英语幽默故事精选
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的

幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的》的内容,具体内容:在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是我整理的幽默英语小故事16篇,欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Carefu...在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是我整理的幽默英语小故事16篇,欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husbands turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, Id like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选_故事大全

英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选英文的故事虽然阅读起来可能会有难度,但是只要每天不懈的阅读一定的文章,可以很好的增进自身的英文水平,下面这些是小编为大家推荐的几篇英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选。
英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选1:The bulging belly foxA hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return. Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all. But when he tried to get out again he found himself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune. Another Fox, happening to pass that way, came and asked him what the matter was; and, on learning the state of the case, said, “Well, my friend, I see nothing for it but for you to stay where you are till you shrink to your former size; you’ll get out then easily enough.”英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选2:A Piggy BankOnce there were lots of toys in a room. There was a saving box on the dresser, and it was a small piggy bank. The piggy bank was full of bronze, gold and silver coins.The piggy bank knew that he had many coins inside of him. That's why he was always proud of himself in front of his friends. "I have a lot of money. It is enough to buy all of you." The piggy bank always looked down from the top of the dresser and said this proudly. Then, the other toys looked up the piggy bank with envious eyes.One night, the beautiful moonlight poured into the room through a window. The toys in the room were so happy. "Ladies and gentlemen, let's play together on this beautiful night." Ababy doll with a red velvet ribbon said. "Okay. Let's play a game." "After that, let's have a tea party." "Wow, it will be exciting!" All the toys shouted for joy.Everyone except the piggy bank joined the party. "That party must be boring." He held up his head to the ceiling and pretended that he was not interested in the party. He thought it would make him less valuable to join in such an unimportant party."Hey, piggy bank! Come on and join us. Let's enjoy the party." "Come on." Everyone invited him to the party, but the piggy bank ignored their invitation. Therefore, the other toys enjoyed their party without the piggy bank.A rocking horse put on a knitting ball tail and danced. A rubber ball rolled over, and a toy car drove round everywhere in the room. Everyone seemed so happy.The piggy bank looked down at them playing and watched with an askance look. Then, the playing was over and the tea party began. The piggy bank couldn't stand not eating when he saw the food, and he came closer step by step to the edge of the dresser.He smelled delicious cookies. He suddenly stuck his head towards the toys gathered."Clink!" The piggy bank fell down to the floor. When the piggy bank broke into pieces, the bronze, gold and silver coins inside of him scattered noisily.The other toys were surprised at the piggy bank's fall while they were enjoying the tea party. Everybody looked at the piggy bank with surprise. "Look at that poor piggy bank. He was always proud of himself." "It's so sad. He could not even enjoy the party." All the other toys felt sorry about the piggy bank.英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选3:The Wind And The SunOne day the wind said to the sun, “Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can.” “We will see about that,” said the sun. “I will let you try first.” So the wind tried to make the man take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man only pulled his cloak more closely around himself. “I give up,” said the wind at last. “I cannot get his cloak off.” Then the sun tried. He shone as hard as he could. The man soon became hot and took off his cloak.。
一分钟英文幽默小故事(共8篇)

一分钟英文幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1:一分钟英文幽默小故事 A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return.Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all.But when he tried to get out again he foundhimself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune.一分钟英文幽默小故事2:The Beauty of a ShabbyLittle DandelionSpring has e for the flowers and trees, in the forest and fields. Spring has also e on the wild flowers under the fence and on a small apple tree. There were red bursting flower buds hanging on the fresh apple tree branches.The apple Tree Branch held up his head and looked at many kinds of people who came in and out. They allshowed different reactions to the Apple Tree Branch.All the people reacted differently when they saw the Apple Tree branch. Some were expressionless without a word, some overpraised the beauty of the Apple Tree Branch, and others gazed at him with a satisfied look.Seeing these various reactions from people, the Apple Tree Branch realized that people have as diverse personalities as plants and flowers do and that they are all different. The Apple Tree branch looked at the fields and a garden through the open window. There were shabby flowers and plants as well as beautiful ones in the garden.'Those grasses are so pathetic. It's not theirfault they have such ugly and squalid names. However, everything is different in this world.' The apple Tree Branch sympathized and looked at the little flowers blooming next to the fields and streams.At that time, the Sun kissed the Apple Tree Branch, a dandelion in the field, the abundant beautiful flowers, and the shabby fl owers and said, “Yes, there is difference among everything, but throw away yourprejudice and look ahead with a broad point of view. What do you think the poorest plant is?” “A Dandelion. People do not use it even for a bouquet, and it is so mon that people trle it down carelessly. It is not different from a weed at all.”At that time, children ran across the field,rolled about on the lawn, and picked and kissed the dandelions. They made necklaces and garlands of them. They looked wonderful with the golden flowers and green stems.The seeds stuck to the stalks of the dandelions, and they were as beautiful as white feathers. When the children blew out with a puff, the seeds of the dandelions fluttered away as if they had wings.“Look at that! Now, do you und erstand how beautiful those flowers are, and how much pleasure they can give us?” The Sun said to the Apple Tree Branch. “They are only for children.” The Apple Tree Branch answered.At that time, an old lady dug in the ground of the field and picked the roots of the dandelions. She willmake tea, take it to the doctor who makes medicine,and earn money with the roots of the dandelions.“But, beauty is more valuable than those things. Only elected ones can join the Kingdom of Beauty. Not every plant can be the same, just as people can't be the same.” The Apple Tree Branch said.Later some people came into the room. The Countess who brought the Apple Tree Branch to the castle wasone of them. She brought a stalk of dandelion seeds much more carefully than when she brought the Apple Tree Branch.“Look at this. Isn't this beautiful? I will drawa picture of this dandelion with the apple tree branch. Everyone says that the apple tree branch is more beautiful, but this humble dandelion has a different kind of beauty. Even though the apple tree branch and the dandelion look different from each other, they are all beautiful.” The Countess said filled with admiration.The Sun smiled and kissed the shabby dandelion and the Apple Tree Branch. The Apple Tree Branch blushed his own petals with shame.篇2:一分钟英文幽默小故事 A long time ago, there lived a terrible king. The terrible king's wish was that all the people would shake in fear at the sound of his name. The terrible king made the lives of the people in the neighbor land ho rrible. “Here! Take everything!”The terrible king viciously took away all the belongings of the neighbor land. He even scared the poor women and children. The king was not even sorry to the children and women. The terrible king bothered the people of the neighbor land worse and worse everyday. The palace became more and more magnificent.“Put up a statue in the church!” Now theterrible king was ordering the church to place a statue of himself there. However, the ministers could not do that.“ Your majesty may be great, but God is even greater.”The terrible king was being angry. It was because he thought that he was the greatest in the whole world. Then the king was angry. “What! He is greater? Then I will defeat God.”In a loud voice, the terrible king said that he would win against God. That's why he ordered that a magnificent ship be built in order to go to the heaven. He said he would ride the ship to go and defeat God. The terrible king rode the ship up to heaven.From the sky, an angel was sent. However, the terrible king shot over a thousand bullets at the angel. “Ahhhhhh” Being shot, the angel was bleeding. The blood dropped unto the terrible king's ship. The angel's blood was so heavy that the king's ship sank.The terrible king became angry, again. “Build a more stronger ship.” The terrible king wanted abetter ship, so he ordered all the workers in his kingdom to build it. “I will defeat God for sure!”The terrible king went up to heaven, once more. God sent mosquitoes to the terrible king. The terribleking just laughed at the mosquitoes. “Go and bring me the best carpet.”The king made another mand. He thought that if he wrapped the carpet around his body the mosquitoes would not be able to bite him. But one mosquito went inside of the carpet. Because of that one mosquito, the terrible king was rolling around screaming. The terrible king that couldn't even catch one mosquito was a laughingstock for his troops.The Terrible King篇3:一分钟英语幽默小故事 Many ages had now passed away since the Phoenix had been seen in the world. At last he again appeared. Immediately al the different kinds of animals, both birds and beasts, flocked around him.篇4:一分钟英语幽默小故事 Christmas was ing .Mr Smith had no money to buy any presents for hischildren .His wife was ill and he spent a lot of money on her medicine .And the harvest was bad and all his family were going go be hungry the next spring .He was quite worried about it .“We had only a cock ,”said Mrs Smith oneday .“You’d better take it to the town .Sell it there and buy some cakes and sweets for ourchildren .”“It’s a good idea !”the man said and caught the cock the next morning and put it into a box .It was difficult to walk on the road covered with thicksnow .Two hours later he was very tied and wanted to have a rest .He put the box to the ground and sat down .“The air in the box must be close ,”the man said to himself .“I’d better let the cock walk outside for a while ,or it’ll die .”So he put the cock to the ground .When he started again ,he couldn’t catch it any lo nger .“How foolish you are !”Mr Smith called out angrily .“You can herald the break of day at night but you cann’t find the way to the town in the daytime !”篇6:英文短篇幽默小故事精选 Once there were lots of toys in a room. There was a saving box on thedresser, and it was a small piggy bank. The piggy bank was full of bronze, gold and silver coins.One night, the beautiful moonlight poured into the room through a window. The toys in the room were so happy. “Ladies and gentlemen, let's play together on this beautifu l night.” A baby doll with a red velvet ribbon said. “Okay. Let's play a game.” “After that, let's have a tea party.” “Wow, it will beexciting!” All the toys shouted for joy.“Hey, piggy bank! e on and join us. Let's enjoy the party.” “e on.” Everyone inv ited him to the party, but the piggy bank ignored their invitation. Therefore, the other toys enjoyed their party without the piggy bank.A rocking horse put on a knitting ball tail and danced. A rubber ball rolled over, and a toy car drove round everywhere in the room. Everyone seemed so happy.The piggy bank looked down at them playing and watched with an askance look. Then, the playing was over and the tea party began. The piggy bank couldn'tstand not eating when he saw the food, and he came closer step by step to the edge of the dresser.He smelled delicious cookies. He suddenly stuckhis head towards the toys gathered.“Clink!” The piggy bank fell down to the floor. When the piggy bank broke into pieces, the bronze, gold and silver coins inside of him scattered noisily.The other toys were surprised at the piggy bank's fall while they were enjoying the tea party. Everybody looked at the piggy bank with surprise. “Look at that poor piggy bank. He was always proud of himself.”“It's so sad. He could not even enjoy the party.”All the other toys felt sorry about the piggy bank.篇7:英文幽默哲理小故事英文幽默哲理小故事1、如今我要表现得像一位女士One day womens dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.一天,一家百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。
英语搞笑小故事带翻译

英语搞笑小故事带翻译笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
小编精心收集了英语搞笑小故事带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!英语搞笑小故事带翻译篇1Smaller Fish小鱼Two men were in a restaurant and order fish,有两名男子在餐厅点鱼。
The waiter brought a dish with two fish,服务生端来装着两条鱼的盘子,one larger than the other.其中一条鱼比另外一条来得大。
One of the men said to the other,"Please help yourself."当中一位男子跟另外一位说:The other one said"Ok,"“别客气,请自行取用呀。
”and helped himself to the larger fish.另外一位男子说:“好”,After a tense silence,于是就帮自己挑了比较大条的鱼。
the first one said,"really,if you had offered me the first choice,i would have taken the smallerfish!"就在一阵气氛紧张的沉默之后,第一位男子就说:“真是的。
如果你要我先选,我就会拿比较小条的鱼。
”The other one replied,"What are you complaining for?you have it,don't you?"另一位男子回答说:“那你在抱怨个什么劲呀?你现在已经拿了呀,不是吗?”英语搞笑小故事带翻译篇2Exchange Sandwiches交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。
英语幽默小故事带翻译

英语幽默小故事带翻译英语幽默小故事带翻译(精选15篇)看趣味英语小故事学习英语,小朋友们你能从故事中学到什么呢?以下是小编推荐的英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎阅读!英语幽默小故事带翻译篇1WarningSeveral weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?" I tease d."Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"提醒我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生,开学几个星期之后,我和丈夫决定去看看他。
我特意提前给他打电话,“提醒”他我们将光临。
但是当我们来到宿舍时,他的房间凌乱不堪,我非常吃惊。
“忘了我们要来,是吧?”我取笑他。
“开什么玩笑?“,他回答说,“要不我凭什么费神打扫?”英语幽默小故事带翻译篇2Ground RulesOne of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don‘t mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they‘re still running."基本原则位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师,他奇特的幽默感很是出名。
英语幽默小故事

英语幽默小故事英语幽默小故事(Humorous English Stories)英语幽默小故事是指那些融入了幽默元素的,令人发笑的、趣味横生的故事。
这些故事往往可以轻松地让人们放松心情,以轻鬆愉快的方式学习英语,增强学习兴趣,提高英语水平。
以下是一些英语幽默小故事,欢迎各位读者阅读。
故事一:The Blind Man and the Fish一条盲鱼夹在一群鱼中间游,在它身旁的一位失明男子问:“鱼啊,你好吗?”“我很好,谢谢您,”鱼回答道:“你想知道其他鱼怎么样吗?”故事二:The Clever Chef旅馆的厨师在晚饭时,上了一盘煮熟的翅膀,但是所有的客人都觉得味道不对。
客人们投诉后,厨师想要一试,品尝后失声惊叫,原来厨师把旅馆老板的卡特车修理的机油加到翅膀里面煮,虽然味道奇特,但确实是高效率的“润滑油”。
故事三:The Secret to Happiness一个医生告诉一个病人,如果他想保持健康和幸福,就应该每天早晨起床时,抱住自己,唱一首赞美之歌,“我就是我,我很棒!”病人试着练习后,很快恢复了健康,找到了幸福。
故事四:The Wise Monkey一个猴子在树上看着一个两个人争吵,最终分不清谁对谁错。
于是这只猴子提议:“为什么不让我来当调解人呢?我将一半的苹果给你,另一半给你,以此来解决这个问题。
”一个人高兴地把自己那半苹果递给了猴子,而另一个人也高兴地接下了自己的那半苹果。
于是猴子便坐下来自己吃了整个苹果。
故事五:The Onions有个瞎眼老人走进了一家餐馆,要了一碗洋葱汤,一口一口地喝着,接下来餐馆里的每个人都一个一个传染性地开了哭泣。
老人停下来,问:“这是怎么回事?”餐馆老板笑着回答:“你切的洋葱让大家哭了出来。
”以上是一些英语幽默小故事,希望这些故事为大家带来欢乐和帮助。
通过这些小故事,人们可以轻松愉快地掌握和学习英语,从而更快地提高英语水平。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短 [有关英语笑话故事带翻译]
20个英语笑话爆笑超短 [有关英语笑话故事带翻译]英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
本文是有关英语笑话故事带翻译,希望对大家有帮助!Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults."We've been married fifteen years," one woman said, "and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.""How terrible!" exclaimed the other. "Does it bother you?""Why should it bother me?" her friend replied. "if he can't only stand his own cooking?"现代生活两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了,很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。
“我们结婚十五年了,”一个妇女说道,“每天晚饭后,我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。
”“真可恶!”另一个惊呼道。
“难道你不烦吗?”“我烦什么?”她的朋友答道。
“他不过是忍受不了自己的烹调技术。
”When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!""I wasn't asleep," the man answered."Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.""I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."我没有睡着当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事(通用9篇)有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事,特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
店铺为大家精心准备了简单而且搞笑的几则英语小故事,欢迎大家前来阅读。
简单搞笑的英语小故事篇1Covers: Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.封面:忘记你不能改变的过去。
忘记你不能预测的将来。
Inside: Forget about the present, I didn’t buy you one.内文:忘记现在,因为我没有给你买生日礼物。
简单搞笑的英语小故事篇2A guy gets set up on a blind dateand he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurantto make a good impression.一个小伙子被安排去相亲,为了能给女孩留一个好印象,他带着她去了家收费昂贵的餐厅。
The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order.服务生过来问他们要点些什么菜。
The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu,shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar Salad, lobster, crepes Suzette,with no regard to the price.女孩开始点菜了,她几乎点了菜单上所有的东西,鸡尾虾、派、凯撒沙拉、龙虾、柳橙可丽饼,完全不考虑价格。
The guy is getting very upset,as he never thought she would order so much.小伙子变得很不安,他真没想到女孩竟然会点这么多菜。
幽默爆笑英语小故事五则
幽默爆笑英语小故事五则在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。
下面店铺为大家带来幽默爆笑英语小故事五则,欢迎大家阅读!幽默爆笑英语小故事:帮倒忙"I'll need to see your license and registration,"says the highway patrolman after stopping a middle-aged couple."You were speeding.”高速公路上的警察拦住了一对中年夫妇,说:“我要看看你的驾驶证和车证,你超速了.”"But,officer,"says the husband, "I was way under the speed limit.”“可是,长官,我一直在限制以下的速度开车。
”大夫说。
"Sir, you were doing 63 in a 55 Zone.”“先生,你在限速55英里的地区开到了63英里。
”"I was not speeding!"insists the man. 'Your radar gun must be broken. "“我没有超速,”那个人坚特说:“你的雷达扫瞄一定有问题了。
”At this point, the wife leans over. "It''s no use arguing with him, officer,"she says apologetically."He always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking."这时,他的老婆凑了上来:“警察先生,你不用跟他争论了,”她带着抱歉的口气说:“每一次喝酒,他就变得这么固执。
”幽默爆笑英语小故事:判断失误The owner visits his factory and is shocked to see a man leaning against a wall,drinking coffee, "How much do you make?" he demands.“Eighty dollars a day,“is the reply.The owner hands him $80 and says,“Get out,and don't come back!"工厂的老板下厂来检查,他看见一个人倚着喝咖啡,这使他感到很吃惊。
三分钟英语幽默小故事三篇
【导语】⼀些幽默的英语故事,能提⾼我们阅读英语的兴趣,从⽽提⾼英语的阅读能⼒。
下⾯是⽆忧考分享的三分钟英语幽默⼩故事三篇。
欢迎阅读参考! 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼀ 推理a fourth-grade teacher was diving her pupils a lesson in logic.”here is the situation,"she said.”a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river,fishing. he loses his balance,falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.his wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. why do you think she ran to the bank?"⼩学四年级的教师在给学⽣们讲逻辑学。
“有这样⼀种情况。
”她说:“⼀个男⼈站在河中⼼的⼀条船上钓鱼。
他突然失去重⼼,掉进了⽔⾥。
于是,他开始挣扎并呼喊救命。
他的妻⼦听到了他的喊声,知道他不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向bank。
请你们告诉我这是为什么?”a girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"⼀个⼥学⽣举起⼿答道:“是不是去取他的存钱?” 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼆ 训兽童a boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat.a woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and,in response,the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”he's just a baby."explained the youngster. "his parents are in here. "opening his briefcase,he brought forth a pair of slightly larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. by this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice,how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.⼀位⼗岁的男孩腿上放着会⽂箱,正坐在⼀辆城市公共汽车上。
- 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性,平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
- 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
- 3、如文档侵犯您的权益,请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间:9:00-18:30)。
英语幽默故事精选They are directly from America它们是从美国直接带来的Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。
这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。
”As the years turn.生日来临之际For her 82nd birthday,I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request,this service is available to seniors over 80.)When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House,she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "我奶奶过82岁的生日时,我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。
(根据规定,80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。
)当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时,她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家,再也没有隐私了,他们就连你的生日都追踪着。
”Identification证明A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed,but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards,her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license,but she didri t have one.一位妇女来到我们银行想兑换一张支票,但她在我们这儿没建立帐户。
当我问她要证明材料时,她把社会保险卡、图书卡拿给我看。
我告诉她我们要看她的驾驶证,她说她没有。
"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.“难道你就没带照片的东西吗?”"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. "“噢,有啊,”她边说边从钱包里拿出一张合家照,“站在后排的那个就是我Being considerate.善解人意I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers,begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long,straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.像大多数的青少年一样,我刚学会开车时,总想利用一切开车的机会。
有一次家庭外出度假时,我经过请求,爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。
我感到十分荣幸,直到开到了一个急转弯,由于转盘转动得太大,车直奔着加油站的广告牌冲去。
我停下了车,等着挨训。
My father,always considerate of his children's feelings,turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?" 我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪,转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿,有人想上厕所吗?”A penny pincher守财奴There was once a large,fat woman who had a small,thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays,his wife used to make hirn give her all his money,and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人,她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资,也正是周五这位丈夫回家时,老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来,然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today,dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天,这位小丈夫回到家,兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
他老婆正在那儿听广播,吃巧克力。
“亲爱的,你永远也猜不到我今天怎么了,”他说道,过了数秒钟他又说:“我中了一万英磅的彩票。
”"That's wonderful!"said his wife delightedly. But then she thought for a few seconds and added angrily,"But wait a moment! How could you afford to buy the ticket?". “太棒了!”他老婆非常高兴地说。
但她又沉思了一会儿并气愤地问:“你说说,你拿什么钱买的彩票?”It's a reminder只是提醒而已!Trying to cut down on expenses,I decided to bring a sack lunchtowork. Unfortunately, I kept forgetting my sandwiches in my morning rush. One night I left myself a note near the front door.为了减少开支,我决定工作时自带午餐。
不幸的是,在早上的忙乱中我总是忘了带事先准备的三明治。
一天晚上,我在前门上给自己贴了个纸条。
Next morning I spotted the message and went to the refrigerator, but my lunch wasn't there. I retraced my steps and took a closer look at the note. Underneath "Don't forget your lunch"my roommate had scrawled,"Thanks!”第二天早上,我看见了条子,来到了冰箱前,却发现我的午饭不见了。
我顺着原路,到了那张纸条前仔细一看,在我那张写着“不要忘记带你的午饭”的纸上,我的室友在下边写下了“谢谢”。