老友记中英对照1003
Frinds老友记1-10季中英文对照完整版《The One Where No-one's Ready》
302 The One Where No-one's Ready[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet] Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)Chandler: Taste it.Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.Ross: (entering) Hey!Chandler: Hey, mister tux!Ross: Why aren't you guys dressed?Joey: We have a half hour.Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed. Ross: Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now. Chandler and Joey: Okay. (they don't move)Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.Ross: Really.Rachel: Ooooh! Wow!! Oh, hi.Ross: Hi.Rachel: How come you didn't come over earlier?Ross: 'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man.Joey: Hey, Ross, want some cider?Ross:No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.Rachel: Yeah, I just have to get dressed.Ross: Yay! And that takes what? Just six or seven minutes.Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.Joey: Glass of fat?Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]Joey: What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech?Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?Joey: Am I in it?Ross:Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.Phoebe: (entering) Hello.Ross: Hey!Joey: Whoa!Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!Phoebe: Thank you! I know, though.Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are 302 没人准备好好，他们有水，柳橙汁这个看起来像苹果汁喝喝看吧对，这是一杯油我喝了油我知道，两分钟前我才喝过的穿燕尾服的先生你怎么还没换衣服?还有半小时那是四分钟前的事我们必须在七点四十出门放心，我们会准备好的我们只要两分钟就着装完毕若你现在就换好，我会高兴点好好看看你，多性感啊真的吗?你怎么不早点过来?因为我真是笨得要命罗斯，要不要来点苹果汁?不要你快准备好了吧妆化好了，头发梳好了我只要换衣服就好了大概只要6或7分钟吧是啊，只要我决定好要穿什么要不要喝点油?怎么了?你是不是因为要演讲而紧张? 不是你要不要听听看?里面有提到我吗?等我感谢完所有捐钱给博物馆的人我就唱一首歌歌颂乔伊的伟大嗨，你看起来真棒谢谢你虽然我已经知道了看到没?这个人准备好，可以出发了菲比，你…my star.Phoebe: Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny.Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.Joey: What?Chandler: You're in my seat.Joey: How is this your seat?Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.Joey: But then you left.Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.Joey:Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom) . Soo...Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So.. Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!Monica: (entering) Hi.All: Hey.Monica: Ooh, Phoebe, you look great!Phoebe: All right all ready.Monica: (to Ross) Ooh, are you gonna do magic?Ross: That's, that's funny. Change!Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.Ross: Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.Phoebe: We could not, would not want to wait.Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)Rachel:(entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.Monica: Rach, did you check the machine?Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.Joey: All right! You can have the chair.Chandler: Really!Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (holds up crossed fingers)Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky? 你真是我的偶像啊那你就是我的幸运铜板好吧，我做了心理测验结果是我认为男人比事业重要起来什么?你坐在我的位子上为何这是你的位子?因为我刚才坐在这里但是你离开了拜托，我又不是去多远的地方我是去厕所你明知道我会回来的那有什么大不了的去坐别的地方嘛真正大不了的就是我是最后坐在这里的人所以这是我的位子事实上，你最后坐的地方就是那里，所以…各位，你们知道嘛?那个一点都不重要你们俩都必须在我脑血管爆掉前换好衣服我只要再做一件事这真的没什么大不了起来!菲比，你看起来好美好啦，早知道了你要变魔术吗?真好笑，给我换衣服去慢点，我才刚进门我才不管晚会八点开始，我们不能迟到他不能等，也不愿意等我们的桌子在前方我老板也会在那儿若晚会开始后我们才进场大家都看得到有人喝过我这一杯油吗?这像是古生物学家的女友会穿的衣服吗? 我不知道你大概是首开先例吧瑞秋，你听答录机留言了吗?没有等等，这件衣服会Ross: (on machine) "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!" Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) What?!Ross: Nevermind.Richard: (on machine) "Monica, it's Richard. Call me."Monica: Is-is-is that message old or new? (yelling) Old or new?! Old or new?! Ross: It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep? Monica:What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?Chandler: Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old.Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?Monica: Huh?Ross:I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress) Phoebe: Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!Chandler and Joey: Sorry Phoebe.Joey: I'm so sorry.Phoebe: What am I gonna do?Ross:No, no, don't, don't, rub it! Don't! (clapping) What gets out hummus?! What gets out hummus?!Phoebe: Monica, Monica, you know what gets out hummus.Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?Phoebe: Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that.Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.Monica: So, should I call him back?The Guys: Noo! (Monica starts to go back into her room and stops) NO! Chandler:All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.Chandler: All right! (jumps up)Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?Phoebe: Hummus. I got the hummus.Rachel: Ooooh! Honey, well we'll find you something. Do you wanna wear my 显得我小腿很粗，算了乔伊，我今天写了一首歌歌名叫做“起来”好啦，椅子给你啦真的?天啊，你看看这个是我，我正要过去若你播出这则留言时我已经到了呢?是不是很诡异?瑞秋，你在不在?是我，快接起来瑞秋…?干嘛?没事摩妮卡，我是理查打电话给我这则留言是新的还是旧的?新的还是旧的…?绝对是旧的你没听到两声哔吗?若是新的怎么办?我们说好不联络的可能有重要的事我该不该回电话?甜心，你已经打过了这是旧的留言是的你听当卡萝与我分手时我也经历一样的事你知道我怎么做吗?我去换好衣服快快快这就对了…你知道吗?别起来了就坐在那里吧只希望你别介意我的手放在这里没碰到，不能生气我的天啊你们这些坏孩子我该怎么办?别乱抹有什么可以去除豆泥?摩妮卡!black jacket?Phoebe: That won't go with this dress though.Rachel: No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.Ross: No, no, no, no, no, no, not out of that, not out of clothes.Rachel: Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?Monica: I called him.All: Nooo.Monica: Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?Phoebe:Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place.Monica: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.Joey: Monica, how are you gonna do that?Monica: I know the code to his answering machine.Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)Richard: (on machine) "Hi, this is Richard. Please, leave a message at the tone." Machine: "You have two new messages."Joey: Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'Monica:(on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy. Woman's Voice: (on machine) Hola, it's me, yesterday was really fun. Call me about this weekend, okay.Joey: Now she sounded breezy.Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier]Monica: He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone.Phoebe: Monica, you don't know that.Monica: Well, who's voice was that?Chandler: Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's. Monica: Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle? Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab. Monica: It was Michelle. It was definitely Michelle.Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!Ross: You don't, you don't know what your wearing? 有什么可以去除豆泥?如果那个留言是新的他到底打来说什么?好，谢谢，我会试试看的说不定他打来说你执迷不悟而且太疯狂我该不该回电话给他?不！很好,我们一起坐在椅子上随便啊我好舒服啊我也是事实上，我可能有点太舒服了好，我们有19分钟钱德，我要你去换衣服等你回来后，乔伊去换衣服他就会把椅子空出来好好的好，我要走了等我回来后这里就是椅子王国，而我是…坐在椅子上的那个人!这是不是有点太…菲比，怎么回事?我沾到豆泥了甜心，我们会找出衣服给你，你要不要穿我的黑外套?这样跟洋装就不能搭配了没错来吧我们把衣服换掉不…可别换掉千万别把衣服脱掉，菲比可以借你的绿洋装穿吗?我打给他了对，我进入他的答录机然后我留言了不过没关系…因为那是个随兴、轻松的留言很轻松天啊若听起来并不轻松该怎么办?怎么可能不轻松?不会，这里是个轻松的地方我知道了，我播出我的留言Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.Ross:Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.Chandler:All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave) Chandler: What are you doing?Joey:You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.Ross: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days. Phoebe: Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! (she's wearing another dress on a hanger around her neck)Rachel: Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight.Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!Ross: Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing? Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you. Chandler: We used them as pillows when we went camping.Ross: What?Chandler: (shyly) The sheep.Ross: Hey, what you do on your own time...Joey: (entering) Where's my underwear?!Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear? Chandler: He took my essence!Ross:Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?Joey: Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?Joey:It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.Chandler:Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you. Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?Joey: Hey, opposite, is opposite! (leaves)Chandler: He's got nothing!Phoebe:(entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) 你们再告诉我是否轻松你怎么可能那样做?我知道他答录机的密码好，摩妮卡我不认为现在应该…好，你在拨号了…我是理查请在哔声后留言你有两个新讯息真是个好工作“你有两个新讯息”“请把派递给我”我是摩妮卡我只是想确定一下我有一通留言不知道是新的还是旧的所以，我只是问问看告诉我吧或者不告诉我，都可以我很轻松你不能说“我很轻松”这样就不轻松了嘛你好啊，是我打电话给我谈谈周末的计划，好吗? 看，她听起来就很轻松他开始约会了我真不敢相信他开始约会-你又不知道那个是谁，那么那是谁的声音说不定是他妹妹的说不定是他女儿的蜜雪儿，一定是了!听起来像蜜雪儿吗?太好了，开始下雨了这样计程车又更难叫了是蜜雪儿绝对是蜜雪儿去试穿摩妮卡的绿洋装不适合就穿我的灰色丝质洋装那我要穿那件?你还不知道自己要穿什么?今晚是你的大日子我只是希望自己好看一点是啊，而我们在12分钟内必须出门来吧，我帮你选衣服你看到了，我全换好了Okay, I'm ready.Ross and Chandler: Oh, aaaah!Phoebe: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'Chandler: What are you supporting?Phoebe: Duh!! Christmas!Ross:Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!Rachel:(entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple?Ross: Just, just, just pick one!Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?Rachel: Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants?Ross:Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.Rachel: But I...Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go. Rachel: All right.Ross: Thank you!Monica: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.Ross: It was, it was her voice.Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.Michelle: Hola! Hello. Hello?Monica: Okay. That was her right?Phoebe: Definitely.Monica: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.Ross: Yay!(phone rings)Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. 而我呢，也发现你什么都还没换所以，套小熊维尼作者的话“离开我的椅子，驴蛋!”好吧你在干什么?你叫我离开椅子啊你又没说不能带走椅垫但椅垫是椅子的精华！没错，我要带走精华他会回来的这里什么人也没有对不起，我觉得这样很美这是万圣节服装除非你要我穿的像小牧羊女一样? 若没有那只可充气的羊我还真认不出来是啊，对了，钱德我最近想要一只回来瑞秋，很好啊这件是不是很适合我?太棒了!但是不适合今晚当然不适合今晚不适合今晚，那你穿它干嘛！对不起，不是故意的。
(完整word版)《老友记中英对照原创总结》,推荐文档
【学地道英语必备资料】《老友记》中英对照原创总结1、I won’t let her go without a fight! 我不会轻易放过她的2、It could happen to anyone./ It happens to anybody./ That happens. 谁都可能会遇到这种情况3、I’m a laundry virgin.我从来没去洗衣房洗过衣服（注意virgin “处女”的用法，体会老美说话之鲜活）4、I hear you. 我知道你要说什么。
/ 我懂你的意思了5、Nothing to see here!这里没什么好看的/看什么看！6、Hello? Were we at the same table? 有没有搞错？（注意hello 的用法，用疑问语气表示“有没有搞错？”）7、You are so sweet/ that’s so sweet. 你真好。
8、I think it works for me. （work为口语中极其重要的小词）9、Rachel, you are out of my league（等级，范畴）. 你跟我不是同一类人10、Y ou are so cute. 你真好/真可爱11、Given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy. （given表示考虑到的意思；非常简洁好用）12、Let’s get the exam rolling. 现在开始考试了( get……rolling 的用法)13、Why don’t we give this a try?我们为何不试一下呢14、Bravo on the hot nanny!为那个性感的保姆喝彩！/赞一下那个性感的保姆！（重点是brave on sth/sb这个句型，表示为……喝彩/赞叹的意思）15、My way or the highway.不听我的就滚蛋！（很漂亮的习语，压后韵）16、I planed to go there but something just came up.我本想去那的，但突然有点事情（注意something just came up这个搭配）17、That’s not the point.这不是关键/问题所在18、(If) he shows up, we stick with him. 他一出现，我们就跟着他走（着重比较书面英语和标准的口语，表条件的if可以省略）1 9、My life flashes before my eyes. 我的过往在我眼前浮现20、I have no idea what you have said 不知道你在说什么（I don’t have the slightest idea……）“我不知道”不要总说I don’t know，太土了，可以说I have no idea或者I don’t have a clue……21、Just follow my lead. 听我指挥好了22、Good for you！你真不错/好！（老友记中极其常见的赞扬、表扬句型）23、Let me put it this way, we’re having sex whether you’re here or not. （主要是前半句中put的用法，这里put等于say；极其标准的口语说法）24、The more I worried about it, the more I couldn’t slee p.（the more……the more……越什么……就什么……；多学点这样的句型举一反三不论对口语还是写作都有帮助）25、We’re more than happy to give you recommendations.（more han happy等于非常高兴）26、Rachel, Can you pass me the TV guide? 能把电视报递给我吗?(非常实用的口语句型，叫别人递东西可以引用)27、Not that it’s your business, but we did g o out. （倒不是……不过……典型的绕弯子式美国思维模式）28、We have to cut our trip short! 我们不得不中断旅行.（cut sth short打断话语；中断某事；）29、This party stinks/ sucks! （sth sucks意思是什么事情很糟糕）30、Y ou do the math.你自己来算一下31、I’m with you 我同意你的观点32、I was/will be there for you.我支持（过）你！（还记得老友记主题曲最后一句吗）33、I’m all yours！我全听你的34、I’ll take care of it. 我会搞定的35、I would like to propose a toast.（英美电影宴会婚礼场景经典句型；提议为什么事情举杯祝福时用：）《老友记》主题歌试听下载及歌词翻译>>36、Lucky me! 我真走运/幸运！（诺丁山里面出现）37、Storage rooms give me creeps. 储藏室让我全身冒鸡皮疙瘩。
老友记台词(中英文对照)
<老友记>台词312 The One With All The Jealousy[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.] Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?Chandler: Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday? Ross: Why?Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.Ross: Oh God. Y'know, botanists are such geeks.Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)Phoebe: (entering, with about 20 purses hanging around her neck) Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses!Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs. Phoebe: Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles.Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.Rachel: Oh.Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again? Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich? Why don't you get a magician?! Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right. Opening Credits[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.] Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do? Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause)Don't cry outloud.Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical? Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.Joey: What?Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.Joey: Who?Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.Joey: The what?Chandler: The abridgment.Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?[Scene: Rachel's office, Mark is training Rachel.]Mark: ...and the style number, and the invoice number, and the shipping date. Good. Any questions so far?Rachel: Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?Mark: Twenty percent.Rachel: Oh!! I love this job! (her phone rings) Wow! My first call.Mark: Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you? Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?Mark: And who may I say is calling?Ross: This is Ross?Mark: Ross of.....Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.Mark: Oh hi. It's, it's Mark.Ross: Oh hey, hey Mark.Mark: Hey, hold on a second.Ross: Okay.Rachel: Hi honey!Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?Rachel: Oh, he's just goofing around.Ross: Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his own office?Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants. Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?Rachel: Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do?Ross: What?Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)Rachel: Ow! Ross!!Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.] Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.Monica: Please, I'm not going for anything.Jeannine: Well, if you don't, I will.Monica: Would you please go?Jeannine: Night Mon. Night Julio.Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.(Monica starts wiping down the stools, as Julio follows along behind her replacing the napkin holders.)Monica: Look Julio, someone left their book here.Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?Julio: I thought I would, but the translation's no good.Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')Julio: Actually I ah, I am a poet.Monica: Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about? Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it. [Scene: Joey's audition.]Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two.......... Director: Lovely, just lovely.Joey: Really? Thanks.Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday. Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either. Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.(phone rings)Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?Monica: (entering) Hi!Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be? Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty...Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good. Monica: Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?Phoebe: Oh yeah.Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)Joey: Whoa, I'm not done.Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys. Chandler: Bye-bye.(Monica leaves)Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!Chandler: What, what, what?!Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.Joey: Done.[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.] Mark: (reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file? Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)Mark: Wh-what's that?Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?Rachel: Yes.Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three... Quartet: (singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss.The Bass Barber: Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah.Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.Quartet: Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross..... Ross!Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!Rachel: All right Ross!! I get it!!Ross: I mean my God...Rachel: You're hurt!Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory.I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk! Ross: I would never do that!Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]Joey: Mark's a genius!Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.Ross: What am I going to do?Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.Ross: I don't know you guys.Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like,(sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?[Scene: Rachel's office.]Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December. Mark: (turning around) And wait, I've got something for you. (kisses her) Woman: Mark!!Mark: It's okay, Rachel knows.Woman: Yeah, but even soo.(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee) (Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!Mark: What is going on?Ross: What's going on?! (throws the love bug at him) That's what's going on!! Rachel: (now standing behind Ross) Ross!(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.Joey: What?!Director: Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, (very quickly, Joey watches stunned) up, pas de bouree, pas de bouree, big turn here, grand sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands!Joey: It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands.Director: Have fun.Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]Phoebe: (entering) Hey!Monica: Hey.Phoebe: What are you wrapping?Monica: Oh-ho, look what I got Julio.Phoebe: Yeah, it's a vase.Monica: Yeah, just like the one in the poem.Phoebe: Well not exactly like the one in the poem.Monica: What do you mean?Phoebe: Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her) [Scene: The Moondance Diner.]Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?Julio: What?Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa.Monica: You don't even know me...Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.Monica: What?Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.Monica: I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe...Julio: No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now? Monica: (sarcastically) Oh yeah.[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.] Director: All right, let's do it!(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)Director: No, no, no. What was that?Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.Director: Well, people!Joey: People, people, people.Director: Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?Rachel: Right.Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)Ross: (entering) Hi.Rachel: Hello.Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen. Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.Rachel: A big idiot.Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now? Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.Gunther: Let it be me! Let it be me!Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?Rachel: Where ya going?Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon. Rachel: Ohh, with who?Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!Ross: Yeah.Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?Rachel: Sure, is she married?Ross: Ahh, no.Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)Ross: Are you jealous?Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?Ross: You are totally jealous.Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...Ross: Honey, I love you too.Rachel: Ugh. Wait, wait, wait.Ross: What?(She runs over and gives him a very passionate kiss.)Ross: Huh.Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper. Closing Credits[Scene: The Moondance Diner.]Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?Julio: (to him) I am Julio.(The rest of barbershop quartet enters, and joins him.)Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner. Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.Bass Singer: No one likes a buttmunch.Quartet: And your also bad in bedd-edd-edd!.(Monica waves at Julio.)End312 嫉妒你们都觉得这双鞋很丑吗?对别担心，没有人会注意的只要你穿着那件浴巾装你跟他说吧这是她履新职的第一天你不该一早就开她玩笑好吧，我可以等到晚上再说你星期五有节目吗?干嘛?你得来参加我的怪堂哥艾勃特的告别单身派对你知道，他是植物学家老天植物学家都神神经经的那是恐龙领带吗?早安瑞秋，我拿皮包来了找钥匙就要找老半天吧谢谢，菲比不客气，拜托你用这个乌龟包包不，乌龟让我害怕今天尤其不是时候亲爱的，别紧张，没问题的我过来跟你一起吃午饭吧?谢了，但马克要带我去吃饭马克?就是那个帮你找工作的马克? 对，算是祝我工作顺利那是午餐盒吗?不，是皮包里面还有个热水瓶你星期五能来吗?什么?我想可以吧可是你为什么要请我呢?显然艾勃特没有朋友他对告别单身派对充满期待我想他是为了看脱衣舞娘才结婚的请脱衣舞娘参加告别单身派对你们真是老套为什么不请魔术师?如果魔术师可以用臀部给我开啤酒，那就行她要跟她吃午饭?跟他吃午饭?你该看看她被录取时是怎么拥抱他的而且他相貌堂堂我该怎么办?放在心里学着隐藏你的感情不要大呼小叫猜猜谁得到了百老汇音乐剧的试演机会?我本来要说是你不过这个答案好像太容易了就是我这是音乐剧版的“双城记”我想我要唱“纽约，纽约”和“我把心留在旧金山”乔伊，我想轮不到你来挑城市什么?这是狄更斯先生的权利谁?我拿克里夫手集给你什么?简易文学读本什么?型号发货号码…和出货日期很好，有问题吗?我们有多少折扣?八折我爱死这份工作了我的第一通电话来，让我代劳瑞秋葛林，需要我效劳吗? 嗨，瑞秋在吗?请问是哪一位?我是罗斯哪位罗斯?“罗斯和瑞秋”的罗斯嗨，我是马克嗨，马克嗨等一下好嗨，亲爱的马克怎么会替你接电话?他只是在瞎混罢了有意思他干嘛不在自己办公室瞎混?这里就是他办公室，我说过我们是乔安娜的两个助理乔安娜为什么需要两个助理? 她很懒吗?我的天，我做了什么?我刚把三千副胸罩送到人事部去了我要挂电话了马克，我需要你好，再见对不起，甜心，我只是要…我只是要打下一个电话我30秒钟换好衣服就是让你跟他独处你最好赶快展开攻势我不要展开什么攻势你不要的话，我要拜托你走吧?晚安，摩妮卡晚安，胡利欧胡利欧，有人把书忘在这里了老实说，那是我的书你在看什么书?波特莱尔的“恶之花”你看过没有?我看过没有?没有，你喜欢吗?我本来以为我会喜欢不过翻译得不好你是诗人，居然不懂其实我……我是诗人那你一定懂了你都写些什么?写一些让我感动的事物婆娑树影童稚笑容或这片嘴唇我的？这里?我可以为这片嘴唇写一部史诗要怎么写?虽然没有押韵…不过我喜欢你们得扒一、两个钱包孩子们……你得扒一、两个…钱包…真好太好了真的?谢谢乔伊，我们非常希望星期六再看到你太好了我会来的别忘了带你的爵士舞鞋来参加舞蹈试演我的经纪人说这个角色不必跳舞所有的角色都要跳一点舞但以你的舞蹈背景小意思罢了追随妥拉萨普学习三年现代舞?在美国芭蕾舞团待了五年?谁的履历表不灌水?我也没有演过Z00M你到底会不会跳舞?我会跳舞，你知道…这是干什么?现在看起来很蠢因为没有放音乐我得去接电话嗨听我说，我需要个脱衣舞娘我听说你是跳脱衣舞的我问你，你多收一百块可以额外提供什么服务?那我要提供葡萄吗?嗨你昨晚跟胡利欧约会的情况怎么样，小姐?简直不可思议，他性感又聪明这让他显得更性感我得告诉你昨晚我们亲热的时候?，突然之间，他停下来写诗…少来了，我就算被陨石打中也停不下来我们请了脱衣舞娘“水晶吊灯小姐”给小孩取这种名字长大了还能做什么?但他忘了把这首诗带走我看不懂诗不过我觉得这是一首好诗你们看看“空花瓶”半透明的美不要念出来写得很好对，我也觉得，菲比?太棒了我真高兴你们都喜欢我得去上班了看完再还给我回头见再见我的天…可怜的摩妮卡怎么了?…他在跟她亲热的时候写这首诗我的花瓶如此美丽内里空无一物如今我伸手触摸你看似更加空洞她觉得摩妮卡很空洞她是个空花瓶你真的觉得他是这个意思? 一点都没错老天，她看起来好幸福看完了你有圣罗兰的档案吗?当然有，就在那是什么?是罗斯送的，爱的金龟他想向全世界宣告你已经名花有主了他不是这个意思他只是非常浪漫罢了对不起，你是瑞秋格林吗?1 2 3恭喜你履新职的第一周要不了多久你就会当老板了你知道到时候谁会支持你就是你唯一的男朋友有男朋友真好你忠心、深情的男友，罗斯我伤心，我真的很伤心…你居然以为我送那些东西不是出于对你的爱伤心好，我懂了，你很伤心男人不能请理发店四重唱，到女朋友的办公室吗?拜托，罗斯这实在太明显了你好像在划定地盘你干脆到办公室来在我的桌子周围撒尿好了我绝对不会这么做听我说，我知道这是怎么回事马克都跟我解释过了他说你们男人就是这样如果马克这么说那马克就是白痴马克是个天才为什么?怎么说?他为什么会是天才?你还看不出来吗?他没有勾引她反而当了她的手帕交现在她就会跑去跟他抱怨你我该怎么办?何不送她一个音乐金龟?不，你已经送过了你得亲自过去偶尔让她惊喜一下我不知道很好，不要轻举妄动坐着跟我们聊天这时候她正在跟她谈你他对她体贴入微她在想“也许他就是我的伴侣他这么了解我”你还没搞清楚状况她就跟他在一起了你就会说“老天”他会说“太棒了”我们都会说“傻瓜”很快你就会说…“嗨”还有“我不能去瑞秋和马克可能在那里”我们会说“忘了吧已经四年了”他说得活灵活现，不是吗?这是雪丽席格12月的设计等等，我有东西要给你没关系，瑞秋知道对，但就算是这样……我控制不了，我为你疯狂你真会讲话我知道我老是做不得体的事但是这真的好难看着你走来走去我好想把你抱在怀里来，这里没有人，吻我吧好了，够了，放开她怎么回事?怎么回事?我告诉你这是怎么回事我在你们公司找领带找了20分钟要怎么样才有人来服务我?嗨，瑞秋乔伊特里班尼现在出了问题舞蹈领队打电话来他感情出现危机不能离开长岛这表示试演取消了吗?既然你的经验丰富我希望你来带舞者动作什么?好啦，很简单嘛你知道，就是手…头……抬起来…不要挤在一起…大旋转…腿转圈…滑过来，一步，再一步…爵士手势这么说是踏步舞步和爵士手势跳得高兴点再见你在包什么?看我送胡利欧什么?是个花瓶就像他那首诗不完全跟那首诗一样此话怎讲?记得你说过你不会看诗吗?这么说我只是个空洞的花瓶?什么?好，我不像你那样常看名著我也不写表里不一的怪诗我喜欢愚蠢的东西就像我的时人杂志来的时候…还有“抓住一切”的型录来的时候…但这并不表示我是空洞的！我关心我的家人和朋友你没有权利批判我你根本不了解我这首诗讲的不是你什么?“空花瓶”讲的不是你我亲爱的宝贝…你居然这么想，我好难过对不起，这…我朋友菲比说…这是讲所有的女人应该是说…全美国的女人释怀了没有?好，来吧那是什么玩意儿?他们最多只能跳到这个程度各位……各位……我们再试一次这次大家好好看着乔伊教他们怎么跳弹琴，麦克“中央咖啡厅”你昨晚参加告别单身派对玩得开心吗?看我拿到什么?看，她穿着衣服，对吗?然后按一下，她裸体了！然后再按一下她又穿上衣服了她是个做生意的女人走在大街上她在逛橱窗，哦，她裸体了！我要跟这只笔独处一阵子对不起，我是个白痴大白痴大白痴你必须了解…我很难接受马克这件事…为什么?我们在一起快一年了我跟卡洛在一起八年了而我失去了她现在，如果有这个可能我想我爱你此爱她更深所以我很难相信我不会…别人不会把你夺走…让我夺走她吧…亲爱的，你的话好窝心我只是觉得如果两个人彼此相爱彼此信任，像我们这样就没有理由嫉妒我得走了再见，钱德这枝笔有点无聊了可以帮我拿几本色情杂志吗? 你要去哪里?我得去接班带他跟别人出去玩跟谁?跟我昨晚在派对上认识的女人昨晚派对的女人?，脱衣舞娘?你跟脱衣舞娘一起出去玩?老天，我得生个孩子才行她跳玩脱衣舞之后我们开始聊天她有个和班年龄相仿的儿子我们要带孩子去上健保园可以吗?当然可以，她结婚没有?你嫉妒吗?我不懂她干嘛跟你出去玩她没有其他当妈妈的脱衣舞娘朋友吗?你嫉妒得要命我才没有嫉妒这是因为…人们对脱衣舞娘…都有某种…看法，你知道…我也爱你再见等等……干嘛?这个吻可以让他回味好几个小时否则，你刚煽起他的火来反而便宜了脱衣舞娘胡利欧在这里吗?我就是胡利欧你非常自以为是以为自己好得不得了你的诗都没出版你在餐厅工作你不是上帝对女人的恩赐这只是你自以为是你只是个马屁精没人喜欢马屁精你的床上工夫也很烂。
老友记中英103
《老友记》中英文对照剧本第一季103 The One With the Thumb飞来横财[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!嗨,各位!All: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!嘿, 菲比! 嗨!Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?嘿. 哦,哦,你的约会怎么样?Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'不是很好,他送我到地铁,然后说:"我们应该再来一次!"All: Ohh. Ouch.哦,喔.Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?怎么啦?他说要再来一次?那不是很好吗?Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.不，他说我们应该再来一次，代表你将无法再见到裸体的我Rachel: Since when?什么时候这样子的?Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.一直都是这样，这是约会用语。
就像...”问题不是出在你”代表”就是你”Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating eather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.”你真好”代表”我要和皮革族的酒徒约会，然后向你抱怨。
Frinds老友记1-10季中英文对照完整版《The One With Joey's Big Break》
Joey:All right! Thanks Pheebs!
Chandler:Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Ross:All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
Phoebe:Ohh, give him a kiss for me!
Ross:All right, bye!
Monica: Bye!
Phoebe: Bye!
Ross:Later! (Exits.)
Joey:Oh umm, not go.
Chandler:All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Monica:Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
Joey:(entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Chandler:You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing! What's the movie about?!
《老友记》第一季剧本全集【双语】【中英对照】
没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！ 少来了，你和那个人一起出去！拜托，和你 交往的男人一定有问题！ 打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。他驼背？既驼背又 带假发？ 慢着，他吃粉笔吗？
我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。 各位别急，这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃 晚餐，而且不做爱。 听起来好像是说我的约会。
记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然 发现自己全身赤裸。 我做过那样的梦。 我低头一看，看见有一支电话……在那儿。 而不是……？ 没错。 我没做过那样的梦,没有。
101 The One Where Monica Gets ut 101 试播 Version)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.] Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! Joey: Come on, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him! Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? (They all stare, bemused.) Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh! Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. [Time Lapse] Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there. Joey: Instead of...? Chandler: That's right. Joey: Never had that dream. Phoebe: No. Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?! Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! [Time Lapse, Ross has entered.] Ross: (mortified) Hi. Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Chandler: Cookie? Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh. Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. Ross: Thanks. Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.) Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Phoebe: Fine! Be murky! Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
老友记中英对照1001
1001 The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss [Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.]Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on. You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)噢，你用乒乓球打败迈克真的太帅了。
你想要……那个吗？Chandler: You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired. 呃，我是想，不过我有点累了Monica: I'll put a pillowcase over my head.我会用枕套把头包住的。
Chandler: You're on! 那来吧！(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)Phoebe: Hey!Monica: What's up? 有事吗？Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...迈克在冲凉，顺便说一下，我们还没有做那个... 我想去吃点东西，所以如果你们也想……(there's a door slamming in Ross's room, and some indistinct murmuring)Ross: ... finally...Phoebe: Is that Ross? 那是罗斯吗？Monica: Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls.是啊，那面破墙什么声音都包不住。
Frinds老友记1-10季中英文对照完整版《The One With Rachel’s Assistant》
Hilda:That’s right.
Rachel:Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Monica:(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, it’s your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Chandler:It’s your mommy. It’s your mommy.
Ross:Ohhhh…
Rachel:That’s nice.
Joey:Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.
Rachel:Okay, so anyway I’m sittin’ in my office and guess who walks in.
Joey:I’m gonna be on two TV shows!
Monica and Phoebe:Oh, that’s great!!
Rachel: Joey!
Joey:Oh, you weren’t finished?
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1003 The One With Ross's Tan[Joey and Rachel's apartment]Chandler: So, you and Rachel tonight, huh?今晚和瑞秋有约，呃？Joey: Yeah. It's actually our first official date我们第一次正式约会。
Chandler: Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous?哇！看样子今晚有事发生！你紧张吗？Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at. 不，不。
这是我最擅长的。
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.即使是恐惧和自我厌恶情绪也不能产生影响？Joey: (pause) It's OK! 对！Chandler: How can you be so confident?你怎么能这么有信心？Joey: Well, I... I know exactly what I'm gonna do! 呃，我……因为我明确地知道我要做什么！Chandler: Really? Like you have a routine?真的？就像例行公事？Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different. You have to appreciate their uniqueness.- 不不不。
知道吗，女人个个都不同。
你要欣赏到她们的特性。
Chandler: Really?Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.- 不，我会做六件事！首先，我要深情地望着她的眼睛,然后，我会吻她。
随后我用手轻轻地擦过她的大腿Chandler: You mean like this? (he starts touching his thigh in a funny and awkard way)你是说这样？Joey: NO! Not like that, no no. No, like this. (He starts lightly grazing Chandler's thigh)不！不是像那样，不不。
是像这样Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)噢，我知道你的意思了，真的感觉很棒。
Joey: More foosball? 再来一局桌上足球？Chandler: ...and beer!!还有啤酒！！OPENING CREDITS[Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]Monica: (entering) Hey!Ross and Chandler: Hey!Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)嗨，亲爱的！Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!Chandler: Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs!嘿！不许看我老婆的腿！不不！不许看你妹妹的腿！Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan? 对不起，只是……你怎么晒得皮肤？Chandler:She went on one of those spray-on tan places.她去了一个那种喷雾晒肤俱乐部Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan?我是说的喷雾晒肤俱乐部?Monica: Chandler gets pedicures! 钱德去美甲了！Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?什么？你做了美甲？你用了那种脚趾隔离器？Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!我还是不能相信那是喷雾晒肤的结果……我是说，这看起来不错, 我也想做一次！Chandler: Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off.当然，然后你应该穿上超短裙去街上秀给别人看。
Ross: So, do you get colours or just French tips?那么，你是涂了趾甲油还是只留了法式的长趾Monica: There. Here's their card.在这儿。
我这儿有张卡。
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)谢谢。
嗨，我知道这个地方！那儿曾经是个成人录影带……花店。
(Phoebe enters)Phoebe: Hey!Chandler: Hey Pheebs!Monica: Hey Phoebe!Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.你们不会相信谁搬回来了。
Monica:I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst!我知道，阿蔓达！-啊！她也给我打电话了！她是最差劲的！Chandler: Who's Amanda? 谁是阿蔓达？Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awfulBritish accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!" 她是你搬进来以前住你那间房子的女人。
后来她搬去英国了，还学了假惺惺的英国口音。
她在我留言机上的留言是这样的：“莫妮卡，亲爱的！阿蔓达在给你打电话！”Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?你是要模仿英国口音？Monica:(pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!钱德去美甲了！Chandler: Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?我只想知道,我还要受多少次这种奚落？Phoebe:You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"你知道阿蔓达跟我是在电话上是怎么说的？“哦，很抱歉打你的手机！如果—如果你不想跟我在手机上说,那就别给我手机打电话！”Monica: I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met.我知道，她还老是拿她碰到的名人来吹牛。
Phoebe: Oh, I know! "Oh...I slept with Billy Joel". All right, who hasn't噢，我知道！“哦……我跟乔尔.比利睡觉了”。
好吧，可那是谁？Monica: Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!!噢，我们该怎么办？我不想见她！Phoebe: Ugh, Let's just cut her out! 呃，我们隔离了她！Monica: What?Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!-把她从我们的生活里隔离！不理她的电话，躲开她直到她明白过来！Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that? 哦，我觉得我们可以试试，不过……有点太苛刻了吧！你这么做过吗？Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good ! 没，不过有人对我做过。
[At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]Assistant: Alright Mr. Geller! Right this way! So, how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three. 感觉不错！好的盖勒先生！请走这边！那么，你想要多深呢？我们有一级、二级和三级。