哥伦比亚美国大学essay范文赏析
美国大学申请essay范文赏析
美国大学申请essay范文赏析美国大学申请ESSAY的写作一直是申请者们关注的热点问题。
美国大学的申请ESSAY提供给申请者留下的思考空间非常广阔，基本上不会有什么限制，ESSAY给了我们一个环境，那么怎么去“种”这朵“花”，那是你自己的事情了。
然而，很多学生依然拘泥于修饰，这可能跟小学以来养成写作习惯于赞美的缘故，华而不实的居多，那么如何准备美国大学申请ESSAY？不妨先进行角色转换，假如自己是一个美国人，美国人习惯对人进行赞美，但解决问题或者进行叙事论述，他们确实喜欢的是直接，喜欢论据。
下面，跟着我们一起来欣赏一篇非常有创意的ESSAY。
范文：A Boy’s FirstsThe boy is such a common boy. He is so common that only acquaintedfriends can notice him among the crowd; he is so common that he does not changehis girlfriend one time per month, just as those playboys do; and he is socommon that his daily life is no more special than those who listen to rock n’roll, bet for soccer games and seldom clean their rooms.However, the boy is somewhat special.He usually thinks that, his experience and personal achievements,along with his own happiness and grievances, are enough for him to be unique,though he does not have a face as good-looking as Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves, orwhoever.First AwardIt was such a surprising gift for a 12-year-old boy to know that hehad won the first prize in the national mathematics competition. The boyclutched the certification and laughed like a sun-flower blooming in a springmorning. He had spent three months preparing for that competition and hadlost5kgweight but he was very happy, as happy as you could imagine. Enjoyingthe pace of enterprising, he began to believe “No pain no gain” that afternoon.分享到•微信朋友圈•微信好友•新浪微博•QQ空间•更多。
新GRE 北美范文精析 Argument 12 范文精析
Argument 1212、Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.In this memo Omega University's dean points out that Omega graduates are less successful in getting jobs than Alpha University graduates, despite the fact that during the past 15 years the overall grade average of Omega students has risen by 30%. The dean also points out that during the past 15 years Omega has encouraged its students, by way of a particular procedure, to evaluate the effectiveness of their professors. The dean reasons that this procedure explains the grade-average increase, which in turn has created a perception among employers that Omega graduates are less qualified for jobs. On the basis of this line of reasoning the dean concludes that to enable Omega graduates to find better jobs Omega must terminate its professor-evaluation procedure. This argument contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.A threshold problem with the argument involves the voluntary nature of the evaluation procedure. The dean provides no evidence about the or percentage of Omega students who participate in the procedure. Lacking such evidence it is entirely possible that those numbers are insignificant, in which case terminating the procedure is unlikely to haveany effect on the grade average of Omega students or their success in getting jobs after graduation.The argument also assumes unfairly that the grade-average increase is the result of the evaluation procedure--rather than some other phenomenon. The dean ignores a host ofother possible explanations for the increase--such as a trend at Omega toward higher or higher quality instruction or facilities. Without ruling out all other possible explanations for the grade-average increase, the dean cannot convince me that by terminating the evaluation procedure Omega would curb its perceived grade inflation let alone help its graduates get jobs.Even if the evaluation procedure has resulted in grade inflation at Omega, the dean's claim that grade inflation explains why Omega graduates are less successful than Alpha graduates in getting jobs is unjustified. The dean overlooks a myriad of other possible reasons for Omega's comparatively poor job-placement record. Perhaps Omega's career services are inadequate; or perhaps Omega's curriculum does not prepare students for the job market aseffectively as Alpha's. In short, without accounting for other factors that might contribute to Omega graduates' comparative lack of success in getting jobs, the dean cannot justify the claim that if Omega curbs its grade inflation employers will be more likely to hire Omega graduates. 这段话的内容太重复了这个描述不够清晰直接说有调查错误 就好了the survey cited by the author is not reliable. 这篇文章的数据有很多问题，比如30%和average这个因果关系的梳理很好这两个原因列举 的很好划线部分是 让步攻击部分，即使上面这个逻辑 错误不存在，那么 后面这个也有问题Finally, even if the dean can substantiate all of the foregoing assumptions, the dean's assertion that Omega must terminate its evaluation procedure to enable its graduates to find better jobs is still unwarranted, in two respects. First, the dean ignores other possible ways by which Omega can increase its job-placement record--for example, by improving its publicrelations or career-counseling services. Second, the dean unfairly equates "more" jobs with "better" jobs. In other words, even if more Omega graduates are able to find jobs as a resultnot necessarily be better ones.In sum, the dean's argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it the dean must provide better evidence that the increase in grade average is attributable to Omega's professor-evaluation procedure, and that the end result is a perception on the part of employers that Omega graduates are less qualified for jobs than Alpha graduates. To better assess the argument I would need to analyze 15-year trends in (l) the percentage of Omega students participating in the evaluation procedure, (2) Omega's admission standards and quality of education, and (3) Omega's emphasis on job training and career preparation. I would also need to know what other means are available to Omega for enabling its graduates to find better jobs. 这是一个非常不明显的偷换概念 -- 可以不做攻击结尾段有些太长了 如果时间有限，那么solutions是可以不写的。
美国留学essay写作范文一篇
美国留学essay写作范文一篇准备去美国读书的学生，需要撰写essay，这对大家来说是一个不小的挑战。
接下来就来介绍美国留学essay写作范文一篇。
Essay范文Please submit a one-page，single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major（s）， department（s） or program（s）.请提交一篇文书解释一下你为什么选择卡耐基梅隆大学，你为什么要选这个专业。
在这篇例文中，作者开篇点明自己对数学感兴趣且拥有数学天赋，即使后来转学到美国，他的数学还是很优秀，他代表学校参加哈佛-麻省理工联合举办的数学锦标赛，还参加了美国地区数学联盟。
然后谈到他想要在卡耐基梅隆攻读数学学位并辅修计算机金融学，因为他想毕业后进入金融领域工作，扎实的数学分析能力是他未来事业成功必不可少缺的因素。
作者虽然没有用很多笔墨来写，卡耐基梅隆如何适合自己，却把自己的兴趣，意向专业，未来的职业目标巧妙地结合起来，呈现在招生官眼前，一个目标明确、有巨大学生潜力的形象跃然纸上。
My interest in mathematics stems from the first time my teacher taught me calculus in tenth grade. I was so intrigued to discover the area under the curve can be calculated so easily and even completed the problems not assigned by the teacher that night. From that day on，boring math homework for others started to be my first homework to complete even to this day. Today， I sit in the classroom of the most difficult mathematics course the school offers –multivariable calculus –solving interesting ellipsoid problems.After finishing my tenth grade in China，I went back to America， the country I was born in and raised for seven years. The change was enormous，both culturally and academically.For the first month， I had a hard time adjusting to the different situation. Fortunately， I survived after two months； and within several months later，I found myself excelling once again academically. I even had more class participation in Shakespeare Literature classes！Nonetheless，my passion for math remained consistent across the continental shift. When it was homework time， my math notebook was always on the top of the pile.In high school， I benefited from the great opportunities my school offered and had much free time to pursue my math interests. Every week in school， there are preparation sessions for the math competition “Great New Haven Math League，” which is a regional math competition held every two weeks throughout the entire school year. In February，I have the chance to represent my school，along with my math team members， to attend the Harvard-MIT Mathematics Tournament. As one of the key members on the math team，I established practice groups during free time so that team members can solve practice problems together and help each other. In June，I represented my school in attending the American Regions Math League，which is a competition held annually joined by high schools across America.At Mellon College of Science， I would elect to study both the Mathematical Science degree and the Computational Finance Minor，as I desire to enter the financial world after college. Doing so would equip me with the advanced mathematical modeling aptitude to succeed in numerous roles on Wall Street，such as currency trading. I look forward to solving interesting problems with my classmates and enjoying the enthusiasm mathematics brings to us. Moreover，I look forward topartaking in various math contests including the Putnam Competition.In closing， math is going to be one of my enduring friends and accompany me throughout my entire life. Future studies in my life will determine my ultimate vocation， but math will be an essential factor despite the field in which I work. Mastering advanced mathematics concepts during college will ensure me the fulfillment of my passion and broaden my perspectives in the ocean of knowledge that is mathematics.。
20XX美国留学ESSAY范文解读.doc
2019美国留学ESSAY范文解读【美国大学申请ESSAY给申请者留下的想象空间非常宽泛，但是由于中国学生在小学时期延续的写作习惯，越是宽泛的题材越是不好把握，和小编一起来看看2019美国留学ESSAY范文解读。
美国大学ESSAY范文：ABoy’sFirstsTheboyissuchacommonboy.Heissocommonthatonly acquaintedfriends cannoticehimamongtheheisso common thathedoesnot changehis girlfriend onetimeper month，justasplayboys do；andheis socommon thathisdailylifeisnomore special than thoselistentorockn’roll，betfor soccer games and seldom clean their rooms.However，theboyissomewhatspecial.Heusuallythinksthat，hisexperienceandpersonal achievements，along withown happinessand grievances，areenoughforhimtobeunique，though hedoesnothaveaasgood-looking asBradPittorKeanu Reeves，orwhoever.First AwardItwassucha surprising giftfora12-year-old boytoknowthat hehad wonthefirstprizeinthenational mathematics competition. The boyclutched the certification andlaughedlikeasun-flower bloomingina springmorning. Hespentthreemonths preparingforthat competitionandhadlost5kgweight buthewasveryhappy，ashappyyoucould imagine. Enjoyingthe paceof enterprising，hebegantobelieve“Nopainnogain”thatafternoon.First SetbackHuddling upinthequilt crying，theboywas introspecting Truehis haughtinessachievingthesecondprizeintheNational PhysicsCompetition，hedeservedtherankoflast5%infinal examination of7thgrade. Wipingupthetears，hesethimselfapromiseofbeing humble andsober.boy keptthe promise and became ayoung manofgreat maturity.First cooking“Quite atough work.”Theboysaidto himself，smearing soaponablister causedby theburningButasmallblisternevercouldstophimfromdoinghis “cookingresearch”. Theboystoodinofthegas-stove again，holding apancaketurner inhislefthand，hewastryingtofindoutcorrect timeof addingsalt andthe appropriate amountofother flavorings. Aftersomany failures，hefeltitwasnotasimple taskof cooking out palatable meals，nut achallenge of surpassing himself.theboy finally finished working one anda half hours later，heputa sweet smile onhisdirty face. Theboy wrote inhis diary，“keep working and you’ll win.”First LoveAttheageof16，theboyfellinlovewithasmartgirl.Eatingice-cream withtheintheice-cream baratthestreet，walkingon theboulevard handinhand，cyclingherhomekissing goodbye，heregarded loveastheholythinginhislife.Thus，theboy demonstrates afrom heart；hecares everyone nearby and wants themtobe beatific with their families. Aspeople say，angelic soul.First JobThe extremely hot summer holidayof16，theboywasexcited when hegotajobatthelocaltrain stationasaticket-taker. First working day，theboygotupsoearlythatwhenhearrivedatthestation，the previousticket-taker wasstillonhisin astonishment oftheboy’s Truethe ticket-taker didnotknowthat，theboywasjustsoastoget onthejobtoshow thathehad grown up.Soon a commonstudentwillhebe.Acommon onethatwill beassiduous inclassand passionate inthebasketball court；thatwillmake everyeffort torunforthe Chairman ofthe Student Unionbutmaystillface failure；that isnomore special thanthosewhospendhalfadayinlibraries andgotodinnerwhendo researchesinlabs.But somehowhewillbea uniquecollege student，hewill have hisown wayof fulfilling his dreams.And asyou may know，theboyisme.以上就是一篇标准的美国ESSAY范文，看懂这篇美国大学申请ESSAY的文章写作套路了吗？一、标题：也许，这个标题不算非常特别，但是它引人注目，一个男孩的第一次，可能我们想到更多的是一些“第一次”，联想到我们自己的“第一次”，兴趣自然就产生了！二、结构：结合了“第一次”的标题核心，下面分别以男孩生活、学习及工作中的各个第一次进行阐述，涉及的面比较全，包括感情，给人的感觉非常丰富且完整。
美国哈佛大学Essay写作优秀范文及解析
美国哈佛大学Essay写作优秀范文及解析Essay的中文意思是短文，散文。
Essay在本科申请中是非常重要的一部分，其重要性能够占到50%以上。
学校除了考察申请人是否优秀，是否独特，是否具备发展潜力外，更将申请人的思想深度和成熟度作为考核的重点。
也就是申请人在申请过程中想要呈现在AO(admission officer)面前的是怎样一个人。
申请人有怎样的思维方式。
思维方式是一个人的性格，情感，智力和道德的综合反映，学校会通过这些因素来评估申请人是否具有潜力，也就是说学校更看重申请人灵魂里的东西以及对生活的态度。
一般字数要求500words以内。
把大学规定的TOPIC做一个简单的归纳，会发现除了少数几个学校的Essay话题稍显另类之外，其他大部分学校一般都会提出或者涉及如下几类Essay要求：回忆类，描述你的成长经历，自省类，启发类，憧憬类等等。
下面做一下简单的举例： 1.评价你的一个重要经历、成就、风险决定、或者你曾面对的两难选择的经历，并评价对你造成的影响。
英文原文是：Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.（上海家装公司办公室设计上海：） 2.讨论某个个人的、地区性的、国家性的、或国际性的关注话题以及对你的重要性。
英文原文是：Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. 3.说明一个对你有重要影响的人并描述对你的影响。
英文原文是：Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. 4.描述一个影响你的人物并说明对你的影响，该人物可以是小说中的、历史中的、或者某创新性作品(比如在艺术、音乐、科学等方面)中的。
有关哥伦比亚大学的英语阅读理解
有关哥伦比亚大学的英语阅读理解Scientists have long understood that supermassive black holes weighing millions or billions of suns can tear apart stars that come too close.The black hotels gravity pulls harder on the nearest part of the star，an imbalance that pulls the star apart over a period of minutes or hours，once it gets close enough.Scientists say this Uneven pulling is not the only hazard facing the star.The strain of these unbalanced forces can also trigger a nuclear explosion powerful enough to destroy the star from within.Matthieu Brassart and Jean-Pierre Luminet of the Observatoire de Paris in Meudon，France1,carried out computer simulations of the final moments of such an unfortunate star’s life，as it veered towards a supermassive black hole.When the star gets close enough，the uneven forces flatten it into a pancake shape.Some previous studies had suggested this flattening would increase the density and temperature inside the star enough to trigger intense nuclear reactions that would tear it apart.But other studies had suggested that the picture would becomplicated by shock waves generated during the flattening process and that no nuclear explosion should occur.The new simulations investigated the effects of shock waves in detail，and found that even when their effects are included，the conditions favor a nuclear explosion.“There will be an explosion of the star —it will be completely destroyed,” Brassart says. Although the explosion obliterates the star，it saves some of the star’s matter from being devoured by the black hole.The explosion is powerful enough to hurl much of the star’s matter out of the black hole’s reach，he says.The devouring of stars by black holes may already have been observed，although at a much later stage.It is thought that several months after the event that rips the star apart，its matter starts swirling into the hole itself.It heats up as it does so，releasing ultraviolet light and X-rays.If stars disrupted near black holes really do explode，then they could in principle allow these events to be detected at a much earlier stage，says Jules Hatpern of Columbia University in New York，US2.“It may make it possible to see the disruption of that starimmediately if it gets hot enough,” he says.Brassart agrees.“Perhaps it can be observed in the X-rays and gamma rays，but it’s something that needs to be more studied,” he says.Supernova researcher Chris Fryer of the Los Alamos National Laboratory in Los Alamos，New Mexico，US3，says the deaths of these stars are difficult to simulate，and he is not sure whether the researchers have proven their case that they explode in the process.注释：1. the Observatoire de Paris in Meudon，France：位于法国默顿的巴黎天文台。
申请美国本科Essay的写作指导 范文分析
申请美国本科Essay的写作指导范文分析如今，美国本科申请的竞争愈演愈烈，对于众多美国名校申请者而言，在高中成绩、SAT、TOEFL等方面都能取得高分的情况下，究竟如何才能获得学校的青睐，从而争取到有限的录取名额？专家分析，在美国绝大多数学校都不面试国际学生的情况下，毫无疑问，申请Essay是学生展示自己的最好机会。
然而，众多学生在文书写作中却存在诸多问题，如：没有选择很好的Essay写作素材；回答学校的Essay题目偏题；语言、语法的表达错误等。
这些因素不仅使得学生没有很好地通过Essay这个环节向学校展现自我，而且会给自己的申请带来不利影响。
因此，专家建议学生在申请Essay写作过程中一定要找相关方面的留学专家进行把关，这样才能最大限度地向学校展现自己，发挥Essay在申请过程中的重要作用，，从而申请到最理想的学校。
下面，留学专家将通过具体的文书写作实例来向学生讲解申请Essay的写作技巧。
[我要留言咨询]• 芝加哥大学（University of Michigan）Essay I 题目：Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)• 学生原文：“Hi! I’m Shanlin ” “How’s that pronounced? Wait, don’t you have an English name?“ (the idea is to highlight som e conflict over whether it’s easier for you to give up and adopt an English name that’s not yours. We use the girl here as a device, so it’s okay to portray her as a little more ignorant and surprised by your Chinese name.)This happened the first time I traveled outside China and introduced myself to a girl at our dorm. Her confusion left me quite puzzled too, and I wondered if picking an English name would indeed help me fit in. I flipped through dictionaries and name databases, looking for the perfect name to identify myself with. Hours later, frustrated and still indecisive, I closed the book and gave up. I don’t need an English name.My Chinese name given by my grandfather represents the well wishes and love of my family. “Shan” means slow-paced, because my grandfather wants me to take the time to appreciate all that life has to offer; “Lin” means having a kind heart as pure as jade. I’m proud of my name, and I do my best to live up to it.To my family, their only child is leaving for her journey into young adulthood; she must study hard in school and make them proud of her accomplishments. To my friends, the silly girl they grew up with is going all the way across the world for college; she must send back amazing photos of her new adventures. To my country, I am the daughter who, despite being thousands of miles away, will always carry the greatest memories of growing up in China.And to me, Shanlin Hu, this is my exploration. I’ll always be Chinese, but as my geography expands, so wil l what I identify as my new community. I can’t wait to be a part of the Ann Arbor campus where I’ll make meet new people, learn about their cultures, celebrate new traditions, and teach everybody how to pronounce my Chinese name!• 修改后的文章：Living in Shanghai, I have a strong feeling towards the sea. What word might occur to people when they imagine the sea? Huge, endless, blue, shiny… however, when I come up to the shore in Shanghai, the word “dirty” strikes to my mind. What I sawwas far from an ocean paradise. Garbage barges slowly cut through the debris, while thick pools of oil lap against the shore.In recent years, our city has campaigned to reduce air and waste pollution. Iparticipated in the Johnson&Johnson’s Beach Clean-Up Day Project. I, together with other volunteers, worked two hours a day to collect the rubbish along the sea in the summer of 2012. After we finished the work,the scenes recurred in my mind: little boy kicked the beverage cans into the sea, drunken man threw away the bottle in his hand and visitors dropped their rubbish while they walked along the shore. We can send a volunteer team out every day, but it won’t solve the problem if our own people are the ones polluting the sea!Then I took the initiative to encourage clean and green living among my classmates and neighbors. Since I have hundredsof fans on my Weibo, I think it may be a great deal if my fans spread the ideas to their friends so that I started to post the information about environmental protection on my micro-blog. Fortunately, more and more people in our community had noticed the information on Weiboand more people had joined the campaign to pass the spirit of promoting a cleaner Shanghai.This is the community I belong to: calling for more people to protect the environment of Shanghai. I knowthere are still a lot of challenges on our way, but I will stick to that for the cityI love.• 留学专家点评：初稿是通过写自己名字体现自己属于的家庭，并为自己的名字而感到自豪。
哥大最爱的优质申请文书范文全解析秒杀名校的文书得这样写
哥大最爱的优质申请文书范文全解析秒杀名校的文书得这样写想要学校轻轻松松在你的申请材料上盖章批准，一份优质的申请文书是必不可少的。
文书写作其实就相当于是一个自我审视的过程。
成功的申请者注重策略，懂得把自己与那些有着差不多的GPA，TOEFL成绩，差不多的成就，奖励或人生经历的人区别开来。
虽然其他申请者可以清楚有效地写作，聪明的申请者则通过有目的地使自己与其他人区分开来在竞争中胜出。
这正是创造性、目的性和动人的写作的发挥作用之处。
如果你还不是很明白的话，点课台君为你们准备了文书范文分析，快来看吧。
Why did it work?1.an opening line that draw people in(一个吸引人的开场白)2.detailed opening story (非常讲究细节的开场故事)3.turning a specific incident into a deeper insight (从一个特定的故事中洞悉更深层次的内容)ing concrete examples when making abstract claims(使用抽象的说法时一定要运用实在的例子)ing small bits of humor and casual word choice (不经意的运用一些小幽默)6.an ending that stretches the insight into the future(结尾要有对未来的展望)How could it be even better?1.replace some of the clichéd language注意：口语化的词一定不能过多，要是用口语化的词一定要精心设计，使用的位置十分重要(如该篇文书中作者就在为了使父亲过于严厉的形象得到缓和的位置使用了口语化的词语，是比较合适的)。
e another example from recent life注意：文书中使用的故事最好能做到呼应的效果(如该篇文书中写到的第一个故事结束就结束了，如果作者能在别的地方或者做志愿者的经历中写一个类似的故事，就能起到首尾呼应的效果)反面教材该文书的问题在哪?1、模联的题材太常见了，如果你在模联的经历不是很特别或者对你的影响特别大，就尽量不要写了。
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哥伦比亚美国大学essay范文赏析近期有很多去美国本科留学的同学，咨询关于哥伦比亚美国大学essay的写作情况，天道小编为了帮助大家美国大学申请essay，下面为大家介绍一下哥伦比亚美国大学essay范文，供大家参考学习，希望对大家美国本科留学有所帮助。
准备美国大学申请essay的同学可以参考一下下面的内容，希望对大家的美国大学essay写作有所帮助。
哥伦比亚大学(Columbia University in the City of New York)，简称为哥大(Columbia)，是一所位于美国纽约市曼哈顿的世界著名研究型大学，于1754年根据英国国王乔治二世颁布的《国王宪章》而成立，属于私立八大私立常春藤盟校之一。
计划申请此学校的同学不妨一起来了解下哥伦比亚美国大学Essay范文赏析。
Columbia University哥伦比亚美国大学Essay范文 "sustainable Development in south Africa"As I sat at a table in the corner of a cafe, hunched over a press release I was writing, I asked myself, "Why is a youth advocate from Long Island, halfway around the world in South Africa this summer, debating issues of sustainable development at a United nations conference?" I needed to meet a deadline for the Youth Caucus at the World Summit on Sustainable Development (WSSD) after an exhausting but exhilarating day of lobbying. My goal was to help persuade world leaders at the largest United nations conference in history that pursuing sustainable development is essential for the future of our planet. Because I had attended a previous Un conference about children's rights, I understood the importance of sustainable development in this context. Then, I was chosen to represent SustainUS, a national network of American youth, at the WSSD. I raised all of the money needed for my trip. I was thrilled to witness the human spirit in its purest sense, taking collective action to care for the less fortunate around the globe.It was one thing to debate language in the conference document about goals set to provide people in developing nations with access to water. It was quite another tovisit Soweto, only a few kilometers away from the conference, and to meet poor Africans living in shanties with limited access to water. This observation embedded in my mind the seriousness of my work in a way that no statistic could describe. The challenge on paper seemed quite different from the harshness of Soweto and Alexandria and the long-suffering faces and pleading eyes of the beggars there. I reminded myself that I needed to work around the clock while I was in South Africa to help these impoverished people.After arriving in Johannesburg this past August, I traveled to the International Youth Summit. I drafted the youth declaration which was used for lobbying, and I helped to write a statement from the youth delegates for government representatives to read and consider while negotiating. While at the WSSD, aside from writing daily pressreleases that became Associated Press and reuters articles, I drafted speeches which were presented to the delegates, including over one hundred heads of state. I experienced an adrenaline rush when I felded questions from reporters during a press conference. These challenging situations were new learning opportunities for me and provided me with knowledge much different from what one learns in high school. I want to learn more about the histories of international fnancial institutions and the ways they interact with national governments.As a result of my attending the World Summit, I have gained a new perspective on global politics and its effects on people's lives. The thought that people from around the world can join together to solve a global issue never fails to impress and inspire me.My participation in the WSSD has taught me more about the convergence of politics, international relations and the environment than I have learned in any other activity or in the classroom. Working with others to reveal the crucial need for sustainable development is essential to our world's successful future. All of my experiences have helped me to understand how international meetings operate and to accept the responsibility that comes with the privilege to attend and contribute to the solution.申请美国哥伦比亚大学的Essay范文点评AnalysisSteve's essay gives us insight into his experiences as a youth advocate in South Africa and youth representative for the WSSD. This unique opportunity is obviously a great honor. Steve does a good job presenting specifc examples of his summer experiences and relating the larger lessons he learned from them.In his introduction, Steve might have helped contextualize the situation by explaining what it means to be a "youth delegate," how long the WSSD was going to last, why he needed to write a press release, and what kind of lobbying he was doing. While impressive, the frst paragraph in this essay is almost overwhelming because it contains so much information with limited explanation. Additionally, the reference to the SustainUS conference is confusing. It is unclear whether the next two sentences about fundraising for the trip and witnessing "the human spirit in its purest sense" refer to the SustainUS conference or the South Africa conference. Avoid the temptation to inundate readers with information and make sure that what you do write is clear and concise. Think of your college application as a package where you can include information about yourself through many different avenues—the essays are just one channel for introducing yourself to the admissions offcers.The second paragraph of the essay is strong because it focuses specifcally onSteve's experiences in Soweto. The contrast between the conference and the shantytowns is striking. Steve might have elaborated more on his experiences of meeting "poor Africans living in shanties with limited access to water" to further demonstrate why"this observation embedded in [his] mind the seriousness of [his] work in a way that no statistic could describe." Steve demonstrates his commitment to helping others in his assertion, "I needed to work around the clock while I was in South Africa to help these impoverished people." His essay would be even stronger if he could more explicitlyrelate this lesson to what he learned from the International Youth Summit. Clarifying the distinctions between the Youth Caucus at the WSSD, the International Youth Summit, and the World Summit would help readers be on the same page as Steve.The ease withwhich Steve uses these terms clearly demonstrates his familiarity with government and politics. However, it is important to remember that college admissions essays are typically written for the general reader, rather than a specialist reader. Exceptionsto this include essays that ask about specifc career paths.The conclusion of the essay cleanly ties together Steve's diverse experiences and looks towards the future, where one suspects that Steve will consider working towards sustainable development, both in and out of the classroom. Had Steve applied to aschool with a strong international development or political science program, he might have also referenced these specifc university assets to tailor his essay for thatspecifc university.关于哥伦比亚美国大学Essay范文赏析就为大家介绍到这里，希望对大家的美国大学申请essay有所帮助，大家想了解更多关于美国大学essay的信息，请关注天道留学美国本科留学频道，有问题可以咨询天道在线顾问老师。