圣诞歌曲集锦

Ⅰ. Can I get a Picture of You so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?可不可以给我一张你的照片？我想拿给圣诞老人看，让他明白什么才是我圣诞节想要的礼物。

Ⅱ.Don’t be surprised if a BIG fat red man comes down your chimney and puts you in a black sack... I told Santa I want you for Christmas如果一位胖胖的穿红衣服的老人从你的烟囱里进来，把你放进一个黑色的布袋，请千万不要惊奇。

因为我告诉圣诞老人我想要你作为我圣诞节的礼物。

Ⅲ. A Politically Correct Christmas Poem一首政治正确的圣诞诗Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves","Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the North Pole,were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.现在是圣诞前夜，圣诞老人失魂落魄......在一个政治正确的世界该如何生活？他的工人们不再对“精灵”负责，他们称自己的身高不够。

而北极的劳动条件，被工会指控窒息灵魂。

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.And equal employment had made it quite clear,that Santa had better not use just reindeer.So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!四只驯鹿未履行任何正式手续，就被人道社团释放到田野。

同样的雇佣条件使这一点很清晰，圣诞老人最好不要仅使用驯鹿。

所以跳舞者、多纳、慧星和丘比特，被四只猪取代，你知道这看起来很搞笑！The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,And millions of people were calling the Cops,when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened, and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".雪橇的滑板被取下，因为美国环保署认为滑板留下的压痕危险，当听到雪撬在他们屋顶发出的噪音时，数百万的人拨打报警电话。

从他的烟斗里冒出的二手烟，让他的工人们非常害怕，他那皮毛装饰的红色套装被视为“不开化”。

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.为了让你明白今日奇怪的潮流，鲁道尔夫正在起诉对它红鼻子滥用。

他去找杰拉尔多，在全国人民的面前，要求数百万被拖欠的工人补偿。

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wifewho suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,demanding from now on that her title was Ms.所以，一半的驯鹿走了，而他的妻子，突然说她受够了这种生活，说今后她的称呼将是女士，然后加入一个自救团体，也一阵风似地离开了，And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notionthat making a choice could cause such commotion.Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.至于礼物，唉，他从没有想过，做出一个选择会导致如此的混乱。

没有皮革，没有软毛，这一切对于他或她来说都毫无意义。

没有目标，没有方向，没有喧嚣的事物制造噪音，没有仅为男孩也没有仅为女孩制造的礼物，没有什么有明确的性别标志，没有任何与战争相关的东西。

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,for they raised the hackles of those psychological,who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.没有糖果，它们对牙齿有害。

似乎没有什么装饰真实。

童话人物虽然没有被禁止，却像肯和巴比一样，最好隐藏起来，因为它们会激起某些人的愤怒，他们宣称最好的礼物应是生态环保的。

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.没有棒球，没有足球，因为有人可能会受伤，另外，运动让孩子们变脏。

据说是最性感的道尔斯应当成为过去，任天堂将会使你的智力消失。

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,he just couldn't figure out what to do next?He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,but you must have to be careful with that word today His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.所以圣诞老人只能站在那儿，手足无措，满脸困惑，不知道下一步要做什么。

他努力地想要开心，想要快乐，但是今天面对这种词你必须小心谨慎。

他的口袋空空，平躺在地上，再也找不到能被完全接受的礼物。

Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right.A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,each group of people in every religion.Every race, every hue,everyone, everywhere...even you!So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...需要一些特殊的东西，一件礼物，他可以给我们而且不会让左右的人发怒。

一件确定会让任何宗教，任何种族，任何地方的任何团体，甚至你感到满意的礼物。

你现在看的就是那件礼物，它的价值无与伦比。

"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH" “祝你和你爱的人，永享地球的和平！”Ⅳ. A Christmas Story一个圣诞故事'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!I've busted my a** for damn near a year,Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?The old lady b**ches cause I work late at night.The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.And just when I thought that things would get betterThose ***holes from the IRS sent me a letter,They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funnyWho the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?And the kids these days--they all are the pitsThey want the impossible--Those mean little s**tsI spent a whole year making wagons and sledsAssembling dolls...Their arms, legs and headsI made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!Flying through the air...dodging the treesFalling down chimneys and skinning my kneesI'm quitting this job there's just no enjoymentI'll sit on my fat a** and draw unemployment.There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season在圣诞前夜，圣诞老人发火了，他把精灵骂跑了，然后把名单扔到地上。