skill for effective communication. It involves more than simply hearing what someone has to say; it requires you to engage fully, comprehend their message, and respond appropriately. Here are some practical tips on how to become an active listener:1. Give your full attention: When someone is speaking to you, put aside all distractions and focus your complete attention on them. Make eye contact, lean in slightly, and adopt an open body language that conveys interest.2. Listen without judgment: Avoid interrupting or forming judgments about what the speaker is saying. Allow them to express themselves freely without feeling pressuredor criticized. Your role is to understand their perspective, not to evaluate it.3. Ask clarifying questions: If you don't fully understand something, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. This shows that you are engaged andinterested in what they have to say.4. Summarize and paraphrase: Restate the speaker's main points in your own words to demonstrate that you were listening attentively. This also helps you to confirm your understanding and identify any areas where you need further clarification.5. Use verbal and non-verbal cues: Use verbal cues like nodding, saying "yes" or "I understand," and non-verbalcues like maintaining eye contact and smiling to show that you are following what is being said.6. Be empathetic: Try to put yourself in the speaker's shoes and understand their emotions. This will help you to respond with empathy and compassion.7. Manage your own emotions: Pay attention to your own emotional reactions and avoid letting them interfere with your listening. If you find yourself becoming defensive or disengaged, take a moment to calm yourself down and refocus.8. Identify the speaker's purpose: Consider thespeaker's goals and intentions for communicating. This will help you to better understand their message and respond appropriately.9. Suspend your own assumptions: Avoid making assumptions about what the speaker is going to say based on your own experiences or biases. Listen with an open mindand let their words guide your understanding.10. Practice regularly: Active listening is a skillthat takes practice to develop. Make a conscious effort to implement these techniques in your daily conversations.中文回答：如何成为一名积极的倾听者。
成为聆听者ToBeaListener
成为聆听者ToBeaListener成为聆听者 T o Be a ListenerWhen we are happy, we will be like to share our happiness with others, making them to know our enjoyment. But when we are not in the good mood, we are so upset about so many things, at this moment, we are in need of someone who can listen to us. Being a listener is not easy, people always complain about their worries, the listener must be do the job not only listen to them, but also learn to comfort them. To be a good listener can help us make good friends with others, and get the high praise from friends. The one who always listen to others will be easy going, people like to make friends with them, when they are in trouble, their friends are will ing to help them. From now on, let’s learn to be a considerate person, being other people’s sweet heart.当我们高兴的时候，我们会乐意和别人分享我们的幸福，让他们了解我们的快乐。
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11种方式，教你做一个主动倾听的人Listening is arguably the most important element of interpersonal communication. Our ability to listen well impacts the quality of all of our relationships, and not just at home with our family and friends—it can also affect our relationships and interactions on the job, as well as the effectiveness and quality of our work.倾听可以说是人际交往中最重要的因素。
我们倾听的能力影响了我们人际关系的好坏，不只是和我们的家人朋友的关系——它也会影响我们在工作中的关系和相互作用，而且也会影响到我们工作的效率和质量。
Listening is not something that comes naturally or easily for most of us, however; it is a skill that must be cultivated and practiced. Active listening means, as its name suggests, means that we make a conscious and concerted effort to fully engage with the speaker. Active listening is the difference between simply hearing, and listening with the intent to truly understand. It is a subtle but important distinction. 对于我们大部分人来说，倾听并不是自然和简单的事，然而它是一个我们必须加以训练的技能。
主动倾听，顾名思义，表示我们与讲话的人做出了有意识的和协调一致的努力。
积极倾听不同于简单的听见，而且有目的的倾听才能去理解。
这是一种微妙但是重要的区别。
A Few Active Listening Guidelines几条主动倾听的指南：1. Give focused attention集中注意力Try to minimize external distractions. Turn down the noise, and put down or stepaway from what you’re doing if possible. Also, set aside other internal thinking and dialo gue. Don’t watch the clock, fidget or go over your to-do list for later.尽量减少外部干扰。
将噪声降低，如果可能的话请停止你正在做的事情。
同时，抛开其他的思维活动和内心对话。
不要看表、坐立不安或者翻看你的待办事项。
2. Maintain eye contact保持眼神接触Direct eye contact shows your attention and intention to listen. This doesn’t me an stare though. Intense eye contact can be intimidating to some—especially the shy or introverted. Be reasonable, but try not to let your eyes wander to whatever is going on around you.直接的目光接触表现了你倾听的注意力和意图，但这不表示要盯着看。
激烈的眼神接触可能吓到一些人——特别是害羞或性格内向的人。
要有合理的眼神接触，但是不要让眼神游离于周围发生的事情上。
3. Smile微笑Facial expressions convey a lot, and a smile is open, inviting, and encouraging.面部表情传达了很多信息，微笑是坦率、有魅力、鼓舞的表达。
4. Watch body language注意身体语言Be conscious of your body language. Keep an open posture, a non-aggressivestance, face the speaker(s), lean in rather than away, watch yourhands, how you tilt your head and your expressions. (For instance, I tend to cross my arms in front of me because it feels comfortable and wrinkle my brow because I’m concentrating, but this body l anguage can appear defensive or critical, so I need to make an effort to soften a bit.) Pay attention to the speaker’s body language as well. It works both ways.要对你的身体语言多加注意。
做出坦率的姿势，不要有攻击性，面对着谈话者，靠向他而不是远离他，不要夹着手，注意头部倾斜的角度和表情。
（比如，我因为舒适而倾向于双手环抱在胸前，因为专注而略微皱眉头，但是这种身体语言表示防卫和批判，因此我需要努力变得温和一些。
）同时，注意讲话者的身体语言。
这种语言是双向的。
5. Offer encouragement给予鼓励Nod occasionally, and offer a judiciously placed ‘Yes,’ “OK”. ‘I understand”, or“Good”. Just be careful not to overdo it or you risk coming across as irritating or rushing. If used sparingly and authentically, encouragement is affirming.偶尔点头，并且在合适的时机说“是的”、“好的”、“我理解”和“不错”等话。
但是请注意，这些词语不能过量使用，否则你会给人恼怒和冲动的印象。
如果我们偶尔正确地使用它们，那就肯定可以给予他人鼓励。
6. Allow silence允许沉默Silence in a conversation can be scary, but a pause allows the speaker to gather their thoughts and for you to digest what is being said.在一场谈话中，沉默看起来很吓人，但是暂停可以让讲话者整理他的想法，并且让你消化已经说过的话。
7. Don’t interrupt!不要打断！It’s disrespectful and distracting.这很无理，而且会让讲话者分心。
8. Reflect back反馈Restate, but don’t repeat verbatim. Par aphrase what you think the other party is saying with responses such as: “What I’m hearing is…” or “Let me see if I’m following you…” Reflecting back what you’ve heard signals that you’re attempting to understand fully.重申，而不是逐字重复。
用你的方式讲出对方的话，比如：“我听到的是……” 或者“我让想想，我理解你的意思应该是……”反映你听到的信息表明了你的充分了解。
9. Clarify澄清Ask relevant questions to make sure you understand. Make them open-ended questions, if possible. A “yes” or “no” may confirm, but an explanation offers more information. Probe for feelings.Sometimes the emotions behind the words are more important than the words themselves when someone is seeking to be understood.为了确保理解，提问相关的问题。
如果可以的话，问题需要是开放式的。
一个“是”或者“不”可以确认，但是解释会提供更多的信息。
寻求意见。
有时，如果有人想要被理解，言语后的情感比言语本身更重要。
10. Keep an open-mind保持开放的心态Defer judgments, whether agreement or disagreement and don’t make assumptions. Wait until the speaker is finished before formulating opinions. It’s so hard not to think about what you’re going to say next, especially if there’s disagreement, but you miss what is being said if you’re thinking about your own response.不要急于判断是否同意，也不要提出假设。
在发言者表达观点前，稍作等待。
不去想你将要说什么很困难，特别是当你有不同意见时，但是如果你在想自己的回复时，你会错过正在说的东西。
11. Respond appropriately做出适当的回应Be open and honest in your responses. Share your thoughts, in sights and feelings in a clear, but respectful and considerate manner. You can acknowledge the speaker’s concerns and thoughts even if you disagree…especially when you disagree.做出坦率和真诚的回复。