各种英语冷笑话大全
10个冻死人的英语冷笑话,真冷~
10个冻死人的英语冷笑话，真冷~——今天口语君给大家分享10个英语句子里的笑话咱么一起感受英语冷笑话的冷！1、涨潮和海滩—What did the beach say as the tide came in？涨潮时，海滩说了什么？—Long time, no sea.笑点解析：海滩说Long time, no sea，既是“很久没有海水”的意思，又可以理解为“好久不见（Long time no see）”。
2、大象与老鼠—Why won’t the elephant use the puter?为啥大象不用电脑？—He’s afraid of the mouse!因为害他怕老鼠。
笑点解析：“老鼠”和“鼠标”的英文都是mouse，这里有一语双关的意思。
3、6和7、8、9—why is 6 afraid of 7？为什么6害怕7？—Because 7,8,9.因为7,8,9。
笑点解析：7、 8 、9， seven eight nine，与7 ate 9同音；7把9给吃掉了，所以6害怕7，因为它会吃掉9；（ate 是“吃”的过去式）4、毯子的掩护—What did the blanket say to the bed?毯子对床说了什么？—Don’t worry. I got you covered.别担心，我掩护你。
笑点解析：cover有“覆盖”的意思，也有“掩护”的意思。
5、不能站立的自行车—Why can't a bike stand up on it's own?自行车为什么不能站起来？—Because it's two tired.笑点解析：两个轮子two tired听起来像too tired。
6、关于巧合Whenever someone says， "I don't believe in coincidences."I say, "Oh my God, me neither!"每当有人说：“我不相信巧合。
读英文的笑话
读英文的笑话笑话1：Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2：Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3：I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4：I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5：I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6：Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8：I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9：I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10：I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11：Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13：My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15：Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18：I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19：I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20：Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22：What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23：Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25：Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合，希望你能通过阅读它们，享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番！笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松，让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
冷笑话英语
冷笑话英语1. Why is the doctor so angry? Because the patient said, "Doc, I think I'm a moth!" And the doctor replied, "Well, why don't you go to the light then?"2. Isn't it funny how a fish can drown? Just like a bird can't swim!3. You know what's hilarious? A snowman walking into a bar and asking for a glass of water. The bartender says, "We don't serve snowmen here!"4. Have you heard the one about the piano? It had a hard time finding its keys!5. How can you tell if a vampire is sick? He starts looking pale!6. Isn't it crazy that a magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store?7. You know what's a real knee-slapper? A turtle gets mugged by two snails. The police ask him, "What happened?" And the turtle says, "I don't know. It all happened so fast!"8. Have you ever thought about why the mushroom is always invited to parties? Because he's a fungi!9. Isn't it strange that the skeleton didn't want to go to the party? He had no body to go with!10. Do you know what's funny about a pen? It has a lot of point!My view is that these cold joke English examples are really interesting and can bring a lot of laughs. They are simple and easy to understand, and can make people have a good mood.。
英文冷笑话
英文冷笑话英文冷笑话，是一种让人感到微妙的幽默。
它不是那种让人大笑的搞笑，而是一种让人感到好笑却又无法表达的感觉。
在这篇文章中，我们将介绍一些英文冷笑话，希望能让你感受到这种微妙的幽默。
1. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!这个笑话的意思是，番茄变红是因为它看到了沙拉酱，而沙拉酱通常是用来和番茄一起吃的。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的意外性和无厘头。
2. Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other slide!这个笑话的意思是，鸡穿过游乐场是为了到达另一个滑梯。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'slide' 既可以指滑梯，也可以指幻灯片。
3. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?Because it felt crummy!这个笑话的意思是，饼干去看医生是因为它感觉不好。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'crummy' 既可以指不好的感觉，也可以指饼干的质地。
4. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!这个笑话的意思是，自行车倒下是因为它太累了。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'two-tired' 既可以指太累了，也可以指自行车有两个轮子。
5. Why did the banana go to the doctor?Because it wasn't peeling well!这个笑话的意思是，香蕉去看医生是因为它的剥皮不太好。
这个笑话的幽默点在于它的双关语，'peeling' 既可以指剥皮，也可以指身体的状况。
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!这个笑话的意思是，稻草人获得了奖项是因为他在他的领域里非常杰出。
英语幽默小笑话100个
英语幽默小笑话100个笑话是一种能够带给人快乐，平添生活乐趣的文凭形式，以其机智、幽默、搞笑的特点，深受人们喜爱。
英语幽默小笑话就是一种给人带来快乐的黑色幽默渐层，也是美国人的一大特色文化。
以下是100个英语幽默小笑话：1、A: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?B: Dam!2、Q: What did the policeman say to his belly?A: Freeze!3、Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left it.4、Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, and I hang around.5、Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?A: He wanted to improve his bite.6、Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?A: Dam!7、Q: What did the tree say to autumn?A: Leaf me alone.8、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!9、Q: What did the monster say when he swallowed a clown?A: You taste funny.10、Q: Why don scientists trust atoms?A: Because they make up everything.11、Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.12、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.13、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug.14、Q: Why don vampires like going to parties?A: They don like to get sucked into conversations.15、Q: What did the bee say when it hit the window?A: Oh, buzz off!16、Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?A: Because he was outstanding in his field.17、Q: What did the barrel say to the other barrel?A: We can stand each other!18、Q: How do you make a hoodie laugh?A: Tell it a joke hoodie-style.19、Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.20、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.21、Q: why don astronauts play cards in space?A: Because they float away!22、Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.23、Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?A: Nothing, it just baa-ed.24、Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?A: Odor in the court!25、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!26、Q: What did the helium balloon say to the air?A: Nothing, it just let out a little squeak.27、Q: What did the computer say when it crashed?A: Hey, I having a bad day!28、Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?A: Nice belt!29、Q: What did the paperclip say to the magnet?A: I find you very attractive.30、Q: What did the silverware say to the plate?A: You complete me!31、Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?A: Aye matey!32、Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!33、Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? A: You too young to smoke!34、Q: What did the clock say to the other clock?A: Don worry, I right behind you.35、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!36、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!37、Q: What did the hamburger say to the hotdog?A: We make a great pair!38、Q: What did the rain say to the dirt?A: Let go make some mud pies!39、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!40、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?A: Dam!41、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug!42、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!43、Q: What did the alien say to the dad?A: Take me to your leader!44、Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?A: Hold on to your leaves!45、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!46、Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?A: Let go for a hop!47、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!48、Q: What did the rock say to the cliff?A: Hang in there!49、Q: What did the letter say to the envelope?A: Let stick together!50、Q: What did the mama bee say to her lazy bee?A: Wake up and Bee productive!51、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!52、Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?A: You crack me up!53、Q: What did the key say to the lock?A: It so nice to see you again!54、Q: What did the snail say to the turtle?A: Hurry up!55、Q: What did the cowboy say to the cactus?A: How it hanging?56、Q: What did the doctor say to the patient?A: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.57、Q: What did the bicycle say to the car?A: You may be faster, but I more fun!58、Q: What did the two antennas say to each other? A: You look good, girl!59、Q: What did the octopus say to the philosopher? A: I think, therefore I am eight!60、Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand? A: Let get to work!61、Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato? A: You looking a little red today.62、Q: What did the duck say to the waiter?A: Put it on my bill.63、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!A: Bee yourself!65、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Worm your way out!66、Q: What did the fish say to the whale?A: You a big fish in a small pond.67、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!68、Q: What did the teapot say to the cup?A: Time for a cup of tea!69、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Buzz off!70、Q: What did the noodle say to the other noodle? A: Let have a pasta party!71、Q: What did the alarm clock say to the bed?A: Time to wake up!72、Q: What did the tree say to the wind?A: Leaf me alone!73、Q: What did the tree say to the other tree?A: What a re-leaf!74、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!A: You looking sharp!76、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: Let work it out!77、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Wanna come out and play?78、Q: What did the elephant say to the mouse?A: You so tiny!79、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Let make honey!80、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!81、Q: What did the frog say to the fly?A: Time for dinner!82、Q: What did the pizza say to the oven?A: Let get cooking!83、Q: What did the fish say when it saw a boat?A: That a big hook!84、Q: What did the elephant say when he saw the mouse? A: That tiny!85、Q: What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? A: We have a lot in common!86、Q: What did the ball say to the other ball?A: Let play catch!87、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Bee mine!88、Q: What did the ice cream cone say to the other ice cream cone?A: Let have a scoop!89、Q: What did the tree say to the axe?A: Chop chop!90、Q: What did the pencil say to the eraser?A: Let work it out!91、Q: What did the horse say when it tripped?A: Neigh!92、Q: What did the scarecrow say when it got promoted? A: I outstanding in my field!93、Q: What did the pelican say to the other pelican? A: Let go for a dive!94、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Hey, bee-friend!95、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Let make honey!96、Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!97、Q: What did the firefly say to the other firefly? A: Let light up the night!98、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!99、Q: What did the spider say to the fly?A: You in my web now!100、Q: What did the bee say to the beekeeper?A: Let me out of this hive!从上述100个英语幽默小笑话可以看出，英语幽默小笑话涵盖了生活中的各种场景，不论是小动物、植物、机械还是自然现象，都能以机智、幽默、搞笑的方式进行描述。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
简短英语冷笑话
简短英语冷笑话笑话一：Why is the doctor so angry? （为什么医生那么生气？）Because he has no patience （因为他没有耐心呀。
）patience 既有“耐心”的意思，又有“病人”的意思，一语双关，是不是有点小意外？笑话二：What has four wheels and flies? （什么东西有四个轮子还会飞？）A garbage truck! （垃圾车！）因为 garbage truck（垃圾车）在运输垃圾的时候，垃圾会到处飞，所以说它有四个轮子还会“飞”，是不是很有趣？笑话三：What do you call a fish with no eyes? （你把没有眼睛的鱼叫什么？）Fsh （鱼。
）因为没有“i”（眼睛）就成了“fsh”，这种简单的文字游戏，让人忍不住笑出声。
笑话四：Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? （为什么鼻子不能长 12 英寸？）Because then it would be a foot （因为那样它就成一只脚了。
）这里巧妙地利用了“foot”既有“英尺”又有“脚”的意思。
笑话五：What did the zero say to the eight? （0 对 8 说了什么？）Nice belt! （漂亮的腰带！）8 看起来就像系了腰带的 0，是不是很形象？笑话六：Why don't scientists trust atoms? （为什么科学家不相信原子？）Because they make up everything! （因为它们构成了一切！）“make up”既有“组成、构成”的意思，又有“编造”的意思，这个双关真的很妙。
笑话七：What's the longest word in the English language? （英语中最长的单词是什么？）Smiles Because there is a mile between its first and last letters （Smiles 因为它的首尾字母之间隔了一英里。
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英语冷笑话大全ImprovementOne student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."进步一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
To Go to HeavenSunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? Y ou haven't got your hand up -- don't you want to go to Heaven?Terry: I can't. My Mum told me to go straight home.去天堂主日学校的教员：想去天堂的人举起手来，把手举起来。
你呢，哈里?你还没举手呢-- 你不想去天堂吗?哈里：我去不了，因为妈妈让我一放学就回家。
How Many Rabbits?Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir.Teacher: Nine?Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子?老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子?乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只?乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."作文老师给学生出了个作文题：“一场板球赛”。
两分钟后，西蒙。
斯蒂尔交了作文，老师允许他回家了。
他在作文上写道：“下雨，比赛终止。
”Who Discovered Australia?Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.Johnny: It's there, sir.Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia? Sammy: Johnny, sir.谁发现了澳大利亚?老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。
约翰尼：先生，在这儿。
老师：对了。
萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?萨默：先生，是约翰尼。
LightningTeacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice? Roy: Because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!老师：为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方?罗伊：因为它击中一个地方一次以后，那个地方就不存在了。
The Climate of New ZealandTeacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?Matthew: Very Cold, sir.Teacher: Wrong.Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
My Sister's FingersTeacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home. Teacher: I don't see any bandages.Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.我妹妹的手指头老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
All Except the MusicA keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?" "Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is." 除了音乐一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。
为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。
在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。
”The plural Form of "Child"Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?Tom: Men.Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?Tom: Twins."孩子"的复数形式老师：汤姆，…男人‟这个词的复数形式是什么?汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。
那…孩子‟的复数形式呢?汤姆：双胞胎。
When Do People Talk Least?Student A: When do people talk least?Student B: In February.Student A: Why?Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.人们什么时候说话最少?学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
The Reason of Being LateTeacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.迟到的原因老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着…学校-缓行‟。
He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。