《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本,搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事。

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孔雀东南飞英语剧本

孔雀东南飞焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)强盗burglars(abandc)prologue(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that I’m hen pecked, but in fact,I’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, I’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this I donot care. I only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)my god! who can help me?(下)act1(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)jm(拄拐棍上):I can!(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here! what’s up ，mum?jm:I have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.J:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,solazy!J:but……jm:never interrupt me!J:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,I have been working hard alldaylong,cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickenand……jm:but all those you have done are not asvaluable as a grandson!J(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)act2(lm坐在台上打毛线,J拿着锅铲上)L:mum, I’m back!lm:you are back?why?what happened?L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted onmarrying that terrible johnny, I told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listento me. look at yourself……l:but,mum……lm:never interrupt me!l:mum,i’m not inter rupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? andi’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughterhaven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! nowshe has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an icegirl,go and take her back!j(立正敬礼):yes madam!act4(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)a:hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)ab&c:give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go androb the wedding!a&b:good idea!j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go with you. you take the money and i take the bride.b:have you got any experience?j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(j和三强盗跃至台中)abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!a:the road is built by me!b:and i planted one tree.c:if you want to go by this street---j:give us all your money!(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you?l(哭状):i hurt a lot!j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)。

英文戏剧孔雀东南飞-原创Love Story of Johnny and Lunch

Love Story of Johnny and LunchAct OneLunch: Although I have changed myself from a beautiful model to a normal housewife, I maintain what I choose, I like! And just do it! As is known to all, my husband loves me so much that he never says anything bad about me!Johnny: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, if I were a tiger, my wife would be Wu Song! You know I'm strong！But my wife Lunch is the most famous, bravest and strongest woman in the neighborhood. Having a wife like this is just like living in hell! And the tiger will be killed by the hand of Wu Song sooner or later!Lunch: What were you saying just now! ？Johnny: I said: “I'm a tiger and you are Wu Song!”, but I am willing to be your Servant! I belong to you, my dearest wife!Lunch: oh, my honey!Johnny: oh, my honey!Act TwoJohnny's mother: Stop! Stop！I cannot accept this behavior！What a shame！Lunch, come here!Lunch: I'm coming! What's up mum?Johnny's mother: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law"Lunch: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what's up?Johnny's mother: Since you’ve married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy...Lunch: But...Johnny's mother: Never interrupt me!Lunch: You never interrupt me! Since I’ve married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickens and... Johnny's mother: But all that you have done is not as valuable as a grandson! Fu Rong Jiejie and Feng Jie are better than you!Lunch: Oh, you want a grandson, don't you? Go and ask your son. I'm leaving!Act ThereLunch: Mum, I'm back.Lunch’s mother: You're back? Why? What happened?Lunch: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law.Lunch’s mother ：See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he always got up late, rushed to school, and teachers were angry, he himself was every ugly. But you didn't listen to me. Look at yourself now!Lunch: But, mum...Lunch’s mother: Never interrupt meLunch: But, mum...Lunch’s mother: Never interrupt meLunch: But, mum...Lunch’s mother: I will marry you to the Mayor's Son. His father is Li Gang, he has power and money! You know money doesn't mean everything, but without money it is nothing! When I have no money, I always say“ou ma ne mou ma hong, all money go to my home!”Lunch: What? Mayor's Son!? The most famous playboy in the neighborhood!? What a silly idea!Act FourJohnny: Lunch has gone! I am upset，oh, Lunch has gone!Johnny: Oh, I have nearly forgotten it! I can ask help from my friend!(makes a call)Johnny: This is Johnny speaking, may I speak to Ru Lai, my brother Ru Lai? Oh, my god, he is playing MaJang with Yan Ｗang! Johnny: May I speak to A Li Ba Ba? .GO and see me right now! My wife will be others’wife!(After the friend knows what happened)Friend: I will try my best to help you with my brothers! but……Johnny: That sounds great! But what?!Friend: You know money is the root of all evil! Without money we are nothing! Johnny! We are three brothers who like money best! Johnny: Is 1 mao enough?Friend: Soga！Goodbye！Johnny: Oh no no! I've got this! (J takes off the socks and takes outa check：$1,000,000)Act FiveMayor's son：Look at my wife, she’s beautiful right? Come on, baby! Friend A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. This road was built by me! Friend B: And I planted one tree!Friend C: If you want to walk on this street...Johnny: Give us all your money!Lunch: Johnny! Mayor's son was very angry and fought with Johnny Friend B: Johnny gave me 250 Yuan to act as a robber! Let me help him. (Mayor's son was hurt badly)Johnny: Oh, honey! Dear! darling！Sweetheart!Lunch：Oh ,honey!Johnny: All my thoughts belong to you，I have just three words for you today: I love you! Honey， do you have something important tosay at this happy time?Lunch：All that I want to say is that you mustn't let me wash your smelly socks again! And I will work hard to give birth to a lot of children! Ha, I love you, honey!Johnny: I love you, too!。

孔雀东南飞,英文改编

焦仲卿johnny 刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)焦母johnny’s mother刘母lunch’s motherA; The priestprologue 序幕(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)my god! who can help me?(下) act1 第一幕(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)jm(拄拐棍上):i can!(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearestmother-in-law, what’s up?jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy……l:but……l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicke and……jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)act2(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)l:mum, i’m back!lm:you are back?why?what happened?l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. look at yourself……l:but,mum……lm:never interrupt me!l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have towash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m sohungry! but there’s no br eakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)thisis what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, andher excellent cooking skill! Nowshe has gone.i haveto cook for my mother and myself.jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a sonwithout a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice girl.Askherback.j(立正敬礼):yes madam!act4At mayor’son and lunch”s ceremonyA；we all against them to get married ,don”t we?J;No,I don’t.lunch, I realized that I really wrong , canyou come back with me?L;No,Some Mistakes cannot be redeemed . I love my husband. I treasure what I have now . Wish you happiness.Bye.(Treasures At Present. Everyone can be happy)。

孔雀东南飞英文版[修改版]

第一篇：孔雀东南飞英文版Wander severy five miles焦仲卿Johnny(J for short)刘兰芝Lunch(L for short)焦母Johnny’smother(JM for short)刘母Lunch’smother(LM for short)太守之子Mayor’s son(MS for short)强盗Burglars(A BandC)Prologue(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)J:Every body says that I’m henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is Wu Song.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!(内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom?My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)My God!Who can help me?(下)Act1(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)JM(拄拐棍上):I can!(对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here! What’s up mum?JM:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.L:OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up?JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude,so brusque, solazy……L:But……JM:Never interrupt me!L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard allday long,cooking and washing. Ihave raised ten soft housands of pigs and ducks and chickenand……JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son. I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)Act2(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)L:Mum, I’m back!LM:You are back?Why?What happened?L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor, but you did not listento me. Look at yourself……L:But,mum……LM:Never interrupt me!L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK?And I’ll marry whomever you want me to.LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market. He said:“If your daughter Haven’t been married, I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again, I’llgo and tell him.(下)L(惊愕):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下)Act3(J睡眼惺忪上)J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er! Hows melly!They are still dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Nowshe has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.JM(上):Where’s my breakfast? Where’s Lunch?Hasn’t she got up yet?J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nicegirl,go and take her back!J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!Act4(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)A:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)AB&C:Give us all your money!J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出１角硬币):Is1mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!B:If we cannot rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lanzhi next month.WE can go androb the wedding!A&B:Good idea!J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married? It’s impossible!AB&C:Why? A pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’ll gowith you.You take the money and I take the bride.B:Have you got any experience?J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄１，０００，０００) Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中)ABC&J:Hey you! Stop and listen to us!A:The road is built by me!B:And I planted one tree.C:If you want to go by this street---J:Give us all your money!(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向MS冲去）(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,how are you?L(哭状):I hurt a lot!J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)(音乐起Can You Celebrate)第二篇：孔雀东南飞《孔雀东南飞》我深信，广泛阅读的终极目的是为了成为更好的观点接受者，然后成为更优秀的思考者。

孔雀东南飞英文版

Kenfair late Eastern Han Dynasty (AD 196-219) years, the little Lujiang Yamen officials prefect's wife Liu Lanzhi Making up Making up the mother was back to her parents, her (back to her parents after) vowed not to no longer married. Her deputy forced her maiden remarried, she drowned dead. Making up to hear (Liu Lanzhi drowning death) it, too (own) garden tree and hanged himself. They were mourned at the time, wrote this poem describes it.Southeast to peacock birds fly, they fly five miles while hovering. "(I) Thirteen-year-old can weave beautiful white Juan, fourteen-year-old learned how to cut clothes, fifteen-year-old will play the harp, sixteen-year-old can recite poetry and literature. Seventeen-year-old did your wife, often pained heart grief. You do Taishou Fu since the small officials to comply with official rules, unwavering focus. I am alone in the empty room, is the day we met very few. chicken called me to sub-on the silk, every night they do not rest. three days into the five silk weaving, weaving my mother also deliberately too slow. not because I am weaving slowly, (but) your wife home difficult ah! Since I can not play (in your home ) beck and call, in vain keep also no use. (you) can now announce his woman to tell Making up after listening to so to the classroom to announce his mother: "I have not donehigh-ranking officials enjoy generous of fortune tellers, thanks also marry the (virtuous talented) wife, marriage (Young couples) love each other to live, (and contract) must depend for the death of mate in the ground. (We) live together less than two years, (life) started, not too long, the woman's behavior and there is nothing improper, where the mother would expect are not satisfied with it? "Woman, as early as possible back to her parents left me."Focus on promoting the mother Emily said: "(you) how this knowledge did not! The women do not speak a courtesy, every move at his own meaning. I would have anything in gas, how can you be given a free hand! Neighbors have a virtuous woman, whose name Jiao Qin Luo Fu, (looks) lovely, no one comparable to the mother for you to marry me. (you) to Sign divorced Liu Lanzhi, sent her away, do not retain (her)! "Making up straight and announce his waist and knees: "baby fat respectfully announce his mother, now divorced, if this woman, the wife of my life do not marry!"After listening to the words of the son of Mother Jiao, (fist) pounding bed rage (curse): "You're afraid of a little boy, how dare you talk to help your wife! I have no kindness for her, of course not promise you (request). "Making up silently did not dare to, thanks to two worship of themother returned to her room, mouth to speak to his wife, but then also said pharyngeal pumping Chouyan not a sentence: "I do not want to rush you had to go, but a mother forcing . You have had to go back home. I now work for the time being in the back Taishou Fu, and soon I will come back, come back to meet you will return to my home. To do this, you wronged by the point of it, do not go against me to say. "Liu Lanzhi of Making up, said: "Do not add to the trouble! Remember the year in late winter, I said goodbye to her parents married you live, serve always obey the wishes of her mother, where am given a free hand every move it? Hard to operate day and night I suffered alone to hard torture, always thought there is no fault of her mother serve for life. (I) in the end or be driven away, where also said to go back to your house? I have embroidered waist Duanao , shone above the beautiful embroidery, red Luosha do fighting off double-decker, four corners hanging sachets, Sheng six or ten boxes of clothing, boxes are tied with a rope aquamarine. everything is not what their the same, all the vessels inside the curtain in that box. I were inferior, and things are not valuable, worthy take it to meet your future wife to remarry, keep as my gift (to you) the souvenir it, since there is no chance to meet again the. always a comfortto these things for it, (hopefully you) never forget me. "Wong sings the outside, days will be bright, Liu Lanzhi get dressed neatly. Put on my embroidered skirt clip, every piece of clothing worn, to be replaced several times. Silk shoes, foot wear, head wear (insert) with glittering ornaments, waist beam with Sclerotium son, the same glory as the waves flow, wearing the ear to do with the moon bead earrings, finger like a sharpened thin soft white onion roots, lips ruddy, like his mouth a red gem, small step in the eventual light, delicate beauty, the world is really not the second.Liu Lanzhi onto the hall audience with her mother, her mother constantly angry. (Lange said:) "I used to do when her daughter, grew up in the countryside after birth, had no received any good education, married with young master your home, we feel ashamed. To accept gifts of money to send her mother a lot, but can not afford her mother's beck and call. Today, I went back to her family, but miss her mother at home, hard physical exertion. "back then and sister farewell, tears fall as a series of beads. (Liu Lanzhi on the sister said:) "When I first came to your house, sister to hold the bed you just learning to walk, and today I was off, sister, like me, you look high. I hope you to dedicated care of their own mother, a good serve Her elderly, the seventh day andthe nineteenth, are playing do not forget me. "(Lange finished) out to board the car and left, tears kept falling rustled.Making up the horse walk in front of Liu Lanzhi of car dealers in the back, the car issue faint sound of Austin Austin, joined together in a large intersection, Liu Lanzhi Making up dismount sit in the car, the two leaned down ear whispered to each other. (Making up, said): "I vowed not to cut off relations with you, you go back home for the time being, I now defer to Lujiang Taishou Fu (office), will be back soon, I swear, I'm sorry you never will." Liu Lanzhi on Jiaozhong Qing said: "Thank you for your loyal love wish! Since you remember me this way, hope you will soon be able to pick me up, you must become a rock, I must be rushes and reed. Rushes and reed too soft and strong silky, rock is not easy to be transferred. I have an elder brother, fiery temperament acts like thunder, I am afraid that will not let me think of the future, like my heart like a suffering. "Then farewell show of hands, more than melancholy, the two The same feeling reluctant to go. Lange went into the house, went inside the hall and tried to feel no face in the back. Liu Mu (see Lange back) was shocked by patting the palm of your hand, said: "I did not expect you back! Thirteen-year-old teach you the textile, fourteen-year-old will be able to cut clothes, fifteen-year-old will play the harp,sixteen-year-old understand the etiquette, send you married seventeen years old, always thought that you will not have any mistakes. exactly what is wrong with you now, no one to greet you on your back! "Lange ashamed of his mother, said:" My daughter is really nothing wrong . "Hearing his mother is very sad. (Lange) goes home to ten days, the magistrate sent the matchmaker come to. (Matchmaker) said that the magistrate had a third son at home, who was pretty elegant, the world unique and age of only eighteen-year-old, eloquent, and very capable. Liu Mu said to her daughter: "You can go to promise him." Daughter, tears in her eyes said: "When Lange came back, asked me Making up again and again, vowed never to separate. Today against the brotherhood, I am afraid that this matter do that. then you can turn down people for the media, (later) it slowly revisit it. "Liu Mu told the matchmaker, said: "(We) poor and lowly people, with this daughter, she had just married off soon be back home. (She) can not do Fu Li's wife, how worthy of county magistrate's son? Like you aspects inquire inquire (ask other women to revisit), I can not promise you. "Matchmaker magistrate after a few days away, near prefect sent Juncheng to pop the question. Prefect home ... ... that a fifth son,charming Toshihaya, not married, please do Juncheng matchmaker, which is the words of the Lord came down the book. Jun Cheng directly Liu Mu said: "We prefect home, there is such a good son, now married to the marriage and your home, so sent me to you live for the media."Liu Mu refuse the matchmaker, said: "My daughter had any previous pledge, how do I dare woman (to her) that remarriage that?"Lange brother refused to marry him prefect heard this, restless mind, open to the sister said: "You make such plan does not take into account how! Previous marriage get is a minor official, this time your son to get a marriage, difference between good and bad luck was the same as heaven and earth, (good luck) rich enough to make you whole life, do not marry such benevolent son, how are you going to do next? "Lange rise replied: "truth is indeed like a brother to say, I said goodbye to her family to serve her husband, brother, half way back home. How to deal with entirely at her brother's idea, dare yourself casually decide it? Although I Fuli Li under oath, but he never have a chance to meet the. Prefecture immediately agreed to this marriage, which can form a marriage. "He kept up his seat matchmaker Prefecture, said: "Yeah, yeah,I'll try to do so." He reported back to Junfu Prefecture, said: "I accept your mission to to go to a matchmaker Liu, the son of a very nice ring copies of matchmaking is successful. "prefect heard these words and felt very happy, (right) to view marriage calendar, but also look at marriage books, he told Jun Cheng:" wedding scheduled for this month is very auspicious, year, month, Lunar phase for all day, good day for the thirty day, today is already twenty-seven, you up to date Liu set a good marriage. "Taishou Fu pass each other in all the words:" up to organize the wedding now! "( time for the wedding of people) come and go like the clouds of heaven as the connection off. Wedding installed (items) and the ship painted white swan Qingque patterns, corners Flag hanging embroidered with the dragon, gently wind. Gold inlaid white car wheels, jogging ahead of the Tsing Ma Cong, sets a color tassels hanging around, was inscribed gold saddle. Three million gift the bride price, all with a blue silk dress, there are three hundred colored silk, Guangzhou, from procurement to pay the state of delicacies. Four to five hundred people have followed noisy to Lujiang Junfu door.Mama said to her daughter: "I just received a letter from prefect, tomorrow to meet you, why not make clothes? Do not let the marriage does not do it!"Lange quietly silent, her mouth with handkerchiefs to cry, tears pouring down like water, like pouring. I sat in the glass move the couch, move to the next window on the front. Scissors and ruler left hand, right hand holding a grade silk (hands-on clothes.) Morning to make a folder embroidered skirt, made of a single Luoshan night. Overcast to almost dark, and Lange note full of thinking, and went out crying.Making up to hear the change, then leave temporarily back to the Lange family have two or three in place, people hurt, horse Yi Ming. Lange horse sounds familiar Fuli, light step sprints to meet him, and sad, looking frustrated, knowing (in love) are coming. She raised her hand on touching the saddle, and cry so that people have broken sigh. Said: "Since you left me, so unexpected changes in personnel ah! I have a natural mother, was also forced my elder brother, I forcibly betrothed to someone else, you have little to look back where it!"Making up for Lange, said: "Congratulations are soaring! I am Founder and solid piece of rock, could have been stored for thousands of years, and Pu Wei moment flexibility to maintain only fills between morning and evening. You will be rich and up day by day I went to the government a go alone! "Lange of Making up, said: "Where thought (you will) to say sucha thing! Same was forced, I like you so, (we) meet each other in to the government under it! (Hopefully) do not violate the oath today ! "(They) shaking hands with each other tightly, and then bid farewell to left, everyone returned to his home. The living are dying farewell for the heart to do it right where the indignation? Thought (they) will never leave this world, in any case can not be saved (lives of)!Making up home, took the hall audience with his mother, said: "Today is very cold and windy, cold Cuizhe the trees, the yard is covered with white orchids heavy frost. Son is now the same as the sun was going down, making the mother the future is very lonely. (I) is intended to make such a bad plan, do not go any spirits hate it! would like your life as long as the stones of the mountain, may your body is always healthy and Shu Shun! " Mother Jiao hear (his son) these words, tears shed along with the voice, said: "You are a family of children, but also in high official in any office, never to (a) actively look for dead woman, (you and her ) different from your splash, (divorced her) where even fickle it? east there is a virtuous woman, her beauty both inside and outside the city is famous, and I for you to marry him, sooner or later there will be answered. "Making up thanks to his mother back to the two prayer rooms,empty room in their long sigh, the intention of suicide is so decided. (He) turned to Lange lived in rooms, (Duwu hygiene conditions), more and more grief suffering persecution. (Lange) married beetles which, when called masi, Liu Lanzhi into the line of blue cloth wedding tent, in a dark gray evening, quietly, people began to rest the. (Lange said to himself): "My life ended today, the soul to leave, so that the long stay in the human body, right!" (So) rolled up skirts, silk shoes off, jump jump into the water pool.Liu Lanzhi Making up drowned himself heard it, knew that (from this and Liu Lanzhi) parting forever, wandering under the trees in the courtyard for a while, its just hanging branches toward the southeast.Jiao Liu buried two requirements, so the two people buried in the Mountain sideways. (The tomb) on the pine and cypress lined things, (the tomb) species on both sides of the Indus, (the tree) each branch roads covered with patches of leaves connected to each other. Tree, a pair of birds, their name is Mandarin, looking upward, toward each other is called, just before dawn every day to night whining. Walk, stop and listen to the people, the widow heard that, from the bed, and my heart is very stable. A lot of advice to future generations who, as a matter of lessons learned,do not forget ah!。

孔雀东南飞新编(英文剧本)

《孔雀东南飞》新编人物：焦仲卿(J- Johnny)——A饰刘兰芝(L-Lunch)——B饰焦母(JM)——C饰刘母(LM)——D饰旁白(PB)——E饰场景一焦家客厅旁白：Lunch and Johnny have been married more than 3 years. But the attitude of Johnny's mother becomes worse and worse for her, so the relations are becoming more violent and even the edge of crashing.L（在扫地，听到婆婆叫自己的名字）:I’m here!What’s up mum?JM（进屋）: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so brusque, and so lazy……L：But……JM: Never interrupt me!L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, I have been working, cooking and washing. I have raised soft pigs and ducks and chicken and……JM: But all those you have done are not valuable unless you have a son!L（生气地挥动扫把）:Oh, you want a grandson, don’t you? Go and ask your son. I’m leaving! （把扫把重重的扔在了地上）场景二焦母卧室旁白：Jonny sees his wife sobbing after work for his mother let her go, then he feels aggrieved and rushes into his mother's room.J: Mom, why did you drive Lunch away?JM:I didn’t like her at all. She does everything imperfect, the floor is dirty, weaving skill is not adept and the meals she cooked is terrible. I can’t tolerate such kind of daughter-in-law. Son, I heard a girl called Luofu, she’s cut e and reasonable .After you divorce Lunch, I will make an engagement of you two.J: Mom, I will never divorce .Lunch has been our family for 3 years, and neighbors all witness her hardworking. Moreover Lunch and I all love and respect each other. How can you courage I divorce? In my opinion, it’s your problem.JM: Jonny, u…u…you give me a talk back for your wife?Jonny: Mom, sorry, please forgive me, but I will never be apart with Lunch!场景三刘家客厅旁白：Johnny backs his room, finding Lunch has left to herself home. Well, now, Lunch is already at home.L: Mum, I’m back!LM: You are back? Why? What happened?L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.LM（惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情）:See! I have already told you when you are marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. Look at yourself……L: But, mum……LM: Never interrupt me!L: Mum, I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I’ll marry whomever you want me to.LM（大喜）:Nice girl! Just now, I met the mayor’s son in the mark et. He said: “If your daughter hasn’t been married, I really want to marry her!” Now you are free again, I’ll go and tell him.（下）L（惊愕）: What? You mean t he mayor’s son, the most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?What a silly thing I have done! （下）场景四老地方旁白：Due to their parents, their emotion goes worse. Johnny dates her to express his heart to her in the “old place”J（在湖边苦等自己的妻子，望穿秋水，看到刘兰芝来了，站起身，满含深情的望着她，去拉她的手，但是刘兰芝甩开了）：Honey, are you still mad at me?L：Why should I angry with you? Your mother command you that you need leave me, right?J（心如刀绞，焦急万分）：How can you say such a thing? My heart for you, do you still not understand? Can you feel my heart these days I haven’t seen you? How do I get through? You say such words really make me sad.L：You are sad? Have you ever thought about me? Since I married you, I have been working, cooking and washing. I have raised soft pigs and ducks and chicken and……J：But she is my mother! That is her! I have no choice but to tolerate.L：……J：Oh please, honey. Forgive her.L：（含泪欲哭）Who forgive me? You tell me.J（脱口而出，掷地有声）：Me！I will and I always will！（上前拉起刘兰芝的手）I know youlived an unhappy life. It is my fault,（边说边帮用右手拂去刘兰芝的眼泪）but I need your belief. You must believe I love you forever, please.L（态度逐渐转变，被焦仲卿的言语所打动，上前抱住焦仲卿）J（两人抱了一会儿，感觉刘兰芝情绪稍微稳定点儿后）：Honey，listen to me. I’ve heard that your mother let you marry the mayor’s son…….L（拭去脸上的泪水）：It's her idea. Not mine. If she forced me, I have to die.J（捂住刘兰芝的嘴，满含热泪，情绪激动）：No, honey, you won’t. If so, what can I do?L（看到焦仲卿激动的情绪，安慰道）：You be，I will be. I will not go to dead.J：We must live to witness our love! I believe that true love can withstand ordeals. Honey, do you still remember the original pledge?L：Yes，I do. 蒲苇韧如丝——J：磐石无转移。

《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本,搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事。

篇一：孔雀东南飞搞笑剧本剧本
《孔雀东南飞》剧本
旁白：东汉末建安年间，庐江太守衙门里的小官吏焦仲卿的妻子刘兰芝被焦仲卿的母亲赶回娘家，她回娘家后发誓不再嫁人。

她的娘家逼迫她改嫁，她便投水死了。

焦仲卿听到兰芝投水而死这件事，也在自家庭院的树上吊死了。

当时的人哀悼他们.写下这首诗记述这件事。

；
【孔雀鸟向东南方向飞去，飞上五里便徘徊一阵】
刘兰芝: 大家好!我就是传说中美貌与智慧并重、温柔与体贴的化身----刘兰芝我十三能织布,十四学裁衣,十五弹箜篌,十六诵诗书……
焦母: (拄拐上场,吼道)你死哪去了!还不赶紧去做饭!
兰芝: (低眉顺眼并给婆婆行礼)婆婆……我这就去给您做饭?今天咱们吃面条,行么? 焦母: (面朝天,生气状)面条……面条,太滑!
兰芝: (委曲求全)那……那……咱们吃包子?
焦母: (顿了顿拐)包子！！！包子,太腻!
兰芝: (声音哽咽)那……吃饼成不?
焦母: (白了兰芝一眼)不行!不行!烙饼太硬!
兰芝: (泪水溢满眼眶,强忍不流)那婆婆,你想吃什么,我去给您做。

第1 页。

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《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本,搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事。

篇一：孔雀东南飞搞笑剧本剧本《孔雀东南飞》剧本旁白：东汉末建安年间，庐江太守衙门里的小官吏焦仲卿的妻子刘兰芝被焦仲卿的母亲赶回娘家，她回娘家后发誓不再嫁人。

她的娘家逼迫她改嫁，她便投水死了。

焦仲卿听到兰芝投水而死这件事，也在自家庭院的树上吊死了。

当时的人哀悼他们.写下这首记述这件事。

；【孔雀鸟向东南方向飞去，飞上五里便徘徊一阵】刘兰芝: 大家好!我就是传说中美貌与智慧并重、温柔与体贴的化身----刘兰芝我十三能织布,十四学裁衣,十五弹箜篌,十六诵诗书…… 焦母: (拄拐上场,吼道)你死哪去了!还不赶紧去做饭! 兰芝: (低眉顺眼并给婆婆行礼)婆婆……我这就去给您做饭?今天咱们吃面条,行么? 焦母: (面朝天,生气状)面条……面条,太滑! 兰芝: (委曲求全)那……那……咱们吃包子? 焦母: (顿了顿拐)包子！！！包子,太腻! 兰芝: (声音哽咽)那……吃饼成不? 焦母: (白了兰芝一眼)不行!不行!烙饼太硬! 兰芝: (泪水溢满眼眶,强忍不流)那婆婆,你想吃什么,我去给您做。

焦母: (怒斥)算了吧！你这个笨婆娘！我们焦家怎么娶了你？连饭都做不好！下去吧！算了，快下去……真烦死人了！（兰芝黯然转身，坐在椅子上哭，焦母下场，兰芝转身坐在椅子上哭，仲卿上）仲卿：（远行刚回家，看见兰芝在哭，急忙放下行李作揖到她面前安慰道）娘子，你这是怎么了？（急切）兰芝: 相公几日不见，你又消瘦了！仲卿：娘子更堪憔悴，母亲又说你来吧！娘子受苦了！兰芝: (兰芝低头沉默接着说)只怕……只怕……母亲是不会留我了! 仲卿：娘子莫担心,我不会让你离开我的!待我再向母亲求情!(焦下) (仲卿一边走一边犹豫,经过一番思考,他终于来到母亲的房门,焦母正襟危坐于前焦上前去一鞠躬) 仲卿：母亲啊!你看兰芝她温柔体贴,对您恭敬孝顺,你为什么总是不满意呢? 焦母: 乖儿子,听话?那种女人不要也罢!娘再给你找一个好媳妇。

喏……东家有个芙蓉姐姐，名叫秦罗敷娘看她是人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎，她和你啊，真是龙配龙，凤配凤，老鼠配臭虫！仲卿：啊！焦母: 青蛙配恐龙！仲卿：啊！焦母: 奥……不对!美女配英雄! 仲卿：不,孩儿已和兰芝立下山盟海誓、相伴终生,我是风儿,她是沙,我是叶儿她是花,我是……焦母: 够了,你放了肆了,大了胆了,有能耐了是不是,我的话也不听,说不行!就不行!你们俩立马断交,立刻!马上! (焦抱着头,仲卿被母亲赶了出来,满脸沮丧的来到兰芝屋里) 仲卿：(深情的)娘子兰芝: 相公无须多言,小女子什么都明白了。

仲卿：兰芝你先放心回家，等我把母亲搞定了，就来接你！兰芝: 相公……【唱我舍不得…可是时间回不去了】仲卿：（感动有感而发）如果我有一千万，我就能买一栋房子，我有一千万么？没有！所以我没有买。

如果我有翅膀，我就能飞，我有翅膀么？没有！所以我不会飞。

如果我能等一个人，！是的！我能！如果要在这个时间上加一个期限的话，我愿意是一万年！【唱爱你一万年…】兰芝: （感动流泪状）啥也别说了，感情都在酒里了!【拿个杯子喝交杯酒】旁白: (分别依依不舍,兰芝带着仲卿的希望回到家中,可是!到了家门口,她想到自己被休,不禁又感到害怕) 兰芝: (害怕状)母亲……母亲!我回来了! 兰芝母: (十分生气,十分吃惊)你真是放了肆了!大了胆了!有能耐了!是不是!被人休了!还好意思回来!说!为什么被休呀! 兰芝: 我没做错什么?是仲卿她娘看我不顺眼,就把我赶回来了!(同情状并轻轻挽着女儿的手) 兰芝母: (理解状)原来是这样呀!女儿呀!你真是命苦呀!你先回房休息吧!别太伤心! 兰芝: (应答)那娘我先回房休息了。

旁白: （兰芝被休的消息很快传了出去，几天后的一个月明高照的晚上，县令家的三公子出来赏月，不知不觉来到了刘府）三少爷: (君望月)今天的月亮真圆呀!就像烧饼,就是芝麻少了点?呀!兰芝家的灯还开着,难道她也在赏月?正好!趁现在!……唱:今夜我又来到你的窗前,窗帘上你的影子多么可爱,默默的爱了你这么多年,今夜我要向你……表白…… 兰芝: 仲卿……仲卿!是你么? 三少爷: (痛苦状)不!我是府君! 兰芝: (变色冷冷地说)是你呀!你来做什么! 三少爷: 兰芝,有一句话很早就想对你说了,其实……其实……我很…… 兰芝: 你还是走吧!我的心今生今世只属于一个人!奥!仲卿……(抬头望着天空表示天真)我的爱人!你在哪里? 三少爷: 兰芝……兰芝!我一定会让你嫁给我的! 旁白: (第二天,县令派媒人到刘府提亲[媒婆上场] 媒婆: 终于轮到我了,各位观众!我就是前无古人、后无来者、驰名中外的跨世纪金牌媒人----铁尺铜牙“小甜甜”创业数十年来，凭俺沉鱼落雁、闭月羞花之貌、能起死回生的三寸不烂之舌，促成了多少美好姻缘，连月老前天还说，要拜俺为师呢？哈！哈！哈！哈！哎吆！……到了！（走到门前敲门）叮咚…… 刘母: 谁呀!谁呀!来了!来了!(开门)你找谁呀!阿婆? 媒婆: 哎吆!看你说的!人家可是黄花大闺女?(同时做手势羞涩拿手绢[没有手绢拿卫生纸代替]挡着脸) 刘母: 奥!对不起!那你有事么?姑娘!媒婆: 是这样的,县令家的三公子,看上你们家的刘姑娘了,他对她是一见钟情、越陷越深、茶饭不思、水米不进,叶县令特意派我来提亲的! 刘母: 兰芝……兰芝!她…… 媒婆: 你还犹豫什么?这可是叶家的三公子呀!那人长得绝了!才十八岁!正当壮年!尤其是!那张嘴,特能白活【河南话……】刘母: 不是这个问题呀!是…… 媒婆: 那是什么问题!你们家不就是想嫁个有钱人吗?这不是你们想要的有钱人吗? 刘母: 那我去问问兰芝吧!兰芝…… 兰芝: 娘,有事吗? 刘母: 闺女呀!叶家来提亲了,你意见如何呀? 兰芝: 娘呀!我不想嫁给三少爷,我和仲卿分开的时候,约定好了!我不嫁呀! 刘母: 我看人家条件不错!就嫁了吧! 那个焦仲卿还不一定回来接你呢? 兰芝: 我曾与仲卿许下诺言，除非海水变黄金，满天掉馅饼，不然永不相弃的，还是算了罢。

刘母: 唉! 媒婆: 说什么呢?真是彪死人了!不嫁算了!可别后悔!(转身拿出手机给三公子打电话) 媒婆: 哈罗呀!三公子呀! 三少爷: 怎么样?搞定了没有呀? 媒婆: 哎呀!…小女子对不住您啊!俺把公子您的风流潇洒都说尽了，可那小娘子竟然是王八吃秤砣铁了心啊，她要和那个那个什么焦的永不相弃啊…… 三少爷: 我晕!就这样你还铁齿铜牙呢？饭桶，一群饭桶！还是待本公子亲自出马！(挂机)兰芝: (兰芝一个人在家里,对着墙壁不禁又想起了仲卿)君当做磐石,妾当做蒲苇,蒲苇纫如丝,磐石无转移(思念状)山无棱天地和,才敢与君决。

仲卿你知道我在想你吗? 刘兄: 哎呀,哎呀!喜事呀,天大的喜事呀!兰芝,太守府今日来提亲了,这可是天大的喜讯呀!兰芝: 哥,我不嫁! 刘兄: 什么!(大怒)你傻了不是,这么好的婚事你还要拒绝,人家没嫌你,就是你这儿辈子修来的福了,你还…… 兰芝: 哥,你甭说了,我死也不同意! 刘兄: 你……你,你怎么就这么不开窍呀!你想啊!你若嫁给府君!就会有享不尽的荣华富贵,我还可以弄个官来做做,可你…… 兰芝: 我不在乎这些! 【场景转换】三少爷: 凉风有信,秋月无边,思娇之情,度日如年啊!我虽不是高大威猛,风流倜傥,但我有广阔的胸襟加强劲的臂膀。

（路上遇见兰芝）哇噻!美女!(激动上前拥抱,兰芝躲开,三公子抱住刘兄,急忙松开)刘兄: 哎呀!这不是三公子吗?兰芝还不来拜见三公子!(兰芝不安,上前作揖) 三少爷: 兰芝美眉…一日不见,如三秋兮,你让我等的好苦啊! 兰芝: 三公子请自重,奴家已有意中人,我与仲卿立下山盟海誓,终生相伴。

我是风儿，他是沙。

我是牙膏，他是刷。

我是乌龟，他是青蛙。

三少爷: 你是天鹅，他是癞蛤蟆!那个焦什么卿的，啊！有我帅吗?有我有钱吗?有我这么有品味吗?有当县令的老爹罩着吗? 刘兄: 就是,就是!想我们三公子!才高八斗,学富五车高大威猛英俊潇洒,号称一颗青松压海棠……三公子不要着急,是我们家兰芝糊涂,这门亲事咱们做定了!兰芝: 我不嫁! 刘兄: 闭嘴,你嫁也得嫁,不嫁也得嫁! 兰芝: 你……(无奈) 三少爷: 如此最好了!娘子,小生就待择日来迎娶你了。

(唱)你要是嫁人不要嫁给别人一定要嫁给我。

哈哈… 旁白: (兰芝想到自己将要嫁给府君,就坐立不安,不知不觉走出家门,却正好看到闻讯赶来的仲卿) 兰芝: 仲卿! 仲卿：兰芝! 兰芝: 你……来晚了,明天我将成为别人的新娘了! 仲卿：真是可喜可贺呀,磐石方且厚,可以卒千年!蒲苇一时纫,便做旦夕间。

你就要做叶家少奶奶了,还说什么诺言呀!(生气) 兰芝: 唉!你又何必如此呢!同样是被逼的,这世道不容我们,那我们来世再见。

仲卿：不求同年同月同日生,但求同年同月同日死(深情状) 兰芝: 在天愿做比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝（深情状）仲卿与兰芝: 我们来世再见! 仲卿回到家与母亲说道：母亲，儿子要先走一步，你不要太想念我，要是想的慌我会回来看看你的祝您身体健康寿比南山【抹泪状】母亲【惊吓悲伤状】：儿子你不要这么忍心抛下我世间女子这么多你何必在一棵树上吊死呢东边有个不错的美眉我去帮你提亲她肯定不会拒绝的【仲卿拒绝了母亲回到房间叹息】旁白:(天亮了母亲又来催了,叶家的花轿已经来了,兰芝终于下定决心) 兰芝: (痛苦状)为什么我的命这么苦!相爱的人不能在一起?唉!仲卿我去了。

（于是跳湖自尽）旁白:(仲卿听到兰芝自杀的消息后,急忙跑出房门) 仲卿：兰芝,你真的自杀了,好!我们地下相见吧!等我!【上吊身亡】旁白:(就这样相爱的人被分开,甜蜜的家被撤散,美满的幸福被冲淡……焦刘两家丧子之痛无法挽回，他们将仲卿与兰芝的尸体和葬在华山之上，在坟墓的东西种上松柏，南北种上梧桐，枝叶相互交错，异常茂盛，在树丛中栖生着一对飞鸟，名叫鸳鸯。

白天，行人听了他们的叫声驻足静听；夜晚，寡妇听了他们的叫声，起床彷徨。

再三警告后人，要从这件事中取得教训，万万不能忘！！)篇二：9到10人英语剧本 ---孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版英文 9到10人英语剧本 ---孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版英文 2011-05-03 17:47 Performance @ College : Story of Johnny and Lunch (孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版) Characters: Prologue (J作被打状跑上台，内砸出一个纸筒，J被打中，狼狈不堪) J: Everybody says that I m henpecked, but in fact, I m as strong as a tiger. (Whisper)While my wife is Wu Song.(拍门大叫)I m not afraid of you! （内砸出一脸盆，J接着当成盾牌护着）Then,I m afraid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in neighbourhood. She s braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me.All of this I do not care. I just want her to be tender than me. But she isn t! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! Act One (序幕结束时，JM作窃听状) JM:(拄着拐棍上)I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you? L：（揸住锅铲，扎着围裙，从门内跳出来）I m here!I m cutting chicken. What s up mum? JM: I ve told you again and again that you should call me my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law . L: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what s up? JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy... L: But... JM:Never interrupt me! L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickens and... JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L:(生气挥动锅铲)Oh, you want a grandson, don t you?(开始脱围裙) Go and ask your son. I m leaving!(扔下围裙，扔到JM脸上，下台) Act Two (LM坐在台上打毛线，L拿着锅铲上台) L: Mum, I m back. LM: You re back? Why? What happened? L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law. LM(惊讶，但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor. But you didn t listen to me. Look at yourself now! L: But, mum... LM: Never interrupt me! L: Mum, I m not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And I ll marry whomever you want me to.LM: (大喜)Nice girl! Just now, I met the Mayor s Son in the market. He said, If your daughter haven t been married, I really really want to marry her! Now that you re free again, I ll go and tell him (下台). L: (惊愣)What? The Mayor s Son? The most famous play boy in neightbourhood? (手中锅铲掉地上)Whata silly thing I have done!(下台) Act Three (J 睡眼惺忪上台) J: (边走边道)Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? (走几步，在地上捡起袜子) Here they are! (闻一下) ER...How smelly! They re still dirty! (突然想起) Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself! （肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来）Oh, I m so hungry, but there is no breakfast! (捡起地上的围裙) This is Lunch s apron(围裙)!I miss her...EXCELLENT cooking skill so much! Now that she has gone, I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM:(上台) Where s my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Hasn t she got up yet? J：Mum, can t you remember? Lunch has gone! JM: (沉吟片刻) Well, to tell you the truth, Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl. Go and take her back. J: (立正敬礼)YES, MADAM! ACT FORE (J 开心地走着，忽然跳出三强盗) A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. The road is built by me!(一脚踩在一石头上) B: And I planted one tree!(踩同一石头) C: If you want to go by this street...(欲踩石头，但踩到A的脚) B：Give us... A: All C: your money! J: （搜遍每一口袋，掏出一1角硬币）Is 1 mao enough? (ABC晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A: What a bad luck! This guy is broken! B: If we can t rob any money today, we ll have nothing to eat tonight. C: I heard that the Mayor s Son is going to marry Miss Lunch next month, we can go and rob the wedding! AB: Good idea! J:(惊讶)What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Impossible! A:Why? B: A pretty girl and a rich man. C: What a good couple! J: But Lunch is my wife, we haven t got divorced yet.(突然有主意) I ve got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, aren t you? I ll go with you. you take the money, and I take the bride. B: Have you got any experience?J: No, but I ve got this!(J 脱下鞋子，从里面抹出一张支票，上书：$1,000,000,ABC见状跟着J下台，目光跟着钱) Act Five (转眼已到婚礼之期，MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上台，L盖着红盖头极不情愿的被拉上台) （J A B C 跃至台中） A: Hey you! BCJ: Stop and listen to us! A: The road is built by me. B: And I planted one tree! C: If you want to go by this street... J: Give us all your money! (L 听到J 的声音，掀起了盖头) L: （惊喜万分）Johnny! (不顾一切地飞奔到J 的身后) （MS大怒，挥拳向J 打来，J 矮身一躲，MS 打中J 身后的L , L晕倒） J: (火冒三丈) How dare you beat my wife! (挥拳打向MS) (J与 MS混战，JM悄悄上在MS后) J: (指着MS后向MS讲)Hey, Pretty girl! (MS向后一望，JM用拐杖将其打倒) （J 将MS胸前的新郎标志撤下来，戴在自己的胸前） J: (扶起L,关切地问)Honey, How are you? L:(Crying...) Thurtalot! J: Don t cry baby, I ll fetch some medicine for you (下台) L:(起身去追)Wait for me!(跑下台) （音乐起：罗密欧与祝英台）END...篇三：孔雀东南飞(英语剧本) 《孔雀东南飞》人物列表：刘兰芝 (L) 焦仲卿(J)焦母(JM) 刘母(LM)太守之子(MS) 强盗(C) 小组成员：第一幕 J:（J 作被打状跑上台，内砸出一卷纸筒，J被打中，狼狈不(内（内砸出一卷手纸）仲卿：Everybody says that I’m nenpecked but in fact, I’m as strong as a tiger, (小声) While my wife is WuSong(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!(内砸出一脸盆，J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then, I’m afarid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood. She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. An this I do not care. I only want her to tender than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just likes living in the hell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒，击中J).My God! Who can help me?（F）焦母：I can! Lunch! Lunch! Where are you? 兰芝：I’m here! What’s up, mum? 焦母：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me my most beautiful, graceful and deavest mother-in-law 兰芝：Ok, my most beautiful, graceful and deavest mother-in-law, What’s up! 焦母：Since you married my son, you have behaved so badly, You have been so rude so brusque ,so lazy... 兰芝：But... 焦母：Never interrupt me!兰芝：Never interrupt me too! Since I married your son ,that terrible Johnny. I have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing . I have raise tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken, and… 焦母：But all those you have done aren’t as valuable as a grandson! 兰芝：(生气地挥动着锅铲)：Oh, you want a grandson, don’t you(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son. I’m leaving(扯下围裙扔在焦母脸上). 焦母：Impudicity. Comeback! Come back. 第二幕 (刘母坐在台上打毛线，兰芝拿着铁锅上) 兰芝:Mum, I’m back! 刘母：you are back？Why? What happened? 兰芝：I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearvest mother-in-law. 刘母:(惊讶，但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情)：see！I have already told you! When you msisted on maying that terrible Johnny, I told you that heisugly stupid and poor, but you didn’t listen to me . Look at yourself… L: But, mum …… LM: Never interrupt me!L: Mum, I’m not interrupting you .I just want to tell you that you are always right. Ok? And I’ll marry whomever you want me to. LM: (大喜)Pretty girl! Just now, I met the mayor’s son in the market. He said:“If your daughter haven’t been married, I really want to marry her!” LM: Now LanZhi is free a gain, I’ll go and tell him.(下) （刘母来到太子府，知道太守之子）第四幕 LM: You good luck is coming, My daughter LanZhi now is at home And she would marry to you. MS: How nice it is? Oh, thank you ever so much. Thank you very much for everything you have done for me. LM: I believe you, Go ahead. 第五幕 LM: the mayor’s son wamtea to marry to you. I had agreed. L(惊讶)what? The mayor’s son? The most famous play bod in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)what a silly thing I have done!(下) 第六幕（J睡眼惺忪着上了场）J（边走边道）：Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? （走了几步，在地上捡起了袜子）Here you are!（闻一下）Er! How smelly! They are still dirty!（突然想起来）Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself.（沮丧地）（他的肚子似乎咕咕地叫了起来）Oh, I’m so hungry! But there’s no breakfast.（捡起了地上的围裙）This is what lunch always wears! I miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! Now she has gone. I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM （可怜地拄着拐杖走上场）：Where’s my breakfast? Where is my lunch? Hasn’t she got up yet? J: Mum, can’t you remember? Lunch has gone! JM（沉吟片刻）:Well! To tell you the truth of Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back! J（立正敬礼）：Yes, madam! 第七幕（J开心地走着，忽然跳出三个强盗） A: Hey you! Stop andlisten to me. The road is built by me. （抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上） B：And I planted one tree! （亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上，再次跺。

《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本,搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事。

孔雀东南飞英语剧本

英文戏剧孔雀东南飞-原创Love Story of Johnny and Lunch

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孔雀东南飞英文版[修改版]

孔雀东南飞英文版

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《孔雀东南飞》英语剧本,搞笑版的孔雀东南飞故事。