英语笑话、N多乐趣
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
笑抽了快!刚出国英语还不太好时闹出的N多笑话(1)
笑抽了快！刚出国英语还不太好时闹出的N 多笑话（1）刚出国英文不太好，小伙伴们时常囧死在语言障碍和文化差异的探索之路上…… 虽然闹出了不少笑话，但也留下了美好的回忆，分享出来让大家一起笑抽吧！1. 去Burger King要番茄酱！不晓得当时是被啥未知不明物体击中脑干！冒了句："Check up!"（番茄酱的英文应该是：ketchup）对方表情像是遇到了外星人！要我重复一遍！我还相当坚定的重复我要Check up！！！从此就不去Burger King了！2. 第一次去上课，没睡醒，搞不清状况，进了一个教室，课桌是椅子连着桌子的，老师统称课桌为table，给学生安排座位会说："You can sit on that table. " 然后我就当着全班的面，坐到了桌面上……3. 刚来美国时跟一个女生去银行开户，一个银行职员很亲切地走上前来，还没开口说话，就听那女生说"May I help you?" 职员当时就石化。
我就在后面拉她衣服，她侧头跟我说，“别捣乱，别捣乱。
” 然后又对人家说了一次"May I Help You?"4. 来美国的第二天去星巴克，看到Mocha（摩卡）直接开心地认为是抹茶…… 拿到手里一杯摩卡之后心想汉语拼音不管用啊！5. 某某老公刚来的时候英语很不好，坐车的时候不小心踩了一位女士的脚，结果他想躲开时不小心又踩了那女的另一只脚…… 然后人家就瞪着他，他想说"I'm sorry"结果一着急就特别大声地说成了"It's OK."然后这位女士也特别大声地回他一句："IT’S NOT OK！！" 全车人都疯了……6. 刚来美国第一天, 搬完东西刚好遇到老美室友回来了，当时大汗淋漓，打完招呼我就说了一句"I'm so hot" ... 说完感觉怪怪的…… （能不怪么？第一天见面就说自己火辣！英文里hot可以用来说人“性感”、“火辣”。
有趣的英文笑话
有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中，适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话，能够很好地放松我们生活的压力，下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话，希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1：A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。
“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。
”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
有趣的英文笑话2：On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上，我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】
英语笑话简短【英语笑话】篇一：英文幽默笑话1.猫和老鼠——Mrs Brown went tovisit one of her friend andcarried a small box withholes punched in the top.——“ What's in yourbox?" asked the friend.——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。
“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。
这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。
”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。
”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。
”布朗夫人小声说道。
2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸A guy I know wastowing his boat homefrom a fishing trip to LakeHuron when his car brokedown. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be abletoraise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。
简单幽默英语小笑话 (细选3篇)
简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里，因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳，因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。
十个英语笑话爆笑超短
十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
英语小幽默笑话
英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天，小明走进教室，发现黑板上写着一行字：“I'm very good!（我很好！）”于是他皱了皱眉，拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字：“I'm good too, thank you!（我也很好，谢谢！）”当小明坐下时，他才发现旁边的黑板上写着：“I'm a blackboard!（我是一个黑板！）”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。
他走到狮子旁边，然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。
突然，狮子怒吼一声，跳到笼子外面。
John 吓得立刻跑了起来。
然而，狮子并没有追赶他，反而开始用爪子挖土，好像在等待什么。
John 一边跑一边回头看，这时突然明白过来，原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土，这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。
三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适，于是他去了医院。
医生给将军把脉后说：“将军，您需要多休息，少工作。
”将军愤怒地说：“我是将军，我必须站在最前线，为国家效力！”医生点点头，继续说道：“我明白了，将军。
那么我们就把床移到最前线吧！”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人，一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。
当他们来到一个孤岛时，他们被困在那里了。
他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。
一个月后，美国人挨饿了，但看到了一点希望。
他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。
几天后，一架直升飞机来把他救走了。
两个月后，英国人饿得快死了，但他坚信救援一定会来。
于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。
几天后，一个军舰把他救了起来。
而中国人一直没有食物，他只好靠椰子充饥。
六个月后，他终于爬到了岛的最高峰，大喊一声：“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人！”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅，服务员领他坐下，然后递给他菜单。
一会儿，服务员走过来问：“先生，您想点什么？”顾客犹豫了一下，然后说道：“给我请一个有人性的厨师。
”服务员笑笑，离开了。
等了一会儿，服务员回来了，手上端着一个镜子。
他把镜子递给顾客说：“先生，这是我们厨师的倒影。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短_英语笑话大全短篇
短篇英语笑话篇一史密斯是一家建设公司的经理，他正负责一个新工程的招标案。
第一位投标的是一家波兰公司，他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。
“似乎很合理，”史密斯说。
“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?”"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "“当然没问题，”波兰公司代表说道，“二十万元工资，二十万元材科费。
”下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司，他们以八十万元竞标。
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"“嗯，这个价钱似乎有些偏高，”史密斯说道。
"你们有明细表吗?"" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "“四十万元材料，四十万元工资。
”"I'll get back to you. "Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."最后可翰•高斯坦•雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。
“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码，”代表说道。
$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?"“一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?""No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400，000 for thePolacks.“没有问题，”代表回答道。
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教你说地道的英语笑话第一章幽默小火花Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa.钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡.One should love animals. They are so tasty.每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃.Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道.Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.每个成功男人的背后都有一个女人，每个不成功男人的背后都有两个女人?Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛.The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来.Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）.Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口, 今天就要找好.Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养.Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.后排座位上的小孩会生出意外, 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩."Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep."现在的梦想决定着你的将来",所以还是再睡一会吧.There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来."Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? "努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明."Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看着别人工作.God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
When two‘s company, three‘s the result!两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是!A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动，但并不妨碍你尽情地观看.The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多；忘记的越多, 忘记的越多；知道的越少, 为什么学来着?!第二章爱情中的幽默She was his secretary before they got married. Now she's his treasurer.在他们结婚之前她是他的秘书，现在她是他的"出纳"。
My wife and I have an agreement that we never go to sleep angry with each other. We've been awake now for nearly 6 months. 。
我和我妻子达成了一个协议：绝不在和对方生气的情况下去睡觉。
结果我们已经6个月没睡觉了My wife always lets me have the last word. It's usually, 'Yes.'我妻子总是让我最后拿主意。
我总是说：是。
A husband is a man with lots of small mouths to feed and one big one to listen to.所谓丈夫就是要喂许多张小嘴吃饭还要听一张大嘴说话的男人。
He's a bachelor by choice. Sometimes his own, but mostly the choice of the women he's dated.他之所以单身事出有因。
有时那是他自己选择，而绝大多数时候则是那些他所约会的女人的选择。
Whenever I meet a man who would make a good husband, he already is.每当我遇到一个我觉得会是个好丈夫的男人时，他都已经是了。
The only person who's asked her to get married is her mother.唯一想叫她结婚的人就是她母亲。
I think- therefore I'm single.我思考--所以我单身A wallflower is a man whose phone doesn't ring- even when he's in the bath.所谓局外人就是那些电话从不响的男人--即使当他们在洗澡的时候。
10A bachelor is a man who never chases a woman he can't outrun.单身汉就是那些决不追赶那些他们无法追上的女人的男人。
11The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.婚前的日子相对于婚姻来说就像是一本冗长乏味的书的一段短小精悍的序言。
12One should always be in love-that is one reason why one should never marry.人们应该永远沉浸在爱之中--这就是人们应该永远不要结婚的理由之一。
13Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit of it.结婚是件好事，可我认为如果把它当作一种习惯就不好了。
14It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.如果每天都对着同一个人和蔼可亲会使人的神经崩溃的。
15What did you do before you married? -Anything I wanted to!你结婚之前都干什么了？--我喜欢干的所有事！16The truth is, I regret the day I was married. -You're lucky. I was married for a whole month!事实上，我对我结婚的那天真感到后悔。
--你很幸运！我的婚礼持续了整整一个月。
17Did your wife have anything to say when you got home late last night? -No, but it didn't stop her talking for hours.昨晚你回家晚了时你妻子对你说什么了吗？--没，但这并不妨碍她连说几个小时一直没停嘴。
18You know the honeymoon's over when the groom stops helping his wife with the dishes- and starts doing them himself!你知道吗，新郎不帮妻子刷碗而开始自己刷碗的时候就意味着蜜月结束了。
19There's only one thing that keeps me from being happily married- my wife.唯一让我的婚姻得不到幸福的就是--我妻子。
20Marriage is just another union that defies management.婚姻就是一个反抗管理的联盟。
恋爱中的人1Love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end.爱就像一场战争，开战容易停火难。
2Love opens your chest and opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.爱扒开你的胸膛，掏出你的心脏，有人就乘机侵入你的心胸把你搞得一团糟。
3Does God punish or reward us with love?爱，是上帝用来惩罚我们的还是奖赏我们的呢？4Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.爱你的邻家女孩吧，但注意不要被逮着了。
5I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation.我喜爱这样的一只手，它的力度让我有几分感觉的手。
6The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.珍爱一切的好办法是：意识到你可能会失去它。