简单英语小笑话
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
My little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspapers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。
”
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。
”
Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试
舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？
母亲：唉，糟透了。
可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。
嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
1.He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
英语笑话简短爆笑
英语笑话简短爆笑
1. Why is the doctor so angry? （为什么医生那么生气？）Because he has no patience.（因为他没有耐心呀。
）
笑点：耐心=patience，病人（复数形式）=patients，两个词读音相似，一语双关。
2. What is the longest word in the English language?（英语里最长的单词是？）Smiles. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.（Smiles，因为它的首尾字母之间隔了一英里那么长。
）笑点：翻译时需要保留smiles，因为中文不分单复数，这里规避了字面意义上的最长，而是利用了单词mile 的含义。
3. What do you call a deer with no eyes?（没有眼睛的鹿叫什么？）No idea.（不知道。
）
笑点：deer 和idea 读音相似，这里是谐音梗。
4. Why don't scientists trust atoms?（为什么科学家不相信原子？）Because they make up everything.（因为它们构成了一切。
）笑点：make up 有化妆、编造、组成等意思，这里取了组成的意思。
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?（当
雪人跟吸血鬼杂交，会得到什么？）Frostbite.（冻疮。
）笑点：frostbite 有冻伤、冻疮的意思，同时它跟frost（霜）和bite （咬）两个词有关，这里是双关梗。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话四中，“home”既可以指家，也可以指“归宿”，所以员工中奖后“去家里了”也可以理解为“找到了自己的归宿”。这个笑话利用了“home”这个词的双重含义，变相映射了中奖后员工的行为。
Because it had too many problems.
为什么数o you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
你怎么称呼一个没有牙齿的熊？
果冻熊。
笑话四：What did the employee do after winning the lottery?
笑话五中，“held up”一词既可以指阻碍、延误，也可以指抢劫。所以这个笑话的双关在于通过皮带的“支撑”和“阻碍”之间的联系，制造了一种幽默效果。
总结来说，这几个笑话利用了英语的语言特点，通过双关的方式，让人在听到笑话的瞬间产生一种意想不到的幽默感。这也正是英语笑话的魅力所在，通过语言的巧妙运用，创造出了一种诙谐的氛围，让人忍俊不禁。希望大家在学习英语的同时，多多接触英语笑话，感受英语语言的魅力。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话一：Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
老师：你爸爸有没有帮你做功课？
学生：没有，是他自己全部做的。
笑话二：Why was the math book sad?
笑话一中，学生回答“他自己全部做的”是指他的父亲没有帮助他，但也可以理解为“他”指的是学生的父亲，他自己做了所有的功课。这是一个双关的笑话，利用了英语中的语言特点，呈现了一种幽默的效果。
十个简短的英语小笑话
十个简短的英语小笑话笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
小编精心收集了十个简短的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!十个简短的英语小笑话篇1The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。
”十个简短的英语小笑话篇2The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。
英语小笑话6篇
英语小笑话6篇店铺为大家整理的一些英语小笑话，希望我们的笑话栏目能够给你的生活带来一丝欢笑。
英语小笑话一：What are the Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。
我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。
我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。
你能答应我吗?噢，当然，奶奶。
女孩说：是哪两个词?英语小笑话二：奇猜异想Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。
英语搞笑笑话12篇
英语搞笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：两颗番茄he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”英语搞笑笑话：相同的职责The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."相同的职责一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵，勤务兵也退休在家。
英语幽默小笑话100个
英语幽默小笑话100个笑话是一种能够带给人快乐，平添生活乐趣的文凭形式，以其机智、幽默、搞笑的特点，深受人们喜爱。
英语幽默小笑话就是一种给人带来快乐的黑色幽默渐层，也是美国人的一大特色文化。
以下是100个英语幽默小笑话：1、A: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?B: Dam!2、Q: What did the policeman say to his belly?A: Freeze!3、Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left it.4、Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, and I hang around.5、Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?A: He wanted to improve his bite.6、Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?A: Dam!7、Q: What did the tree say to autumn?A: Leaf me alone.8、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!9、Q: What did the monster say when he swallowed a clown?A: You taste funny.10、Q: Why don scientists trust atoms?A: Because they make up everything.11、Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.12、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.13、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug.14、Q: Why don vampires like going to parties?A: They don like to get sucked into conversations.15、Q: What did the bee say when it hit the window?A: Oh, buzz off!16、Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?A: Because he was outstanding in his field.17、Q: What did the barrel say to the other barrel?A: We can stand each other!18、Q: How do you make a hoodie laugh?A: Tell it a joke hoodie-style.19、Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.20、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.21、Q: why don astronauts play cards in space?A: Because they float away!22、Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.23、Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?A: Nothing, it just baa-ed.24、Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?A: Odor in the court!25、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!26、Q: What did the helium balloon say to the air?A: Nothing, it just let out a little squeak.27、Q: What did the computer say when it crashed?A: Hey, I having a bad day!28、Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?A: Nice belt!29、Q: What did the paperclip say to the magnet?A: I find you very attractive.30、Q: What did the silverware say to the plate?A: You complete me!31、Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?A: Aye matey!32、Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!33、Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? A: You too young to smoke!34、Q: What did the clock say to the other clock?A: Don worry, I right behind you.35、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!36、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!37、Q: What did the hamburger say to the hotdog?A: We make a great pair!38、Q: What did the rain say to the dirt?A: Let go make some mud pies!39、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!40、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?A: Dam!41、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug!42、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!43、Q: What did the alien say to the dad?A: Take me to your leader!44、Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?A: Hold on to your leaves!45、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!46、Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?A: Let go for a hop!47、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!48、Q: What did the rock say to the cliff?A: Hang in there!49、Q: What did the letter say to the envelope?A: Let stick together!50、Q: What did the mama bee say to her lazy bee?A: Wake up and Bee productive!51、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!52、Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?A: You crack me up!53、Q: What did the key say to the lock?A: It so nice to see you again!54、Q: What did the snail say to the turtle?A: Hurry up!55、Q: What did the cowboy say to the cactus?A: How it hanging?56、Q: What did the doctor say to the patient?A: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.57、Q: What did the bicycle say to the car?A: You may be faster, but I more fun!58、Q: What did the two antennas say to each other? A: You look good, girl!59、Q: What did the octopus say to the philosopher? A: I think, therefore I am eight!60、Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand? A: Let get to work!61、Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato? A: You looking a little red today.62、Q: What did the duck say to the waiter?A: Put it on my bill.63、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!A: Bee yourself!65、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Worm your way out!66、Q: What did the fish say to the whale?A: You a big fish in a small pond.67、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!68、Q: What did the teapot say to the cup?A: Time for a cup of tea!69、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Buzz off!70、Q: What did the noodle say to the other noodle? A: Let have a pasta party!71、Q: What did the alarm clock say to the bed?A: Time to wake up!72、Q: What did the tree say to the wind?A: Leaf me alone!73、Q: What did the tree say to the other tree?A: What a re-leaf!74、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!A: You looking sharp!76、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: Let work it out!77、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Wanna come out and play?78、Q: What did the elephant say to the mouse?A: You so tiny!79、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Let make honey!80、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!81、Q: What did the frog say to the fly?A: Time for dinner!82、Q: What did the pizza say to the oven?A: Let get cooking!83、Q: What did the fish say when it saw a boat?A: That a big hook!84、Q: What did the elephant say when he saw the mouse? A: That tiny!85、Q: What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? A: We have a lot in common!86、Q: What did the ball say to the other ball?A: Let play catch!87、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Bee mine!88、Q: What did the ice cream cone say to the other ice cream cone?A: Let have a scoop!89、Q: What did the tree say to the axe?A: Chop chop!90、Q: What did the pencil say to the eraser?A: Let work it out!91、Q: What did the horse say when it tripped?A: Neigh!92、Q: What did the scarecrow say when it got promoted? A: I outstanding in my field!93、Q: What did the pelican say to the other pelican? A: Let go for a dive!94、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Hey, bee-friend!95、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Let make honey!96、Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!97、Q: What did the firefly say to the other firefly? A: Let light up the night!98、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!99、Q: What did the spider say to the fly?A: You in my web now!100、Q: What did the bee say to the beekeeper?A: Let me out of this hive!从上述100个英语幽默小笑话可以看出，英语幽默小笑话涵盖了生活中的各种场景，不论是小动物、植物、机械还是自然现象，都能以机智、幽默、搞笑的方式进行描述。
英语简单小笑话带翻译
英语简单小笑话带翻译英语简单小笑话带翻译（精选6篇）看了这些笑话，除了使你开怀大笑、忘却烦忧之外，还能让你在各个场合得心应手，轻易营造欢乐气氛，成为众人目光焦点。
从笑话中学习英语，轻松自在，让你充满自信、左右逢源。
下面是店铺整理的英语简单小笑话带翻译的内容，一起来看看吧。
英语简单小笑话带翻译篇1After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?"After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
”英语简单小笑话带翻译篇2Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？” Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．”Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” Father：“A convert，my son．”有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒？” 父亲（一位老资格的政治家）：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的'人。
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。
小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
20篇简短英语笑话
20篇简短英语笑话1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!5. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!7. Why don't oysters donate to charity?Because they are shellfish!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!9. Why don't scientists trust stairs?Because they're always up to something!10. What kind of shoes do thieves wear?Sneakers!11. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!12. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!13. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!14. How do you organize a space party?You planet!15. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems!16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!17. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?All of the fans left!18. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?King Cod!19. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!20. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!总结：以上是20个简短的英语笑话，每个笑话都是一个独立的小故事，通过幽默诙谐的句子展示出逗人发笑的效果。