生活大爆炸The Big Bang Theory 第三季中英剧本第4集

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生活大爆炸第三季剧本(英文版)S3E8

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E08 – The Adhesive Duck DeficiencyScene: A camp site.Howard: How much time do we have?Leonard: Uh, t-minus five hours, 37 minutes to onset of meteor shower.Raj:Okay, our position is 34.48 degrees north, 118.31 west. That means the azimuth should be 168.22 degrees relative to magnetic north with an elevation of 49.93.Howard: Anything yet?Leonard: Uh, we have a signal, but there’s no frame lock.Howard: Hang on, how about now?Raj: We did it. We have the west coast feed of HBO. Howard: Ooh, Real Sex.Raj:Big deal. Every time I watch that show it’s old women putting condoms on cucumbers.Howard: Alright, let’s see what’s on the east coast feed.Leonard: Oh, hey. Dune.Raj:Not a great movie, but look at that beautiful desert.Leonard: Too bad Sheldon couldn’t come with us. Raj: Yes, it’s not the same without him. (They all laugh)Howard:Oh, this sucks, I’m switching back to Real Sex.Scene: The apartment.Sheldon:Sheldon’s log, stardate 63345.3. While my colleagues are off observing the Leonid meteor shower, I have remained behind to complete my paper on the decays of highly excited massive string states. Although my research is going well I do miss the warmth of human companionship. (He laughs)Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Sheldon: And good evening to you, Siam Palace. This is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I’m going to be dining alone this evening, so I’ll be reducing my usual order. I’d like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and, uh, one half of the golden treasure for two. Oh, for heaven’s sake, in the mid-18th century, King Rama IV of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely, you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings.Penny(voice off): Sheldon help!Sheldon: I need to go, but you keep in mind that my sharply worded comments on recently took down a local muffin store. (At Penny’s door, knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny..Penny: Come in! Hurry!Sheldon: Penny?Penny:I’m back here.Sheldon: (At Penny’s bedroom door, knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny..Penny: Oh, for god’s sakes, I’m in the bathroo m! Sheldon: Shall I come back at a better time? Penny: Get in here! Hurry! Don’t you dare knock. Sheldon: Hello.Penny: I slipped in the shower, and I think I dislocated my shoulder.Sheldon: Not surprising. You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction.Penny: What?Sheldon: Tubs are slippery.Penny: I know. I slipped.Sheldon: I have a series of whimsical duck stickers on the bottom of my tub.Penny: Yeah, okay, whatever. Will you just turn the water off and help me up?Sheldon: They’re holding umbrellas.Penny: What?Sheldon: The ducks in my tub.Penny: Uh-huh.Sheldon: They’re whimsical because ducks have neither the need for, nor the ability to use umbrellas. Penny: Oh, my god. I got to go to the emergency room.Sheldon:Well, assuming you’re correct that your right humerus is no longer seated in the glenoid socket, I would certainly think so.Penny: Okay, can you drive me?Sheldon: I don’t drive.Penny: Well, I can’t drive!Sheldon: Well, it seems we’ve reached an impasse.Penny: Ow.Sheldon:But I could call you a cab or an ambulance.Penny:No, no, no, I can’t wait that long, you got to help me, please.Sheldon: All right. Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress.Penny:No one’s saying that. Let’s go.Sheldon:Well, it does seem rather ironic that for want of 99-cent adhesive ducks, we both might die in a fiery car crash.Scene: The camp site.Leonard: I wish Penny didn’t have to wo rk, she loves camping.Raj:Yeah, that would have been great. You and Penny having sex in the tent while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus.Howard:Okay, the best I can tell, there are eight other campsites nearby. Mostly science nerds like us, but just over yon ridge are two not unattractive middle school teachers who reek of desperation. Raj: Wow. Wonderful. How old are they? Howard: Oh I don’t know, 50, 55.Raj: Oh, menopause, nature’s birth control. Leonard: Come on, you guys can’t be that h ard up. Howard: I am.Raj: Yeah, me, too.Howard: Look, they gave me homemade cookies. Leonard: Of course, they did. That’s what grandmothers do.Raj: So, what are we waiting for?Howard: Relax, I said we’d stop by a little later after they have their nap.Raj: Good idea. They’ll be refreshed.Howard: Cookie?Raj: Y eah, thank you. Mmmm.Leonard: Mmmm, not bad.Raj:Yeah, very tasty. Well, so tell me more about these teachers.Howard: Not much to tell. They had a VW Microbus and were wearing tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirts. Raj: Huh. Mmm. Good cookies.Scene: Penny’s bedroom.Sheldon:I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. Which panties do you wear on Mondays?Penny: I don’t need panties, I just need shorts and a shirt.Sheldon:My mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.Penny: One was already in an accident. Sheldon: That doesn’t mean one won’t be in another, especially if I’m driving.Penny: Clothes, Sheldon. I need clothes! Sheldon: Okay, here.Penny: Seriously? Those shorts with that top? Sheldon: All right.Penny:No… No… Oh, that’s cute.Sheldon:We should have you checked for a concussion.Penny: Okay, now, you got to help me put these on. Sheldon: All right.Penny: But don’t look.Sheldon: Don’t l ook?Penny:I don’t want you to see me naked. Sheldon:Oh. Well, that’s understandable. You may be interested to know that a prohibition against looking is well established in heroic mythology. Uh, Lot and his wife, Perseus and Medusa, Orpheus and Eurydice.Penny: Yeah, great.Sheldon: They always look. It never ends well. Penny: Ok, now you gotta help me get my arm into the sleeve.Sheldon: Ok.Penny: Is that my arm?Sheldon: It doesn’t feel like an arm.Penny: Then, maybe you should let it go. Sheldon: All righty.Scene: The camp site.Leonard:Stars are pretty, aren’t they?Howard:Up above the world so high, like little diamonds in the sky.Raj: That’s beautiful, dude. You should… You should write that down before someone steals it. Howard: So, when do the meteors get here?Raj: The meteors don’t get here, the earth is moving into their path.Leonard: I can feel it. I can feel the earth moving. It’s moving too fast. Raj, slow it down.Raj:Okay, how’s that?Leonard: Better. Thanks.Howard: Stars are pre tty, aren’t they?Leonard:What’s so funny?Raj:It’s your American accent. Everything you say sounds stupid. (With an American accent) Stars are pretty, aren’t they?Scene: Penny’s car.Sheldon: For the record, I should let you know this is my first time driving an actual motor vehicle. Penny: You have your learner’s permit, right? Sheldon:Yes, and I have logged a considerable number of hours on a simulator.Penny: Good.Sheldon:Didn’t work out well.Penny: All right, can we please go?Sheldon: One mome nt. According to my driver’s ed book, a side mirror is properly adjusted when a portion of the is driver’s door handle is visible in the lower right corner. There’s the handle. Oh, no, too far, bringing it back. Optimized. Now, where is the switch to adjust the passenger side mirror? Penny: It’s right there.Sheldon: Where is the passenger side mirror? Penny: In a parking lot in Hollywood. Now, can we please go?Sheldon: Yes. As soon as I adjust my seat. Whee! Oh, dear. I’m going to have to start again.Scene: The camp site.Raj:If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king. Leonard: I hate my name. It has nerd in it. Len nerd.Howard: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie. Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. At first. Leonard:You know what’s a cool name? Angelo. That has angel and jell-o in it.Howard: It was my Uncle Murray’s funeral. We were all back at my Aunt Barbara’s house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen.Raj: One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits, they hate me and don’t come. I am embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.Leonard: People could call me Angie. Yo, Angie, how’s it goin’?Howard:To this day, I can’t look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed. Oh, cousin Jeanie.Scene: Penny’s car.Penny: Could you please drive a little faster? Sheldon:Oh, I think we’re going sufficiently fast. What’s that?Penny: Nothing. The engine does that sometimes. Sheldon:That can’t be nothing, the check engine light is on. We need to find a service station. Penny: No. The light has been on since I bought the car.Sheldon:All the more reason to consult with a mechanic before it explodes.Penny:It’s not going to explode, just keep driving. Warp speed ahead, Mr. Spock.Sheldon: Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was the science officer, and I guarantee you that if he ever saw the Enterprise’s check engine light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately. Penny: Oh, god, I’m gonna lose the arm. Sheldon: Oh, oh, red light, release accelerator and slowly apply the brake. Nailed it. While we have a moment, may I ask you a question?Penny: What?Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for soup tattooed on your right buttock?Penny: It’s not soup, it’s courage.Sheldon: No, it isn’t. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.Penny:How did you see it? You said you wouldn’t look.Sheldon:Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.Scene: The camp site.Howard: Anything?Leonard: No. That was the last pudding cup. Howard: No! What about Slim Jims?Leonard: That’s what he used to eat his pudding, remember?Raj: Right! That was so good! Sweety and meaty at the same time.Howard: Wait. Wait, wait. So you’re saying we’re out of food?Leonard: The only thing in here are blue ice packs.Raj:I know they’re poison, but they look like big,yummy otter pops.Leonard: Oh, god, I am so hungry.Howard:Me too. Check and see if we have any more pudding.Leonard: Okay.Scene: The hospital waiting room.Sheldon:All right, there’s no need to bark at me. According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk, you’ll be seen after the man who claims to be having a heart attack, but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone. We have to fill these out. Describe illness or injury. Penny: I dislocated my shoulder.Sheldon: All right. And how did the accident occur? Penny: You ready know that.Sheldon: Cause of accident, lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history. Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes?Penny: No.Sheldon: Kidney disease?Penny: No.Sheldon: Migraines?Penny: Getting one.Sheldon: Are you currently pregnant?Penny: No.Sheldon: Are you sure? You look a bit puffy. Penny: Change migraine to yes.Sheldon: When was your last menstrual period? Penny: Oh, next question.Sheldon:I’ll put, in progress. Okay, moving to psychiatric disorders, list all major behavioural diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety, etcetera. Penny: Oh, my god, what the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?Sheldon: Episodes of sub psychotic rage. Penny: Ass.Sheldon:Possible Tourette’s. All right, moles, lesions or other skin conditions. Soup tattoo on right buttock.Penny:Hey, Sheldon, Sheldon, look, I am scared and in a lot of pain. Could you please just take a break from being you for just a minute and try being, I don’t know, comforting?Sheldon:I’m sorry. There, there. Everything’s going to be fine. Sheldon’s here.Penny: Thanks. That’s much better.Scene: The camp site.Raj: Oh, I’m so hungry!Leonard: Will you shut up? We’re all hungry. Howard:Okay, our objective is the boy scout campsite to the east. Easy target. Big doughy scout master, couple of cubs, most webelos.Leonard: What kind of score are we looking at? Howard:Hot dogs, buns, s’mores, I mean, it’s a freaking 7-11.Leonard: All right, everyone grab flashlights. Howard: Oh, my god, could it be? Yes! My mother put an I love you brisket in my backpack. Leonard: Quick, get forks.Howard:You don’t need forks. It’s so tender, it falls apart in your hands.Raj: He’s right.Leonard: I feel like we’re forgetting something important.Raj: Me, too. But what? (Behind them, the meteor shower has begun)Howard:Maybe a tupperware bowl of roasted potatoes and carrots?Leonard and Raj together: Yes! Yes!Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon: Now remember, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so, uh, don’t operate heavy machinery. Try not to choke on your own drool.Penny:Wait. You have to help me get into bed. Sheldon has to get me into bed. Bet you never thought I’d say that.Sheldon:Yes. The charm of your drug addled candour knows no bounds.Penny: You kn ow, people think you’re this weird robot man who’s so annoying all the time, and you totally are, but then it’s like that movie Wall-E at the end. You’re so full of love, and you can save a plant and get fat people out of the floaty chairs. Sheldon:That’s a fairly laboured metaphor, but I appreciate the sentiment behind it.Penny:Sing “Soft Kitty” to me.Sheldon:“Soft Kitty” is for when you’re sick. You’re not sick.Penny: Injured and drugged is a kind of sick. Sheldon (singing): Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur…Penny: Wait, wait. Let’s sing it as a round. I’ll start. Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur… See that’s where you come in. I’ll start over. Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur… I’ve got all night, Sheldon. Soft kitty, war m kitty… (Sheldon joins in with the round) little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.Scene: The camp site. Raj is telling a ghost story with the torch on his face.Raj: …And the next morning when he woke up, he rolled over and reali zed… duh-duh-duh! …she was his cousin.Howard:That’s still not funny.Raj(imitating him): That’s still not funny.Howard: And she was my second cousin.Raj (imitating him): And she was my second cousin. Howard: You’re a real douche.Raj: Who cares? You slept with your cousin.。

生活大爆炸第三季剧本(英文版)S3E11

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E11 – The Maternal CongruenceScene: The apartment.Penny:Oh, I always tear up when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes.Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which could lead to congestive heart failure.Leonard(singing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.Penny: You really didn’t like it, Sheldon?Sheldon: No, on the contrary. I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character, and I was really with him right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved Christmas. What a buzz kill that was.Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.Sheldon:Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account. Leonard (continuing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.Credits sequence.Scene: The apartment.Penny: I just love decorating the Christmas tree. It makes me feel like a little girl again.Leonard: We didn’t have a tree when I was growing up.Penny: Really? Why not?Leonard:Mmm, in my family, holidays weren’t so much c elebrated as studied for their anthropological and psychological implications on human society.Penny: Oh, sounds festive. Did you at least give presents?Leonard: Mmm, in a way. We presented papers, and then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each other.Penny: Sheldon, what about you? Did you have a Christmas tree?Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they induced neighbourhood-wide seizures.Penny: So I take it you don’t want to help us trim the tree.Sheldon: I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request that you add this.Penny: What is it?Sheldon: You’re kidding, right? It’s a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.Penny: Oh, sure, sure, yeah. Very Christmassy.Sheldon: Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree. Leonard: Here we go.Sheldon: December 25, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is born. Jesus, on the other hand, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday that celebrated the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. Which, frankly, sounds like more fun than 12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake.Leonard: Merry Newton-mas, everyone.Sheldon: I sense that’s not sincere, although I have no idea why.Penny: No, it’s fine. Look, Sir Isaac can go righ t next to this little candy cane.Sheldon: No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree.Sheldon:I understand. You dispute Newton’s claim that he invented calculus and you want to put Gottfried Leibniz on the top.Leonard: Yeah, you got me. I’m a Leibniz man.Sheldon:Well, perhaps when your mother gets here, she’ll talk some sense into you.Penny:What? Your… your mother’s coming? When?Leonard: Tomorrow.Penny: When were you going to tell me?Leonard: Um, tomorrow?Penny: Why were you keeping this a secret?Leonard: Well, I just, I thought…Sheldon:If I can interject here, obviously Leonard is concerned that his mother won’t approve of you as his mate.Penny: Why wouldn’t she approve of me? I’m adorable.Leonard: You are, it’s just…Sheldon: If I can interject again. Leonard comes from a remarkably high-achieving family, who have all chosen high-achieving partners. He probably feels that it’s doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu. Penny:Hey, it’s a big menu. There’s two pages just for desserts.Leonard: I know. And those specials, they change every day.Penny: Okay, you know what? It’s lame when I say it, it’s just ridiculous when you pile on.Leonard: Okay, sorry.Penny: So what did she say when you told her we were going out?Leonard:Um…Penny: You didn’t tell her we were going out, did you?Leonard: Um…Penny: Why not?Leonard:Um…Sheldon: Leonard, I’m no expert on meditation, but if you’re trying to calm yourself down, I believe the word is Om.Scene: Leonard’s car.Beverley: It was so nice of you to come all the way down to the airport to pick me up.Sheldon: No trouble at all.Leonard:I drove, Mother. I’m driving now.Beverley: Yes, dear. Mommy’s proud. I’ve been meaning to thank you for your notes on my paper disproving quantum brain dynamic theory.Sheldon: My pleasure. For a non-physicist, you have a remarkable grasp of how electric dipoles in the brain’s water molec ules could not possibly form a Bose condensate.Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. When did you send my mom notes on a paper?Sheldon: August 16th. Right after her carpal tunnel surgery.Beverley: Oh, did I thank you for the flowers?Sheldon: You did.Beverley: I don’t really like flowers.Sheldon: Neither do I, but it’s the social convention.Beverley:It is, isn’t it?Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. You had surgery?Beverley: Yes, and Sheldon sent me flowers.Beverley: Then what was all that wait, wait, wait about?Leonard:I just don’t understand why he knows more about your life than I do.Beverley:Well, I would assume it’s because Sheldon and I stay in touch due to mutual interest and respect, while you avoid me, due to unresolved childhood issues.Sheldon: It’s what we think caused your narcissistic personality disorder. We discussed it at length during our last video chat. Although how we got onto the subject of you is baffling.Beverley:Yes, but we are on the subject, so I’m obliged to ask, Leonard, how are you?Leonard: Fine, Mom. How are you?Beverley: Mmm, menopausal.Leonard: Now I’m less fine.Beverley: Have you heard your brother has gotten engaged?Leonard: No. Sheldon, why didn’t you tell me?Sheldon: My bad. I did send a gift from both of us.Beverley:She’s a remarkable girl. The youngest appeals court judge in New Jersey and a two-time Olympic bronze medallist.Leonard: You must be very happy.Beverley:Why? I’m not marrying her. So, how about you? Are you seeing anyone intere sting?Sheldon:Well, I’m not sure about interesting, but…Leonard: Not the time, Sheldon.Sheldon: Very well. Shall we switch topics to Isaac Newton v. Gottfried Leibniz?Beverley:It’s all right, Sheldon. I will just pretend that Leonard’s not withholdin g information. Although, I will point out, Leonard, that I am a trained psychiatrist and you are exhibiting the same secretive behavioural tics that accompanied your learning to masturbate.Sheldon: Isn’t she brilliant, Leonard? How I envy you.Scene: The apartment.Beverley: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings toward one another?Howard: What? No.Beverley: Why not?Howard:Because we don’t have latent homosexual feelings toward one anoth er.Beverley: I see.Howard: No, really. I have a girlfriend now.Beverley: And where is she this evening?Howard: She had to go out of town. Her grandmother died.Beverley: I see. Her grandmother died.Howard: Honest to God. Leonard, tell her I have a girlfriend.Leonard:I don’t know what you’re talking about.Howard:What do you mean you don’t know what I’m talking about? Tell her I have a girlfriend!Leonard:All right. He “has” a “girlfriend.”Howard: Her name is Bernadette, she’s working as a waitress, but she’s going to school to be a microbiologist.Beverley:Howard, keep in mind that the more passionately you stick to this construct, the more you’re hurting your partner.Howard(to Raj who has whispered to him): Do you really think your lips in my ear is helping?Penny (arriving): Hi. Sorry I’m late.Leonard: Oh, glad you’re here, uh, sit down, I’ll get you a plate. Mom, you remember Penny.Beverley: Oh, yes, the waitress slash actress with the unresolved father issues. Has he finally come to terms with his little slugger growing breasts?Penny:Well, he sent me a football and a catcher’s mitt for Christmas, so I’m going to say no.Howard: If it helps, we’re all good with your breasts.Beverley: Classic overcompensation. Oh, speaking of fathers, Leona rd, that reminds me, I’m divorcing yours.Leonard: What?Beverley: Yes. He was cheating on me.Leonard: No!Beverley: Yes, with some waitress from the university cafeteria. Can you believe it? A waitress? Oh, no offense, dear.Penny: No, it sounded like a compliment.Leonard: When did this happen?Beverley:Mmm, well, let’s see. Sheldon, when did I leave Leonard’s father?Sheldon: September 22nd.Beverley: Oh, yes, that’s right. The weekend after Leonard’s dog died.Leonard: Mitzy’s dead?Sheldon: She was old and blind, Leonard. What choice did we have?Leonard: I don’t believe this. Why am I the last to know?Beverley:Excuse me, Leonard, I am the one who’s getting a divorce, Mitzy is the one who is dead. Why are you the one making a fuss?Leonard:You’re right. I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m sorry, I’m way out of line!Beverley:So, Penny, what’s new in your life?Penny: Nothing. Not a damn thing.Scene: Penny’s car.Beverley: Thank you for driving me back to my hotel.Penny:Oh, it’s not a problem.Beverley: I was going to ask Leonard to do it, but he seemed a bit emotionally unstable and you don’t want someone like that operating heavy machinery.Penny: No, you do not.Beverley: Your check engine light is on.Penny: Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that. So, uh, you must be devastated about your divorce. Beverley:Oh, not at all. But I am a bit distressed to be in a vehicle that’s not subjected to regular maintenance.Penny:Come on, I mean, you’re not upset that your marriage is over?Beverley: Well, initially I felt so mething akin to grief and perhaps anger, but that’s the natural reaction of the limbic system to being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.Penny: Sure, sure.Beverley:Thankfully, my shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact that I haven’t had intercour se with him in eight years.Penny: Eight years?Beverley: Oh, that’s nothing. I’ve been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.Penny: Yikes. What’s so funny?Beverley: That’s exactly what I say during orgasms. Yikes.Penny: You know what? I could use a drink. Do you want to stop for a drink?Beverley: Oh, I don’t drink.Penny: I do, I’ll teach you.Scene: Leonard’s bedroom.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Leonard: What is it?Sheldon: I made tea.Leonard:I don’t want tea.Sheldon:I didn’t make tea for you. This is my tea.Leonard: Then why are you telling me?Sheldon:It’s a conversation starter.Leonard:That’s a lousy conversation starter.Sheldon:Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Che ckmate.Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?Sheldon: What I want is to be departing the Starship Enterprise in a one-man shuttle craft headed to the planetoid I rule known as Sheldon Alpha Five.Leonard: I want that too. Why are you here?Sheldon: To comfo rt you, of course. No, that’s not going to work at all, I’ll comfort you from over here. Leonard, what you’re experiencing is a classic Jungian crisis in which the aging individual mourns the loss of the never-to-be realized ideal family unit.Leonard: Tha nk you, that’s very comforting.Sheldon:That’s not the comforting part.Leonard:It’s not?Sheldon: No, no. The comforting part is that the Germans have a term for what you’re feeling. Weltschmerz. It means the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is to a hypothetical, idealized world. Leonard: You’re right, I do feel better.Sheldon: Well, the Germans have always been a comforting people. Just remember, Leonard, where your biological family has failed you, you always have me, your surrogate family.Leonard: You’re my surrogate family?Sheldon:If it’s any consolation, I’m not happy about it either. Good night.Scene: A bar.Penny: Okay, now this time try drinking it all at once.Beverley: Yikes.Penny: I’ve been responsible for my own buz z since 2003. Another round for me and my homegirl. Beverley: I feel a spreading warmth through my extremities.Penny: As long as you don’t feel it running down your pants, you’re fine.Beverley:Oh, that is fascinating. I’m noticing an immediate lowering of my inhibitions. For example, I’m seriously considering asking that busboy to ravish me in the alleyway while I eat cheesecake. What do you think?Penny: Well, we are known for our cheesecake. Hit us again.Beverley: Yes. If a little is good, more must be better.Penny: Hey, Bev, guess what?Beverley: What?Penny: I’m sleeping with your son.Beverley: Really? Which one?Penny: The one from whom I live across the hall from.Beverley:Well, that’s convenient. How did his penis turn out?Penny: Oh, Beverly, I can’t talk to my boyfriend’s mother about his penis.Beverley: Oh, fair enough. What can you tell me, if anything, about that busboy’s penis?Penny:Actually, I’ve only had the cheesecake. One more time. You know, Leonard did not want to tell you we were dating.Beverley: Really? Well, that means he’s either embarrassed about the relationship or he doesn’t care enough about his mother to tell her he’s in one. Either way, one of us should be insulted.Penny: Well, let’s go find out who.Beverley: You go ge t a taxi. I’m gonna slip my business card into that busboy’s back pocket, cupping his firm, right buttock as I do so.Scene: The apartment.Penny: Leonard?Beverley: Sonny boy!Penny: Get out here! Your mommy wants to talk to you!Leonard: What the hell is going on?Penny: You’re in trouble.Beverley: Why didn’t you tell me you were tapping my homegirl? Did I say that right?Penny: Yeah, not bad, not bad.Leonard: Are you guys drunk?Beverley: Well, I hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del T aco? Now, how could you not tell me you were in a relationship with this lovely, charming young woman?Penny: Oh, thank you.Beverley: You’re welcome. Is it because she’s uneducated, trapped in a menial service position?Penny: What the hell happened to lovely and charming?Leonard:How come you didn’t tell me that you and Father were getting a divorce? How come you didn’t tell me you had surgery? How come you didn’t tell me my dog died?Beverley: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What I hear you saying is that you want a more intimate mother-son relationship.Leonard: I do.Beverley (gives him an uncomfortable hug): There. It’s late. Now, go to bed. I’m getting a warm feeling spreading through my heart.Penny: That’s the Del Taco.Sheldon: Why is Leonard softly banging his head against his bedroom door?Beverley: Speaking of warm feelings, come here. (She grabs Sheldon and kisses him) No, I’d rather have the busboy.Scene: Leonard’s car.Beverley: Thank you for taking me to the airport.Sheldon: You’re very welc ome.Leonard: Once again, I’m driving. I’m right here.Beverley: Please, I am very hungover and in no mood to satisfy your need for approval. Sheldon, I do hope you’ll forgive me for my inappropriate behaviour last night.Sheldon: I don’t blame you. You we re intoxicated.Beverley: Thank you.Sheldon: I blame Penny.Penny: I blame Penny, too. Bad Penny.Leonard: Wait a minute, what are you talking about? What inappropriate behaviour?Beverley: I think it’s best that you not know.Sheldon: Agreed.Penny: Agreed.Leonard: What the hell, agreed.Beverley: And I want you to take very good care of this young woman.Penny: Oh, thank you, Beverly.Beverley: You’re welcome. She doesn’t have much in the way of career prospects, don’t make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.Leonard: Mother, remember when I was complaining that you don’t communicate with me enough? Beverley: Yes, dear.Leonard: I’m over it.Penny (finishing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la-la。

生活大爆炸第三季剧本(英文版)S3E20

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E20 – The Spaghetti CatalystScene: The lobby.Penny: Oh, damn, they cancelled my Visa. Oh, yay, a new MasterCard!Sheldon: Uh-oh.Penny: What?Sheldon: I was going to get my mail.Penny: Okay. Are, are you hoping to get it telepathically?Sheldon: I think you mean telekinetically. And no, I just wasn’t sure of the proper protocol now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.Penny: God, can we please just say no longer seeing each other?Sheldon: Well, we could if it were true. But as you live in the same building, you see each other all the time. The variable which has changed is the coitus.Penny: Okay, here’s the protocol, you and I are still friends, and you stop saying coitus.Sheldon: Good, good. I’m glad we’re still friends.Penny: Really?Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I’d hate for that effort to have been in vain.Penny: Right.Sheldon: Just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?Penny: Everyone.Sheldon: Harsh terms. But all right, I’ll just substitute intercourse.Penny: Great.Sheldon: Or fornication. Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones, so I’ll hold that in reserve.Penny: So, how you been?Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I’ve been what I am at each point in the implied time period. Penny: You’re just coitusing with me, aren’t you?Sheldon: Bazinga.Penny: Mmm. How’s Leonard doing?Sheldon: He seems all right. Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that. Penny: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it.Sheldon: I’d rather you pretend I didn’t say it. I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghe tti sauce. Penny: Yep.Sheldon: That’s the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that’s what the Romans made Jesus eat.Penny: Interesting. I’ll have to have you over for spaghetti some night.Sheldon: I’m hungry now.Penny: Oh. Um, okay. Why don’t you give me an hour and come over?Sheldon: Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?Penny: I don’t have hot dogs.Sheldon: Oh, it’s all right, I do. Oh! You’re in for what my mother calls a r eal Eye-talian treat. (Enters apartment).Leonard: Hey, where you been?Sheldon: I was talking with Penny.Howard: What’s wrong with you? You can’t hang out with your roommate’s ex. That’s totally uncool.Leonard: No, no, it’s fine. I don’t care. I’m over it.Raj: Yeah, he’s over it, that’s why he’s been whining all day about trying to invent that memory-wiper gizmo from Men in Black.Sheldon: Is he making any progress? Because I’d like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.Howard: So would Ben Affleck. The po int is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides. You’re either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.Sheldon: Which one picks last?Howard: What?Sheldon: Well, usually I’m on the team that picks last. Unless there’s a kid in a wheelchair.Leonard: Sheldon, I got you your tangerine chicken. I hope you’re hungry.Sheldon: Well, of course I’m hungry. And as I have no plans to eat with any other team, I will consume my tangerine chicken with the appropriate gusto. Mm, mm, mm!Leonard: Okay.Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, do we still have hot dogs?Leonard: I don’t know. Why?Sheldon: Just making dinner conversation. Go, Team Leonard!Credits sequenceScene: A few moments later.Howard: Oh, God, this is good.Raj: Let me ask you a question. Do you believe you’re going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork? Howard: Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.Leonard: Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?Sheldon: Certainly. It’s not like I have to moderate my food intake because I’m planning on eating ag ain very shortly. Mm, mm, mm!Leonard: So, you guys want to do something tonight?Howard: Nah, I can’t. I got to pick up my mom from her water aerobics class. 18 overweight women flapping their arm fat in a swimming pool. Looks like the manatee tank at Sea World.Leonard: What about you, Raj?Raj: Oh, there it is, now that you don’t have a girlfriend, you want to hang out with me again.Leonard: I never stopped hanging out with you.Raj: Oh, please, we all know I’m the friend you call when you have no other options. If we were the Justice League, I’d be Aquaman.Howard: I wish you were Aquaman. Then I could send you to scoop my mom out of the old lady tank. Sheldon: Excuse me, I’m thirsty, so I’m going to go to the refrigerator and get myself a refreshing be verage. Leonard:You know what? I’ll just spend the evening alone.Raj: What, suddenly I’m not good enough for you?Sheldon: Ah, I do so love beverages. Now I think I’ll take my after-dinner walk.Leonard: Since when do you take after-dinner walks?Howard: Yeah, since when do you take walks?Sheldon: I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increases serotonin, and you know me, if there’s one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it’s serotonin. Bye-bye. Howard: Hold on. I’ll walk down with you.Sheldon: Oh, that’s not necessary. You can go first.Howard: Or we could go together.Sheldon: I can’t think of a reason why not.Howard: Let’s go.Sheldon: Hold on. Nope, no reason.Raj: I’ve missed you.Scene: The lobby.Sheldon: All right, say hello to your mother for me.Howard: Okay.Sheldon: What?Howard: You said you were going for a walk.Sheldon: I didn’t say outside.Howard:So what, you’re just gonna walk up and down the stairs?Sheldon: No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.Woman’s voice: Here Bubbles. Here boy.Howard: Which way are you going?Sheldon: Which way are you going?Howard: I parked my scooter down the block.Sheldon:I’m going the other way. Bye.Howard: Bye. Actually, I’m this way. Do I smell hot dogs?Sheldon: No. I mean, I have no idea what you smell.Howard: I definitely smell raw hot dog.Sheldon:Perhaps you’re getting a brain tumour.Howard: All right, have a nice walk.Sheldon: I shall. Have a nice scoot.Howard: You might want to stand back. I’m sitting on top of 13 horses here.Sheldon: Oh. Hello, doggie. Nice doggie. I bet you think you smell hot dogs. Look, a cat!Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Penny, (knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Long pause, knock, knock, knock) Penny.(Penny opens door. A dishevelled Sheldon is holding up one hot dog.) Here. I had to trade the others for my life.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Hey, Leonard?Leonard: Yeah?Raj:I haven’t had sex in a year.Leonard: Where you going with this, Raj?Raj:Don’t flatter yourself, dude. I want to go out and meet a woman.Leonard: So, go.Raj: Well, I need a wingman. I don’t want to come off like a lonely loser.Leonard: And you think my presence will help with that?Raj: Well, I d o. Next to you, I’ll look like a catch.Leonard: I’m not going out tonight, Raj.Raj: All right. Would you mind if I went to your room and downloaded some Asian pornography? Leonard: Very much.Raj: Doesn’t have to be Asian.Leonard:Don’t worry. You’ll me et a girl someday.Raj:No, I won’t.Leonard: Yes, you will, and she’ll be beautiful, and kind and sexy and funny and everything you ever wanted in a woman.Raj: You really think so?Leonard: I do, and you’ll fall hopelessly in love and give her your heart. And she’ll take it and grind it into pathetic, little pieces.Raj:But we’ll have sex first, right?Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon: Mmm, mmm, mmm. That’s Eye-talian.Penny: So, um, was Leonard okay with you coming over?Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, he said, I’m fine, I don’t care. And he in no way said it in a manner which would lead one to believe that he was covering up feelings of anguish and betrayal.Penny: Well, good.Sheldon:I’m also pleased to report that he’s all cried out over you.Penny: He’s been crying?Sheldon: Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn’t supposed to mention.Penny: Oh, God, I feel terrible.Sheldon: Do you have a stomach ache, too?Penny: No. Why, do you?Sheldon: No.Penny: Why did you ask if I had one, too?Sheldon: Just making polite dinner conversation. Your turn.Penny: All right. So, what’s new in your life?Sheldon: Well, my new shoes are not made for running.Penny: Have you been running?Sheldon:No. It’s just a suspicion I have. Mmm, mmm, mmm.Penny: I’m so gla d you like it.Sheldon: I do. Leonard never cooks for me.Penny:Well, maybe that’s ’cause Leonard can’t cook.Sheldon:You can’t cook and you made me this.Penny:Whatever. Ooh, I’m gonna get the cheesecake out of the fridge.Sheldon:Oh, Lord, I’m in Jew ish hell.Scene: The apartment.Raj:Look at this. Do you think she’s really doing that or is it PhotoShop?Leonard: I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart never got naked with a room full of big, fat Japanese guys.Raj:You don’t know that. Prison changes people.Leonard: Hey, where you been?Sheldon: I told you, walking.Leonard: For an hour and a half?Sheldon: I got lost.Leonard: How could you get lost? Your phone has GPS.Sheldon: Satellites are down. Solar flares.Raj: There are no solar flares right now.Sheldon: Yes, there are.Raj: Dude, I’m an astrophysicist. If there were solar flares, I’d be all up in it.Sheldon:I’m sorry. I misspoke. What I meant to say was my battery died.Leonard: What the hell was that about?Raj:I don’t know. Do you think this is really Hillary Clinton doing it with Oprah?Leonard: Oh, we really need to get you a girl.Scene: Leonard’s bedroom. Leonard is asleep.Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (knock, knock, knock) Leonard. Leonard: Oh, just come in!Sheldon: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?Sheldon:Maybe this isn’t a good time.Leonard: Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you.Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.Leonard: What do you want?Sheldon: You may want to sit down.Leonard:I’m in bed!Sheldon: Point taken. You may want to sit up.Leonard: Sheldon!Sheldon:I’ve been seeing Penny behind your back.Leonard: Okay, when you say seeing Penny, what exactly does that mean?Sheldon: We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it. Well, little hot dog. I gave up the other five hot dogs to a real dog. A real, big dog. A hell hound. Tangential to the primary story. How about I circle back to it?Leonard: Fine. Why did you have dinner with Penny?Sheldon: I told you, she made spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.Leonard: Then why did you have Chinese food with us?Sheldon:I didn’t want to upset you. Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.Leonard: Is it possible he said Bros before Hos?Sheldon: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hos.Leonard: Sheldon, I don’t care if you want to be friends with Penny.Sheldon: Oh. Well, so the emotional turmoil that’s been keeping me from achieving REM sleep was entirely unjustified?Leonard: Yes.Sheldon: Well then as my meemaw would say, looks like we butchered a pig, but nobody wanted bacon. Leonard: I guess not.Sheldon: And now, as promised, the tangent. Sheldon and the Hell Hound, or How I Lost My Hot Dogs.Scene: The laundry room.Penny: Oh, um, I, I can come back.Leonard: D-don’t be silly. We’re neighbours, we’re going to run into each other, may as well get used to it. Penny: Yeah, I guess you’re right.Leonard: You used to it yet?Penny: Nope.Leonard: Me neither. Oh, Sheldon seemed think that I would be upset about you hanging out with him. But I just want you to know it’s fine.Penny: Oh, oh, good, because, um, his mother called me.Leonard: His mother?Penny: Yeah, she wants me to take him shopping for sheets and towels.Leonard: I was going to do that.Penny: Oh, well, then you, you do it.Leonard:No, I don’t want to do it. You can do it.Penny: Okay, you can take him for shoes.Leonard: I just took him for shoes.Penny: Well, all I know is he says they hurt his feet.Leonard:Fine. I’ll take him for shoes next Saturday.Penny: Oh, no, no, no, a bunch of us from work are going to Disneyland next Saturday and Sheldon wants to come.Leonard: Y ou’re taking him to Disneyland?Penny: Well, he heard me making plans on the phone. Was I going to say no?Leonard:All right. But let me know if you’re going to stuff him with junk food. I don’t want to bring home a nice dinner for him and see it go to waste.Penny: We’re going to Disneyland. He’s going to eat junk food.Leonard: Al l I’m saying is give me a heads-up.Penny: Okay, whatever.Leonard:And don’t let him go on Space Mountain after he eats. He’ll say he can handle it, but I promise you’ll end up with churro puke on your shoes.Penny: All right, got it. Is there anything else?Leonard:Yeah, don’t let Goofy near him. He’ll have nightmares and I’ll have to deal with it.Penny: What’s the problem with Goofy?Leonard: Wish I knew. He’s fine with Pluto.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Hey, do you think the elastic woman in The Incredibles needs to use birth control or can she just be a diaphragm?Howard: Well, that’s it. We’re officially out of things to talk about.Penny:We’re home.Leonard: It’s ten o’clock, where have you been?Sheldon: We stayed for the California Adventure water show. It was pure Disney magic.Leonard: I was going to see that with him.Penny: How was I supposed to know that?Sheldon:It’s all right. I’ll see it again with you.Leonard: And I have food here. You said you were going to call.Penny: I know, I know.Sheldon: I can still eat.Penny: No, you already threw up once. Go put on your PJs and brush your teeth.Sheldon:Okay, but just don’t fightLeonard: We’re not fighting.Penny: Just go.Leonard: Aren’t you going to thank Penny for taking you to Disneylan d?Sheldon: Thank you, Penny.Penny:You’re welcome, sweetie.Leonard: Want a cup of coffee?Penny: Oh, um, I should probably get going.Leonard:Come on. It’s just a cup of coffee.Penny: Yep, okay.Howard (to Raj, who has whispered to him): Oh, yeah, the whole thing seems a little twisted to me, too. Leonard: What am I smelling?Penny: Sheldon’s churro on my shoes.Scene: Sheldon’s bedroom.Penny:He’s such an angel when he’s asleep.Leonard: Yeah. Shame he has to wake up.Penny: I think we can do it.Leonard:Smother Sheldon in his sleep? Wouldn’t that be wrong?Penny: No, be friends. You and me.Leonard: Oh. Sure. Absolutely.Penny:Good. I’m glad.Leonard: Here’s an idea. I’m just throwing it out there, friends who have sex. Penny: Good night, Leonard.Leonard:Kidding. Just a couple of friends goofin’ around.Sheldon(in his sleep): No, Goofy, no.。

《生活大爆炸第十一季TheBigBangTheory（2017）》第1-4集..

目录第1集 (2)第2集 (13)第3集 (25)第4集 (36)第1集Previously on The Big Bang Theory... E01《生活大爆炸》前情提要I was offered a summer research fellowship at Princeton. 我得到了普林斯顿大学的夏季研究奖学金A fine institution. 很不错的大学The place where Albert Einstein taught, 阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦教过书的地方and where Leonard got his PhD, 莱纳德也是在那里拿到博士学位so it may have gone downhill.所以那学校可能没落了Gentlemen, you may remember Dr. Nowitzki. 各位还记得诺维茨基博士吗She's back at Caltech for her postdoc. 她又回来加州理工读博士后啦Question. are you seeking a romantic relationship withme?问一下你是想和我发展恋爱关系吗What if I were? 如果我是呢Well, that would raise a number of problems. 这会引起一系列的问题We're colleagues, I'm currently in a relation... 我们是同事我现在有女友Amy? Amy. 艾米艾米Amy? 艾米时至今日Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗One moment, please. 稍等我一下Really, you're going to answer that right now? 不是吧你真要现在接这电话吗It's Leonard. 是莱纳德打来I don't want to be rude. 我不想失礼嘛Hello? 你好Oh, hey, where you been? 你上哪去了We've been calling you for hours. 打你电话找你好久了Oh, I'm sorry, my phone was on "Airplane" Mode.抱歉我的手机之前在飞行模式Why? 为什么Because I was on an airplane. 因为我在飞机上"飞行"啊Hey, put him on speaker. 开公放Y eah. ‭H ey, where are you? 你去哪里了I came to Princeton to see Amy. 我来普林斯顿大学找艾米It's a funny story, actually.其实还挺有意思I was having lunch with Dr. Nowitzki,我当时在跟诺维茨基博士共进午餐and she kissed me. 然后她亲吻了我- Excuse me? - ‭W hat? -什么-啥I'm sorry? 你说什么And in that moment, I realized 在那一刻我意识到that Amy was the only woman I ever wanted to kiss 艾米才是我余生for the rest of my life. 唯一想亲吻的女人So I came to New Jersey to ask her to marry me. 所以我来新泽西跟她求婚Oh, that's so sweet. ‭你真是太甜了- Sheldon... - Y eah, although -谢尔顿... -不过呢there was one man whose blessing I needed first. 我的确是先去求得了某位男士的祝福I've thought about it, and I really want to spend 我想过了也的确想要the rest of my life with Amy. 与艾米共度余生Do I have your blessing? 你会祝福我吗Well, Sheldon... 谢尔顿...I think you should make her finger like Saturn 我觉得你应该将她的手指变成土星and put a ring on it. 再往她手指上套个土星"环"Y ou asked Stephen Hawking and not her father? 你去问了霍金博士而不是艾米父亲吗Stephen Hawking's a genius. 霍金博士是个天才If he said no, I wasn't gonna waste my time on her father. 如果他不支持我才不要浪费时间去问她爹But you did ask my father? 那你有问过我父亲吧I did. He said yes. 有他同意Although, not in a robot voice, so it wasn't nearly as cool. 但不是用机械人式语音说的所以没那么酷Okay. Oh, my God, I can't believe you guys areengaged.我的天啊真不敢相信你们订婚了We're not engaged, yet. 还没订上婚呢She's taking forever to answer. 她想了半天还不回答我Because you're on the phone! 因为你在讲电话We'll call you back. 我们稍后回电She said yes. 她同意了Y ay! ‭C ongratulations! 恭喜你们Mother, I have some good news to share. 母亲我有好消息与你分享We're engaged. 我们订婚啦I am so happy for you two, but I'm not surprised. 我真为你们开心但我一点都不惊讶I've been praying for this. 我为此事祈祷多时了Well, God had nothing to do with it. 这件事上帝没半点功劳It happened because I was kissing another woman, 完全是因为我跟别的女人接了吻and it made me realize I wanted to be with Amy. 令我意识到我想跟艾米共度余生More than one woman was interested in you? 超过一名女性对你有兴趣吗I might have prayed a little too hard. 我可能祈祷太猛了Wait, oh, and I just... 等等我想先...I want to let you know right now 我想现在就跟你说清楚that we are not getting married in a church. 我们不会在教堂里成婚That's all right, Sheldon.没关系谢尔顿Anywhere Jesus is is a church. 耶稣在哪哪便是教堂Well, he won't be at our wedding. 但他不会在我们婚礼上He's in my heart, so if I'm there, 他会在我心里所以只要我人在he'll be there. 他就在Okay, well, then, he's your plus-one. 行那他就是你带的伴Y ou don't get to bring anyone else. 你带人的名额就用完了That's fine. Love you. 没关系爱你Love you, too. Bye. 我也爱你再见Lord, thank you. 主啊谢谢您Even though you can do anything, 虽然您无所不能that was mighty impressive. 但这事真显出了您的无上威能We're engaged. 我们订婚了Oh, my God, that's amazing! 天啊太棒了Wait, uh, tell me everything.慢着快告诉我整个经过Well, Dr. Nowitzki was kissing me... 是这样的诺维茨基博士亲了我Okay, you can stop leading with that part of the story. 你可以别再用这事当故事开头了Well, congratulations. 恭喜你们啊I'm so happy for you two. 太为你们俩高兴了Hold on, I have to tell Bernadette.稍等我得告诉伯纳黛特Hey, Bernie, guess what? 妮妮你猜怎么着Sheldon and Amy got engaged. Can you believe it? 谢尔顿跟艾米订婚啦你敢信吗Oh, my God. I cannot believe it.天啊我真不敢相信She's so happy... I think she's crying. 她好像高兴到... 在喜极而泣啊Do you think Sheldon's gonna want 你觉得谢尔顿会想要办一场some weird Star Trek wedding? 怪胎的《星舰迷航》风婚礼吗I don't know. 我不知道Well, Leonard could barely finish the words 莱纳德当时想说"Doctor Who wedding cake" "《神秘博士》婚礼蛋糕"before I shut that down hard. 还没说完就被我狠狠拒绝Are you listening to me? 你有在听我说话吗Y eah, you're mean to Leonard. I heard you. 有啊你对莱纳德毫无人性我听到了Is everything okay? 你还好吗Look, I'm gonna tell you something, 我要告诉你一件事but you can't freak out, 但你不许惊慌失措because I'm already freaking out. 因为我已经很手足无措了Oh, my God, what is it? 天啊什么事I'm pregnant again. 我又怀孕了Wha... 什...Interesting. 有点儿意思Howard's gonna lose his mind. 霍华德要是知道会疯的Wait, you haven't told him yet? 慢着你还没告诉他吗No. 没有Y ou told me first? Oh, Bernie! 你先告诉了我妮妮小亲亲This wasn't supposed to happen-- we were careful. 这事不应该啊我们很小心的Y eah, I didn't even think you could get pregnant 对啊我本来还以为哺乳期内while you were breastfeeding. 女人是不会怀孕的呢Well, guess what? Y ou can. 结果呢老娘就怀了Okay, look, look, this is a good thing. 好吧听着这是桩好事Halley's gonna have a little brother 这样哈雷就会有个弟弟or sister to play with. 或者妹妹陪她玩了I guess that would be pretty cute. 我想那应该是会挺有爱And, you, know, I was a surprise to my parents, 你知道吗我也是我爸妈的意外之喜and my dad said it was the best thing 我爸说我是发生在他们身上that ever happened to them. 最美好的事Okay. Maybe this baby actually is a blessing. 好吧也许这个宝宝是上天的恩赐Oh, my God, honey, of course it is. 天啊亲爱的当然了How am I pregnant again? 我怎么会又怀上了呢Y eah, what were you thinking? 对啊你搞什么鬼啊All right, I'm all checked in to my flight. 机票确认好了Well, I'm sad you're leaving.你要走了我好难过Why'd you only book a flight for one day? 为什么你订当天来回呢I came here to propose. 我来是为了求婚If you'd said no, I wouldn't want to stick around 要是你拒绝我我可不想looking at your stupid face. 留下来看着你的蠢样Now, mind you, your face is only stupid 是这样的只有你拒绝我的情况下in the "No" version of the story. 你才会是一脸蠢样But I said yes, so I get a lifetime of this. 但我答应了能享用一辈子的你这货Y es, you do, smart face. 是啊机灵鬼Why don't you stay a few extra days? 不如你多待几天吧Well, I don't have any other clothes. 我没带别的衣服We'll get you some. 我们可以去买Oh, I don't know, I'm pretty particular. 不要了吧我这个人很挑的离这儿不到1600米的地方有家漫画店Well, there's a comic book store less than a mile fromhere.Perfect, let's go shopping. 棒买买买对了我今晚要跟同事共进晚餐Oh, um, and I'm having dinner with some colleaguestonight.I'm sure they'd love to meet you. 他们会很高兴见到你的Come on, what do you say? 来嘛好不好A w, you're nagging me. 你开始跟我唠唠叨叨了It's like we're already married. 感觉我们已经结婚了似的Is that a yes or a no? 那到底好不好嘛Geez, save some for the honeymoon. 天啊留点力等蜜月了再叨逼叨吧Look at Nowitzki over there. 瞧那是诺维茨基I can't believe she tried to steal 不敢相信她想从艾米身边Sheldon from Amy. 抢走谢尔顿Y ou know what? 瞧好了I'm gonna go there and tell her that they're engaged now 我要过去告诉她他们订婚了and that her little plan didn't work. 她的小把戏落空了Because you're sticking up for Sheldon, 这是因为你想维护谢尔顿or because you're still mad she rejected you? 还是因为你还在气她拒绝了你Too far away, can't hear you. 距离太远听不到你在讲什么Hello, Ramona. 你好拉蒙娜Hello. 你好Why are you sitting by yourself? 怎么独自一人坐在这呢Oh, that's right, 我知道了Sheldon's in New Jersey being engaged to Amy. 谢尔顿在新泽西他和艾米订婚了I heard. 我听说了Now that Sheldon's out of the picture, 现在谢尔顿闪边去了I could give you one more chance to go out with me. 我可以再给你个机会跟我约会Nope, I'm good. 谢邀不用了Y ou sure? 你确定吗I will not ask again. 小爷可不会再问第二次I sincerely hope not. 我真心希望你不会再问了V ery well. 行吧I'm going to leave before this gets awkward. 那在气氛变尴尬之前我先撤了Want me to make dinner? 要我做晚饭吗Uh, sure, but first, why don't you have a seat? 好啊不过你能先坐下来吗There's something I need to show you. 我有东西给你看Ooh, if it's how to make dinner, that'd be great. 是晚饭教程的话就完美了Is this a... pregnancy test? 这是... 验孕棒吗Y es. 是的That means... positive? 这表示... 阳性吗Y es. 是的No. 不是吧Y es. 是的N-- No. 不不是Y es. 是的No! 别啊How could this even happen? 这怎么可能发生呢Uh, w-- we were careful. 我们这么小心- Well, it did. - ‭N o! -就是发生了-不可能-Y es! Y es! - ‭N o! No! -我不能接受-接受现实吧Okay! Okay! Okay! 好吧好吧行吧Well, w-what are we gonna do? 那我们该怎么办What do you mean what are we gonna do? 什么叫"我们该怎么办"We're gonna have another baby. 我们又要生一个宝宝了- No! No! ‭- Stop that! -不不-别叫了‭- Y es! - No, I'm trying! -就是怀了-我也在试着不叫啊Look, I know it's scary, but... 我知道这感觉很可怕但是we're both responsible adults, we can do this. 我们都是可靠成年人我们能行Y ou really think so? 你真这么想吗No! 不- Hey, Stuart. - ‭O h, hey, Raj. -你好斯图尔特-你好拉杰What can I help you with? 有什么能帮到你的I need to buy an engagement gift. 我要买一份订婚礼物Well, you came to the wrong place. 那你来错地方了It's for Sheldon and Amy. 是送给谢尔顿和艾米的- No way! They're engaged? - ‭Y eah. -不是吧他们订婚了-是的Well, that's exciting news. 真是个令人激动的好消息Who would've thought Sheldon and Amy would be thenext two谁能想到谢尔顿和艾米会是下一对to tie the knot? 喜结连理的呢Tell me about it. I'm the one 可不是嘛我才是那个who caught the bouquet at Leonard and Penny'swedding.在莱纳德和佩妮婚礼上接到捧花的人通常是女生抢捧花\N抢到捧花的人会延续幸福/最快下一个结婚Okay. 好吧Uh... you know, 我看看they might like this. 他们可能会喜欢这个Superman and Wonder Woman, it's kind of romantic. 超人和神奇女侠挺浪漫的Y ou know what? 其实呢Why am I buying them a gift? 我干嘛给他们买礼物They have love. 他们已经拥有爱了Screw them and their happiness. 幸福脱单的都去死吧What do you have for someone who's bitter and alone? 你有没有适合苦逼单身狗的东西Literally everything. 全部都是Sheldon, these are the heads of my research team. 谢尔顿这两位是我研究小组的领导- Oh, hello. - Dr. Zane, Dr. Harris, -你好-赞恩博士哈里斯博士this is my fiancé, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 这是我未婚夫谢尔顿·库珀博士That's the first time I've said that 我第一次这样叫他and it kind of gave me the goose bumps. 我都荡漾得起鸡皮疙瘩了Dr. Cooper, 库珀博士we are so excited to meet you. 很高兴能见到你Well, that's very kind of you. 太客气了If you'd like, I could autograph your menus after dinner, yeah? 想要的话饭后我可以在你们的菜单上签名But I better not see those on eBay. 但最好别让我发现你们拿去网上拍卖No, no, no, we're just excited to meet the man 不不我们只是很开心能见到who landed this brilliant woman here. 赢得这位才华横溢女士的男人That wasn't hard, 那一点都不难she threw herself at me. 是她倒贴我的Now, getting the universe to show me its naughty bits, 但要让宇宙向我展露"私密"that-that took some doing. 那才需要费一番功夫Sheldon's a physicist. 谢尔顿是物理学家‭O h, that's nice. 挺不错啊Amy, I recently read your paper on lesions 艾米我最近读了你in the olfactory receptors in the brain. 关于嗅觉受体损伤的论文It was inspired. 非常富有创见Oh, well, I guess it didn't stink. 看来水平不算太臭But if it did, that rat wouldn't have known it. 但即使臭了那只老鼠也闻不到‭I'm sorry, 抱歉I'm sure you don't want to sit here 你肯定不想坐在这儿and listen to a bunch of work talk. 听我们聊工作Oh, no, I love it. 不我很喜欢No, but let's talk about work. 我们来聊工作吧Amy's work, my work. 艾米的工作我的工作Y eah, why don't we start with my work? 不如就先聊我的工作吧Actually, I do have a question for Dr. Cooper. 我还真有个问题想问库珀博士When Amy first told you about her approach to synaptic tracing, 艾米首次告诉你她对突触追踪的切入点时did you think it was gonna revolutionize the field? 你有意料到会给这个领域带来巨大变革吗Really? 不是吧That's your question? 你要问的就是这个吗What are you, Entertainment Tonight? 怎么你是综艺节目《今夜娱乐》的人吗Y ou know what? 这样吧Let me give you a better question. Here, 我来给你提供一个更好的问题听着um, "Dr. Cooper, "库珀博士I heard you were working on a top-secret project 听说你正在为美国军方for the U.S. Military. 研究一个机密项目Why don't you tell us about that?" 不如跟我们说说这个吧"See, that's a great question. 这才是个好问题Okay, what was that like? 好吧那项目怎么样Oh, I can't tell you that, it's top-secret. 我不能告诉你那可是最高机密Boy, that was exhausting. 刚才好心累Y ou know, no offense, but your colleagues were prettyrude.无意冒犯但你的同事很无礼Really, they were rude? 是吗是他们无礼吗Y es. 是啊They just kept talking about you and how great you are, 他们只会一直说你的事说你有多了不起no matter how many times I brought me up. 完全无视我多次提起我自己Y ou know, these are my colleagues他们是我的同事and they want to talk about my work. 想谈论我的工作成果Why does that bother you so much? 这有什么好让你不爽的Because I was there. 因为我也在场啊It's like having Optimus Prime over to dinner 就像请《变形金刚》的擎天柱来吃饭and not asking him to turn into a truck. 却不叫他变身卡车一样Y ou know what, Sheldon? 你知道吗谢尔顿Y ou're not always the smartest person in every room. 你并非永远都是房间里最聪明的人Y ou may not even be the smartest person in this room. 你很可能都不是这房间里最聪明的人Oh, I am sorry. 不好意思What, is Neil deGrasse Tyson hiding behind the couch? 难道尼尔·德格拉塞·泰森躲在沙发后面吗著名天体物理学家'Cause if he is, he's not that smart, 如果真是也只证明了他也没多聪明it's pretty dusty back there. 因为后面挺多灰的Hey, where are you going? 你要去哪里I'm storming off to my room. 我要气冲冲地回我的房间Well, then where am I supposed to storm off to? 那我能气冲冲地走去哪儿Well, you're so smart, why don't you figure it out? 你那么聪明怎么不自己想Is there another bedroom? 还有其他卧室吗Perhaps a-a den? 或者小房间之类的So, how are you guys doing with all the new 你们对你子宫里那个新事件events in your womb? 适应得怎么样Good, you know? 挺好的Obviously, it was a surprise. 显然这是个意外惊喜There was some crying and some yelling.发生了一些哭泣和争吵Some suggestion of make-up sex that did not go overwell,有些打和好炮的提议被拒绝了even though it's not like we can get more pregnant. 即使我们并不会怀上加怀But then we realized that it's a gift, in the sense 但我们意识到这是一份礼物that we didn't ask for it, 虽然我们没有主动要求and we may not have chosen it... 也没有主动选择And we already have one. 而且我们已经有一个了Y ou know, whenever I find a top I like, 每当我买到喜欢的衣服I always go back and get a second one in a differentcolor.就会回去再买一件同款不同色的Which I hope is not the case with your baby. 希望你们的宝宝不会是不同色I know you guys are freaked out, but you're great parents, 我知道你们吓坏了但你们是很好的父母and if you ever need help, we are here for you. 你们如果需要帮忙我们随时都在Y eah, anything at all, just ask. 是啊不管什么忙开口就是了Ooh, you know what you could do? 你知道你们能做什么吗Y ou could have a baby, too. 你们可以也生个宝宝I'm sorry, what? 不好意思你说什么No, that's a great idea, we could go through it together. 真是个好主意我们可以一起经历这个过程Wouldn't that be fun? 那一定会很好玩对吧Y ou guys were just saying 你们刚刚才在说how freaked out and miserable you are. 你们有多害怕多凄惨I say a lot of crazy things. 我经常说疯话I'm pregnant and hormonal. 毕竟我怀孕了体内激素发生变化Do it! Have a baby, do it! 快点生个宝宝干起来Come on, it'd be so cute, our kids playing together? 那画面超级萌我们的孩子在一起玩耍What do you say, why don't you two hit the old mattress 怎么样你们俩快去把床单滚起and whip up a family? 赶紧搞出个娃娃来Okay, we're not gonna have a baby 我们才不会为了让你们开心just to make you guys feel better. 就赶紧生孩子呢Y eah, if we're gonna have a baby it's gonna be when we are ready, 想让我俩生孩子除非是我们准备好了or when I'm certain Penny is gonna leave me. 或者我确定佩妮要抛弃我了Exactly. 没错They're my friends, and I should be happy for them. 他们都是我的朋友我应该为他们高兴A-And I'm trying, 我也努力过了but all I feel is this gnawing, empty sensation in my gut. 但我只感到满腹纠结和莫名的空虚I had that once. 我也曾有过这种感觉Turned out it was a tapeworm. 后来发现是我肚子长了绦虫Cool. Uh... 好吧...It's just...it's hard talking to my other friends about this, 只是... 这种事很难跟其他朋友聊but I knew you would understand. 但我想你可以理解我Why is that? 为什么Because you and I are both alone, 因为你和我都是单身狗which is actually kind of comforting, 想想还真是抚慰人心because at least we can be alone together. 至少我们单着的路上有个伴Mm. This is-this is awkward. 这真是太尴尬了I, um, I was actually gonna close up a little early tonight 我今晚本来打算提早关店'cause I have a date. 因为我要去约会Really? 真的吗Y eah. 真的Forgive me if I'm having trouble being happy for you. 请原谅我无法为你感到开心Don't be silly, I'm loving your pain. 傻瓜痛在你身乐在我心Is this how our marriage is going to be? 这会是我俩结婚以后的状态吗Sometimes people will be more interested 有时候人们会更愿意和她说话in talking to her than to me? 而不是和我说话吗Are you sitting in a bathroom? 你现在人在厕所吗Y es. 是的I needed a place to storm off to 我需要一个能让我摔门冲入的地方and it was all that was available.这里是唯一可以的地方Fine. 好吧But if I hear a flush, this conversation is over. 但如果有冲马桶的声音谈话就结束了Those people were in the presence of a world-classmind,这些人都有着世界级水准的智慧and all they wanted to talk about was their ownnonsense.而他们却只想聊那些无聊废话Can you see the irony in that statement? 你能听出其中的讽刺意味吗How about now? 听出来没How about now? 现在呢I'll wait. 我会等待的Surprise. 惊喜Oh, crap, is it our anniversary? 糟了今天是我们的纪念日吗No. Wait. 不等一下No. No. 不不是All right, so what are we celebrating? 好吧那我们到底是庆祝什么事Well, you know, Bernadette and Howard are pregnantagain,你知道博纳黛特和霍华德又怀孕了and Amy and Sheldon are getting married.艾米和谢尔顿也要结婚了I didn't want you to feel left out. 我不想让你感到受冷落Ah. Left out? 什么受冷落吗Well, Bernadette has to grow a baby inside of her, 博纳黛特肚子里要长一个小宝宝and Amy has to marry one. 艾米马上要嫁给另一个小宝宝My life is great. 我的人生非常圆满So do you not want the cake? 所以你不想吃这蛋糕了吗Try and take it away, see what happens. 你把它端走试试看你怎么死Oh, crap, it is our anniversary. 糟了今天真是我们结婚纪念日Happy anniversary! 结婚纪念日快乐Amy. 艾米There's something I need to say to you. 有些事我要告诉你I'm listening. 我听着呢I've been thinking about the A vengers. 我一直在想复仇者联盟I believe that. 我相信But I don't think that's something you needed to say tome.但我觉得这没什么好跟我说的I realized that Iron Man is great. 我意识到钢铁侠超屌And also, that Captain America is great. 但同时美国队长也很不错And sometimes, Iron Man is in a Captain America movie, 有时钢铁侠还会出现在美国队长的电影里and he's not mad it's not an Iron Man movie. 他也不会因为这不是钢铁侠电影而生气Y ou know, he can fly in, give the audience a thrill, 他只是帅气飞来让观众热血沸腾and then fly away. 然后再霸气飞走And that should've been me tonight. 我今夜就应该那么做I should've been the delightful cameo in your movie. 我应该当你电影中的讨喜配角Thank you, Sheldon. 谢谢你谢尔顿Instead, I was like the Hulk, and I... 相反的我表现得像暴怒的绿巨人一样...Okay, please stop talking about the A vengers. 够了请不要再提复仇者联盟了Anyway. 总而言之I'm proud of you. 我为你骄傲And I'm going to try to do a better job 我以后会尽量学习分享目光焦点of sharing the spotlight because we're a team. 因为我们是同一个队的Y ou know? Much like t-the Dodgers. 你懂吗我们就像是棒球道奇队的球员If they had superpowers, and fought crime. 如果他们有超能力会打击犯罪And Thor was in them. 而且雷神索尔也在里面Sheldon, I know this isn't easy, 谢尔顿我知道这很不容易but you'll have a whole lifetime to practice. 但你会有一辈子来慢慢练习I-It could take that long, I'm really bad at it. 也许真的需要这么久我对此非常不在行Y ou know, maybe, um, 也许...I should start right now, and go back to Pasadena 我该从现在开始赶紧回帕萨迪纳and let you have this experience to yourself. 让你好好享受这一切Y ou just want to go back 你就是想回到那个'cause that's where everybody makes a fuss over you. 大家都稀罕你的地方吧Y ou know, your colleagues are right, you are brilliant. 你的同事说得对你真是冰雪聪明3个月后Hello. 你们好呀‭H e y. ‭A my, welcome back. 艾米欢迎回来Oh, l-let me see the ring. 让我看看订婚戒指Ooh, nice. 美死了H-Hey, her eyes are up there. 喂喂别乱看呀I-Is that the woman who kissed Sheldon? 那就是亲了谢尔顿的女人吗- Uh... Could be. - Hard to say. Tell us about Princeton. -有可能-很难说跟我们说说普林斯顿的事Excuse me for a minute. 等我一下Not-- well, we'll catch up later. 不我们待会再聊吧This is going to be the biggest smackdown 这将是自从我的阿姨在家族聚会上since my Aunt Noopur showed up at the family reunion 和我•表姐穿了同样的沙丽之后wearing the same sari as my cousin Sruti. 最大的一次撕逼大战了Dr. Nowitzki? 诺维茨基博士Dr. Fowler. Um, hello. 福勒博士你好Thank you. Thank you so much. 谢谢我衷心谢谢你全家第2集Maybe you should offer it to the pregnant lady. E02或许你该让给怀孕的那位女士And that would be... 那位女士是...Me, Sheldon. 我啊谢尔顿I'm obviously pregnant. 我孕相多明显啊Well, you never said it to my face. 因为你还没当面跟我说过And the last time I assumed a woman was pregnant, 我上一次想当然地认为一名女士怀孕时it did not go over well.结果还挺糟糕的Y eah, I'm still mad at you. 是的我还在生你气呢Y ou were drinking water instead of wine. 你这酒鬼当时居然在喝白开水What was I supposed to think? 我这么想有错吗Sheldon's right. 谢尔顿说得对I would never ask a woman if she was pregnant, 我永远不会问一个女士是不是怀孕unless she tells me or I see a human being 除非是她告诉我或是我看到有人类wiggling out of her. 从她下面被拉出来Well, Sheldon, I'm pregnant. 谢尔顿我怀孕了Congratulations. How far along are you? 恭喜你啊怀孕多久了About three months. 大概三个月吧Only three? 才三个月吗Good gravy, how many babies are in there? 天啊你肚子里是装的是几胞胎啊Okay, let's talk about something 够啦咱们来聊一些that won't infuriate my pregnant wife. 不会让我的孕妻暴怒的话题吧I read an interesting fact about elephants. 我读了一个有关大象的有趣知识Try again. 再换一个Oh, I've got something. 我想到啦I'm being interviewed on public radio this Friday. 这周五我要接受电台访谈啦Oh, cool. How come? 厉害为什么呢Uh, the university is trying to get more funding 大学希望物理系能获得for the physics department, 更多研究资金so they want me to go out and talk it up. 所以就派我出马啊Really? Y ou? 真的吗派你啊Well, they picked the right person for the job. 那他们还真是请对人了Thank you. 真是谢谢啊I think he bought it. 我觉得他信了Hi, I'm Ira Flatow, and this is Science Friday. 欢迎收听《科学星期五》我是艾拉·菲莱知名电台主持人曾在第本剧7季第10集客串过Joining me today is my guest physicist, Dr. Leonard 今天的嘉宾是物理学家莱纳德·霍夫Hofstadter, 斯塔德to talk about all of the exciting research 他要来跟我们聊他在加州理工they're doing at Cal Tech. 所做的那些激动人心的研究Thank you for having me. Whoa... 感谢贵节目给我这个机会...Could never get used to hearing myself in headphones. 还是没办法习惯在耳机里听到自己的声音Is that really how I sound? 我的声音听起来真是这样吗It is. It is. 是的真是That is good to know. 很高兴知道这点I told him his voice was annoying. 我跟他说过他的声音很惹人厌He didn't want to listen. 他就是不听Hey. 喂Y ou're saying it's not? 难道你觉得不烦人吗Just... hey. 就... 喂...So, it has been five years 所以打从五年前since the discovery of the Higgs boson-- 希格斯玻色子被证实存在后what's the next big thing gonna be? 您觉得下一个科学界大事是什么Wow, that's hard to say. 这很难说啊There's so much going on. 有太多大事在发生了We've been collecting tons of data 我们一直在搜集大量的数据that could revolutionize the way we understand the universe. 而这数据有可能颠覆我们对宇宙的理解For instance, there's a particle called a squark, 比如说有个粒子叫超对称性夸克which could prove supersymmetry. 它能证明超对称性That is interesting. Have you found it? 有意思那你们找到了吗- What, the squark? - Y es. -什么那个夸克吗-对啊No, no. 没还没Wouldn't that be exciting? 找到了就神作了But we're also looking for the selectron, 但我们也在试着找出超电子the gluino and the neutralino.胶微子与超中微子都是理论物理学家提出的物理模型中假想的一些粒子\N基本没有切实的实验依据很可能并不存在- Well, and have you found that? - No. -那找到那些了吗-没有Another fun sidenote-- 插个有趣小故事I went to high school with a girl named Theresa Gluino,我我有个高中同学名叫特丽莎·胶微子but it didn't cost $2 billion to find her. 但要找到她并不需要花二十亿She was smoking behind the gym. 她总躲在体育馆后面抽着烟So, what have you found? 那你们发现了什么Uh, nothing, actually.其实什么都没发现Should he be saying that? 他可以说这话吗Uh, probably not. 应该不可以。

生活大爆炸第三季S3E5 中英文对照剧本

你当时不在小食店 You had left the refreshment stand 你去解决习惯性提前出现的尿急了 In order to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination. 就因为这个 Oh,so that's how it works? 就因为我的膀胱小我就不能有漂亮女友了 I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend? 对拉杰就因为这个 Yeah,Raj. That's how it works. 靠 Damn. 能给我张纸巾吗 Can I have a napkin? 抱歉不行 I'm sorry,no. 你有好几张呢 But you have whole bunch of 'em. 对我现在用的是四张纸巾体系 Yes,I've moved to a four-napkin system. 分别对应腿手脸和个人紧急情况 Lap,hands,face and personal emergency. 你需要的话明天开始 If you like,starting tomorrow, 我会加一张客用纸巾 I'll add a guest napkin, 但我今天实在无能为力 But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you today. 好运那是擦脸纸巾 Good luck. That's the face napkin. 你跟佩妮说了吗 So,have you talked to Penny yet? 还没有 No,I haven't. 为什么 Why not? 因为我很忙 Because I've been busy, 因为我不知道怎么跟她提 Because I haven't figured out a way to bring it up, 最主要的是 "特别强调这点" And mostly-- and I can't stress how key this is-因为我不想提 Because I don't want to.

生活大爆炸第三季(美剧)

基本信息中文名: 生活大爆炸[1]第三季美剧《生活大爆炸第三季》海报酷优网提供英文名称: The Big Bang Theory Season3版本: [双语字幕][][RMVB+HR-HDTV]电视台: 美国CBS电视台首播时间: 2009年演员: Johnny Galecki ... Leonard Hofstadter (18 episodes, 2007-2008)Jim Parsons ... Sheldon Cooper (18 episodes, 2007-2008)Kaley Cuoco ... Penny (18 episodes,2007-2008)Simon Helberg ... Howard Wolowitz (18 episodes, 2007-2008)Kunal Nayyar ... Rajnesh Koothrappali / ... (18 episodes, 2007-2008)地区: 美国语言: 英语剧情介绍（译自CBS官方新闻发布稿）这是一部以"科学天才" 为背景的情景喜剧，这倒非常罕见。

主人公Leonard (Johnny Galecki,生活大爆炸第三季剧照(5张) "Roseanne") 和Sheldon (Jim Parsons "Judging Amy")是一对好朋友，他们的智商绝对高人一等，因为他们对量子物理学理论可以倒背如流，无论你问他们什么问题，都难不倒他们。

但是说到日常生活，这两个不修边幅的男孩就彻底没了脾气－－生活中柴米油盐这些看似简单的事情，却让他们有迷失在太空里一样的感觉，他们所掌握的那些科学原理在这里根本没有用武之地。

直到有一天……隔壁搬来一位美貌性感的女孩Penny (Kaley Cuoco, "8 SimpleRules...")，顿时吸引了两人的目光。

生活大爆炸第三季剧本(英文版)S3E6

Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E06 – The Cornhusker VortexScene: The stairwell. The guys are carrying kites.Leonard: Kites, ho!Howard: Kites ho!Raj: Kites ho!All three: Kites, ho!Sheldon: Excuse me. You’re misusing the word ho. It’s an interjection used to call attention to a destination, not an object, as in, uh, Land, ho! Or, uh, Westward, ho!The three guys: Kites, ho!Penny: Hey, guys. What you doing? Going out to discover electricity?Sheldon:If you’re referring to the work of Benjamin Franklin, he did not discover electricity, he merely used a kite to determine that lightning consists of electricity. He also invented the Franklin stove, bifocals and the flexible urinary catheter. Kites, ho.Leonard: We’re heading out for some kite fighting. Penny: Kite fighting?Leonard:Oh, yeah. It’s an extremely competitive, cutthroat sport.Sheldon: Well, actually, the risk of throat cutting is very low. On the other hand, severe string burn is a real and ever-Present danger.Leonard: You want to come watch?Penny: Oh, gee, sounds amazing, but, um, I’ve got some friends coming over. Not a big thing, we’re just gonna watch the Nebraska game.Leonard: Oh. Football, sure.Howard: Good guess.Penny:I would’ve invited you, but I know you’re not a football fan.Leonard: No, no, I’m not, so, great. You’ve got plans doing something you like, I’ve got plans doing something I like, so it’s good.Penny:Well, maybe we’ll hang out later, you know, after everybody’s gone.Leonard: Yeah, great.Penny: See ya.Leonard: Well, this sucks.Sheldon:I’m sorry, I got bored and drifted off. Where exactly in the interaction did the sucking lie? Raj:Leonard just realized that Penny’s been hiding him from her friends because he’s a tiny, little man who flies kites.Sheldon: Oh, that certainly would suck.Credits sequence.Scene: The park.Sheldon: Wolowitz is trying to outflank us. Let out some string, add altitude and I’ll go under and cut his line.Leonard: Why wouldn’t Penny want her friends to meet me?Sheldon: Focus, Leonard, focus! The heat of battle is upon us, the dogs of war are unleashed. Leonard: Maybe Koothrappali’s right, maybe I embarrass her.Sheldon: You’re embarrassing me right now, a grown man worrying about such nonsense when in the middle of flying kites.Leonard: Sorry.Sheldon: Sorry won’t bring their kites down. Ow! String burn! String burn!Raj: Oh, they think we’re flanking, they’re playing right into our hands. On the count of three, we execute the flying scissor. One, two…Howard: Whoa! Did you see that?Raj: See what?Howard: That chick, she smiled at me.Raj: No, she didn’t.Howard: Yes, she did.Raj: Come on, scissors, scissors!Howard: Hold my line.Raj:Wait, what are you doing? I can’t scissors by myself! Howard! Come back!Sheldon: Victory!Raj: Son of a bitch.Scene: Leonard’s car.Raj: You’re a sucky friend, you know that? A sucky, sucky friend.Howard: What was I supposed to do? She gave me that come-hither look.Raj: If she gave you any look at l. It was a you suck look.Howard: I would’ve caught up to her if I hadn’t pulled a hammy.Raj:Oh, please, you weigh 80 pounds. You don’t have a hammy.Leonard: So, Penny doesn’t want me around her friends, I embarrass her. What else could it be? Sheldon: Well, her actions could be out of concern for your f eelings. Perhaps she’s excluded you from these gatherings because she’s scouting for a new mate and doesn’t want to do it in front of you. Leonard: Oh, how kind of her.Sheldon:Agreed. Most primates don’t show that sort of discretion. A female bonobo will copulate with a new male in front of the old one without so much as a how do you do?Raj: You always do this, you know? You ditch me for a woman you don’t have a shot with. Howard: I totally had a shot.Raj: With a woman you were chasing through a park? T hat’s not a shot, that’s a felony. What’s worse, it cost me my prized Patang fighting kite. Sheldon, I don’t suppose there’s any chance you could give me my kite back?Sheldon:I’m sorry, Raj, but the rules of aerial warfare dictate at the fallen kite go to the victor. And without rules, the competition has no meaning. And without meaning, the following would be an empty gesture. (Sings) I have your kite. I have your kite.Scene: Penny’s apartment.Leonard: Hey.Penny: Hi.Leonard: How was your football party?Penny: I t was pretty good. We won.Leonard:Oh, that’s excellent. It’s a weird figure of speech, isn’t it, we won when you weren’tactually playing. When we watch Star Wars, we don’t say, we defeated the Empire.Penny:I’m glad to hear it.Leonard: Oh, hey, on a related subject, are you embarrassed to have me around your friends? Penny: Oh, my god, no. Why would you ask that? Leonard:Well, you know, I just noticed I haven’t really met any of them.Penny: Sure you have.Leonard:Well, yeah, no, I met the huge ex-boyfriend and the smaller yet still larger than me ex-boyfriend. Were they here today?Penny: Of course not.Leonard: Of course not. Why would they be? Why would I ask? Why am I rambling? Why don’t you stop me?Penny:Leonard, look, if you want to meet my friends, that would be great. I just, you know, I didn’t want you to be bored.Leonard: I wouldn’t be bored. Why would I be bored?Penny: Well, ’cause they’re not genius scientists. Leonard: Penny, I like all sorts of people. In fact, some of my best friends aren’t geniuses.Penny: Like who?Leonard: Okay, some of my Facebook friends aren’t geniuses. My point is, if we’re going to be a couple, I should be friends with your friends. Penny: Okay, great. Well, then why don’t you come over next Saturday and watch the game with us. Leonard: Another football game?Penny: They have them every week.Leonard: Did not know that.Penny: You wanted to meet my friends. Leonard: Sure, sure, just I don’t know much about football.Penny: Oh, that’s okay, a lot of the guys’ girlfriends don’t know football. They just kind of drink and talk in the kitchen.Leonard: Great.Scene: The apartment. Leonard and Raj are watching a football game on the television. Leonard: Okay, a complete pass. First down, New England. I think I’m starting to get this.Raj: Really? The only thing I’ve learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections. Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.Raj: I’m just sa ying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help. Howard (arriving): Raj, what are you doing here? You were supposed to help me pimp out my Vespa. Raj:I’m sorry, are you u nder the impression that we’re still friends?Howard: Oh come on, you’re not still grinding on the kite thing, are you?Raj:It’s not just the kite thing. Every time we go some place, you think you can just dump me whenever someone prettier comes along, even though you don’t have a shot with them.Howard: But I had a shot with that jogger.Raj: Fine. Paint green flames on your little scooter with her. (Leaves)Howard: It’s not a little scooter. It’s the second biggest Vespa they make! Are you watching football?Leonard:There’s no fooling you. Now, what is this sacks statistic they put up there?Howard: All I know about Saks is, my mother shops there.Leonard: Sacks, sacks…Sheldon:It’s football nomenclature for when a quarterback is tackled behind the line of scrimmage.Leonard:Huh… Scrimmage…Sheldon:The line of scrimmage is the imaginary transverse line separating the offence from the defence.Leonard: Oh.Howard: Sheldon knows football?Leonard: Apparently.Howard: I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football? Leonard: Sheldon, how do you know this stuff? Sheldon: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, peewee football, in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a Commie plot. Leonard: Unbelievable.Sheldon:If you’re interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn’t chicken as if it were chicken. Leonard: So you could teach me?Sheldon: Football or chicken-fried meats? Leonard: Football. I’m going to Penny’s on Saturday to watch a game with her friends and I don’t want to look like an idiot. I want to blend in. Sheldon: I f you want to blend in with Penny’s friends, I’d think looking like an idiot would be the perfect camouflage.Leonard: Come on, Sheldon, please teach me about football. It’ll be fun.Sheldon: That’s exactly what my father said. Come to the games, watch the games, week in and week out from the time I was five until I went off to college. Longest seven years of my life. Leonard: Please, I’m asking you as a friend. Sheldon: Are you making this a tier one friendship request? Leonard: Yes.Sheldon: Fine.Leonard: I really appreciate this.Sheldon: Yeah, yeah. All right, Poindexter, sit down, shut up and listen.Leonard:I’m sorry?Sheldon: That’s how my father always began our football conversations. And if you’d like, after the game, I’ll take you outside and teach you how to shoot close enough to a racoon that it craps itself.Scene: The kitchen. Sheldon is making toast in a cylon toaster which burns an image of a cylon onto the toast.Leonard: When are you going to stop making Cylon toast?Sheldon: When I have enough to destroy all the human toast on the battlestar known as Galactica. Is that what you’re wearing to watch football at Penny’s?Leonard: What’s wrong with a football jersey? Sheldon: Nothing. That, however, appears to be a football cocktail dress.Leonard:I’s the smallest size they had, except the one for dogs. I can’t believe they had one for dogs. Sheldon: Oh, yes. Canine football fans are a common sight in Texas. Cats, however, refuse to wear sporting apparel. My sister found that out the hard way.Leonard: Anyway, wish me luck.Sheldon: Leonard, wait. Am I correct in assuming that your attempt to be a ccepted by Penny’s peers is based on your desire to ensure your continuing mating privileges with her?Leonard:Well, I wouldn’t put it exactly that way. Sheldon: How would you put it?Leonard: Y eah, okay, like you said.Sheldon: Huh. Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don’t you have access to women who will do it for money? By the way, another accepted usage for the term ho. Leonard: Good-Bye, Sheldon.Sheldon: Hold on I believe that social convention dictate you not arrive empty-Handed. Would you like to bring some Cylon toast?Leonard:Yeah, no, I’m trying to fit in, not get laughed at.Sheldon:What’s funny about Cylon toast?Scene: Raj’s apartment. Raj is watching a Bollywood movie. There is a knock on the door. Raj: It’s open.Howard: Hey, pal.Raj: What do you want?Howard: I brought you a little gift. New kite.Raj: The kite you made me lose was an authentic Patang, an Indian fighting kite that my brother sent to me from New Delhi. It took me a day to put together and two days to paint. This is Hello Kitty. Howard: Yeah, but it comes with a little coin purse. Does a Patang?Raj: Wow, you just don’t get it, do you? Buying me something pretty isn’t going to make our problem just go away.Howard: Look, I admit I haven’t alw ays been the best friend I could be.Raj: You’ve been a sucky friend, a sucky, sucky friend.Howard: Stipulated.Raj: And you do it all the time. Last week in the mall at Radio Shack, we were looking for a phone with giant numbers for your mother, and I suddenly realize you’re not even there.Howard: I know, I know.Raj: And where were you?Howard: Getting shot down by the girl at Hot Dog on a Stick. But in my defence, she was gorgeous, and working that squeezer to make the lemonade, going up and down and up and down. It was like a free pole dance right in the middle of the food court. Raj:You’re impossible.Howard: Hey, at least I can talk to women without being drunk.Raj: Excuse me, I have selective mutism, a recognized medical disorder. You’re just a do uche. Howard: No. You know what? Maybe that’s what this whole thing’s about. You’re not mad at me, you’re mad at yourself.Raj:No, I’m mad at you. I hate myself, but I’m mad at you.Howard: Fine. You’re mad at me. I get it. Now, how about we go spend the day together? Just the two of us. We’ll go anywhere you want.Raj: I don’t know.Howard: Come on. Let me take you someplace nice. Raj:I… I do enjoy the La Brea Tar Pits.Howard: Really, now? With the traffic and the parking, it’s… okay, fine. The Tar Pits. Let’s go. Raj: Oh, why can’t I stay mad at you?Scene: Penny’s apartment. Everyone is watching football.Leonard: Go! Go! Go! Go-Go-Go-Go! Yes! Are you people watching this? Is this amazing or what? Penny:Sweetie, that’s a highlight from the ’98 championship game.Leonard: Oh. Did not know that.Penny: How much beer have you had? Leonard: None, why?Penny: Oh. I was just kind of hoping you were drunk. Now we’re back live.Leonard: Okay, yeah. I can see the difference. Guy in baseball hat:Oh, where’s the flag, that’s intentional grounding.Second guy: Totally.Leonard: That completely was a forward pass, which they threw intentionally incomplete to avoid loss of yardage or to conserve time. I can’t believe they’re not being penalized with the loss of a d own and by having to move the line of scrimmage back to the spot of the foul.Penny: Here, have some pizza, sweetie. Leonard: Penny, you know I’m lactose intolerant. Penny: I know. I just need you stop talking. Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny.(Knock, knock, knock) Penny.Penny: Sheldon, come in.Sheldon: Thank you. I’d like to make a sandwich, but I’m out of bread.Penny: There’s some in the fridge.Sheldon:You shouldn’t keep your bread in the refrigerator. Staleness is caused by crystallization of the starch molecules, which occurs faster at cool temperatures.Penny: On Earth, we say thank you.Sheldon: So Leonard, how goes the mimesis? Leonard: Mimesis?Sheldon: You know. Mimesis. An action in which the mimic takes on the properties of a specific object or organism. Mimesis.Leonard: What the hell are you talking about? Sheldon: I’m attempting to communicate with youwithout my meaning becoming apparent to those around you. Let me try again. Have the indigenous fauna accepted you as one of their own? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.Leonard: Oh, I guess so.Sheldon: Good. Oh, FYI. After I eat my sandwich, I’m taking Koothrappali’s Patang kite out for a test run. Would you like to get your delta-wing raptor and join me?Leonard: I don’t want to fly kites, Sheldon. We’re watching football here.Sheldon: I can see that. I was providing you with an alternative. A courtesy I was never offered in similar circumstances.Leonard:Oh, look at that. The Oklahoma coach has thrown down a red flag indicating he’s challenging the ruling on the field. I hope he’s right, ’cause if he’s not, it’ll cost him one of his three time-Outs.Penny: You know, Leonard, honey, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to go fly kites with Sheldon. Leonard: No, I’ll watch the end of the game. Besides, there’s only three minutes left.Penny: Until half time.Leonard: This is just half? We’ve been here for hours.Penny: And you’re gonna be here for a couple more.Leonard:Oh, you’re kidding me.Penny: No.Leonard: Nice meeting all of you.Penny: So, yeah, anyway, that’s my boyfriend. He is really smart.Scene: The Le Brea Tar Pits.Raj: I really like my saber-toothed cat. Thank you. Howard: My pleasure. Maybe after lunch, we can go to Marie Callender’s and have some pie.Raj: I’d like that. This is turning out to be a perfect Saturday.Howard: Good. I’m glad. Oh, man. Did you see the way she smiled at me?Raj: Fine. Go ahead.Howard: No. This is our day.Raj: If you want to chase after her, chase after her. Howard: Ah, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t have a shot with a girl like that.Raj:Don’t put yourself down. You’re a very attractive man.Howard: You think so?Raj: Yeah. Absolutely. It wouldn’t kill you to take a Pilates class with me now and then, but you have a certain wiry appeal.Howard:Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter ‘cause she wasn’t really smiling at me.Raj: Actually, in this case, I think she was. Howard: Really?Raj: Yeah.Howard: Bye.Raj: What a douche.。

生活大爆炸中英文字幕s3e03

syrup: 糖浆 cinnamon: 肉桂皮 sugar: 糖
好，谁要糖浆？谁要肉桂糖?
-Sheldon: I want oatmeal.
我要麦片。
-Penny: Yes, well, I want a boyfriend.
嗯，我想要个。
whose roommate isn't a giant pain in the ass.
giant: 巨大的 pain in the ass: 眼中钉
室友不那么讨人嫌的男朋友。
-Sheldon: I'm sure that will happen soon enough.
我确定你很快就会有的。
But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal.
我明白了。
Did her abysmal housekeeping skills
abysmal: 深不可测的，糟糕的 housekeeping: 家政，家务管理 skill: 技能，能力
是不是她可怕的家务能力，
finally trump her perkiness?
finally: 最终 perkiness: 【意气洋洋的状态】
普通身材的人也不会引起结构损坏。
much less a homunculus such as yourself.
homunculus: 矮人，侏儒
更不用说像你这样的雏形人。
-Penny: A homunculus?
雏形人?
-Leonard: Perfectly formed miniature human being.
自养生物来起哄，穴居人发明工具。

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一切都好Okay-dokay.每次看这部电影我都很困惑This movie baffles me every time we watch it. 什么意思What do you mean?指南说得一清二楚The instructions are very clear:午夜后别喂魔怪"don't feed the gremlins after midnight."别弄湿魔怪"don't get the gremlins wet."这能有多难How hard is that?伙计们好啊Hi,guys.好啊亲爱的Hi,honey.好Hey.都已经是"亲爱的"啦Ooh,we're "honey" now,are we?对自从他们发展至肉体关系Yes. Since their relationship become carnal,佩妮就升级了对他的爱称Penny has upgraded his designated term of endearment,跟她称为"甜心"的人区分Thus distinguishing him from those she calls "sweetie,"通常为了略微消减隐含的讽刺之意Usually in an attempt to soften a thinly-veiled insult.别这么无聊"甜心"You're boring people,"sweetie".但有时她就是赤裸裸的讽刺Although,sometimes,she omits the veil entirely.你们在干什么So,what are you guys doing?庆祝哥伦布发现美洲纪念日Celebrating Columbus day.我们在看《七宝奇谋》《小魔怪》《少年福尔摩斯》We're watching goonies,gremlins and young sherlock holmes. 都是克里斯·哥伦布的作品They're all written by Chris Columbus.好啊Okay.那你们感恩节看什么What do you watch on thanksgiving?游行The parade.这倒是提醒了我Oh,you know,that reminds me--我通常回内布拉斯加过感恩节I usually go back to Nebraska for thanksgiving, 但今年取消了But this year they're calling it off,因为我哥哥被人告了On account of my brother's trial.为什么What's he on trial for?只是个误会Oh,just a big misunderstanding.你应该会喜欢我哥哥You know,you'd actually like my brother.他也算是个化学家He's kind of a chemist.既然我今年在这里过感恩节Anyway,I was thinking I'd have thanksgiving here,你们都要来And you are all invited.我会去的Oh. I'll be there.你是用蔓越橘果冻Will you be serving cranberry jelly还是蔓越橘酱招待客人Or cranberry sauce?估计两个都有I guess I could serve both.估计貌似你对这方面不在行You guess? You don't seem to have much of a handle on this. 佩妮我很想参加但每年Yeah,I really wish I could,Penny,but every year,我妈都请所有亲戚过来My mother has all the relatives over and cooks up做传说中的鸡胸鱼Her famous tur-briska-fil.鸡脯鱼?Tur-briska-fil?火鸡包胸脯肉杂胸脯肉里包鱼丸Turkey stuffed with a brisket stuffed with gefilte fish.没听起来那么好吃It's not as good as it sounds.拉杰你呢Raj,what about you?他通常都去我家过节对吧Oh,he usually comes to my house. Right,pal?好啦今年不逼你All right,this year,you don't have to吃鸡脯鱼啦Eat the tur-briska-fil.我根本不嚼I don't even chew it.直接当药丸吞I swallow it like pills.拉杰怎么了So,what's going on with Raj?好消息是Well,the good news is,我对我妈的鸡脯鱼没意见He has no problem with my mother's tur-brka-fil. 真不敢相信继续说Hard to believe,but go on.坏消息是他要被驱逐出境了The bad news is,he says he'getting deported.他要被驱逐出境What do you mean,是什么意思He's getting deported?意思是美国政府I believe it means that the U.S. Government要驱赶他离开本国Is going to expel him from the country.他要么回印度老家He could then either return to his native india,要么移居接受他的国家Emigrate to another country that's willing to accept him, 或者去公海当个无国籍海盗Or wander the high seas as a stateless pirate.要是我我就选海盗Personally,I'd choose pirate.佩妮你能不能先出去Penny,would you mind stepping outside我们才能和他谈谈So we can speak to him?Fine.但他也该改改不敢跟女生说话的毛病了But the man really needs to work on his girl issues.这也是考虑做海盗的理由Another reason to consider life of piracy.即使是今天海盗仍是男性职业Even today,I unrstand that's an all-male profession.好了她走了Okay,she's go.对不起我失态了Sorry. I lost my cool.怎么回事So,what's going on?事情是这样的Okay,here's the deal:六个月前我的实验Six months ago,my research testing测试海王星物体的成分The predicted composition of trans-neptunian objects 宣告失败Ran into a dead end.So?我的签证只有在大学任聘才有用So,my visa's only good as long as i employ to the university. 如果他们发现我的实验一无所获And when they find out that I've got squat,他们就会裁掉我They're going to cut me off.而且我说的一无所获是一丁点都没有By the way,when I say squat,I mean diddly-squat.我倒是希望有那么一丁点收获I wish I had squat.等等那你过去6个月都在做什么So,wait,what have you been doing for the past six months? 收收邮件啦You know,checking e-mail,更新FACEBOOK页面啦Updating my facebook status,搞搞维基词条啦Messing up wikipedia entries.你们知道吗Hey,do you know netflixNETFLIX现在允许客户端下载电影了Lets you stream movies on your computer now?这么说你一直都拿大学的薪水And you've continued to take the university's money 蒙混过日子Under false pretenses?你这个天体物理学家也太没职业道德了Highly unethical for an astrophysicist.不过倒是很适合海盗Although practically mandatory for a pirate.我不想回印度I don't want to go back to india.印度又热又吵人又多It's hot and loud,and there's so many people.你们不知道到处都是人You have no idea-- they're everywhere.伙计们动动脑子Okay,guys,think.怎么才能让拉杰留下来How do we keep Raj in the country?另找一份工作不就行了Why doesn't he just get another job?你问我有什么用What are you asking me for?我哪知道你能不能说话I don't know if you can talk now or not. 牛肉Oh,beef...我会很想念你的I'm going to miss you so much.知道吗孟买的麦当劳Do you know,at the mumbai Mcdonald's, 没有巨无霸You can't get a big mac?只有鸡肉大君麦香堡All you can get is a chicken maharaja mac. 而特制酱料And the special sauce--咖喱相信我在印度Curry-- which,in india,believe you me,咖喱一点也不特别Is really not that special.别担心能找到工作的Don't worry,you'll find another job.我先练习一下Yeah,let me start practicing for it."要薯条和大君麦香堡吗""do you want fries with maharaja mac?"好啊莱纳德Hi,Leonard.好啊拉杰Hello,Raj.你好谢尔顿Hello，Sheldon.不好意思虽然我还不善长解读面部表情Forgive me,as you know,I'm no adept at reading facial cues, 但我想试一试But I'm going to take a stab here:你不是在伤心就是在反胃中You're either sad or nauseated.-我是伤心-我正准备说伤心的- I'm sad. - I was going to say sad.不知道怎么的我犹豫了I don't know why I hedged.你在吃什么What are you eating?曲管通心粉配牛肉酱和番茄酱Elbow macaroni with ground hamburger and tomato sauce. 噢牛肉通心粉Oh,beefaroni.我最怀念的就会是你了I think I'll miss you most of all.我一直对这事儿有些疑惑I've always been a little confused about this.为什么印度教不准吃牛肉Why don't hindus eat beef?我们相信牛就是神We believe cows are gods.学术上说并不准确Not technically.在印度教中牛被认为长的像神In hinduism,cattle are thought to be like god.不需要你教我自家的文化谢尔顿Do not tell me about my own culture,Sheldon!就我现在的心情老子会揪你出去的In the mood I'm in,I'll take you out--我向牛发誓I swear to cow!对不起I'm sorry.我也是Me,too.我只是我有点激动了I'm just... I'm a little on edge.可以理解Understandle.你的整个人生仿佛崩溃了Your entire life seems to be crumbling around you, 你的未来充其量也只能说惨淡无光And your future appears bleak at best.谢谢Thank you.而且你在印度教和牛的问题上是错的And you're wrong about hinduism and cows.拉杰你猜怎么着Hey,Raj,guess what.拉夫林教授正招募人员加入Professor Laughlin is looking for someone to join 恒星进化科研小组The stellar evolution research team.真的吗那太棒了You-you're kidding! That's fantastic!那你还在等什么打电话预约面试啊What are you waiting for? Call him and set up an interview. 现在就打I'm on it.这叫高兴对吗That's happy,right?-没错-搞定- Yeah. - Nailed it.库萨帕里博士请进Dr. Koothrappali,come on in.我很惊讶你居然想加入I was surprised to hear you were interested我们这个小团队In joining our little team.放弃那些海王星外星体了是吗Giving up on those trans-neptunian objects,are we?不不那是个很有前景的领域No,no,it's a very promising area.如果条件理想我愿意花数年在这课题上In a perfect world,I'd spend several more years on it.但我却不能放弃这个机会But I just couldn't pass up the opportunity与您共同研究这个令人无比兴奋To work with you on your tremendously exciting 且还未最终定论的假设上And not yet conclusively disproved hypothesis. 说的太精彩了Splendid.请坐Uh,please sit down.要来一杯雪利酒吗Can I offer you a Sherry?现在还为时过早不是吗It's a little early,isn't it?我们不在比邻星上[很暗的恒星意指还早]Not on Proxima Centauri.说的太好了That's very good.非常有趣但如果你不介意的话Jolly amusing,but if you don't mind,把我那杯留到泰坦星日落之时[土卫六日落晚]I'll hold off until suet on Titan.说的好Well done.我预感你将会I have a feeling you're going很好的融入这个团队的库萨帕里博士To fit in just fine,Dr. Koothrappali.谢谢称赞先生Thank you,sir.不好意思I'm sorry.我来晚了吗Am I late?不不时间正好No,no,no. Right on time.库萨帕里博士请允许我向你介绍Dr. Koothrappali,may I present来自麻省理工的麦思彤博士Dr. Millstone from MIT.她将领导我们的数据分析小组She'll be heading up our data analysis team. 很高兴认识你库萨帕里博士It's nice to meet you,Dr. Koothrappali.我读了您关于柯伊伯带物体大小分布的文章I read your paper on Kuiper Belt object size distribution. 我非常喜欢I really enjoy it.您是如何修正选择偏差的呢How did you correct for the selection bias?我进行了模拟测试Well,I ran a simulation that allowed me令我可以修正观测效率To correct for the observational efficiency.这实在是太牛了That's just fascinating.谢谢Thank you.你想在我的热水浴池里了解更多细节吗Would you like to hear more about it in my hot tub?那我们什么时候开始呢So,when do I start?你没得到工作是什么意思What do you mean you didn't get the job?你怎么可能得不到How could you not get it?你知道的他是英国人我是印度人{\c I'm indian.自甘地之后他们就对我们不大友好了Ever since Gandhi,they haven't liked us very much.等等你是说他对你有种族歧视Wait,are you saying that he discriminated against you? 因为我们应该提出控告Because we should file a complaint.可以是可以That's okay.已经有人来控告了A complaint's been filed.好了玩完了So,that's it.那是我最后的希望That was my last hope.我要被驱除出境了I'm going to be deported,狼狈地回到家里Sent home in disgrace,被我表亲桑杰冷嘲热讽Exposed to the sardonic barb of my cousin Sanjay.或许你们知道他的马甲Or,as you may know him,是AT&T的客服人员戴夫Dave from at&t customer service.我会很想你的I'm really going to miss you.你会来印度探望我吗Will you come visit me india?天那个貌似要17小时的飞机吧Gee,that's,like,a 17-hour flight.要不我们在中点相见How about I meet you halfway?中点是在离日本海岸线600英里的地方Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of japan. 干脆这样我们视频吧Tell you what,we'll Skype.先生们Gentlemen.-嗨-拉杰- Hey. - Raj,你得到了拉夫林教授的工作吗Did you get a job with Professor Laughlin?-没有-我猜也是- No. - I assumed as much.但别害怕But never fear.就像是无数的动作片里面Like the subordinate male protagonist那些次要男主角In countless action movies在影片放到一半时消失那样Who disappears half way through the second reel, 我现在回来拯救世界I have returned to save the day.奇怪了Odd.他通常都是在欢呼声中回归的Usually,he's met by cheers.不论如何我正想着探索Anyway,I was thinking about exploring超弦理论在The string theory implications暗物质湮灭时所放出的伽玛射线中的含义Of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations,我突然间发现我能利用And it occurred to me that I could benefit--打扰一下谢尔顿Excuse me,Sheldon.通常需要浪费多少卷胶片才能让次要的男主角How many reels before the subordine male protagonist 说到重点上Gets to s point?不好意思如果你没有为我的出场欢呼I'm sorry-- if you didn't cheer at my entrance,那你现在提出你的假设也为时已晚了It's too late to buy into the premise.不管怎么说我从系主任那里Anyway,I got some extra money获得了多余的资金From the head of the department,而拉杰可以来给我打工And Raj can come work for me.你想让我与你共事You want me to work with you?是给我打工For me.你今后在工作的时候You're going to have to listen必须要更仔细的听清我的话More careful when you're on the job.好吧但是可别搞错了Ay,uh,please don't take this the wrong way,我情愿在乳头上别张纸But I'd rather swim buck-naked across the Ganges 赤条条地游过恒河With a paper cut on my nipple抑或是染上病毒痛苦而挣扎着死掉And die a slow,agonizing death也不要和你一起工作From a viral infection than work with you.是为我工作For me.谢尔顿你在忙吗Sheldon,are you busy?这不废话么Of course I'm busy.那要我等你吗Shall I wait?当然了Yes,please能为你效劳吗How may I help you?我重新考虑了你提出的合作建议I've reconsidered your offer to let me work with you. 是为我工作For me是是为你工作Yes,for you.我接受但有几个条件I do,however,have a few conditions.首先任何情况下First,at all times,你都得把我看作同事平等对待I am to be treated as a colleague and an equal.其次在所有发表物上Second,my contributions shall noted都应注明我的名字和贡献In all published material.第三绝不许你在我面前And third,you are never allowed to lecture me挑剔我的印度教或印度文化On hinduism or my Indian culture.真令我感到钦佩拉杰I'm impressed,Raj.你提得条件中肯而合理Those are very cogent and reasonable conditions.谢谢Thank you.我统统拒绝I reject them all.那我就毫无选择了Then you leave me no choice.只能接受这份工作I accept the job.真抱歉我想你大概搞错了I'm sorry,I believe you've misunderstood.我才不是请你来工作I'm not giving you the job.我只是给你一个机会来应征I'm simply affording you the opportunity to apply for it. 坐下吧我们先来面试{\c we'll get started with the interview.靠你开玩笑吗Wha... You're kidding!请坐Please.好吧all right.好吧...So...你就穿这个来面试吗That's what you wear to an interview?行行好吧哥们我们可是多年的老友啊Come on,dude,we've been friends for years. 哇开始套近乎了吗Oh,pulling strings,are we?谢尔顿看在老天爷的份上别逼我求你Sheldon,for god's sakes,don't make me beg. 逗你玩!Bazinga!你是我经典实用笑话You've fallen victim的第N个受害者To another one of my classic practical jokes.我现在可是老板你敢说我的笑话不好笑?I'm your boss now. You may want to laugh at that. 二人世界的感觉真棒不是吗Ah,this is nice having the place to ourselves,isn't it? 唔唔Uh-huh.拉杰正和谢尔顿一起工作Now that raj is working for sheldon,我就不用开车载他了I don't have to chauffeur him around anymore.更重要的是他们工作到这么晚plus,yeah,with them working late so much,我们就能过二人世界了We get some privacy.嗯哼Mm-hmm.想来点儿刺激的吗Hey,want to get a little crazy?你想怎样What are you thinking?我们在谢尔顿的专座上狠狠干一场Let's slide over to sheldon's spot and make out.你可真是放荡You are a dirty girl.天啊他怎么知道Oh,god,how did he know?你们好啊Hello.嗨霍华德Hi,howard.我打扰你们了吗Am I interrupting?是有一点Little bit,yeah.我应该先打个电话来Guess I should have called.说得也是Yeah,maybe.今晚我通常都和拉杰一起Tonight's the night I usually go line dancing 去帕拉米诺跳排排舞With raj at the palomino.然后呢Uh-huh.但他现在却要和谢尔顿一起工作But he's working with sheldon.我们知道Yes,we know.要我走吗Want me to leave?也无所谓啦You know,whatever.那好我就在这消磨一会儿好了Okay,I guess I can hang for a little while.在看什么呢So what are we watching?哇欲望都市Sex and the city. Yikes.别换台我喜欢这部电影Hey,I happen to love this mie.好那就看吧Fine,let's watch it.好像我们的经期同步了哈Maybe all our periods will synchronize.好我们现在要设计一个实验All right,we're going to be designing an experiment以观察由于宇宙暗物质的碰撞To look for the annihilation spectrum而产生的光谱湮灭现象Resulting from dark matter collisions in space. 哇暗物质耶Ooh,dark matter.那我们最好带个手电筒We better bring a flashlight.开玩笑而已I was making a joke.我才是老板I'm the boss.只有我能开玩笑I make the jokes.抱歉你来吧Sorry go ahead and make your joke.现在有时间开玩笑吗This is not the time for joking.我们可是正儿八经地在做研究We're doing serious research,需要完全高度集中精神Which requires complete and utter focus.好那就全力开工吧All right,let's buckle down and work.("虎视眈眈" 电影洛奇主题曲幸存者乐队演奏) ("eye of the tiger" by survivor playing)-谢尔顿-咋了-Sheldon. -What?有脑残片么I need an aspirin.在头个抽屉里Top desk drawer.-谢了-好了吗-Thank you. -Alright?-是-很好-Yes. -Good.真是有趣That was fun.谢谢Thank you.莱纳德亲亲我们每一次嘿咻完Leonard,honey,you don't have to say thank you 你不用都说谢谢Every time we have sex.噢好Oh. Okay.明天你如果在信箱里看到张卡片Tomorrow you're going to get a card in the mail. 扔了它就是Just throw it away.两位早上好啊(爱尔兰腔)Top o' the mornin'o ya!你在这干嘛What are you doing here?平时星期天我都是和拉杰一起Well,usually,on Sundays,I go with raj去农贸市场骗骗嬉皮小妞To scam on hippie chicks at the farmers market, 但他还在谢尔顿那里工作But he's still working with sheldon,所以我想还是到这来So I thought I'd come over here给你们做一些炒鸡蛋和意大利香肠And make you guys scrambled eggs and salami. 最适合刚缠绵过的情侣It's the perfect meal for apres l'amour.噢杀了我吧Oh,kill me.顺便无意中听到你最后那猛地一下By the way,I couldn't help overhearing your big finish. 真有你的啊莱纳德Bravo,leonard.瞧如果我说杀了我的时候你杀了我See,if you had killed me when I said "kill me,"我就不会听到了I wouldn't have had to hear that.你们有何打算What do you guys think?想去看个日场演出吗Wanna take in a matinee,还是去溜旱冰Maybe go rollerblading,去上节健身踏板课程Catch a step class?-你倒是做点什么呢-好吧- Do something. - Okay.霍华德我们得谈谈Um,Howard,we need talk.好啊怎么了福尔摩斯Sure. wats up,Holmes?你得明白Uh... Please understand不是我们不想你呆在这儿That it's not that we don't want you around,但我和佩妮偶尔也需要...But Penny and I occasionally need some...独处一会儿Alone time.我明白了我当电灯泡了I-I get it,I'm the third wheel.抱歉我早该明白的Sorry,I should have seen that.我这就走I'll get out of your way.还有那些鸡蛋... 快趁热吃吧You're gonna want to eat those eggs while they're still hot. 谢谢Thank you.冰箱里还有熏鲑鱼和奶油芝士There's lox and cream cheese in the fridge.百吉饼在烤箱里我正在加热The bagels are in the oven.I was warming them up.太好了That's great.我就去跟我妈呆着好了反正一直都很好玩的I'm just going to hang out with my mother.That's always fun. 很好Good.我们是不是太坏了Are we terrible people?我不知道I don't know.那你想让我怎么办What do you want me to do?去追他吧带他回来{\c bring him back.你确定Are you sure?-对-好吧- Yeah. - Okay.霍华德回来吧Howard come back.你们还真让我担心了那么一会儿Oh,you guys had me scared for a minute.不对不对No,no,no,no!据我们对本次对撞的预测这个比率远远过低了That rate is much too low from what we'd expect from this collision. 你到底明不明白Do you understand我们在讨论的是暗物质在外层空间的对撞We're talking about Dark Matter colliding in outer space?我当然明白Of course I understand.你算哪根葱来跟我讨论外层空间And who are you to tell me about outer space?我是天体物理学家I'm the astrophysicist.天体就意味着外太空"astro" means "space"天体是指星星"astro" means "star"好吧这么跟你说吧Okay,well,let me just tell you,如果这会儿是用我的母语在跟你争论If we having this argument in my native language 我早就把你杀得片甲不留I'd be kicking your butt.英语本来就是你的母语English is your native language.好吧这个让你说对了但这边你确实错了Okay,you got me there,but you're wrong about this! 错误和幻想还是有微妙区别的There is a fine line between wrong and visionary.不幸的是想看我出错除非你做梦Unfortunately you have to be a visionary to see it. 我的天你还真以为蹦到你脑子里的My god,you think that every thought每一个想法一定都是真金不怕火炼的That comes out of your head is pure gold.我告诉你Well,let me tell you something.你有些想法它就是一堆粪球Some of those thoughts are pure caca.粪球Caca就是一坨屎It means "doo-doo."够了All right!首先库萨帕里博士First of all,Dr. Koothrappali,我当初提议你跟我共事的时候...When I first proposed that you work with me..这么说我是跟你共事咯Aha! So I am working with you.在此语境下"跟我共事"就是指"为我做事"In this context,"with me" means for me."好吧在此语境下...Ah,well,in this context...你说我错了证明给我看If I'm wrong,prove it.好吧Okay.这里我们推导出了暗物质粒子的质量Here's where we derive the mass of the Dark Matter particle. 不不No,no,no.你对它原子量的表述是错误的You've misstated the atomic weight of the target.-让我说完-你这是在毁了我的研究- Let me finish. - You're defacing my work.不对我是在修正你的研究I'm not defacing it,I'm fixing it.-把白板擦给我-不要- Give me the eraser. - No.我说了把白板擦给我I said give it to me.有本事就来拿Come and get it.好吧Fine.上帝啊Oh,lord.库萨帕里博士Dr. Koothrappali,我以你上级的身份禁止你在我的白板上写字As your superior,I forbid you from writing on my board! 你才不是我的上级You are not my superior.从各方面看我都占优势I am in every way.是吗Oh,yeah?这个你能做到吗Can you do this?很高兴与您共事Nice working with you.抱歉说错了是为您做事I'm sorry-- for you.拉杰Raj...拉杰拉杰Raj... Raj...我很忙I'm busy.忙什么Doing what?好吧你说得很清楚了All right,you've made your point. 你来干什么谢尔顿What do you want,Sheldon?我仔细看了板上的内容I looked over the board结果证明你是对的And it turns out you were right.-这么说你错了-我可没这么说- So you were wrong. - I didn't say that.这是唯一合乎逻辑的推理That's the only logical inference.尽管如此反正我没说过Nevertheless,I didn't say it.总之我想请你回来帮我做事Anyway,I would like you to come back and work for me. 是帮你做事还是跟你共事For you or with you?在此语境下"帮我做事"也指"跟我共事"In this coext "for me" could mean "with me."好吧但我有几个条件All right,but I have some conditions.-我一概拒绝-我接受这份工作- I reject them all. - I'll take the job.周一见See you Monday.等等你得载我回家Wait,you have to drive me home.-你怎么来的-走路来的- How did you get here? - I walked.-那就再走回去-不行- So walk home. - I can't.外面有条大狗...There's a big dog outside...回家路上我们可以开始想想On the way home,we can start thinking为500GeV的粒子优化探测器的办法About methods of optimizing the detector for 500 GeV particles 好吧All right.。

生活大爆炸The Big Bang Theory 第三季中英剧本 第4集

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生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E20