Drunk _英语笑话
英语幽默笑话带翻译
英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead.said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: I'm not dead. I'm still alive. Be quiet, said the wife. he doctor knows better than you! 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说尺我想他伤得很厉害尮医生说尺我怕他已经死了尮听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说尺我没死,我还活着尮妻子说尺安静,医生比你懂得多.2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. Hey,let me get on the bus. he man shouts.It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus.a passenger saysto him.But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver. he man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.尠喂,让我上车尡那位男士喊道.尠车太挤了, 你最好坐下一辆车上的一位乘客对他说.尠但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机尡那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad? Well, my son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. IfI regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.But, dad, the boy said, there's only ONE policeman!醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄笑话(jokes)往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
店铺整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一Wow!That's a Big One!哇!那个真是大得吓人One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。
”Then, an armadillo ran past the door.那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，and he asked the location of the bathroom.他问哪里有洗手间。
愚人节英语笑话_愚人英语笑话：酒鬼钓鱼
《愚人节英语笑话_愚人英语笑话：酒鬼钓鱼》摘要：一个酒鬼想在冰上垂钓，因此，他整理好钓鱼用具后，便四处去寻找钓鱼场所，loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."，replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."一个酒鬼想在冰上垂钓，因此，他整理好钓鱼用具后，便四处去寻找钓鱼场所。
最终，他发现了一大块冰，就跑到冰的中心开始锯洞。
这时，突然从天空中传来一个急速扩大的声音。
你是不会在冰的下面找到鱼的。
这个酒鬼朝周围看了看，可是没有一个人影。
他又继续锯了起来。
那个说话人的声音再次响了起来：我已经说过了，冰的下面没有鱼。
那个酒鬼又向四周从高处到低处看了半天，可还是什么也没有看见。
他又拿起锯继续往下锯。
他刚要锯冰面的时候，那个巨大的声音喝止他说：现在，我第三次警告你，这下面没有鱼!酒鬼顿时有些惊慌失措，甚至恐惧起来，于是他问那个声音：你是如何知道这下面没有鱼的?上帝呀，难道是你在警告我吗?不是，那个声音回答他，我是冰球场的经理。
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole.All of a sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "as I said before, there are no fish under the ice."The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "how do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?""No," the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."。
英文笑话带翻译简单易懂
英文笑话带翻译简单易懂篇一：看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.The Looney BinLate one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"The first inmate said, "God told me!"Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"疯人院一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”Notes:（1）Looney (俚语）疯子（2）inmate （n.同住者, 同室者(特指在医院、监狱)）（3）insane asylum (疯人院）3.Boxing and RunningDan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than h e is, who’s also been taught how to box."Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."拳击和赛跑丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。
英语短笑话加翻译
英语短笑话加翻译A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess2 and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby andtold them that they were a jury.The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant wasguilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started gettingready to go home, and everyone waited.After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sentthe bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. Whenthe bailiff returned, the judge said,"Well have they got a verdict yet?"The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"在一个小城市，一位法官正在审理一起酒后驾车案件。
英语幽默笑话7篇
英语幽默笑话7篇笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。
下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：Is he dying?A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face.A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。
一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。
那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。
当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。
英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmerThere was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
关于英语笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译
关于英语笑话带翻译:英语小笑话带翻译A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, even the brake pedal!" he cried out.However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake."一个醉汉打电话给警察局，报告小偷光顾了他的车，“他们偷走了仪表盘、方向盘，甚至连刹车脚板都偷走了。
”然而在警察还没有开始调查时，电话又一次响了起来，“没事了”，醉汉打着嗝说，“我不小心坐到了后座上。
”I wanted to make my mark as the new food-service officer at a recruit training center. The menu was loaded with red meat, so I devised a new one to reduce cholesterol(胆固醇). I substituted chicken for beef, and awaited comments from the suggestion box.The first one summed up the recruits' feelings. It read simply,″Let the chicken live.″我在新兵训练中心当上后勤服务长官时,想留下一些功绩。
幽默英语笑话合集4篇
幽默英语笑话合集4篇幽默英语笑话1a lady lost her handbag.it was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.looking in her purse,she commented,"hmmm....that's funny.when i lost my bag there was a$20bill in it.now there are twenty$1bills."一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。
她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。
”the boy quickly replied,"that's right,lady.the last time i found a lady's purse,she didn't have any change for a reward."“没错，夫人。
”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。
”幽默英语笑话2幽默英语笑话**笑话由于其滑稽可笑的'特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。
而人们对笑话的热衷与喜爱也促使人们在开怀捧腹的同时对笑话为何能够使人发笑这一问题进行思考。
阳光网小编精心收集了有关于幽默英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!有关于幽默英语笑话：Goldfish PassingLittle Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to,he politely asked,"What are you doing there, Nancy?""My goldfish died,"replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."The neighbor was very concerned."That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish,isn't it?"Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied,"That's because he's inside your fricking cat."有关于幽默英语笑话：Playing Octopushis guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says,"I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set ofbagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it.He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says,"Come on now!Playit!"The octopus replies,"What do you mean play it?!If I can figure out how to get the plaidpajamas off of it,I'm gonna screw it!"有关于幽默英语笑话：The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.However,as soon as he starts to draw a crowd,the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction,a gorilla,has died suddenly.The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one.The mime accepts.The next morning,before the crowd arrives,the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage.He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants,play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.However,eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires.He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience,he climbs to the top of his cage,crawls across a partition,and dangles from the top to the lion's cage.Of course,this makes the lion furious,but the crowd loves it.At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.Well,this goes on for some time.The mime keeps taunting the lion,the crowds grow larger,and his salary keeps going up.Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion,he slips and falls.The mime is terrified.The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.Finally,the mime starts screaming and yelling,"Help,Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces.The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,"Shut up you idiot!Do you want to get us both fired?"幽默英语笑话3a sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad.now,children,said she,has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。