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英文笑话大全 带翻译

英文笑话大全 带翻译

英文笑话大全带翻译A Collection of English Jokes with Translation。

Humor is a universal language that can bring people together and brighten up their day. In this article, we have compiled a collection of English jokes with translations to help you understand the humor and improve your English skills.1. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!为什么番茄变红了?因为它看到了沙拉酱!2. What do you call a fake noodle?An impasta!你怎么称呼假面条?冒牌货!3. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!为什么咖啡要报警?它被抢劫了!4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!穿着马甲的鳄鱼怎么称呼?侦探!5. Why did the math book look so sad?Because it had too many problems!为什么数学书看起来很伤心?因为它有太多问题!6. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!怎么称呼一个有六块腹肌的雪人?腹肌雪人!7. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人获得了奖项?因为他在自己的领域非常出色!8. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!没有牙齿的熊怎么称呼?软糖熊!9. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!为什么科学家不信任原子?因为它们构成了一切!10. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?A stick!怎么称呼不会回来的回旋镖?棍子!11. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!为什么鸡要穿过游乐场?为了到达另一侧的滑梯!12. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!怎么称呼戴着领结的鱼?Sofishticated(优雅的)!13. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!为什么自行车会倒下?因为它太累了!14. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?A can't opener!怎么称呼不能开罐头的开罐器?不能开罐头器!15. Why did the tomato turn green?Because it was unripe!为什么番茄变绿了?因为它还没有成熟!16. What do you call a bear with no ears?B!没有耳朵的熊怎么称呼?B!17. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?Because it felt crummy!为什么饼干要去看医生?因为它感觉很差!18. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?A thesaurus!怎么称呼有广泛词汇量的恐龙?词汇表!19. Why did the banana go to the doctor?Because it wasn't peeling well!为什么香蕉要去看医生?因为它剥皮不顺!20. What do you call a fake rock?A shamrock!怎么称呼假石头?三叶草!We hope these jokes brought a smile to your face and helped you improve your English skills. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so keep these jokes in mind for the next time you need a good laugh!。

简短英语笑话带翻译

简短英语笑话带翻译
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
Translation:
一堵墙对另一堵墙说了什么?
“我会在拐角处等你!”
Joke 5:
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
She gave me a hug.
Translation:
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误。
她给了我一个拥抱。
Joke 9:
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Translation:
我过去用耳朵弹钢琴,但现在我用手。
Joke 10:
It was two-tired.
Translation:
为什么自行车自己站不起来?
因为它太累了。
Joke 6:
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time no sea.
Translation:
当潮水涨上来时,海滩说了什么?
好久不见。
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.
I just can't seem to put it down.
Translation:
我正在读一本关于胶水历史的书。
我似乎就是放不下它。
ห้องสมุดไป่ตู้以上是一些简短有趣的英语笑话,希望能给你带来一些快乐!
Title: Short English Jokes with Translation

English Jokes 英文笑话

English Jokes 英文笑话

What is the longest word in the English language?SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.Maria: This is it.Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?Class: Maria did.A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink."Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. "Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.Officer: You were speeding.Man: No, I wasn't.Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.Man: But I wasn't speeding.Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?Officer: Yes, you would.Man: What if I just thought that you were?Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).∙Telegram∙Telephone∙Tell a womanPerhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle.EDITOR'S NOTE: Maybe you could teach your students the phrase "politically correct" and discuss it.If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.If you teach a man to fish, he can always eat.If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.B: That's impossible. Whose baby?A: An elephant's."Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said."Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.A: I'm in a big trouble!B: Why is that?A: I saw a mouse in my house!B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.A: I don't have one.B: Well then, buy one.A: Can't afford one.B: I can give you mine if you want.A: That sounds good.B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.A: I don't have any cheese.B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.A: I don't have oil.B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.A: I don't have bread.B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."A man is talking to God.The man: "God, how long is a million years?"God: "To me, it's about a minute."The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"God: "To me it's a penny."The man: "God, may I have a penny?"God: "Wait a minute."Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school."If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?B: Yes, of course.A: Great! I never could before!Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.(Requires basic knowledge of the Cinderella story and that both ball and coach have double meanings.) Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".Student: I is the...Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I".Always put 'am' after an "I".Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.Two factory workers are talking.The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."The man replies, "And how would you do that?"The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."Two cows are standing in a field.One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"Teacher: How can we get some clean water?Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"This is a good one to follow the following previously submitted joke.A: What do you call a deer with no eyes?B: No idea. (No Eye Deer.)A: What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?B: Still no idea.A: Meet my new born brother.B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.Q: When does the (English) alphabet have only 25 letters?A: At Christmas time, because it is the time of Noel. (No L)Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?Q: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?A: Wet.Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?A: A stick.Q: Where do you find giant snails?A: On the ends of their fingers.(Giants' nails.)Q: What travels around the world and stays in a corner?A: A stamp.Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?A: A blackboard.These need to be written.Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?A: A piiig.Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?A: Santa Claus walking backwards.Q: What do elephants have that no other animal has?A: Baby elephants.Depending on where you live, students will enjoy this one.Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?A: Mississippi.Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?A: Nothing, it just waved!Submitted by: Eric SteinThe First 3 Years of Marriage∙In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.∙In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.∙In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.Riddles of AlphabetQ: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?A: B. (bee)Q: What letter is a part of the head?A: I. (eye)Q: What letter is a drink?A: T. (tea)Q: What letter is a body of water?A: C. (sea)Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?A: The letter " I "Q: What letter is a vegetable?A: P. (pea)Q: What letter is an exclamation?A: O. (oh!)Q: What letter is a European bird?A: J. (Jay)Q: What letter is looking for causes ?A: Y. (why)Q: What four letters frighten a thief?A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years? A: The letter "m".Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?A: It can make "her" "hear".Q: Which is the loudest vowel?A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noiseQ: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?A: Alphabet = (26 letters)Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?Q: What is the end of everything?A: The letter "g".Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors?A: A piano.Q: What has 6 eyes but can't see?A: 3 blind mice.Q: Who earns money driving their customers away?A: A taxi driver.The teacher speaking to a student said, "Saud, name two pronouns."Saud who suddenly woke up, said, "Who, me?"Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense.Q: What is orange and sounds like parrot?A: A carrotQ: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!This is a riddle. It works well if you let the students ask yes and no questions about the situation, before revealing the answer.Q: A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun, and points it at the customer. "Thank you" replies the customer and walks out. What happened?A: The customer had hiccups.I've used this in many countries in Eastern Europe. It always works - a shock as a hiccup cure appears to be an international thing.Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?A: No idea.(No-eye deer)ESL teacher: You must never begin a sentence "I is ...".Clever student: Please sir, what's wrong with "I is a vowel".Q: What happens when "you" and "I" are gone?A: Only 24 letters are left. (you=the letter "u" and I the letter "i".)。

看懂一段笑话的英文

看懂一段笑话的英文

看懂一段笑话的英文"Understanding an English Joke"A joke can be a great way to lighten the mood and bring some laughter into our lives. However, translating humor from one language to another can be challenging. In this article, we will explore how to understand and appreciate an English joke, even if English is not your native language.1. Familiarize Yourself with English WordplayEnglish jokes often rely on wordplay, puns, and double entendres. These linguistic techniques can create humor by using words with multiple meanings or by exploiting the sound or similarity between words. To understand jokes like these, it is essential to have a solid grasp of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions in English.For example, consider the following joke: "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" This joke plays on the double meaning of "make up," which can mean both "compose" and "fabricate." Understanding this pun is crucial to appreciating the humor.2. Learn Cultural ReferencesJokes can be heavily influenced by cultural references, including famous people, events, or specific contexts. Understanding these references is crucial to fully grasp the comedic intent. Therefore, immersing yourself in English-speaking cultures through books, movies, and conversations can be beneficial.For instance, here's a joke that involves a British cultural reference: "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" Knowing that "being outstanding in one's field" means excelling in a particular domain while also understanding the image of a scarecrow in agricultural settings is essential for getting the joke.3. Embrace the UnexpectedOne characteristic of English humor is the element of surprise. Many jokes rely on unexpected twists or absurd situations. To understand and appreciate these jokes, you need to be open to unconventional and unpredictable scenarios.Consider the following example: "Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!" The unexpected punchline plays on the literal meaning of "guts" (internal organs) and the figurative meaning of "guts" (courage). Appreciating this type of humor requires thinking outside the box and embracing unexpected connections.4. Seek Contextual CluesUnderstanding the context surrounding a joke can significantly aid comprehension. If you're struggling to understand a joke, consider the setting, characters, and any clues given in the joke itself. Contextual clues can provide valuable information to decipher the punchline.For instance, let's examine this joke: "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!" By knowing that bicycles typically have two tires and that "two-tired" sounds similar to "too tired," the punchline becomes clear.5. Utilize Language Learning ResourcesTo enhance your understanding of English jokes, take advantage of language learning resources specifically designed to help learners navigate humor. Websites, books, and apps dedicated to English jokes can provide explanations, translations, and even exercises to build your joke comprehension skills.ConclusionUnderstanding English jokes involves familiarizing yourself with English wordplay, learning cultural references, embracing the unexpected, seeking contextual clues, and utilizing language learning resources. By continuously practicing and exposing yourself to various jokes, you'll gradually develop a sense of humor in English and enjoy the laughter that comes with it. So, put a smile on your face, have a good laugh, and enjoy the wonderful world of English comedy!。

English_Jokes_英语笑话

English_Jokes_英语笑话

English Jokes[美]Marshall’s Talent Education, LLC. 龚珍妮 编译英语笑话An English teacher is giving a lesson to his students. He asks his students a question, “What is the most common word used by students in a classroom?”The whole class is silent. It seems that none of them can answer such a difficult question. Suddenly a boy student stands up and says, “Can’t, Sir!”“Smart! You are right. Please sit down,” says the teacher.一位英语老师正在给他的学生上课。

他问学生一个问题:“学生在教室里最常用的词是什么?”全班学生都安静了下来。

看来,他们谁也回答不了这么难的一个问题。

突然,一个男生站了起来,说道:“不会,先生!”“聪明!你回答正确。

请坐下。

”老师说。

give a lesson to给……上课the most common最常见的common adj. 常见的used by …被……使用 whole adj.全部的;整个的whole class 全班seem v.似乎;看上去suddenly adv.突然Notes:不会1. Can’tA maths teacher is giving a lesson to her students. She asks, “How can you make the number seven to an even number?”Wood stands up and says loudly, “Just take the ‘s’ out from it!”At this, all the others laugh and laugh.一位数学老师正在给她的学生上课。

英语笑话 English Jokes

英语笑话 English Jokes

English Jokes1,Money is not everything, because there is mastercard and visa sometimes.钱不是万能的,有时候还需要信用卡。

2,A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."3,Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they seetheir last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"4,Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。

English_Jokes_英语笑话

English_Jokes_英语笑话

[美]System 3000 Ltd.龚珍妮 编译1. Outside and inside 外面和里面 Teacher: Charlie, if you had three apples and ate one, how many would you have? Charlie: Three. Teacher: Three? Charlie: Yes, two outside and one inside . 老师:查理,如果你有三个苹果,吃了一个,那你还有几个苹果? 查理:三个。

老师:三个? 查理:是的,两个在外面,一个在里面。

Notes:outside adv. 在外面inside adv. 在里面English Jokes英语笑话Notes:sentence n. 句子2. Where is the egg?鸡蛋在哪里? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word “egg”? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg”? Student: In the cake, sir. 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”这个词造句吗? 学生:我能。

我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

老师:那么“鸡蛋”在哪里? 学生:在蛋糕里,老师。

Notes:just adv. 仅仅;只是3. Where do you have trouble?你哪里有麻烦? Student: Excuse me, Miss. I’m calling just to tell you I can’t go to school today . Teacher: Why? What’s wrong? Student: I don’t feel well . Teacher: Where do you feel trouble ? Student: In the classroom. 学生:对不起,老师。

经典英式幽默英语笑话

经典英式幽默英语笑话

经典英式幽默英语笑话经典英式幽默英语笑话Who is Stupid?A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?""No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"一个老师在对学生们讲心理学,“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗,小约翰尼?”老师问。

“不是的,老师,我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。

”一分一块钱A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.一天,教授正在给学生们监考。

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1.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。

如果你只有65岁的话,千万别进退休社区。

因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。

每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。

”2.Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红?弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架?妈妈:你做的对,谁和谁在打架。

弗雷迪:我和杰克·史密斯。

3.A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace. 'I'd rather not,', the clergyman said, ' I don't want Him to know I'm here.'一位著名牧师和他教区的几位老人出席城外会议直到天黑才开完会,他们打算在回家前吃点东西。

但很不巧只有一家名声不好的下等酒吧烤菜馆开着门。

饭后,一位老人要牧师祈祷。

“我想我是免了,”牧师说。

“我不想让主知道我在这里。

”4.Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?Jack: Certainly.Tom: And why?Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.汤姆:威廉向我借五英镑。

我该不该借给他?杰克:当然应该了。

汤姆:为什么?杰克:否则他就该跟我借了。

5.I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination . At lasthe succeeded.'Why are you so nervous?' I asked him.'The numbers are the date of our anniversary.' my usband confessed.我陪丈夫一起出差,他带着他的手提式计算机。

机场出口处检查员要他打开包。

他耐心的等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。

最后他终于想起来了。

“你为什么那么紧张呢?”我问他。

“这密码是我们结婚纪念日。

”他承认道6. An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?''Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.''It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

她问店员:“这东西要多少钱?”“七美元,太太,这是很便宜的。

” 老太太说:“太贵了,十四美元差不多。

”店员忙说:“我没说十七美元,是七美元。

”“还是太贵,”老太太说:“五美元,我就买啦。

”7.Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.妈妈:你为什么不停地跳上跳下的?汤姆:我刚吃完药,可我忘了先摇动瓶子了8.One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.'The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.'My husband looked up and said, 'Mom's here?'一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物,回来后发现车身沾满灰尘,于是擦洗了一阵。

当我终于走进屋里时大声喊:“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。

”我丈夫抬头看了看,说:“妈妈来了?”9.Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon?Mr.Smith: Yes.Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?约翰逊先生:今天下午你准备用割草机吗?史密斯先生:是的。

约翰逊先生:太好了。

既然您不用网球拍,那我可以借用一下吗?10.Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.'I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.''Don't worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.' He said with a smile.玛丽非常讨厌丈夫吸烟,一天对他抱怨说:“我希望有一天所有卷烟厂都失火。

”“不用担心,亲爱的,所有的烟卷迟早都会点着的。

”他笑着说。

EnglishmanOnce,late at night,an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room,but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water. Every few minutes the Englishmen would come out of his room and repeat his request. After ahalf-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. "Nothing," the Englishman answered imperturbably,"It’s simply that my room is on fire."一个英国人一天晚上,一个英国人从他住的旅店房间里走出来。

来到走廊上,叫旅店的服务员给他拿一杯水来。

服务员按他的要求做了。

英国人回到了他的房间里,几分钟后他又来到走廊上,让服务员再给他送一杯水。

服务员又给他送了一杯水。

每隔几分钟。

英国人就走出房间重复他的要求。

半小时之后.这位感到惊讶的服务员决定问问房客要这些水干什么,英国人不谎不忙地回答:"没什么.只不过是我的房间里起火了。

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