恭维语在中西方文化交际中的差异

毕业论文

题目：From Compliments to Discuss Cultural

Distinction in Daily Communication

Between the East and the West

系别：外语系

专业：英语语言文学

姓名：焦刚

学号：1014050309

指导教师：李冰

河南城建学院

2009年6月1日

FROM COMPLIMENTS TO DISCUSS CULTURAL DISTINCTION IN DAILY COMMUNICATION BETWEEN

THE EAST AND THE WEST

By

Jiao Gang

A Thesis

Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the

Degree of Bachelor of Arts

In English

Under the Supervision of Professor Li Bing

Henan University of Urban Construction

June 2009

摘要

恭维语是一种普遍的社会现象, 恰到好处的使用它能拉近交际双方的距离，避免语用失误。在跨文化交际中 ,它们起着问候、鼓励、致谢、开启话题及缓解矛盾等作用，同时由于中西方在社会结构，以及文化背景方面的不同，导致了恭维语在实施过程中的文化差异，了解其中的文化差异不仅有助于人们在跨文化交际中恰当的使用恭维语，而且还可以避免文化冲突，同时比较中西方恭维语在语言形式、应答、恭维目标几个方面的差异,指出跨文化交流中恭维和接受恭维造成误解的原因,对于跨文化交际具有重要意义。在跨文化交流中,中国人一向内敛,奉行“慎言”“寡言”原则,在言语上自制而谨慎,对他人的语言又有高度的敏感性,相形之下,美国人则比较外向,惯于表达自己,也愿用语言表达内心世界。他们更相信语言的创造力,强调个人的外向延伸,要解决恭维语交流中出现误解这一问题,只有相互了解彼此之间的文化和文化背景。语言与文化是不可分的,只有努掌握彼此之间的语言以及文化背景才能使我们在跨文化交流中尽量少出错误,这不仅对恭维语,对其它言语行为也是同样重要的。

关键词: 恭维语；差异；应答；误解；跨文化交际。

Abstract

Compliments are a universal social phenomenon. If we use it exactly, we can shorten the distance of our communicator and avoid pragmatic failure. In the process of cross-cultural communication, they play a role of greeting, expressing one's thanks congratulating and encouraging others, opening a conversation and loosing conflicts etc. At the same time, owing to the different social systems and cultural backgrounds between the east and the west, such complications result in a cultural difference in the course of using compliments .To understand the difference can not only help one use compliments correctly ,but also can avoid cultural conflicts in the intercultural communication. Probing the differences between Chinese and Western compliments in a cross-cultural perspective and analyzing the course of misunderstanding are the key to a successful cross- cultural communication. In cross-cultural communication, the Chinese have always been reserved, sticking to the principle of prudence and reticence, obeying the principle of self-control and carefulness when communicating, having a high degree of sensitivity toward other?s languages. By contrast, the Americans are outgoing. They are prone to express themselves and willing to use language to express their inner world. They also believe the creativity of language, emphasizing the outward extension of the individual. So only if we understand each nation?s cultural backgrounds can we have a good cross-cultural communication. Language and culture are inseparable, only do we strive to master the language as well as their cultural backgrounds can minimize the cross-cultural communication errors. This does not only aim at the compliment language, but also is equally important to speech act.

Key words: compliment; difference; response; misunderstanding; cross- cultural communication.

Contents

1.Introduction (1)

2.The Main Existing Reasons for Cultural Differences in Chinese and Western Compliments (2)

3.Difference in Using Language (3)

4.Difference in Response Formulas .................................................................. .. (4)

5.Difference in Target of Compliment (6)

5.1 Appearance (6)

5.2 The Difference of Complimenting Other's Ability and Achievement (7)

6.Dispel Misunderstanding in Cross-cultural Communication. (8)

7.Conclusion (11)

Works Cited (12)

1. Introduction

Language is the carrier of social culture, it recording and transferring the culture. With no exception, compliment as a language phenomenon and the most common speech are very common in daily life. When people use the language of compliment, there would be under certain social environment, they should pay attention to those differences, such as different nationalities, cultures, historical periods, economic base, people?s values, living habits and different aesthetic manners. In the process of implementation, compliments can reflect each other?s social status. Generally speaking, such differences are a reflection of cultural diversities. In the process of cross-cultural communication between eastern and western countries, compliment is one of the most common used languages. It often plays a role of greeting, gratitude, opening the topic, as well as the role of loosing the contradictions. But each nation has its own language and culture which are different from the other nations. These languages and cultures have their own unique form and content which have a distinctive national characteristic. As different nations, there are huge differences in the use of compliment and response, for example: When one was invited to dinner at a friend?s house, the Americans always boast, “your wife is very beautiful”, while in China people always said, “Your child is clever”. With regard to compliment and its response, the Chinese and westerners are different. Westerners tend to bravely say “Thank you”, whereas the Chinese are not as straightforward as they are, they often say “不行, 不行” , “哪里，哪里” or “差远了” and so on to express his humble attitude .Therefore, in the process of verbal communication, the Chinese and westerners often make some jokes when they use the language of compliment, which sometimes even cause unpleasant results. The paper aims at pointing out that it is not enough to only master the language itself. The key in cross-cultural communication is to study the culture which hides behind language such as values, customs and taboos by making use of the differences among the form of language, response and compliment.

2. The Main Existing Reasons for Cultural Differences in Chinese and Western Compliments

Chinese and Western cultures are totally two different types of culture. Because of different social structures and cultural backgrounds, each nation formed its own values, ways of thinking and cultural statute. As we know, China is a country with five-thousand-year?s history and culture. Meanwhile China is also a traditional agricultural country, whose culture is based on morals of farming civilization. The Chinese often regard the nature as a whole harmony and claim the integration between human beings and the whole universe, which forms the ideology of “Nature and Humanity" and the values based on groups. While due to the impact of traditional education of ancient China, China is a hierarchy society and attach great importance to the doctrine of “noble if the upper, humble if the down” and “lower oneself to show respect to others”. On the other hand western countries didn?t have such a long history, especially the United States which is relatively a short history country with multi-ethnic and multi-cultural capitalist rule. The early immigrants came to the North American continent to find a new life in order to keep away from the shackles of feudal tradition and their oppression. Therefore, such sentences “that all men are equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” were written in Declaration of Independence. The principle that “All men are born to equal” has become every American?s pursuit, and they are deeply rooted in their hearts. So from this point of view, this principle is based on objects and extravagant local business as well as is one typical western culture. The western culture emphasizes on the universe philosophy called “Separation of the Universe from Man” and their value is mainly based on the individual. So the westerners take little about the concept of hierarchy and the thought of respecting the noble. When communicating with people, they often adopt the “strategy of seeking the same” in order to maintain equality with each other.

3. Difference in Using Language

One evidential feature for our Chinese using the compliment is to express respect to the people who is worthy. When asked about the names of others, the Chinese always say, “你贵姓?” or “ 你尊姓大名?”. When someone built a new house, people always say, “恭喜你大厦落成”. When a family had a baby, people always say, “恭喜你喜得贵子”. The above utterances can be heard at any time in our daily life. While the westerners have a different state. They think that such language is entirely superfluous. When asked about one?s name, they simply use this question, “Can I have your name?” or “What?s your name?” After the other side giving a short answer, the questioners always reply “You have a lovely name” and they seldom use respect language at the beginning. In many occasions the Chinese always use compliment to heighten the opposite people and detract himself, however westerners use compliment to advocate equality. They think that it is inappropriate to use immoderate courtesy and compliment, thus they often adopt a rather simple adjectives to praise people, such as “good, great, nice”. In order to achieve the effect of humor and exaggeration, sometimes they even add an adjective before derogatory term, such a s “terrific, awfully”, “You are awfully nice.” When using compliment, a significant difference here is the different position of personal pronouns. The Chinese people always like to put the second person “you” on the first place of the sentence when they compliment on somebody, such as “Your dress is so saucy”, “Your design is so fashionable”. While the westerners use the first person, putting “I” on the first place of sentence. Please look at the following examples:

⑴. I think your coat suits you.

你的外套蛮合身。

⑵. I like your hairstyle.

你的发型不错。

⑶. I am so proud of you.

你是我的骄傲。

Westerners tend to express personal feelings. They have their own opinions

toward things and all these opinions are not achieved overnight. They think that the best compliment is to faithfully reveal their own point of view and also like “self assertiveness”, which is different from we Chinese who tend to hold the group consciousness. The Chinese are rarely confront with people. They implied something as much as possible and they are good at seeing how circumstance changes when communicating. They also have a high degree of sensitivity and acceptance toward to one?s language, thus forming a self-made and cautious character.

4. Difference in Response Formulas

Because the Chinese and the Westerners have different cultural backgrounds, there are huge differences in observing the world as well as the thinking patterns of treating things and corresponding mode of behavior patterns. These differences are the culture differences, which are vital barriers in the cross-cultural communication. To respond to other?s compliment, the westerners are always pleased to accept and say “Thank you” to express his humility.

For example

⑷. A: What a lovely room you have.

B: Thank you! I?m really satisfied with it myself.

你的房子真不错.

谢谢，我自己还确实满意.

Here there are several American-style compliments dialogs:

One is neither clearly echo, nor directly negative to the other side:

⑸.A: You?re wearing a lovely skirt.

B: Well I happened to see it when I was shopping.

你穿的裙子真漂亮。

我昨天去购物时正好碰上便买下来了.

Another is to accept the other side?s compliment partly

⑹.A: Your French is very good.

B: Well my listening is not bad, but I still have problem with speaking.

你的法语不错.

我的听力还可以，但表达还是个问题.

⑺.A: You?re very smart today!

B: Thank you! So are you.

你今天好漂亮.

谢谢，你也一样.

The above examples fully explain that when the westerners response compliment they both express their true attitudes and maintain their own self-esteem to give the other a more specific answer.

Generally speaking, when the Chinese respond the compliment, they apparently deny or not completely accept it. The following are some compliments and compliment response we often hear. Here there are several Chinese-style compliments dialogs:

⑻.M: 几年不见你还是那么年轻。

I have not seen you for years, you still look so young.

W: 什么呀，别拿我开玩笑。

No，don?t joke on me.

⑼.A: 小明真聪明

Xiao Ming is very clever.

B: 您过奖了

You are just praising me.

⑽.A: 你妻子今天真漂亮。

Your wife looks pretty today.

B: 她呀，就知道臭美。

Oh，she just likes to show off.

When the Chinese accept compliment they are very happy in heart, but they take a negative attitude in their words. The key question is the modesty, which Chinese always regarded as a virtue. So when one person is complimented or boasted, they will mannerly say“不敢当,我不行”. But this response pattern is not consistent with the habits of westerners. Taking the Americans for example, the Americans regard

excessively modesty as self-display and a behavior to show their incompetence when talking with people. Their cultural backgrounds are: Praisers always wish that the opposite could affirm their own praise of give a positive evaluation response, such saying “Thank you” to encourage praisers. It is just about the American?s natural attitude and the Chinese?s excessively modesty that reflect the two nations' cultural differences, and these should be particularly important in the cultural communications.

5. Difference in Target of Compliment

We will analyze the existed diversities in targets between the Chinese and the westerners from the following two aspects.

5.1 Appearance (fashion and sensitive topic)

Appearance is one of the most important compliment targets in East-Western compliments. Women?s appearance (color, shape, clothing, dress, demeanor, etc.) often be complimented, especially by men, for example:

⑾.You look so pretty when you smile, you should do it more often.

你笑起来真美，你该常常这样

Women also can be complimented, in The United States a student can compliment his\her teacher like this

⑿.You look very elegant today.

您今天真的美极了。

When American women meet such a compliment, she will not feel shy. However, on the contrary, they think it is a kind of honor. While in China, the appearances of women are often the targets of compliment. But there is a limit in complimenting the appearance of women, especially between females. If a boy compliments a girl's appearance whom he doesn?t know, his behavior may even be regarded as “vulgar” .If an American boy pays tribute to his known Chinese girl and says, “You are a sexy girl.” It is very likely that this good-hearted boy will suffer a sharp curse. The Chinese

culture this kind of brazen compliment will be regard as a frivolous behavior or even vulgar.

5.2 The Difference of Complimenting Other's Ability and Achievement

There are two major differences in capabilities and achievements of the compliment. First of all, the Americans focuses on the results, such speeches can be seen everywhere.

For example,

⒀.You have done a good job.

你工作得不错。

⒁. Well done!

干得好！

⒂. I am satisfied with what you have done.

你所做的我很满意。

Meanwhile the Chinese emphasize on the personal qualities: such as: “smart, wisdom and so on”. W e often hear such a compliment:

[16]. what a smart baby

宝宝真聪明

[17] .Your mother is so capable

你妈妈好能干

[18] .This is my colleague; he will study in the United Stated.

这是我同事，他就要去美国留学呢

According to the compliment on achievements and ability, the Americans pay much attention to reality, emphasizing the results. While Chinese like to use abstract language and beat about the bush with cautions. In addition, Wolfson and Manes?s studies have shown that “in western society people coming from the higher social status are more likely to use compliments. This study also prove that compliment involved in ability and achievement is a sternly judge, which must be made by a capable person. Under unequal social status, especially between the working relationships, the competence to make a judge is strongly linked with higher technology and abundant knowledge. Besides, it is an overt rule to express your

judgment indirectly to your superiors”(王德杏，1998：36). Another rule is that it is wise to wish the uppers to make a judgment to their subordinate?s working behaviors. While in China, it is generally the lower social status or the inferior give a complement to the superiors as a means of acquiring favor from the supervisors. We often hear such compliments

[19].刘经理真行，既有管理能力，又有组织能力.

It is because of such compliments that the higher manager can not grip the real situation, and may also cause errors in the actual work of leadership.

6. Dispel Misunderstanding in Cross-cultural Communication.

Wolfson pointed out, “in particular, what counts as a compliment may differ very much from one society to another.”(Wolfson N, 1981: No 2) in the eyes of the Americans, some of their compliments seem to phrase someone, while for the Chinese it may be regarded as humiliation. On the contrary，to we Chinese some apparent compliments may be nonsense or meant to offend toward Americans. The following example is a compliment for the Chinese people; but is offendence for Americans. [20]. A: Your necklace is pure gold, isn?t it?

B: Yes, it is. My husband bought it for me.

A: You are lucky to have a husband who earns so much. His money makes you more attractive.

A: 你的项链是纯金的吧！

B: 是的，我老公卖给我的。

A: 你真幸运，有一个能挣这么多钱的老公，把你包装得越来越迷人了。

Most Americans can not accept the above views. They will think the charming of B is made up by money, and talking about people?s income has become a violation of privacy to others. So if you compliment an American woman like this, she is bound to angry. Similarly, the westerners regard some paroles as a compliment, while the Chinese treat it to be incredible, even create a feeling of hatred. For example, Sino-foreign joint ventures of U.S. Experts commented that the Chinese workers are

very competent, saying “You are clever as well as owls”. But the translator translated it literally “你们像猫头鹰一样聪明”. This translation made the Chinese workers unhappy. In fact, at this time it was better for the interpreter to translate it as “你们非常聪明”. Because in China owl is regarded as ominous sign that one may run into bad luck, while the Americans take the owl as a symbol of wisdom. So there is a saying in English “as well as an owl” (the same as the owl is so smart)”.（沙保华，1990：64）When analyzing the reasons of cross-cultural communication misunderstandings caused by speech acts, Thomas (1983) put forward the difference between practical language mistakes (or pragmatic linguistic failure) and social pragmatic failure. Misunderstanding the nuances of certain words or terms of the target language in communication often leads to mistakes. For example, a Chinese student saw his foreign teacher?s six-year old boy playing, he said: What a naughty boy! At this time, this American teacher showed his unhappiness and responded: No, he is not naughty, he is lovely. It is obvious that this student had made a speech mistake. Thomas called this phenomenon “covert grammatical error”. The praiser intended to express the meaning of love, but he misused the word “naughty”.The Chinese often praised lovely c hildren and say “small naughty”, while in English …naught? has the m eaning of impish and disobedience. So we could learn that a misuse of language can cause social embarrassment and misunderstanding.

To get an accurate understanding, speakers need to capture cultural knowledge. The following two examples are misunderstanding caused by the lack of knowledge of the target language culture and its social practices. One Chinese student paid a visit to an Australian friend?s house a nd saw many guests in his house and spoke optionally: What a big family you have! Because Australian friend didn?t understand the Chinese cultures that a large population is considered as property, thus he replied: Yes, but it has its advantages too.

One translator visited to the United States with a Chinese delegation. After the negotiation, the U.S. manager said to the Chinese translator “Your English is very good.” The interpreter replied blushly, “Oh no, it is not, my English is not good enough”. This answer is likely to be misunderst anding. The Americans would think

that the answer of this translator is a kind of deny of his identifying capacity, while the Chinese translator thought that the praiser spoke insincerely. There is a big gap between speaker?s intentions and the message he\she wanted to deliver.

The westerner?s remark on one?s dress and o rnament is considered as inappropriate or misleading by people whose cultural backgrounds are different. For instance, an American teacher said to a Chinese female, “Hey, what?s occasion? You look really nice today.”When this Chinese heard of these words she may feel that self-esteem and thought the American teacher was not satisfy with her tidiness and grace. To the praiser and the praised, such corresponding communications differences form a risk of offence. That is because if praise words are not admitted they will not receive corresponding response. That?s because if praise words are not admitted it will receive corresponding response. In a particular context, it is more acceptable to praise some topics than the others. If a man likes to pay tribute to the class of a female teacher and praised her lesson, such behavior will not be misunderstood. But if he comments on her dress, it is easy to cause embarrassment. Wolfson pointed out that in American the most secure appraisement is to praise the stranger?s possessions, such as “That is a beautiful car”, and “You have a nice house”, or some public action, such as “I really enjoyed your talk yesterday”. If we want to accurately determine which topic is proper to be commended, we still have to master a large number of cultural knowledge and social customs rules.

Being lack of enough knowledge of each other?s social-cultural traditions, this often results in inappropriate speech which is an important reason for communicating failures. It is culture Statutes that different culture requires different speech behavior. Another reason for producing cross-cultural communication failure is that people from different cultural backgrounds have different speaking method or customary to speak. They have their own habits of speech or of the statute.（沙保华，1998：11）The process of cross-cultural communication involves not only the statue of culture but also involves the statute of language. The differences of the statute of these two culture categories are the core reason to create cross-cultural barriers, and the linguists called this “pragmatic failure”.

7. Conclusion

In cross-cultural communication, “the Chinese are always reserved, pursuing the principle of prudence and reticence. We obey the principle of self-control and carefulness when communicating, having a high degree of sensitivity toward other?s languages. By contrast, the Americans are outgoing and prone to express themselves and willing to use language to express their inner worlds. They also believe the creativity of language, emphasizing the outward extension of the individual. (胡文仲，1994：274)In order to resolve the problem in exchanging compliments misunderstanding”.Only understanding each nation?s cultures and cultural backgrounds can we have a better cross-cultural communication. Language and culture are inseparable; only we striving to master the language and corresponding of the cultural backgrounds can minimize the cross-cultural communication errors. This principle not only adapts to compliment language, but also is equally important to the other speech act.

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