绝望主妇第一季第11集剧本

绝望主妇第一季第11集剧本Episode 01.11 - Move OnRex:I am just trying to move on with my life.Bree:Are you having an affair with my husband?Bree:I'm here to see Rex Van De Kamp.Apparently, he had a heart attack.Carlos:It kills me that I'm putting you through this.Judge Sullivan:Bring me the passport, and Mr. Solis can visit his mother.Susan:You walked out on your family.Edie:She is out there throwing herself at Mike Delfino.Edie:Wow, your own personal nanny? Swell you.(Edie Britt stands next to her car, looking thoughtful.)(Flashback to when Edie moved in. She tells one of the movers to be careful, then waves at Susan, Bree, Gabrielle, and Lynette who are sitting on Susan's porch, watching the move-in. They all wave, but when Edie turns away, they whisper to each other.)Mrs. Huber: "Hola!"(Mrs. Huber comes up to Edie, smiling and carrying a covered dish of food. She hands it to Edie, who takes it, smiling.)(Edie and Mrs. Huber walk down the street as an attractive male jogger jogs past them. Edie turns to watch him go past her and Mrs. Huber pinches her on the arm.)(A cab pulls up and Edie shakes off her flashback as she walks to the side of it, where the door opens. A woman gets out of the cab. )Felicia: "Edie?"Edie: "Yes."Felicia: "I'm Felicia Tilman. Martha's sister."Edie: "Really!"Felicia: "What's wrong?"Edie: "Oh nothing's wrong, it's just that Martha always said how alike you two were.I just don't see the family resemblance."Felicia: "It's there. It just takes a while to become apparent. Do you have the key to her house?"Edie: "I do. After the police kicked the door in, they put on this temporary lock. Oh, and by the way, the neighbors are coming over at noon. We're going to organize and hand out fliers."Felicia: "The key?"Edie: "Oh right. You know, I can only imagine how worried you must be." Felicia: "I'm not worried, Edie. Martha and I had a very intense bond. We were connected at the most primal level, and a few days ago, I felt this sensation in my soul. That's when it first dawned on me that something had happened to my sister. And when she didn't arrive at my home as scheduled, well, that's when I knew she was dead."Edie: "Oh, honey, no! You mustn't think like that! Martha's only missing!" Felicia: "No, Edie, she's dead. But she's my sister, and I'm going to find out exactly what happened to her."Edie: "Look, Felicia, it's natural to freak out when a loved one is missing." Felicia: "Loved one? Oh, Edie, let me be clear about this. I hated Martha. She was a wretched pig of a woman and the day she died, this world became a better place."Credits[Outside Mrs. Huber's House]Mary Alice Voiceover:"Mrs. Huber was missing. The words echoed down Wisteria Lane until every last resident was aware of her disappearance. By noon, dozens of neighbors had gathered. Some came to volunteer, some came in sympathy, and some, came to learn exactly what the police knew and what they didn't."(While neighbors pass out fliers amongst each other, Paul stands off to the side, looking down at the flier that reveals Martha is missing.)(A man in a suit takes a flier from the pile and turns to the group of neighbors standing in Mrs. Huber's yard.)Man: "So I'll need you to pass out fliers. Put them in the mall, the park, anywhere you think Mrs. Huber might have been seen. We need to jump on this; time is of the essence. Edie, would you like to say something?"Edie: "On behalf of Martha, and her sister Felicia, I'd like to thank you all for coming here today. You know, my last conversation with Martha was one of anger. And I'll never forgive myself for the things that I said. I lay awake at night thinking about it."(She starts sobbing and turns to cry on the shoulder of the man in the suit.) Lynette: "I don't know how she did it, but Edie managed to make this all about her." Gabrielle: "She's a talented girl, our Edie."Susan: "Has anybody talked to Bree? How's Rex doing?"Lynette: "She's bringing him home from the hospital today."Susan: "Well, I don't know how he had a heart attack. He was so young." Gabrielle: "Hey, how creepy is Mrs. Huber's sister?"Lynette: "I know. The way she was talking about Mrs. Huber, it was like she was already dead."Gabrielle: "You don't think she is..."Susan: "Oh no, I'm sure she's fine. We're talking about Mrs. Huber. She's like a roach!"(The women walk off and Paul walks up to Felicia.)Paul: "I just wanted you to know that everyone on Wisteria Lane is praying for your sister's safe return."Felicia: "Oh, I seriously doubt that."(She turns and walks off.)[Rex's Hospital Room](Looking through the window of Rex's hospital room, a nurse can be seen checking his heartbeat with a stethoscope. Outside the room are Bree, Danielle, and Andrew.) Danielle: "What do you mean, you're not taking care of him?"Andrew: "Dad's being released today. He's got to have a place to recuperate." Bree: "Well, then he can go to a motel because he's not allowed back in my house." Danielle: "I thought you two were getting along. What happened?"Bree: "That's - between your father and me."Andrew: "You're so selfish. You know, I'm so looking forward to the day I get to put you in a nursing home."Bree: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Andrew, but my plan is to have an embolism and to die young!"Andrew: "Yeah, well we're all rooting for you, but you might not be so lucky!" Bree: "Andrew!"Andrew: "You want to see how long I can hold a grudge? Go ahead and abandon my father, because I promise you, you'll be sorry."Bree: "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what -"Andrew: "Knew what? Well, come on, tell me! Because I'd love to know what my father did that was so awful!"Bree: "Fine. I will see him through this, but after that, your father can rot in hell for all I care!"(She walks off.)Danielle: "We're not like other families, are we?"Andrew: "No. We're not."[Gabrielle's House](Carlos's lawyer, Mr. Hartley, and Gabrielle are in the living room while Yao Lin cleans around them.)Mr. Hartley: "Gabrielle, it's not my fault that your bank accounts are frozen." Gabrielle: "I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying, fix it!"Mr. Hartley: "Well, I wish I could, but the folks at the justice department aren't very sympathetic."Gabrielle: "I'm running out of money. In a couple of weeks, I'm gonna be screwed." Yao Lin: "Why don't you hock some of your jewelry? There's a lot of stuff you never wear, and most of it's ugly."Gabrielle: "Don't you have a toilet to scrub?"(Yao Lin leaves the room.)Gabrielle: "I'm just so angry with Carlos. What was he thinking, exporting goods made from slave labor? Why couldn't he have embezzled like other white collar criminals?"Mr. Hartley: "All the justice department wants is to make sure that Carlos doesn't skip the country. Now, if he is released on bail, I can argue that he needs money to live on, and they'll probably unfreeze one of the smaller accounts."Gabrielle: "But they won't release him on bail until they get the passport."Mr. Hartley: "Exactly. You haven't found that yet, have you?"Mary Alice Voiceover:"Gabrielle wanted her old lifestyle back, no question, but she wanted Carlos to suffer for his betrayal even more. "(Flashback to Gabrielle looking at Carlos's passport in her hands before throwing it into the fire.)Gabrielle: "I'm still searching."Mr. Hartley: "Well, in that case, you might want to think about looking for a job." Yao Lin (walking by): "Hah!"[Susan's House](Susan and Mike are in the kitchen together.)Susan: "So, I had a really good time."Mike: "I bet you did."(The doorbell rings. Susan takes a moment to run her hand down Mike's back, ending on his buttocks and giving them a squeeze before going to answer the door.) Susan: "Gotcha."(Mike turns and gives her a happy sheepish grin.)(Susan answers the door and it's Karl.)Karl: "Hey, is this a bad time?"Susan: "For you? Of course it is."Karl: "That's cute. Tax stuff. I need your signature."Susan: "We've been divorced over a year."Karl: "2003."(Karl walks in.)Susan: "Well, please. Just come on in. Uh, Mike, I don't think you've officially met my ex, Karl Mayer."Mike: "Oh hey! Mike Delfino."Karl: "Right. Plumber."(Mike gives Karl a look before turning to Susan.)Mike: "Yeah, I don't have the right washer for this faucet, so I'm just going to go across the street and get it."(Susan laughs as he brushes against her, then walks to the door, closing it behind him.)Karl: "So he seems okay."Susan: "Yeah, he is. So what do you want me to sign? Oh, I see."Karl: "By the way, Julie told me about her birthday plans."Susan: "Yeah, we're going to a restaurant downtown. A guy who plays piano and an open mike. Julie got a bunch of her girlfriends together, so we're just going to make a night of it."Karl: "Julie loves to sing. It sounds nice."Susan: "Here you are."Karl: "All righty."Susan: "Give my best to Brandi."Karl: "Actually, um, we're not together anymore."Susan: "You're not? What happened?"Karl: "I caught her in bed with another guy. Go ahead. Do your happy dance. You deserve it."Susan: "No, no really, I'm, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I am."(Karl leans forward and gives Susan a hug, and holds on.)Susan: "Uh..."Karl: "It's just really hard for me right now. Thanks."(Mike walks back in and sees them. Susan motions to Mike, makes the hand sign of the phone, and then silently mouths the words 'Call me.' He walks back out, closing the door quietly behind him.)(Karl finally lets Susan go.)Susan: "Uh, try ripping up old photos. It helps."Karl: "Well, have fun this weekend. Let me know how the party goes."Susan: "Karl, do you want to join us?"(Karl makes a series of hand gestures that indicate he's at first going to refuse, but then he walks back over to Susan and gives her another hug.)Karl: "Oh Susan, you're the best."Susan: "Oh, well..." (small squeal) "I am the best, aren't I."[Lynette's House](Lynette and Tom lie in bed. Lynette looks over a list she's made of things to do, written on the back of the Missing Mrs. Huber flier.)(She turns to Tom.)Lynette: "You know, if we're going to buy a water heater, we should talk about it. We could go to the mall tomorrow. They're having a sale."Tom: "Could we talk about this tomorrow?"Lynette: "Well, I'm just trying to plan my day."Tom: "Please honey, I'm so tired."Lynette: "Okay."(She takes off her glasses and turns off the light.)Lynette: "Hon?"Tom: "Huh?"Lynette: "Did you set up the coffee maker?"Tom: "Oh. No. Uh, you know, I'll do it in the morning. I promise I'll get up early and do it."Lynette: "Tom..."Tom: "Oh..."Lynette: "e on."(He gets up.)Lynette: "Thanks."Tom: "Yeah."(Downstairs in the darkened laundry room off of the kitchen, Claire puts clothing in the washer. She takes off her socks, looks down at her robe, notices a stain, and then, after looking around, removes the robe. She quickly throws it in with the other clothes, starts the washer, then quickly jogs through the kitchen, her arms crossed across her chest.)(Tom comes down the stairs, stopping abruptly when he sees Claire.)Tom: "Claire?"(Claire gasps, then quickly turns around so her back is to him.)Tom: "Um, um, I'm, uh. Wow, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were up."Claire: "Yeah, I, I, I thought you were sleeping. I--I was just going upstairs. Do you want me to make the coffee."Tom: "Yeah! Yeah, that'd be great! I'm just gonna, um, go back up to my room." Claire: "Okay"Tom: "Good night."Claire: "Good night."(Tom returns to the bedroom, smiling.)Lynette: "Just so you know, if we go to the mall, we can go to the shoe store. You said you wanted new running shoes."(Tom gets in bed and leans over her. Lynette looks at him.)Lynette: "What?"(She turns and looks into puppy dog eyes filled with intention.)Lynette: "Oh."(She giggles. He moves in closer, and then she rolls over on top of him as they kiss.) [The Next Morning]Mary Alice Voiceover:"The next morning while the search for Martha Huber continued, Lynette discovered a little family secret. One she wasn't even looking for. "(Claire comes down the stairs and looks around before heading into the kitchen.) Lynette: "Good morning."Claire: "Good morning."Lynette: "Want some coffee?"Claire: "Uh, yeah, thanks! I didn't want to come down until Tom left for work. Still a little embarrassed."Lynette: "About what?"Claire: "Oh, he didn't tell you? Well, actually, it's kind of funny. Um, I was doing some laundry, and I noticed that the robe I was wearing had some baby food on it, so I threw it in, figuring I could dash upstairs while everyone was asleep. And then I ran into Tom, while I was totally naked."Lynette: "So, Claire, when did this incident occur?"Claire: "I don't know. It was pretty late. I think he might have come down to make coffee or something."Lynette: "You don't say."[Modeling Agency](The modeling agent, Mr. Gibbs, flips through a book of Gabrielle's work.)Mr. Gibbs: "Wow! Wow! Wow! Well, this is certainly impressive. I can definitely get you work as a model. But you do realize it's different from the runway work you did in New York and Milan."Gabrielle: "Of course. I made ten thousand dollars a day. I don't expect to, to make that here."(She glances up at a poster on the wall, which sports the slogan: "Try the beer that's #1 among mermaids.")Mr. Gibbs: "That's good. Because you won't."Gabrielle: "Yeah. So what do you got?"Mr. Gibbs: "Well, there is something. Uh, they need a model to demonstrate the new Buick Lacrosse, at the Fairview Mall. It's just going to be you and the car on a revolving platform. Three hundred bucks for the day."Gabrielle: "Uh, what else do you have?"Mr. Gibbs: "Sure, um, ooh. Can you swing a sword? Sci-fi convention needs someone to dress up as a warrior princess."Gabrielle: "A warrior princess? Mr. Gibbs. I am a professional model. Look at this bone structure. This face is a cash cow, and if you don't have the vision to take advantage of that, then maybe I'm at the wrong agency."Mr. Gibbs: "Hey, look, honey. I'm the only modeling agent in a hundred mile radius.I book women for boat shows and garden tool expose and if you don't like it, move back to the city."Gabrielle: "This, um, Buick thing. Does it include lunch?"[Bree's House](Bree sets a tray of food down next to the couch where Rex is lying. He sits up, breathing heavily from exertion.)Rex: "Just so you know, I really am grateful for everything you're doing for me." Bree: "Oh, I don't need your gratitude. You're only here because your children are master extortionists."Rex: "So you didn't tell them about..."Bree: "Your adultery? No. I decided to keep that little gem all to myself."(Bree begins cleaning up around the living room.)Rex: "Listen, I know this is a real imposition."Bree: "Yes, it is. The doctor said you could be here for weeks."Rex: "Would it make you feel any better if I told you I'm sorry for what I did?" Bree: "Yes, it would...if I still felt anything for you. But as it stands, the place you used to occupy in my heart is very much empty now."Rex: "You must still feel something for me."Bree: "And why do you think that?"Rex: "Oh, come on, Bree, look at this. You're using the good china, freshly pressed napkins, flowers from the garden. This tray was prepared with loving care." Bree: "Do me a favor, Rex. Please don't mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection."(She stalks out, taking the small vase with a flower in it off of the tray with her.) [Susan's House, nighttime](Susan kisses Mike on the bed. She glances over at her nightstand and sees the missing fliers for Mrs. Huber lying there.)Susan: "Hold on a sec."(She turns them upside down.)Susan: "Okay, now I'm good."Mike: (chuckles)Susan: "What?"Mike: "You're just - God, I love you."Susan: "Oh! Well, that's great!"Mike: "Um. Wait. Wait. That just kind of popped out."Susan: "No, No! It's fine. It just kind of caught me off guard. I mean, I want to say it back."Mike: "Yeah, but you're not ready. It's okay."Susan: "You're not mad, are you?"Mike: "No! God! We haven't been dating that long, and you've got other issues. Forget it."Susan: "Good."(He rolls her over so he's on top and they kiss again.)Susan (pulling away): "Issues? What kind of issues do you think I have?"Mike: "You know, I retract my earlier statement. I no longer love you. In fact, I just think of you as a really good buddy."Susan: "No. No, no, no. You obviously think you have some insight into my soul, so please, go ahead, dazzle me."Mike: "Your divorce left you hurt and vulnerable."Susan: "Big insight. The postman knows that."Mike: "And there's a chance you might still have feelings for your ex."Susan: "What? I loathe Karl, and the postman will back me up on that, too." Mike: "I'm sure part of you does hate him, but, you know, maybe part of you is still hung up on him."Susan: "Where are you getting this?"Mike: "Well, he broke up with the woman he left you for, and what was the first thing you did? You hugged him and invited him to a party."Susan: "Okay, the analysis part of this evening is now over."Mike: "Hey, you asked."Susan: "Well, you know what? You're going to come to Julie's party tomorrow night, and you're gonna see Karl and I together, and you're going to understand once and for all that I have no feelings for him whatsoever."Mike: "Actually, I have tickets for a basketball game tomorrow night."Susan: "Actually, you're coming to the party tomorrow. And that's the end of it." Mike (to himself): "That is what I get for saying 'I love you'."Susan: "What?"(Mike deflects the question by taking a drink from a glass of wine.) [Pharmacy](Bree steps up to the counter.)Bree: "Hello, George."George: "Mrs. Van de Kamp. You're looking lovely today."Bree: "You always say the nicest things."George: "Well, it's, uh, it's true."Bree: "Listen, I have a prescription here for Rex. I don't know if you heard, but he had a heart attack."George: "I had no idea. Is he okay?"Bree: "Oh yes, he'll, he'll live. But the doctor said he's at risk for something called pericarditis. Do you know anything about that?"George: "It's an inflammation of the membrane that surrounds the heart. It will take a few months to make sure it doesn't develop, but he'll need constant care." Bree: "So I hear."(She gives him the prescription and he leaves the counter to go fill it.)Mary Alice Voiceover:"As the word's 'Constant Care' echoed in her head, Bree caught a sickening glimpse into her future."(A man coughs behind Bree and she turns to see an old man sitting in a wheelchair with an old woman helping him sit more comfortably.)(Bree watches them, looking uncomfortable.)George: "Okay. Here we go."Mary Alice Voiceover:"Which prompted her to seek an old-fashioned remedy." Bree: "George? Would you go out to dinner with me?"George: "Um, you mean, like a date?"Bree: "Yes, I think it would be fun."George: "What about your husband?"Bree: "Oh, him. Well, we're separated."(George smiles and Bree smiles back.)[Outside]Mary Alice Voiceover:"In spite of Mrs. Huber's disappearance, life on Wisteria Lane started to return to normal. Until an intriguing discovery was made on a dirt road next to the interstate."(A policeman finds Mrs. Huber's car abandoned by the woods. He opens it and looks in the glove department, finding the car registration. He calls in to Dispatch.) Policeman: "This is Officer Burton. I have an abandoned vehicle registered to amissing person, one Martha Huber. Please advice."[Later]A crowd of neighbors are gathered in the woods to search for Mrs. Huber. A table has been set up for food and coffee.Mary Alice Voiceover:"As news spread of this mysterious development, everyone in the neighborhood decided to band together, to show their support, and to look for clues. Or worse. "Bree: "I'm keeping my eyes on the horizon. Please tell me if I'm about to step on a body part."Lynette: "It's a search and rescue, not recovery. We don't know if she's dead." Susan: "Yeah, people fake their own abductions all the time."Bree: "Can we talk about something else - something less depressing?"Susan: "Well, here's something. Mike told me he loved me."(Lynette and Bree both gasp.)Lynette: "Oh, my god!"Mrs. Greenberg: "Over here! They found the body!"Lynette: "No, no! I'm sorry! False alarm. We didn't find a body. Uh, Susan just had some really good news. Sorry."Distant voice of a man: "Oh, it's nothing. False alarm."Edie: "Well, doesn't that figure. Susan always finds a way to make it about her." [Fairview Mall](A Buick rotates slowly on a platform while Gabrielle stands in front of it in a blue evening gown, talking into a microphone.)Gabrielle: "Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you the fabulous Buick Lacrosse." (Microphone feedback. Annoyed, Gabrielle turns to the woman handling the audio. She makes a quick adjustment then gives Gabrielle a thumbs-up.)Gabrielle: "It, uh, it has an excellently crafted interior, peaceful quiet tuning, and ultrasonic rear parking assist. Observe the remote activation feature."(She pushes a button and the car starts. She then sees Lynette and Tom riding down the escalator.)Gabrielle: "Uh, and it also has a lot of other exciting good, cool car things."(She tries to run around to the other side of the turntable, but her dress gets caught.) (The audio girl, Sarah, watches her. Tom and Lynette get off of the escalator and see Gabrielle.)Gabrielle: "Tom! Lynette! What are you doing here?"Tom: "We're buying a new water heater. Um, how 'bout you?"Gabrielle: "Just doing a little shopping, trying to get my mind off things."Sarah: "Hey Gabby, you need help, it looks like you're stuck here."Gabrielle: "Uh! I guess I am."Sarah: "No worries, I got it."Gabrielle: "I guess I got too close to the turn table. I'm a sucker for these Buicks." Sarah (to the dress): "Come on, you bastard!"Gabrielle: "You know, with their perfectly crafted interior, and peaceful, quiet tuning."Lynette: "Uh-huh. A little formal for the mall."Gabrielle: "Oh, uh, you know, I wanted to match the shoes to the dress. This is, uh, Sarah, my shopping buddy. We like to hit the boutiques together."Lynette: "Okay. Well, you gals, um, shop your little hearts out. See you later." Gabrielle "Bye."(They walk off. Sarah waves after them and Gabrielle sighs irritably.)[Bree's House](Bree comes down the stairs, dressed in a red dress, with her hair styled up.) Rex: "Wow. Look at you! You going out?"Bree: "Not that it's any of your business, but, I have a date."Rex: "A date. What kind of date?"Bree: "Rex, I don't want to say anything that might upset you. The doctor says any undue stress could cause another heart attack."(Rex gives up and turns his back to her.)Bree: "It's a romantic date with a single attractive man, and I intend to french the hell out of him."(The doorbell rings.)Bree: "Oh, right on time!"(She goes to answer the door and Rex watches from the couch.)George: "Hi."Bree: "Hi,"George (hands her a small bouquet of flowers): "In my spare time I garden. I thought you might like these."Bree: "Oh, my, they're exquisite. Compost and eggshells?"George: "Yes!"Bree: "Oh! Come on in. George, you remember Rex?"(Rex smiles and waves his hand from where he's sitting. George's step falters.) George: "I thought you said you were separated."Bree: "Oh, we are, emotionally. Physically, he just lives here because his mistress refuses to care for him. Would you like a drink?"George: "Uh no, I'm fine. Thanks."Bree: "Rex, say hello to George!"Rex: "Hello, George!"George: "Hello, Dr. Van de Kamp."Bree: "I'm going to go put these in water. George, why don't you have a seat, and I'll be right back."(George sits down on the other end of the couch.)George: "So, uh, how's your heart, Dr. Van de Kamp?"Rex: "Better. How's the pharmacy?"George: "Busy. It's busy."(Rex bursts out laughing.)George: "Something funny?"Rex: "It's, it's nothing. You see, I, uh, recently engaged in some extracurricular activity, and now Bree's doing anything she can to make me suffer. All you can do is。