生活大爆炸第三季S3E5 中英文对照剧本

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高中英语生活大爆炸第3季中英字幕3素材

生活大爆炸第3季中英字幕300:03:17,210 --> 00:03:18,810生活大爆炸第三季第三集200:00:01,380 --> 00:00:04,720今晚我要出去心情大好I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright300:00:04,810 --> 00:00:08,800我要好好爽一下Gonna let it all hang out400:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,840放声歌唱升三个八度Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice500:00:13,010 --> 00:00:16,880耶我要大唱大叫Yeah, I wanna scream and shout600:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,420滴滴啦啦De-de-de, de-de-de-de-de, uh700:00:20,630 --> 00:00:24,130不早安谢尔顿和我一起跳舞吧No.. Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with me.800:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,370不要No.900:00:27,430 --> 00:00:29,940干嘛不要Why not?1000:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,440佩妮我支持"多个世界"理论Penny, while I subscribe to1100:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,940这个理论表明The "many worlds" theory which pots the existence1200:00:34,990 --> 00:00:36,540在无限个宇宙中存在着Of an infinite number of sheldons1300:00:36,610 --> 00:00:38,210无限个谢尔顿In an infinite number of universes,1400:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,630我向你保证其中没一个"我"是在跳舞的I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.1500:00:42,220 --> 00:00:45,950那这些"你"里有没有幽默一点的Are you fun in any of them?1600:00:46,020 --> 00:00:46,870根据推算The math would suggest1700:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,640其中有几个"我"是糖娃娃That in a few I'm a clown made of candy.1800:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,600但是绝不跳舞But I don't dance.1900:00:53,450 --> 00:00:54,880行吧来点法式吐司不Alright, want some French toast?2000:00:54,910 --> 00:00:56,980今天是燕麦粥日It's oatmeal day.2100:00:57,050 --> 00:01:01,450这样吧下个法式吐司日我给你煮燕麦粥Tell you what, next French toast day, I'll make you oatmeal.2200:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,150神啊你还要在这赖到法式吐司日啊Dear lord, are you still going to be here on French toast day?2300:01:09,330 --> 00:01:10,580早啊Morning.2400:01:10,610 --> 00:01:11,560莱纳德你看啊Look, Leonard,2500:01:11,610 --> 00:01:13,500佩妮烤了法式吐司Penny made French toast.2600:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,900抱歉我还没给她你的用餐日程表Sorry I haven't given her your schedule yet.2700:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,530那是个iCal[Apple电子日程表]下载啊It's an iCal download.2800:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,270她可以直接下到手机里的She can put it right in her phone.2900:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,990而且我想咱们说好了的And I thought we agreed3000:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,590你们只在她那儿行房事That you'd have your conjugal visits in her apartment.3100:01:23,670 --> 00:01:26,510是说好了但是现在是特殊情况We did, but there were extenuating circumstances.3200:01:26,590 --> 00:01:27,580我明白了I see.3300:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,040她浑身的傻气Did her abysmal housekeeping skills3400:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,880终于被她那盖世的家务活能力打压下去了是吗Finally trump her perkiness?3500:01:32,220 --> 00:01:37,090不是她的床有点散架了No, her bed kind of... Broke.3600:01:37,150 --> 00:01:39,420这是不太可能的That doesn't seem likely.3700:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,740她的床的构造很结实Her bed's of sturdy construction.3800:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,630就算多承重一个Even the addition of a second3900:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,310正常体型的人类也不会引致其床架松动的Normal size human being wouldn't cause a structural failure,4000:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,950更别提像你这样的小雏形人了Much less a homunculus such as yourself.4100:01:49,270 --> 00:01:50,620小雏形人A homunculus?4200:01:50,700 --> 00:01:54,040功能健全的迷你型人类Perfectly formed miniature human being.4300:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,440你这我的小宝贝雏形人Oh, you're my little homunculus.4400:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,010别这样Don't do that.00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:03,220抱歉好啦谁要普通糖浆谁要肉桂糖浆呀Sorry. Okay, who wants syrup and who wants cinnamon sugar?4600:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,400我要燕麦粥I want oatmeal.4700:02:04,470 --> 00:02:05,570行啊Yes, well4800:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,280我想要个室友不是大混蛋的男朋友I want a boyfriend whose roommate isn't a giant pain in the ass.4900:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,080这个愿望很快就能实现了I'm sure that will happen soon enough.5000:02:11,770 --> 00:02:14,590但我还是要燕麦粥But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal.5100:02:15,160 --> 00:02:16,790得了我投降You know what, I give up.5200:02:16,860 --> 00:02:17,990怎么会有他这种人He's impossible.5300:02:17,990 --> 00:02:20,850怎么会没有我就是存在的I can't be impossible, I exist.5400:02:20,910 --> 00:02:22,700我相信你想说的是I believe what you meant to say is,5500:02:22,750 --> 00:02:25,230"我投降这种人几乎是不存在的""I give up, he's improbable."5600:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,890谢尔顿你真得换个方式Sheldon, you really need to find a better way5700:02:32,980 --> 00:02:34,140和佩妮相处了Of dealing with penny.5800:02:34,140 --> 00:02:35,380那我该怎么做What am I supposed to do--5900:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,180在礼拜一吃法式吐司吗Eat french toast on a Monday?6000:02:37,230 --> 00:02:39,880这种情况才是不存在的Now, that would be impossible.6100:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,570我只是说你想抓苍蝇的话得用蜂蜜I'm just saying, you can catch more flies with honey6200:02:42,600 --> 00:02:43,770而不是醋Than with vinegar.6300:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,890你用粪粪还能抓更多呢You can catch even more flies with manure.6400:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,260你到底想说什么What's your point?6500:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,890这个...It's a...6600:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,700天还挺香的呢Boy, that does smell good.6700:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,150太遗憾了今儿就是礼拜一Too bad it's Monday.6800:03:25,510 --> 00:03:28,220我们经理基姆去休产假了Okay, Kim the night manager went on maternity leave6900:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,940她老公叫桑迪And her husband's name is Sandy, right?7000:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,210然后So get this--7100:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,500顶她班的是一个叫桑迪的女人Her replacement is a woman named Sandy7200:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,870而她老公叫基姆Whose husband's name is Kim.7300:03:39,020 --> 00:03:41,290-哇啊 -是啊- Wow! - I know!7400:03:41,350 --> 00:03:43,150这什么概率哦What are the odds?7500:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,210很好算嘛Easily calculable.7600:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,130先找到几对双方都取中性名字的We begin by identifying a set of married couples7700:03:46,190 --> 00:03:47,530已婚夫妇With unisex names.7800:03:47,580 --> 00:03:48,910然后剔除那些不适合We then eliminate those unqualified7900:03:49,000 --> 00:03:49,630从事餐饮工作的For restaurant work--8000:03:49,700 --> 00:03:52,230比如说年老的坐牢的残疾的The aged, the imprisoned and the limbless, for example,8100:03:52,230 --> 00:03:54,420-再然后就 -谢尔顿- Next we look at... - Sheldon--8200:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,090这是一个奇妙的巧合It's an amazing coincidence.8300:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,640就这样了行吗Can we leave it at that?8400:03:57,710 --> 00:04:00,840对不起I'm sorry.8500:04:01,010 --> 00:04:05,340喔佩妮你们奶酪蛋糕工厂就好像是巫婆们开的Ooh, Penny. It's as if the cheese-cake factory is run by witches.8600:04:08,450 --> 00:04:12,420喔谢尔顿别以为我不会揍你Ooh, Sheldon, it's as if you don't think I'll punch you.8700:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,860行啦你俩别吵了Come on, you guys, let it go.8800:04:15,910 --> 00:04:17,040哼随便吧Fine, whatever.00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,530你吃完了吗Are you finished?9000:04:19,580 --> 00:04:20,990谢了Well, thank you.9100:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,910多么体贴How thoughtful.9200:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,910你要吃巧克力吗Would you like a chocolate?9300:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,880好啊Um, yeah, sure.9400:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,590多谢啦Thanks.9500:04:33,010 --> 00:04:35,940这算什么What was that?9600:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,730你让我对佩妮好点的You said be nice to Penny.9700:04:38,810 --> 00:04:40,510我觉得给别人喂巧克力I believe offering chocolate to someone9800:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,780能够符合"好"的定义Falls within the definition of nice.9900:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,200没错It does.10000:04:44,270 --> 00:04:46,870但就我观察你这人不符合But in my experience, you don't.10100:04:46,940 --> 00:04:50,490何瑞修宇宙间无奇不有There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,10200:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,480不是你的哲学全能梦想得到的[<哈姆雷特>第一幕;第五景]Than are dreamt of in your philosophy10300:04:52,540 --> 00:04:54,230这才是你嘛Now that's you10400:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,450讨厌而且让人难以忍受Obnoxious and insufferable.10500:05:02,840 --> 00:05:05,590日居者们你们好啊What's going on, day dwellers?10600:05:05,660 --> 00:05:10,540KISS[美重金属乐队]粉丝团也废除了"不许问不许说"[美军处理同性恋旧政策]吗Oh, man, did the kiss army repeal "don't ask, don't tell"?10700:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,750不是No.10800:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,910我和拉杰要去好莱坞的哥特夜总会Raj and I are going to a goth club in Hollywood10900:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,950和夜猫子一起玩儿To hang with the night people.11000:05:17,970 --> 00:05:19,350有人想一起去吗Anyb ody want to come along?11100:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,960你真要这样上街吗Oh, wow, you're actually going out like that?11200:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,510不不No, no.11300:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,310我要这样上街I'm going out like this...11400:05:27,530 --> 00:05:29,480霍华德你做了些什么Howard, what did you do?11500:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,010这叫纹身袖They're called tattoo sleeves.11600:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,130看Look.11700:05:34,190 --> 00:05:35,440我在网上买的拉杰也买了一身I go them online! Raj got a set, too..11800:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,820帅死了是吧Fantastic, right?11900:05:40,910 --> 00:05:43,030穿上它就能和前卫女孩Put them on, have hot sex with some freaky girl12000:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,030发生韵事脱下他With her business pierced, take them off,12100:05:45,110 --> 00:05:47,610我依旧是个恪礼守节的犹太人I can still be buried in a jewish cemetery.12200:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,120知道吗You know, I've always wanted12300:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,320我一直都想去哥特夜总会To go to a goth nightclub.12400:05:51,370 --> 00:05:52,320真的吗Really?12500:05:52,370 --> 00:05:53,590才怪呢Bazinga!12600:05:55,060 --> 00:05:59,160没有人能察觉到我的玩笑对吧None of you ever see my practical jokes coming, do you?12700:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,090你们俩去吗Okay, how about you two?12800:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,710我还带了几个纹身袖Look, I've got some extra tatoo sleeves.12900:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,830你带那么多干什么Why are you carrying extras?13000:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,840万一被哪个女人的乳环刮破了好有个替换呀In case I snag one on someone's nipple ring.13100:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,440我们就不去了Uh, yeah, I think we'll pass.13200:06:11,510 --> 00:06:16,510你现在就得"妻管严"了吗Oh, is the missus speaking for the couple now?13300:06:16,580 --> 00:06:19,610这件事肯定她说了算In this case, you bet she is.13400:06:21,850 --> 00:06:24,400是啊她很强势他受压迫Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped,13500:06:24,490 --> 00:06:28,240但是不能这么说But that's not the expression.13600:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,160快走我要去沃尔格林药店Come on, I want to stop at walgreens13700:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,030再多买几支眼线笔And pick up some more eyeliner.13800:06:37,180 --> 00:06:41,200他们在夜总会要被揍了They're gonna get beaten up at that club.13900:06:41,270 --> 00:06:44,400我看他们在药店就会被揍They're gonna get beaten up at walgreens.14000:06:47,890 --> 00:06:48,980抱歉谢尔顿Oh, sorry, Sheldon.14100:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,380我差点坐在你的专座上I almost sat in your spot.14200:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,230是吗我都没注意Did you? I didn't notice.14300:06:53,310 --> 00:06:55,180给你块巧克力吧Have a chocolate.14400:06:56,220 --> 00:06:58,180谢谢Thank you.14500:07:10,730 --> 00:07:15,000我觉得我们很适合这里I think we're fitting quite nicely.14600:07:15,070 --> 00:07:18,070要是你不喝低度啤酒就更好了It did help if you weren't drinking light beer.14700:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,260喝伏特加和蔓越莓果汁就显得比我更有哥特风格吗What's so gothic about vodka and cranberry juice?14800:07:21,340 --> 00:07:23,880是啊这看起来像在饮血Hello? It looks like blood.14900:07:23,930 --> 00:07:25,750你没去看我发给你的Did you even read the "wiki how" link15000:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,460手把手学哥特风格的WikiHow链接吗I sent you on being goth?15100:07:27,550 --> 00:07:30,130没我自己的东西还看不玩呢No, I'm behind on my wiki-reading.15200:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,940我正在读约翰·格里沙姆[法律惊悚小说《掮客》作者]I'm kind of on a John Grisham kick right now.15300:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,020什么What?15400:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,050我看完了《绝对机密》I finished reading The Pelican Brief15500:07:36,090 --> 00:07:38,530我太喜欢了已经完全身临其境了And loved it so much, I dived right into the client.15600:07:38,590 --> 00:07:39,560他本身就是个律师He was a lawyer himself,15700:07:39,590 --> 00:07:43,260所以他的小说内容的准确性和娱乐性都很强So his novels are accurate as well as entertaining.15800:07:43,610 --> 00:07:49,070要记住我们是浪荡子暗夜之子Just remember we are lost boys, children of the night.15900:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,570好的浪荡子暗夜之子Great. Lost boys, children of the night.16000:07:51,620 --> 00:07:52,790明白了Got it.16100:07:52,870 --> 00:07:56,630能帮忙把小吃递过来吗Can you pass the chex mix please?16200:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,210谢谢Thank you.16300:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,180我们是浪荡子We are lost boys.16400:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,300是吗Good for you.16500:08:08,390 --> 00:08:11,590其实我比他更放浪I'm actually much more lost than he is.16600:08:13,480 --> 00:08:14,730纹身不错Nice ink.16700:08:14,730 --> 00:08:16,650谢谢Thanks.16800:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,310能请两位小姐喝点东西吗Can we buy you ladies a drink?16900:08:19,370 --> 00:08:20,750两杯低度啤酒Two light beers.17000:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,600低度啤酒吗 "WiliHow"该把这个写进去Light beers. "Wiki how" about that?17100:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,610你们叫什么What's your names?17200:08:26,660 --> 00:08:29,110-我叫霍华德拉杰 -我是贝萨妮-I'm Howard. Raj. -I'm Bethany.17300:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,540很高兴见到你贝萨妮Nice to meet you, Bethany.17400:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,710很高兴Yes, very nice.17500:08:31,780 --> 00:08:33,210我也是Nice to meet you, too.17600:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,080我叫莎拉I'm Sarah.17700:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,920反正也没人关心Not that anyone cares.17800:08:39,900 --> 00:08:44,010两位小姐喜欢看约翰·格里沙姆的小说吗Do either of you ladies enjoy the novels of John Grisham?17900:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,450这动画片叫什么来着What's this cartoon called again?18000:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,170恶魔武士Oshikuru: Demon samurai.18100:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,820恶魔武士不是动画片Demon it's not a cartoon.18200:09:00,910 --> 00:09:03,130是动漫It'anime.18300:09:03,190 --> 00:09:04,440动漫Anime.18400:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,200高中时有个女生叫安娜·梅(Anime和Anna May谐音)You know, I knew a girl in high school named Anna May.18500:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,780安娜·梅·弗莱彻Anna May Fletcher.18600:09:10,780 --> 00:09:13,840她天生单鼻孔She was born with one nostril.18700:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,910她后来的整鼻手术很失败Then she had this bad nose job18800:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,910最后竟然弄成了三个鼻孔And basically wound up with three.18900:09:23,110 --> 00:09:26,320你现在经常混在这儿了You're here a lot now.19000:09:26,380 --> 00:09:28,330我话太多了吗Oh, am I talking too much?19100:09:28,390 --> 00:09:29,440抱歉我不说了I'm sorry. Zip.19200:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,570谢谢Thank you.19300:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,910吃块巧克力吧Chocolate?19400:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,310好的Yes please.19500:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,670基姆你好Oh. Hey, Kim.19600:09:44,990 --> 00:09:46,040请你稍等一下You know what,hold on.19700:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,800我到楼道里去接电话Let me take this in the hall.19800:09:56,460 --> 00:09:59,130你绝对想不到他们找谁来接替你的工作You'll never guess who they got to replace you at work.19900:10:00,670 --> 00:10:04,140我知道你在干什么了Okay, I know what you're doing.20000:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,610真的吗Really?20100:10:05,670 --> 00:10:08,590你在用巧克力做正面教法Yes, you're ung chocolates as positive reinforcement20200:10:08,660 --> 00:10:12,060对你认为良好的行为进行奖励For what you consider correct behavior.20300:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,920真聪明Very good.20400:10:16,920 --> 00:10:17,880来块巧克力吗Chocole?20500:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,970我不想要什么巧克力No, I don't want any chocolate!20600:10:23,220 --> 00:10:23,730谢尔顿Sheldon,20700:10:23,740 --> 00:10:28,730你不能拿我女朋友当实验鼠一样对待You can't train my girlfend like a lab rat.20800:10:28,730 --> 00:10:31,630事实证明我可以Actually, it turns out I can.20900:10:31,630 --> 00:10:34,570你不应该这么做well, you shouldn't.21000:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,700莱纳德就是没法让你满意是吧There's just no pleasing you, is there, Leonard?21100:10:36,790 --> 00:10:37,920你不满意You weren't happy21200:10:38,010 --> 00:10:39,910我之前那样对她With my previous approach to dealing with her,21300:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,680所以我决定根据桑代克和B.F.斯金纳的理论So I decided to employ operant conditioning techniques,21400:10:42,740 --> 00:10:44,910采取操作性条件反射的办法Building on the works of thorndike and B.F. Skinner.21500:10:44,980 --> 00:10:46,460下周的这个时候By this time next week,21600:10:46,550 --> 00:10:48,850我相信我能让她从水池里一跃而出I believe I can have her jumping out of a pool,21700:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,750用鼻子平衡塑料气球Balancing a beach ball on her nose21800:10:51,820 --> 00:10:55,090不行这一套必须打住No, this has to stop now.21900:10:55,160 --> 00:10:59,280我不是真的建议让她从水池里跳出来I'm not suggesting we really make her jump out of a pool.22000:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,190我以为你该听出了我的"才怪了"I thought the "bazinga" was implied.22100:11:01,260 --> 00:11:04,360咱们不过是调整她个性We're just tweaking her personality.22200:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,600用另一种说法就是把那些粗糙表面磨磨光Sanding off the rough edges, if you will.22300:11:06,670 --> 00:11:08,820不行你不能磨佩妮No. You're not sanding Penny.22400:11:08,870 --> 00:11:12,270你是说不许我使用Are you saying that I am forbidden22500:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,320能让改进我们生活的From applying a harmless, scientifically valid protocol22600:11:15,410 --> 00:11:16,980无害的科学有效的正常手段That will make our lives better?22700:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,980是的我不许Yes. You're forbidden.22800:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,220坏莱纳德Bad Leonard.22900:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,970那你们俩是做什么的So, what do you guys do?23000:11:35,020 --> 00:11:37,270就是些哥特东西喽Oh, you know, goth stuff.23100:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,190哥特杂志喽哥特音乐喽Goth magazines, goth music.23200:11:39,260 --> 00:11:40,830哥特食品喽Goth food.23300:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,010什么哥特食品What's goth food?23400:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,030呃黑焦三文鱼?Uh. Blackened salmon?23500:11:48,650 --> 00:11:51,320不是我是问你们的工作No, I meant what do you do for jobs?23600:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,040我们是科学家Oh, we're scientists.23700:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,430当然是黑科学的Yeah, you know, the dark sciences.23800:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,340什么是黑科学What are the dark sciences?23900:11:57,430 --> 00:11:58,590我们We...24000:11:58,660 --> 00:12:00,930我是个天体物理学家Well, I am an astrophysicist,24100:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,180很多工作都要在晚上进行And a lot of that takes place at night.24200:12:04,020 --> 00:12:06,170那时候也有吸血鬼呀When there are vampires24300:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,060僵尸呀什么的到处乱跑And miscellaneous undead out and about.24400:12:13,340 --> 00:12:14,840听起来很酷啊That sounds really cool.24500:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,780真的吗好吧要是你喜欢宇宙那类的Does it? Okay. If you like space stuff,24600:12:18,850 --> 00:12:20,870我设计国际太空站的部分呢I design components for the international space station,24700:12:20,950 --> 00:12:22,240在太空里Which is in space.24800:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,850你肯定知道那里没人能听到你喊叫Where, as I'm sure you know, no one can hear you scream.24900:12:28,790 --> 00:12:29,880那么两位女士是做什么的So, what do you gals do?25000:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,240我在盖普服装店I work at the gap.25100:12:31,330 --> 00:12:34,360真的可真有趣我曾经去过盖普啊Really? How about that? I've been to the gap.25200:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,500我也去过I've been there, as well.25300:12:35,550 --> 00:12:38,530我喜欢你们那种有小口袋的T恤衫I like your t-shirts with the little pocket.25400:12:38,590 --> 00:12:43,090我也在那儿上班反正也没人关心I work the, too. Not that anyone cares.25500:12:44,340 --> 00:12:46,890这地方真无聊You know, this place is boring.25600:12:46,980 --> 00:12:51,050可不咱们去别的地方开心开心吧Yeah why don't we go somewhere else and have some fun?25700:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,150好啊Okay.25800:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,600当然我们喜欢开心Sure we like fun.25900:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,070我们是开心的人We are fun people.26000:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,390又黑暗又开心Dark and fun.26100:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,190来吧我知道一个地方你们肯定喜欢Come on. I know a place you'll really dig.26200:13:03,230 --> 00:13:04,390你带来黑色避孕套吗Did you bring the black condoms?26300:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,560就在腰包包里啦In my fanny pack.26400:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,610走吧L et's go.26500:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,160现在高兴了Are you happy now?26600:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,840没有特别高兴Not particularly26700:13:22,480 --> 00:13:26,800天啊她没有吧My god, she didn't!26800:13:26,870 --> 00:13:30,150她究竟在说什么要这么久What could she possibly be talking about for so long?26900:13:30,220 --> 00:13:33,270显然在芝士蛋糕厂做招待Obviously, waitressing at the cheesecake factory27000:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,860是个复杂的社会经济性活动Is a complex socioeconomic activity27100:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,680而且需要相当多的研究与计划That requires a great deal of analysis and planning.27200:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,870才怪了"bazinga."27300:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,840知道么采用You know, using positive27400:13:46,900 --> 00:13:49,210正面鼓励式方法我能在一个星期之内Reinforcement techniques, I could train that behavior27500:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,110让她改变这个恶习Out of her in a week.27600:13:51,180 --> 00:13:52,380不No.27700:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,810要是你让我用负面鼓励法If you let me use negative reinforcement,27800:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,110睡觉前我就能做到I can get it done before we go to bed.27900:13:56,180 --> 00:13:59,620你不能用水喷她的脸You're not squirting her in the face with water.28000:13:59,670 --> 00:14:00,950当然不No, of course not.28100:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,990我说的是十分轻微的电击法We're talking very mild electric shocks.28200:14:04,020 --> 00:14:06,370连组织损伤都不会有No tissue damage whatsoever.28300:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,060别想了Forget it.28400:14:08,060 --> 00:14:10,340你不可能告诉我Oh, come on. You can't tell me28500:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,760给你打造一个更好的女朋友That you're not intrigued out the possibility28600:14:12,830 --> 00:14:14,660让你一点都不动心Of building a better girlfriend.28700:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,070我没有I'm not.28800:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,150佩妮的个性好的和坏的Well, and Penny's qualities, both good and bad,28900:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,300合成了她这个人Are what make her who she is.29000:14:23,690 --> 00:14:26,860你是说比如那个让人无法忍受的尖笑声You mean, like that high-pitched, irritating laugh?29100:14:29,250 --> 00:14:32,320你就不想希望一个低嗓门的笑声吗You wouldn't prefer a throaty chuckle?29200:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,050不许你改变佩妮的笑声You're not changing how Penny laughs.29300:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,090那才是荒诞呢No, that would be incongruous.29400:14:37,150 --> 00:14:38,590我打算把她的声音整体降低I was going to lower the whole voice29500:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,970到一个令人愉快的音区To a more pleasing register.29600:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,840对不起啦伙计Ugh. Sorry, guys.29700:14:42,930 --> 00:14:45,760那丫头是个怪物That girl is freaky.29800:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,660再说一遍Come again?29900:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,160怪物Freaky.30000:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,250怪物Freaky?30100:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,970怪物Ah, freaky.30200:14:58,580 --> 00:15:01,080吃块巧克力吧Have a chocolate.30300:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,950谢谢Thank you.30400:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,490你真打算破坏你的身体Are you seriously going to damage your body30500:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,460就为了有可能吊上一个Just for the possibility you could have cheap sex30600:15:16,530 --> 00:15:18,340在酒吧里遇到的马子?With a strange girl you met in a bar?30700:15:19,910 --> 00:15:21,630当然Yeah!30800:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,630你妈妈会怎么说What is your mother going to say?30900:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,470她根本看不到那里She's not going to see it.31000:15:25,540 --> 00:15:28,220她现在量我体温都是放嘴里的She takes my temperature orally now.31100:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,710霍华德你打算要什么样的What are you going to get, Howard?31200:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,730我不知道该选Well, I can't really decide31300:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,310尖叫魔鬼骇人小头骨Between a screaming devil, this mean little skull,31400:15:37,380 --> 00:15:39,720或是青蛙柯米特Or kermit the frog.31500:15:39,770 --> 00:15:42,130青蛙柯米特Kermit the frog? You know.31600:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,020你好我在霍华德的屁股上Hi-ho. I'm on Howard's butt.31700:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,490刺个骇人小头骨Get the mean little skull,。

生活大爆炸第三季剧本(英文版)S3E11

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E11 – The Maternal CongruenceScene: The apartment.Penny:Oh, I always tear up when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes.Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which could lead to congestive heart failure.Leonard(singing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.Penny: You really didn’t like it, Sheldon?Sheldon: No, on the contrary. I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character, and I was really with him right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved Christmas. What a buzz kill that was.Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.Sheldon:Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account. Leonard (continuing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Penny: I just love decorating the Christmas tree. It makes me feel like a little girl again.Leonard: We didn’t have a tree when I was growing up.Penny: Really? Why not?Leonard:Mmm, in my family, holidays weren’t so much c elebrated as studied for their anthropological and psychological implications on human society.Penny: Oh, sounds festive. Did you at least give presents?Leonard: Mmm, in a way. We presented papers, and then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each other.Penny: Sheldon, what about you? Did you have a Christmas tree?Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they induced neighbourhood-wide seizures.Penny: So I take it you don’t want to help us trim the tree.Sheldon: I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request that you add this.Penny: What is it?Sheldon: You’re kidding, right? It’s a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.Penny: Oh, sure, sure, yeah. Very Christmassy.Sheldon: Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree. Leonard: Here we go.Sheldon: December 25, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is born. Jesus, on the other hand, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday that celebrated the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. Which, frankly, sounds like more fun than 12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake.Leonard: Merry Newton-mas, everyone.Sheldon: I sense that’s not sincere, although I have no idea why.Penny: No, it’s fine. Look, Sir Isaac can go righ t next to this little candy cane.Sheldon: No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree.Sheldon:I understand. You dispute Newton’s claim that he invented calculus and you want to put Gottfried Leibniz on the top.Leonard: Yeah, you got me. I’m a Leibniz man.Sheldon:Well, perhaps when your mother gets here, she’ll talk some sense into you.Penny:What? Your… your mother’s coming? When?Leonard: Tomorrow.Penny: When were you going to tell me?Leonard: Um, tomorrow?Penny: Why were you keeping this a secret?Leonard: Well, I just, I thought…Sheldon:If I can interject here, obviously Leonard is concerned that his mother won’t approve of you as his mate.Penny: Why wouldn’t she approve of me? I’m adorable.Leonard: You are, it’s just…Sheldon: If I can interject again. Leonard comes from a remarkably high-achieving family, who have all chosen high-achieving partners. He probably feels that it’s doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu. Penny:Hey, it’s a big menu. There’s two pages just for desserts.Leonard: I know. And those specials, they change every day.Penny: Okay, you know what? It’s lame when I say it, it’s just ridiculous when you pile on.Leonard: Okay, sorry.Penny: So what did she say when you told her we were going out?Leonard:Um…Penny: You didn’t tell her we were going out, did you?Leonard: Um…Penny: Why not?Leonard:Um…Sheldon: Leonard, I’m no expert on meditation, but if you’re trying to calm yourself down, I believe the word is Om.Scene: Leonard’s car.Beverley: It was so nice of you to come all the way down to the airport to pick me up.Sheldon: No trouble at all.Leonard:I drove, Mother. I’m driving now.Beverley: Yes, dear. Mommy’s proud. I’ve been meaning to thank you for your notes on my paper disproving quantum brain dynamic theory.Sheldon: My pleasure. For a non-physicist, you have a remarkable grasp of how electric dipoles in the brain’s water molec ules could not possibly form a Bose condensate.Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. When did you send my mom notes on a paper?Sheldon: August 16th. Right after her carpal tunnel surgery.Beverley: Oh, did I thank you for the flowers?Sheldon: You did.Beverley: I don’t really like flowers.Sheldon: Neither do I, but it’s the social convention.Beverley:It is, isn’t it?Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. You had surgery?Beverley: Yes, and Sheldon sent me flowers.Beverley: Then what was all that wait, wait, wait about?Leonard:I just don’t understand why he knows more about your life than I do.Beverley:Well, I would assume it’s because Sheldon and I stay in touch due to mutual interest and respect, while you avoid me, due to unresolved childhood issues.Sheldon: It’s what we think caused your narcissistic personality disorder. We discussed it at length during our last video chat. Although how we got onto the subject of you is baffling.Beverley:Yes, but we are on the subject, so I’m obliged to ask, Leonard, how are you?Leonard: Fine, Mom. How are you?Beverley: Mmm, menopausal.Leonard: Now I’m less fine.Beverley: Have you heard your brother has gotten engaged?Leonard: No. Sheldon, why didn’t you tell me?Sheldon: My bad. I did send a gift from both of us.Beverley:She’s a remarkable girl. The youngest appeals court judge in New Jersey and a two-time Olympic bronze medallist.Leonard: You must be very happy.Beverley:Why? I’m not marrying her. So, how about you? Are you seeing anyone intere sting?Sheldon:Well, I’m not sure about interesting, but…Leonard: Not the time, Sheldon.Sheldon: Very well. Shall we switch topics to Isaac Newton v. Gottfried Leibniz?Beverley:It’s all right, Sheldon. I will just pretend that Leonard’s not withholdin g information. Although, I will point out, Leonard, that I am a trained psychiatrist and you are exhibiting the same secretive behavioural tics that accompanied your learning to masturbate.Sheldon: Isn’t she brilliant, Leonard? How I envy you.Scene: The apartment.Beverley: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings toward one another?Howard: What? No.Beverley: Why not?Howard:Because we don’t have latent homosexual feelings toward one anoth er.Beverley: I see.Howard: No, really. I have a girlfriend now.Beverley: And where is she this evening?Howard: She had to go out of town. Her grandmother died.Beverley: I see. Her grandmother died.Howard: Honest to God. Leonard, tell her I have a girlfriend.Leonard:I don’t know what you’re talking about.Howard:What do you mean you don’t know what I’m talking about? Tell her I have a girlfriend!Leonard:All right. He “has” a “girlfriend.”Howard: Her name is Bernadette, she’s working as a waitress, but she’s going to school to be a microbiologist.Beverley:Howard, keep in mind that the more passionately you stick to this construct, the more you’re hurting your partner.Howard(to Raj who has whispered to him): Do you really think your lips in my ear is helping?Penny (arriving): Hi. Sorry I’m late.Leonard: Oh, glad you’re here, uh, sit down, I’ll get you a plate. Mom, you remember Penny.Beverley: Oh, yes, the waitress slash actress with the unresolved father issues. Has he finally come to terms with his little slugger growing breasts?Penny:Well, he sent me a football and a catcher’s mitt for Christmas, so I’m going to say no.Howard: If it helps, we’re all good with your breasts.Beverley: Classic overcompensation. Oh, speaking of fathers, Leona rd, that reminds me, I’m divorcing yours.Leonard: What?Beverley: Yes. He was cheating on me.Leonard: No!Beverley: Yes, with some waitress from the university cafeteria. Can you believe it? A waitress? Oh, no offense, dear.Penny: No, it sounded like a compliment.Leonard: When did this happen?Beverley:Mmm, well, let’s see. Sheldon, when did I leave Leonard’s father?Sheldon: September 22nd.Beverley: Oh, yes, that’s right. The weekend after Leonard’s dog died.Leonard: Mitzy’s dead?Sheldon: She was old and blind, Leonard. What choice did we have?Leonard: I don’t believe this. Why am I the last to know?Beverley:Excuse me, Leonard, I am the one who’s getting a divorce, Mitzy is the one who is dead. Why are you the one making a fuss?Leonard:You’re right. I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m sorry, I’m way out of line!Beverley:So, Penny, what’s new in your life?Penny: Nothing. Not a damn thing.Scene: Penny’s car.Beverley: Thank you for driving me back to my hotel.Penny:Oh, it’s not a problem.Beverley: I was going to ask Leonard to do it, but he seemed a bit emotionally unstable and you don’t want someone like that operating heavy machinery.Penny: No, you do not.Beverley: Your check engine light is on.Penny: Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that. So, uh, you must be devastated about your divorce. Beverley:Oh, not at all. But I am a bit distressed to be in a vehicle that’s not subjected to regular maintenance.Penny:Come on, I mean, you’re not upset that your marriage is over?Beverley: Well, initially I felt so mething akin to grief and perhaps anger, but that’s the natural reaction of the limbic system to being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.Penny: Sure, sure.Beverley:Thankfully, my shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact that I haven’t had intercour se with him in eight years.Penny: Eight years?Beverley: Oh, that’s nothing. I’ve been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.Penny: Yikes. What’s so funny?Beverley: That’s exactly what I say during orgasms. Yikes.Penny: You know what? I could use a drink. Do you want to stop for a drink?Beverley: Oh, I don’t drink.Penny: I do, I’ll teach you.Scene: Leonard’s bedroom.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Leonard: What is it?Sheldon: I made tea.Leonard:I don’t want tea.Sheldon:I didn’t make tea for you. This is my tea.Leonard: Then why are you telling me?Sheldon:It’s a conversation starter.Leonard:That’s a lousy conversation starter.Sheldon:Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Che ckmate.Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?Sheldon: What I want is to be departing the Starship Enterprise in a one-man shuttle craft headed to the planetoid I rule known as Sheldon Alpha Five.Leonard: I want that too. Why are you here?Sheldon: To comfo rt you, of course. No, that’s not going to work at all, I’ll comfort you from over here. Leonard, what you’re experiencing is a classic Jungian crisis in which the aging individual mourns the loss of the never-to-be realized ideal family unit.Leonard: Tha nk you, that’s very comforting.Sheldon:That’s not the comforting part.Leonard:It’s not?Sheldon: No, no. The comforting part is that the Germans have a term for what you’re feeling. Weltschmerz. It means the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is to a hypothetical, idealized world. Leonard: You’re right, I do feel better.Sheldon: Well, the Germans have always been a comforting people. Just remember, Leonard, where your biological family has failed you, you always have me, your surrogate family.Leonard: You’re my surrogate family?Sheldon:If it’s any consolation, I’m not happy about it either. Good night.Scene: A bar.Penny: Okay, now this time try drinking it all at once.Beverley: Yikes.Penny: I’ve been responsible for my own buz z since 2003. Another round for me and my homegirl. Beverley: I feel a spreading warmth through my extremities.Penny: As long as you don’t feel it running down your pants, you’re fine.Beverley:Oh, that is fascinating. I’m noticing an immediate lowering of my inhibitions. For example, I’m seriously considering asking that busboy to ravish me in the alleyway while I eat cheesecake. What do you think?Penny: Well, we are known for our cheesecake. Hit us again.Beverley: Yes. If a little is good, more must be better.Penny: Hey, Bev, guess what?Beverley: What?Penny: I’m sleeping with your son.Beverley: Really? Which one?Penny: The one from whom I live across the hall from.Beverley:Well, that’s convenient. How did his penis turn out?Penny: Oh, Beverly, I can’t talk to my boyfriend’s mother about his penis.Beverley: Oh, fair enough. What can you tell me, if anything, about that busboy’s penis?Penny:Actually, I’ve only had the cheesecake. One more time. You know, Leonard did not want to tell you we were dating.Beverley: Really? Well, that means he’s either embarrassed about the relationship or he doesn’t care enough about his mother to tell her he’s in one. Either way, one of us should be insulted.Penny: Well, let’s go find out who.Beverley: You go ge t a taxi. I’m gonna slip my business card into that busboy’s back pocket, cupping his firm, right buttock as I do so.Scene: The apartment.Penny: Leonard?Beverley: Sonny boy!Penny: Get out here! Your mommy wants to talk to you!Leonard: What the hell is going on?Penny: You’re in trouble.Beverley: Why didn’t you tell me you were tapping my homegirl? Did I say that right?Penny: Yeah, not bad, not bad.Leonard: Are you guys drunk?Beverley: Well, I hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del T aco? Now, how could you not tell me you were in a relationship with this lovely, charming young woman?Penny: Oh, thank you.Beverley: You’re welcome. Is it because she’s uneducated, trapped in a menial service position?Penny: What the hell happened to lovely and charming?Leonard:How come you didn’t tell me that you and Father were getting a divorce? How come you didn’t tell me you had surgery? How come you didn’t tell me my dog died?Beverley: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What I hear you saying is that you want a more intimate mother-son relationship.Leonard: I do.Beverley (gives him an uncomfortable hug): There. It’s late. Now, go to bed. I’m getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart.Penny: That’s the Del Taco.Sheldon: Why is Leonard softly banging his head against his bedroom door?Beverley: Speaking of warm feelings, come here. (She grabs Sheldon and kisses him) No, I’d rather have the busboy.Scene: Leonard’s car.Beverley: Thank you for taking me to the airport.Sheldon: You’re very welc ome.Leonard: Once again, I’m driving. I’m right here.Beverley: Please, I am very hungover and in no mood to satisfy your need for approval. Sheldon, I do hope you’ll forgive me for my inappropriate behaviour last night.Sheldon: I don’t blame you. You we re intoxicated.Beverley: Thank you.Sheldon: I blame Penny.Penny: I blame Penny, too. Bad Penny.Leonard: Wait a minute, what are you talking about? What inappropriate behaviour?Beverley: I think it’s best that you not know.Sheldon: Agreed.Penny: Agreed.Leonard: What the hell, agreed.Beverley: And I want you to take very good care of this young woman.Penny: Oh, thank you, Beverly.Beverley: You’re welcome. She doesn’t have much in the way of career prospects, don’t make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.Leonard: Mother, remember when I was complaining that you don’t communicate with me enough? Beverley: Yes, dear.Leonard: I’m over it.Penny (finishing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la-la。

生活大爆炸第三季剧本(英文版)S3E20

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E20 – The Spaghetti CatalystScene: The lobby.Penny: Oh, damn, they cancelled my Visa. Oh, yay, a new MasterCard!Sheldon: Uh-oh.Penny: What?Sheldon: I was going to get my mail.Penny: Okay. Are, are you hoping to get it telepathically?Sheldon: I think you mean telekinetically. And no, I just wasn’t sure of the proper protocol now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.Penny: God, can we please just say no longer seeing each other?Sheldon: Well, we could if it were true. But as you live in the same building, you see each other all the time. The variable which has changed is the coitus.Penny: Okay, here’s the protocol, you and I are still friends, and you stop saying coitus.Sheldon: Good, good. I’m glad we’re still friends.Penny: Really?Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I’d hate for that effort to have been in vain.Penny: Right.Sheldon: Just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?Penny: Everyone.Sheldon: Harsh terms. But all right, I’ll just substitute intercourse.Penny: Great.Sheldon: Or fornication. Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones, so I’ll hold that in reserve.Penny: So, how you been?Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I’ve been what I am at each point in the implied time period. Penny: You’re just coitusing with me, aren’t you?Sheldon: Bazinga.Penny: Mmm. How’s Leonard doing?Sheldon: He seems all right. Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that. Penny: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it.Sheldon: I’d rather you pretend I didn’t say it. I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghe tti sauce. Penny: Yep.Sheldon: That’s the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that’s what the Romans made Jesus eat.Penny: Interesting. I’ll have to have you over for spaghetti some night.Sheldon: I’m hungry now.Penny: Oh. Um, okay. Why don’t you give me an hour and come over?Sheldon: Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?Penny: I don’t have hot dogs.Sheldon: Oh, it’s all right, I do. Oh! You’re in for what my mother calls a r eal Eye-talian treat. (Enters apartment).Leonard: Hey, where you been?Sheldon: I was talking with Penny.Howard: What’s wrong with you? You can’t hang out with your roommate’s ex. That’s totally uncool.Leonard: No, no, it’s fine. I don’t care. I’m over it.Raj: Yeah, he’s over it, that’s why he’s been whining all day about trying to invent that memory-wiper gizmo from Men in Black.Sheldon: Is he making any progress? Because I’d like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.Howard: So would Ben Affleck. The po int is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides. You’re either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.Sheldon: Which one picks last?Howard: What?Sheldon: Well, usually I’m on the team that picks last. Unless there’s a kid in a wheelchair.Leonard: Sheldon, I got you your tangerine chicken. I hope you’re hungry.Sheldon: Well, of course I’m hungry. And as I have no plans to eat with any other team, I will consume my tangerine chicken with the appropriate gusto. Mm, mm, mm!Leonard: Okay.Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, do we still have hot dogs?Leonard: I don’t know. Why?Sheldon: Just making dinner conversation. Go, Team Leonard!Credits sequenceScene: A few moments later.Howard: Oh, God, this is good.Raj: Let me ask you a question. Do you believe you’re going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork? Howard: Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.Leonard: Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?Sheldon: Certainly. It’s not like I have to moderate my food intake because I’m planning on eating ag ain very shortly. Mm, mm, mm!Leonard: So, you guys want to do something tonight?Howard: Nah, I can’t. I got to pick up my mom from her water aerobics class. 18 overweight women flapping their arm fat in a swimming pool. Looks like the manatee tank at Sea World.Leonard: What about you, Raj?Raj: Oh, there it is, now that you don’t have a girlfriend, you want to hang out with me again.Leonard: I never stopped hanging out with you.Raj: Oh, please, we all know I’m the friend you call when you have no other options. If we were the Justice League, I’d be Aquaman.Howard: I wish you were Aquaman. Then I could send you to scoop my mom out of the old lady tank. Sheldon: Excuse me, I’m thirsty, so I’m going to go to the refrigerator and get myself a refreshing be verage. Leonard:You know what? I’ll just spend the evening alone.Raj: What, suddenly I’m not good enough for you?Sheldon: Ah, I do so love beverages. Now I think I’ll take my after-dinner walk.Leonard: Since when do you take after-dinner walks?Howard: Yeah, since when do you take walks?Sheldon: I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increases serotonin, and you know me, if there’s one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it’s serotonin. Bye-bye. Howard: Hold on. I’ll walk down with you.Sheldon: Oh, that’s not necessary. You can go first.Howard: Or we could go together.Sheldon: I can’t think of a reason why not.Howard: Let’s go.Sheldon: Hold on. Nope, no reason.Raj: I’ve missed you.Scene: The lobby.Sheldon: All right, say hello to your mother for me.Howard: Okay.Sheldon: What?Howard: You said you were going for a walk.Sheldon: I didn’t say outside.Howard:So what, you’re just gonna walk up and down the stairs?Sheldon: No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.Woman’s voice: Here Bubbles. Here boy.Howard: Which way are you going?Sheldon: Which way are you going?Howard: I parked my scooter down the block.Sheldon:I’m going the other way. Bye.Howard: Bye. Actually, I’m this way. Do I smell hot dogs?Sheldon: No. I mean, I have no idea what you smell.Howard: I definitely smell raw hot dog.Sheldon:Perhaps you’re getting a brain tumour.Howard: All right, have a nice walk.Sheldon: I shall. Have a nice scoot.Howard: You might want to stand back. I’m sitting on top of 13 horses here.Sheldon: Oh. Hello, doggie. Nice doggie. I bet you think you smell hot dogs. Look, a cat!Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Penny, (knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Long pause, knock, knock, knock) Penny.(Penny opens door. A dishevelled Sheldon is holding up one hot dog.) Here. I had to trade the others for my life.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Hey, Leonard?Leonard: Yeah?Raj:I haven’t had sex in a year.Leonard: Where you going with this, Raj?Raj:Don’t flatter yourself, dude. I want to go out and meet a woman.Leonard: So, go.Raj: Well, I need a wingman. I don’t want to come off like a lonely loser.Leonard: And you think my presence will help with that?Raj: Well, I d o. Next to you, I’ll look like a catch.Leonard: I’m not going out tonight, Raj.Raj: All right. Would you mind if I went to your room and downloaded some Asian pornography? Leonard: Very much.Raj: Doesn’t have to be Asian.Leonard:Don’t worry. You’ll me et a girl someday.Raj:No, I won’t.Leonard: Yes, you will, and she’ll be beautiful, and kind and sexy and funny and everything you ever wanted in a woman.Raj: You really think so?Leonard: I do, and you’ll fall hopelessly in love and give her your heart. And she’ll take it and grind it into pathetic, little pieces.Raj:But we’ll have sex first, right?Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon: Mmm, mmm, mmm. That’s Eye-talian.Penny: So, um, was Leonard okay with you coming over?Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, he said, I’m fine, I don’t care. And he in no way said it in a manner which would lead one to believe that he was covering up feelings of anguish and betrayal.Penny: Well, good.Sheldon:I’m also pleased to report that he’s all cried out over you.Penny: He’s been crying?Sheldon: Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn’t supposed to mention.Penny: Oh, God, I feel terrible.Sheldon: Do you have a stomach ache, too?Penny: No. Why, do you?Sheldon: No.Penny: Why did you ask if I had one, too?Sheldon: Just making polite dinner conversation. Your turn.Penny: All right. So, what’s new in your life?Sheldon: Well, my new shoes are not made for running.Penny: Have you been running?Sheldon:No. It’s just a suspicion I have. Mmm, mmm, mmm.Penny: I’m so gla d you like it.Sheldon: I do. Leonard never cooks for me.Penny:Well, maybe that’s ’cause Leonard can’t cook.Sheldon:You can’t cook and you made me this.Penny:Whatever. Ooh, I’m gonna get the cheesecake out of the fridge.Sheldon:Oh, Lord, I’m in Jew ish hell.Scene: The apartment.Raj:Look at this. Do you think she’s really doing that or is it PhotoShop?Leonard: I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart never got naked with a room full of big, fat Japanese guys.Raj:You don’t know that. Prison changes people.Leonard: Hey, where you been?Sheldon: I told you, walking.Leonard: For an hour and a half?Sheldon: I got lost.Leonard: How could you get lost? Your phone has GPS.Sheldon: Satellites are down. Solar flares.Raj: There are no solar flares right now.Sheldon: Yes, there are.Raj: Dude, I’m an astrophysicist. If there were solar flares, I’d be all up in it.Sheldon:I’m sorry. I misspoke. What I meant to say was my battery died.Leonard: What the hell was that about?Raj:I don’t know. Do you think this is really Hillary Clinton doing it with Oprah?Leonard: Oh, we really need to get you a girl.Scene: Leonard’s bedroom. Leonard is asleep.Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (knock, knock, knock) Leonard. Leonard: Oh, just come in!Sheldon: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?Sheldon:Maybe this isn’t a good time.Leonard: Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you.Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.Leonard: What do you want?Sheldon: You may want to sit down.Leonard:I’m in bed!Sheldon: Point taken. You may want to sit up.Leonard: Sheldon!Sheldon:I’ve been seeing Penny behind your back.Leonard: Okay, when you say seeing Penny, what exactly does that mean?Sheldon: We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it. Well, little hot dog. I gave up the other five hot dogs to a real dog. A real, big dog. A hell hound. Tangential to the primary story. How about I circle back to it?Leonard: Fine. Why did you have dinner with Penny?Sheldon: I told you, she made spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.Leonard: Then why did you have Chinese food with us?Sheldon:I didn’t want to upset you. Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.Leonard: Is it possible he said Bros before Hos?Sheldon: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hos.Leonard: Sheldon, I don’t care if you want to be friends with Penny.Sheldon: Oh. Well, so the emotional turmoil that’s been keeping me from achieving REM sleep was entirely unjustified?Leonard: Yes.Sheldon: Well then as my meemaw would say, looks like we butchered a pig, but nobody wanted bacon. Leonard: I guess not.Sheldon: And now, as promised, the tangent. Sheldon and the Hell Hound, or How I Lost My Hot Dogs.Scene: The laundry room.Penny: Oh, um, I, I can come back.Leonard: D-don’t be silly. We’re neighbours, we’re going to run into each other, may as well get used to it. Penny: Yeah, I guess you’re right.Leonard: You used to it yet?Penny: Nope.Leonard: Me neither. Oh, Sheldon seemed think that I would be upset about you hanging out with him. But I just want you to know it’s fine.Penny: Oh, oh, good, because, um, his mother called me.Leonard: His mother?Penny: Yeah, she wants me to take him shopping for sheets and towels.Leonard: I was going to do that.Penny: Oh, well, then you, you do it.Leonard:No, I don’t want to do it. You can do it.Penny: Okay, you can take him for shoes.Leonard: I just took him for shoes.Penny: Well, all I know is he says they hurt his feet.Leonard:Fine. I’ll take him for shoes next Saturday.Penny: Oh, no, no, no, a bunch of us from work are going to Disneyland next Saturday and Sheldon wants to come.Leonard: Y ou’re taking him to Disneyland?Penny: Well, he heard me making plans on the phone. Was I going to say no?Leonard:All right. But let me know if you’re going to stuff him with junk food. I don’t want to bring home a nice dinner for him and see it go to waste.Penny: We’re going to Disneyland. He’s going to eat junk food.Leonard: Al l I’m saying is give me a heads-up.Penny: Okay, whatever.Leonard:And don’t let him go on Space Mountain after he eats. He’ll say he can handle it, but I promise you’ll end up with churro puke on your shoes.Penny: All right, got it. Is there anything else?Leonard:Yeah, don’t let Goofy near him. He’ll have nightmares and I’ll have to deal with it.Penny: What’s the problem with Goofy?Leonard: Wish I knew. He’s fine with Pluto.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Hey, do you think the elastic woman in The Incredibles needs to use birth control or can she just be a diaphragm?Howard: Well, that’s it. We’re officially out of things to talk about.Penny:We’re home.Leonard: It’s ten o’clock, where have you been?Sheldon: We stayed for the California Adventure water show. It was pure Disney magic.Leonard: I was going to see that with him.Penny: How was I supposed to know that?Sheldon:It’s all right. I’ll see it again with you.Leonard: And I have food here. You said you were going to call.Penny: I know, I know.Sheldon: I can still eat.Penny: No, you already threw up once. Go put on your PJs and brush your teeth.Sheldon:Okay, but just don’t fightLeonard: We’re not fighting.Penny: Just go.Leonard: Aren’t you going to thank Penny for taking you to Disneylan d?Sheldon: Thank you, Penny.Penny:You’re welcome, sweetie.Leonard: Want a cup of coffee?Penny: Oh, um, I should probably get going.Leonard:Come on. It’s just a cup of coffee.Penny: Yep, okay.Howard (to Raj, who has whispered to him): Oh, yeah, the whole thing seems a little twisted to me, too. Leonard: What am I smelling?Penny: Sheldon’s churro on my shoes.Scene: Sheldon’s bedroom.Penny:He’s such an angel when he’s asleep.Leonard: Yeah. Shame he has to wake up.Penny: I think we can do it.Leonard:Smother Sheldon in his sleep? Wouldn’t that be wrong?Penny: No, be friends. You and me.Leonard: Oh. Sure. Absolutely.Penny:Good. I’m glad.Leonard: Here’s an idea. I’m just throwing it out there, friends who have sex. Penny: Good night, Leonard.Leonard:Kidding. Just a couple of friends goofin’ around.Sheldon(in his sleep): No, Goofy, no.。

英语学习资料：《生活大爆炸》经典台词（中英双语对照版）

英语学习资料：《生活大爆炸》经典台词（中英双语对照版）Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm,冬天的时候，这个地方离电暖器最近，很暖和，and yet not so close as to cause perspiration;也不会很热到直流汗。

in the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there, and there.夏天的时候，这里又刚好可以吹过堂风，是来自这扇窗户和那扇的。

It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation,而且坐这里看电视的角度，可以直接看，又不会影响谈话，nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.不会太远，不至于造成脖子过分扭曲。

I could go on, but I think I've made my point.我可以继续，我想我已经说明白了。

别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?Fet? You want me to fet?我这脑子啥东西忘得掉啊!This mind does not fet.从我妈给我断奶后我就没忘掉过一件事I haven't fotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.- 那天是周二下着毛毛雨 - 好了...- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...你哭什么Why are you crying?我哭我自己蠢啊Because I'm stupid!那也没理由哭啊That's no reason to cry.人只有悲伤的时候才该哭One cries because one is sad.比如说其他人都太蠢我感到悲伤For example, I cry because others are stupid所以我才哭我和许多女生交往过Well,I've dated plenty of women.Joyce Kim还有Leslie Winkle...There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...通知牛津英语词典的编辑们Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. "许多"现在被重新定义为"两个"The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."Sheldon 你是个聪明人Sheldon,you are a *** art guy.- 你得知道 - 我是"聪明人"?- You must know... - I'm " *** art"?要被归为"聪明人" 我得去掉60点智商才行I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as " *** art."- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Koothrappali.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Hofstader.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Mr.Wolowitz.我是硕士I have a Master's degree.谁不是?Who doesn't?多年来我们一直潜心试图探究他将如何繁衍后代Over the years,we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce.我主张的是有丝分裂I'm an advocate of mitosis.什么?I'm sorry?我相信总有一天当Sheldon吃到一定量的泰国菜I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food他就会分裂成两个Sheldonand split into two Sheldons.另一方面我在想Sheldon可能是他这个物种的幼虫状态On the other hand,I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species,有一天他会做茧不出俩月就破茧成蝶and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.Howard 电话在响!Howard,the phone is ringing!我有个疯狂的主意老妈接电话如何!Here's a crazy idea,Ma: Answer it!你好?Hello?好的稍等All right,hold on.是你朋友 Leonard!It's your friend,Leonard!他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!He wants to know why you're not at school today!我不是去上学老妈我在大学就职I don't go to school,Ma. I work at a university.那就是学校! 快接电话!That's a school! Now pick up the phone!我谁都不想理I don't want to talk to anybody.要我叫Leonard把你的家庭作业带来吗?Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework? ! 我没什么家庭作业的I don't have homework.我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering! 抱歉了不起先生Excuse me,Mr. Fancy-Pants.想吃冰棒吗?Want me to get you a Popsicle?樱桃味的好吧!Cherry,please!樱桃味的我吃了只剩蔬菜味的了I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.你让我真想自杀呀You make me want to kill myself.她是位女生，她也是位朋友，但她不是我的，请原谅我做这个动作，"女朋友"She's a girl. She's a friend.She is not my-please five me for doing this--"Girlfriend."哼我不喜欢虫子怎么啦Yeah,well,I don't like bugs,okay?它们让我害怕They freak me out.有趣Interesting你既怕虫子又怕女人You're afraid of insects and women.瓢虫[英文: 女士+虫]还不得把你吓昏了Ladybugs must render you catatonic.不然你怎么考试How else are you gonna study for the tests?最好还要考试吗There's gonna be a test?可不止一次考试Test-sss.Sheldon 我看到你在为SmithsonianSo,Sheldon,I see you're anizing your papers傻冒儿博物馆赶论文呢for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.在撤下Leslie Winkle的永久展览前那里没有多余的展厅There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit.我和Sheldon谈过了他也不好受Um,I talked to Sheldon and he feels terrible and he agrees 他也觉得自己无理取闹有些过分了that he was unreasonable and out of line.真的?很好呀Really? Well,that's great.就给他道个小歉嘛?Yeah,so just apologize to him,okay?那么你和她...So,you and her...- 没啦普通邻居而已 - 真的?- No,just neighbors. - Really.隔壁住着这样的妞儿怎么都不行动啊I don't know how you live next door to that without doing something about it.其实... 科学才是我的女神Actually... science is my lady.那年是1995年The year was 1995.地点是密西西比州首府杰克逊The place: Jackson,Mississippi.我坐了整整十个小时的汽车Having spent ten hours on a bus,途中甚至两次违反了我自己定下的规定During which I had to twice violate my personal rule在行驶的车辆上上了厕所Against relieving myself on board a moving vehicle...等我终于到达I finally arrived第四届美国南部星舰迷年度大会现场At the fourth annual Dixie-Trek convention却发现我的偶像威尔•惠顿上别处玩去了Only to find that my idol Wil Wheaton decided he had决定不过来帮我的超级英雄玩具签名了Better things to do than to show up and sign my Action Figure.什么What?你背弃了我威尔•惠顿You betrayed me,Wil Wheaton.现在我的复仇来了Now I have my revenge.No,no,I understand.要是我奶奶有个三长两短Anything happened to my mee-maw,我肯定成了伤心欲绝的小甜派I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.我得澄清一下I should clarify that statement By explaining that she calls me "moon pie."我这么说是因为她叫我"小甜派"By explaining that she calls me "moon pie."这跟我爸说的完全一样That's exactly what my father said."来看球赛吧去看球赛吧""Come to the games. Watch the games."周复一周的Week in and week out from the time从五岁直到我上大学I was five until I went off to college.人生当中最漫长的七年Longest seven years of my life.这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言I see no anizational system in here whatsoever. 你周一穿什么 ***Which panties do you wear on Mondays?我不要 ***I don't need panties.只要短裤和衬衫I just need shorts and a shirt.妈妈经常跟我说My mother always told me一个人要穿干净 ***one should wear clean underpants以防发生意外in case one is in an accident.星星好漂漂啊Stars are pretty,aren't they?在那高高的地方Up above the world so high.像天上的小钻石Like little diamonds in the sky.太优美了兄弟That's beautiful,dude.你应该把这句话写下来You should... you should write that down免得被人山寨了before someone steals it.How did you see it?你说了不看的You said you wouldn't look.不好意思Sorry.正如我所说是英雄就偷窥As I told you,the hero always peeks你好克瑞普克Hello, Kripke.你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧This classic prank es to you来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿•库珀from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face,这段视频即刻就会上传到YouTubethis video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.并感谢莱纳德•霍夫斯塔德和拉杰•库萨帕里Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali 感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.我计划逃回印度去你呢实验日志第一篇Research journal, entry one.我准备开展I'm about to embark on one of科学生涯中的巨大挑战之一the great challenges of my scientific career:教佩妮物理学teaching Penny physics.我称之为大猩猩工程Please,please,I don't have a lot of time.听着 Ramona总算打瞌睡了你得帮我甩了她Look,Ramona finally dozed off,and I need you to help me get rid of her.甩了她? 怎么个甩法?Get rid of her how?我不知道但显然我正处于某种关系中I don't know,but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship,而你似乎是终结这类关系的老手and you seem to be an expert at ending them.你说什么?Excuse me?我看见男人们一个接一个从这儿离开倒是没见过再回来的I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.Sheldon 你真的很宽宏大量谢谢你我很感激Sheldon,this was big of you. Thank you. I really appreciate it.谢谢Thank you.- 晚安 Sheldon - Penny...- Good night,Sheldon. - Penny...- 啥? - 你有一手- Yes? - Well played.谢谢Thank you.但请记住能力越大责任越大 (出自)Just rember: with great power es great responsibility.明白Understood.不是厉害是错误我没有改我的状态呀It's not bold,it's a mistake. I didn't change my status.那是谁改的?Well,then who did?我没的选择他在她面前哭了I had no choice. He cried in front of her.我明白你这么做觉得自己很大方但赠送礼物的基础原则是礼尚往来I know you think you're being generous,but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity.你不是给我一份礼物You haven't given me a gift.你给了我一份责任You've given me an obligation.别太郁闷 Penny 一般新手都会犯这个错误Don't feel bad,Penny,it's a classic rookie mistake.我和Sheldon过的第一个光明节他吼了我八夜My first Hanukah with Sheldon,he yelled at me for eight nights.没事的你用不着回赠礼物的Now,hey,it's okay. You don't have to get me anything in return.我当然得回赠了Of course I do.风俗的精髓就在于我得去给你买份价值相当的礼物The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of mensurate value才能够代表你的礼物所表达的相同的情意and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me.怪不得每年这个时候自杀率狂飙呀It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.忘了这事吧我不会送你礼物了Okay,you know what? Fet it. I'm not giving you a present.不太迟了我看见了No,it's too late. I see it.那个精灵贴纸上写着"赠Sheldon"That elf sticker says,"To Sheldon."就是啊看别人热闹最乐呵I know. It's funny when it's not happening to us.Sheldon 我真的非常抱歉Sheldon,I am very,very sorry.不我自找的谁叫我出现在你生命里又那么可爱那么举足轻重呢No. No,I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life.我需要有人载我去卖场I'm going to need a ride to the mall.风水轮流转我们该倒霉了It's happening to us.这在Penny压力很大的前提下才有用That presupposes Penny is tense.她了解你她会压力很大的咱不都是嘛快买礼品篮吧!She knows you. She's tense. We all are. Buy a basket!喔太好了 Penny 你终于来交换礼物了Ah,good,Penny,you're here to exchange gifts.你一定很高兴因为我的回礼准备很周到哦You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared for whatever you have to offer.行~ 给你Okay,here.先说一句我的肠胃不太舒服I should note I'm having some digestive distress,所以要是我突然离开一阵你可别慌so,if I excuse myself abruptly,don't be alarmed.你知道这对我意味着什么吗?!Do you realize what this means?!只需要一个健康的卵细胞就可以培育属于我的Leonard Nimoy 了!All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!Sheldon 你这是干嘛?!Sheldon! What did you do?!我知道啊!I know!这点东西咋够呢It's not enough,is it?这样好了Here.Leonard 看啊 Sheldon拥抱我了诶Leonard,look! Sheldon's hugging me.真是农神节的奇迹呀It's a Saturnalia miracle.什么?What?他说也许我们该拿你参加机器人杀手大赛He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot petition.Sheldon 你干嘛呢?Sheldon,what are you doing?我和这小女孩交朋友呢你叫什么名字?I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name?RebeccaRebecca.嗨 Rebecca 我是你的新朋友SheldonHi,Rebecca. I'm your new friend,Sheldon.不别搞了走吧No,you're not. Let's go.- 我俩聊得正投机呢 - 别抬头上面有摄像头维持五个朋友的友情太困难了所以...Maintaing five friendships promises to be a Herculean task,so...我要开除你们其中一个I'm going to have to let one of you go.我我选我吧Me,me,let it be me.我有罪啊我淘汰了Guilty as charged. I'm out.不你也安全No. You too are safe.哦不是吧我该怎么做呀?Oh,e on. What do I have to do?来拿点吧有钱了再还Here. Take some. Pay me back when you can.哇里面钱还不少啊Wow,you got a lot of money in there.所以才派蛇来看守嘛That's why it's guarded by snakes.- 拿点吧 - 别犯傻了- Take some. - Don't be silly.我才不傻I'm never silly.我的花销占我税后工资的46.9%My expenses account for 46. 9% of my after-tax ine.其他钱就分摊给小的储蓄帐户The rest is divvied up between a *** all savings account,也就是这个糊弄人的花生脆罐子this deceptive container of peanut brittle还有一个超级英雄手办被掏空的 ***and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure为了他的安全起见将继续隐姓埋名who shall remain nameless for his own protection.或者说为了她的安全起见Or her own protection.我考虑了一下那个问题You know,I've given the matter some thought,我想我愿意做高智商外星人的宠物and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens.有意思Interesting.问问我为什么Ask me why.必须问啊?Do I have to?当然了这样才能继续对话啊Of course. That's how you move a conversation forward.为什么呢?Why?将会有很多学习的机会The learning opportunities would be abundant.还有呢我喜欢人家挠我肚肚Additionally,I like having my belly scratched.干得好啊 LeonardWell done,Leonard.真正的英雄不求恭维The true hero doesn't seek adulation.出于本性为正义和公平而战He fights for right and justice simply because it's his nature. 我错了I was wrong.歌手会写歌来歌颂你啊Minstrels will write songs about you.* 曾有一位勇敢的青年他的名字叫做Leonard ** There once was a brave lad named Leonard ** 满嘴跑火车逞英雄 ** With a -fi fiddle dee-dee ** 他与可怕巨人对峙 ** He faced a fearsome giant ** 而Raj却只想嘘嘘 ** While Raj just wanted to pee.*见到你真好妈妈Good to see you,Mother.这是你要的茶妈妈Here's your tea,Mother.- 乌龙茶? - 嗯- Oolong? - Yes.- 散装的不是袋泡的? - 嗯- Loose,not bagged? - Yes.- 泡了三分钟? - 嗯- Steeped three minutes? - Yes.- 加了2%的牛奶 - 嗯- Two-percent milk? - Yes.- 分开加热的? - 嗯- Warmed separately? - Yes.- 一茶勺糖? - 嗯- One teaspoon sugar? - Yes.- 原糖? - 嗯- Raw sugar? - Yes.凉了It's cold.我再来一回I'll start again.我们说到哪了?So,where were we?Howard和他妈妈一起住 Raj只有喝醉了才和女人讲话Howard lives with his mother and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk.开讲吧Go.说啥?Say what?不就是我刚说的嘛That's basically what I just said.你带老公来上班你知道规矩的You brought your hu *** and to work. You know the rules.那是我的座That is my spot.在这个不断变化的世界中那是唯一一个连续点In an ever-changing world,it is a single point of consistency.如果将我的人生比作四维笛卡尔坐标系里的一个函数If my life were expressed as a function on a four-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system,在我第一次坐上那儿的时候那个座的坐标就是(0,0,0,0)that spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.好吧All right.好了舒适惬意安逸 0 0 0There,nice and fy cozy. Zero,zero,zero.少了个0There's one more zero.你把时间参数忘了You fot the time parameter.坐你的沙发吧Sit on the damn couch.宝贝你好...Hey,baby...他的右手给他打电话了?His right hand is calling him?不是啦是Leslie Winkle 说来话长No,it's Leslie Winkle. It's a long story.但...一切都变了But... Oh,this changes everything.什么是真的? 什么不是? 我怎么知道?What's real? What isn't? How can I know?那么你们干嘛还坐火车?Well,then why are you doing it?我们投票来着 3票坐飞机Well,we had a vote. Three of us voted for airplane.Sheldon投坐火车所以我们坐火车Sheldon voted for train. So we're taking the trn.我是找到盒子了但没有钥匙Okay,I got a box,but there's no key in here.都是信Just letters.拿错盒子了放回去That's the wrg box. Put it back.哦 Sheldon 都是你外婆寄的信?Oh,Sheldon,are these letters from your grandmother?表读那些信哦!Don't read those letters!呀瞧瞧她叫你"月亮派" 多可爱啊Oh,look,she calls you "Moon Pie." That is so cute.快把信放下!Put down the letters!- 我来了 - 咋样月亮派?- I'm back. - What up,Moon Pie?除了外婆谁都不许叫我月亮派Nobody calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!她叫我月亮派是因为我太口耐她想把我吃掉She calls me Moon Pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.我是物理学家I'm a physicist.我对整个宇宙及其包含的事物都有所了解I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.Radiohead是干嘛的?Who's Radiohead?我对整个宇宙及其包含的重要事物都有所了解祝你好运了I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe. Good luck.Penny 这是你的生意你有最终决定权Penny,this is your enterprise,so it's ultimately your decision, 但鉴于Leonard的工作质量我强烈建议把他打发掉but based on the quality of his work,I'd strongly remend that we let Leonard go.你想开了我?You want to fire me?我想怎样没关系是Penny的决定What I want is irrelevant. This is Penny's decision.早知道我要在周六晚上做这个我还不如待在印度You know,if I wanted to spend my Saturday nights doing this,I could have stayed in India.Penny 打工仔团体是需要好好教育的Penny,the labor force is a living ani *** that must be carefully nurtured.任何会产生不良后果的抱怨必须及时喝止看着Any counterproductive grumbling must be skillfully headed off by management. Observe.少说话多干活Less talk,more work!- 做的好 - 谢谢- Nicely done. - Thank you.你要看到什么交头接耳告诉我You hear any union talk,you let me know.要不要来点咖啡?Honey,do you want some coffee?我不喝咖啡I don't drink coffee.行了你要是睡过去了我们肯定完成不了Come on,but if you don't stay awake we'll never finish in time.对不起但是我绝不喝咖啡I'm sorry,coffee's out of the question.当我搬来加利福尼亚我答应妈妈不磕药的When I moved to California,I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.Sheldon 我们还有380个要做呢Sheldon,we still have 380 of these things to make.晚安你们行的我对你们绝对有信心I have plete faith that you will make them. Good night.Leonard?Leonard?但是 Shelon 没了你英明的领导我们的事业绝对是做不起来的But,Sheldon,without your insight and leadership this entire enterprise will surely fail.当然你说的对You're right,of course.来这个会有帮助Here,this will help.好吧但要这让我上瘾或产生幻觉Very well,but if this leads to opiates or hallucinogenics,你得去和我妈交待了you're going to have to answer to my mother.好吧我了解了你生气了Okay,I get it,you're angry.你不愿见到你的小鸟飞离巢穴You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest."小鸟"? 你都快30了!"Little bird"? You're almost 30!飞吧我的神呐!Fly,for God's sake!好我不搬! 开心了吧疯婆子?Fine,I'll stay! Ya happy,crazy lady?这么说吧我要怎么解释好呢?Oh,let's see. How can I explain this?他们不知道如何使用他们的盾Um,they don't know how to use their shields.盾?Shields?是的就像里的当你要战斗时你要举起你的盾Yeah,you know,like inStar Trek,when you're in battle and you raise the shields?这想法从哪儿冒出来的?Where the hell'd that e from?Penny 我发现你今晚也是一个人所以如果在某个时候Penny. I realize you're also on your own tonight,so if,at some point,你感觉到无聊了请千万不要来打扰我you find yourself with nothing to do,please do not disturb me.我几个礼拜前去你们那儿你们正巧不在我就忘在那儿了Well,I went in there a few weeks ago and you guys weren't home and I fot it there.你去了我的... 为什么... 你在说什么?You went in my... Why would... What are you saying?又没啥大不了的我不过是泡咖啡时没牛奶了It's not a big deal. I was making coffee and I ran out of milk.你是那个偷奶贼!You're the milk thief!Leonard说我多心了可我就是觉得盒子变轻了Leonard said I was crazy,but I knew that carton felt lighter Penny?干嘛What?我睡不着I can't sleep.也许是因为你的大窟窿还张着Maybe that's because your hole is still open.我想家I'm homesick.你家离这不过20尺Your home is 20 feet from here.20尺还是20光年这都不重要20 feet,20 light-years,it doesn't matter.在我这如同一个星系那么遥远It's in a galaxy far,far away.可恶Damn it.你想让我怎么办What do you want me to do?给我唱"软软凯蒂猫"Sing "Soft Kitty."那是只有你生病时才唱的歌That's only for when you're sick.思家也是一种病Homesick is a type of being sick.拜托真的要唱吗Come on,do I really have to?那设想下我们通宵达旦闲话家常I suppose we can stay up and talk.- Penny? - Yeah?谢谢你留我在这过夜Thank you for letting me stay here.不客气甜心You're wele,sweetie.好我已经困了你出去Okay,I'm sleepy now. Get out.不知道我为啥要担心I don't see why I have to worry.又不是我的事业悬而未决My career's not hanging in the balance. 开玩笑呢That was a joke.很好笑It's funny,因为这是事实because it's true.休斯顿这里是国际空间站Houston,International Space Station.我们这有点小状况We have a little situation up here.我们要临时安排一次太空行走We'd like to make an unscheduled space walk.国际空间站这里是休斯顿I.S.S.,Houston.将有哪些成员出舱?Which crew members would be involved in this E.V.A.?我们都想出舱走走Houston,we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes.这将不予批准I.S.S.,I'm afraid we can't authorize that.其实我们只是通知一下Houston,this is more of an FYI call.我们已经被迫出舱了We are basically out the door.好家伙的我的宗教说如果我们这一世受苦下一世会得到回报的My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next.和Sheldon在北极呆三个月Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon,我就能转世投胎成一个长翅膀的大 *** 亿万富翁了!and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!。

生活大爆炸第五季第三季

Morsel n. （食物）的一小口，一小块Sitter n. 保姆Compulsion n. 强制（行为），强迫（行为），强制力，强迫力Eat dirt 受辱 a compulsion to eat dirt 强迫受辱Heartbreaking adj. 令人心碎的Clientele n. 老顾客Wouldn’t you be more comfortable at home? 你在自己教不会更自在些吗？【wouldn’t you …? 你难道不…？】Running commentary 实况报道【commentary n. 评论，述评；广播电影的解说】I have been told sometimes I overstay my welcome. 我有时会被告知自己做客时间过长。

【overstay one’s welcome 做客】Gynecologist n. 妇科医生Railroading n. 铁路修筑，铁路经营Railroad n. 铁路Gauge n. 铁道的轨距，汽车的轮距Controversial adj. 有争议的Which side do you come down on? 你支持哪边？【come down on 支持】It’s O-gauge or no gauge. O距离的铁路，舍O其谁Grown man 成年人Closet n. 柜子Illusion n. 幻想Attic n. 阁楼She actually has hair on her chinny-chin-chin. 在她下巴上确实有胡子。

【chin n. 下巴】Not now, not ever. 现在不会，将来也不会。

Movie theatre 电影院Shower n. 冲澡；浴室Out of curiosity 出于好奇I’m up all night. 我整晚都不睡Possum n. 夜猫子You were not liked at high school. 你在高中是不是不受欢迎It’s reserved for …它应该赏赐给Make the movie 看电影Hang on 等等Self-respect n. 自尊自爱Set food in 进入Give-and-take on the merit ofMerit n. 优点，长处，价值Hymen n. 处女膜Briefcase n. 公文包Give-and-take 平等互换Setup n. 计划，方案Intimidate v. 恫吓，恐吓，威胁Spine n. 骨气，勇气；spineless adj. 没骨气Rube n. 乡巴佬I need somebody to accompany me to the wedding. 我需要有人陪我去参加婚礼。

生活大爆炸第三季S3E5 中英文对照剧本

你当时不在小食店 You had left the refreshment stand 你去解决习惯性提前出现的尿急了 In order to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination. 就因为这个 Oh,so that's how it works? 就因为我的膀胱小我就不能有漂亮女友了 I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend? 对拉杰就因为这个 Yeah,Raj. That's how it works. 靠 Damn. 能给我张纸巾吗 Can I have a napkin? 抱歉不行 I'm sorry,no. 你有好几张呢 But you have whole bunch of 'em. 对我现在用的是四张纸巾体系 Yes,I've moved to a four-napkin system. 分别对应腿手脸和个人紧急情况 Lap,hands,face and personal emergency. 你需要的话明天开始 If you like,starting tomorrow, 我会加一张客用纸巾 I'll add a guest napkin, 但我今天实在无能为力 But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you today. 好运那是擦脸纸巾 Good luck. That's the face napkin. 你跟佩妮说了吗 So,have you talked to Penny yet? 还没有 No,I haven't. 为什么 Why not? 因为我很忙 Because I've been busy, 因为我不知道怎么跟她提 Because I haven't figured out a way to bring it up, 最主要的是 "特别强调这点" And mostly-- and I can't stress how key this is-因为我不想提 Because I don't want to.

生活大爆炸第三季剧本(英文版)S3E22

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E22 – The Staircase ImplementationScene: Penny’s apartment.Penny:Okay, Babydoll Pink, let’s see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad’s feet.Leonard(voice off): It’s just two degrees, Sheldon. I just want to tu rn up the thermostat two degrees! Sheldon: (voice off): Let me point out that two degrees can be the difference between water and steam. Leonard(voice off): Yes, if we lived in a teakettle.Sheldon: (voice off): This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.Leonard(voice off): Aw, screw the roommate agreement!Sheldon: (voice off): No, you don’t screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you. Leonard(voice off): You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.Sheldon: (voice off): I don’t have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I’m there already!Penny(after a knock on the door): Who is it?Leonard: Leonard.Penny: Hang on.Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight?Penny: Uh, well, you can try, but the people across the hall are being very noisy.Leonard: You heard that, huh?Penny: Apparently, the one fella tried to adjust the thermostat, then the other fella went bat-crap crazy. Leonard: So you agree, he’s nuts.Penny: Well, not as nuts as the guy who chooses to live with him.Leonard: Believe it or not, he was worse when I met him.Penny: Oh, I do not believe that.Leonard: You are so naive. Just like I was seven years ago.I’d just started at the university.(Flasback: The lobby)Past Leonard: Excuse me, I’m looking for Sheldon Cooper’s apartment.Man with a box: Oh, I bet you’re here to check out the room for rent.Past Leonard: Yeah.Man: Run away, dude.Past Leonard: What?Man: Run fast, run far.(End of flashback.)Leonard: That should have been my first clue.Scene: Moments later.Penny: So Sheldon’s last roommate tried to warn you off?Leonard: For all I knew, he was the crazy one. He had this really deranged look.Penny: Well, yeah, he’d been living with Sheldon.Leonard: Sure, it makes sense now.(Flashback. Past Leonard is getting out of the lift). Anyway, I went upstairs and knocked on the door. Large Black Transvestite: Yeah?Past Leonard: Dr. Cooper?Transvestite: No, you want the crazy guy across the hall.Leonard: In retrospect, that was clue number two.Past Sheldon: Yes?Past Leonard: I’m Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment. You said…Past Sheldon: I know what I said. I know what you said. I know what my mother said on March 5, 1992. What is the sixth noble gas?Past Leonard: What?Past Sheldon: You said you’re a scientist. What is the sixth noble gas?Past Leonard: Uh, radon?Past Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?Past Leonard: Telling you? Telling you.Past Sheldon: All right, next question. Kirk or Picard?Past Leonard: O h, uh, well, that’s tricky. Um, well, uh, Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk.Past Sheldon: Correct. You’ve passed the first barrier to roommate-hood. You may enter.Past Leonard(Enters apartment. It is bare except for two lawn chairs, a television and some whiteboards): Oh, this is pretty nice. Uh, the bedrooms are back there?Past Sheldon: That depends.Past Leonard: I don’t understand, their, their existence is conditional?Past Sheldon: No, but your ability to perceive their existence is conditional on you passing the second and third barriers.Past Leonard: There’s three?Past Sheldon: Each more daunting than the last. Have a seat.Past Leonard: Okay.Past Sheldon: No! That’s where I sit!Past Leonard: What’s the difference?Past Sheldon: This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected t o conversation. As a result, I’ve placed it in a state of eternal dibs.Past Leonard: Can you do that?Past Sheldon: Cathedra mea, regulae meae. That’s Latin for my chair, my rules. Now, you said on the phone that your area of study is physics.Past Leonard: Uh, yeah, experimental physics.Past Sheldon: Hmm.Past Leonard: What is that?Past Sheldon: Doesn’t concern you. You’ll be going to the university every day?Past Leonard: Yes.Past Sheldon: And you have a vehicle?Past Leonard: A car, yeah.Past Sheldon: And you’ll be willing to drive me?Past Leonard: Well, can’t you drive?Past Sheldon: I can. I choose not to.Past Leonard: Okay, I suppose I could drive you. Well that’s a point in my favour, right?Past Sheldon: Why don’t you let me do this.Past Leonard: Come on, I just asked.Past Sheldon: Last question. In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, re-establishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind?Past Leonard: Uh, I’m gonna go with preserving the knowledge.Past Sheldon: That’s correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating. Come, I’ll show you the rest of the apartment.Past Leonard: Oh, good. I passed the barriers.Past Sheldon: The second barrier. Don’t get cocky. This is the bathroom. Are you fairly regular?Past Leonard: Uh, I guess.Past Sheldon: This isn’t going to work if you’re guessing. When do you evacuate your bowels?Past Leonard: When I have to.Past Sheldon: When you have to? I’m sorry, I don’t rent to hippies.Past Leonard: I, I’m sorry, uh, in the morning. Around eight.Past Sheldon: I can’t give you eight. I can give you seven thirty.Past Leonard: Fine. I’ll take it.Past Sheldon: Third barrier passed. You have won the right to see your room. Huzzah!Past Leonard: Is this it?Past Sheldon: No, this is my room. People don’t go in my room.Past Leonard: So where do you sleep?Past Sheldon: I don’t understand.Past Leonard: If people don’t go in there, and you’re people, and… You are people, aren’t you? Making a joke.Past Sheldon: Do you do this often?Past Leonard: On occasion.Past Sheldon: Your room. You may want to repaint.(End of Flashback)Penny: Okay, and after all that, you just moved in?Leonard: No, I didn’t just move in. First we had to iron out a few details.(Flashback: The apartment)Past Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon’s brilliant new series Firefly.Past Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?Past Sheldon: We might as well settle it now, it’s going to be on for years. Initial here. All right, that’s television and movies. Section nine, miscellany. The apartment’s flag is a gold lion rampant on a field of azure.Past Leonard: We have a flag?Past Sheldon: Never fly it upside down unless the apartment’s in distress. And next, if either of us ever invents time travel, we agree our first stop will be this meeting today in precisely five seconds.Past Leonard: Okay.Past Sheldon: Well that’s disappointing.(End of flashback.)Penny: Why on earth did you agree to all that?Leonard: It was the best apartment I’d seen, the rent was very reasonable and after you’ve passed the first three barriers you kind of want to take it all the way.Penny: Well, I’m sorry, Leonard, it’s very hard to feel sympathy for you.Leonard: Okay, how about this? Let me tell you about the first time I brought a girl over.(Flashback to Leonard’s bedroom.)Past Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Past Leonard: Shh. Just pretend we’re not here.Past Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Leonard?Past Leonard: I’m sure he’ll go away.Past Sheldon: I’m just going to keep knocking till you answer. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Past Leonard: What do you want? I didn’t say come in!Past Sheldon: You asked what I wanted. I wanted to come in. I’m here because you violated our roommate agreement. Specifically, section eight, visitors, subsection C, females, paragraph four, coitus. Roommates shall give each other 12 hours notice of impending coitus.”Past Leonard: I didn’t even know her 12 hours ago.Joyce Kim: That’s it! I’m out of here!Past Leonard: But, Joyce, come on.Past Sheldon: 12 hours?(End of flashback.)Penny: Oh, my God.Leonard: Do I get some sympathy now?Penny: A little bit. Okay. Let me get this straight. You move in with this guy, he makes you sign a ridiculous roommate agreement, then he walks into your bedroom while you’re doing this Joyce Kim, and you still stay?Leonard: Actually, I couldn’t get too mad at him about Joyce Kim.Penny: Why not?Leonard: Well, I was doing some government research at the time, you know, military, rocket fuel. It’s kind of secret.Penny: What does that have to do with Joyce Kim?Leonard: As it turns out, she was a North Korean spy. Luckily, Sheldon drove her out before I revealed anything important. Which I’m not saying I would have.Penny: So, what, that’s it? You’ve stayed with Sheldon all this time because he kept you from going to federal prison?Leonard: That was part of it. The other part is what happened with the elevator.Penny: Oh, yeah, I’m wondering about that. You said it was working when you moved in.Leonard: It was, but one nig ht, Sheldon came home from work…(Flashback, the apartment. The settee has now appeared. Leonard, Howard and Raj are playing a video game.)Past Sheldon: What is going on here?Past Leonard: Hey, Sheldon. This is Howard and Raj. They work at the university, too.Past Howard: Hey.Past Raj: Hey.Past Sheldon: I’ll get to you later. What are you sitting on?Past Howard: I can’t speak for these guys, but I’m sitting on my tushie. It’s a joke.Past Leonard: Yeah, not a good idea.Past Raj: Tushie is buttocks, right?Past Howard: Right.Past Raj: Hilarious.Past Sheldon: Explain the couch.Past Leonard: Oh, well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for ahundred dollars. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.Past Sheldon: But what’s wrong with the furniture we have?Past Leonard: They’re lawn chairs. And there was no place for company.Past Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design?Past Leonard: According to the roommate agreement, I’m entitled to allocate 50% of t he cubic footage of the common areas.Past Sheldon: But you didn’t notify me by e-mail, so this is still a breach.Past Leonard: I did notify you.Past Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you? Oh, drat! Hoisted by my own spam filter.Past Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?Past Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano, entitled this is funny.Past Raj: Oh, yeah, I saw that. That was hilarious.(End of flashback.)Penny: Okay, what does all this have to do with the elevator?Leonard: I’m getting to it.(Back to flashback.)Past Sheldon: I assure you, you’ll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs.Past Raj: Okay, do you have an opinion about everything?Past Sheldon: Yes.Past Howard: And you just assume you’re always right?Past Sheldon: It’s not an assumption. Change seats with me.Past Raj: Why?Past Sheldon: I don’t like this spot. I have to keep turning my head.Past Raj: Fine.Past Leonard: Ooh, it’s time for Babylon 5!Past Sheldon: We don’t watch Babylon 5 in this apartment.Past Leonard: Why not?Past Sheldon: Because no one likes Babylon 5.Past Leonard: I like it.Past Raj: Me, too.Past Howard: So do I.Past Leonard: There you go– three against one.Past Sheldon: They don’t get a vote. It’s one against one. And according to the roommate agreement, all ties will be settled by me.Past Leonard: But I said no to that.Past Sheldon: And I said yes. And I settle all ties. Change seats with me.Past Howard: Why?Past Sheldon: There’s a draft on my neck over here.Past Howard: So, I get the draft?Past Sheldon: You’re protected by your turtleneck.Past Howard: Fine. And it’s a dickey.Past Sheldon: Hmm, I’m still not comfortable. Of course. There’s too many people here.Past Leonard: We can fix that. Let’s leave.Past Howard: Yeah, we can go over to my place.Past Sheldon: Wait. Let me get my jacket.Past Howard: You’re not going with us.Past Sheldon: Why not?Past Raj: You’re the guy we’re trying to get away from.Past Sheldon: Oh. Well, in that case, I don’t need my jacket. And for the record, the correct syntax is I’m the guy from whom you’re trying to get away. Oh, yes, this is definitely going to be my spot.(End of flashback.)Penny: Okay, how do you know he said that? You left the room.Leonard: Hey, do you want me to finish working on your man feet or not?Penny: Fine. Go ahead.(Flashback to Howard’s bedroom.)Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, are you having a playdate?Past Howard: I don’t have playdates! I have colleagues!Mrs Wolowitz: Do their parents know they’re here?Past Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they’ll hear you!Past Leonard: That your dad?Past Howard: She grows any more hair on her face, yes.Past Leonard: Oh, man. Is that a two-stage rocket?Past Howard: Three. I designed the engine myself.Past Raj: Cool. Can it break Mach 1?Past Howard: Oh, probably, if I could get my hands on that new fuel the government’s been working on. Past Leonard: Oh, this just might be your lucky day.Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, what happened to the Oreos I left on the counter?!Past Howard: I haven’t seen your Oreos! Just take your bath without them!(End of flashback.)Penny: So, why was it his lucky day?Leonard: Well, it turns out I had a little rocket fuel in the apartment.Penny: What were you doing with rocket fuel in your apartment?Leonard: Mm, Joyce Kim was kind of curious about what I did for a living, and I was going to kind of show it to her. It’s not important. The point is, the guys and I went back to the ap artment.Penny: Are we ever going to get to the elevator?Leonard: Yeah, we’re really close. Uh, uh, we’re at the apartment.(Flashback.)Past Leonard: The trick is to mix it into Tovex in order to create a combustible gel that will generate over 8,000 kilonewtons of thrust.Past Howard: Nice.Past Raj: Cool.Past Sheldon: Won’t work.Past Leonard: Excuse me, but I’ve been working on this a long time. Trust me, it’ll work.Past Sheldon: You don’t see your mistake, do you?Past Leonard: There’s no mistake.Past Sheldon: This is for a full-scale rocket, not a model.Past Leonard: Well, I’ve adjusted the formula.Past Sheldon: Not correctly.Past Leonard: Okay, I’ve had it with you. You might be an expert on theoretical physics and science-fiction programs and where to sit on a freaking couch, but this is applied physics. And when it comes to applied physic… uh-oh.Past Howard: What’s happening?Past Leonard: A bad thing. A very bad thing. Get the door. Get the door! Get the door! Get the door! Get the door!Past Howard: You’re waiting for the elevator?Past Leonard: Oh. Right.Past Raj: Wait. It’s here.Past Sheldon: Give me that. (Takes the rocket fuel. Puts it in elevator. Presses button and jumps out.) Past Leonard: What’d you do that for? I had plenty of t ime. (Elevator explodes.)Past Sheldon: You’re welcome.(End of flashback.)Leonard: Not only did Sheldon save my life, he didn’t rat me out to the landlord. Or the police. Or Homeland Security.Penny: Okay, so, basically, you’re the reason I have to wal k up and down three flights of stairs every day? Leonard: So I did something stupid. I’m sure you did stupid things when you were younger. What were you doing seven years ago?Penny: Excuse me, I was in high school. Studying, keeping my nose clean, doing volunteer work for the community.(Flashback. Penny is in her bedroom, sitting on the bed with a guy, looking at a pregnancy tester.)Past Penny: Not pregnant. Yes!Scene: The apartment.Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu, you are my favourite Linux-based operating system.Leonard: Hey.Sheldon: Hello. Why do I smell methacrylate?Leonard: Oh, uh, clear nail polish. I had a mani-pedi. Men can get those. Anyway, I may owe you an apology.Sheldon: There’s doubt?Leonard: I did agree to the thermostat setting, and I shoul dn’t have tried to change it.Sheldon: That’s not an apology, simply an acknowledgement that I was right.Leonard: Okay, I’m sorry.Sheldon: There you go.Leonard: So, we’re good?Sheldon: Good what?Leonard: Never mind. Okay if I watch some TV?Sheldon: Go ahead.Television voice: Up next Babylon 5.Scene: Penny’s apartment.Leonard(voice off): You’re not even watching!Sheldon(voice off): I can hear it!Leonard(voice off): Oh, so the dialogue offends you?Sheldon(voice off): I would hardly call that dialogue!Leonard(voice off): You’re insane, you know that?!Sheldon(voice off): Don’t make me turn that flag upside down, ’cause you know I’ll do it!。

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佩妮手上只能有巫师毒药 Penny can only be holding necroonly effective against wraiths and day-walkers, 但两个都已经出完了 And there are no more of either left to be drawn. 剩下未出的卡是 The cards remaining in the undrawn stack are: 四张火焰一张巨人两张食人怪和冥神宝石 Four fire weapons,a troll,two ogres and the jewel of osiris. 瞧被破坏了吧 See? Ruined. 谢尔顿太厉害了 Sheldon,that is incredible. 对你来说当然是厉害 From your vantage point,it certainly must seem so. 谢尔顿有图像式记忆的能力 Sheldon has kind of a photographic memory. "图像式"用词不当 "photographic" is a misnomer. 应该是高清图像式记忆我说过好几遍了 I have an eidetic memory,as I've told you many times. 最近一次是去年 5 月 7 日 Most recently last year during lunch 中午午餐期间 On the afternoon of may seventh. 你吃了火鸡还抱怨太干了 You had turkey and complained it was dry. 看来游戏结束了 Well,I guess game'over. 真的太好了 Really? Oh,great. 我是说"哦" I mean,aw. -我得走了 -为什么 - Okay,I gotta go. - Why? 就因为上次没走 Because the last me I didn't go, 我才会玩"卡神秘勇士" I ended up playing "mystic warlords of ka." 不是"卡" 是"卡亚" Not "ka. Ka-ah." 拜丫儿 Buh-eye.
你当时不在小食店 You had left the refreshment stand 你去解决习惯性提前出现的尿急了 In order to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination. 就因为这个 Oh,so that's how it works? 就因为我的膀胱小我就不能有漂亮女友了 I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend? 对拉杰就因为这个 Yeah,Raj. That's how it works. 靠 Damn. 能给我张纸巾吗 Can I have a napkin? 抱歉不行 I'm sorry,no. 你有好几张呢 But you have whole bunch of 'em. 对我现在用的是四张纸巾体系 Yes,I've moved to a four-napkin system. 分别对应腿手脸和个人紧急情况 Lap,hands,face and personal emergency. 你需要的话明天开始 If you like,starting tomorrow, 我会加一张客用纸巾 I'll add a guest napkin, 但我今天实在无能为力 But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you today. 好运那是擦脸纸巾 Good luck. That's the face napkin. 你跟佩妮说了吗 So,have you talked to Penny yet? 还没有 No,I haven't. 为什么 Why not? 因为我很忙 Because I've been busy, 因为我不知道怎么跟她提 Because I haven't figured out a way to bring it up, 最主要的是 "特别强调这点" And mostly-- and I can't stress how key this is-因为我不想提 Because I don't want to.
莱纳德约定就是约定 Leonard,pact is a pact. 你必须让佩妮给我找个伴 You have to get Penny to fix me up. 事情没那么简单 It's not that simple. 你要我怎么说 What am I supposed to say? 佩妮你有没有 "Penny,do you have any friend 不想再联系的朋友 You'd like to never hear from again?" 拜托我那么聪明 Come on,I'm smart, 又有份好工作而且我的体脂肪率只有 3% I have good job and I have only three percent body fat. 真的 It's true. 我在沙滩上看过 I've seen him at the beach. 他就像个人形鸡翅 He's like a human chicken wing. 莱纳德拜托 Leonard,come on. 好吧我会问她有没有适合你的朋友 Fine. I'll ask if she has a friend for you. 要漂亮的哦 Hot friend. -行 -还要高挑的 - Right. - And tall. 我希望我们的孩子能在 20 岁前 I want our kids to be able to Ride Space Mountain 玩飞越太空山[迪士尼乐园] Before they're 20. 我尽力而为 I'll see what I can do. 谢尔顿猜我今天听到什么 Hey,Sheldon,guess what I heard today? 我能想象你今天听了很多东西 I'd imagine you heard many number of things today. 你来上班肯定会听到 "你好拉杰" When you arrived at work you undoubtedly heard,"hello,Raj. 过得如何拉杰 "How are you,Raj?"
考虑到你今天穿了件新的羊毛背心会听到"新背心啊" Given that you're wearing a new sweater-vest, 也有可能虽然可能性很小听到"羊毛背心很漂亮" And possibly,though far less likely,"nice sweater-vest." 为什么不干脆让我告诉你今天听到了什么 Why don't I just tell you what I heard today. 因为这可能节约我们的时间 That would probably save us some time. 星期六晚上在漫画书店 Saturday night at the comic book store, 那里将举办一个"卡亚神秘勇士"锦标赛 They're having a "Mystic Warlords of Ka-Ah" tournament. 第一名有 500 美金 First prize is $500. 如果我们组队肯定无敌了 If we team up,we'd be unstoppable. 对不起拉杰对于没有挑战性的游戏 I'm sorry,Raj,but I have no interest 我完全不感兴趣 In playing a game in which I find no challenge. 那钱呢 What about the money? 我有钱啊 I have money. 这钱不一样 This is other money. 那这跟我自己拥有的钱有什么区别 How does it differ from the money I have? 我要拿一半啊 Half of it will be mine. 你需要钱买一件不那么惹人嫌的羊毛背心吗 Do you need it to buy a less disturbing sweater-vest? 莱纳德救救我吧 Leonard,help. 开什么玩笑 Are you kidding? 我甚至不能说服他给我一张狗日的餐巾纸 I couldn't even talk him into giving one of his freakin' napkins. 天呐你真是个天才 Wow,you really are a genius. 不算吧 Not really. 我其实是在网上搜到的这些花式 I googled how to do that.
好的拉杰出了幽灵军团卡 All right,Raj has played his phantom warlord card,
我就出绞杀蔓藤帮他 And I am going to back him up with my strangling vines. 绞死你笨蛋 Choke on that,sucka. 那我就用红宝石剑砍断你的蔓藤 Okay,well,then I'll just cut your vines with my ruby sword. 没错我干的我砍了 That's right,I did it. I cut 'em. 我想问个问题 I have a question. 军团能吃巨人巨人能吃精灵 Warlord beats troll,troll beats elf, 精灵能吃水妖 Elf beats water sprite, 基本上什么都能吃魔法小兔 And basically everything beats enchanted bunny. 除非你有胡萝卜粉 Unless you have the carrot powder. 我还想问一个问题 Okay,I've got another question. 这有什么好玩的 When does this get fun? 我们是要讨论 Are we going to talk 还是继续玩"卡亚神秘勇士" Or are we going to play "mystic warriors of ka-ah"? 出毒药卡 Just play a potion card. 哪张 Which one? 哪张都一样 It doesn't matter. 你不可能赢了 You can't possibly win. 谢尔顿别破坏游戏 Sheldon,don't ruin the game. 他怎么可能破坏游戏 How could he ruin the game? 根据已出的卡推算 Given the cards that have already been played,

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