Unit 4 Marriage

Unit 4 MarriagePart APre-listening TaskQuestions for Discussion1.What do you think of marriage? Do you think a happy marriage is the most important thing inyour life?2.What kind of person do you want to marry? What are your standards in choosing a lifecompanion?3.What do you think is crucial for a happy marriage?4.What usually causes troubles in a marriage?5.Do you think differences between husband and wife are unavoidable? If you do, could yousuggest some ways for them to deal with the problem?6.Have you heard of marriage agreements? Do you think a couple should sign a marriageagreement before getting married?Demo:1. What do you think of marriage? Do you think a happy marriage is the most important thing in your life?In my opinion, a happy marriage is the most important thing in one’s life. Although it is relatively easy for many people to get married, it is really hard to have an ideal marriage for both men and women. When the honeymoon is over, many couples start to explore the real meaning of a happy marriage and become serious about their relationship. They tend to have unrealistic expectations, assuming their spouses can read their minds as to what they want and need. But real life is not a romantic fairy tale any more and they begin to disagree or argue with each other. If both the couple could resolve their disagreements, their marriage would be healthy and happy.Additional Question for DiscussionDo young men and young women have the same standards in choosing a spouse? If not, why not?Demo:I don’t think young men and young women have exactly the same standards in choosing a spouse. There’s a large number of studies showing what these standards are for men and women in different parts of the world. Generally speaking, when a woman chooses her spouse, she often puts emphasis on his character, temperament and education while a man would like his spouse to be young and beautiful. Y ou’ll find that the differences have a great deal to do with cultural traditions and social influence.Language FocusHere are some sentences and structures that you may find useful in discussing the above questions.Both men and women consider marriage a very important part of their lives.●Most men would like their spouses to be young and beautiful. Others consider inner beautymore important.●When a woman chooses her spouse, she often puts emphasis on his character / temperament /education / profession / income / appearance / family background.●Some young women today consider … of great importance in choosing a boyfriend / lifecompanion.●Happiness in marriage does not depend on material wealth.●Marriages based on mutual love create a happy and harmonious atmosphere in the family.●Mutual respect and understanding between husband and wife contribute much to a happymarriage.●Education is an important condition for a good marriage because a couple whose educationallevels do not match may not have much to say to each other / have constant arguments over family issues, big or small.● A marriage based on romantic love alone will not necessarily last long, for a sense ofresponsibility is also essential to a successful marriage.●I would marry someone who loves me and cares for me most.●I would marry someone who is generous / intelligent / ambitious / broad-minded / considerate/ good-looking / kind-hearted / humorous.●I wouldn’t like to marry someone who is too money-conscious / stingy / selfish /hot-tempered / narrow-minded / rude / impolite / possessive.●Each individual is unique and differences between husband and wife are thereforeunavoidable / a rule rather than an exception.●It’s very important for husband and wife to show appreciation of each other / talk and get toknow what his or her partner expects.● A marriage agreement sounds too practical / lacks romantic flavor / reduces marriage to merebusiness.●I think a written marriage agreement shows how much you and your partner are going torespect each other’s needs and expectations / promises a harmonious relationship in married life.●Trouble starts in a marriage when one partner keeps complaining about small things, makingthe other feel resentful.●Constantly criticizing your partner and his or her family gives rise to troubles in / maydestroy a marriage.●Lack of understanding / tolerance over differences may bring troubles to a marriage / cause amarriage to fail.Part BListening TasksConversation 1A Marriage Agreement (Part One)Word Bankoutline v. to describe briefly with few details 概述spouse n. a husband or wife 配偶pet a. denoting a thing that one feels particularly strongly about 格外的，极其的peeve n. sth. that annoys you 惹人生气的事物bug v. (American slang) to annoy, to irritate 激怒article n. a section of a legal agreement that deals with a particular point 协议的条款pet peeve sth. that you strongly dislike because it always annoys you 格外惹人生气的事Script:(Tom and Linda have signed a marriage agreement. Both agree not to break the rules outlined in the agreement. John, a reporter, is talking to them about the agreement.)John: T om, Linda, first I’d like to ask you why you decided to write this unusual agreement. Tom: We found that many problems are caused when a person has different expectations from his or her spouse. We wanted to talk about everything openly and honestly before we startedliving together.Linda: Also we both know how important it is to respect each other’s pet peeves. Like, I can get very annoyed if others leave stuff — clothing, papers, everything! — lying around on thefloor. It really bugged me, so we put that in the agreement.John: This is mentioned in Article 1: Cleaning Up, isn’t it? It says, “Nothing will be left on the floor overnight. Everything must be cleaned up and put away before going to bed.”Tom: Then I’ll know clearly what Linda’s expectations are.John: I see. What about Article 2: Sleeping? It says, “We will go to bed at 11 p.m. and get up at 6:30 a.m. except on weekends.” I’m sure some people hearing this will think that thisagreement isn’t very romantic.Tom: Well, we disagree. We think it’s very romantic. This agreement shows that we sat down and talked, and really tried to understand the other person. A lot of problems occur in a marriage when people don’t talk about what they want.Linda: That’s right. When we disagreed about something, we worked out a solution that was good for both of us. I would much rather have Tom really listen to me and understand my needs than give me a bunch of flowers or a box of candy.Language and Culture Notes1. Background informationA marriage agreement is sometimes written and signed by two people who plan to get married. The purpose of a marriage agreement varies. In the United States and some other countries, some marriage agreements are designed for divorce (especially for a second marriage) or to set c onditions for marriage so that the expense for a lawyer’s fee can be saved when troubles arise in a marriage. Some are designed for the benefit of the marriage: to facilitate the relationship between spouses so that a couple will start out together and stay together. The marriage agreement signed by Tom and Linda in the text is an exaggerated case of the second type.The topic area in a marriage agreement is decided by the couple’s purpose of signing the agreement, which may be to develop trust and togetherness, or to respect individual interests. The topics to be covered in a marriage agreement or contract in relation to these goals may be as follows: everyday routine, budgeting, credit cards, property, family obligations, child care, social obligations, travel, hobbies, attire.2. a person has different expectations from his or her spouseA spouse expects the other to act in a different way than the other is prepared to. As separate individuals, husband and wife do not necessarily think or act in the same way.3. a bunch of flowers or a box of candyThese are common gifts for women. “A bunch of” is used to talk about people or things that are alike and are viewed as a group. For example, we can also say a bunch of keys, a bunch of fruit / grapes, a bunch of people, a whole bunch of things.Exercise 1Listen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear.1. Which statement best summarizes the marriage agreement between Tom and Linda?a. It is a set of rules that will restrict their personal freedom to a certain extent.b. It is a set of rules that will enable them to live up to each other’s expectations.c. It is a set of rules that will prevent them from getting a divorce.d. It is a set of rules that will save their marriage.2. According to Tom, what will give rise to problems in a marriage?a. Different interests.b. Different pet peeves.c. Different expectations.d. Different sleeping habits.3. What can be inferred about Linda from the conversation?a. She is sensible and well-organized.b. She doesn’t like flowers or candy very much.c. She is too practical to be a good wife.d. She is quick-tempered and domineering.Exercise 2Listen to the conversation again and complete the answers to the following questions.1. Why did Tom and Linda decide to sign the agreement?Because they wanted to understand each other’s expectations so that potential problems could be avoided and they could live happily together.2. What is Article 1 about?Cleaning up. Everything must be cleaned up and put away before going to bed.3. What is Article 2 about?Sleeping. Time for bed: 11 p.m.; time to get up: 6:30 a.m. except on weekends.Conversation 2A Marriage Agreement (Part Two)Word Bankupdate v. to make sth. up-to-date 更新make it up to become friends again after a quarrel 争吵后和解figure out to work out the solution to a problem 想出Script:John: Linda, do you spend a lot of time checking to see if the other person is following the rules?Arguing?Linda: No, not at all.Tom: A lot of couples argue because they don’t understand each other’s expectations. I think we spend less time arguing than most couples because we both know what the other personexpects.John: What happens if one of you breaks a rule?Tom: Well, that’s in Article 13 of our agreement.John: Is it? Oh yes, Article 13: Breaking Rules. “If you break a rule, you must apologize and do something nice for the other person to make it up.”Linda: Yeah, like last time Tom broke the rule of driving.John: What’s the r ule?Linda: The rule is we must ask for directions if we are driving and get lost for more than five minutes.John: What happened?Tom: We were driving to a friend’s wedding, and we got lost. Linda wanted to stop at a gas station to ask for directions, but I thought I could figure it out.Linda: Then we drove forty miles in the wrong direction and ended up being late for the wedding. Tom: So I took her out to dinner. I knew what I should do to apologize.John: That’s very important, I think, knowing how to apologize. By the way, do you plan to update your agreement at all? What if things change in your life and a rule doesn’t work anymore?Linda: We’ve thought about that too. Article 14 states that we must review this agreement once a year and make necessary changes.John: Well, it was really nice talking to you both. Thank you very much for your time.Tom & Linda: Thank you.Language and Culture Notes1. stop at a gas station to ask for directionsGas stations can be found on roads and highways. They are usually the best place to ask for directions.2. drove forty miles in the wrong directionPossibly the couple was driving on a highway. Once you miss an exit, it will be very difficult for you to get back to the right direction. You have to drive on and on until you see the sign where you can turn back.Exercise 1Listen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear.1. How many articles are probably in Tom and Linda’s marriage agreement?a. 12.b. 13.c. 14.d. 15.2. How do Tom and Linda feel about their marriage agreement?a. Linda is not very happy with some of the articles in the agreement.b. Tom thinks some of the articles in the agreement are too strict.c. Both Tom and Linda are satisfied with it.d. Both Tom and Linda are not satisfied with it and they want to make a lot of changes to it.3. What will happen to their marriage agreement in a year’s time?a. They will review the articles and make changes to update them.b. They will sit down and write out a new agreement.c. They will not make any changes to the agreement.d. They will not need it anymore, as they are both familiar with its contents.Exercise 2Listen to the conversation again and complete the answers to the following questions.1.What is stated in the rule of driving?It is stated that if they get lost for more than five minutes when they are driving, they must stop and ask for directions.2. What is Article 13 about? What does it say?Article 13 is about breaking rules. The article says, “If you break a rule, you must apologize and do something nice for the other person to make it up.”3. What is Article 14 about? What is stated in the agreement?It is about reviewing the contents of the agreement. It states that they must review this agreement once a year and make necessary changes.Speaking TasksPair WorkDebating — Arguments for or against giving first priority to economic status in choosing aspouseA SampleNowadays, some young people give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse. Are you for or against this standard in choosing a spouse? Express and defend your views from the perspectives given in the card below.Topic: Is it right to give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse? Perspectives:1. From the perspective of a student (positive)2. From the perspective of a social worker (negative)Possible Arguments (for reference)From the perspective of a student (positive)I think it is very natural for people to give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse. We all know how important money is. Without money, we can hardly do anything. Lack of money in a marriage will cause problems to the couple. Even though the couple may havemarried for love, being always hard-pressed for money, love will soon be replaced by quarrels and endless worries over money matters. If this happens, can they live happily together? So I think it is very important to first consider if your future spouse is able to share the responsibility of supporting a family. If not, just wait.From the perspective of a social worker (negative)Nowadays, some young people consider economic status the most important factor when they choose a spouse. They think money can bring everything they want, like a big apartment, a car, or a trip abroad. However, can these material things really ensure happiness? I don’t think so.A marriage based solely on material wealth will not necessarily be a happy one. Countless examples have shown that rich people often have unsuccessful marriages. A happy marriage is built on a deep love and affection between husband and wife, which cannot be bought by money.Now use the above sample as your model and carry on similar activities with your partner.Topic: Is it right to give first priority to a university degree in choosing a spouse? Perspectives:1. From the perspective of some students (positive)2. From the perspective of some other students (negative)Some Ideas for ReferenceThe Argument (positive)1. A university degree is the first thing I’d consider when I choose my life companion. I thinktwo people with very different educational backgrounds would have problems incommunication.2. A person with a university degree has been exposed to a wide range of knowledge / iswell-educated.3.What great pleasure it is to spend your life with someone who can share your enjoyment ofmusic, art and literature, or discuss with you all sorts of subjects from the beauty of nature to aliens in outer space / new advances in science and technology.4. A well-educated person tends to be more cultured, and more understanding, which will ensurehappiness in a marriage.5. A well-educated person is more likely to have a good career.6. A university degree is almost a must in the competitive job market nowadays. Therefore agood educational background is key to a successful career, which will bring harmony and security to family life.The Counter-argument (negative)1.I don’t think a university degree is so important in choosing one’s life companion. Personalityis the first thing I would take into consideration when I choose a spouse.2.To my mind, affection, honesty, generosity, kindness, sympathy, and courage are the qualitiesI value more.3.I think a person’s moral virtue is very important and it is not decided by the amount of schooleducation he or she has received.4. A university degree does not necessarily bring happiness to a marriage. Mutual affection andunderstanding are key to a happy marriage.5. A person with a university degree is not necessarily well-educated. It depends on how mucheffort she or he made while at college.6.I believe in love / love at first sight. I’d like to marry the person I love, and together we canpursue the dreams of our life.7.I don’t think a university degree can ensure success in a career. Experience is sometimes moreimportant than formal education. As a matter of fact, many entrepreneurs in China haven’t even received secondary education. Their success actually relies on their unusual personality and opportunities available.Part CTest Your ListeningA ConversationListen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear.1.Which of the following is true of the woman’s husband?a.He doesn’t share housework at home.b.He doesn’t know how to put things in order.c.He doesn’t care f or his wife and children.d.He’s lazy and rude.2.What do you know about the woman?a.She’s just got a job.b.She earns a lot of money.c.She does most of the housework at home.d.She has bad relations with her husband.3.What does the man think of the woman’s complaint s?a.He thinks the woman’s husband is lazy and messy.b.He doesn’t want to pass judgment on the woman’s husband.c.He thinks the woman complains too much.d.He thinks the woman should ask her husband to share the housework.Script:M: Ah, come in, Barbara. Take a seat. How have things been?W: Oh, much the same. I still seem to have quarrels with my husband all the time.M: What do you quarrel about?W: Oh, everything. You see, he never thinks of my feelings.M: Go on.W: Well, I’ll give you an example. You know, when the children started school, I wanted to go back to work again, too. So I got a job. Well anyway, by the time I’ve collected Gary and Lucy from school, I only get home about half an hour before he comes back …M: Yes?W: Well, when he gets home, he expects me to run around and get his tea. He never does anything in the house.M: Mm.W: And last Friday he invited three of his friends to come around for a drink. He didn’t tell me to expect them, and I’d had a long and difficult day. I don’t think that’s right, do you?M: Well, I’m not here to pass judgment. I’m here to listen.W: Sorry. And he’s so untidy. He’s worse than the kids. I always have to remind him to pick up his clothes. He just throws his clothes on the floor. After all, I’m not his servant. I’ve got my own career. Actually, I think that’s part of the trouble. You see I earn as much money as he does.Part DTime to TalkLook at these pictures and describe them one by one. If possible, try also to find something relevant to talk about.Hints:1. a newly-wed couple, bridegroom (新郎) and bride (新娘), look very happy, the tradition isthat, the bride in white and the bridegroom in black suit, a big cake with three layers, a knife in the woman’s hand, ready to cut the cake2.cartoon, a priest performs a marriage ceremony, read out the duties for the bride, surprise, popher eyes, on the other hand, bridegroom is smiling, in content (满意)3.take a walk, on the country road, push a baby cart, smile happily, walking a dog, a sunny day,have sunglasses, a picture of happy married life, enjoy the beauty of natureDemo:1.The picture shows a newly-wed couple. Both the bridegroom and the bride look veryhappy. In the west, the tradition is that the bride should be in white and the bridegroom in black su it. We also see a big cake with three layers on a table and a knife in the woman’s hand. The man holds the woman’s hand and ready to cut the cake.2.This is a cartoon showing a priest performing a marriage ceremony to a young couple.But look at what he’s reading! He lists what the wife should and should not do, leaving the bride popping her eyes in surprise. The bridegroom, on the other hand, is smiling with his eyes closed in content. I’m not sure what the cartoon is intended to mean. Maybe it is a criticism of the society, in which women are supposed to always serve men.3.This picture shows a family taking a walk on a country road. The wife with a smile onher face is pushing a baby cart. Her baby is perhaps sleeping and the husband is walking a do g. It’s a sunny day, as both the man and the woman are wearing sunglasses. This is a perfect image of a happy married life. A kid and a dog, and the family together, walking on a country road, they are enjoying the fresh air and the beauty of nature.Movie TimeWord Bankask sb. out 约会某人curator n.博物馆管理员cause n.事业bummer n.令人不愉快的事件righteous a.正直的No problemo. （俚语）等同于No problem.Script:- So, er ... Eckle, do ... do you think your sister’s home?- Why?- I thought maybe ... I thought I might tell her I got the job.- Why?- Forget it. You tell her for me. Okay?- Okay, but every time you tell me to tell her something, she asks why don’t you just tell her yourself?- What?- And then my mom says it’s because you like her, and then she says tha t, “Oh, that’s so cute,” and why don’t you just ask her out already,’cause she’s been waiting for you to ask her out ever since we moved next door to you.- She has? The girl of my dreams likes me? This is the best day of my life.- Yeah, we got to see that kid throw up.- Hey, he did it! He got the job!- We’re so proud of you.- I hear it’s just one easy step up to Senior Assistant Curator.- Come on, soldier. Take that hill.- Hey, Neera.- Hey, Lem.- I wanted to tell you, I got the job.- Lem, that’s great!- Maybe it’s time that you and me ...- Yes?- I mean, would you want to ...- Hey, Neera! I’ve been looking all over for you.- You’ve been looking for me?- The cause needs you.- The what?- The cause. Glar’s involved with something he calls “protesting.”It’s like when you shout about stuff that makes you upset.- Yeah, like our school pictures. Why do they have to be of our faces? I mean, what a bummer. That means it’s not good. Neera, we need you! Righteous momma!- I’m so honored, but Lem was about to ask me something.- Yeah? Man, what do you want to ask her?- It’s kind of private.- No problemo, man! I mean, I totally respect that.- So, Neera ...- “Neera and Lem had a private conversation. And don’t want anybody else aroun d.”- Yeah, you know, we can talk later.- Okay.- Peace. That means, “See you later.”- Bye!- Bye.Exercise1. What did the young boy tell Lem?a. He told Lem that his sister didn’t like him.b. He told Lem to keep away from his sister.c. He said that his sister liked Lem.d. He said that his sister was waiting for her boyfriend.2. What had Lem probably done before talking to the young boy?a. Lem had just finished a job interview.b. Lem had just come back from work.c. Lem had just done the shopping.d. Lem has just planned his new cause.3. What was Lem about to tell Neera?a. Lem planned to ask Neera to find a job for him.b. Lem intended to ask Neera to help his cause.c. Lem was about to ask Neera out.d. Lem was going to help Neera with housework.。