荆轲刺秦王(英文版)话剧

The man wants to kill the king旁白：Long, long ago , it was Warring States Period, the war among different countries seemed endless. Every king or minister tried to find some supermen to work for them——to be the killing tools for their political purposes. As time went by, it was becoming a fashion to feed some good men at home……This is a crazy world. In the crazy world, there are the crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by the crazy way.第一幕：Conspire(密谋)太子丹:(上，叹气）Ying Zheng, that bad guy, treats me even worse than before. Resorts to lots of persons in his hand, he never cares about me ---the most sensible prince under the sun. Recently, he has got much more cities from my hands. How can I live if these things happen again(急)。

Hey!! I must think out a good idea. I must make him know who I am. (向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? (大臣阿三上)Indeed, tell me what shall we do now?阿三:（毕恭毕敬）Just keep calm, please! Let me see! （盘坐在地,两手在头上画画如一休）（旁外音：当当当，砰！！）（阿三起）Ok, I get one, we can sent a hero to put Ying Zheng to~~~（作杀状）Then, all the beauties, jewelries and cities in Qing is ours~~~ （淫笑）太子与阿三作流口水状.太子：Ha, ha~~~. Good idea, Good idea! But do you think who we can sent?阿三：I have thought about it, we can send Xi Men Chui Xue. He is traveling in our country these days. I think we can’t lose the chance. We must employ him quickly.太子：Well, deal with the things as soon as possible.第二幕：tournament (比武)西门吹雪（上台，摆出一幅酷式，手一张，一条纸带随风而下）西门吹雪（Xi Men Chui Xue）Height: 190cmFavorite doing: chattingWar power: endlessFavorite color: blackWeaponry: long swordFavorite drinks: beerType of blood: OFavorite idol: Xiao Yanzi ,Mao ZedongToday I came here for the fighting, who is the unwanted-life guy. Stand out.荆轲（抖嗦而上）站在一边，不敢出大气。

旁白：Competition begins.荆轲:（带剑冲向西门吹雪，半途停住）Are you really Xi Men Chui Xue?西门吹雪：Just come on.荆轲：（又冲，停在西门吹雪面前）Are you sure you are really the Xi Men Chui Xue in the story?西门吹雪：（不耐烦）what a boring man! How dare you ask me such a stupid question?荆轲:（环视四周见无一人，便跪在西门吹雪面前，大哭）My hero, I admire you just like the yellow river, never endless. I have eighty-year-old mother up, three-year-old boy down. Please don’t kill me. Give me the life, please!西门吹雪:（大怒）I thought Jingke is a hero. But you beg for life. How can I forgive you? Give me your life. (举剑刺向荆轲，忽然，捂住自己的肚子，自语) Maybe I ate too much this morning, Maybe there is something wrong with the rice. (抬头) where is the toilet?荆轲：T-o-i-l-e-t-?西门吹雪：WC.荆轲：W-C-?西门吹雪：（急）茅厕！！Are you happy to hear such rude words?荆轲：I know, I know. Turn left, left and left.西门吹雪下。

太子丹与阿三上，看见荆轲，大吃一惊，太子丹给阿三一个眼色，阿三会意。

走至荆轲前。

阿三:What’s your name, please? Hero.荆轲不屑一顾。

太子丹:（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：Even die under the flower, also happy as a ghost. Happy prince of the gost!太子丹（抱拳）：How do you do?荆柯：How do you do?荆柯突欲走，太子丹给阿三一个眼色。

阿三：Hero, wait for a moment. I have a problem which needs your help。

太子丹：You can gain a lot of things.荆柯欲走又止。

太子丹(从衣兜里掏出一张卡片): Here is a card for traveling all over the world for free, please accept it please, hero.荆柯正准备拿，但马上又止，转身又欲走太子丹（慌了）：I must use the last way. Ladies and gentlemen，this is Miss Huang!旁白：“大世界”响起有一妖艳女子走上（男扮女装），走到荆柯面前，给荆柯抛了一个眉眼。

荆柯两眼发直。

太子丹与阿三（击掌）Yeah!荆柯（站直，厉声道）：Great man, both born and die for his motherland. I am not the guy who just wants money and beauty. What shall I do? Prince, just say it out. But this lady……太子丹：No problem.第三幕：Say goodbye in Yishui River(易水别)荆珂在前，太子丹在后，阿三拿着地图和一盒珠宝上。

阿三：We have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Please just stop here. Goodbye.太子丹：Hero, Let me see you off a little further荆珂：What a boring guy. If you walk a little further, then you will go to Qin instead of me.太子丹：Well. Goodbye. Hero. Here is the map and jewellery, so as to get trust of the king.第四幕：murdering (刺秦).一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。

大臣甲（掏出手机一看）：Hey, bad luck. I am late. The bonus of this month has been lost.大臣乙：I am tired. I had been chatting on QQ until 1 o’ clock last night.大臣乙（看了一下大臣甲）：Good. Good. Your skin is fine.大臣甲：I use “ Da Bao” everyday.大臣乙：I have heart the emperor of Yan again give our king some good things. Be quick, to have a look.大臣甲：Come on秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。

卫兵丙：Can we begin？秦王:begin!卫兵丙：Let the people of Yan, Jingke come in!荆柯上。

作揖，吓得直发抖。

秦王：Jingke. What’s wrong with you？荆柯：Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas on my body .秦王（不烦）：What’s the good things，quickly！荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦，（旁白：Go Go Go Only Only响起）秦王摔倒，转身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。

两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿……大臣甲喊道：“Mr King, drink the milk quickly!”扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，咂了一下，顿时，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。