搞笑的英语演讲稿
英语演讲稿笑话（精选多篇）
-------------------------------------------------------精选财经经济类资料---------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇) two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, “my friend is dead! what can i do?”. th e operator says “calm down. i can help. first, let’s make sure he’s dead.” there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says “ok, now what?”简单翻译: 两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞. 乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 不接下气的说:”我的朋友死了,怎么办?.”服务人员说:”淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了.” 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:”好了,那接下来怎么办.”下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke wat son up and said: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:”抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么”乙:”我看见好多好多的星星.”甲:”如此你能推断出什么结论?”乙回答道:”嗯假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物.”甲无语:”你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷.”英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her b aby. the bus driver says: “that’s the ugliest baby that i’ve ever seen. ugh!” the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: “the driver just insulted me!” the man says: “you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i’ll hold your monkey for you.”笑话二：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.” holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?” watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”1.a boy swore to a girl: ‘honey, do -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- please marry me, otherwise i’ll die’the girl refused. sixty years later, the boy died. 一男生向一女生发誓：亲爱的，请你一定要嫁给我，不然我会死掉的女孩拒绝了。
幽默又有意义的英语演讲稿
幽默又有意义的英语演讲稿篇一：幽默的英语演讲稿英语演讲幽默开场白作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。
当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when youfinish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busyschedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowingfull well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to thinkof the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m standingup here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿
First, let's talk about the weather. You know, it's a funny thing about the weather. It's like a mischievous friend who always has a surprise up its sleeve. One minute, it's sunshine and rainbows, and the next, it's a blizzard or a heatwave. I remember one time, I was walking to work, and it was so sunny that I actually wore shorts. By the time I got to the office, it was raining cats and dogs, and I was the only one in shorts. I felt like a complete and utter idiot. But hey, at least I had a good laugh about it!
幽默英语演讲稿范文(共6篇)
篇一：幽默英语演讲稿幽默英语演讲稿love your mother爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said,and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father,why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strengthto endure childbirthand the rejectioneven from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardnessthat allows herto keep going and take careof her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．for all of this hard work,i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to usewhenever needed andit is her only weakness....when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰．she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each stepgets easier.但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松．love your mother always永远爱你的母亲，and keep her smiling并且使她微笑常在篇二：幽默英语演讲稿幽默英语演讲稿love your mother爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said,and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father,why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的... the little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strengthto endure childbirthand the rejectioneven from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardnessthat allows herto keep going and take careof her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．for all of this hard work,i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to usewhenever needed andit is her only weakness....when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good. 因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰．she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step gets easier.但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松． love your mother always永远爱你的母亲，and keep her smiling并且使她微笑常在篇三：新初中幽默英语演讲稿新初中幽默英语演讲稿love your mother爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said,and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father,why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,篇四：英语演讲幽默开场白英语演讲幽默开场白作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
大学生搞笑英文演讲稿
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed professors, fellow students,Good morning/afternoon/evening! It is an absolute pleasure to stand before you today to share with you the tale of my college experience. As the saying goes, "College is the best time of your life," and I must admit, it has indeed been an adventure filled with laughter, tears, and a whole lot of fun. So, let's dive into the world of college humor and see what makes us all chuckle!Introduction: The College LifestyleFirst and foremost, let's talk about the college lifestyle. It's a unique blend of freedom and chaos. We have the freedom to choose our classes, hang out with friends, and even stay up all night studying (or partying). However, this freedom comes with a price – the chaos. We often find ourselves in situations that we would never have imagined, and sometimes, we wish we could turn back time.The Great Debate: Coffee or Caffeine Pills?One of the most common debates among college students is the eternal question: "Coffee or caffeine pills?" Let me tell you, there is no right answer. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Coffee gives you that warm, comforting feeling, but it also makes you jittery and prone to spills. On the other hand, caffeine pills are discreet, but they can leave you feeling like you've swallowed a tiny rocket.The Art of ProcrastinationAh, procrastination – the art form that we all excel in. Whether it's putting off studying for an exam or leaving the laundry until the last possible moment, we are all guilty of this crime. We have countless excuses, from "I'll do it tomorrow" to "I'm on a deadline!" But let's be honest, sometimes we just want to watch another episode of our favorite TV show.The Great Hall of Food JudgmentsWhen it comes to food, college students have a wide range of opinions. Some of us are foodies, exploring every corner of the campus for thebest meal deals. Others are on a constant quest to find the perfect snack that won't break the bank. And let's not forget the infamous "dorm food" – a dish that can either make or break your taste buds.The Magic of TextbooksTextbooks are a college student's best friend and worst enemy. They are the source of our endless complaints and the reason why we often end up with piles of paper. We spend hours flipping through them, searching for the one page that we need, only to realize that we've alreadyhighlighted it. And let's not forget the joy of carrying around a backpack filled with textbooks – it's like a mini gym workout!The Life of a FreshmanBeing a freshman is like being a tourist in a new city. You're excited, nervous, and a little bit lost. You attend countless orientation sessions, meet new people, and try to find your place in this new world. One of the highlights of freshman year is the infamous "study group."It's where you realize that your study habits are not as effective as you thought, and you end up spending more time chatting than actually studying.The Power of All-NightersAll-nighters are a rite of passage in college. They are the times when we pull an all-nighter to finish a paper or prepare for an exam. It's during these moments that we discover our true potential, or at least, our ability to function on minimal sleep. We joke about it, but let's be honest, we wouldn't have it any other way.The Unwritten Rules of FriendshipIn college, friendships are formed in the most unusual ways. Whetherit's sharing a late-night snack, studying together, or surviving a group project, we create bonds that can last a lifetime. There are unwritten rules of friendship in college: "Never borrow money," "Always have a backup plan," and "You're only as funny as your worst joke."Conclusion: The Laughter of College LifeIn conclusion, the life of a college student is filled with laughter, tears, and countless unforgettable moments. We laugh at our own jokes, our friends' mistakes, and the absurdity of college life. It's a time when we learn to appreciate the little things, embrace the chaos, and cherish the friendships that will last a lifetime.So, let's raise our coffee cups (or caffeine pills) to the hilarious life of a college student! Here's to the laughter, the late nights, and the memories that will make us smile for years to come.Thank you for listening, and may your college years be filled with as much fun and laughter as mine have been.[Applause]。
英文三分钟搞笑演讲
英文三分钟搞笑演讲英语演讲，也可以很风趣很幽默的，想知道怎么写好英文的搞笑演讲稿吗?下面是店铺为你整理的几篇英文三分钟搞笑演讲，希望能帮到你哟。
英文三分钟搞笑演讲篇一A helping handA man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down."Is this yours?" he asked.She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty. Would you like to join me?"He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?"The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?""No," she replied, "Only those who catch my eye."英文三分钟搞笑演讲篇二Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico,the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten "monthly" stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word "love". From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love.I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?My favorite book is . Have you read it before?Oh, I haven t read this book before. What is it about?Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.Can you tell us why you love this book so much?Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.英文三分钟搞笑演讲篇三Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town."Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane."Fun flights!" the notice said, " $$ 10 for 10 minutes.Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well."I’ve only got $$ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free.""Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."。
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3分钟
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3分钟幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3分钟范文演讲技能已经变成一种基本技能，英语跟演讲结合加上幽默简直完美。
下面是店铺为你整理的幽默的`英语演讲稿内容，欢迎参考阅读。
幽默的英语演讲稿篇一The romantic love story——The film describes a love story between a harlot and a rich man. It is a fairy story about Cinderella of modern version. Being the he-ro-in-e in a fairy tale seems to be the dream of every girl since very young. All girls are looking forward to romantic love stories descending on them. The more impossible the love is going to happen, the happier the girl to be, which is definitely decided by the nature of girls. The most impressed things came to me in the film were the hero’s (Richard Gere) character. He was charming, a real confident man, so perfect, so charmi ng, however, that didn’t make you think he was conceited or he was pretend to be attractive. As a matter of fact, he is an indeed gentleman, with a natural gentle manner. His charm actually comes from his inner refinement. His personality is a great magnet to me.In the meanwhile, the difference between a rude woman and elegant women are obviously high lightened in this film, which I has paid attention to for a long time. 幽默的英语演讲稿篇二We are going to celebrate the 60th anniversary of our motheland.Being a student in China,I feel very happy and proud.With the teachers' and parents' help ,we make great progress every day.We are growing up together with our motherland.With our knowledge and ability, I am sure we will do great contribution to the country.Thank to the motherland,we are going to be stronger and stronger.The future for us must bebright and hopeful.Let's try hard for ourselves,and for our motherland as well.I hope a kid, hope full eyes jade-green grass, free of mind and happy of heart in the heart, also from had a regrets.Regardless nature of the boon grant still mankind of creation, nature give we abundant of imagination and infinite pure and endless Xia think, although they be small but solidify one heart, they mutually hold to hug to each other, under the nourish of the earth, full exertive solidify one coagulate of heart dint, also give nature one Wen Run4 of green space.幽默的英语演讲稿篇三Hello, everyone, I’m Liu Dongdong. I’m a student. There are three people in my family—my father, mother and I.My father is 40 years old. He is a worker. I think he is a good worker. Because he works very hard. He gets up very early every day and he works for more than 10 hours a day. So he is always busy, he looks very tired when he gets 小学home. He likes reading newspapers. He usually reads it after supper. So he gets lots of news.My mother is 38 years old. She is a worker too. She works in a very small factory. She is not tall and she has two big eyes. She loves me and she is good for me. She always buys some books for me. She wants me to be a top student. She also cares for my diet and life.I’ m 15 years old. I wear glasses. I like reading. I always read books after school. I like singing, too. My favorite singer is Jay Chou. His music is very nice. What do you think of him? I also like making friends. If you want to meet me, please write to me.Oh, my parents love me and I love them, too. My family is a happy family.。
幽默的英语演讲稿3分钟5篇
幽默的英语演讲稿3分钟5篇英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟1Very happy and we feel we are one together - young teachers heroic feelings， My name is Ling， graduation Yidu teacher.I was crying my choice too， have work for me sad too，because I embarked on a career like I did not do a very poor teacher， I cry many times my choice， they can In countless grief I have been comforted， when I saw both of that is full of naive，but eager to swim in the ocean of knowledge a child， my sinking， floating calm the mind， and slowly I also learn from practice feel the teachers pride，he was like a Spring Silkworms， like the dedication of their own candles no regrets，I have seen it countless teachers no regrets。
and with their youth and lives to defend the sanctity of the teaching profession， but also what they use their own actions， with traces of life， inspired by those of us who come after，I have reluctantly enamel reluctantly，by the reluctance to wholeheartedly love this job，because I have seen that life will go beyond the utilitarian， although meals for life， But the living is not for eating， living in the possession of many small minded，short-term birth in eternity， while the teachers are such a career.I know that a teacher tired， bitter， but to their own ideal， I still would like to pursue， to the surging waves of fighting， to sinister mountain climbing， there may be storms，a storm， the road may be bumpy， but I still would use laughter，with songs to fill ups and downs， I will meet with the merry laughter of the rising sun， I will be flying the heart to face my work and life.Yes ah!英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟2How to Be PopularMost people would like to be popular with others, but not everyone can achieve this goal. What is the secret to popularity? In fact, it is very simple. The first step is to improve our appearance. We should always make sure that we stay in good shape and dress well. When we are healthy and well-groomed, we will not only look better but also feel better. In addition, we should smile and appear friendly. After all, our facial e_pression is an important part of our appearance. If we can do this, people will be attracted to our good looks and impressed by our confidence.Another important step is developing more consideration for others. We should always put others first and place their interests before our own. Its also important to be good listeners; in this way people will feel comfortable enough to confide in us. However, no matter what we do, we must not gossip. Above all, we must remember to be ourselves, not phonies. Only by being sincere and respectful of others can we earn their respect. If we can do all of the above, I am sure popularity will come our way.英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟3Good morning/evening/afternoon, ladies and gentlemen : Today, my speech is about talents,in my opionion, talents are indispensable in nowadays society. as is known to all that the fight among countries is actually the fight among talents. First, id like to define the wordtalent in my idea, a talent is one person who is good at or e_pertised in some or multiple areas. nowadays, as the world developing goes on , if one country want to rank top or do a good job in the world, the country must have many talents.for e_ample, china, the biggest developing country in the world, in the past 100 years, is always invaded by other countries, why ,the reason is that china at that time had not so many talents. if they had anti-intrusionleader talents in the war, needless to say,they would have beat those big powers.if they had talents in weapons manufacturing, nodody dares to provoke us.however, nowadays, its a totally different situation, china has become powerfulin all over the world, why ? because there are many talents serving the country, the civilians become more and more literated.more and more people go to university,more and more people come to receive further education. so what is that in return,talents in army protect our country from invasion, talents in commerce help make our economy keep in improving, talents in aerospace make the world see chinese manned spacecraft flying. talents in sports make china rank the first in the olympic games……To sum up, talents will play a more and more impoetant role in the world, if one country intends to flourish, he must foster talents as many as they can ,thats all,thank you.英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟4Good afternoon,ladies and gentlemen!I’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! To begin with ,I want to ask a question .Does everybody dream a good dream last night? Actually ,today I want to talk about dream with you. Of course, What I want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.Everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. Dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners,we can chart our course by them. With the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.With the dream, there is hope,With hope, we have the strength to fight.I have a dream: To be a doctor.，because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. May let the human change the health. At the same time, I believed that, those who help others may be able to obtain joyfully. Therefore, I hoped in the near future ,I might be a doctor.But I know，life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead . Young!Fortunately, I am young now. Just due to it, I know that nothing is impossible.I firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. If I cant realize my dream,it result from that I havent work harder enough and I wont find other e_cuses. If no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. If you think the god haventblessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth. My breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in Kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains. At some time in the past I also had am bitious words and I had some achievements. Each achievement results from my hard work. I always believe that If you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder. In some e_tent, the dream is the hope. If you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. So my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. Whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. Lets--- move ----out!Thank you for your listening!英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟5change ourselvesgood evening, honorable judges, ladies and gentlemen.it’s my greatpleasure to stand here to present my speech —change the world, change ourselves.it’s noticable that western holidays are becomingincreasingly popular day by day, while chinese traditional festivals are being somewhat neglected. not long before about 10 doctors in beijing university and qinghua unversity announced that we should reject the invasion of western holidays ,because they regard western holidays as an challenge against our traditional festivals and culture.frankly speaking, i don’t quite agree with them.indeed, we should never neglect or even discard our traditonal festivals as china boasts a brilliant history and splendid traditions. (e_amples).but why can’t we absorb the meaningful western holidays and culture.there are obvious reasons why some western holidays are so popular in china. on the one hand, some of the western holidays which we chinese don’t have are reasonable and meaningful, such as father’s day and april fool’s day etc. on the other hand,the prevalence of globalization enables western culture to prevail in china. overwhelmed by such a trend,chinese unconsiciously get involved in western holidays and culture.with the further development of the whole world, the cultural communication between different countries and nations becomes faster and more and more important. we are indeed from different nations, but we are the citizens of the same world,so the outstanding culture of different nations is the commom wealth of everyone on the earth.the only way for us to protect our traditional culture is to reject the foreign culture? the answer is definitely no. what we ought to do is to spare no effort to educate chinese to get to know and treasure our splendid traditions instead of rejecting foreign culture. only by educating can we set our confidence and belief towards our culture. only by educating can we preserve and promote the wealth that our ancesters left for us.at last i’d like to share a famouse saying of gandhi with all of you ,that is:if you want to change the world, then you must change yourself first.”。
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幽默英语演讲稿love your mother 爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系... later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的... the little boy grew up andbecame a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, whydo women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejectioneven from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardnessthat allows herto keep going and take careof her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly.... she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quella teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashionedher from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimestests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed. it is hers to usewhenever needed andit is her only weakness.... when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good. 因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰．she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and specialwomen in their lives.她是独特的！请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人．but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thinga woman is.篇二：中英文幽默演讲幽默演讲——调侃自己（中英对照）演讲者如何调侃自己创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。
poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for takingtime out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smilegraciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffeefrom breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to thinkof the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it reallyworks. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes.幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。
我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。
personally, i havenever been conceited --- and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。
创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。
我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。
let me put this into plain english. i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。
创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。
if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the onlyone i know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。
创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。
演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。
making a speech is like watering a lawn. you’re satisfied if just a quarter ofit sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。
幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。
创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么。
开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。
before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited fortelevision. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the gameon channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。