优秀英语笑话小故事阅读

优秀英语笑话小故事阅读
优秀英语笑话小故事阅读

优秀英语笑话小故事阅读

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stoolspoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.

"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"

"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.

The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas

it?"

"It was ME," chortled the Indian.

So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.

Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies.

"Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough," said Sven.

"Ok," the Norwegian said, "my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't

my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?"

"Search me," said Sven. "I give up, who vas it?"

The Norwegian burst out, "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota!"

A blonde was staring dumfounded at a rushing river blocking her path. As she wondered how to cross, she saw another blonde on the other side. She

yelled "Hey, can you help me get to the other

side?"

The other blonde replied "You ARE on the other side!!!!"

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right

in front of a pickuptruck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered

the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just

look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424

cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every

day.Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and

is armed.

Flip one off?....... I think not.

The train was quite crowded, and the U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant."

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor. Put this American in his place."

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have apenchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold

the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulpsin down in one swoop.

"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.

"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"

"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house."

So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"

"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"

英语幽默小故事

英语幽默小故事

1、New Discovery A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!" 新发现 一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼,看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上,有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿,门开了,电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。 乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛,慢吞吞地说:“我应该把我的老婆带来!” hillbilly n. 乡下人,乡巴佬. pudgy adj.矮胖的,矮而粗的 drawl vt, vi慢吞吞地说;拉长语调地说 2、Always Thirsty "I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!" 总感到口渴 一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。” “真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”

简单英语小故事30字:森林里的故事

简单英语小故事30字:森林里的故事 A cute little rabbit and a terrible wolf living in a dense forest. The story of the forest a day, the little white rabbit jumped into the forest to play. Flowers smile, twittering birds in the sky. Suddenly, a hungry wolf in search of food. The wolf looked forward, saw a rabbit. The wolf’s eyes lit up, his mouth shouted: “eat!” Small white rabbit heard, very nervous, feel a sword in front of it. In the big bad wolf quickly rushed to the time, rabbit suddenly said: “my eyes are red toxi c, if you eat me, you will die of.” The wolf heard here ran away. Small white rabbit is very lucky, in the hearts of the silent thought: “escaped.” We want to learn from the small white rabbit, understand the wisdom of strain, to protect themselves. 在一片茂密的森林里生活着一只可爱的小白兔和一只可怕的大灰狼。 森林里的故事一天,小白兔一蹦一跳的来到森林里玩。小花向它微笑,小鸟在空中叽叽喳喳的叫着。忽然,一只饥渴的大灰狼在寻找食物。大灰狼向前一看,看见了一只小兔。大灰狼的双眼顿时亮了起来,嘴巴里喊着:“吃的!”小白兔听到了,十分紧张,感觉有一把剑在对着它。就在大灰狼快扑上来的时候,小兔突然说道:“我的红眼睛有毒,如果你吃了我,你也会死的。”大灰狼听到这里就跑走了。小白兔很幸运,在心中默默的想:“逃过一劫。” 我们要向小白兔学习,懂得机智应变,保护自己。

英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)

英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下: Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

简单幼儿英语小故事30字带翻译-懂礼貌的小兔

简单幼儿英语小故事30字带翻译-懂礼貌的小兔 The hot summer comes, the bird cries in the tree, “hot, hot!” The beautiful white rabbit wearing beautiful flower skirt, humming a song, scampered up the bridge. It’s going to go to the opposite side to pick mushrooms. At this time, it is seen that the goat is also ready to cross the bridge. The bridge is very narrow, only a person to cross the bridge. The little white rabbit saw, stopped and said: “the goat you cross the bridge!” Say that finish, it’s back down from the bridge. Uncle goat wearing glasses, on crutches on the bridge and walk slowly. Uncle goat slipped and almost fell, frightened rabbit shouted loudly: “Uncle goat, be careful!” Goat’s uncle over the bridge, feeling the head of the small white rabbit: “you are a g ood boy!” 炎热的夏天来了,小鸟在树上叫着:“热呀,热呀!”美丽的小白兔穿着漂亮的花裙子,哼着歌,蹦蹦跳跳地上了桥。它要到对面去采蘑菇。 就在这时候,它看见对面的山羊伯伯也准备要过桥。小桥很窄,只能一个人过桥。小白兔看见了,停下脚步,大声说:“山羊伯伯您先过桥吧!”说完,它就从桥上退了下来。山羊伯伯戴着眼镜,拄着拐杖在桥上慢慢地走着。山羊伯伯一不小心差点摔到了,吓得小白兔大声地喊:“山羊伯伯,小心一点过桥!” 山羊伯伯过了桥,摸着小白兔的头夸奖道:“你真乖!”

经典幽默英语故事(30个)-(1)

经典幽默英语故事(50个) 要求: 1、每天阅读两篇小故事,写出故事大意,尽量理解故事里的幽默点。 2 3、开学后,请把这14页的阅读素材,装订成册,上交给各班的英语老师。老师会根据你的完成情况,给你的阅读作业打出分数。 姓名:_________ 班级:_________ 学号:_________ 成绩:_________ 第一篇 My First and My Last When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go." They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane." Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?" "Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark. 故事大意: _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第二篇 First Flight Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was

关于英语幽默小故事欣赏

关于英语幽默小故事欣赏 中间战术Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“处”。 很高兴认识你Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

英语幽默小故事20字

英语幽默小故事20字 Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. “How old are you?” he said. “Eighteen, sir,” said Jo hn. “But your brother was eighteen, too,” said the doctor. “Are you twins?” “Oh, no, sir,” said John, and his face went red. “My brother is five months older than I am.” 大五个月 第二次世界大战开始了,约翰想参军,可他只有十六岁,当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时,他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天,而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时,感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了?”军医问。 “十八,长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁,你们是双胞胎吗?” 约翰脸红了,说:“哦,不是,长官,我哥哥比我大五个月。” West Point

英语笑话故事

英语笑话故事 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿? 约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interest ed in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?""Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there a re standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

最新简单幽默英语小故事及翻译资料

1 I Don’t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don’t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?” “不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten?” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。

“10块?”妈妈问。 “是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It’s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I’m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数

40个小学生英语故事

儿童英语故事、小学生英语故事 Story 1 Three Good Friends One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends. 故事一三个好朋友 一天,一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子,狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕,掉进河里。他不会游泳,大叫起来。兔子听见了,跳进水里,但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是,一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮,救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家,在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。 Story 2 A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 故事二好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Story 3 Spring in the Green Season Spring is coming. Spring is the first season of the year. In China, spring comes in February. It is still cold, but it is getting warmer and warmer. The days get longer and longer. The leaves on the trees begin to turn green. Then they come up green leaves in the spring wind on the ground. Spring is also sowing time season. 故事三春天来了 春天来了,春天是每年的第一个季节。在中国,春天二月来临,那时候还是很冷,但是会运来月暖和,白昼悦来越长。树上的叶子开始变绿,沐浴着大地春风长出了嫩芽。春天也播种的季节。

小学生英语笑话故事(三篇)

小学生英语笑话故事(三篇) 【导语】英语故事会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词,而这个单词的重复不断出现,会加深同学们对单词的记忆,这种记忆不同于一般的死记硬背,而是在潜移默化中,让学生记住单词,并且不枯燥。 小学生英语笑话故事篇一 Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane. His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes. After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, dont they?" "Those are ants," answered his friend. "Were still on the ground." 第一次坐飞机 约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机,他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以,有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时,约翰逊先生非常担心,不敢接受。不过,由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的,约翰逊先生终于被说服了,登上了飞机。 他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落,所以他吓得紧闭双眼。 过了一两分钟,他睁开双眼朝窗外望去,接着对朋友说道:“看下面那些人,他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小,是不是?” “那些就是蚂蚁,”他的朋友答道,“我们还在地面上。” 小学生英语笑话故事篇二 It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?” 圣诞佳节到来,法官心情愉悦地问犯人:“你做了什么坏事啊?” “I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner. “我今年圣诞节购物早了些”犯人回答。

英语励志小故事带翻译简单英语励志小短文50字

英语励志小故事带翻译简单英语励志小短文50字 与其用泪水悔恨今天,不如用汗水拼搏今天。英语美文中有很多励志故事和小短文都能起到激励人的作用。 A boy found an eagle's egg and he put it in the nest of a prairie chicken. The eagle hatched and thought he was a chicken. He grew up doing what prairie chicken do-scratching at the dirt for food and flying short distances with a noisy fluttering of wings. It was a dreary life. Gradually the eagle grew older and bitter. One day he and his prairie chicken friend saw a beautiful bird soaring on the currents of air, high above the mountains. "Oh, I wish I could fly like that!" said the eagle. The chicken replied, "Don't give it another thought. That's the mighty eagle, the king of all birds-you could never be like him!" And the eagle didn't give it another thought. He went on cackling and complaining about life. He died thinking he was a prairie chicken. My friends, you too were born an eagle. The Creator intended you to be an eagle, so don’t listen to the prairie chickens! 一个小男孩发现了一只老鹰下的蛋,把它放进了一只山鸡的窝里。鹰被孵出来了,但他以为自己是一只山鸡。渐渐的他长大了,却做着山鸡所做的事---从泥土里寻找食物,做短距离的飞翔,翅膀还啪啪作响。生活非常沉闷,渐渐地鹰长大了,也越来越苦恼。有一天,他和他的山鸡朋友看见一只美丽的鸟在天空翱翔,飞的比山还高。 “哦,我要能飞的那么高该多好啊!”鹰说。山鸡回答说,“不要想了,那是凶猛无比的鹰,鸟中之王---你不可能像他一样!”于是鹰放弃了那个念头。他继续咯咯地叫,不停的抱怨生活。最后他死了,依然认为自己是一只山鸡。朋友们,你们天生就是雄鹰。造物主有意把你造就成一只雄鹰,所以不要听信山鸡的话! (一) Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what's next and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station: so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young.

英语短篇幽默小故事

英语短篇幽默小故事 篇一:英语幽默小故事10篇. 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下: Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

英语幽默故事

英语幽默故事 There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That?s so expensive for this ki ndof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dan cing and so on. That?s why he?s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don?t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him …The Boss.?” 老板最大有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉,其中一只卖五千元,另一只卖一万元,还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板:「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」老板说:「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问:「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「他除了会说话之外,还会表演一些有趣的动作,好比说跳舞等等,所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问:「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌,也没看过他跳舞,什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他:『老板!』」 Where is the egg? Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher:Then where is the “egg"? Student:In the cake,Sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生 Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the

英语幽默小故事10篇

英语幽默小故事10篇

英语幽默小故事10篇 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减 价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

相关文档
最新文档