小学五年级英语幽默小故事(三篇)
小学五年级英语幽默小故事（三篇）
Across a small drugstore, a large chain store was newly opened and would defeat the businessof the small drugstore.
The shopkeeper of the drugstore went to a priest to talk about his concern. The priestsuggested, “You stand in front of your store every day to pray for it to prosper, and then turnaround to pray for that chain store likewise, that is, to embrace your enemy in public.”
Some days later, as what the shopkeeper worried, his store shut down, but he was appointedas the manager of the chain store, and earned more than before.
一间小杂货店对面新开了一家大型连锁商店，这家商店即将打垮杂货店的生意。
杂货店老板寻牧师诉苦。
牧师建议他：“每天早上站在商店门前祈祷你的商店生意兴隆，然后转过身去，也同样祈祷那家连锁商店，也就是当众拥抱你的敌人。
”
一段日子后，正如这人当初所担心的，他的商店关门了，但他却被聘为那家连锁店的经理，而且收入比以前更好。
【家规】
Mr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, "There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?"
Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.
They came out of the cinema at 11 o'clock, got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark. Then Mrs.
Jones said, "Look, Bill. A woman's running along the road
very fast, and a man's running after her. Can you see them?"
Mr. Jones said, "Yes, I can." He drove the car slowly
near the woman and said to her, "Can we help you?"
"No, thank you," the woman said, but she did not stop running. "My husband and I always run home after the cinema, and the last one washes the dishes at home!"
家规
琼斯夫妇晚上很少出门，但上星期六，琼斯太太对丈夫说：“电
影院今晚有场好电影，我们去看好吗?”
琼斯先生很乐意，于是他们就去了。
两个人都喜爱那部电影。
晚上十一点，他们从电影院出来，钻进汽车，开始驾车回家。
天
很黑。
这时，琼斯太太说：“看，比尔。
一个女人在沿街狂奔，一个
男人在后猛追不舍。
你看到了吗?”
琼斯先生说：“是的，看到了。
”他慢慢把车开近那女人，说道：“你需要帮忙吗?”
“不，感谢，”女人答道，但她没有放慢速度，“我丈夫跟我在
看完电影后，经常跑步回家，后到家的洗碗涮碟。
”
【画蛇添足】
One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it.
Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, I’ve finished.
I’m No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”
画蛇添足
一天，狮子先生进行一场聚会，许多动物都来了，他们喝许多酒。
最后只剩一壶酒了。
让谁喝呢?它们想了想，有个主意。
它们竞赛画蛇，谁最快画好，谁就喝这壶酒。
不一会，狼先生画好了。
“哈，我画好了，我是第一个。
”它说。
可是它又画了起来，它还说：“再给它加几只足吧。
”这是猩猩先生
也画好了。
它拿起那酒壶喝起来。
一边喝一边说：“那不是蛇，蛇是
没有足的，我赢了这壶酒。
”。
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2：英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事（精选16篇）在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事，是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事，欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
小学英语幽默小故事
小学英语幽默小故事“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来小学英语幽默小故事，欢迎大家阅读!小学英语幽默小故事1：1. The buddy said to Tom, "I hear that it's the safest sitting in the middle of the train. Once an accident occurs, both ends of the train get damaged worst."伙伴对汤姆说：“我听说坐在火车中间最安全。
一旦发生事故，火车两头遭到的破坏最大。
”"Idiot! Why won't they get rid of both ends of the train?"“白痴!他们为什么不去掉火车的两头呢?”小学英语幽默小故事2："You'll be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to schoolby bus but ran all the way after it."“妈妈，你今天会对我满意的，“放学回家后，迪克对妈妈说。
“我省下了车钱。
我上学时没有乘公共汽车，而是一路跟着公共汽车跑。
”"Well," said his mother laughing. "Next time you should run after a taxi, you'll save much more."“噢，”她的妈妈笑道。
英语幽默小故事7篇
英语幽默小故事7篇若是你在学习英语的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小故事放松放松。
英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。
这次小编给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
英语幽默小故事1My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。
一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。
麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。
While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”英语幽默小故事2Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after allthese years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。
小学五年级英语幽默小故事(三篇)
小学五年级英语幽默小故事（三篇）Across a small drugstore, a large chain store was newly opened and would defeat the businessof the small drugstore.The shopkeeper of the drugstore went to a priest to talk about his concern. The priestsuggested, “You stand in front of your store every day to pray for it to prosper, and then turnaround to pray for that chain store likewise, that is, to embrace your en emy in public.”Some days later, as what the shopkeeper worried, his store shut down, but he was appointedas the manager of the chain store, and earned more than before.一间小杂货店对面新开了一家大型连锁商店，这家商店即将打垮杂货店的生意。
杂货店老板找牧师诉苦。
牧师建议他：“每天早上站在商店门前祈祷你的商店生意兴隆，然后转过身去，也同样祈祷那家连锁商店，也就是当众拥抱你的敌人。
”一段日子后，正如这人当初所担心的，他的商店关门了，但他却被聘为那家连锁店的经理，而且收入比以前更好。
【家规】Mr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, "There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?"Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.They came out of the cinema at 11 o'clock, got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark. Then Mrs.Jones said, "Look, Bill. A woman's running along the roadvery fast, and a man's running after her. Can you see them?"Mr. Jones said, "Yes, I can." He drove the car slowlynear the woman and said to her, "Can we help you?""No, thank you," the woman said, but she did not stop running. "My husband and I always run home after the cinema, and the last one washes the dishes at home!"家规琼斯夫妇晚上很少出门，但上星期六，琼斯太太对丈夫说：“电影院今晚有场好电影，我们去看好吗?”琼斯先生很乐意，于是他们就去了。
英语幽默小短文（5篇材料）
英语幽默小短文（5篇材料）第一篇：英语幽默小短文英语幽默小短文Two birdsTeacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
The Fish Net“Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?”“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.鱼网“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？” 老师发问道。
“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
” 小女孩回答道。
The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.“George, how did you like your new teacher?” asked his mother.“I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....”新老师9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。
少儿英语幽默故事带中文翻译
少儿英语幽默故事带中文翻译在少儿成长的岁月中，我们夜晚听着妈妈讲述英语睡前故事。
而现在，我们已经长大了一定的岁数，可以自己看一些英语故事了，可以是幽默，也可以是简短的。
今天为大家奉上少儿英语幽默故事，时间难得，何不深入了解一下让自己的收获更多呢?少儿英语幽默故事(一)Poor GeorgeGeorge is a little monkey. He lives in a deep forest. He likes jumping and climbing trees. He is happy every day. But he has a shortcoming. He is curious.One day an old man goes by the forest. He carries a lot of straw hats. George sees the man, and the man sees George, too. The man says to himself, “What a lovely monkey! I will catch him.I will take him home.”The man sits down and thinks over. George sees and also sits down. The man has an idea. He puts a hat on his head, and puts other hats on the ground. Then he pretends to sleep.Georg e is curious and looks at the hats. “I will be nice if I put a hat on my head.” George thinks. Then he climbs down from the tree, picks up a hat and puts it on. The hat is too big, and covers George’s eyes. George can’t see. And the man gets up at once, rushes out and catches him quickly.Poor George!可怜的乔治乔治是一只小猴子。
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事（通用9篇）有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事，特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
英语幽默小故事三篇
英语幽默小故事三篇英语幽默小故事（1）Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
英语幽默小故事（2）Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before,and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he sawJohn‘s papers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."大五个月第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中，阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力，还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面，就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事，并在快乐中学习吧！【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点：Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点：Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁，体现了他的幽默感。