英汉对照-黄西(Joe-Wong)脱口秀演讲--看美式幽默和美国人的包容
黄西的演讲
2010年3月17日，黄西Joe Wong受邀在美国记者年会晚宴上表演脱口秀，一个土生土长的中国人如何在美国的记者年会上，用幽默征服了全场美国人，并当面调侃美国副总统约瑟夫·拜登(Joseph Robinette "Joe" Biden, Jr)，而他用这种幽默也带给我们思考，中国和美国到底差在哪里?中国又将怎么进步?!My name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as “Who?” which is actually my mother’s ma iden name, and the answer to my credit card security question.我叫黄西，但对于大多数人来说，我叫“Who”（HU），这实际上是我妈妈的娘家姓，也是我信用卡密保问题的答案。
（开场先是自嘲下自己默默无闻不为所知，然后利用中英文谐音，再联系到信用卡密码保护，因为网上注册时选择用于取回密码的验证问题里，最常见的就是妈妈的姓氏是什么。
）Joking aside, I want to reassure you that I am invited here tonight.抛开玩笑，我想重申今晚我的确是受邀而来的。
（因为前一阵子白宫举行一个活动，美国一对夫妻混过白宫层层保安，装作是白宫邀请的贵宾，还跟这些政客合影留念并发到网上，其中就有坐在边上的副总统Joe Biden，被曝光后，在美国引起很大争议，白宫的安保问题被质疑。
）I grew up in China. Who didn’t?我在中国长大，谁不是呢？（装作无知，认为每个人都是中国人，暗讽了一些美国人的自大，以为世界就是美国。
）Most of my childhood memories are ruined by my childhood. When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I worked at a rice paddy next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. That’s where I learned that light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as a flying rock.我童年的大部分记忆都被童年毁了。
黄西美国记者年会上的脱口秀演讲稿.docx
黄西美国记者年会上的脱口秀演讲稿Goodevening, everyone. My nameis Joe Wong. But to most people, I amknownand the answer as "Who?" "Hu" is actually my mother's maiden name, tomy credit card security question.各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。
但是对很多人来说，听到我的名字，会问“谁” ?Who（同音“ Hu”）恰恰是我妈的娘家姓，也是我信用卡安全问题的答案。
But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight.但是玩笑归玩笑，我想让大家放心我今晚的确是受到邀请来的。
（这里是隐指Salah 夫妇闯入白宫欢迎晚宴的新闻）I grew up in China. Who wouldn't?我在中国长大。
谁不是呢？（这是用自己的自大讽刺美国人的自大）As my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood.WhenI was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I have to work at a ricepaddy, right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that iswhere I learned that light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as aflying rock.而我童年的所有记忆都被我的童年给毁了。
黄西在2010全美电台电视记者协会年会晚宴上的演说全文
We have many distinguished journalists here tonight, whom I consider as my peers. (laughter) because I used to write for campus newspaper. (laughter) I think journalism is the last refugee for puns. Only on the newspaper can you say things like "I was born in the year of horse and that is why I'm a naysayer" (laughter) my point exactly.
黄西在美国白宫记者年会上的脱口秀整理稿
各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。但是对很多人来说，听到我的名字，会问“谁”?Who（同音“Hu”）恰恰是我妈的娘家姓，也是我信用卡安全问题的答案。
But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight.
And I was driving that a used car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "If you don't speak English, go home!" And I didn't notice it for two years.
“什么是第二修正案？”我就想：“呃，莫非就是我们便利店遭到抢劫的原因？”（第二修正案保障了人民的持枪权利）
What is Roe vs Wade? We were like, "Ahh& , two ways of coming to the Unite States?"
我在男人健康杂志里看到，奥巴马总统每周有两次有氧锻炼，四次举重锻炼。你们看，我根本不需要锻炼，因为我有健康保险。（这里说医保体系给人慵懒意识）
I live inMassachusettsnow, where we had universal healthcare then we elected Scott Brown. Talk about mixed messages! I think there was a movie about him. It's called "Kill Bill"
从博士到脱口秀明星——黄西的美国梦
从博士到脱口秀明星——黄西的美国梦When a young man from a small village in China studies hard and bec omes a doctor of biochemistry in the US it’s the American dream.一位来自中国小山村的年轻人通过刻苦学习，后留美成为生物化学博士。
这成就了一个美国梦。
But for a Chinese migrant with a heavy accent to become a stand-up comedian in the US it’s more like a fantasy.但要是一位有着浓重地方口音的华裔移民在美国摇身一变成了单口相声演员，这听上去更像是一场白日梦。
Joe Wong, apparently, has done both. After achieving success as a stand-up comedian in the US for the past two years, the 41-year-old has returned to China to publicize his book The Tao of Humor: An Autobiography by Joe Wong.显然，黄西两者都做到了。
在前两年以单口相声演员的身份在美国大获成功之后，41岁的黄西回到中国宣传个人自传——《黄瓜的黄，西瓜的西》。
“The key, or the symbol to success is doing the thing you like, or finding an interest in your work,”Wong said.黄西说，“成功的关键或标志是做你喜欢做的事，或是从工作中找到兴趣所在。
”Wong didn’t realize his love for stand-up comedy until 2002, when his friends took him to a comedy club in Boston.黄西之前一直没有意识到自己对单口相声秀的这份热爱，直到2002年的某天，朋友们将他带到一家位于波士顿的喜剧俱乐部。
英语阅读：老外笑我听不懂,我笑老外笑点低
两分钟做个小测试，看看你的英语水平/test/kuaisu.aspx?tid=16-73675-0It is beyond awkward when everyone around you bursts out laughing at a joke that you do not find funny, especially if it’s a joke told in a foreign language.世间最尴尬的事莫过于周围的人都被段子（笑话）逗得哄堂大笑，只有你还没发现笑点。
如果这段子是用外语讲的，那么尴尬值增加一万点。
While Chinese students find it easy to adapt to a foreign lifestyle, socializing with locals is much harder, according to a recent study. Researchers looked at how well Chinese students integrated into communities across the world. Of all the activities they struggled with, understanding jokes was considered the toughest.最近一项研究发现，中国学生很容易适应国外的生活方式，但和老外打交道就没那么简单了。
研究者对中国留学生如何融入世界各地群体进行了分析。
在留学生面对的所有问题中，理解笑话被认为是最难的。
Most of the time, jokes are funny only for people who share a common cultural background or perceive humor in the same way.多数情况下，笑话只有在文化背景相同或幽默感知方式相近的人中间才有笑果。
黄西2010年美国记者年会演讲(中英)
各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。但是对很多人来说，听到我的名字，会问“谁”?Who（同音“Hu”）恰恰是我妈的娘家姓，也是我信用卡安全问题的答案。
But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight.
但是玩笑归玩笑，我想让大家放心我今晚的确是受到邀请来的。（这里是隐指Salah夫妇闯入白宫欢迎晚宴的新闻）
I grew up in China. Who wouldn't?
我在中国长大。谁不是呢？（这是用自己的自大讽刺美国人的自大）
As my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I have to worked at a rice paddy, right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that is where I learned that light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as a flying rock.
I came to the United States when I was 24, to study at Rice University in Texas. That wasn't a joke, until now.
我24岁的时候来到美国，在Texas的Rice University求学。这不是个笑话，不过现在是了。
英汉对照-黄西(Joe Wong)脱口秀演讲 ,看美式幽默和美国人的包容
从黄西（Joe Wong）脱口秀演讲，看美式幽默和美国人的包容黄西（Joe Wong），曾在中国科学院攻读硕士，后获得德克萨斯州莱斯大学博士学位，全职工作从事科学研究。
美国深夜节目收视率冠军的“大卫赖特曼秀”，2009年4月17日晚上破天荒邀请中国口音极重的黄西(Joe Wong)亮相，以英语讲美式笑话，近六分钟的演出，观众反应热烈。
黄西一炮而红。
美式幽默强调的是是双关语的巧用，前后文包袱的对接，还有对现在问题的嘲讽，joe wang的幽默在于每个段子简短但是需要观众思考并且前后的段子对接起来就了不起了，很连贯。
黄西脱口秀视频精选全集2011-12-08一个来自中国的生化博士，居然能在美国破天荒靠讲笑话脱口秀成为一名笑星，不得不令人佩服！用黄西自己的话说就是“他在美国比中国唯一的好处就是浑身散发着异域的光芒。
”你是笑星黄西的粉丝吗？黄西（Joe Wong）在2010年美国记者年会上的脱口秀视频黄西Joe Wong on the Late Show视频(字幕版黄西“人生大不同”复旦公益演讲视频黄西Joe Wong在美国Ellen Show讲笑话视频2011ZhenPitch-特别嘉宾黄西即兴脱口秀视频黄西Joe Wong 再度登上“Late Show”视频(双语字幕美国的著名脱口秀节目主持人Ellen Degeneres 毕业演讲Joe Wong(黄西)在美国记者年会上的脱口秀(very funny)2010-03-31Good evening everyone, my name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as "Who?" which is actually my mother's maiden name and the answer to my credit card security question.各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。
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从黄西（Joe Wong）脱口秀演讲，看美式幽默和美国人的包容黄西（Joe Wong），曾在中国科学院攻读硕士，后获得德克萨斯州莱斯大学博士学位，全职工作从事科学研究。
美国深夜节目收视率冠军的“大卫赖特曼秀”，2009年4月17日晚上破天荒邀请中国口音极重的黄西(Joe Wong)亮相，以英语讲美式笑话，近六分钟的演出，观众反应热烈。
黄西一炮而红。
美式幽默强调的是是双关语的巧用，前后文包袱的对接，还有对现在问题的嘲讽，joe wang的幽默在于每个段子简短但是需要观众思考并且前后的段子对接起来就了不起了，很连贯。
黄西脱口秀视频精选全集2011-12-08一个来自中国的生化博士，居然能在美国破天荒靠讲笑话脱口秀成为一名笑星，不得不令人佩服！用黄西自己的话说就是“他在美国比中国唯一的好处就是浑身散发着异域的光芒。
”你是笑星黄西的粉丝吗？黄西（Joe Wong）在2010年美国记者年会上的脱口秀视频黄西Joe Wong on the Late Show视频(字幕版黄西“人生大不同”复旦公益演讲视频黄西Joe Wong在美国Ellen Show讲笑话视频2011ZhenPitch-特别嘉宾黄西即兴脱口秀视频黄西Joe Wong 再度登上“Late Show”视频(双语字幕美国的著名脱口秀节目主持人Ellen Degeneres 毕业演讲Joe Wong(黄西)在美国记者年会上的脱口秀(very funny)2010-03-31Good evening everyone, my name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as "Who?" which is actually my mother's maiden name and the answer to my credit card security question.各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。
但是对你们中的很多人来说，听到我的名字，你们会问“谁啊？”（注意看他说这句话时侯的表情），who（同音“胡”）恰恰是我妈妈出嫁前的姓，这也是我信用卡密码问题的答案。
（和很多网站注册一样，美国的信用卡也会设置密码问题，比如“你妈妈姓什么”，“你家小狗叫什么”）But joking aside I just want to reassure everybody that I AM invited here tonight.但是玩笑归玩笑，我想要提醒大家我的确是受到邀请而来的（他重读了I am的am）（这里是讽刺Salah的夫妇闯入白宫晚宴的新闻，大家可以搜索Michaele and Tareq Salahi）I grew up in China. Who didn't? And my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I had to work in a rice paddy right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that was when I learned light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as a flying rock. My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would cheer me up with jokes. But he doesn't do it right. When I was seven one day he said to me, "Hey, son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy?" So five minutes later I said"why?" He said because I said so!我从小在中国长大。
谁不是呢？（这是讽刺美国人的自大，以为世界只有一个美国）而我童年的所有记忆都被我的童年给毁了。
（这句话可能是和后面的炸药玩笑有关）读小学的时侯，作为课程的一部分，我不得不去一个稻田里劳动，这稻田的旁边就是一个采石场，在那里他们用炸药来炸开石头。
也就是在那个时侯，我知道了光的传播速度要比声音快，声音的速度就和石头飞的速度差不多慢。
我爸爸是的脾气很暴躁，但是有些时侯他会用笑话来鼓励我。
可是他的表达方式有问题。
当我还是七岁的时侯，有一天他对我说，“嘿，儿子，为什么豆腐比社会主义计划经济要好？”我想了五分钟，然后问他“为什么呢？”，他说“因为我说好就是好！”（这段笑点在：豆腐，计划经济，极端的父权。
豆腐和经济放在一起本来就没有可比性，就好像这种“我说了算”的父权也很不可理喻，让人又好气又好笑）I came to the United States in, when I was twenty four to study at Rice University in Texas. That wasn't a joke, until now.我24岁的时侯来到美国，在Texas的Rice University求学。
（下面的观众在笑。
）我不是在讲笑话，不过现在是了。
And I was driving this used car that had a lot of bump stickers that were impossible to peel off. One of them said "If you don't speak English, go home". And I didn't know this for two years.我当时开了辆二手车，保险杠上贴了好多贴纸（就类似于我们贴的“注意有熊出没”那种），那些贴纸贴的很牢，根本没可能撕下来。
其中一张写着“如果你不会说英文，那就回家去”。
而我连着两年都没看懂这句话。
And like many other immigrants, we all want our son to the become the president of this country and we are trying to make him bilingual, you know, Chinese at home, English in the public, which is really tough to do because many times I have to say to him in public, "hey, listen, if you don't speak English, go home." And he would say to me, "hey dad, why do I have to learn two languages?" I said，"son, once you become the president of the United State, you are gonna have to sign the legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese."和很多其他的移民一样，我们都希望自己的儿子能成为这个国家的总统，于是我们努力让他们说两种语言，在家说中文，在外说英文，真的操作起来其实挺困难，很多时侯我不得不对他说“嘿，听着，如果你不说英文，就给我回家去。
”（这段对应了他上文说的汽车贴纸的笑话）我儿子总是会问我“爸爸，为什么我一定要说两种语言呢？”我告诉他：“儿子，一旦有一天你成为了美国总统，你就必须要用英文来签署立法议案，然后用中文跟债主们讨论债务问题。
”（这段经地主大人提醒：讲到用中文讨论债务时，你看底下美国人反应并不剧烈，只有部分人狂笑，因为美国人压根儿不知道，中国是他们的大债主。
）When I graduated from Rice, I decided to stay in the United States because in China, I can't do the thing I do best here, being ethnic. And in order for me to become a US citizen, I had to take these American history lessons, where they ask us questions like "Who is Benjamin Franklin?" I was like "Ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?" "What is the second amendment?" I was like "Ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?" "What is Roe versus Wade?" I was like "Ah, two ways of coming to the United States?" Later on, I read so much about Americanhistory that I started to harbor white guilt.从Rice毕业后，我决定留在美国，因为在中国，我做不到我在这里做的最好的事情--成为一名外来民族。
而为了让我自己成为一名美国公民，我必须学习美国的历史，于是就有被问到诸如“谁是Benjamin Franklin?”我只能：“啊！这莫非就是我们便利店遭抢劫的原因？”（Benjamin Franklin的头像被印在百元美钞上。
）“什么是第二修正案？”我只能：“啊！这莫非就是我们便利店遭抢劫的原因？”（第二修正案允许合法拥有枪支）“Roe vs. Wade是什么？”“啊！来到美国的两种途径？”（Roe vs.Wade是一个著名的堕胎官司，最高法院因此判定堕胎合法化。