雅思作文6分标准作文

Every year several languages die out. Some peoplethink that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewerlanguages in the world.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with thisopinion?

Languages arecomplicated and charming, representing the unique culture of some regionand country[c1] . Every year see[c2] several languages dying out, yet we can not [c3] define that a bad thing.

Let’s [c4] begin with thinking [c5] the meaning of a language. Language [c6] should provide people with the function ofdaily use. When a certain language dies out, we are sure that people who usedto use it must have found an alternative useful language. It is wise to abandona useless tool. As long as they can finish communication

task[c7] successfully, it does not matter even ifit directly leads to a language dying out. People have no reason to protect anendangered language merely for the diversity’s sake. [c8] Namely, if some [c9]

language is useful, it will never fadeaway.Therefore, thedying out process is part of the nature’s choices.

There are so manyadvantages of fewer languages. First is valid understanding between countries.It is a peace start to share some language, from which people in both countrieswill communicate more effectively so confusion will vanish. Besides, increasingtravel and business cooperation will take place. As they [c10] sharethe language and different culture, more people will be willing to travelthere. Both sides’ companies can communicate more easily, more resources willbe shared. Fewer languages will help benefit economy in way of commerce andtourism industry.

By way of conclusion, I want to reaffirm myposition. Although we hate to see some languages dying out, we should cheer forthe advantages it brought to the world.

注释：

[c1]Some regions and countries，前面languages 用了复数后面要记得统一。[c2]Sees

[c3]cannot

[c4]注意文章是议论文不是演讲稿，用let’s 这不合适

[c5]thinking about

[c6]A language. 你上句话刚写了 the meaning of a language, 后面要记得对应。[c7]Tasks

[c8]这句话差连接词和前面一句接起来

[c9]a，泛指的时候建议用a, some 容易引起歧义

[c10]They 指的是谁？

评分详情：

Total：(5.5+5.5+6+6.5)/4=6

Task response 5.5 分

1. present a clearposition

第一段已经明确提出立场

2. main ideas maybe unclear

由于衔接上的问题，第二段的论证有些混乱。

第三段第二个点不太明白你的意思是什么。你的点是increasing travel and business cooperationwill take place. 更多的人会出去旅游，同时商业合作也会增长？如果是的话，这个点里面是两个分点还是一个点？另外这句Both sides’ companies can communicate moreeasily, more resources will be shared. 交流的多，更多的资源就会被分享，你说的是什么样的资源？能举个例子吗？

Coherence and cohesion 5.5 分

1. present ideaswith some organization but may be lack of overall progression

2. under-use ofcohesive devices.

这两个问题在第二段里面特别明显。