初中英语笑话
适合初中学生的英语笑话
适合初中学生的英语笑话从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的调剂品,它使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。
本文是适合初中学生的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!适合初中学生的英语笑话篇一WomenA Sikh, an Italian & a Frenchman were drinking in a pub when the subject ofWOMAN came up in their conversation.The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.The Frenchman said, in France, we treat the woman like cognac. We smell first & then lick slowly. What about the woman in your country,Mr Singh?The Italian asked.In our country, we treat the woman like a record. First we play the front &/when we finish, we flip it over & play the back.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇二Bill GatesBill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do somethingI've never done before; in your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.""Fine, but where should I go first?""I'll leave that up to you.""Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."So Bill went to Hell.It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased."This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!""Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision."Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons."How's everything going?" he asked Bill.Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water "That was the SCREENSAVER," replied God.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇三CoincidenceA man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a triple martini. The bartender says "What a coincidence, the only other person at the bar is that beautiful woman at the other end. She is also drinking triple martinis".After a few sips of his drink, the man walks up to the woman and says, "Isn't it a coincidence that we are both having the same drink".She replies "Yes! I am here because I am celebrating. After 20 years of trying I am finally pregnant!""What a coincidence" the man replied. "I am also celebrating.After years of experimenting, I have invented a multicolored chicken. At this, the woman asked "How did you ever accomplish that!?"."I had to try a lot of different cocks" he said. The woman replied"What a coincidence"适合初中学生的英语笑话篇四son-in-lawA 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother."Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room shaking her head.The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he found his daughter using the vibrator."What the hell are you doing he asked.His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I'm 40 years old now and I'm ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head.The next day, the mother came home and found her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other watching the football game onTV. "What on Earth are you doing?" she cried.The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the football game with my son-in-law!!"。
关于初中的英语笑话带翻译
关于初中的英语笑话带翻译笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
本文是关于初中的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇一How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。
“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。
”老板狐疑地看着他。
“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。
”关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇二Three SurgeonsThree famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."三个外科医生三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。
初中英语笑话
1.Oncetwohunterswenthuntingintheforest.Oneofthem suddenlyfelldownbyaccident.Heshowedthewhitesofhiseyesandseemedtohavec easedbreathing.Theotherhuntersoontookouthis mobilephonetocalltheemergencycenterforhelp.Theoperatorsaidcalmly:"Fir st,youshouldmakesurethatheisalreadydead."Thentheoperatorheardagunshot fromtheotherendofthephoneandnextheheardthehunterasking:"WhatshouldIdo next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”2.Letmetakeitdown Anelephantsaidtoamouse,"nodoubtthatyouarethesmallestznd mostuselessthingthatIhaveeverseen.""Pless,sayitagain.Letmetakeitdown."themousesaid."Iwilltella fleawhatIknow."为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
”“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。
”老鼠说。
“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
3.WateringFlowerInRainTom:Whydoyouhavethatwateringcan?Dan:I'mgoingtowatertheflowers.Tom:Butit'draining.Dan:That'sOK.I'mwear-ingmyraincoat.雨天浇花汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？丹：我要去浇花。
[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中
![[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/348ddb3030126edb6f1aff00bed5b9f3f90f72d6.png)
[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中简短的英语笑话带翻译篇1A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:有一名男子正走在街上的时候听到一个声音：“Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."“停!站住不要动瞅口果你再走一步，就会有一个砖块掉到你的头上砸死你。
”The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.这名男子停住了，一个大砖块就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .这名男子非常惊讶。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.他继续向前走：不久后，他要穿越马路。
Once again the voice shouted;那个声音再次叫说：Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."“停!站住不要动，如果你再走一步，就会有一辆汽车辗过你，你就会死掉。
”The man did as he was instructed,这名男子因为曾被指示过，所以就照着做，just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.此时正好有一辆汽车左摇右晃地冲过转角处，差一点撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "这名男子问说：“你在哪里?你是谁?”"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.这个声音回答说：“我是你的守护天使。
初中生经典英文笑话大全
初中生经典英文笑话大全冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。
它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。
小编精心收集了初中生经典英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!初中生经典英文笑话：Got a headacheIt was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife."That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits," he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"At first she declined. But finally persuaded by her husband, she took off her blouse and bra.The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down."Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes and we'll see what he does."Again she said no and again he persuaded her.This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the cage.The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and pushed his wife in. "Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell HIM you have a headache!"初中生经典英文笑话：The Slow RacehorseThe racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.He turned on the jockey."Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?""Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."初中生经典英文笑话：The Mink CoatA man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm."Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of theshop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetlywhispers,"Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for$65,000.""No problem! I'll write you a check!""Very good, sir." says the shop owner."Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner isoutraged: "How dare youshow your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!""I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"初中生经典英文笑话：The Biker's DogA highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hairgrowing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?""Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir." "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?" "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy." "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?" "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."初中生经典英文笑话：My Dog SpotJohn got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said."I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make ahoop with your arms, he'll jump through."The dog followed John onto the balcony and started rolling over. John made a hoop with his arms and Spot jumped through--over the balcony railing. Just then John's date walked out."Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?""To tell the the truth, " he replied, "Spot seemed a little depressed to me!"。
初中英文小笑话及翻译
初中英文小笑话及翻译前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
小编精心收集了初中英文小笑话及翻译，供大家欣赏学习!初中英文小笑话及翻译篇1相同的投资相同的结果A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well."有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。
两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除了一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。
你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。
” 猎人说：“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机，就让我们带两只水牛，还有一些其他的动物上机!”So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashedlast year." 因为他们这样抗议，所以那个新飞行员想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说：“好吧!如果去年可以做到，今年应该也可以。
关于初中英语小笑话大全
关于初中英语小笑话大全近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。
我整理了关于初中英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!关于初中英语小笑话篇一At the bank where I was employed as a teller we were not allowed to eat while working. But one day，five months pregnant，I was ravenous. I opened a bag of potato chips and started to devour them. Just then I spotted one of our best customers and his wife heading my way. Quickly, I wiped my mouth and greeted them. As I processed their transaction，I noticed they were looking at me oddly.在银行我做出纳员，这里规定工作时不许吃东西。
但有一天，我因怀孕五个月有点嘴馋，打开了一包土豆片，开始偷吃起来。
这时，我看见一个熟悉的顾客和他的妻子朝我的窗口走来。
我匆忙地擦了一下嘴，向他们打了个招呼。
当我在给他们办理业务时，我注意到他们一直用一种异样的目光看着我。
On their way out, the man said,“I don't understand these youngpeople.”在他们往外走的路上，那个男的说:“我真搞不懂这些年轻人。
’，"Dear，that's a fashion statement，”his wife explained."It's a new type of brooch.”“亲爱的，那是新潮。
有关英语小笑话带翻译初中生可以理解
有关英语小笑话带翻译初中生可以理解在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。
小编精心收集了有关英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!有关英语小笑话带翻译篇1Son： Mum ,if someone broke your best. vase what would you do?儿子：妈妈，如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶，你会怎么办?Mum：I'd spank him and send him to bed without any supper!妈妈：我要揍他，还不让他吃晚饭就去睡觉!Son： Well,you' d better get the slipper. Dad's just broken it !儿子：好了，你准备好拖鞋吧，爸爸刚把那只花瓶摔碎了。
有关英语小笑话带翻译篇2Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnny?保姆: 约翰尼，你难道不喜欢你新生的小妹妹?Johnny: She's all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.约翰尼: 她还可以，但要是个男孩就好了。
威利·史密斯有一个新生的小妹妹。
现在他该认为我又在跟他学了。
有关英语小笑话带翻译篇3Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johmmy,and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?妈妈: 约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。
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1. Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes andseemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out hismobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then theoperator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and nexthe heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”2.Let me take it downAn elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest zndmost useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .""Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell aflea what I know."为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
”“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。
”老鼠说。
“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
3.Watering Flower In RainTom:Why doyou have that watering can?Dan:I'm going to water the flowers.Tom:But it'd raining.Dan:That's OK.I'm wear-ing my raincoat.雨天浇花汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？丹：我要去浇花。
汤姆：可是，在下雨呀！丹：没关系，我穿着雨衣呢！4. Two birlsTeacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow isbeside the swallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
5、he Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the littlegirl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
" 小女孩回答道。
6、The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and threewere six and then she said that two and four were six too....."新老师9 月1 日，乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说 3 加3 得6, 可后来又说 2 加4 也得6。
"7、 A physics ExaminationOnce in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lightingfirst, then hear the thunderrolls?Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
5.Too Fast or Too SlowA man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtookhim."Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked."NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."太慢或太快一个男人正在以130 英里每小时的速度行驶，当一个警察看见他时，他问：“我开的太快了吗？警官。
”“不”，警察说，“你飞的太慢了。
”6.Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do withthe money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two centsmore. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。
”7. Nest and HairMy sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupilsthat a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom."What kind of bird?" my sister asked."I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child."Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her ."Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "Notes:(1) inform v.告诉(2) nest n.窝；巢(3) description n.描述(4) encourage v鼓.励(5) resemble v. 相似；类似鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。
一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。
”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。
”8.He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. Hehurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and hewon.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
9.I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。