三打白骨精英语话剧搞笑剧本附中文

❖ 哈哈！伏魔圈？太小儿科了吧。
❖ B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
❖
我也可以玩吗？
❖ J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
❖ 不好意思，姑娘。我们在斗地主，三个人够了。
bring these pictures of beautiful girls! ❖ 八戒，我跟你讲了多少次了，不要带这种美女的图片！ ❖ E: Oh, boss!Forgive me。(伸手拿回) ❖ 哦，师傅！原谅我吧。 ❖ T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west ❖ 为师先替你保管，到西天了再给你。
idea?
❖ S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
❖ 没问题！ （白骨精躲在一旁偷看）
❖ J: This is…..?
❖ S: Electric net! I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
❖ 伏魔圈！只要待在里面，就没有妖怪能接近！
❖
噢……女儿，老婆子！谁干的？！！！
❖ S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
❖ 妖怪，我要打死你！
❖ T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
❖ 你，你……你已经伤了三条人命了！
❖ S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
❖ B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
❖ 噢，机会来了！炸弹！
❖ T: Bomb?(打出)
❖ B1: Double King!
❖ 王炸！
❖ T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!
❖ 喔…我赢了！嗯…，姑娘，你是老手吧。进来教我！
❖ S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
❖
啊，妖怪！
❖ B1: （倒)Ah…… 惨叫声
❖ T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
❖ 悟空！你在干嘛！她是我的师傅!
❖ S: She is a monster!
❖ 她是妖怪！
❖ T: I,I can't understand......What happened? ❖ 发生什么事了？ ❖ S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster
changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you! ❖ 师傅，你应该提高一下智商了！这个妖怪为了骗你变化 成三个模样！ ❖ T: How,发现的？ ❖ S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉) ❖ ……猴子的直觉。 ❖ T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍 不理)I'm sorry(小声) ❖ 悟空，这次是为师错怪了你，对不起！ ❖ S: What? ❖ T: I'm sorry. ❖ S: Em? Louder,please? ❖ 嗯？麻烦您大声点行吗？ ❖ T: I......am......sorry..... (S 捂耳)
lesson!(变成太婆) ❖ 哼!孙悟空，让我教训一下你！ ❖ B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter? ❖ （长老）请问，你们见过我女儿没？ ❖ T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住尸体)No,sorry! ❖ S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell! ❖ 好你个妖怪，我打死你！ ❖ E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T) ❖ 师傅，你还好吧？
❖ 不，他们不是人！都是妖怪变的！
❖ T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
❖ 妖怪？你才是妖怪！你走，不要再让我看见你！！
❖ S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》 ❖ J: boss, brother Monkey is....... ❖ 师傅，猴哥这是…… ❖ T: Don't mention that guy any more! ❖ 不要再提他了！ ❖ B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) ❖ T: （惊）You are...... ❖ B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退) ❖ 唐僧，你好愚蠢！ ❖ B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha...... ❖ 我要吃你的肉，哈哈哈哈…… ❖ S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later. ❖ T: Wukong? ❖ 悟空 ❖ E: Oh,Brother Monkey!（猴哥） ❖ J: Our hero is back! ❖ 我们的英雄回来了！
❖ E: But……
❖ 但是……
❖ T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
❖ 阿弥陀佛，色即是空，空即是色！地图？
❖ E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
❖ T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal! ❖ 八戒！不要忘了是谁吃了我的干粮！ ❖ J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother
monkey is away….. ❖ 但是，师傅，假如妖怪趁猴哥不在来了呢…… ❖ T: Em…It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any
❖ T: Em……ok，we will stay in it!
❖ 嗯……好的，我们会呆在里面的！
❖ S: Bye!(飞走)
❖ 俺老孙去也。
❖ T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
❖ 我们斗地主吧！
❖ B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
Three Times’ Beating Monster.
三打白骨精
T:唐僧(A) S:孙悟空 (B) E:猪八戒(C) J:沙僧(D) B:白骨精(E) B1:B变成村姑 B2:B变成太婆 B3:B变化成老
❖ T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now? ❖ 阿弥陀佛，我们这是到哪了？ ❖ S: Bajie,map! ❖ 八戒，地图！ ❖ E: (摸出，递给S) ❖ S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E） ❖ 师傅，请看。 ❖ T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t
❖ J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
❖ 看，这是几？
❖ T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)
❖ B3:Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
❖ 孙悟空，游戏结束了！
❖ B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
❖ S: You will what(凶相)?
❖ 再说你怎么样？
❖ E: I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤). ❖ 我帮你抓虱子。 ❖ S: Hm! ❖ 哼！ ❖ T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could
you go to get me some food? ❖ 悟空，我也有点饿了，你能去化些斋饭来吃吗？ ❖ E: You see , boss is hungry,too! ❖ 你看，师傅不也饿了吗！
❖ 给，嗯……我们已经到白虎山了！哎呀，我走不动了！再 说，我这肚子也饿了。
❖ S: Fat Pig!
❖ 肥猪!
❖ E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
❖ 死猴子，有本事再说一遍，再说……
❖ T: Nonsense!(深呼吸) ❖ S: Oh,please don’t…… ❖ 噢，师傅，别…… ❖ T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the
door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱) ❖ 太晚了！ Once more……(紧箍咒) ❖ S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头) ❖ T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you! ❖ 悟空，为师早就跟你讲了！（不要乱杀生） ❖ B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a