小学英语小笑话
小学生英语笑话故事【三篇】
小学生英语笑话故事【三篇】导读：本文小学生英语笑话故事【三篇】，仅供参考，如果觉得很不错，欢迎点评和分享。
【篇1】It's sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. "Great! Oh, it's so heavy!" Miss Cat says happily.The fish is plucked out of the river. "Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!" She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.At the time Mr. Horse goes by and sees it. "What do you set it free?" He asks. "Because my pot is too small. I can't cook it," Miss Cat says.这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子，猫小姐在河边钓鱼。
突然鱼竿动了动。
“太棒了！哇，好重啊！”猫小姐高兴地喊着。
鱼被拉出来了。
“啊！一条大鱼！这条大鱼可真大呀！”她欢呼道。
但是她却把鱼放回河里，又继续钓鱼。
这时候马先生路过，看见这一切，就问她：“为什么你把鱼放了？” “因为我的锅太小。
我没办法烧这么大的鱼。
”猫小姐回答说。
【篇2】Three handsome male dogs are walking down the streetwhen they see a beautiful, enticing, female poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says "I love liver and cheese.""Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said, "How well can you do?" "Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever."My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a slywink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says...【篇3】A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks."Yep," the Lab replies.After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story? "The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eaves- dropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.""But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?""Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."。
少儿英文小笑话大全爆笑
少儿英文小笑话大全爆笑幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段。
下面是店铺精心收集的爆笑少儿英文小笑话，希望大家喜欢!爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇一A philosophy professor warned the classhe wasgoing to give them a test.一位哲学教授通知学生他要举行一场考试。
When the day came he entered theclassroom,wordlessly placed his chair on the tableand,turning to the blackboard, wrote, 考试那天，他走进教室，一言不发地把自己的椅子放到讲台上，然后转身在黑板上写道，"Prove to me this chair does not exist."“请向我证明这张椅子不存在。
”Most of the nervous studentbegan intently scribbling out long dissertations.大多数学生很紧张，都开始专心地写他们的论文。
But one member of the class wrote down just two words,and then handed his paper to theteacher.只有一个学生只写了两个单词就交卷了。
The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:"What chair?"当教授看到这个学生的答案时，不由微笑了，只见他写的是：“什么椅子啊?”爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇二A big burly man visited the pastor's homeand askedto see the minister's wife,a woman well known forher charitable impulses.一个高大魁梧的男人到牧师家拜访，他要求会见牧师的妻子，这是一个以有着慈悲心肠而闻名的妇女。
小学英语幽默笑话精选
小学英语幽默笑话精选“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来小学英语幽默笑话精选，欢迎大家阅读!小学英语幽默笑话精选1：Son: "Dad, give me a dime."儿子：“爸爸，给我一毛钱。
”Father: "Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?"父亲：“儿子，你不认为自己渐渐长大，不应该总是一毛一毛地要钱吗?”Son: "I guess you're right, dad. Give me a dollar, will you?"儿子：“爸爸，我想你说得对。
给我一块钱，好吗?”小学英语幽默笑话精选2：The librarian went over to a small, noisy boy. "Please be quiet!" she warned. "The people around you can't read!"图书管理员走到一个喧闹的小男孩身边，警告说：“请安静!你周围的人都不能读书了!”"They can't?" The boy asked curiously. "Then what are they doing here?"“不能读书?”小男孩好奇地问道。
“那他们在这里干什么?”小学英语幽默笑话精选3：betty:"Black hens are cleverer than white ones, aren't they?"贝蒂：“黑母鸡比白母鸡聪明，对吗?”Larry:"How do you know?"拉里：“你怎么知道?”Betty:"Well, the black hens can lay white eggs, but the white hens can't lay black ones."贝蒂：“嗯，因为黑母鸡能下白蛋，可白母鸡不能下黑蛋。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短 小学生20词英语笑话
20个英语笑话爆笑超短小学生20词英语笑话你太晚了youaretoolateonabusamandiscoveredapickpocket'shandthrustintohispocket."sorry,"hesaidtothepickpocket,"youaretoolate.mywifediditbeforeyou."在公共汽车上，有个人发现小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里o"对不起,"他对小偷说道，"你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就搞过同样的事情了。
”whatisyouroffense你做了什么坏事itwasthechristmasseasonandthejudgewasinamerrymoodasheaskedtheprisoner,“whatis youroffense?”圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦地问犯人：“你做了什么坏事啊?”“ididmychristmasshoppingearlythisyear,”criedtheprisoner.“我今年圣诞节购物早了些”犯人回答。
“there'snothingwrongwiththat,”saidthejudge.howearlywereyoudoingthisshopping?”“这么做没错啊，”法官说：“到底多早之前啊?““beforethestoreopened,”answeredtheprisoner.“商店开门之前“犯人答道。
muchworse那就更糟了policeman:whydidn'tyoushoutforhelpwhenyouwererobbedofyourwatch?警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢?man:lfihadopenedmymouth,they'dhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.thatwouldbemuchworse.男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
小学英语小笑话短小简单
小学英语小笑话短小简单笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。
透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。
店铺整理了短小简单的小学英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!短小简单的小学英语小笑话篇一Mr. White was watching TV when his eight一year一old son came into the room. He cried，"Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face.” Hearing that, Mr. White became very angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said，"You beat my son and I dare to beat yours.”怀特先生在房间里看电视，他八岁的儿子走进来哭着说:“爸爸，刚才爷爷打了我一耳光。
”怀特先生听了非常生气。
突然，他重重地扇了自己一耳光，说:“你打我儿子，我也敢打你儿子。
”短小简单的小学英语小笑话篇二Mike: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take off her mask at the party.麦克:一次舞会上，当大家要求我姑姑拿掉她的面具时，她非常尴尬。
Mary: Why was that?玛丽:为什么会那样呢?Mike: She wasn't wearing one.麦克:她根本就没有带面具。
短小简单的小学英语小笑话篇三Mother; Why were you kept after school today, Johnny?妈妈:约翰尼，你今天放学以后为什么被留下了?Johnny: Teacher told us to write an essay on "The Result of Laziness", and I fumed in a blank sheet of paper.约翰尼:老师叫我们写一篇题为“徽惰的结果”的作文，我交了一张白卷。
【小学的简单的英语笑话】最简单的英语笑话
【小学的简单的英语笑话】最简单的英语笑话幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段,探索幽默与笑话的区别,认为有意与无意、含蓄与直白、复杂与简单、创新与故旧是区分幽默与笑话的重要标准。
下面是本文库带来的小学的简单的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!小学的简单的英语笑话篇一顾全面子Once there was a scholar who was very poor，but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening，a thief broke into the scholar’s house，but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said，”What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars＂Hearing this，the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head，and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him，”You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face，eh?＂从前有个读书人家里很穷，却很爱面子。
一天晚上，小偷到他家来行窃，却没有东西值得一偷，就说:＂晦气，我算碰到真正的穷鬼了!＂读书人听见了，就从床头摸出仅有的几文钱，追上去拦住小偷，轻轻地说:＂你来得真不巧。
适合小学生的英语笑话大全
适合小学生的英语笑话大全在开《论语》玩笑的一些笑话背后,反映出了许多当时的社会问题。
下面是店铺带来的适合小学生的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!适合小学生的英语笑话大全(一)我只把扣眼儿给缝上了Husband: Did you sew the button on my shirt, darling?丈夫：你给我把扣子缝好了吗，亲爱的?Wife: No, dear. I couldn't find the button, so I just sewed up the buttonhole.妻子：没有，亲爱的。
我找不到扣子，所以我只把扣眼儿给缝上了。
(二)婚姻的成本 Cost of marriageA little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"一个小男孩问他的父亲，“爸爸，要花多少钱才能结婚呢?”And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."“我也不知道，我现在还在交钱。
”父亲回答。
适合小学生的英语笑话欣赏(一)你太晚了 You Are T oo LateOn the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。
”(二)我根本就看不见 I cannot see it at allAfter supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point themother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if thekitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is sodark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
关于小学的英语笑话大全
关于小学的英语笑话大全笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
本文是关于小学的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!关于小学的英语笑话篇一“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。
”“20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。
”“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。
”关于小学的英语笑话篇二Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."它们是从美国直接带来的一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
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小学英语小笑话1)TOM'S EXCUSETeacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-GoSlow".汤姆的借口老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。
"DID YOUR DAD...小学英语小笑话2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.小学英语小笑话4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."小学英语小笑话5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”一盒小火柴妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。
汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”“是的，妈妈。
”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。
”小学英语小笑话6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!开车父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
小学英语小笑话7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”“She is the one who sells the candy.”好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。
”他回答说。
“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。
”小学英语小笑话8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”他的耳朵在我的衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口。
”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。
”小学英语小笑话9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
小学英语小笑话10)He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
”Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！A Girl's NameWhen our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late（已故的）father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine（男性的） .Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.女孩的名字女儿出生时，我们给她取名叫迈尔斯，和我深爱的也已过世的父亲同一个名字，不过家人提醒这个名字太男性化了。
几年以后，我觉得迈尔斯已经长大，能够懂事了。
我对她解释说：你的名字很特别。
我给你取了一个和我爸爸一样的名字，因为我非常爱他。
我相信他会为你而深感自豪的。
迈尔斯很仔细地想了一下，然后说道：这些我都懂，妈妈。
可是我不知道外公为什么会有一个女孩子的名字。
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?Nothing, Mum, answered the son proudly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.母亲问她年幼的儿子：宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么？儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。