生活大爆炸The Big Bang Theory 第三季中英剧本 第23集
生活大爆炸英文字幕
生活大爆炸英文字幕《The Big Bang Theory: A Celebration of Nerdy Life》。
The Big Bang Theory, a popular American sitcom, has captured the hearts of millions of viewers worldwide with its hilarious and heartwarming portrayal of the lives of a group of nerdy friends. The show revolves around the lives of four socially awkward scientists and their equally quirky friends as they navigate through the ups and downs of life, love, and friendship.One of the most endearing aspects of The Big Bang Theory is its celebration of nerd culture. The show's characters are unapologetically passionate about their interests, whether it's comic books, video games, or science fiction. Their enthusiasm for all things nerdy is infectious, and it has helped to break down stereotypes about what it means to be a "nerd." The show has shown that being smart and passionate about niche interests is not only acceptable but also something to be celebrated.The Big Bang Theory also shines a light on the importance of friendship and community. Despite their differences, the characters in the show form a tight-knit group that supports each other through thick and thin. They may not always understand each other's interests or quirks, but they always have each other's backs. This sense of camaraderie and acceptance is a powerful message that resonates with viewers of all backgrounds.Furthermore, The Big Bang Theory has also tackled important issues such as mental health, relationships, and personal growth. The characters face their own struggles and challenges, and the show does not shy away from addressing these issues in a sensitive and meaningful way. Through their experiences, the characters learn and grow, and viewers are able to relate to their journeys on a personal level.In conclusion, The Big Bang Theory has made a significant impact on popular culture by celebrating nerd culture and promoting the importance of friendship, acceptance, and personal growth. The show's witty humor, relatable characters, andheartfelt moments have made it a beloved staple in the world of television. As the show comes to an end, its legacy will continue to inspire and entertain audiences for years to come.。
生活大爆炸第三季23
没问题
You got it.
天 拉杰 别这样
Oh,Raj,no.
人们花了无数美元发明了英特网
Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet
嗯 或许吧
Yeah,maybe.
嗨 我想看看这个激光
Hey,I want to see this laser thing.
但那个派对怎么办
Oh,but what about the party?
只不过是个惊喜派对而已 什么时候到完全没所谓
It's a surprise party-- doesn't matter when we get there.
还能有地理位置的特性
can have the qualities of a geographic location.
唔 这很简单
Oh,it's very simple.
莱纳德住在一个叫做"请别离开"的小镇里
Leonard was living in a little town called "Please don't leave me"
我觉得你可能会想来看看
I thought you might want to see it.
这完全说不通啊
That makes no sense.
你怎么可能从月球上弹射东西
How can you bounce stuff off the moon?
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E8
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E08 – The Adhesive Duck DeficiencyScene: A camp site.Howard: How much time do we have?Leonard: Uh, t-minus five hours, 37 minutes to onset of meteor shower.Raj:Okay, our position is 34.48 degrees north, 118.31 west. That means the azimuth should be 168.22 degrees relative to magnetic north with an elevation of 49.93.Howard: Anything yet?Leonard: Uh, we have a signal, but there’s no frame lock.Howard: Hang on, how about now?Raj: We did it. We have the west coast feed of HBO. Howard: Ooh, Real Sex.Raj:Big deal. Every time I watch that show it’s old women putting condoms on cucumbers.Howard: Alright, let’s see what’s on the east coast feed.Leonard: Oh, hey. Dune.Raj:Not a great movie, but look at that beautiful desert.Leonard: Too bad Sheldon couldn’t come with us. Raj: Yes, it’s not the same without him. (They all laugh)Howard:Oh, this sucks, I’m switching back to Real Sex.Scene: The apartment.Sheldon:Sheldon’s log, stardate 63345.3. While my colleagues are off observing the Leonid meteor shower, I have remained behind to complete my paper on the decays of highly excited massive string states. Although my research is going well I do miss the warmth of human companionship. (He laughs)Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Sheldon: And good evening to you, Siam Palace. This is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I’m going to be dining alone this evening, so I’ll be reducing my usual order. I’d like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and, uh, one half of the golden treasure for two. Oh, for heaven’s sake, in the mid-18th century, King Rama IV of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely, you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings.Penny(voice off): Sheldon help!Sheldon: I need to go, but you keep in mind that my sharply worded comments on recently took down a local muffin store. (At Penny’s door, knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny..Penny: Come in! Hurry!Sheldon: Penny?Penny:I’m back here.Sheldon: (At Penny’s bedroom door, knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny..Penny: Oh, for god’s sakes, I’m in the bathroo m! Sheldon: Shall I come back at a better time? Penny: Get in here! Hurry! Don’t you dare knock. Sheldon: Hello.Penny: I slipped in the shower, and I think I dislocated my shoulder.Sheldon: Not surprising. You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction.Penny: What?Sheldon: Tubs are slippery.Penny: I know. I slipped.Sheldon: I have a series of whimsical duck stickers on the bottom of my tub.Penny: Yeah, okay, whatever. Will you just turn the water off and help me up?Sheldon: They’re holding umbrellas.Penny: What?Sheldon: The ducks in my tub.Penny: Uh-huh.Sheldon: They’re whimsical because ducks have neither the need for, nor the ability to use umbrellas. Penny: Oh, my god. I got to go to the emergency room.Sheldon:Well, assuming you’re correct that your right humerus is no longer seated in the glenoid socket, I would certainly think so.Penny: Okay, can you drive me?Sheldon: I don’t drive.Penny: Well, I can’t drive!Sheldon: Well, it seems we’ve reached an impasse.Penny: Ow.Sheldon:But I could call you a cab or an ambulance.Penny:No, no, no, I can’t wait that long, you got to help me, please.Sheldon: All right. Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress.Penny:No one’s saying that. Let’s go.Sheldon:Well, it does seem rather ironic that for want of 99-cent adhesive ducks, we both might die in a fiery car crash.Scene: The camp site.Leonard: I wish Penny didn’t have to wo rk, she loves camping.Raj:Yeah, that would have been great. You and Penny having sex in the tent while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus.Howard:Okay, the best I can tell, there are eight other campsites nearby. Mostly science nerds like us, but just over yon ridge are two not unattractive middle school teachers who reek of desperation. Raj: Wow. Wonderful. How old are they? Howard: Oh I don’t know, 50, 55.Raj: Oh, menopause, nature’s birth control. Leonard: Come on, you guys can’t be that h ard up. Howard: I am.Raj: Yeah, me, too.Howard: Look, they gave me homemade cookies. Leonard: Of course, they did. That’s what grandmothers do.Raj: So, what are we waiting for?Howard: Relax, I said we’d stop by a little later after they have their nap.Raj: Good idea. They’ll be refreshed.Howard: Cookie?Raj: Y eah, thank you. Mmmm.Leonard: Mmmm, not bad.Raj:Yeah, very tasty. Well, so tell me more about these teachers.Howard: Not much to tell. They had a VW Microbus and were wearing tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirts. Raj: Huh. Mmm. Good cookies.Scene: Penny’s bedroom.Sheldon:I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. Which panties do you wear on Mondays?Penny: I don’t need panties, I just need shorts and a shirt.Sheldon:My mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.Penny: One was already in an accident. Sheldon: That doesn’t mean one won’t be in another, especially if I’m driving.Penny: Clothes, Sheldon. I need clothes! Sheldon: Okay, here.Penny: Seriously? Those shorts with that top? Sheldon: All right.Penny:No… No… Oh, that’s cute.Sheldon:We should have you checked for a concussion.Penny: Okay, now, you got to help me put these on. Sheldon: All right.Penny: But don’t look.Sheldon: Don’t l ook?Penny:I don’t want you to see me naked. Sheldon:Oh. Well, that’s understandable. You may be interested to know that a prohibition against looking is well established in heroic mythology. Uh, Lot and his wife, Perseus and Medusa, Orpheus and Eurydice.Penny: Yeah, great.Sheldon: They always look. It never ends well. Penny: Ok, now you gotta help me get my arm into the sleeve.Sheldon: Ok.Penny: Is that my arm?Sheldon: It doesn’t feel like an arm.Penny: Then, maybe you should let it go. Sheldon: All righty.Scene: The camp site.Leonard:Stars are pretty, aren’t they?Howard:Up above the world so high, like little diamonds in the sky.Raj: That’s beautiful, dude. You should… You should write that down before someone steals it. Howard: So, when do the meteors get here?Raj: The meteors don’t get here, the earth is moving into their path.Leonard: I can feel it. I can feel the earth moving. It’s moving too fast. Raj, slow it down.Raj:Okay, how’s that?Leonard: Better. Thanks.Howard: Stars are pre tty, aren’t they?Leonard:What’s so funny?Raj:It’s your American accent. Everything you say sounds stupid. (With an American accent) Stars are pretty, aren’t they?Scene: Penny’s car.Sheldon: For the record, I should let you know this is my first time driving an actual motor vehicle. Penny: You have your learner’s permit, right? Sheldon:Yes, and I have logged a considerable number of hours on a simulator.Penny: Good.Sheldon:Didn’t work out well.Penny: All right, can we please go?Sheldon: One mome nt. According to my driver’s ed book, a side mirror is properly adjusted when a portion of the is driver’s door handle is visible in the lower right corner. There’s the handle. Oh, no, too far, bringing it back. Optimized. Now, where is the switch to adjust the passenger side mirror? Penny: It’s right there.Sheldon: Where is the passenger side mirror? Penny: In a parking lot in Hollywood. Now, can we please go?Sheldon: Yes. As soon as I adjust my seat. Whee! Oh, dear. I’m going to have to start again.Scene: The camp site.Raj:If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king. Leonard: I hate my name. It has nerd in it. Len nerd.Howard: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie. Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. At first. Leonard:You know what’s a cool name? Angelo. That has angel and jell-o in it.Howard: It was my Uncle Murray’s funeral. We were all back at my Aunt Barbara’s house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen.Raj: One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits, they hate me and don’t come. I am embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.Leonard: People could call me Angie. Yo, Angie, how’s it goin’?Howard:To this day, I can’t look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed. Oh, cousin Jeanie.Scene: Penny’s car.Penny: Could you please drive a little faster? Sheldon:Oh, I think we’re going sufficiently fast. What’s that?Penny: Nothing. The engine does that sometimes. Sheldon:That can’t be nothing, the check engine light is on. We need to find a service station. Penny: No. The light has been on since I bought the car.Sheldon:All the more reason to consult with a mechanic before it explodes.Penny:It’s not going to explode, just keep driving. Warp speed ahead, Mr. Spock.Sheldon: Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was the science officer, and I guarantee you that if he ever saw the Enterprise’s check engine light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately. Penny: Oh, god, I’m gonna lose the arm. Sheldon: Oh, oh, red light, release accelerator and slowly apply the brake. Nailed it. While we have a moment, may I ask you a question?Penny: What?Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for soup tattooed on your right buttock?Penny: It’s not soup, it’s courage.Sheldon: No, it isn’t. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.Penny:How did you see it? You said you wouldn’t look.Sheldon:Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.Scene: The camp site.Howard: Anything?Leonard: No. That was the last pudding cup. Howard: No! What about Slim Jims?Leonard: That’s what he used to eat his pudding, remember?Raj: Right! That was so good! Sweety and meaty at the same time.Howard: Wait. Wait, wait. So you’re saying we’re out of food?Leonard: The only thing in here are blue ice packs.Raj:I know they’re poison, but they look like big,yummy otter pops.Leonard: Oh, god, I am so hungry.Howard:Me too. Check and see if we have any more pudding.Leonard: Okay.Scene: The hospital waiting room.Sheldon:All right, there’s no need to bark at me. According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk, you’ll be seen after the man who claims to be having a heart attack, but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone. We have to fill these out. Describe illness or injury. Penny: I dislocated my shoulder.Sheldon: All right. And how did the accident occur? Penny: You ready know that.Sheldon: Cause of accident, lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history. Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes?Penny: No.Sheldon: Kidney disease?Penny: No.Sheldon: Migraines?Penny: Getting one.Sheldon: Are you currently pregnant?Penny: No.Sheldon: Are you sure? You look a bit puffy. Penny: Change migraine to yes.Sheldon: When was your last menstrual period? Penny: Oh, next question.Sheldon:I’ll put, in progress. Okay, moving to psychiatric disorders, list all major behavioural diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety, etcetera. Penny: Oh, my god, what the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?Sheldon: Episodes of sub psychotic rage. Penny: Ass.Sheldon:Possible Tourette’s. All right, moles, lesions or other skin conditions. Soup tattoo on right buttock.Penny:Hey, Sheldon, Sheldon, look, I am scared and in a lot of pain. Could you please just take a break from being you for just a minute and try being, I don’t know, comforting?Sheldon:I’m sorry. There, there. Everything’s going to be fine. Sheldon’s here.Penny: Thanks. That’s much better.Scene: The camp site.Raj: Oh, I’m so hungry!Leonard: Will you shut up? We’re all hungry. Howard:Okay, our objective is the boy scout campsite to the east. Easy target. Big doughy scout master, couple of cubs, most webelos.Leonard: What kind of score are we looking at? Howard:Hot dogs, buns, s’mores, I mean, it’s a freaking 7-11.Leonard: All right, everyone grab flashlights. Howard: Oh, my god, could it be? Yes! My mother put an I love you brisket in my backpack. Leonard: Quick, get forks.Howard:You don’t need forks. It’s so tender, it falls apart in your hands.Raj: He’s right.Leonard: I feel like we’re forgetting something important.Raj: Me, too. But what? (Behind them, the meteor shower has begun)Howard:Maybe a tupperware bowl of roasted potatoes and carrots?Leonard and Raj together: Yes! Yes!Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon: Now remember, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so, uh, don’t operate heavy machinery. Try not to choke on your own drool.Penny:Wait. You have to help me get into bed. Sheldon has to get me into bed. Bet you never thought I’d say that.Sheldon:Yes. The charm of your drug addled candour knows no bounds.Penny: You kn ow, people think you’re this weird robot man who’s so annoying all the time, and you totally are, but then it’s like that movie Wall-E at the end. You’re so full of love, and you can save a plant and get fat people out of the floaty chairs. Sheldon:That’s a fairly laboured metaphor, but I appreciate the sentiment behind it.Penny:Sing “Soft Kitty” to me.Sheldon:“Soft Kitty” is for when you’re sick. You’re not sick.Penny: Injured and drugged is a kind of sick. Sheldon (singing): Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur…Penny: Wait, wait. Let’s sing it as a round. I’ll start. Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur… See that’s where you come in. I’ll start over. Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur… I’ve got all night, Sheldon. Soft kitty, war m kitty… (Sheldon joins in with the round) little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.Scene: The camp site. Raj is telling a ghost story with the torch on his face.Raj: …And the next morning when he woke up, he rolled over and reali zed… duh-duh-duh! …she was his cousin.Howard:That’s still not funny.Raj(imitating him): That’s still not funny.Howard: And she was my second cousin.Raj (imitating him): And she was my second cousin. Howard: You’re a real douche.Raj: Who cares? You slept with your cousin.。
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E11
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E11 – The Maternal CongruenceScene: The apartment.Penny:Oh, I always tear up when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes.Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which could lead to congestive heart failure.Leonard(singing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.Penny: You really didn’t like it, Sheldon?Sheldon: No, on the contrary. I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character, and I was really with him right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved Christmas. What a buzz kill that was.Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.Sheldon:Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account. Leonard (continuing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Penny: I just love decorating the Christmas tree. It makes me feel like a little girl again.Leonard: We didn’t have a tree when I was growing up.Penny: Really? Why not?Leonard:Mmm, in my family, holidays weren’t so much c elebrated as studied for their anthropological and psychological implications on human society.Penny: Oh, sounds festive. Did you at least give presents?Leonard: Mmm, in a way. We presented papers, and then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each other.Penny: Sheldon, what about you? Did you have a Christmas tree?Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they induced neighbourhood-wide seizures.Penny: So I take it you don’t want to help us trim the tree.Sheldon: I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request that you add this.Penny: What is it?Sheldon: You’re kidding, right? It’s a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.Penny: Oh, sure, sure, yeah. Very Christmassy.Sheldon: Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree. Leonard: Here we go.Sheldon: December 25, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is born. Jesus, on the other hand, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday that celebrated the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. Which, frankly, sounds like more fun than 12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake.Leonard: Merry Newton-mas, everyone.Sheldon: I sense that’s not sincere, although I have no idea why.Penny: No, it’s fine. Look, Sir Isaac can go righ t next to this little candy cane.Sheldon: No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree.Sheldon:I understand. You dispute Newton’s claim that he invented calculus and you want to put Gottfried Leibniz on the top.Leonard: Yeah, you got me. I’m a Leibniz man.Sheldon:Well, perhaps when your mother gets here, she’ll talk some sense into you.Penny:What? Your… your mother’s coming? When?Leonard: Tomorrow.Penny: When were you going to tell me?Leonard: Um, tomorrow?Penny: Why were you keeping this a secret?Leonard: Well, I just, I thought…Sheldon:If I can interject here, obviously Leonard is concerned that his mother won’t approve of you as his mate.Penny: Why wouldn’t she approve of me? I’m adorable.Leonard: You are, it’s just…Sheldon: If I can interject again. Leonard comes from a remarkably high-achieving family, who have all chosen high-achieving partners. He probably feels that it’s doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu. Penny:Hey, it’s a big menu. There’s two pages just for desserts.Leonard: I know. And those specials, they change every day.Penny: Okay, you know what? It’s lame when I say it, it’s just ridiculous when you pile on.Leonard: Okay, sorry.Penny: So what did she say when you told her we were going out?Leonard:Um…Penny: You didn’t tell her we were going out, did you?Leonard: Um…Penny: Why not?Leonard:Um…Sheldon: Leonard, I’m no expert on meditation, but if you’re trying to calm yourself down, I believe the word is Om.Scene: Leonard’s car.Beverley: It was so nice of you to come all the way down to the airport to pick me up.Sheldon: No trouble at all.Leonard:I drove, Mother. I’m driving now.Beverley: Yes, dear. Mommy’s proud. I’ve been meaning to thank you for your notes on my paper disproving quantum brain dynamic theory.Sheldon: My pleasure. For a non-physicist, you have a remarkable grasp of how electric dipoles in the brain’s water molec ules could not possibly form a Bose condensate.Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. When did you send my mom notes on a paper?Sheldon: August 16th. Right after her carpal tunnel surgery.Beverley: Oh, did I thank you for the flowers?Sheldon: You did.Beverley: I don’t really like flowers.Sheldon: Neither do I, but it’s the social convention.Beverley:It is, isn’t it?Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. You had surgery?Beverley: Yes, and Sheldon sent me flowers.Beverley: Then what was all that wait, wait, wait about?Leonard:I just don’t understand why he knows more about your life than I do.Beverley:Well, I would assume it’s because Sheldon and I stay in touch due to mutual interest and respect, while you avoid me, due to unresolved childhood issues.Sheldon: It’s what we think caused your narcissistic personality disorder. We discussed it at length during our last video chat. Although how we got onto the subject of you is baffling.Beverley:Yes, but we are on the subject, so I’m obliged to ask, Leonard, how are you?Leonard: Fine, Mom. How are you?Beverley: Mmm, menopausal.Leonard: Now I’m less fine.Beverley: Have you heard your brother has gotten engaged?Leonard: No. Sheldon, why didn’t you tell me?Sheldon: My bad. I did send a gift from both of us.Beverley:She’s a remarkable girl. The youngest appeals court judge in New Jersey and a two-time Olympic bronze medallist.Leonard: You must be very happy.Beverley:Why? I’m not marrying her. So, how about you? Are you seeing anyone intere sting?Sheldon:Well, I’m not sure about interesting, but…Leonard: Not the time, Sheldon.Sheldon: Very well. Shall we switch topics to Isaac Newton v. Gottfried Leibniz?Beverley:It’s all right, Sheldon. I will just pretend that Leonard’s not withholdin g information. Although, I will point out, Leonard, that I am a trained psychiatrist and you are exhibiting the same secretive behavioural tics that accompanied your learning to masturbate.Sheldon: Isn’t she brilliant, Leonard? How I envy you.Scene: The apartment.Beverley: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings toward one another?Howard: What? No.Beverley: Why not?Howard:Because we don’t have latent homosexual feelings toward one anoth er.Beverley: I see.Howard: No, really. I have a girlfriend now.Beverley: And where is she this evening?Howard: She had to go out of town. Her grandmother died.Beverley: I see. Her grandmother died.Howard: Honest to God. Leonard, tell her I have a girlfriend.Leonard:I don’t know what you’re talking about.Howard:What do you mean you don’t know what I’m talking about? Tell her I have a girlfriend!Leonard:All right. He “has” a “girlfriend.”Howard: Her name is Bernadette, she’s working as a waitress, but she’s going to school to be a microbiologist.Beverley:Howard, keep in mind that the more passionately you stick to this construct, the more you’re hurting your partner.Howard(to Raj who has whispered to him): Do you really think your lips in my ear is helping?Penny (arriving): Hi. Sorry I’m late.Leonard: Oh, glad you’re here, uh, sit down, I’ll get you a plate. Mom, you remember Penny.Beverley: Oh, yes, the waitress slash actress with the unresolved father issues. Has he finally come to terms with his little slugger growing breasts?Penny:Well, he sent me a football and a catcher’s mitt for Christmas, so I’m going to say no.Howard: If it helps, we’re all good with your breasts.Beverley: Classic overcompensation. Oh, speaking of fathers, Leona rd, that reminds me, I’m divorcing yours.Leonard: What?Beverley: Yes. He was cheating on me.Leonard: No!Beverley: Yes, with some waitress from the university cafeteria. Can you believe it? A waitress? Oh, no offense, dear.Penny: No, it sounded like a compliment.Leonard: When did this happen?Beverley:Mmm, well, let’s see. Sheldon, when did I leave Leonard’s father?Sheldon: September 22nd.Beverley: Oh, yes, that’s right. The weekend after Leonard’s dog died.Leonard: Mitzy’s dead?Sheldon: She was old and blind, Leonard. What choice did we have?Leonard: I don’t believe this. Why am I the last to know?Beverley:Excuse me, Leonard, I am the one who’s getting a divorce, Mitzy is the one who is dead. Why are you the one making a fuss?Leonard:You’re right. I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m sorry, I’m way out of line!Beverley:So, Penny, what’s new in your life?Penny: Nothing. Not a damn thing.Scene: Penny’s car.Beverley: Thank you for driving me back to my hotel.Penny:Oh, it’s not a problem.Beverley: I was going to ask Leonard to do it, but he seemed a bit emotionally unstable and you don’t want someone like that operating heavy machinery.Penny: No, you do not.Beverley: Your check engine light is on.Penny: Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that. So, uh, you must be devastated about your divorce. Beverley:Oh, not at all. But I am a bit distressed to be in a vehicle that’s not subjected to regular maintenance.Penny:Come on, I mean, you’re not upset that your marriage is over?Beverley: Well, initially I felt so mething akin to grief and perhaps anger, but that’s the natural reaction of the limbic system to being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.Penny: Sure, sure.Beverley:Thankfully, my shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact that I haven’t had intercour se with him in eight years.Penny: Eight years?Beverley: Oh, that’s nothing. I’ve been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.Penny: Yikes. What’s so funny?Beverley: That’s exactly what I say during orgasms. Yikes.Penny: You know what? I could use a drink. Do you want to stop for a drink?Beverley: Oh, I don’t drink.Penny: I do, I’ll teach you.Scene: Leonard’s bedroom.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Leonard: What is it?Sheldon: I made tea.Leonard:I don’t want tea.Sheldon:I didn’t make tea for you. This is my tea.Leonard: Then why are you telling me?Sheldon:It’s a conversation starter.Leonard:That’s a lousy conversation starter.Sheldon:Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Che ckmate.Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?Sheldon: What I want is to be departing the Starship Enterprise in a one-man shuttle craft headed to the planetoid I rule known as Sheldon Alpha Five.Leonard: I want that too. Why are you here?Sheldon: To comfo rt you, of course. No, that’s not going to work at all, I’ll comfort you from over here. Leonard, what you’re experiencing is a classic Jungian crisis in which the aging individual mourns the loss of the never-to-be realized ideal family unit.Leonard: Tha nk you, that’s very comforting.Sheldon:That’s not the comforting part.Leonard:It’s not?Sheldon: No, no. The comforting part is that the Germans have a term for what you’re feeling. Weltschmerz. It means the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is to a hypothetical, idealized world. Leonard: You’re right, I do feel better.Sheldon: Well, the Germans have always been a comforting people. Just remember, Leonard, where your biological family has failed you, you always have me, your surrogate family.Leonard: You’re my surrogate family?Sheldon:If it’s any consolation, I’m not happy about it either. Good night.Scene: A bar.Penny: Okay, now this time try drinking it all at once.Beverley: Yikes.Penny: I’ve been responsible for my own buz z since 2003. Another round for me and my homegirl. Beverley: I feel a spreading warmth through my extremities.Penny: As long as you don’t feel it running down your pants, you’re fine.Beverley:Oh, that is fascinating. I’m noticing an immediate lowering of my inhibitions. For example, I’m seriously considering asking that busboy to ravish me in the alleyway while I eat cheesecake. What do you think?Penny: Well, we are known for our cheesecake. Hit us again.Beverley: Yes. If a little is good, more must be better.Penny: Hey, Bev, guess what?Beverley: What?Penny: I’m sleeping with your son.Beverley: Really? Which one?Penny: The one from whom I live across the hall from.Beverley:Well, that’s convenient. How did his penis turn out?Penny: Oh, Beverly, I can’t talk to my boyfriend’s mother about his penis.Beverley: Oh, fair enough. What can you tell me, if anything, about that busboy’s penis?Penny:Actually, I’ve only had the cheesecake. One more time. You know, Leonard did not want to tell you we were dating.Beverley: Really? Well, that means he’s either embarrassed about the relationship or he doesn’t care enough about his mother to tell her he’s in one. Either way, one of us should be insulted.Penny: Well, let’s go find out who.Beverley: You go ge t a taxi. I’m gonna slip my business card into that busboy’s back pocket, cupping his firm, right buttock as I do so.Scene: The apartment.Penny: Leonard?Beverley: Sonny boy!Penny: Get out here! Your mommy wants to talk to you!Leonard: What the hell is going on?Penny: You’re in trouble.Beverley: Why didn’t you tell me you were tapping my homegirl? Did I say that right?Penny: Yeah, not bad, not bad.Leonard: Are you guys drunk?Beverley: Well, I hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del T aco? Now, how could you not tell me you were in a relationship with this lovely, charming young woman?Penny: Oh, thank you.Beverley: You’re welcome. Is it because she’s uneducated, trapped in a menial service position?Penny: What the hell happened to lovely and charming?Leonard:How come you didn’t tell me that you and Father were getting a divorce? How come you didn’t tell me you had surgery? How come you didn’t tell me my dog died?Beverley: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What I hear you saying is that you want a more intimate mother-son relationship.Leonard: I do.Beverley (gives him an uncomfortable hug): There. It’s late. Now, go to bed. I’m getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart.Penny: That’s the Del Taco.Sheldon: Why is Leonard softly banging his head against his bedroom door?Beverley: Speaking of warm feelings, come here. (She grabs Sheldon and kisses him) No, I’d rather have the busboy.Scene: Leonard’s car.Beverley: Thank you for taking me to the airport.Sheldon: You’re very welc ome.Leonard: Once again, I’m driving. I’m right here.Beverley: Please, I am very hungover and in no mood to satisfy your need for approval. Sheldon, I do hope you’ll forgive me for my inappropriate behaviour last night.Sheldon: I don’t blame you. You we re intoxicated.Beverley: Thank you.Sheldon: I blame Penny.Penny: I blame Penny, too. Bad Penny.Leonard: Wait a minute, what are you talking about? What inappropriate behaviour?Beverley: I think it’s best that you not know.Sheldon: Agreed.Penny: Agreed.Leonard: What the hell, agreed.Beverley: And I want you to take very good care of this young woman.Penny: Oh, thank you, Beverly.Beverley: You’re welcome. She doesn’t have much in the way of career prospects, don’t make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.Leonard: Mother, remember when I was complaining that you don’t communicate with me enough? Beverley: Yes, dear.Leonard: I’m over it.Penny (finishing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la-la。
生活大爆炸The Big Bang Theory 第三季中英剧本 第22集
等等 Hang on. 我今晚能睡你沙发上吗 Can I sleep on your couch tonight? 可以 Uh,well,you can try, 不过对门的人一直很吵 but the people across the hall are being very noisy. 你听到了吧 You heard that,huh? 显然 一个想调恒温器 Apparently,the one fella tried to adjust the thermostat, 另一个又发疯了 then the other fella went bat-crap crazy. 你也觉得他是疯子吧 So you agree,he's nuts. 没他的室友那么疯 Well,not as nuts as the guy who chooses to live with him. 信不信由你 我刚认识他时他更疯 Believe it or not,he was worse when I met him. 我才不信呢 Oh,I do not believe that. 你太傻太天真了 You are so naive. 就像七年前的我 Just like I was seven years ago. 我刚开始在大学工作 I'd just started at the university. 请问 谢尔顿·库珀家在哪 Excuse me,I'm looking for Sheldon Cooper's apartment. 你是来看房的吧 Oh,I bet you're here to check out the room for rent. -对 -兄弟 快跑
我知道我说了什么 I know what I said. 我也知道你说了什么 I know what you said. 我还知道我妈在1992年3月5日说了什么 I know what my mother said on March 5,1992. 第六惰性气体是什么 What is the sixth noble gas? -什么 -你说你是科学家 - What? - You said you're a scientist. 第六惰性气体是什么 What is the sixth noble gas? 氡? Uh,radon? 你是问我还是回答我 Are you asking me or telling me? 回答你? Telling you? 回答你 Telling you. 好 下一个问题 All right,next question. [星际迷航中初代和下一代进取号的舰长] 柯克还是皮卡尔 Kirk or Picard? 好难抉择 Oh,uh,well,that's tricky. 初代比下一代好看 Um,Original Series over Next Generation, 但皮卡尔比柯克强 but Picard over Kirk. 正确 Correct.
The big bang theory生活大爆炸 第四季第23集剧本
Hey, do me a favor and take table seven.You mean the one with my 118-Pound Rock-Hard stud of a fianc Who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?Nah, i prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-BoyfriendAnd his gorgeous, successful and sophisticated girlfriend,Who makes me feel like a toothless okie.Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?Oh, please-- You're not that kind of person.I know.But if she orders something low-FatI'll totally give her the full-Fat version.Uh, that's my water.- What?- My water. You're drinking it.D-Dear lord!- Have you been drinking it?- Yes. It's my water.Well, that's it then. I'm dead.Here we go...i'm sorry, do i really need to connect the dots for you?The backwash into this glassIs every pathogen that calls your mouth home, sweet home. Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue Of your subtropical girlfriend.Hey! That's my sister Andmy country you're talking about.Leonard may have defiled one,But I won't have you talking smack about the other.You guys ready to order?Yes, i'd like a seven-Day course of penicillin,Some, uh, syrup of ipecac-- To induce vomiting-- And a mint.- I don't understand.- He drank from leonard's glass."He drank from leonard's glass"--The words they'll be carving into my tombstone.That's actually my napkin.Oh, this is a nightmare!- Where are you going?- To the bar,To sterilize my mouth with alcohol.Gang way! Dead manwalking!All right. Here you go.Two lemonades, One iced teaAnd a root beer for priya.- Is it diet?- That's what you ordered.Thank you.Hey, have you and howardStarted planning your wedding yet?Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff Overlooking the ocean.Nothing soothes those pre-Wedding jitters Like the thought of falling and drowning. What did your mother say When you told her you were getting married?He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time.I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.Howard, you've gotto tell your mother.Hey, have you told your parentsyou'redating This short glass of skim milk here?Uh... that's different.First of all, we're not engaged;And second, indian parents Are very protective of their children.Right, right, whereas jewish mothersTake a casual, la-Di-Da approach to their sons.I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit.- You all right?- Fine. Thank you for asking.I love you so much.Fire demon.Ooh, fire demon. Sheldon's turning up the heat...troll master.Check it! Howard pulls one out From under the bridge. Nice!Water nymph.Oh, yeah, she's got puddles In all the right places.Could you please play the game Without commenting on every card?Sorry.Walking tree.- Last one.- I'm taking a stroll and i'm sporting wood.Okay, the eagle has landed.What's going on?Bernadette and my mother are havingA get-To-Know-You lunch at the old town deli.- Oh, that sounds lovely.- Hope so.Of course, if history is any indication,My mother will swallow her wholeAnd spit out her bones like an owl.- Have you met bernadette's parents?- You mean adolf and eva?Not yet.One goose step at a time.- Sheldon, that's my water.- Oh, dear lord!That's not your water.I know.where's the mouthwash?!"Where" indeed.ma, i'm home!- Where are you?- i'm in the toilet!So, how'd it go?!too soon to say!I'm not done yet!No, i mean lunch, today, with bernadette!oh! I had a pastrami sandwich.She had eggplant lasagna.Like that's what a person orders in a jewish deli. Besides food, did you get along?Did you talk?Oh, sure!Did you know she's going to schoolTo become a microbiologist?!No, she never mentioned it.I bet she did and you didn't listen!Yeah, that's probably it. So, what do you think?Do you like her?She's great, huh?She's a lovely girl! Cute as a button!That's good to hear,'cause i've got some news.I hope it's good news,Because i've got nothing but disappointment in here! Bernadette and I are getting married.Ma?You too busy bearing down?Ma? Oh, my god,ma? Ma? Ma?Stand back,i'm gonna break the door down!Son of a bitch! Ma, help!Hey.Hello.Haven't seen you in a while.How's it going?Oh, other than waiting out the exponentialgrowth period Of the virulent organismsTrooping through my microvilliInto my circulatory system--Hunky-Dory.Did i say something amusing?I don't know, maybe, i have no idea what you said.So your mirth is merelya discharge of nervous energyWith no semantic content at all?My mirth. Classic.Is there a station coming upWhere i can board your giggling train of thought?It's not a big deal, sheldon. It's just,ever since leonard's been Dating raj's sister,i've had to keep my distance.I don't get to hear all your jibber-Jabber.Jibber-Jabber?! I don't jibber-Jabber.What are you doing at work these days?Oh, i'm working on time-Dependent backgrounds In string theory, Specifically quantum field theoryIn "d-Dimensional" de sitter space.Okay, come on, even you have to admit that's jibber-Jabber. Interesting, do you know Wherethe phrase "jibber-Jabber" comes from?Oh, my god, you're about to jibber-Jabber About jibber-Jabber. Howard and his mother are at the hospital. Come on, we gotta go. - Oh, my god! What happened?- I don't know, i just got a text.- Come on, hurry.- Okay.Sheldon, let's go!To a hospital?! Full of sick people?!Oh, i don't think so.Okay, well, your friend and his mother are there, we're going.I can't.Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of germs.Not all germs.Just the ones that will kill me.It's the same way i'm not afraid of all steak knives--Just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax.Fine, i'll tell howard you didn't comeBecause you're more concerned About your own well-Being than his.I would thinkhe would know that.Okay, you know what?You are unbelievable. You buy all these superhero t-Shirts,But when it's time for you To step up and do the right thing,You just hide in the laundry room.Fine, i'll go.Just for the record, my aunt ruth died in a hospital.She went in to visit my uncle roger,Caught something and bit the dust a week later.The two of them now share a coffee canSo i knocked down the bathroom door,Picked up my poor unconscious mother,Carried her to the car,And drove like a madman to the emergency room.You're a real hero, howard.No, i did what any son would do.Hang on a second--You picked up your mother?Her own legs are barely able to do that.I was filled with adrenaline.It happens to be how women lift cars off babies.Yeah, i'm saying, it'd be easier to lift a car.What can i tell you?After i found the courage To puther pants back on, i was unstoppable.So, how is she?They're running tests-- I don't know.It may have been a heart attack or heart-Attack-Like event.What's the difference?A heart-attack-like event is an event that's like a heart attack. Thanks for clearing that up.Regardless, coronary problems are eminently treatable.What's more likely going to kill Howard's motherare the antibiotic-resistant super-bugs festeringin every nook and cranny of this hospital.Okay, you're not helping.Disagree.Go sit over there.I'll sit over there--it looks cleaner.Is there a history of heart disease in your family?My family is the historyof heart disease.There's a cave painting in Franceof one of my ancestors doing this:So it's probably genetic.Well, maybe.Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her. It's not important.Come on, Howard, I'm going to be your wife.You can share anything with me.You'd think that. But no.You told her we were going to get marriedand she had a heart attack?You can't take that personally.How else is she supposed to take it?What you've got to keep in mind is thatever since my dad left,I've been the whole world to my mother.I mean, she'd be threatened by any womanwho can give me what she can't.You mean sexual intercourse?Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.What happened?Howard's mother had a heart attackbecause I have sex with him and she can't.Bernie, wait!I'll give you $1,000 if you'll drive me home.Nice of you to come for Howard.Well, he's my friend.It's what you do.I'm sorry, did I miss something?It's just so weird.Howard Wolowitz is my friend.You know, once he tried to stick his tonguedown my throat and I broke his nose.That's a little easier to believethan he's your friend.Yeah, tell me about it.You know, my brother had a group of friends like this in India. They dressed up in leotards and gogglesand called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.You mean when he was little.Not as little as you'd want him to be.You know, this stuff is horrible.You want to see if we can find the cafeteria and get real coffee?Sure.We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee. You want anything?I'm fine.That's nice thatthey're getting along.Your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriendare hanging out together?Oh, yeah, that can only be good for you.What are you talking about?One of them broke up with you.Do you really want her telling the other one why?I don't care. I don't have anything to hide.Good, good. Then you havenothing to worry about.No, I do not.You are a mean little man.You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me,but actually they loved me a great deal.Bernie, it's not you.She's just set in her ways.How can we be togetherif the thought of us getting married might kill your mother?It's the circleof life, sweetie.One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.Howard, I have to go to the bathroomand no one will take me home.What's wrong with the bathroom here?Pneumococcus, streptococcus staphylococcus，and other assorted coccuses. Sheldon, my mother is on her deathbedand my fiance is grief-stricken over putting her there.I'm not taking you home.Will you at least go with me to the restroom here,so you can open the door and flush the urinal?No!This might be a good time to point out, Howard,that friendship requires a certain give and take.Hold the door.Mr. Wolowitz?Is she okay?It wasn't a heart attack.She's awake, she's resting comfortably--we're still running tests. Can I see her?Actually, she said, and I quote,she'd "like to see the little Catholic girl first."Me? Why me?Jews have been asking that for centuries.There's no real good answer.Okay, well, wish me luck.Don't worry, you'll be fine.Let's just hide Mr. Cross.If it touches her,it burns.You brought a Catholic girl home to your mother?Yeah.Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax.Finally.Oh, what fresh hell is this?Wait, you can't leave here, you've been exposed.No, I haven't.It's all good.You want to talk about crazy mothers,Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any sort of approval growing up. Oh, the poor thing.It makes him desperate to please women.That's why the foreplay goes on and on.It does, doesn't it?It's like he's trying to win a prize.A word of advice-- don't doze off. You will never hear the end of it. Help me! Come back! Penny!There are a couple of things I didwith Penny that might be a little silly, but...Like what?Every once in a while, before we'd go to bed,I'd put on a little show for her.What do you mean"a show"?Well, you know, the way I took my clothes off.Like, to music?I'd look pretty stupid if there was no music.So you'd do a striptease?I wasn't swinging around a pole.Good, good.There was one time I put body glitter on.Well, I don't think you have to worry about Penny telling my sister that. No, she wouldn't.Your big problem is me telling her.You really are a mean little man.Oh, God, that's so true.I know, right?Hey, what took you guys so long?Oh, we were just chatting.That's nice. What about?We were just comparing notes about how you are in the sack.- That's funny.- Yeah.What if she wasn't kidding?It doesn't matter. I'm the king of foreplay.Hey, how'd it go?You're a putz. You know what that means?Yeah. Do you?Your mother just taught it to me.She thinks she got food poisoning from that deliand she just wanted to make sure I was okay.And are you?No, because I'm engaged to a putz.You let me believe I was the reason she had a heart attack.- Well, based on the available evid--- Shut up!She said I'm a wonderful girl and that you're lucky to have me. Where are you going?To the toilet! Is that okay with you?!Mountain Elf.He takes the elffrom off the shelf.Hell Hounds.Hell Hounds--who let the Satanic dogs out?Who? Who-who?Colossal Serpent.I got a colossal serpent right here.Must you?Sorry, I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up.Rotting Zombie. Sheldon's newFacebook photo.Zandor, Wizard of the North.Ha! I win.If you skip the part about beingunder a two-week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease-- absolutely.。
整理版 生活大爆炸 the big bang theory s1e3
第一季3集: The Fuzzy Boots Corollary-Howard：All right, just a few more feet. And...非常好，再前进几步...here we are, gentlemen, the gates of Elzebob. 准备好，先生们，Elzebob大门到了。
gentlemen: n. （gentleman的复数形式）绅士,先生gate：门-Sheldon：Good lord. 上帝啊。
lord:上帝-Leonard：Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have been about. 别慌，坚持97小时的战斗就为了这一刻。
panic：恐慌last：a. 最后的,末尾的,最近的,晚了，迟到了;v. 持续,支持,维持ad. 最后,后来-Howard：Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the sword of Asaroth. 待着别动，一群装备武器的地妖精，正在门的另一边，守卫着艾辛诺斯之刃。
frosty：冷淡的 a horde of：一群armed：武装的goblin：恶魔，小妖精guard：保护，监护sword：剑-Leonard：Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands. 战士们，拔出你们的武器，法师们，举起你们的魔杖。
warriors：武士，战士unsheathe；抽出鞘，拔出weapons：武器magic：魔术的wielders：行使者raise：举起wands：棍，棒-Sheldon：Lock and load. 准备好了。
【Lock and load 这是一句常用的美国口语，荷枪实弹，准备好的意思】-Howard：Raj, blow the gates. Raj，推开大门。
生活大爆炸第三季01
生活大爆炸第三季0100:00:00,000-->00:00:00,000200:00:00,000-->00:00:00,000300:00:00,300-->00:00:01,500《生活大爆炸》前情回顾PrevioulyonTheBigBangTheory (4)00:00:02,440-->00:00:03,930我和莱纳德沃罗威茨库萨帕里IamgoingtotheArcticCircle500:00:03,990-->00:00:05,060要去北极圈withLeonard,Walowitz,andKoothrappali.600:00:05,130-->00:00:07,120-去三个月-没错-Forthreemonth-Ye.7 00:00:07,160-->00:00:10,620你说会想我是什么意思Whatdidyoumeanwhenyouaidyouweregoingtomime800:00:12,770-->00:00:14,760意思是我不想你走ItmeanIwihyouweren'tgoing.900:00:17,000-->00:00:19,000[三个月后]1000:00:30,000-->00:00:31,500谢天谢地到家了Oh,thankGodwe'rehome.1100:00:31,500-->00:00:35,540难以置信我们在那冰冷的地狱呆了3个月Ican'tbelievewepentthreemonthinthatfrozenhell.1200:00:35,540-->00:00:37,050简直就是个噩梦Itwalikeanowynightmare1300:00:37,050-->00:00:39,000梦里漫天飞雪而又无法醒来fromwhichtherewanoawakening.1400:00:39,870-->00:00:42,900我不知道你们对北极考察的感想Idon'tknowwhatArctice某peditionyouguywereon,1500:00:42,970-->00:00:45,010我只觉得意犹未尽butIthoughtitwaahootandahalf.1600:00:47,440-->00:00:48,950你好妈妈Oh,hi,Mom.1700:00:49,530-->00:00:52,12000:00:52,120-->00:00:54,300我还没到家呢I'mnothomeyet. 1900:00:54,300-->00:00:56,480行了到家了Allright,I'mhome.2000:00:57,570-->00:01:00,300北极考察非常成功TheArctice某peditionwaaremarkableucce.2100:01:00,370-->00:01:02,760说不定我将来能得一个诺贝尔奖I'mallbutcertainthere'aNobelPrizeinmyfuture.2200:01:02,820-->00:01:04,080其实不应该这样说Actually,Ihouldn'taythat.2300:01:04,140-->00:01:05,850我完全确定能得I'mentirelycertain. 2400:01:06,060-->00:01:09,070不妈妈我感觉不到No,Mother,Icouldnotfeel2500:01:09,070-->00:01:11,480你的教会小组为我祈祷平安yourchurchgroupprayingformyafty.2600:01:12,510-->00:01:14,300就算我平安回家也不证明祈祷有效ThefactthatI'mhomeafedoenotprovethatitworked.2700:01:14,300-->00:01:16,180这个逻辑完全是个谬误Thelogicipothocergopropterhoc.2800:01:18,410-->00:01:22,200不我没有用爱斯基摩口吻跟你顶嘴No,I'mnotaingyouinEkimotalk.29 00:01:22,280-->00:01:24,320我去告诉佩妮我们回来了I'mgonnagoletPennyknowwe'reback.3000:01:24,320-->00:01:25,720妈妈我得挂了Mother,Ihavetogo.31 00:01:25,720-->00:01:27,940爱你拜Yeah,loveyou.Bye.3200:01:28,840-->00:01:31,540好啊老朋友Hello,oldfriend.3300:01:39,840-->00:01:41,390爹爹回来了Daddy'home.3400:01:43,510-->00:01:45,730莱纳德你回来啦Leonard,you'reback.35 00:01:45,800-->00:01:47,920对我过来跟你说...Yeah.Ijuttoppedbytoay--hmph!3600:01:53,000-->00:01:55,060-嗨-嗨-Yeah.So,hi.-Hi.3700:02:03,130-->00:02:06,600妈的早知道我先来说我们回来了Damnit,Ihouldhavegoneoverandtoldherwewereback.3800:02:12,030-->00:02:14,070就是先到先得嘛00:02:34,210-->00:02:35,810生活大爆炸第三季第一集40 00:02:41,370-->00:02:42,580先跟你们俩声明Ijutwantyoubothtoknow,4100:02:42,580-->00:02:44,020等我发表我的发现时WhenIpublihmyfinding,4200:02:44,020-->00:02:46,060我不会忘记你们的付出的Iwon'tforgetyourcontribution.4300:02:46,060-->00:02:47,420-太好了-谢谢-Great.-Thank.4400:02:48,100-->00:02:50,590但在诺贝尔领奖感言中不能提及你们Ofcoure,Ican'tmentionyouinmyNobelacceptancepeech,4500:02:50,590-->00:02:52,330不过写传记时butwhenIgetaroundtowritingmymemoir,46。
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'cause you know I'll do it!搞定激光接上电源了Ok,we've got the power to the laser.我应该带把伞来的I should've brought an umbrella.作甚啊又不会下雨What for? It's not gonna rain.我知道I know that.但我如此白嫩的肌肤还是有可能被月光灼伤的But with skin as fair as mine,moon burn is real possibility. 这是个"逗你玩儿" 对吧That's a "Bazinga," Right?我的巅峰之作你觉得呢One of my best,don't you think?霍华德你要不要再检查一下Howard,do you want to double-check激光上的赤道仪装置the equatorial mount on the laser?我们得把它锁定到"宁静之海"上[月面某部名称]We need it locked onto the Sea of Tranquility.没问题You got it.天拉杰别这样Oh,Raj,no.人们花了无数美元发明了英特网Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet 并在上面发了无数艳照and filling it with pictures of naked women,就是为了让我们不需要通过窗户来偷窥啊so we don't have to peep through windows.我才没有呢It's not like that.我只不过在看别人的电视而已I'm watching someone's TV.正在播《傲骨贤妻》呢The Good Wife is on.告诉你这就是我的新《实习医生格蕾》I tell you,this is my new Grey's Anatomy.莱纳德莱纳德Leonard,Leonard.那是啥那是啥What is that? What is that?别紧张不就是只脏袜子嘛Relax,it's just a dirty sock.你怎么可以如此淡定的把How on earth can you say"脏袜子"和"别紧张"放在同一句话里"Dirty sock" And "Relax" In the same sentence?谢尔顿这个世界上到处都有被遗弃的脏袜子Sheldon,the world is filled with dirty discarded socks.我的世界可没有Not my world.嘿你们知道谁会非常想看这个实验吗佩妮Hey,you know who'd really dig seeing this experiment? Penny. 我怎么不知道她喜欢月面搜索呢I wasn't aware that lunar ranging was her thing.尽管我可以确定尼尔·阿姆斯特朗留在月球上的Although,I suppose the retro-reflector left on the moon回复反射器的确符合了亮晶晶的标准by Neil Armstrong does qualify as a shiny object.那你怎么不叫她上来Why don't you ask her to come up?不知道自从那之后就有点怪怪的I don't know,it's still a little weird since,you know...-她甩了你吗-她没有甩了我- She dumped you? - She didn't dump me.我们只不过在这段关系中处在不同方位罢了We were just in different places in the relationship.我不明白为什么一段情缘I fail to see how a relationship还能有地理位置的特性can have the qualities of a geographic location.唔这很简单Oh,it's very simple.莱纳德住在一个叫做"请别离开"的小镇里Leonard was living in a little town called "Please don't leave me" 而佩妮则刚搬到了一个叫"拜拜"的小岛上while Penny had just moved to the island of "Buh-bye."去你丫的Screw you guys.我去看看她在不在家I'm gonna go see if she's home.如果方便的话If it's not too much trouble,我想把望远镜瞄准月球了I'd like to point this at the moon now.且慢Wait a second.好老婆正哭呢The good wife is crying.出大问题了Something's very wrong.嘿怎么了Oh,hi. What's going on?我们在屋顶上尝试从月球将激光射回来呢We're up on the roof bouncing laser beams off the moon. 抱歉什么I'm sorry,what?很酷的哦It's pretty cool.我们准备了直径两米的反射器和其他仪器We've got a two-meter parabolic reflector and everything. 我觉得你可能会想来看看I thought you might want to see it.这完全说不通啊That makes no sense.你怎么可能从月球上弹射东西How can you bounce stuff off the moon?那儿可没有重力There's no gravity.呃莱纳德Uh,Leonard,-这是扎克扎克这是莱纳德-嘿- This is Zack. Zack,Leonard. - Hey.抱歉我不知道你们正忙呢或许下次吧Oh,sorry,I didn't know you were busy. Maybe another time. 嗯或许吧Yeah,maybe.嗨我想看看这个激光Hey,I want to see this laser thing.但那个派对怎么办Oh,but what about the party?只不过是个惊喜派对而已什么时候到完全没所谓It's a surprise party-- doesn't matter when we get there.那倒是Right.那好吧上来吧Okay,well,yeah,come on up.你们是如何认识的呢So,how'd you guys meet?我的公司为芝士工厂设计菜单My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory. 你的公司Your company?事实上是我爸的但我和我妹妹是副总Well,my dad. But me and my sister are VPs.呃菜单啊So... menus.听起来貌似简单但在设计当中I know it sounds easy,but there's a lot of science是包含了不少科学知识的that goes into designing them.开心了吧Happy now?我把脏袜子丢开了I'm moving the dirty sock.谢谢Thank you.拉杰时刻注意另外一只Raj,keep an eye out for the other one.各位这是我朋友扎克Hey,guys,this is my friend Zack.-你好扎克-哇哦- Hello. Zack. - Whoa!这就是那激光吗Is that the laser?太他妈帅了It's bitchin'.没错Yes.1917年当爱因斯坦在他的文章In 1917,when Albert Einstein established《关于辐射的量子理论中》阐述了the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper激光的理论基础时他最诚挚的希望"Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," His fondest hope 就是最终的仪器要很他妈的帅was that the resultant device be bitchin'.唔那任务达成了Well,mission accomplished.让我来解释一下我们在做什么Let me explain what we're doing here.1969年阿波罗11号上的宇航员Um,in 1969,the astronauts on Apollo 11在月面安置了数个反射器positioned reflectors on the surface of the moon, 而我们则要发射激光and we're going to shoot a laser off到其中的一个上面并反射回来one of them and let the light bounce back到这个光电倍增器上into this photomultiplier.哇那很酷啊Oh! That's very cool.只有一个问题One question.你怎么确定它不会爆炸How can you be sure it won't blow up?激光吗The laser?月球The moon.看这才是配得上佩妮的男人See,now this is a man for Penny.问得好扎克That's a great question,Zack.才不是呢No,it's not.谢尔顿Sheldon!要友好Play nice.问得不好It's not a great question.怎么能有人觉得How could somebody possibly think我们会炸掉月球we're going to blow up the moon?这才叫问得好That's a great question.不用担心月球Don't worry about the moon.我们把激光调弱了We-We set our laser to stun.聪明Smart.发射时我们能看到光束Now,we'll be able to see the beam when it leaves, 但返回时的光束减弱but it won't be strong enough when it comes back裸眼看不到to be seen by the naked eye.裸Naked.是很搞笑Right. Uh... funny.那个装置能测量返回的光子Uh,that device,there,will measure the photons that return 我们能在电脑上看到and let us see it on this computer.拉杰给他们眼镜Raj,get them some glasses.酷还有三维效果Cool,it's gonna be in 3-D?准备向月球发射激光Preparing to fire laser at the moon.开始吧Make it so.有了看到峰值了There it is. There's the spike!返回时间2.5秒2.5 seconds for the light to return.是月球我们击中月球了That's the moon! We hit the moon!这就是你们的大实验That's your big experiment?搞这么多就为了屏幕上的一条线All that for a line on the screen?话虽如此Yeah,but,uh,想想这代表着什么think about what this represents.我们的实验是唯一The fact that we can do this is the only way能证明月球上有人造物体的实验of definitively proving that there are man-made objects 这个物体是60年前刚发明飞机的on the moon,put there by a member of a species种族中一员放上去的that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane. 那是什么种族啊What species is that?我错了I was wrong.佩妮能找更好的Penny can do better.-好了谢谢各位很有意思-谢谢- Okay,guys,thank you,it's been fun. - Yeah,thanks.-能请他们参加派对吗-不行只管走- Should we invite them to the party? - No,just keep walking. 他肯定交媾技能很强He must be very skilled at coitus.告诉你唯一能让你I'm telling you,dude,the only way接受佩妮结交新欢的办法to feel better about Penny going out with other guys就是再奸再厉is for you to get back on the whores.接Horse.什么What?那个词是"再接再厉"The phrase is "Get back on the horse,"不是"奸"not "Whores."老兄你真恶心That's disgusting,dude.不是No,it's not...算了Never mind.不过他说得对He is right,though.你愿意的话我可以给你介绍If you want,I can turn you on to this great new-我找到的新交友网-不了谢谢- dating site I found. - No,thanks.你确定上面说能给任何人牵红线You sure? They say they can find a match for anybody. 他们给你牵了吗Have they found a match for you?多着呢上个月就有八个呢Tons. I've had,like,eight dates in the last month.如果算上见我就闪的有12个呢And 12 if you count the ones who showed up and left. 我无法搬氮气罐下来I can't bring the nitrogen tank down.-为什么-我重申一遍- Why not? - All right,let me restate that. 它很重我不想搬It's very heavy,and I don't want to.我去搬吧I'll help you.谢谢Thank you.用膝盖别用背Lift with your knees,not your back.晚安Good night.知道什么才好玩吗You know what would be fun?帮谢尔顿申请网上交友Signing Sheldon up for online dating.算了吧Yeah,right.不想一想No,think about it.我们当实验做We make it an experiment.就像寂寞的科学怪人Like when Frankenstein's monster找了个老婆was lonely and he found a wife.他没有找老婆He didn't find a wife.而是用死尸器官造了个老婆They built him a wife out of dead body parts.那可以作为后备计划Okay,we'll call that plan B.来了Coming!你个该死的混蛋Damn you,you rat bastard.你醉啦Are you drunk?扎克是个绝好男友你把他毁了Zack was a perfectly nice guy,and then you ruined him! 我怎么把他毁了How did I ruin him?因为以前'Cause in the olden days,我绝不会觉得他傻I never would've known he was so stupid.拜托他没那么傻Come on,he wasn't that stupid.不他是傻Yes,he was!他觉得你们会炸掉月球He thought you were gonna blow up the moon! 对他确实很傻Okay,yeah,he's stupid.他一整晚都在吹嘘He spent the entire night bragging自己怎么造出"阑胃菜"这个词about how he invented the word "Appe-teasers." 这不是我的错吧How is that my fault?你毁了我容忍傻逼的能力You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots. 现在跟我走Now,come with me.去哪Wh-Where are we going?我们去做爱We're gonna have sex.为啥不过我没意见Why? I mean,okay.怎么回事What's going on?把你的降噪耳机戴上Put on your noise-canceling headphones,这边会很吵的'cause it's gonna get loud.怎么又来了Oh! Not this again.这怎么可能是少果肉呢In what universe is this low-pulp?早啊佩妮Good morning,Penny.你后脑勺长眼睛了吗What,do you have eyes in the back of your head?隔天就在学校挨揍的某人When one gets beaten up every other day in school, 必然会进化出更敏锐的听觉one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing.而且在学校挨揍的某人Incidentally,one can get beaten up in school通常都把自己称为"某人"simply by referring to oneself as "One."我准备做英式松饼I'm making English muffins.你想吃吗Would you like an English muffin?-不了我不饿-另外- Oh,thanks,I'm not hungry. - FYI,昨晚证明我的降噪耳机无效my noise-canceling headphones proved ineffective last night.不好意思Yeah,sorry about that.作为本土德州人我得说"驾"这个词As a native Texan,I must say I've never heard the phrase "Yee-haw" 在交媾中很少用到used in quite that context.天呐Oh,God.天呐"Oh,God."这个我倒是听过很多次That I've heard on multiple occasions.这算哪门子"微"烤In what universe is that lightly toasted?今天真是我一生之中最扯淡的一天This has to be the worst day of my life.早啊莱纳德Good morning,Leonard.我告诉过你多少次了不要那么做How many times have I asked you not to do that? 算上这次吗317次Counting this instance? 317.佩妮呢Where's Penny?她回她家去了She returned to her apartment.我猜应该是去洗澡加呕吐了I presume to shower and vomit.顺序不一定是按这个Not necessarily in that order.她为啥都没道别一下呢I wonder why she didn't say good-bye.你是在叫我解释一下人类行为吗Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behavior? 难为你了我只是觉得I know. I just thought as an outsider,当局者迷旁观者清嘛you might be able to provide a fresh perspective.我相信你个小东西绝对不是黄油I have no difficulty believing you're not butter.-嘿-嗨- Oh,hey. - Oh,hi.我得赶紧走了早班Um,I gotta run. Early shift.好啊我和你一起下楼Okay,I'll walk down with you.昨晚挺有意思的对吧So,last night was fun,huh?那必须的Yeah,it must have been.我刚吐在我壁橱里了I just threw up in my closet.杯具啊Bummer.我在想啊咱俩今晚Anyway,I was thinking tonight maybe去看场电影如何we could catch a movie.今晚我不太方便Oh,yeah,tonight's not great for me.不一定是今天晚上Doesn't have to be tonight.我差不多啥时候都有空I'm free pretty much always.莱纳德昨晚那件事是个错误Leonard,last night was a mistake.你说"错误" 是塞翁失马那种吗When you say "Mistake," Do you mean a fortunate mistake, 就比如发现青霉素like the discovery of penicillin?我很抱歉Look,I'm sorry.我喝高了很寂寞我讨厌扎克I was drunk,I was lonely,I hated Zack.咱俩就当没发生过好吗Can we just forget it ever happened?不行整件事几乎已经刻在我脑子里了No,it's pretty well imprinted on my brain.特别是骑术表演那部分Especially the whole rodeo thing.老天Oh,God!就这样啊So,that's it?提上裤子就不认人啦Wham,bam,thank you,Leonard?我都道歉了你就别纠结这事儿了行吗Look,I said I'm sorry. Can't you please let it go? 你说的倒轻松啊How am I supposed to let it go?你居然把我当泄欲对象You used me for sex!早安冈德森太太Morning,Mrs. Gunderson.早啊莱纳德Good morning,Leonard.或者我该说"咦哈"Or should I say "Yee-haw"?-我靠-怎么了- Holy crap. - What?我们终于证实了人类之中藏有外星人We finally have proof that aliens walk among us. 你说啥Excuse me?这个约会网站找到了个适合谢尔顿的女人The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon. 不可能吧You're kidding.一个实实在在的女人An actual woman?你看胸部该有的都有Yeah,look. Breasts and everything.相信我有胸的不一定就是女人Trust me,breasts doesn't necessarily mean woman. -啥时候有这么一说-我回头给你看张- Since when? - I'll show you a picture我路易叔叔穿泳装的照片of my Uncle Louie in a bathing suit sometime.莱纳德快来看啊Leonard,you gotta see this.我们居然找到适合谢尔顿的姑娘了We found a match for Sheldon.很好Great.说不定她会跟他上床然后第二天一早Maybe she can have sex with him,and then walk out on him 连个招呼都不打就闪人the next morning without so much as a "How do you do?" 你知道他说啥呢吗Do you know what he's talking about?不知道你问问呗Nope. Why don't you ask him?莱纳德你说啥呢Leonard,what are you talking about?我不想谈这个I don't want to talk about it.瞧你出的这馊主意That was a lousy suggestion.随便啦现在Whatever. Right now,谢尔顿·库珀博士要给他的真命天女Dr. Sheldon Cooper has to send an e-mail发封邮件to his perfect match."您好同类生物""Greetings,fellow life-form..."她能做到那我也能她能做到那我也能If she can do it,I can do it. If she can do it,I can do it. 她能做到那我也能If she can do it,I can do it.我无能了I can't do it.-谁啊-你好- Hello? - Oh,hi. Hey.你好啊莱斯利Hi,Leslie.莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德有何贵干Leonard Hofstadter. What're you doing here?是啊咱俩好久没见了Uh,I know! It's been a while!对啊18个月Yeah,18 months.是啊是啊Right. Right.你怎么样啊So how you doing?挺好的你呢Fine. You?不错Uh,not bad.你还记得之前咱俩上床You remember when we used to have sex你说这事儿没什么实际意义只是为了娱乐and you said that it didn't mean anything,it was just for fun? 是啊Yeah.你想再来一次吗You,uh,want to do that again?怎么了金发美女把你甩了What happened? Blondie dumped you?不是她甩我She didn't dump me.我俩处在一段关系里的不同位置We were just in different places in the relationship.是嘛Right.随便了显然呢Um... anyway,apparently,找个好久不见的人然后俩人it's okay to go back to people you're no longer seeing 娱乐性地打一炮也没啥不好的吧and have recreational sex with them.你觉得如何So,what do you say?我考虑下哈Let me think about it.她不会再开门了She's not coming back.她想见我们She wants to meet us.不是我们是他Not us. Him.是啊可是他根本不认识她Yes,but him doesn't even know about her.哎呀他会认识她的Well,him about to find out about her.真的吗我们要告诉他吗Really? Us gonna tell him?谁要告诉谁什么Who's going to tell whom about what?谢尔顿Sheldon.嗨Hey. Hi.你们这么惊讶让我很困惑Your surprise confuses me.我住在这儿I live here.是啊Right.那个啥明天下午你什么安排So,listen,what are you doing tomorrow afternoon? 说的具体点Be more specific.四点半4:30.那不是下午That's not afternoon.那是傍晚That's preevning.什么What?是我发明的描述时间方式It's a time of day I invented.更好地定义了个模棱两可的时段It better defines the ambiguous period下午和晚上之间就是傍晚between afternoon and evening: preevning.我确信因为急需精确描述这词定会广为流传I'm fairly certain it will catch on as it fills a desperate need. 好吧Right,okay.那你明天傍晚准备做什么What are you doing tomorrow preevning?明天是周六Well,tomorrow's Saturday.周六晚是洗衣夜Saturday night is laundry night.所以傍晚我会用来预分选衣物So I'll be spending the preevning pre-sorting并预浸湿and pre-soaking.如果我告诉你明天4点半Okay,what if I were to tell you,tomorrow,at 4:30,你将遇到you could meet a woman科学挑选出来的你的完美伴侣呢who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate?我会嘲讽地哼一声无奈地摊开双手I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air,疲于应付你们这种经常的无聊之举exhausted by your constant tomfoolery.但这是真的But it's true.我们把你所有重要信息上传到了交友网站But we-we put all your vital information into this dating site,学着你的方式回答了他们所有问题answered all their questions just like you would,他们找到了个跟你匹配的她叫艾米·菲拉·福勒and they found a match for you. Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler. 拜托Please.即使你们学得像我的回答Even assuming you could answer any question the way I would,这种红娘网站的算法本身就是胡扯的the algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum.他们问到这个问题的时候我们就是这么回答的And that's exactly the answer we gave to the question:你对在线交友持何态度"What is your attitude towards online dating?"霍华德想回答"毫无意义" 但我认为不是Howard wanted to write "Mumbo jumbo," But I said no.咱谢尔顿会回答"胡扯"Our Sheldon would say "Hokum."拜托你的科学好奇心呢Come on,where's your scientific curiosity?大部分都用来探索宇宙的秘密了Well,most of it is being applied to unraveling the secrets of the universe 剩下的则用来思考我为何要跟你们聊这个了while the rest of it's wondering why I'm having this conversation with you. 好吧这么说吧Okay,how about this.即使史波克每七年也会约会一次的Even Spock had a date once every seven years.他那不是约会He didn't date.那是发情期到了It was Pon Farr.他因压抑的性欲而热血沸腾His blood boiled with mating lust.那你何不先喝上杯咖啡Well,why-why don't you start with a cup of coffee,晚点就可以跟艾米·菲拉·福勒发发情了and you can Pon Farr Amy Farrah Fowler later.我不喝咖啡的I don't drink coffee.好吧那就喝杯热巧克力All right,you can have a hot chocolate.反正我不会去做这种无聊事选什么饮料无关紧要As I will not be engaging in this nonsense,my choice of beverage is moot. 但我正式说明下But for the record,我只在月份中带有R字母那月才喝热巧克力I only drink hot chocolate in months with an "R" In them.每年九月至次年四月月份英文中都带有R字母为什么Why?不为无益之事何以遣有涯之生What's life without whimsy?好吧我没辙了Okay,I'm out.谢尔顿我把屋顶拿来的一只脏袜子Sheldon,I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof藏在你们公寓里了somewhere in your apartment.除非你愿意跟我们去见那女孩Unless you are willing to come with us to meet this girl, 不然它会永远藏在那it will remain there forever.你只是在吓唬我You're bluffing.你真愿意冒这个险吗Are you willing to risk it?诅咒你Curse you.30英尺30 feet.你好莱纳德Oh. Hey,Leonard.我本是个完美的小个子剩男快乐又书呆I was a perfectly happy,geeky,little lonely guy,是你毁了我and you ruined me!你喝醉了吗Are you drunk?拜托我们上床吧反正也是没有意义的Come on. We're gonna have sex,and it's not gonna mean a thing! 你疯了吗Are you out of your mind?!我真的开始认为这是双重标准了I'm really starting to think there's a double standard here.几分钟后In a few minutes,等我幸灾乐祸地冷眼旁观着本次相亲的失败when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise,你们更愿意我怎么做how would you prefer I do it?是标准答案我早说过会这样The standard "I told you so"?还是经典的"哦也哦也"[表嘲讽]The classic "Neener-neener"?还是用我平常那副高傲嘲弄的表情Or just my normal look of haughty derision?现在还不能断定我们错了You don't know we're wrong yet.还是高傲嘲弄表情吧Haughty derision it is.打扰下Excuse me.我是艾米·菲拉·福勒你是谢尔顿·库珀I'm Amy Farrah Fowler. You're Sheldon Cooper.你好艾米·菲拉·福勒Hello,Amy Farrah Fowler.我很遗憾地告诉你你上当了I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in被设计用来欺骗by unsupportable mathematics很傻很天真剩男剩女的无知算法骗了designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely.此外我是被一只藏起来的脏袜子勒索了才来的Additionally,I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock. 那是俚语的话我从没听说过If that was slang,I'm unfamiliar with it.要是字面意义的话我跟你一样讨厌脏袜子If it was literal,I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.无论如何我来这是因为答应了我妈In any case,I'm here because my mother and I have agreed 每年至少约会一次that I will date at least once a year.有意思Interesting.我跟我妈在关于上教堂这点上有过同样对话My mother and I have the same agreement about church. 我并不反对神的概念I don't object to the concept of a deity,但实在不理解上教堂还得点名but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance. 那你应该不会想去德州东部Well,then you might want to avoid East Texas.记住了Noted.相亲继续进行之前Now,before this goes any further,我先声明所有身体接触you should know that all forms of physical contact包括但并不限于交媾均不予讨论up to and including coitus are off the table. 能请你喝杯饮料吗May I buy you a beverage?温水谢谢Tepid water,please.天哪瞧瞧我们干了什么Good God,what have we done。