化学专业英语写作-第五章

10
• 病句：He studies very hard and his leisure hours are devoted to lessons. • 他学习非常努力，空闲时间全花在功课上。 • 此句两分句主语不一致，较差，改成如下句子 就好些。 • He studies very hard, and devotes his leisure hours to lessons. • 病句：No matter how force is produced, we can measure it in pounds. • 不管力是如何产生的，都可用磅来计算。 • No matter how force is produced, it can be measured in pounds.
8
1.3 不对等的思想用对等的连接词加以 连接
• 病句：Our classmate was ill and it was the reason why he was absent so long.（我们班那位同学生 病了，这是他缺课这么久的原因。） • 这句话把重要性不同的从句并列，破坏了句子 统一性，改正如下： • The reason why our classmate was absent so long was that he was ill. • 或 Our classmate was absent for such a long time because he was ill.
6
• 1.2 把应该密接的思想分开来
• 病 句 ： Mr. Wang was a wonderful electrical engineer, He was also a mathematical genius. At first he worked in a telegraph office and had to leave because he became deaf. Finally he retired to Tianjin, and lived alone. • 除了给儿童或初学外文的人写作时，需要简 短的句子外，一般在写作上很少都是简单句— —主+谓+宾一类的格式，科学论文也不例外， 一联串的短句，犹如一架不停开放的机关抢， 声音单调而机械，使人看了神经紧张，因而在 文字上不能起到吸引读者的作用，上文可改写：
16
• 2.2 修饰词的使用
•
分词，动名词，不定式，省略句等在使用时，
要注意用主语的呼应，不可使它孤零零地无所
依附，或依附在错误的词上，而成为无所属或
架空的修饰词，使人费解。
17
• 2.2.1 分词 • 误：Differentiating both sides with respect to x, the equation becomes x2+y2=z2. equation本身不 能进行differentiating，因此differentiating成了 架空的修饰词，造成不连贯。 • 正：Differentiating both sides with respect to x, we obtain the equation x2+y2=z2. • 误：Being short of trucks, the machine parts had to be carried to the works. • 正：Being short of trucks, they had to carry the machine parts to the works.
• 1.4.3 没有理由地突然改变时态和语态
• 病句：For the tenth time he sent his manuscript to the editor, but again it is returned to him. • They would save almost $500 if they can reuse the containers.
7
• Mr. Wang was not only a wonderful electrical engineer but also a mathematical genius. Owing to deafness he had to leave the telegraph office where he first worked and retired to Tianjin, and lived alone. • 王先生不仅是一位出色的电气工程师，还是一 位数学天才，由于耳聋，他不得不离开当初他 工作的电报局而退休到天津，在那里他独自生 活着。
15
• 误：He moved steadily neither looking left nor right, neither to slacken nor hastening his footsteps. • 正：He moved steadily looking neither left nor right neither slackening nor hastening his footsteps. • 误：Geophysics provides a method of finding oil, several kinds of ore, and the probable means of exploiting them. • The probable means 和 oil及several kinds of ore 意思不平行，不能放在finding的宾语位置上。
11
• 1.4.2 没有理由地改变主语或宾语的数
• 病句：(1) If one tries hard, they can pass the entrance examination. • (2) He carefully wiped each of the instruments and put them away.
1子里两个或两个以上的句子成分起 同一种职能时，应当使用相当的词类，使它们 对 称 。 在 使 用 并 列 连 接 词 如 and, but, or, both…and, not only…but also, either…or, neither…nor, 等，应该名词连名词，动词连动 词，从句连从句。如果连接的成分不对称，就 会破坏句子结构的对称性，就会破坏连贯性。
• 这个句子语法正确，但内容过多，含意也不密 切相连，使人抓不住要点，破坏了句子统一性， 如换成三个句子，则层次清楚。
4
• The quality of the half-tone reproduction depends both on the grade of paper used and on the fineness of the screen. In general, glassy paper and finer screens give better detail, but the limit is set by the absorbency of the paper and the quality of the printing. Not every printer is equipped to reproduce half-tones with maximum clarity.
9
1.4 没理由地突然改变句子结构
• 1.4.1 突然改变主语和动词的语态 • 病句：He ran to the station and the train was taken by him. • 应改为：He ran to the station and took the train. • 这里不是说一句中的并列谓语或并列复合句中 绝对不能使用不同的语态，只是说在能够一致 时，应尽量一致。
3
1.1 把两个不相关连的思想放在一起
• 病 句 ： (1) The quality of the half-tone reproduction depends both on the grade of the paper used (the glossier the better) and on the fineness of the screen, in general the finer screen giving the better detail, but the limit is set by the absorbency of the paper and the quality of the printing, not every printer being equipped to reproduce half-tones with maximum charity.
12
2. 连贯性(Coherence)
• 一篇好的论文犹如一条长链，每一节是一个 环，一节很自然地带来另一节，一句带来另一 句。作者的思想自始至终要相互连续，也就是 要有连贯性，句与句之间要有技巧的连接，词 与词之间，词组与词组之间的关系要明确，使 人一目了然。修饰词、连接词、先行词、转换 词序等要处理得当，否则会引起不连贯，要达 到连贯性，应注意以下几点：
第五章 科技英语中常用修辞学
1
•
文章是由段落组成的，段落又是由句子组成 的，句子是表达思想感情的最小语言单位，因 此要把文章写好，就必须把句子造好，每个段 落写好，写好段落和要造好句子就必须掌握四 大要素：统一性，连贯性，强势性和简洁性。
2
1．统一性(unity)
• 句子的统一性包括每一个句话都有一个明确 的中心思想，一句话只允许讲述一个中心思想， 一句中若出现两个或两个以上相关连的思想时， 我们要判断哪个是主要思想，哪个是从属思想？ 分别以主句和从句将思想表达出来。如果两个 思想重要性相等，又密切关连，则用并列连接 词，写出并列句，如果两个或更多的思想互不 关连，则用两个或更多的句子来表达，否则将 两个以上互不关联的概念放入一个句子，时而 以甲为对象，时而以乙作对象，变得语无论次， 就破坏了句子的统一性。