唐伯虎点秋香(英文剧本) 改编版
唐伯虎点秋香改编
改编后的小品剧本。
唐伯虎点秋香人物：唐伯虎——唐——Y 饰小强——强——L 饰秋香——秋——G 饰强盗A —— A——C 饰强盗B —— B——J 饰台词：第一幕：公子出游旁白：一个是风流才子，一个是貌美佳人，唐伯虎点蚊香的美妙爱情……sorry，唐伯虎点秋香的美妙爱情是如何开始的呢？故事就发生在这个秋高气爽的清晨～（唐和强上）唐：桃花坞里桃花庵，桃花庵里桃花仙，桃花仙人种桃树，又摘桃花换酒钱……强：好诗唐：我就是神武英明，盖世无双，人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎的唐伯虎！我不仅谈吐优雅，而且品种优良，（停顿）堪称海洋三所的——强：盒饭唐：嗯～～？（瞪眼）强：模范！如果说俺们少爷有才他得受罚的话，那他可就得千刀万剐呀～唐（瞪眼）：哎～呀你看你这话说得……强：如果说俺们少爷有德那是犯罪的话，那他可就是罪恶滔天啊～（唐捋袖子）如果说俺们少爷帅～唐：我帅故我在强：那是造孽的话唐：嗯～～？？！（作打人状）强：天打雷劈呀！唐：嗯？你小子说啥玩意儿呢，找削啊！强：少爷息怒息怒，你看，八卦上说您今儿个有桃花运唐：啥玩意儿啥玩意儿，说我今天有桃花运，我哪天没桃花运啊（强嘻笑）你小子别瞎说，再瞎说以后不出来带你玩儿了（下场）第二幕：秋香上旁白：那时候，秋香同志正赶在上班的路上～秋：人在职场飘，哪能睡懒觉，哎呀今天要新员工培训的，没想到又起晚了，我得赶紧啊不然得迟到啦。
（A、B上场，斧头舞）A：此树是我开～B：此路是我栽～A：要想过此路～B：留下钞票来！A：打打打打打打劫！秋：哇，好可爱的面具，你们哪里买的啊。
B：严肃点严肃点，我们这里抢劫呢。
A：IC、IP、IQ卡，通通告诉我密码！秋：我刚上班，还没发工资呢。
A：那有现金没？秋：要多少钱啊？A：两块，一人俩包子，别扯别的秋：没两块，只有五块的。
A（抢）：拿来吧，（对B）找她三块钱。
B：大哥，咱们就剩三块了啊A：给她，快点儿。
秋：还能买罐花生牛奶。
钱也给你们了，可以放我走了吧。
英语小话剧搞笑唐伯虎点秋香
（江南四大才子结伴出游）一女子：你们看，你们看，江南四大才子在那边哎.(look,look! here comes the four handsome boys! )（众女子兴奋观看）（四大才子摆ＰＯＳＥ，众女子倾倒逃散）（一女子被四人拦住，被迫跳河）唐伯虎：想跑？你飞不出我的五指山的。
（欲跳下河被拦住） (don’t go ,you can’t fly out of my five fingers! )祝枝山：伯虎兄，有人在看。
(keep calm brother tang, someone watching )祝枝山：今天我们江南四大才子到这里游山玩水，难怪那些女子要疯狂了。
(Today we four handsome boys here, it's no wonder that those women are crazy !)文斌：说得是，(that’s true )文征明：各位各位，既然大家今天兴致这么好，不如来吟首诗如何？（hey,boys ,how about singing poems since we are exicted 祝枝山：哎，征明兄提议的好啊。
文斌兄你先来。
That sounds great !so ,brother wenbing ,you singing first!）文斌：来呀！(OK),山下一群鹅。
文征明：嘘声赶落河。
祝枝山：落河捉鹅一肚饿。
唐伯虎：吃完回家玩老婆。
三人：哎呀，对得妙呀，真是绝句！( Oh my gad ,this poem is really cool!)唐伯虎：啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` (hahahahaha)三人：真的那么好笑？！(oh,what he laughed at? and What’so fanny!)文征明：为什么唐兄每次出游，都那么豪情奔放呢？ (why brother tang can keep happy everytime when we go out?)文斌：乐而忘形，实在令人（三人）羡慕羡慕啊。
英语剧本-三顾茅庐
英语情景剧剧本:三顾茅庐Three visits to the cottageAside: Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the FourGreat classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story . In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own SWordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageAside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, thethree persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible! Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband‟s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouseLiubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: ZhuGeliang Zhu‟s WifeZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What‟s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audie nce) I‟ve never heart about that. Andshe obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It‟s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I‟m dizzy.Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so s erious. If you can‟t pass cet6 to get your master‟s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Tianjin.(cry) ZhuGeliang：Don‟t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don‟t need to learn.Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can‟t.Wife：You can‟t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning.I shouldn't marry here. If I didn‟t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang：Don‟t cry, don‟t cry, stop! I …m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England.Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang‟s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me knock the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt?(Open the door)Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is study ing English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We will wait for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will be come back, so, let‟s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn‟t see Zhugeliang as well . Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is out.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let‟s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment! Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money? Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don‟t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!Zhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own SWordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don‟t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang‟s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ………Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can‟t let him in.ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don‟t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days. ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man. Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country.Liubei: I‟m so surprised! I don‟t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us? ZhuGeliang: But I can‟t help you, I have accustom the life at present.Liubei: If you don‟t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don‟t refuse.ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can‟t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me toresolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, co me here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can‟t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang‟s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years study ing at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don‟t worried, never miss you!!(Run)ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last. Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.。
小品剧本《唐伯虎点秋香》
小品剧本唐伯虎点秋香人物：唐伯虎（说话声音温柔），秋香，秋香母（男生反串，学女人腔）劫匪（饰秋香母的人）（唐伯虎入场）伯虎：（右手摇扇/左手拿鸟笼）桃花坞里桃花庵，桃花庵里桃花仙；桃花仙人种桃树，又摘桃花换酒钱。
酒醒只在花前坐，酒醉还来花下眠；半醉半醒日复日，花开花落年复年。
我就是神武英名盖世无双，人见人爱，神见神爱，车见车爆胎，智慧与美貌并重，英雄与侠义的化身，唐伯虎。
我不仅谈吐风雅，而且品质优良，堪称新时代的……伯虎：昨晚做了个梦~~梦到一个算命的老头儿说我今儿个要走桃花运。
[离场] 旁白：伯虎邂逅绝代佳人秋香，上演了一出英雄救美。
秋香：手拿手机背个挎包入场劫匪：紧跟在后嘴里含着婴儿奶嘴儿[贼眉鼠眼]劫匪：站住！此树是我栽，此路是我开，要想从此过，留下买路财！秋香：那小女子把东西给你，你就放我走么？[顺手把手机给劫匪/劫匪把手机放兜里]劫匪：等……等会儿，等会儿，我……我要先劫……劫个色。
（唐伯虎突然从秋香侧跳出）伯虎：葵花点穴手！[加动作]伯虎：混帐东西大白天的也敢抢东西，今天碰到我唐演算你倒霉！最近看新闻不？就是不看新闻，听听广播，看看报纸也能知道呀，党教育我们要以团结互助为荣，以损人利己为耻；以遵纪守法为荣，以违法乱纪为耻。
我最看不起你们这些抢女人东西的人了，一点技术含量都没有，改革开放这么多年了，怎么你连台词都没变，真是悲哀啊。
（扇指劫匪），你看看你，好手好脚的，做点什么不好，学人家打劫，多大了[回过头问劫匪，劫匪痛苦的恩~恩~两声]问你呢！多大了！还叼个奶嘴儿，靠~~！托儿所阿姨没交你学好吗[不耐烦的用扇敲了下劫匪/依然没有应答] 秋香：大哥~~你好像点了他的穴呀伯虎：呀~我差点望了，葵花解穴手[加动作]劫匪：哎呀，大哥，你可别说了，敢情你们姓唐的都这么能说啊。
您跟唐僧是一个妈生的吧，小弟再也不敢了，真是磨及死人不偿命哈。
伯虎：说啥呢，排山倒海！[加动作]（劫匪下）秋香：刚才若不是公子搭救，恐怕我就……伯虎：姑娘你太客气了。
【英文剧本】7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDSThree visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser1. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity2, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted3 his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting4 Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But thisplay is the result of painstaking5 efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageAside: After their swearing brotherhood6 to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors7 in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary8 and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic9 life end? It's so terrible!Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s CET-6 fees last month, itseems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse.Liubei: Alas10! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: ZhuGeliang WifeZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose11 recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze12. I’m dizzy.Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Yangling.ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.Wife：You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England. .Keeper: Yes! Madam!Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang’s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door)Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let’s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhugeliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind13 him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let’s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand?Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!Zhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own Swordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don’t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ……….Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can’t let him in.ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver14 tongue.Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days.ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign15 the whole country.Liubei: I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?ZhuGeliang: But I can’t help you, I have accustom16 the life at present.Liubei: If you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t refuse.ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft17 our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Mastergraduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don’t worried, never miss you!!(Run) ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty18, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last.Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.1 advisern.劝告者，顾问参考例句：They employed me as an adviser.他们聘请我当顾问。
唐伯虎点秋香,搞笑版英文台词
旁白：one day , four scholars go o 了ut for sightseeing舞蹈开始（开场舞音乐）祝枝山: we are four scholars in the southern part china . Today we are waiting here for your sightseeing with the beautiful scenery . How about recite verses ?祝之山：good idea . Mr Tang comes first . 唐伯虎: ok , I think it's a good idea .众人感叹: oh so many beautiful girl秋香走过，与唐伯虎四目相对，深情对望直至离去。
祝枝山: hey come on ,what’s wrong with you文征明: come on唐伯虎: ok ，with water and hills , every plants look bright and beautiful rain and shine , every moment appears pleasant and wonderful .祝枝山: good ,you deserve the title of scholar 唐伯虎: thank you thank you ,I’m the best二：周文宾: oh ,look ，a sexy girl文征明: so beautiful周文宾: she looks so longly ,Mr Tang , show us how to seduce her唐伯虎: en......en......祝枝山: we believe you will not let us down周文兵&文征明: yes唐伯虎: ok周文宾&文征明&祝枝山: go go go如花出场唐伯虎: Hello ( 看到如山真面目)唐伯虎: may I learn on your scholar如花: what ? no way I’m a girl I’m a decent girl唐伯虎: ok I see do you know tangbohu ?如花: tangbohu? Who is he? I don’t know唐伯虎: ok ok how about this ? ten yuan and them let me learn on your shoulder .It’s a deal如花: 10 yuan ? just yuan? At least 100 yuan唐伯虎: oh my lady gaga . you are ugly monster如花: ugly!!! Monster!!! (走人)三周文宾: what't that ? So many people .祝枝山: let's have a look .文征明: get away !(动作：推人)唐伯虎: it's her . I want to go to the party.祝枝山: good idea ! I am sure you can do it .四主持人：oh ladies and gentlemen . I'm at Hua'villa . Today here will hold the Blind Date Party . Oh my god ,look at the crazy the secne .so many people , let's guess who will be the lucky dog . Now , let's welcome Mrs Hua and QiuXiang .主持人：oh Mrs Hua , you are also so young . Of course , QiuXiang you are so beautiful .QiuXiang : thank you !主持人：do you have anything to say ? (对华夫人说)Mrs Hua : i hope everyone can enjoy the night . Thank you !下人：this way , please !QiuXiang : mum, give him some tips . （华夫人开始掏钱，先掏出100，马上收起来，再掏出1块就给了下人，下人鄙视了一下，甩甩毛巾走人，华夫人：切。
唐伯虎点秋香多人英语喜剧剧本
三花痴在街上游走。
花痴1：it is so boring !花痴2：yes, it is !花痴3：we have nothing to do !花痴4：look, the four are there!四大才子出场花痴2：it is them !it is them! it isreally them!花痴3：how handsome they are ! how charming they are !I am dizzying!尖叫！四大才子秀舞。
祝枝山：I am the most handsome man in the world,and I have as much money as mouation!文征明：I am so attractive thateach girl will fall in love with me atthe first sight!(抛媚眼) 尖叫声不断徐峥卿：I am so charming that no one can compare with me !唐伯虎：Do you love me ? haveyou heard my name before? Tangbohu is me !（尖叫。
）文征明：Hi ,guy !today all of us are in a good mood!how about trying some English tounge twist! 祝枝山：Good idea ! brother wen ,you first please!绕口令Peter pepper picked upa peck of pickled peppersDid peter pepper pick up a peck of pickled peppersIf peter picked up a peck of pickled peppers Where is the peck of pickledpeppers peter pepper picked up!（乱成一团）唐伯虎：haha （突然大笑）三人：Is that so funny ?文征明：Why do you so happy today ,bohu !唐伯虎：Because madam hua have promised me to marry qiu xiang .(做可爱状) Ha Ha.However ,I will try my best to get her .祝枝山：since you have made up you mind, we will use our wisdom to help you !四人信心满满一起去了华府。
《唐伯虎点秋香》英文搞笑版剧本
《唐伯虎点秋⾹》英⽂搞笑版剧本唐伯虎与秋⾹Scene one（⾳乐：Happy day）唐伯虎的五位妻⼦正在家中玩牌…唐：（⼿摇⽤钞票攒成的扇⼦，摆pose）I’m back, honeys .Wives:（⼀⼈⼀叫）honey, sweetie, dear, darling, candy.Wife 1: Today is payday, isn’t it?2: How much have you got?3: You’ve promised to treat us a big meal.4: We want to go to KFC.5: Yeah, let’s go!Scene two(They enter KFC.)Wife 1: I want a hamburger.2: I want a fried chicken.3: I want potato chips.4: I want Pepsi.唐：Ok, ok, find a table first, and sit there quietly. I know what your favorite is.(唐伯虎取完⾷物回来)唐：（按顺序发）Your hamburger. You fried chicken…(看见秋⾹)Ur…what a beauty!(⽯榴忙梳妆)⽯：Would you want to treat us?唐：Ok, of course! Join us!⽯：Oh, a free big meal!秋：That’s not so good. We have to go.⽯：Why? Let’s have a meal, a free meal, and a handsome guy.唐：According to your temperament, you two mustn’t come from ordinary family. ⽯：Yes, we are from 华府. My name is ⽯榴. I like cooking, swimming, …(Cell phone ringing)秋：Hello, oh, I’ll be back soon!对⽯：We have to go. Madam Hua called us.对唐：We are so sorry. Thank you all the same.⽯：See you. This is my card.唐：（看秋⾹，看⽼婆）唉!Now I really know what a beauty is!(唐伯虎和祝枝⼭闲逛，在街上，见告⽰，⼀脸惊愕，转⾼兴)唐：God bless me!祝：You’re so crazy about money?唐：Money? No! It’s a secret!祝：（鄙视状）Ur…I see. It must be some women.唐：My parents give birth to me, but you are the only person who knows me. I must be quick!Scene three(华府门前——⼀⼤堆⼈在府门前，唐跪在旁)（⾳乐起：⼆泉映⽉）唐：Everybody! Attention, please! A dutiful son will sell himself for the dead father. Please show some mercy on me!⽯：You, guy, why come here so early just do this kind of business? Don’t you know it will bring bad luck?唐：Good lady, I have no other choice.秋：You look so familiar. We have met before somewhere?唐：Come across each other with no care of acquaintance or not.⽯：What a pity! But we only need one servant.惨⼈：How miserable I am! I want to sell myself for my whole family.唐：It can’t be true.惨⼈：Show some mercy on me. Last night, my whole family except me all went to heaven. And I have heart attack, blood cancer…Please, hire me as your servant. 秋：This one deserves more sympathy. Let’s hire him.⽯：（哭）Ok.唐：Madam, I came first.秋：It’s not a matter of order.⽯：Yes, this guy’s family almost all went to heaven. You just lost your father. We really want to help you, but…唐：But, I’m also miserable.⽯：But the fact is he is more miserable. Do you have something more miserable? 唐：I…Ur…You see, I haven’t clean my nails for days. They are dirty with mud.Doesn’t it seem miserable?(惨⼈的⼩狗突然死去)惨⼈：（痛苦）旺财…旺财…How can you die? You have been with me for so many years! Since you came to my family, you have never had a full meal. I’m so sorry for you.唐：（看见⼀只蟑螂，⼤叫) Be careful!(⽯榴⼀退，踩死蟑螂)唐：Baby！What’s wrong with you? How can you go first?! I have been with you for so many years. I treat you as my brother.I teach you, raise you. How can I imagine you go before me?⽯：秋⾹，They are both miserable, what shall we do?秋：Let’s wait and see.惨⼈：That’s good.(⾛到唐伯虎前)Big brother, don’t play tricks. You guy, please, do some make-ups first. You see, my body is full of wound.How can you look more miserable than me?唐：Please don’t compete with me. The most thing I ca n’t tolerate is that someone competes with me!惨⼈：Can you be more miserable than me?(唐捡起⼀棍，⾃断⼀臂)唐：Now you see, my arm is broken! Ha Ha!惨⼈：I won’t give up. I will contribute my life.（拿起棍⼦砸脑门，⾎流不⽌）Who can be more miserable than me? （倒下）唐：Good guy, you win! We’ll meet next time if there is chance.⽯：This one is dead. We decide to hire you.唐：Really?⽯：Yes.秋：You can go home for some preparations. Come tomorrow.唐：Miss 秋⾹, thank you!(秋⾹回眸⼀笑。
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Flirting Scholar（唐伯虎点秋香）Act 1地点：A river side, on the street人物：两女子、四大才子、如花、华夫人、四香、两家丁、两狗仔队迈克尔杰克逊音乐响起，四大才子身着西装，舞蹈上场。
舞蹈结束：一女子：Go and have a look.(两女子小跑到四大才子斜侧痴情的看着）四大才子：Ladys and gentlemen, we are the 'Four Scholars' .（从左到右：祝掐腰叼烟样，文抱手样，唐扇子遮脸坏笑样，周拿枪耍酷样，众女子倾倒）祝枝山：（从后背掏出扇子）We come here for a tour.That’s why thegirls are that crazy.文征明：Pals, why not has a poem competition?（走出来邀请三人）祝：Very good idea!Why don't you start first? Brother Wen bin.（做请他人样）周文斌：l am the best in this field.'There are many geese under the mountain.'（顺手指河）文征明：'They rushed down to the river.'（顺手指河）祝：'Let's roast a goose.'（顺手指河）唐：'After roasting, you'd better go home for a screw.'三人：Good, very good. Very good!（三人笑，唐伯虎逛笑）祝：There is something attractive. See, there is a beauty on the bridge.（指向原不远处，泰坦尼克号音乐响起，如花缓缓走过）She seemsto be lonely.Why not show us your talent about how to court a girl.To let us learn from you!唐：Well...周文斌：lt's the welfare for your friends, so?唐：l am glad to demonstrate it.三人：Go.唐：Miss.如花：What's the matter? （一回头，竟是如花！唐伯虎吃惊样并伴随呕吐感，苦笑回头看其他三人）三人：Go, go...唐：May l put my head on your shoulder?如花：ls it OK? No, l am a girl, a decent girl.（大惊小怪的说出）唐：l know, l want to make my friends happy, that's all.ln fact,l am Tong Pak-Fu.（正经样）如花：So what?l don't know you.l will shout for help if you don't leave me alone.唐：How about paying you 1 tael?（掏出一块钱）如花： 1 tael? Who do you think l a.m.?Make it ten.（伸手不屑样）唐：That's too expensive, why don't you rob?如花：Right, l am robber.Give me all your money.（两人乱打，最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中）三人：What's wrong?（赶到桥上）What’s the matter?文征明：No need to punch her like that?唐：Robber! lt's a ladyboy!三人：Ladyboy?祝：l love it. Hold it.（眼睛往上挑一下，祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中）文征明：Damn it. He is being the first to!（华夫人带众人去拜神）春香：Look, so many people!（四香排队而出）夏香：Yes, it's crowded.（春夏香左顾右盼，其后再跟两个男家丁身着西装戴墨镜）华夫人：Chun-xiang, Xia-xiang, shut up.唐：Heave yourselves.What's going on?文征明：Madam Hua and her 4 pretty maids have come for worshipping.（用头指向华，狗仔队两人上拍照）周文斌：The maids are all pretty, especially Qiu-xiang.唐：Who is she? Who is Qiu-xiang?文斌,征明：Look! That way.三人：Qiu-xiang.（秋香回首一笑）唐：Damn, she is not pretty at all.周文斌：You know, pretty woman is like flowers.You'll be all eyes for its beauty if some leaves are around.Look once more.三人：Pretty woman!（其他三香回首皆成丑女衬托）唐：Woo, she is really pretty!Let's go in the temple together.To look for fun!（陶醉样）Act 2地点：West Gate of Hua’s house人物：唐伯虎、春香、惨人、秋香唐：Cheap man! A brand new cheap man for e and have a look!I’m so poor!（身挂一小招牌，哭喊状）（春香和秋香出门）春香：Are you selling yourself to bury your dad?But it's not lucky to see a dead body early in the morning.(嫌弃样）唐：l don't want, too.Why don't you be merciful, buy me please.春香：What a pity? We need a workman indeed, why not...（这时又来了一个人，身挂一大招牌，这人还口吐血，极其悲惨）惨人：l am poor, l want to sell myself to bury my whole family!唐：Kidding?!惨人：Be merciful, my family died last night.l am sick with tuberculosis too, why not buy me? May be, I’ll cut half price!（伸手乞求样）秋香：He is miserable; why not buy him to be our workman?春香：（哭）So, buy him.唐：Lady, first come first serve, l come first.秋香：lt's not a matter of priority.春香：Leave It to me. He has to bury his whole family and you have to bury your dad only.l do want to help you, but it's difficult for me to buy two. 唐：But, l am miserable too.（哭）春香：Then show me how miserable you are.唐：Well, l... See how dirty are my fingernails?lt's miserable, right?惨人：（惨人从背后掏出一只狗）（痛哭）Wong Cai, don't die! Don't die.You have followed me for a long time, you're so good to me.But lhave never given you sufficient food.l am damn sorry.唐：（唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂）Watch out!（春香一退，将蟑螂踩死了。
）（悲痛欲绝）Xiao qiang, how are you?Don't die, Xiao qiang, don't die.We have suffered for such a long time,l treated you as my relative.How can you leave me like this…春香：Sister Qiu-xiang, they are both miserable, what'll we do?秋香：Let's wait and see.惨人：（走到唐伯虎跟前，两人对峙）Damn! Brother! Wait.（大喊苦样）Look at you, you look rich. Why not go home and make a poorlook.first? Look at me, l am thin, and see the abscess on my hand!（对自己身体比划）l am really miserable than you.唐：Pal, don't challenge me. l hate to be challenged.惨人：So what?唐：Are you pushing me?惨人：l am miserable than you, so what?唐：Damn! Go to hell! （唐伯虎拿起一根木棒将自己的胳膊打断）唐：See, my whole hand is broken.Who is miserable now?惨人：Don't go too far!唐：lt's show-hand, so what?惨人：l'll play with you.OK, l will show-hand too.（拿起棍子砸自己的头，血流如注）Are you playing tricks with me?l don't want my life either,let's see how you can compete with me.Who is miserable? （说完，倒地身亡）唐：Bravo! You are really great. See you next time!春香：Hey, he is dead, l can buy you now.唐：Really?春香：Yes.唐： 5 taels more please.春香：How can you raise your price suddenly?唐：l want to bury him, too.春香：What a good heart you have! Let's buy him.（拿出银子）秋香：Come early tomorrow morning.唐：Thank you, Miss Qiu-xiang.（秋香进门时对唐伯虎一笑）唐：Such a tempting smile!Mom, l have got it.（兴奋）Act 3地点：The backyard of Hua’s house人物：唐、秋、宁王、对穿肠、夺命、华二老、仆人（华府，秋香窗外，唐伯虎身着西装）唐（独白）：Oh, Qiuxian,your smile is so beautiful,You let me yearn,you let me crazy,you are the ideal wife in my heart!(陶醉样）秋香：Hua an, why you are here?唐：I (Hua an) want to appreciate Q iuxiang’s appearance.秋香：Boring! Why are there so many nonsense rubbishes in this world? 唐：Mybe you misunderstand me.(东成西就“i love you”音乐响起，唐舞蹈）秋：（一盆水泼下）Where is cold,where are you going.（唐伯虎下，换古装）（独白）l wonder, is Tong Pak-Fu，the only ideal man in this world！Only a romantic man...can write such romantic poem!'The temple is located inside the peach blossom garden.''There is a fairy of peach blossom.''The fairy of peach blossom planted the peach blossom trees.''She traded the flowers for sweet wine.'唐：（唐才子模样出场，寂寞沙洲冷过门）'The furthest distance in the word''Is not between life and death''But wen I stand in front of you''Yet you don't know that I love you'(秋香把一物砸下来)秋香：You know I don't like Taigeer.唐:(唐一手插腰，一手伸开）Stop,kao please don't throw the things at me,it's not a big thing I do it again. （寂寞沙洲冷接着响起)'The people thought l was insane.''But they don't really understand me.''Can't you see the graves of the heroes?'‘No flowers, no wine, but who cares?'（秋香与才子模样的唐伯虎含情相望）唐：l love this poem!I love you more.秋香：You recited the poem of Tong Pak-Fu.ln fact, it's a kind of insult.唐：l couldn't help telling you the truth...Listen to me, l am Tong... Bo... Hu!(眼睛一下比一下亮)秋香：Tong Bo-Hu?（吃惊、心喜样）唐：So?秋香：You are really Tangbohu？唐：Qiuxiang, it’s me.（秋香走过来，含情默默相对，然后相拥一起，宁王来提亲）某家丁（幕后）：Milord,Madam,Ningwang is conming.(慌张，音乐停)秋香：Oh terrible,what should we do,quickly,come into my room.(唐、秋下，宁王、对穿肠、夺命书生上、华二老上）宁王：(拱手向华二老作揖)Ha-ha-ha，Milord Hua and Madam Hua,how's it Going?华夫人：No things no come,what will you do today come here,Milord Ning?（不怀好口气）宁王：My son will be engaged to Qiuxiang,are you ok？华夫人：It's not I disagree,but Qiuxiang had her lover.宁王：(生气样)Heng,however she thought,you must agree with me today.华夫人：After all,there is Huafu,you must do it as the rules of us.We can compete,if you win ,I would give Qiuxiang to you.宁王：Good,very good!（坏笑）对穿肠：（双截棍音乐响起，对穿肠手持扇子胡乱比划，音乐停，众人目瞪口呆，不知如何是好）（一丫鬟上把四个碗一双筷子摆上桌子，忐忑响起）唐：（唐潇洒上场，用筷子敲碗，音乐结束，对穿肠往后坐倒在地，抹抹袖子爬起来）对：What a small potato!唐：What a big potato!对：you...you...you...(手捂胸口指向唐)唐：Damn...damn...damn.shame on you!(一声比一声大，带戏耍口气，对穿肠再次坐倒在地，吐血)夺命书生：hi,baby,give me your life(对穿肠让开，说完跳出来，唐假装被吓往后一跳)华夫人：Look out(一拍桌子，站了起来,跳出来推开唐）ha-ha-ha,What a big tone!Good!As your wish, today is the time of your death!(音乐响起最后的抉择，华夺二人舞蹈，败下阵)（音乐beautiful响起，唐夺二人斗舞，结束二人做亲吻状，唐顺势捂嘴坏笑，夺呕吐）宁王：Oh,no,no,you had win today,remember,I will come back someday.(气急败坏的下)唐华：See you...!(做再见样)Act 4地点：Hua’s house人物：四香、唐、华夫人、仆人、众人三香：（跳起，相当兴奋）Hua an, you are so great !（对望）Tang bohu is so great！秋香：Bohu, are you alright?唐：l am fine, how about you?华夫人：Tong Pak-Fu, l have to thank you for saving our whole family.How can l reward you?唐：Madam, you are welcome, l have only one request.华夫人：l know it, you love Qiu xiang, right?l will marry her to you.唐：Bravo!（唐秋二人相拥，高兴，秋香下）华夫人：Tong bohu, although l promise to marry Qiu xiang to you,but on one condition.Choose Qiu xiang among 4 brides.某家丁：（读条款）You should find her out before the incense is extinguished.On the following conditions:1st: Stand behind the yellow line to find out.2nd: The brides can't produce any noise. Otherwise, she'll be fouled.3rd: Don't use anything...to touch the brides.That's all.（速度快）华夫人：lf you can't find Qiu xiang in time, then you'll lose.Then, Qiu xiang will marry my sons.唐：Madam, please don't fool me.Be frank, l can swear! l love Qiu xiang whole-heartedly.Why do you fool me again and agian?华夫人：Nonsense, choose it!唐：Oh, my god. （做出挑选新娘的动作,一准新娘身子动了动）l know it.（飞身将准新娘抱住）唐：On time. Qiu xiang（掀开准新娘的面具）.You are so beautifulI love you!秋香：I love you ,too!(亲嘴样)众人：（做恭喜状）congratulations...congratulations!唐：Qiuxiang,can you follow with me?秋香：Of course,it's what I think for a long time.(刘海砍樵英文版众人边唱边下，唐秋最后)唐：（唱）walk...秋：（唱）go...。