Sentence Variety

Sentence VarietyAdding sentence variety to prose can give it life and rhythm. Too many sentences with the same structure and length can grow monotonous for readers. Varying sentence style and structure can also reduce repetition and add emphasis. Consequently, good writing has a mixture of:●varied sentence lengths●varied sentence structuresSentence TypesStructurally, English sentences can be classified four different ways, though there are endless constructions of each. The classifications are based on the number of independent and dependent clauses a sentence contains. An independent clause forms a complete sentence on its own, while a dependent clause needs another clause to make a complete sentence. By learning these types, writers can add complexity and variation to their sentences.Simple sentence: A sentence with one independent clause and no dependent clauses.∙My aunt enjoyed taking the hayride with you.∙China's Han Dynasty marked an official recognition ofConfucianism.Compound Sentence: A sentence with multiple independent clausesbut no dependent clauses.∙The clown frightened the little girl, and she ran off screaming.∙The Freedom Riders departed on May 4, 1961, and they were determined to travel through many southern states.Complex Sentence: A sentence with one independent clause and at least one dependent clause.∙After Mary added up all the sales, she discovered that the lemonade stand was 32 cents short∙While all of his paintings are fascinating, Hieronymus Bosch's triptychs, full of mayhem and madness, are the real highlight of hisart.Complex-Compound Sentence: A sentence with multiple independent clauses and at least one dependent clause.Catch-22 is widely regarded as Joseph Heller's best novel, and because Heller served in World War II, which the novel satirizes, the zany but savage wit of the novel packs an extra punch.Vary Sentence LengthsThis sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones.It's like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals—sounds that say listen to this, it is important.So write with a combination of short, medium, and long sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader's ear. Don't just write words. Write music. One short sentence after another makes your prose sound choppy, childish, or like a bad imitation of Hemingway:Example:The new governor was sworn in today. He is a Democrat. Tenthousand people attended the ceremony. The governor gave a briefinaugural address. The governor promised to end unemployment. He said he would reduce inflation. He also promised to improve theenvironment. The audience gave him a standing ovation. Revision:The new Democratic governor was sworn in today. At a ceremony10,000 people attended, he gave a brief inaugural address, promising to end unemployment, reduce inflation, and improve the environment.The audience gave him a standing ovation.Conversely(相反地), all "long" sentences can make your writing hard to read.Example:The company reported that yearly profit growth, which had steadilyincreased by more than 7% since 1989, had stabilized in 2009, and in 2010, the year they launched the OWN project, actually decreasedfrom the previous year by 2%. This announcement stunned Wall Street analysts, but with the overall decrease in similar company profitgrowth worldwide, as reported by Author (Year) in his articledetailing the company’s history, the company’s announcement aligns with industry trends and future industry predictions.Revision:The company reported that profit growth stabilized in 2009, though it had steadily increased by more than 7% since 1989. In 2010, the year they launch the OWN project, company profit growth decreased from the previous year. This announcement stunned Wall Street analysts.According to Author (Year), however, this decrease is exemplar of a trend across similar company profit growth worldwide; it alsosupports future predictions for the industry.Example:Whether the terrorists style themselves as separatists, anarchists,dissidents, nationalists, Marxist revolutionaries, or religious truebelievers, what marks them as terrorists is that they direct theirviolence against noncombatants with the goal of terrorizing a wideraudience than the immediate victims, thereby attempting to gainpolitical influence over the larger audience. In one variant of terrorism,organizational terrorism, represented by such groups as the Red ArmyFaction in Germany, the Red Brigades in Italy, Direct Action in France, and 17 November in Greece, small, tightly knit, politicallyhomogeneous organizations that are incapable of developing popularsupport for their radical positions resort to terrorism to gain influence.In a second variant of terrorism, that conducted within the context ofethnic separatist or countrywide insurgencies, such as in thePhilippines, El Salvador, and Colombia, groups conductingparamilitary or guerrilla operations against the established governmentturn to attacks on the populace at large to undermine the government’scredibility, legitimacy, and public support.However, using all "medium"-length sentences doesn't work, either.Sentences that are all about the same length (and often follow the samegrammatical pattern) create monotony（n. 单调；千篇一律）.Example:Many really good blues guitarists have all had the last name King.They have been named Freddie King and Albert King and B.B. King.The name King must make a bluesman a really good bluesman. Thebluesmen named King have all been very talented and good guitarplayers. The claim that a name can make a guitarist good may not bethat far-fetched.Revision:What makes a good bluesman? Maybe, just maybe, it's all in a stately name. B.B. King. Freddie King. Albert King. It's no coincidence that they're the royalty of their genre. When their fingers dance like courtjesters, their guitars gleam like scepters, and their voices bellow likeregal trumpets, they seem almost like nobility. Hearing their music is like walking into the throne room. They really are kings.A longer sentence, such as the one I'm creating here, serves to offer more details, to focus in, to probe an idea more thoroughly or— perhaps—to present a powerful description. A short sentence gets to the point. So, vary the rhythm by alternating short and long sentencesOur senator maintains two elaborate houses, one in our state and one in Washington. Although I understand the reasons for having twohomes, owning two $300,000 residences seems needlessly extravagant.In short, I disapprove.Example:The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to findsome native American art. In Anchorage stores they found someexcellent examples of soapstone carvings. But they couldn't find adealer selling any of the woven wall hangings they wanted. They were very disappointed when they left Anchorage empty-handed. Revision:The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to findsome native American art, such as soapstone carvings and wallhangings. Anchorage stores had many soapstone items available. Still, they were disappointed to learn that wall hangings, which they hadespecially wanted, were difficult to find. Sadly, they leftempty-handed.A complete example:I was thinking one day. I thought of something the world hadn’t seenlately. My thought was of an adventurous man. The man was on awalking trip through Europe. I thought some more. Then I decided thatI should take such a trip. I should give the world something to watch.So I determined to do it. This was in March 1878.One day it occurred to me that it had been many years since the world had been afforded the spectacle of a man adventurous enough toundertake a journey through Europe on foot, so after much thought, I decided that I was a person fitted to furnish to mankind this spectacle, and it was in March 1878 that I decided I was determined to do it.One day it occurred to me that it had been many years since the world had been afforded the spectacle of a man adventurous enough toundertake a journey through Europe on foot. After much thought, Idecided that I was a person fitted to furnish to mankind this spectacle.So I determined to do it. This was in March, 1878.To analyze your own writing, you first need to find out your ANW/S (average number of words per sentence; ... I just made that term up :).1) Take an essay that represents your normal writing (e.g., one with a great deal of dialogue or an unusual amount of description could skew the results) and mark off twenty sentences.2) Count the number of words in each sentence and then add those totals to get a grandtotal.3) Divide the grandtotal by 20. Your result will be the average number of words per sentence.In general—and this type of analysis is very tenuous—an average sentence length below 14 words per sentence may indicate that you use too many short sentences and you need to learn how to combine and/or subordinate ideas. If your average sentence length is well above 22 words a sentence, you may be piling too much freight on your sentences and have a prose style that is dense and tangled. If your average word length falls between14 and 22, you need to look at your sentences to see if there is some variety or if they are all about the same length.Should you decide your sentences are just spiffy the way they are, don't get too smug. Hearing the "rhythm" of your sentences, knowing when to use a longer sentence or a shorter one, and knowing when to vary the pattern of a sentence is a "work-in-progress" for most of us. Effective sentence style doesn't just happen. It takes work.Vary Sentence StructuresIf too many sentences start with the same word, especially The, It, This, or I, prose can grow tedious for readers, so changing opening words and phrases can be refreshing. Below are alternative openings for a fairly standard sentence. Notice that different beginnings can alter not only the structure but also the emphasis of the sentence. They may also require rephrasing in sentences before or after this one, meaning that one change could lead to an abundance of sentence variety.Superior writing can be achieved by using single word adjectives or adverbs, prepositional phrases, participial phrases, infinitive phrases, or clauses in the beginning position. Notice how some variety imposes the sentences in the original paragraph below.I walked into the room. The patient looked up at me. I greeted himwith a smile. His eyes brightened.Most people, however, would write something like the following without realizing their error:Having entered the room, I saw the patient look up at me. Sensing his discomfort, I tried to ease his concerns by greeting him with a smile.Appreciating my gesture, he responded with glowing eyes.Every sentence starts with a present participle (a verb + "ing" adjective), states the subject, and gives the predicate. The following is a revision:I saw the patient look up as I entered the room. Sensing his discomfort,I tried to ease his concerns by greeting him with a smile. Although hisbrightening eyes showed that he appreciated my gesture, painprevented him from responding any further.Example:Revision:Example:The biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl.Possible Revisions:∙Coincidentally, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.∙In an amazing coincidence, David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl.∙Sitting next to David at the Super Bowl was a tremendous coincidence.∙But the biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl.∙When I sat down at the Super Bowl, I realized that, by sheer coincidence, I was directly next to David.∙By sheer coincidence, I ended up sitting directly next to David at the Super Bowl.∙With over 50,000 fans at the Super Bowl, it took an incredible coincidence for me to end up sitting right next to David.∙What are the odds that I would have ended up sitting right next to David at the Super Bowl?∙David and I, without any prior planning, ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.∙Without any prior planning, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.∙At the crowded Super Bowl, packed with 50,000 screaming fans, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other by sheercoincidence.∙Though I hadn't made any advance arrangements with David, we ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.∙Many amazing coincidences occurred that day, but nothing topped sitting right next to David at the Super Bowl.∙Unbelievable, I know, but David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.Guided by some bizarre coincidence, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.Example:The house is located between a beach and the main street of the town.The beach lies to the south, and the main street runs along the north.The main street is heavily traveled and often noisy, but the beach isusually secluded and peaceful. It was Sunday afternoon, and we were on the beach. We lay stretched out on the sand, and enjoyed thesunshine.Revision:The house is located between a beach and the main street of the town.Heavily traveled and often noisy, the main street runs along the north.Usually deserted and peaceful, the beach lies to the south. On Sunday afternoon we lay there stretched out on the sand enjoying thesunshine.Example:My philosophy of education is derived from my personal experiences.I have been an educator for 4 years, and I have learned a lot from moreexperienced teachers in my district. I also work mainly with students from a low socioeconomic background; my background was quitedifferent. I will discuss how all of these elements, along with scholarly texts, have impacted my educational philosophy.Revision:My philosophy of education is derived from my personal experiences.Having been an educator for 4 years, I have learned a lot from moreexperienced teachers in my district. I also work mainly with students from a low socioeconomic background that is quite different frommine. In this paper, I will discuss how all of these elements, along with scholarly texts, have impacted my educational philosophy.A Technical Example:In her article, Author (Year) noted that the participants did not see a change in symptoms after the treatment. Even during the treatment,Author observed no change in the statements from the participantsregarding their symptoms. Based on these findings, I will not use this article for my final project. Because my project will rely on articles that note symptom improvement, Author’s work is not applicable.Notice how the writer relies solely on complex sentences in this paragraph, even placing dependent clauses at the beginning of each sentence. Here is an example of merely adjusting the placement of these dependent clauses but not the sentence type:In her article, Author (Year) noted that the participants did not see a change in symptoms after the treatment. Author observed, even during treatment, no change in the statements from the participants regarding their symptoms. I will not use this article for my final project based on these findings. Because my project will rely on articles that notesymptom improvement, Author’s work is not applicable.While this change in the placement of dependent clauses does avoid a repetitive rhythm to the paragraph, try combining sentences or using conjunctions to create compound or compound-complex sentences to vary sentence type:In her article, Author (Year) noted that the participants did not see achange in symptoms after the treatment. Author observed, even during treatment, no change in the statements from the participants regarding their symptoms, and based on these findings, I will not use this article for my final project. Because my project will rely on articles that note symptom improvement, Author’s work is not applicable.Fix "Short" SentencesSentence combining and subordination are two methods to fixshort-sentence-itis. Sentence combining is just what it sounds like. Often, a series of short sentences can be combined into a longer, more effective sentence.Sentence combiningFor example, consider the following paragraph (this is taken from Writing with a Purpose by Joseph Trimmer):Last weekend I saw a science fiction film. Three friends went with me.The film focused on the experiments of a mad doctor. He altered hispatients' lives by manipulating their dreams.In the sample paragraph above, the short sentences, all having the same noun-verb-object pattern, create a choppy effect. Here are the sentences "combined" into one, more economical sentence:Last weekend three friends and I saw a science fiction film in which a mad doctor altered his patients' lives by manipulating their dreams.Now, look at your own writing. Are there groups of shorter sentences that could be combined?SubordinationShort, choppy sentences also make it difficult for a reader to understand the connection between ideas. By using subordinating conjunctions (connective words that make one clause in a sentence dependent—or subordinate—and thus show the relationship between one clause and another) a reader is given more direction. Subordinating conjunctions include words such as after, when, although, because, etc.Consider the following examples:I kicked the chair. My foot hurt terribly.Now consider how subordination links and show the connection between the two sentences. By using different subordinating conjunctions, the sentences take on very different meanings:After I kicked the chair, my foot hurt terribly.orI kicked the chair because my foot hurt terribly.Now, check your own writing. Do your sentences show the relationship between more important ideas and less important ideas? Is it clear how the ideas in one sentence relate to the ideas in the next sentence? If not, you may need to join these sentences with a subordinating conjunction. A list of subordinating conjunctions is provided in the Commonly Used Grammatical terms link.An Editing ExampleBecause this chapter looks separately at sentence length and sentence variety, you may think good writers always look at each separately as they revise their work. Certainly you could revise that way if you find it helpful. In most cases, though, that’s not how writers work through their revisions. Experienced writers usually revise for varied lengths and varied structures at the same time. Let’s begin with a short paragraph with overly simple and repetitive sentence style.Scientists have known of sickle-cell anemia for a long time. It stillremains a menace for African-Americans. The problem is that nobody has discovered a cure. Scientists have experimented with several drugs.They have experimented with other chemicals. Some of these reduce a few ill effects of the disease. The fight against sickle-cell anemia has been waged on a small scale. Serious research is just beginning. These eight sentences average 8.6 words per sentence, and only thenext-to-last sentence falls in the desired range of 12- to 20-words per sentence. In addition, each sentence begins with the subject of an independent clause. Now let’s edit for both varied sentence lengths and structures. We do this by looking at what ideas can be combined and which ideas should be emphasized in those combinations through subordination.●The first two sentences share the idea of time (―for a long time‖and ―still remains‖), so let’s use subordinations to combine themand focus on the continuing menace of the disease: Althoughscientists have known of sickle-cell anemia for a long time, itremains a menace for African-Americans.●Sentences four and five both deal with scientific testing, whilesentence six indicates only limited positive results have beenachieved. Sentence three contains the bottom line—no cure. Wecan combine all four sentences into one effective one: Whilescientists have tested several drugs and chemicals, and reduce afew ill effects, nobody has discovered a cure.●The seventh sentence can stand alone, though we can strengthenit by adding ―only‖—a point the preceding sentences reinforce: Thefight against sickle-cell anemia has been waged on only a smallscale.●The eighth sentence stands on its own. Don’t be concerned thatit has only five words. With the other sentences in the paragraphnow considerably longer, a short sentence adds to the variety:Serious research is just beginning.Now let’s put all our revised sentences together and evaluate the results: Although scientists have known of sickle-cell anemia(镰状细胞性贫血) for a long time, it remains a menace（威胁，恐吓）forAfrican-Americans. While scientists have tested several drugs andchemicals, and reduce a few ill effects, nobody has discovered a cure.The fight against sickle-cell anemia has been waged（进行，开始，有职业的）on only a small scale. Serious research is just beginning.We now have four sentences averaging 14.5 words per sentence. The first two sentences begin with dependent clauses, while the third and fourthsentences begin with the subjects of independent clauses. We’ve achieved the desired range for sentence lengths, and the sentences present varied sentence patterns.Fix Long, Wordy （冗长的；口头的；唠叨的；文字的）Sentences∙Longer sentences can be extremely effective; they can also be just plain wordy. Try some of these strategies to streamline（vt. 把…做成流线型；使现代化；组织；使合理化；使简单化∙n. 流线；流线型∙adj. 流线型的）your sentences:1) Avoid using passive verbs such as is, was, were, are, has, had, etc.;passive constructions create wordiness. The pedestrian（行人，步行者，缺乏想象力的）was hit by the man who was driving a red car vs. The man in the red car hit the pedestrian.2) Avoid using too many prepositional phrases (e.g., "the house of my mother" rather than "my mother's house").3) Prunevi. 删除；减少vt. 修剪；删除；剪去n. 深紫红色；傻瓜；李子干your sentences. Eliminate repetition (don't state the same idea three different ways) and eliminate unnecessary words, e.g., In my mind, I decided that ... – where else are you going to decide something? In someone else's mind? or phrases like "true fact" (a fact is true), "new innovations," and so forth.4) Cut back on the use of words such as it, which, whose, that, those, thing, these, they.5) Eliminate what Ken Macrorie calls "namery" (the habit of naming things that do not need naming). Here's a wonderful example of sentence "tightening" from his book, Telling Writing:Sample paragraph:Juliet and Rosalind are women who fall in love. This is one of the few similarities between these two characters. They are different in age,with Juliet being an impetuous adolescent and Rosalind being a mature adult. This different is illustrated by the manner in which eachcharacter falls in love. Juliet rushes into romance and gets married as quickly as possible while Rosalind makes sure of her love forOrlando—a much more rational and logical choice than Juliet's.This paragraph is devastated by Namery. The author says that Juliet and Rosalind falls in love and then unnecessarily says these acts are similar. He says the two are different in age and then later says one is an adolescent and the other an adult. He wastes completely the sentence:This difference is illustrated by the manner in which each characterfalls in love.because the next sentence shows the difference specifically. The paragraph could be cut in half without losing essential meaning:One of the few similarities between Juliet and Rosalind is that they both fall in love; but Juliet rushes into （仓促行动）romance while Rosalind makes sure of her love for Orlando. Juliet is an impetuous （冲动的，鲁莽的）adolescent; Rosalind is a mature adult.。