老爸老妈浪漫史第九季20集人物

HOW I MEET YOUR MOTHER第九季20集人物台词1.Gary(G-21行)2.Robin(R-10行)3.Marshall(M-28行)4.Ted(T-62行)5.Lily(L-21行)6.Barney(B-32行)7.William(W-10行)8.James(J-6行)9.A girl(8行) 10.Waiter(1行) Action.R：Oh,my god.oh,my god.oh,my god.oh my god.oh my god!M:Why the code red?I mean,if it’s...if it’s about your hair,I didn’t even notice;especially not from the back. R:What?M:Nothing.R:Gary Blauman is here,and I had no idea he was coming.his reply card must’ve gotten lost in the mail.I mean,where’s he gonna sit?it took us weeks to plan the seating chart!M:Robin.sh...I got you.you’re talking to the seating chart master.at my own wedding,I managed to si t small-town Minnesotans right next to liberal New Yorkers with grace and aplomb.Table 27 still gets together once a year for a reunion.perhaps you’ve seen their photos on Facebook.like I said..I got you. R:Thanks,Marshall.M:Code red!grandma’s sitting nex t to the band,divorced couple sitting one table away from each other,on coherent singles table.this is the Robin’s hair of seating charts.T:Singles tables are cruel.I mean,what if you went to a weeding and there was a table of all fat guys? M:That would be awesome.T:You’re right,it would.M:Let’s crack this Gary Blauman mut first,and then we’ll work on the fat guy table.T:Wait,did you say Gary Blauman?M:Yeah.why?T:I ...hate...that guy.M:Why?T:Remember a few years ago when I read that biography of Teddy Roosevelt?I only wanted to talk about one thing.Teddy Roosevelt was the coolest guy ever!B:Oh ,that’s it! No more books,Ted.I don’t like the person you become when you read books.R:Here’s the deal:you get to tell us one more interesting fact about Ted dy Roosevelt.one more,and then you’re done forever.so make it a good one.T:Okay.he went blind in one eye..from getting hit too hard in a boxing match...while he was president! B:That’s a pretty good one.wow.R:That is kind of...T:Right?oh,and when he was at Harvard...All:No!no!shut up!oh,my god!please!T:(画外)Well,one night,we were throwing a party to celebrate...something--when a pretty girl I had never met noticed the book on the coffee table.The girl:I can’t believe you have this book.I just finished reading it.Teddy Roosevelt was coolest guy ever. T:A unicorn.(画外)I couldn’t believe it.it was a stroke of luck on par with the 50-page manuscript in Roosevelt’s breast pocket that helped slow that would-be assassin’s bullet.M:Dude ,come on.T:Sorry.Anyway...enter Gary Blauman.G:Is that the Teddy Roosevelt biography?coolest guy ever.Girl:Right?right?G:Right?right?T:Right?right?Girl:Right?T(画外):So the three of us started talking Teddy Roosevelt.(画内)when he took that four-minute flight on the wright bro ther’s plane?Girl:So cool!G:The time he climbed the tallest mountain in Europe on his honeymoon.Girl:So cool.T:(画外)And that’s when I realized,Blauman and I were locked in a battle of wills that made T.R’s charge san Juan Hill look like a walk in the park.or should I say,in the national park,since it was Roosevelt who spearheaded the establishment...M:Dude,come on.I gave you one.T:The battle raged on.Girl:In a way,he was...All:The archetype of the modern politician!T:Dude,knock it off.G:Knock what off,bro?T:This is my apartment,my Teddy Roosevelt conversation,I get the girl.G:Oh,so the fact that you’re the incumbent means she should just pick you?tell that to William Howard Taft.T:You tell to Taft!G:I’m not Taft! I’m Teddy!T:The hell you are.My name is Ted!G:Yeah,right.go sign the Payne-Aldrich Tariff Act,Taft!Girl:Skinny-dipping in the Potomac river.笑声T:(画外)And so the standoff continued,hours passed...then days.M:Days passed?T:Days passed.finally,a T.R. Stricken by tropical fever-on his amazon trek, we could go no further.G:When he was Assistant secretary of the navy...T:Will you just pick one of us already,so I can either have sex or go to sleep!R:smooth,bro.T:After that day,I have never liked that guy.so let’s just tell Robin this can’t be done,and send Gary Blauman packing.L:Did you just say Gary Blauman?T:Yeah.L:I...love that guy!T:What?he’s the devil!L:He’s an angle.it was 2006,Marshall and I had broken up,and I was back in new york feeling vulnerable and listening to my breakup song over and over.M:Sugar ray’s fly.L:You know it.T:Then you remember nothing about breakupL:I really don’t.anyway,then I hit bottom.T:There’s a bottom in sugar ray?what?why have I never seen that before?L:I’ve been using cover-up and strategically placed straps for a long time to keep this puppy quiet.T:After all this times you guys made fun of me for my breakup butterfly tattoo?so why is it only half a butterfly?L:Because Gary Blauman saw me in the tattoo parlor,dragged me out and talked some sense into me. G:Lily.trust me,you and Marshall are going to get back together.and when you do,you will be so glad you did not get the other half of that butterfly.L:Actually,I was gonna get a little more than a butterfly.G:It’s good that I ran into you.L:Marshall,blauman saved you from a lifetime of looking at sugar ray every time we do it on your birthday.find him a nice seat.T:No,no,do not find him a seat.I’m telling you,this guy...L:You find him a nice...T:(画外)Neither of us was gonna back down,so finally we decided to take it to the groom...B:Did you say Gary Blauman?M:Yeah.B:Gary Blauman?T:Yes.B:ma,Gary?T:Point,comma,get to the damn.B:I...love...that we have the opportunity to destroy gary blauman’s weekend by kicking him out of theweeding!T:Yes!Gary Blauman haters’club right here!B:What that guy did to me.oh...god!it makes me furious to this day!okay,okay,I’m gonna try and tell this story without completely losing it.ready?okay,here goes.I was at the...nope,note gonna happen.give me a second.I was at the bar.G:Hey,barney!B:What’s up.blauman?have a seat.G:Oh,thanks.Waiter:Your fries,need anything?G:I’m good thanks.B:He was not good,thanks,at all!L:Oh,what?di he take one of your fries?B:Take one?take one?lily,it would have been one thing if he took one of y fries;that would have been one thing.no,lily,that day,blauman took...dour of my fries!but that’s not even the capper!here’s the part that still keeps me up at night:the fourth fry he took...the fourth fry he took...T:Buddy,you oka...you okay?B:The fourth fry he took...was an accidental curly.T:You don’t take a man’s accidental curly.M:You take a man’s wife before you take his accidental curly.L:If you wanted curly fries so bad,why not just order them in the first place?T:Yeah,yeah,yeah.cause that’s what you want all curly fries.M:Regular cut with a few accidental curlies.that’s what you want.B:That’s the dream.T:He’s right.that is the dream.B:No!I refuse to look down from the altar as I say my vowels to the woman of my dreams,and see that damned,stupid,accidental-curly-fry-stealing Gary blauman!W:Did you say Gary Blauman?I...hate...to disagree with barney.but I love that guy!I just met him earlier today.G:Oh,my gosh!it’s you.W:Yeah.G:You’re the poet William Zabka.W:Nobody ever recognizes me for my poetry.he has all six of my collections.when terry gross interviewed me on fresh air,Gary blauman rules!J:Gary blauman?I...hate...that I once thought I loved Gary blauman.L:Ooh,this sounds good.J:Gary’s the guy that I had an affair with.tom found out,threw me out of the house.now the kids are from a broken home.because of Gary blauman.everything that matters to me is gone.B:I got that beat.so,I was ordering these fries...T:Wait,wait,wait,wait,wait,blauman’s gay?well...then that means that night,the real battle was between blauman and the girl.and the prize...was this guy.B:Keep telling yourself that,buddy.J:I don’t want to see Gary blauman at my brother’s wedding.B:Neither do I!I’m the brother in question!Now,now,hold on.M:Order!order!robin put this on my plate,and so I’will make the decision.now,let’s take a shortrecess.everybody out.All:OkayT:Lily,out of court settlement.drop this whole thing,and I will give you ten bucks.L:No!T:I can’t go higher than ten.M:I’m ready to give my decision.lot of good points on both sides.but ultimately...blauman stays.L:Yeah.Mans:What in the...?M:For one simple reason.there is a higher law at every wedding. A law that trumps all other arguments.when the bride asks for something,she gets it.L:Yes.T:Well,he’s right.M:This fake court thing is adjourned.judged.T:Well,I guess let’s go find blauman and tell him the good news.B:Yeah,about that.bit of a wrinkle.I was just in the hallway,ran into blauman.I told him if he didn’t leave immediately,then billy Zabka was gonna crane-kick him in the face.W:What?but that’s not even my move!M:We have to stop him.T:Barney!M:Come on,come on,come on.T:So ,we all run out to the parking lot to stop Gary blauman from leaving the wedding...B:Blauman,blauman,I’m sorry.you can stay.billy won’t kick you in the face.W:It’s not even my move.if I was gonna do anything,I’d sweep the leg,and put you in a body bag;everyone knows that.G:What...?is that from one of your poems?W:Thank you for that.T:Please stick around,for the bride.you’re not Taft .even if you are,Roosevelt shouldn’t have divided the party like that.I mean,he handed the election to Wilson.G:Completely,right?T:Right?right?G:No wait!no!all right?forget it!and,james,I’m sor ry about you and tom.but you have to stop blaming me for your own decisions.well,guys,take a good look.this face you won’t be seeing again.L:Come...M:The bri...the bri...W:Gary...L:He’s really leaving.J:Hey,barney.you still,uh,have my wedding ring?B:Yeah.J:I’ve got some work to do.excuse me.B:Blauman will cool off eventually.we’ll see him again.T:Of course we will.M:I don’t know,I mean,we might really never see him again,because I remember at our wedding looking out and thinking,man,every one here means so much to me.a bunch of those people,you know,I haven’t seen them since.T:(画外)And that’s how it goes,kids.the friends,neighbors,drinking buddies and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young,as the years go by, you just lose touch.End.。