30个英语幽默童话故事
30个英语幽默童话故事1、农夫和熊英语单词：farmer 农夫、fiy 苍蝇、bear 熊。
Farmer 孤零零一人，他想，要是能找到一个朋友，就好了。
Farmer和bear成了好朋友，他们很开心。
两个朋友手拉手一块儿散步。
Farmer躺下来休息，bear一点也为累，坐在旁边。
“我要睡觉，别把我弄醒。
”Bear忠实地守护着Farmer。
嗡嗡嗡，一只fiy飞来了。
Bear挥了挥前掌，赶走了fiy。
Fiy又落到了Farmer的头上，bear拿起一块大石头嘭的一下砸向fiy。
天啊，Farmer脑袋上血肉模糊，已经死了。
2、农夫和蛇英语单词：snake 蛇、horse 马、son 儿子。
有一位善良的Farmer，总爱帮助别人。
在雪地上他看到一条snake 。
“噢，snake被冻僵了，太可怜了！”“裹进棉衣暖和暖和吧！”Farmer脱下了棉衣。
“进怀里来暖和暖和吧！”Farmer把snake 放进怀里。
snake在怀里蠕动，终于醒过来了。
snake伸出毒针，狠狠地咬了一口Farmer。
“啊！”Farmer倒地地上，horse大声嘶叫。
Farmer的儿子赶来，“哪里跑！”Farmer死前告诫儿子，任何时候都不要可怜恶人。
3、青蛙搬家英语单词：wildgoose 大雁、frog 青蛙、water 水。
frog和两个wildgoose在一起生活的很低快活。
Wildgoose哥哥说：“这儿没有火，咱们到别处去吧。
”Frog嚷着：“我也要和你们一起去。
”“你如何能跟上我们呢？”frog找来一条棍子说：“用这根棍子带上我。
”“好办法，好办法”。
他们都很高兴。
获至宝他们就这样飞起来了。
“大家快来看，wildgoose带着frog飞。
又来到一村，人们喊：“wildgoose真聪明！”frog着急地喊道：“这办法是我想出来的。
”frog从天上摔到地上。
4、狗和肉英语单词：meat 肉、wolf 狼、little dog 小狗、mother dog狗妈妈。
little dog总喜欢抢大东西吃。
Mother给孩子们人分meat吃，little dog在一旁看着。
little dog 衔起一块儿大meat就往外跑。
回头一看，mother 并没有追上来。
little dog 衔着meat来到河边。
little dog往水里一瞧，“哎呀，这时期也有一条dog 。
“咦，水里的dog也衔着一块儿meat 。
”“我要抢回那块儿更大的meat。
little dog故意转了一圈。
然后猛冲下水去。
奇怪。
为什么一块儿meat也没有呢？5、狼来了英语单词：boy 男孩、goat 山羊、men 男人。
A boy每天在山时里放goat。
有一在，boy大声喊，：“wolf 来了！wolf来了！”在地里的men来了，“哪有wolf呢？“boy 说：“我骗你们玩呢！”men告诉他，“以后再也不能说谎了不起！”第二天，men又听到boy喊叫：“wolf来了！”原来，这boy又说谎了。
“真好玩，小孩子骗了大人。
”Men 很生气。
第三次，wolf真的来了，boy 害怕地大喊叫：“wolf来了，wolf来了！”wolf 吃完goat 向boy 扑去。
Boy在着急中滚下山坡。
Boy以后再也不敢说谎了。
6、狐狸和仙鹤英语单词：fox 狐狸、bottle 瓶子、crane 仙鹤、plate 盘子、meat 肉。
狐狸fox说：“crane老弟，我请你吃好东西。
”Fox端出一盘汤，“清吧！”Crane尖尖的嘴，一点儿汤也喝不到。
“现在轮到我喝了！”fox伸出了长长的舌头。
Crane说：“明天请到我家做客。
”Fox空着肚子到了crane家门口：“咚，咚。
咚。
Crane请fox坐下。
屋里真香。
Crane拿也一瓶牛肉干，“请吃吧！”Fox光着急，吃不着。
“看我的！”crane说着把尖尖的嘴伸进瓶口。
Fox只好饿着肚子回家了。
7、老鼠开会英语单词：cat 猫、bell 铃铛、little rat 小老鼠、the old rat 大老鼠。
地里往着一群老鼠rats。
屋里住着一只猫。
每天都能捉住rat。
这日子没法过了。
咱们开个会吧！“little rat 你去吧！““哎哟，我肚子疼！我不能去！”rats一个个悄悄地溜走了。
“哎，说起来容易，做起来难啊”。
8、毛驴和盐英语单词：donkey 毛驴、little horse 小马、salt 盐、sponge 海绵“好累啊，这盐真沉。
”Donkey驮着salt过河了。
“哎呀……，donkey 不小心滑过在水中。
”“咦，背了轻松了许多！这是怎么一回事？”donkey欢快地跑起来，路上见到了little horse，“你为什么这样高兴？”“我要水中摔一跤，背上轻松多了！”第二天，donkey又去驮海绵sponge。
又要过河了，“再摔一跤，多好啊！”“哧溜……，donkey故意滑了一下。
“哟，这sponge为什么这样沉？”最后，donkey被水淹死了。
9、小猫钓鱼英语单词：mother cat猫妈妈、dragonfly 蜻蜓、fish 鱼、fishing 钓鱼、baby cat 小猫。
Butterfly 蝴喋。
mother cat和baby cat一起去钓鱼。
Baby cat学mother cat 钓鱼。
mother cat钓到一长大鱼。
mother cat又钓到一条大fish。
baby cat伸手去促飞来的dragonfly。
一会儿，分他又去促蝴蝶。
“做事可不能三心二意！”“我明天学mother 一定能一心一意促大鱼。
”蜻蜓飞来了，baby cat一动也不动。
蝴蝶飞来了，他还是不动。
baby cat终于钓到一条大鱼。
10、狐狸和葡萄英语单词：fox 狐狸、grape 葡萄、sour 酸的、sweet 甜的、eat 吃。
“这么多grapes！”´“这些grapes长得太高了。
““跳！哎呀，差一点儿！”“唉，还是够不着！”“如何才能得到grape呢？”“那些grapes一定是酸的sour！”“熟透了的grape不可能是sour！我去看看！”“啊，真好吃！我去叫大家一起吃。
”“sweet grape，sweet grape！”“sour grape，sour grape！”11、小猴摘桃英语单词：watermelon 西瓜、rabbit 小兔、monkey 猴子、cabbage 白菜、peach 桃子raddish 萝卜、corn 玉米、tree 树。
一只爱丢东西的monkey。
这天monkey偷偷地溜下山去，想找点好东西吃。
正走着，monkey看到一桃子正好熟透了。
“多好的桃子，真大啊！”。
Monkey开始上树摘peach。
Monkey抱着peach，又来到一块儿玉米地，“啊，这么多玉米！”说着，monkey就扔下peach，去掰玉米。
拿着玉米，monkey又来到西瓜地里。
“再拿一个大西瓜吧！”。
正走着，有一只rabbit 从monkey的身边跑过去了，monkey想，“要是抓往这只rabbit就不是更好了么？”monkey扔下西瓜开始找rabbit，可是，rabbit已经没影子了。
到了傍晚，monkey还是两手空空！12、三只蝴蝶英语单词：butterfly 蝴蝶、red 红的、yellow 黄的、white 白的、flower 花。
三只小butterfly快乐地在一起玩。
突然下大雨了。
三只butterfly急忙去找地方避雨。
“红的red flower，让我们在你这儿避雨吧1““red+ butterfly和我一样的，可以进以进来”。
“NO，我们要呆在一块儿！”。
“white flower，让我们在你这儿避雨吧？”“只有white butterfly 可以进来”。
“我们是好朋友，不能分开！”“yellow butterfly，让我们在你这儿避雨吧？”“yellow butterfly可以进来！”太阳公公看到了，说：“多好的孩子，我要帮助他们。
”太阳公公请来了风姑娘，“呼”，吹开了黑云。
她们又在一起玩了。
13、乌鸦和狐狸英语单词：crow 乌鸦、fox 狐狸、meat 肉、tree 树、forest 森林、mouth 嘴。
一只crow叼着一块儿meat飞进了forest。
Crow高兴的想：“今天又能美餐一下了。
”“咦，crow嘴里有那么一大块儿meat”。
“我一定要想办法，得到那一块儿meat。
”“crow，你好么？”fox一边流着口水，一边说。
Crow知道fox很狡猾，所以没有张嘴。
“crow ，你知道么，喜鹊在说坏话呢？”“千万别开口，小心上当。
”“其实啊，你的歌声是最美的，我最喜欢听你唱歌”。
“啊”，crow 情不自禁的唱起了歌。
Meat自然就掉到地上了。
Fox赶快抢走了meat。
14、雪孩子英语单词：snow 雪、dance 跳舞、house 房子、ground 大地、raddish 萝卜、mother rabbit 兔妈妈、little rabbit 小兔。
冬天到了，外面飘泊起了雪花。
“little rabbit，你在家玩，我去拔萝卜。
“来，我们堆个小雪人，和你一起玩。
”little rabbit和小雪人一起玩的很开心。
“我要回家睡觉去了，你在这儿呆着。
”小雪人在地上跳起了舞。
“突然，屋子里着火了！Little rabbit 还在屋子里呢！”小雪人救出了little rabbit。
little rabbit得救了。
而小雪人变得越来越小。
“小乖乖。
“小雪人变成了一朵美丽的白云。
15、狐狸偷鸡英语单词：fox 狐狸、chickens 小鸡、lion 狮子、house 房子、thief 贼。
lion养着很多鸡，可总是丢。
应当建一个鸡棚。
Lion贴出了广告。
Fox 来找lion：“我能为你修鸡棚。
”宽敞明亮的鸡棚修好了。
鸡群高兴极了。
可在新鸡棚，鸡还是丢。
Lion 决定藏起来。
捉这个偷鸡贼。
Fox 刚捉到鸡，就听到：“站往！”“啊，原来是我的建筑师！”“噢，原来后面留着一个小门。
”16、聪明的兔子英语单词：little rabbit 小兔、elephant 象、of course 当然、what 什么。
开始时，他们的都是Good friends 好朋友。
little rabbit住的地方花草芳香，他们都想霸占。
“不对吧！”elephant 说他才是兽中之王呢！“我是兽中之王，我非咬死他不可！”Liine要病死了。
”Liine咬死了elephant 说：“等我吃完elephant再来吃你。
““不好了，Liine大王！那边有一个怪物，自称是兽中之王。
”“走，找那怪物去！”“就是他！”Liine向大海扑去。
“扑通！”Liine掉进大海淹死了。
17、聪明的乌龟英语单词：long tail 长尾巴、tortoise 乌龟、fox 狐狸、frog 青蛙、water 水、sky 天空、fire 火。
英语童话故事(精选10篇)完美版
《英语童话故事》英语童话故事精选（一）：An old cock and a foxIt is evening。
An old cock is sitting in a tree。
A fox es to the tree and looks up at the cock。
Hello，Mr Cock，I have good news for you，says the fox。
Ohsays thecock，What good news for me?All the animals are friends now。
says the fox。
Fine!says the cock。
I'm very glad to know that。
Then he looks up、Look!A dog ia ing this way。
What?A dog?says the fox。
Well。
well，I must go now。
Goodbye，Mr Cock!Wait，Mr Fox，Don't you like dogs?Don't you like playing with the dog?Dogs are our friends now。
But，。
but they may not know the news yet。
Then he runs away。
I see，I see，says the cock。
He smiles and goes to sleep翻译：一只老公鸡和一只狐狸是夜。
一只老公鸡呆在树上。
一只狐狸走向大树要拜访公鸡。
你好，公鸡先生，我有一个关于你的好消息。
狐狸说。
噢，公鸡说，是什么关于我的好消息?所有动物此刻都是朋友了。
狐狸说。
好，公鸡说，我听到那十分高兴!然后他看到了。
看，一只狗正在往这边来。
什么?一只狗?狐狸问。
好的好的，此刻我该走了，再见，公鸡先生!等等，狐狸先生，你难道不喜欢狗吗?难道你不喜欢和狗玩么?狗此刻是我们的朋友。
英语幽默小故事14篇
Gardening Gloves For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an
allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare." Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves. 园艺手套 几个月以来，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指，因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天，我正在 干园艺活时，丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的两手都是光光的。” 那天晚上，我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的.礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看：里面包着一双园艺手套。
英语幽默小故事 篇8
Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for seve Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wound Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
儿童英文幽默小故事带翻译
儿童英文幽默小故事带翻译这个世界上有成千上万不可计数的英文故事，它们的风格多样，千变万化，诡异万千，有幽默类型的，有推理类型的也有灵异类型的。
今天为大家奉上儿童英文幽默小故事，时间难得，何不深入了解一下让自己的收获更多呢?儿童英文幽默小故事(一)It Must Be CrowdedA teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there.”And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it’s a crescent moon.”一定很拥挤一位告诉学生：“月亮非常大，上面能住几百人。
”一个男孩笑着说：“当月亮变成月牙的时候，住在上面的人该多拥挤啊!”儿童英文幽默小故事(二)I can’t Cook ItIt’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.At th e time Mr. House goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks. “Because my pot is too small. I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.我没法煮它这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子，猫小姐在河边钓鱼。
儿童英文幽默小故事双语对照
儿童英文幽默小故事双语对照对于还不是很熟悉英文的儿童而言，如果是自己独自一个人看的话，自然是想要中英文翻译的版本的，毕竟如果看不懂纯英文的幽默故事，还可以参照其中文翻译不是吗?今天为大家奉上儿童英文幽默小故事，时间难得，何不深入了解一下让自己的收获更多呢?儿童英文幽默小故事(一)naughty MonkeyIt’s very hot.. An old man is asleep on the chair. A fly comes and sits on the end of the man’s nose.The old man has a naughty monkey. He chases the fly.The fly comes back again and sits on the old man’s nose again. The monkey chases it away again and again.This happens five or six times. The monkey is very angry. He jumps up, runs to the garden and picks up a large stone.When the fly sits on the old man’s nose again, the monkey hits it hard with the stone.He kills the fly and breaks the old man’s nose.调皮的猴子天气很热。
一位老人在椅子上睡着了。
一只苍蝇飞来落在老人的鼻子上。
老人有一只顽皮的猴子。
猴子在追打苍蝇。
苍蝇再次飞落在老人的鼻子上，猴子一再追打苍蝇。
这样往返了五六次，猴子很生气。
他跳着跑到花园，捡起一块大石头。
当苍蝇再次落在老人的鼻子上时，猴子用石头击中老人的鼻子上的苍蝇。
他砸死了苍蝇也打破了老人的鼻子。
英语幽默小故事五篇_儿童故事
英语幽默小故事五篇篇一：A Gentle ReminderHaving been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"篇二：Lucky MotherA young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?篇三：How to Become RichLittle brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.篇四：I want a nightmareBefore the final examination, T om told his mother, "Mom, Ihad a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.篇五：To Buy a VideoAmos asked his mother whether they could have a video.I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!。
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是店铺整理的幽默英语小故事16篇，欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。
她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。
仙女招了招手。
“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。
小学生英语幽默故事(超全版,中英双语)
Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Then,” Mother asks.“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six i s ten, isn’t it right?”故事2 十块糖妈妈问儿子：“吉姆，如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？”“10块。
”吉姆说。
“10块？”妈妈问。
“是的，妈妈。
因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？”小学生英语故事包括：幽默故事（1-7页）、普通小故事（7-40页）。
激发小朋友们学英语的兴趣，帮助他们提高成绩。
最好每天背一篇，会有不错的效果的O(∩_∩)O英文幽默故事：There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call h im ‘The Boss.’”老板最大有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。
英语童话故事(精选10篇)完美版
英语童话故事(精选10篇)完美版1. The Three Little Pigs (三只小猪)三只小猪兄弟，分别用稻草、木头和砖头盖房子，结果面对大灰狼的袭击，前两只小猪的房子都被吹倒了，只有第三只小猪的砖头房子坚固无比，成功抵挡了大灰狼的进攻。
这个故事告诉我们，做事要脚踏实地，不能偷工减料，只有做好充分的准备，才能应对突如其来的困难。
2. The Tortoise and the Hare (龟兔赛跑)一只骄傲的兔子嘲笑一只慢吞吞的乌龟，决定和它比赛跑步。
比赛开始后，兔子一路领先，却在途中睡觉休息，而乌龟则坚持不懈地向前爬行。
最终，乌龟赢得了比赛。
这个故事告诉我们，不要轻视他人，要脚踏实地，坚持不懈，才能取得成功。
3. The Ugly Duckling (丑小鸭)一只丑陋的小鸭子在鸭群中受到排挤，但它并没有放弃，而是努力寻找自己的价值。
最终，它发现自己是一只美丽的天鹅。
这个故事告诉我们，每个人都有自己的优点和特长，要相信自己，不要轻易放弃。
4. The Little Mermaid (小美人鱼)5. The Princess and the Pea (豌豆公主)一位王子寻找真正的公主，遇到了一位自称是公主的女孩。
为了测试她是否真的是公主，王子在床垫下放了一颗豌豆，结果女孩整夜都睡不着觉。
这个故事告诉我们，真正的公主是娇贵的，只有真正娇贵的人才能感受到豌豆的存在。
6. Hansel and Gretel (汉塞尔和格雷特尔)一对兄妹被继母遗弃在森林里，他们遇到了一个吃人的巫婆，并住进了她的糖果屋。
兄妹俩凭借智慧和勇气，最终战胜了巫婆，逃出了森林。
这个故事告诉我们，要勇敢面对困难，相信自己的能力，才能战胜邪恶。
7. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (白雪公主和七个小矮人)美丽的白雪公主被邪恶的继母嫉妒，被赶出了王宫。
她遇到了七个小矮人，并和他们成为了朋友。
继母几次三番想要害死白雪公主，但最终都失败了。
英文童话故事大全【5篇】(最新)
1.英文童话故事：老人和老猫An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can’t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away.The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me because I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.”2.英文童话故事：找朋友Sam is a little fish. He lives in the sea. He is very lonely. He wants to have a friend. The friend looks like him. Sam sees an ink fish. The ink fish has eight legs. He doesn’t look like Sam. So Sam goes away. Sam meets a shark. He wants to say hello to the shark. The shark opens his big mouth. Sam runs away quickly. Sam is tired and hungry. He wants to have a rest. Then he sees a round fish. She says to him. “Hello! Would you like to be my friend?” Sam answers: “Of course! But you are sound. I am flat.” The round fish days: “But we are both fishes.”Sam thinks and says, “You are right. Let’s be friends.” They become good friends.3.英文童话故事：聪明的兔子The wolf and the fox want to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.One day the wolf says to the fox, "You go home and lie1 in bed. I'll tell the rabbit that you are dead2. When he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." That's a good idea," says the fox.The fox goes home at once. The wolf goes to the rabbit's house and knocked3 at the door. "Who is it?" asks the rabbit. "It's the wolf. I cometo tell you that the fox is dead." Then the wolf goes away.The rabbit goes to the fox's house. He looked in through the window and sees the foxlying4 in bed with his eyes closed5. He thinks, "Is the fox really dead or is hepretending6 to be dead? If he's not dead, he'll catch me when I go near him." so hesaid7, "The wolf says that the fox is dead. But he doesn't look like a dead fox. The mouth of a dead fox is always open." When the fox hears this, he thinks, "I'll show him that I'm dead." So he opened his mouth.The rabbit knows that the fox isn't dead, and he rans away quickly.4.英文童话故事：诺巴斯的葡萄园Once upon a time, there was a man named Naboth, who had a very nice vineyard. Heinherited1 the vineyard from his father, he got a lot of money from it.One day the king passed by the vineyard, he found the yard was so beautiful that he wanted to have it. So he went to Naboth and asked, "Would you sell the whole vineyard to me? I can pay you some money." "I'm very sorry. It is a heritage2 of my family, I can't give it to you at any price," said Naboth. The king told her the story. The queen said, "You forget you are the king! Let me teach you how get it. You can make Naboth an office, then find an excuse and sentence him to death." The king did what the queen said, Naboth died and the king got the vineyard.When God learned3 about this, he was very angry and said, "The king must be eaten by dogs, and the queen must be eaten by big birds. They are not good people, they take the things which are not theirs." At last, people found the king and the queen were dead when they went out for a picenic.5.英文童话故事：我的家I am in desperate need of help -- or Ill go crazy. Were living in a single room -- my wife, my children and my in-laws. So our nerves are on edge, we yell and scream at one another. The room is a hell.Do you promise to do whatever I tell you? said the Master gravely.I swear I shall do anything.Very well. How many animals do you have?A cow, a goat and six chickens.Take them all into the room with you. Then come back after a week.The disciple was appalled. But he had promised to obey! So he took the animals in. A week later he came back, a pitiable figure, moaning, Im a nervous wreck. The dirt! The stench! The noise! Were all on the verge of madness!Go back,said the Master, and put the animals out.The man ran all the way home. And came back the following day, his eyes sparkling with joy. How sweet life is! The animals are out. The home is a Paradise, so quiet and clean and roomy!。
30则英语经典幽默故事（一）
30则英语经典幽默故事（一）下面是店铺整理的30则英语经典幽默故事，希望大家喜欢!经典英语幽默故事1.During a baseball game, a woman kept shouting threats at the umpire.. No matter what happened on the field, she continually yelled, “Kill the umpire!” This went on for an hour. “Lady,” another fan called out, “ the umpire hasn’t done anything wrong.”“He’s my husband,” she replied, “ Last night he came home with lipstick on his collar. Kill the umpire!”经典英语幽默故事2.Frank, a friend of mine, often entertained clients at a local eatery, but he could never remember the name of the hostess, who always treated him wonderfully. One day, exasperated by his horrible recall, she said, “My name is Janet, and I’m from another planet,” hoping the mn emonics device would help him retain the information.The next time Frank went to the restaurant, he walked up to the hostess and told his guest, “ I want to introduce you to my friend Venus.”经典英语幽默故事3.At midnight, a judge was waken up, arrested and put into jail by a policeman. The next day, the head of the police head-quarters met with “ the prisoner”, set him free at once.It turned out that the judge wrote his own name when he signed the arresting list.经典英语幽默故事4.Suffering from students’ treading on the grassland, a wooden sign is set up beside it. It reads: “ Love the grass. Noroad No walking.”Several days later, the wooden sign disappeared without trace, another one replaced it, which reads: “There’s originally no road in the world, and a road is being formed with more and more people walking.”经典英语幽默故事5.As new students at a university in Boston, many of us were unfamiliar with the campus and consequently late for class. One professor, however, was particularly intolerant of tardiness, making it clear that no excuse would be acceptable. So when a student stumbled into his class one morning late, we expected the worst.Obvious upset, the professor demanded the reason for the student’s tardiness. “ I was waiting on line to buy your new textbook, “ sh e replied nervously. Gazing out at the rest of the class, the professor asked, “Well, why weren’t the rest of you late?”经典英语幽默故事6.A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.“ How old are these bones?” the tourist asked an elderly native American, who served as a guide.“Exactly one hundred million and three years old.”“ How can you be so sure?” inquired the tourist.“ Well,” replied the guide, “ a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.经典英语幽默故事7.A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn in the road. The farmer who lived nearby came to investigate. “ Hey,Willis, “ he called out, “ forget your trouble for a spell and co me on in and have dinner with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.”“ That’s mighty nice of you, “ Willis answered, “ but I don’t think Pa would like me to. ““ Aw, come on , son!” the farmer insisted.“ Well. Okay,” the boy finally agreed. “ But Pa won’t like it.”After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host, “ I feel a lot better now, but I just know Pa is going to be real upset.”“ Don’t be foolish!” exclaimed the neighbor, “ By the way, where is he?”“ Under the wagon.”经典英语幽默故事8.While coaching a group of five-and six-year-olds, learning to play soccer, I asked the kids what they should do when the referee blows his whistle. One boy, John answered, “ Stop and listen.” From the stands John’s mother yelled, “ Where can I get one of those whistles?”经典英语幽默故事9.My roommate was trying to convince her father she needed a sweat suit for jogging around campus. “ Why can’t you just run in your other clothes?” her father reasoned.“ You have to run in a sweat suit, “ she explained, “ otherwise no one knows you’re exercising---they just think you’re late!”经典英语幽默故事10.A student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: “ Mom-flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop.”Two days later he received a response: “ Pop prepared.Prepare yourself.”经典英语幽默故事11.“ I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class, “ observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses. “ when I say, ‘ Good morning,’ the undergraduates respond, ‘ Good morning,’ but the graduate students just write it down.经典英语幽默故事12.The philosophy finals in a college had many blank pages for the answer to one question: What is courage? Most of us wrote frantically, giving examples on theories. But one of my classmates turned in his essay with just two words on it –THIS IS. He received an A.经典英语幽默故事13.At the formal Sunday lunch at a university, the host at each table receives the food, passes it to the right and then serves himself last. One host soon found that a way to ensure that he received the biggest piece of dessert. Before passing the tray he would stick his finger in the piece he wanted and said, “ this one’s mine.”One day the students ganged up on him. As the dessert tray was passed around with the host’s finger mark in the piece of cake he desired, eac h student said, “ This one’s his,” and stuck another finger in it.经典英语幽默故事14.He used to sit on the front door step and whistle at every young woman that went by. “ Why do you let him get away with that? “ asked the woman next door.“ It’s no problem, “ said his wife. “ I’ve seen dogs chase cars, but they can’t drive. “经典英语幽默故事15.Chemistry teacher:” Robinson, give me the name of a liquid that won’t freeze.”R: “ Hot water, sir.”经典英语幽默故事16.A: What is the longest night of the year?B: A fortnight.经典英语幽默故事17.A: What is a net?B: Holes tied together with string.经典英语幽默故事18.A: Why does the conductor put a hole in your railway ticket?B: To let you pass through.经典英语幽默故事19.A little boy was saying his go-to-bed prayers in a very low voice.“ I can’t hear you, dear,” his mother said.“ Wasn’t talking to you. “ said the small one.经典英语幽默故事20.An insurance agent talking to a prospective client at her home pointed to an exquisite vase on the mantel. “ Do you keep anything in it?” he asked.“ Yes, my husband’s ashes.”“ I’m sorry,” apologized the agent, “ I didn’t know he was deceased.”“ He isn’t. He’s just too lazy to hunt for an ashtray.”经典英语幽默故事21.My wife and I got on a bus with our seven children to go sightseeing. When we reached our stop, I used my most commanding voice to speed the children off the bus, sayingsternly, “ Everybody off!”I had collected the last little one from the bus before I noticed that, with unquestioning obedience, all the other passengers had also left the bus, and the driver was going on his way with an empty bus.经典英语幽默故事22.Recently our college authorities require that all the students should wear their cards on the breast.Li M ing, a student, looks at his student’s card now and then. Feeling puzzled, one of his classmates asked, “ Why do you constantly look at your card? Are you proud of wearing it?”“ No,” Li answered, “ just because I’m always afraid of losing it.”经典英语幽默故事23.A boy saw many people in the street flock together looking at something one day. Curiously, he went there and wanted to see what had happened. There was a crowd and it’s difficult for him to get inside. Since the boy was quick-witted, a good idea suddenly occurred to him. He shouted to the crowd, “ The one killed is my father.” The crowd parted immediately and he got inside at once. However, to his great surprise, he found that lying in the center of the crowd was a dead donkey.经典英语幽默故事24.A: Why did the old lady throw the butter out of the window?B; Because she wanted to see butter fly.经典英语幽默故事25.T: Name the two pronouns.S: who? Me?经典英语幽默故事26.A: Today’s problems are all due to ignorance andindifference. Don’t you agree?B: Well, I don’t know. Besides, I don’t care.经典英语幽默故事27.A priest was walking down a street when he saw a little boy jumping up and down to try to reach a doorbell. So the priest walked over and pressed the button for the youngster. “ And now what, my little man?” he asked.“ Now, “said the boy, “ Run like hell.”经典英语幽默故事28.A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “ Don’t be angry,” the mother said. “ Your sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.” A short while later, there’s more crying, and the mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother said, “ Now she knows.”经典英语幽默故事29.A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “ I found a piece of paper in your pant pocket with the name ’Marylou’ written on it,” she said, furious. “ You had better have an explanation.”“ Calm down, honey, “ the man replied. “ Remember last week when I was at the races? That was the name of the horse I bet on.”The next morning his wife sneaked up and again whacked him. “ What was that for? “ he complained.“ Your horse called last night!”经典英语幽默故事30.Long a widower, my father-in-law was getting remarried. Before the service, the minister instructed him on the ritual,emphasizing the “repeat-after-me” vows. The ceremony proceeded smoothly until after the ring exchange when the minister, who had started to read the wrong passage, corrected himself. We heard my father-in-law obediently repeated aloud, “ Oh, my, I’ve gone wrong.”。