英语笑话短文【有关初一英语小笑话短文】

英语笑话短文【有关初一英语小笑话短文】
英语笑话短文【有关初一英语小笑话短文】

英语笑话短文【有关初一英语小笑话短文】各位读友大家好,此文档由网络收集而来,欢迎您下载,谢谢

笑话由于其滑稽可笑的特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。经常看幽默笑话,人们耳濡目染也会成为其中一员的,大家的生活会处处充满幽默。小编分享有关初一英语小笑话短文,希望可以帮助大家!

有关初一英语小笑话短文:抄袭

A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell aboutthe time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. “This isn’tyour work.” he said. “Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia. “You cann’tprove that!” the student sputtered. My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in redwas: “Also see article on

communism.”

我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史,他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论文。他把那个学生叫到了办公室。“这不是你写的,”他说,“有人帮你从百科全书上原封不动地打印了下来。” “你没有证据。”那学生气急败坏地说。我朋友笑了,他把论文拿给他看。用红笔圈出来的是:“也可参阅共产主义一文。”有关初一英语小笑话短文:他的得数只比正确答案多二

Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to findgood players, but they weren’t always smart enought to be accepted by the college. One daythe coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that thestudent be allowed to enter without an examination. “Well,” the dean said after somepersuasion, “I’d better ask him a few questions first.” Then he turned to the

student andasked him some very easy questions, but the student didn’t know any of the answers. At lastthe dean said, “Well, what’s five times seven?” The student thought for a long time and thenanswered, “Thirty-six.” The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, butthe coach said earnestly, “Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only w rong by two.”

杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练,他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行,院方不愿录取。有一天,教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长,希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说:“那我最好先问问他几个问题。” 然后他转向学生,问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。最后院长说:“那么,五乘七得多少?” 学生想了很久,然后回答说:“三十六。” 院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说,“噢,录取他吧,先生。他的答案只比正确答案

多二。”有关初一英语小笑话短文:实际年龄

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get hisattention. “Johnny,” she said, “If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents adozen, how old am I? “Thirty-four,” Johnny answered unhesitatingly. The teacher replied “Well,that’s not far from my actual age. Tell me...how did you guess?” “Oh, there’s nothing to it,”Johnny said. “My big sister is seventeen and she’s only half-crazy.”

老师注意到约翰尼走神很久了,她决定吸引他的注意力。“约翰尼,”她说,“如果地球的直径是25,000英哩,鸡蛋每打买60美分,那么我多大?” “三十四,”约翰尼毫不犹豫地回答。老师答道,“嗯,那与我的实际年龄差不多。告诉我...你是怎么猜到的?” “噢,这没什么。”约翰尼说,“我的大姐是17岁,而她有一半疯狂。”有关初一英语小笑话短

文:我没有看到它

Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is onlyone piece left. Can you explain that?

母亲:约翰尼,今天早上我在食品橱里放了两块蛋糕,现在只剩下一块了,你说是怎么回事?

Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.

约翰尼:哦,我想是因为里面太黑,我没有看见另一块。

各位读友大家好,此文档由网络收集而来,欢迎您下载,谢谢

幽默小笑话大全

幽默小笑话大全 篇一:新笑话大全爆笑笑死人不偿命 笑话爆笑笑死不偿命 一个说普通话不标准的县长到乡下去开会笑死我了 “兔子们(同志们), 虾米们(乡民们), 猪尾巴(注意吧)! 不要酱瓜(不要讲话), 咸菜太贵啦(现在开会啦)”。 县长讲完以后,主持人说:“咸菜请香肠酱瓜(现在请乡长讲话)!”。乡长说:“兔子们(同志们), 今天的饭狗吃了(今天的饭够吃了), 大家都是大王八(大家都使大碗吧)! 不要酱瓜(不要讲话), 我捡个狗屎给你们舔舔(我讲个故事给你们听听) 女:我开好了房间,等你! 男:别开玩笑了。 女:真的,都说你技术好,我想试试真假。 男:再这样我就生气了。女:真的,我不骗你。他们都发誓了,说你技术真的很好。

男:别听他们乱说。 女:我平时对你怎么样?你忍心看我一个人难受? 男:别这样,会让我很为难。女:你今天如果不来,我就一直在房 间等你。 男:。。。 女:555 男:那好吧,你先等我,我在家里,先洗个澡,换身衣服吧。半个小时后 男:你在哪里开房?我过来了! 女:欢乐斗地主,电信一区,11房间,20桌。 男:滚!、害得我还跟老婆吵了架出来! 上帝都被中国人搞崩溃了1、 天堂的门坏了,上帝要招标重修。 印度人说:3000弄好,理由是材料费1000,人工费1000,我自己赚1000。 德国人说:要6000,材料费2000,人工2000,自己赚2000。中国人淡定地说:这个要9000,3000给你,3000我的,剩下3000给那个印度人干。 上帝拍案:中国人中标! 2、 后来地狱的门也坏了,阎王吸取了上帝的教训,制定控制价3000。德国人看了一眼,走了。

英语小笑话(带翻译)).

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 2,Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩:我可以给你买杯饮料吗? 女孩:你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人:哦, 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 4. 反正我太太明天会来换的 My Wife Will Exchange Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasper ated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

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冷笑话大全 小白兔笑话系列 16个全

冷笑话大全小白兔笑话系列 16个全 来源:笑话大全 https://www.360docs.net/doc/8114713046.html, 小白兔系列冷笑话 1 小白兔蹦蹦跳跳到面包房,问:“老板,你们有没有一百个小面包啊?” 老板:“啊,真抱歉,没有那么多” “这样啊。。。”小白兔垂头丧气地走了。 第二天,小白兔蹦蹦跳跳到面包房,“老板,有没有一百个小面包啊?” 老板:“对不起,还是没有啊” “这样啊。。。”小白兔又垂头丧气地走了。 第三天,小白兔蹦蹦跳跳到面包房,“老板,有没有一百个小面包啊?” 老板高兴的说:“有了,有了,今天我们有一百个小面包了!!” 小白兔掏出钱:“太好了,我买两个!” 2 有一只小白兔快乐地奔跑在森林中, 在路上它碰到一只正在卷大麻的长颈鹿, 小白兔对长颈鹿说: "长颈鹿长颈鹿,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢? 看看这片森林多么美好,让我们一起 在大自然中奔跑吧!" 长颈鹿看看大麻烟,看看小白兔,于是把 大麻烟向身后一扔, 跟着小白兔在森林中奔跑. 后来它们遇到一只正在准备吸古柯碱的大象, 小白兔对大象说: "大象大象,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢? 看看这片森林多么美好,让我 们一起在大自然中奔跑吧!" 大象看看古柯碱,看看小白兔,于 是把古柯碱向身后一扔, 跟着小白兔和长颈鹿在森林中奔跑. 后来它们遇到一只正在准备打海洛因的狮子, 小白兔对狮子说: "狮子狮子,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢? 看看这片森林多么美好,让我们一起在大自然中奔跑吧!" 狮子看看针筒,看看小 白兔,于是把针筒向身后一扔, 冲过去把小白兔狠揍了一顿. 大象和长颈鹿吓得直发抖:"你为什么要打小白兔呢? 它这么好心,

关心我们的健康又叫我们接近大自然." 狮子生气地说:"这个混蛋兔子,每次嗑了摇头丸就拉着我像白痴一样在森林里乱跑." 3第一天,小白兔去河边钓鱼,什么也没钓到,回家了。 第二天,小白兔又去河边钓鱼,还是什么也没钓到,回家了。第三天,小白兔刚到河边,一条大鱼从河里跳出来,冲着小白兔大叫:你他妈的要是再敢用胡箩卜当鱼饵,我就扁死你! 4为了测试美国, 香港, 中国大陆三地警察的实力, 联合国将三只兔子放在三个森林中, 看三地警察谁先找出兔子. 第一个测试的是美国警察, 他们先花整整半天时间开会制定作战计划, 严格分工, 然后派特种部队快速进入森林进行地毯式搜索, 结果因为开会耽搁了时间, 兔子跑了, 任务失败! 然后轮到香港警察, 他们派了一百多号人和几十辆警车在森林外一字排开, 由带头人用喇叭喊话:"兔子,兔子,你已经被包围了, 快出来投降......" 半天过去了, 没动静. 飞虎队进入森林, 搜索一遍, 没结果, 任务失败! 最后是中国大陆警察, 只有四个, 先打了一天麻将, 黄昏时一人拿一警棍进入森林,没五分钟, 听到森林里传来一阵动物的惨叫, 中国警察一人抽着一根烟有说有笑的出来, 后面拖着一只鼻青脸肿的熊, 熊奄奄一息的说到:"不要再打了, 我就是兔子......." 5小白兔在森林里散步,遇到大灰狼迎面走过来,上来“啪啪”给了小白兔两个大耳贴子,说“我让你不戴帽子”。小白兔很委屈的撤了。第二天,她戴着帽子蹦蹦跳跳的走出家门,又遇到大灰狼,他走上来“啪啪”又给了小白兔两个大嘴巴,说“我让你戴帽子。” 兔兔郁闷了。思量了许久,最终决定去找森林之王老虎投诉。说明了情况后,老虎说“好了,我知道了,这件事我会处理的,要相信组织哦”。当天,老虎就找来自己的哥们儿大灰狼。“你这样做不妥啊,让老子我很难办嘛。”说罢抹了抹桌上飘落的烟灰:“你看这样行不行哈?你可以说,

初中英语小笑话三分钟

初中英语小笑话三分钟 出差订酒店就用趣出差,单单有返现,关注微信小程序或下载APP立即领取100元返现红包 自古以来,我们中国人就有幽默的传统,而笑话作为一种流传最广的幽默形式,一直为人们喜爱。下面是我带来的初中英语小笑话,欢迎阅读! 初中英语小笑话篇一 Make a Wish 许个愿吧! Every morning on his way to work, a business man passed a house where he saw a woman beating her looy on the head with a loaf of bread. 每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都会经过一户人家,他总是看见一个女人用一条面包打她儿子的头部。 But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake. 但今天却比较特别,他发现她正用一块巧克力蛋糕打他的头。 Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answere .

他忍不住好奇,便按了那户人家的门铃。女人听了铃声,出来开门。 "Madam, I couldn't help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread. . . " “这位太太,每天经过这里我都忍不住会注意到你用一条面包打你儿子……” "That's true ." "那倒是不假……" "And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake. ', "可是今天我却看见你用一块巧克力蛋糕打他。" “Well, today's his birthday. ” “今天是他生日嘛。” 初中英语小笑话篇二 A Remarkable Talent 一位了不起的天才 "Did you know I could tell time by the piano?" asked one friend of another.

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译 篇一:英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路。而且,他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告,问道:"你会说多少英文?" 被告抬起头,说:"把你的钱包给我!" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果,为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字,而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说,女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍,因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问:"什么?" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆,你弟弟怎么了?" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿,妈妈," 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么?" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时,他也哭了。"

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sotheydecidedtosendthecentipede;andthegrasshopperex plainedhowtogettothenearestliquorstore. Anhourorsopassedandstillthecentipedehadn'treturned, sothesnailandthegrasshopperdecidedtogolookforhim. Theygotasfarasthethefrontdoorandfoundthecentipedesi ttingthereputtingonhisshoes. submittedbyrodneyA.hoiseth-rothcorporation 简单易懂英语笑话篇2 Thisjokeneverfailstogetalaugh.

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1 I Don?t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?” “不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten?” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。

“10块?”妈妈问。 “是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It?s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I?m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数

有关英语笑话对话带翻译阅读

有关英语笑话对话带翻译阅读 "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" Mother asked.“昨天我给你的钱,你干什么了?妈妈问。 "1 gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.“我给了一个可怜的老太太,他回答说。 "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"“你真是个好孩子,妈妈骄傲地说,“再给你两分钱,可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?"She is the one who sells the candy."“她就是那个卖糖果的老太太呀。 有关英语笑话对话带翻译篇2孩子的视角On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today'?"在上学第一天回家的路上,父亲问儿子,“你今天在学校做了什么?The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".小男孩耸耸肩说:“没什么。 Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"为了把儿了引到谈话中来,父亲继续着话题,说道:“那么,你学习了任何数字、字母或者也许什么特定的颜色吗7The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"困惑的孩子看着父亲说:“爸爸,难道你是一个小男孩的时候没有上过学吗?

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