Augustus

Augustus, my child,that is not a good thing you do!Hey, little boy.My chocolate must be untouched by human hands. He'll drown.He can't swim.Save him!Augustus! No!Augustus!Augustus, watch out!There he goes.Call the fire brigade!It's a wonder how that pipe is big enough.It isn't big enough. He's slowing down.He's gonna stick.I think he has.He's blocked the whole pipe.Look. The Oompa-Loompas.What are they doing?They're going to treat us to a little song.It is quite a special occasion.They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon. Augustus Gloop, Augustus GloopThe great big, greedy nincompoopAugustus Gloop, so big and vileSo greedy, foul and infantile"Come on!" we cried"The time is ripeTo send him shooting up the pipe!"But don 't, dear children, be alarmedAugustus Gloop will not be harmedAugustus Gloop will not be harmedAlthough, of course, we must admitHe will be altered quite a bitSlowly, wheels go round and roundAnd cogs begin to grind and poundThis greedy brute, this louse's earIs loved by people everywhereFor who could hate or bear a grudgeAgainst a luscious bit of fudge?Bravo! Well done!Aren't they delightful?Aren't they charming?-I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed.-Like they knew it was gonna happen.Oh, poppycock.Where is my son?Where does that pipe go to?That pipe, it just so happens to lead directly to the room where I make delicious strawberry-flavored, chocolate-coated fudge.Then he will be made into strawberry-flavored, chocolate-coated fudge.They'll be selling him by the pound all over the world?No. I wouldn't allow it.The taste would be terrible.Can you imagine Augustus-flavored, chocolate-coated Gloop?No one would buy it.I want you to take Mrs. Gloop up to the Fudge Room, okay?Help her find her son.Take a long stick and start poking around in the big chocolate-mixing barrel, okay? Mr. Wonka?Why would Augustus' name already be in the Oompa-Loompa song, unless--? Improvisation is a parlor trick.Anyone can do it.You, little girl. Say something.-Anything.-Chewing gum.Chewing gum is really grossChewing gum, I hate the mostSee? Exactly the same.No, it isn't.You really shouldn't mumble.Because I can't understand a word you're saying.Now, on with the tour.-Are the Oompa-Loompas really joking?-Of course they're joking.That boy will be fine.What's so funny?I think it's from all those doggone cocoa beans.Hey, by the way, did you guys know that chocolate contains a property......that triggers the release of endorphins?Gives one the feeling of being in love.You don't say.All aboard.Onward!Here.Try some of this. It'll do you good.You look starved to death.-It's great.-That's because it's mixed by waterfall.The waterfall is most important.Mixes the chocolate, churns it up, makes it light and frothy.-By the way, no other factory in the world---You already said that.-You're all quite short, aren't you?-Well, yeah. We're children.Well, that's no excuse.I was never as short as you.-You were once.-Was not. Know why?Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head.Look at your short, little arms.You could never reach.Do you even remember what it was like being a kid?Oh, boy, do l.Do l?In fact, Willy Wonka hadn 't thought about his childhood for years.Trick or treat!Trick or treat!Trick or treat!Who do we have here?Ruthie, Veronica, Terrance.And who's that under the sheet?Little Willy Wonka.Willy Wonka was the son of the city's most famous dentist...... Wilbur Wonka.Now......Iet's see what the damage is this year, shall we?Caramels.They'd get stuck in your braces, wouldn't they?Lollipops. Ought to be called "cavities on a stick."Then we have all this....All this chocolate. You know, just last week, I was reading in a very important medical journal that some children are allergic to chocolate.Makes their noses itch.Maybe I'm not allergic.I could try a piece.Really?But why take a chance?Mr. Wonka? Mr. Wonka?-We're headed for a tunnel.-Oh, yeah.Full speed ahead.-How can they see where they're going?-They can't.There's no knowing where they're going.Switch on the lights!People, keep an eye out.We're passing some very important rooms here.What do you use hair cream for?To lock in moisture.-Whipped cream.-Precisely.That doesn't make sense.For your information, little girl whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips.Everybody knows that.Stop the boat.I wanna show you guys something.Now, this is the most important room in the entire factory.Now, everyone, enjoy yourselves, but just don't touch anything.Okay? Go on.Go on, scoot.Hey, Mr. Wonka, what's this?Let me show you.Thank you.These are Everlasting Gobstoppers.They're for children who are given very little allowance.You can suck on it all year, and it'll never get any smaller.-lsn't that neat?-It's like gum.。