TED英语演讲：这才是爱情应有的样子

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A better way to talk about love

OK, so today I want to talk about how wetalk about love. And specifically, I want to talk about what's wrong with howwe talk about love.

今天我想谈谈我们是如何谈论爱情的。我尤其想和你们聊的是，我们谈论爱情时到底哪里出错了。

Most of us will probably fall in love a fewtimes over the course of our lives, and in the English language, this metaphor,falling, is really the main way that we talk about that experience. I don'tknow about you, but when I conceptualize this metaphor, what I picture isstraight out of a cartoon —like there's a man, he's walking down the sidewalk, withoutrealizing it, he crosses over an open manhole, and he just plummets into thesewer below. And I picture it this way because falling is not jumping. Fallingis accidental, it's uncontrollable. It's something that happens to us withoutour consent. And this — this is the main way we talk about starting a new relationship.

我们大多数人在一生中可能深爱过几次，在英语中，坠入爱河这个比喻，是我们谈论这段经历的主要方式。我不知道你是怎么想的，但是当我把这个比喻概念化的时候，我脑海里浮现的是一幅漫画——就像有一个人，他走在人行道上，没有意识到自己走过一个打开的井盖，然后他就一头栽进下面的下水道里。我会这么想是因为，坠落不是跳跃。坠落是偶然的，是无法控制的。是没经过我们的同意就发生了，而这我们说到开始一段新的感情，主要就用的这种方式去表达的。

I am a writer and I'm also an Englishteacher, which means I think about words for a living. You could say that I getpaid to argue that the language we use matters, and I would like to argue thatmany of the metaphors we use to talk about love —maybe even most ofthem — are a problem.

我是一名作家，同时也是一位英语老师，这就意味着我以思考语言为生。你可能会说，我们使用的语言很重要，我认为我们用来谈论爱情的许多隐喻——甚至可能是其中的大多数都是有问题的。

So, in love, we fall. We're struck. We arecrushed. We swoon. We burn with passion. Love makes us crazy, and it makes ussick. Our hearts ache, and then they break. So our metaphors equate theexperience of loving someone to extreme violence or illness.

于是，我们坠入爱河。我们被击溃。我们意乱情迷。爱让我们疯狂，也让我们难受不已。我们的心会痛，会心碎。所以我们把深爱某人比喻为与极端暴力和疾病相关的比喻。

They do. And they position us as thevictims of unforeseen and totally unavoidable circumstances.My favorite one ofthese is "smitten," which is the past participle of the word"smite." And if you look this word up in the dictionary —you will seethat it can be defined as both "grievous affliction," and, "tobe very much in love." I tend to associate the word "smite" witha very particular context, which is the Old Testament. In the Book of Exodusalone, there are 16 references to smiting, which is the word that the Bibleuses for the vengeance of an angry God.

确实是这样的。这些比喻把我们看作在不可预见和完全不可避免的情况的受害者。我最喜欢的一个是smitten，它是smite的过去分词如果你在字典里查这个词-你会发现它既可以被定义为“极度痛苦”，也可以被定义为“神魂颠倒”。我倾向于把"smite"这个词和一个非常特殊的语境联系起来，那就是《旧约》。仅在《出埃及记》中，就有16处提到了smiting，这是圣经中用来描述愤怒的上帝复仇的词。

(Laughter)

Here we are using the same word to talkabout love that we use to explain a plague of locusts.Right?So, how did thishappen? How have we come to associate love with great pain and suffering?Andwhy do we talk about this ostensibly good experience as if we are victims?These are difficult questions,