小学英语小笑话

小学英语小笑话1)TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

Slow".

汤姆的借口

老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

DID YOUR DAD...

小学英语小笑话2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"

and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"

汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"

吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"

附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.

小学英语小笑话4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

小学英语小笑话5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”

“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”

一盒小火柴

妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”

“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”

小学英语小笑话6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!

开车

父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。

苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。

小学英语小笑话7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.

“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

“She is the one who sells the candy.”

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

小学英语小笑话8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”

“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.

“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.

“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”

他的耳朵在我的衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”

小学英语小笑话9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

小学英语小笑话10)

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

Two Pieces of Cake

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

两块蛋糕

汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？

妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！

A Girl's Name

When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late（已故的）father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine（男性的） .

Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.

Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.

女孩的名字

女儿出生时，我们给她取名叫迈尔斯，和我深爱的也已过世的父亲同一个名字，不过家人提醒这个名字太男性化了。

几年以后，我觉得迈尔斯已经长大，能够懂事了。我对她解释说：你的名字很特别。我给你取了一个和我爸爸一样的名字，因为我非常爱他。我相信他会为你而深感自豪的。

迈尔斯很仔细地想了一下，然后说道：这些我都懂，妈妈。可是我不知道外公为什么会有一个女孩子的名字。

On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。

Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

Nothing, Mum, answered the son proudly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

母亲问她年幼的儿子：宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么？

儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：…吠狗不咬人。?”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.

After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?" "Certainly"

"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."

"Then why you didn't take it back?"

"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。

儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢？”

“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。

“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。

A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad（少年，小伙子） . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.

So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.

一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么？

这样，他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。

Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands.

老师：如果我左手上有7个桔子，右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么？

学生：大手。

When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count

'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the

ceremony will be perfect.

The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?

杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：一月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：我叔叔几月走的？

The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on（溺爱，宠爱）him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?"

"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。

他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”

“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。

“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

Comparison

Geoffrey says to his father (who is looking at his son’s report card). So I don’t get the highest marks in the class, do you get the highest salary in the office?

比较

杰弗里对爸爸说（爸爸正在看儿子地成绩单）：我在班里没有拿到最高的成绩，那你在单位里拿到最高的薪水了吗？

A：What’s on your hand？

B：Watch.

A：How to spell that？

B：T-H-A-T~

Don't be selfish

A mother is admonishing her son.

Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.

But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.

别太自私

一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。

"听着，约翰，别太自私，让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。

"妈妈，我是让他。我先骑下坡，他再骑上坡。

Great Event

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

林肯过生日

老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？

小威利：亚伯拉罕·林肯诞生。

老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？

小威利：亚伯拉罕·林肯过他的三周岁生日。

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"

Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊？”

杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。”

初一英语小笑话

Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired." 中文：我的同事有好几小时不见人了。我们疯了地到处找他。最后老板发现，他正在睡大觉。没叫醒他，老板悄无声息地在我的同事的胸前放了个纸条。“睡觉时”，条上写着，“你是我的员工，醒来你就不是了 1)TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。" A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him,” Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？” “是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。” )Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 开车父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。 )Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.

小学生英语笑话故事(三篇)

小学生英语笑话故事（三篇）【导语】英语故事会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆，这种记忆不同于一般的死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住单词，并且不枯燥。小学生英语笑话故事篇一 Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane. His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes. After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, dont they?" "Those are ants," answered his friend. "Were still on the ground." 第一次坐飞机约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机,他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以,有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时,约翰逊先生非常担心,不敢接受。不过,由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的,约翰逊先生终于被说服了,登上了飞机。他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落,所以他吓得紧闭双眼。过了一两分钟,他睁开双眼朝窗外望去,接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人,他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小,是不是?” “那些就是蚂蚁,”他的朋友答道,“我们还在地面上。” 小学生英语笑话故事篇二 It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?” 圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦地问犯人：“你做了什么坏事啊？” “I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner. “我今年圣诞节购物早了些”犯人回答。

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

英语短笑话

I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " .鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.

最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

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见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAm后羿！」 b神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAm丘比特！」轮到c了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」英语笑话（五）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree. 老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话（六）一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，ToKoTA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，nIssAn！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，honDA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”

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六则适合小学生的英语双语笑话 Teacher： whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就能够回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher： who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy：Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4.

What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 5. Wife： "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband： "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife： "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband： "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife： "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband： "I'm just kidding!" 丈夫：开个玩笑! 6. The plural Form of "Child" Teacher： What is the plural of man, Tom?

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英语笑话带翻译短一些的篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话超简短的5个英文笑话1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

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小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！英语笑话某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：IamhongTaoLiu.外宾曰：我还是方片七呢！英语笑话某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo.某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree.老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor?某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话英语老师问一个学生，“howareyou是什么意思”学生想how是怎么，you是你，于是回答“怎么是你？”老师生气又问另一个同学：“howoldareyou?是什么意思？”这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你?”英语笑话小明在学习英语时，总爱把英语单词的读音用汉字标注出来。因此很产生了一个大笑话。老师在教学问价钱一课时，问某商品多少钱时用“howmuch”，小明赶紧在这个词组下面用汉字标出了他的读音“好吗嘛”。标完后还洋洋得意，觉得自己学会了。一次，小明到商店买东西，老板是个老外。小明想要一瓶可乐，说了半天老板听不懂，小明只好用手指到可乐，老板才把可乐拿给他。等到付钱时，小明马上想到自己学的英语知识，高兴的说“好吃嘛？”，老板摇摇头，小明挠挠头，心想是不是记错了，又说“嘛好吃？”。

英文小笑话(带中文翻译)

The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 I think that I'm a chicken Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 Who Is the Laziest? Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father.

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小学生英语双语笑话篇一 Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. 麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发， But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. 但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。 While Miles was at the barber's one day, 一天，正当麦尔斯理发时， the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him. 经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。 "Hello, Miles," the manager said. “你好，麦尔斯，”经理说。" I see that you are having your hair cut in office time." “我看到你在上班时间理发了。” "Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. “是的，先生。正是这样。”麦尔斯平静地承认了。 "You see, sir, it grows in office time." 可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。“ "Not all of it," said the manager at once. “不全都是吧，”经理立刻说，" Some of it grows in your own time." “有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。”

英语幽默小笑话六篇

英语幽默小笑话六篇 frog 青蛙 Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch." 老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。” 人们什么时候说话最少？ Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom? 老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么? Tom: Men. 汤姆:男人们。 Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? 老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢? Tom : Twins. 汤姆: 双胞胎。谁欠谁钱 A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation. 律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗？律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写道：咨询费250美元。I Have His Ear in My Pocket I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

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爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一）老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！英语笑话（二）某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四）话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」

十个简短的英语小笑话简短的英语小笑话带翻译阅读

十个简短的英语小笑话简短的英语小笑话带翻译阅读笑话，会让人开心、会让人忘记烦恼，笑话，也会拉近人与人之间的距离。小编精心收集了简短的英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习! 简短的英语小笑话带翻译篇1 A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she requested that he shave his beard. ”Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.” James replied, “My wife loves this beard, I couldn’t possibly do it, she would kill me!!” ”Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a *y little voice... ”Oh really, I can’t,” he replies...”My wife loves this beard!!” The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls intobed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here,my husband will be ho me soon!” 我丈夫马上就要回来了一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。 “噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。” 詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。” “噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。 “可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。” 在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”简短的英语小笑话带翻译篇2 A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, “Well, I’d like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me.” The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。简短的英语小笑话带翻译篇3 A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he couldreward him. ”The best way, sir,” said the deck hand, “is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I’dpulled you out, they’d chuck me in.” 最好的奖赏