2015.10月月考作文分析

7.Having finished the cleaning, we went to the bus stop to keep order. People queued up consciously with our guidance.(康光达） 8.In order to avoid the chaos from happening, we told the passengers to wait in line rather than rush into the bus ignoring the order.(刘薇） 9.Looking at the clean buses and the people standing in line, we all had a sense of achievement.(李思函）
原来学生的好句子：
1.In order to feed back our society, we chose the bus station as our destination.(王贯中） 2.With great expectation and overwhelmed excitement, we set out early.(李思函） 3.Sunshine carpeting the road, we reached a bus station, buckets in our hands. The smile worn on our face and the voluntary flag held by our monitor all demonstrated the determination and enthusiasm of us to do our bits for the society.(黄漠源）
6有的同学的文章句子写的过于繁琐，反而影 响达意，建议读一下17，18分的作文比对一 下。 On Dec.5th, several classmates in my class, me included, actively participated in the voluntary activity of cleaning buses to practice the Volunteer’s Day. 改成：On Dec.5th, the Volunteer’s Day, I together with some of my classmates went to the bus station to do some voluntary work.
3拼写加用词 We took a picture in front of the bus putting up/ raising( holding) the flat( flag). 4表述 All of us had different kinds of arrangement. 改成：All of us were assigned to complete different tasks. Some students shouldered the responsibility of keeping the passengers getting on the bus in order. 改成：Some students were responsible to guide the passengers to get on the bus in
情景文Possible version
Our Voluntary Activity December 5 was memorable because it was Volunteer Day and we did some meaningful work. After class we went to a nearby bus station with some buckets and our volunteer logo. Upon arrival, we began to clean the buses immediately. Some were carrying water. Some were wiping the floor of the buses. Others were cleaning the windows. After that ,we tried to lead passengers to queue for getting on buses. Some even helped the old onto the bus. Before leaving we took some photos to record our voluntary activity holding a flag with the logo, which, I think, is the best explanation for our activity: try to give others a hand as much as possible.
本篇的可用词组
1early in the morning/after class 2gather at the school gate 3With the buckets and volunteer logo 4set out (for) 5head for 6The moment/ the minute/ as soon as/ the instant/ 7On arriving there/ upon our arrival 8set out to work/without delay 9be divided into groups
4.Holding a flag with voluntary patterns, we all felt a sense of responsibility.(郭维 格） 5.Though assigned to different tasks, all of us were indulged in the enjoyment of cooperation.(黄漠源) 6.The most unbearable thing was that the water almost froze. Nevertheless, no one withdrew. started to work. 改成：soon came the time for the bus operation. 5用词 Our monitor held the flag with the symbol( sign) (logo) of volunteers on it. Some brushed (cleaned) the windows and some washed ( swept, mopped) the floor.
2015. 10月月考作文分析
• 第一节：情景作文（20分） • 假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华， 为校刊《英语园地》写一篇题为“Our Voluntary Activity”的英文稿件。请根据 以下四幅图的内容，叙述在12月5日志愿者 日当天，你们班到公交车站参加志愿者服 务活动的过程。词数不少于60。稿件的开 头已给出。 • 提示词：桶bucket
1难忘的,有纪念意义的（m开头） 2很好地掌握英语（词组） 3go over 含义 4introduce含义 5与现在完成进行时连用的时间状语 6“坐下，就坐”的表达法 7切入主题（词组） 8be called off中文 9The cat had engineered a small miracle.(翻译） 10回忆（单词）
10.These pictures record our happiness and excitement as well as our sweat that we shed.(王贯中）
11.Engaged in the whole process of volunteering, we didn’t notice the time for departure. The photos snapped witnessed the efforts and devotion we contributed all the way along the activity.(谢盈盈）
第一人称过去时
要点：6个（开头,出发，到达打扫公交车， 指挥乘客排队上车，集体合影，感受）
总体情况 2班：均分15.27 13班：均分15.23 这篇文章只要平时注重写作句子的积累就能 得15分以上，没达到这个分数以及我标注 分给高的同学应认真反思
主要问题： 1基本的动词过去时不会变形，如： We leaded (led) them to get on the bus one by one. Some sweeped (swept) the floor. We standed (stood) in front of the bus. 2语法错误 Some helped cleaning(clean) the bus. We took a photo together with the flag holding (held) in hand.
10Some…Some…Others 11be responsible for/ be in charge of/ be assigned to/be allocated to be occupied with doing 12clean the window 13sweep the floor/ mop the floor 14carry water/ carry buckets of water 15Lead/ guide/conduct the passengers to queue( wait, stand) in line 16help the elders get on the bus 17take some photos to record the voluntary activity