儿童英文笑话
少儿英文小笑话大全爆笑
少儿英文小笑话大全爆笑幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段。
下面是店铺精心收集的爆笑少儿英文小笑话，希望大家喜欢!爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇一A philosophy professor warned the classhe wasgoing to give them a test.一位哲学教授通知学生他要举行一场考试。
When the day came he entered theclassroom,wordlessly placed his chair on the tableand,turning to the blackboard, wrote, 考试那天，他走进教室，一言不发地把自己的椅子放到讲台上，然后转身在黑板上写道，"Prove to me this chair does not exist."“请向我证明这张椅子不存在。
”Most of the nervous studentbegan intently scribbling out long dissertations.大多数学生很紧张，都开始专心地写他们的论文。
But one member of the class wrote down just two words,and then handed his paper to theteacher.只有一个学生只写了两个单词就交卷了。
The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:"What chair?"当教授看到这个学生的答案时，不由微笑了，只见他写的是：“什么椅子啊?”爆笑少儿英文小笑话篇二A big burly man visited the pastor's homeand askedto see the minister's wife,a woman well known forher charitable impulses.一个高大魁梧的男人到牧师家拜访，他要求会见牧师的妻子，这是一个以有着慈悲心肠而闻名的妇女。
关于儿童爆笑英语笑话大全
关于儿童爆笑英语笑话大全英语笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
在人不开心的时候听几则英语笑话可以让人马上变得开心起来。
小编精心收集了关于儿童爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!关于儿童爆笑英语笑话：A Small Boy and a Donkey 小男孩与驴子A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad(少年，小伙子) . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them. So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。
两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么? 这样，他就不会去参军了。
小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。
关于儿童爆笑英语笑话：I'm Glad 我很高兴A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.Well done. Who was that?My granny.Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。
小学生幽默英文笑话大全
小学生幽默英文笑话大全笑话拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱，是生活中不可缺少的一环。
小编精心收集了小学生幽默英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!小学生幽默英文笑话：家丑不可外扬Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.Teacher: Please tell us something about it.Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, 'Domestic shame should not be published.'混合双打体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗?尼克：见过，老师，经常见。
就在昨天夜里我还见过呢?老师：你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。
我爸爸常说，”家丑不可外扬。
“小学生幽默英文笑话：It's Kind of Fitting(理应如此)As a freshman at the University of Dayton in Ohio, I was eager to make a good impression on my new roommate. When I arrived at our dorm room, I found her putting on perfume. "That's a great scent," I said, making conversation."Thanks-it was from my boyfriend. Here, try some," she said, holding the bottle out for me.Unfortunately she let go before I had a firm grip, and the glass shattered on the tile floor. , Embarrassed, I tried to apologize, but she cut me off - "Actually, it's kind of fitting," she explained, surveying the damage. "That's exactly how the relationship went.小学生幽默英文笑话：ResponesFrequent hand-washing in my job as a medical technologistand the harsh Alaskan weather combined to give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands withpetroleum jelly and covered them with a pair of old white gloves.As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and began putting it on. "What are you doing?" I asked."Well," he replied, "if you're going to be formal, so am I."小学生幽默英文笑话：Two Old MenTwo old men were sitting on a porch with a hound dog between them. The dog had its leg hiked up and was licking itself. One of the old men said to the other, "I sure do wish I could do that."The other old man said, "You better not, that dog will bite you."。
儿童英语笑话大全
儿童英语笑话大全 篇一：儿童英文笑话 Tell a lie Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?" Victor: "I want that one of the greatest." Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one." Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?" 妈妈：―你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？‖ 维克多：―我要那只最大的。
‖ 妈妈：―维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。
‖ 维克多：―妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？‖ I Don't Like an Argument 我不想争论 Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth? It's round, answered Gerald. How do you know it's round? continued the teacher. All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it! 杰拉尔德，老师问：地球是什么形状？ 是圆形的，杰拉尔德回答道。
你怎么知道是圆的？老师又问。
好吧，那它是方的，学生回答说：我可不想与你争论这件事情。
Two Birds 两只鸟 Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 老师： 这 儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
适合小朋友的英语笑话
适合小朋友的英语笑话
1. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
2. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
3. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner!"
这些笑话简单幽默，适合小朋友的理解水平，可以带来欢乐和轻松的氛围。
当给小朋友讲笑话时，可以观察他们的反应，如果他们喜欢，可以继续分享更多类似的笑话。
笑话不仅可以带来快乐，还可以促进小朋友的语言理解和幽默感的发展。
希望这些笑话能给小朋友带来快乐！。
儿童英语笑话汇总
儿童英语笑话汇总下面是店铺整理的儿童英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!儿童英语笑话：Two Birds 两只鸟It's a night. John is looking at the sky.这是一个晚上。
约翰抬头看着天空。
Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”汤姆是约翰的弟弟。
他问约翰：“你在干什么?”John says, “I’m counting stars.”约翰说：“我在数星星。
”Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。
你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”儿童英语笑话：Three Turtles 三只乌龟Tony and his father are eating dinner.托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”突然，托尼问他的爸爸：“爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗?”Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It’s a silly question.”爸爸皱眉说：“我想不好吃。
你怎么会问这个问题?这可是一个愚蠢的问题。
”But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”可是托尼说：“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。
”儿童英语笑话：Tell a lieMom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多?”维克多：“我要那只最大的。
儿童英语笑话带翻译大全
儿童英语笑话带翻译大全民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。
但是它却一直被学界视为不登大雅之堂的小众,研究工作相对薄弱。
下面是店铺带来的儿童英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!儿童英语笑话带翻译篇一It was so late. Frank lay in bed and demanded his mother to peel the apple for him.天很晚了。
弗兰克躺在床上，要妈妈给他削苹果吃。
"It's so late, sonny, that apples have already gone to bed."“孩子，太晚了，苹果已经睡觉了。
”"No, they won't, mama. The small apples may have gone to bed, but the big ones mustn't."“不，不会的，妈妈。
小苹果可能睡了，但大苹果一定没有睡。
”儿童英语笑话带翻译篇二A boy had eaten a lot of cookies, but he wanted more.一个男孩吃了很多饼干，但还想吃。
His father said to him, "Don't eat any more, or your stomach will explode."他的父亲对他说：“不要再吃了，不然你的肚子就会爆炸。
”The boy said, "Never mind. When I'm eating once again, you can stand aside."男孩说：“不要紧。
我再吃时，你可以躲开。
”儿童英语笑话带翻译篇三Tommy: "How is your little brother, Johnny?"汤米：“约翰，你的弟弟好吗?”Johnny: "He is ill in bed. He hurt himself."约翰尼：“他生病卧床了，他伤着了自己。
儿童英语幽默小笑话带翻译
儿童英语幽默小笑话带翻译1.儿童英语幽默小笑话带翻译钱不用找了Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。
他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。
其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. “Keep the change,” he said.我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。
他说这是个原则问题。
最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。
他得意洋洋，拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。
“零钱不用找了。
”他说。
12.儿童英语幽默小笑话带翻译amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
i’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.恐怕我们还买不起，妈妈叹息着说。
儿童英语小笑话
儿童英语小笑话笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来儿童英语小笑话，欢迎大家阅读!儿童英语小笑话1：Little Billy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.So he decided1 to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal2 authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Billy a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.Billy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:Dear God,Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.Thanks,Billy儿童英语小笑话2："Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked."I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to vist," the little boy answered.儿童英语小笑话3：As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."儿童英语小笑话4：Little Freddie said to Little Johnny, "My dad's tougher than your dad!""Oh yeah?" said Little Johnny, "My dad is so tough, he has lightbulbs for dinner!""Really?""Yeah, the other night I heard him tell my mom, 'Turn out the light, I wanna eat it!'"。
经典英文小学生幽默笑话
经典英文小学生幽默笑话篇一：小学生英语幽默笑话12英语笑话小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet 老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！英语笑话某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am HongTao Liu. 外宾曰：我还是方片七呢！英语笑话某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.英语笑话英语老师问一个学生，“How are you是什么意思” 学生想how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你？” 老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you 是什么意思？” 这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你”英语笑话小明在学习英语时，总爱把英语单词的读音用汉字标注出来。
因此很产生了一个大笑话。
老师在教学问价钱一课时，问某商品多少钱时用“How much”，小明赶紧在这个词组下面用汉字标出了他的读音“好吗嘛”。
标完后还洋洋得意，觉得自己学会了。
一次，小明到商店买东西，老板是个老外。
小明想要一瓶可乐，说了半天老板听不懂，小明只好用手指到可乐，老板才把可乐拿给他。
等到付钱时，小明马上想到自己学的英语知识，高兴的说“好吃嘛？”，老板摇摇头，小明挠挠头，心想是不是记错了，又说“嘛好吃？”。
老板摇摇头，小明急了说道“吃好嘛？”。
老板摇摇头，小明情急之中冒出“好嘛吃”。
老板这才点点头。
小明惭愧的满脸通红，低着头抓耳挠腮地离开了商店。
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Tell a lieMom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"妈妈：―你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？‖维克多：―我要那只最大的。
‖妈妈：―维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。
‖维克多：―妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？‖I Don't Like an Argument 我不想争论Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?It's round, answered Gerald.How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it! 杰拉尔德，老师问：地球是什么形状？是圆形的，杰拉尔德回答道。
你怎么知道是圆的？老师又问。
好吧，那它是方的，学生回答说：我可不想与你争论这件事情。
Two Birds 两只鸟Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
Three Turtles 三只乌龟Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee.""We won't," the other two promised.Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。
它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。
于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，―回家去取伞吧。
‖最小的乌龟说，―如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。
‖―我们不喝，‖另外两只乌龟答应说。
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，―好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。
‖正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，―你们要是喝了，我就不去。
‖Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?Tom: I don't know, father.Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?Tom: Our teacher, father.父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。
你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
But the teacher cried 可是老师哭了The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被宠坏的） . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!六岁的约翰娇生惯养。
他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。
这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。
他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。
他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。
Who is Stupid 谁愚蠢A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?""No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，―谁认为自己蠢就站起来？‖她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
―你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？‖老师问。
―不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。
‖Lost Purse 丢失的钱包A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。
她看了看钱包，说：―嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。
‖―没错，夫人。
‖小男孩立刻回答道，―上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。
‖I know who god is 我知道上帝是谁了A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay andstraight.The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?儿子：妈妈，上帝是白人还是黑人？妈妈：宝贝，上帝是白人也是黑人！儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人？妈妈：宝贝，上帝是男人也是女人！儿子：哦。
我知道了，上帝是迈克尔·杰克逊！His Fault 他的错Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.Mother: How did he do it?Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。