雅思大作文批改范例4

合集下载

雅思大作文批改实录

雅思大作文批改实录

雅思大作文批改实录2016雅思大作文批改实录精选雅思考试要想取得好成绩,考生们必须好好复习,为了帮助大家更好的备考,下面是yjbys网店铺提供给大家关于雅思大作文批改实录精选,希望对大家的备考有所帮助。

题目When children make mistakes, they should be punished. Do you think so? How should they be punished?学生习作The issue about punishment on children has always been discussed in these days. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the opinion that punishment can help children realise the difference between right and wrong, although some slight problems still exist.The reason why punishment seems to be a must is that this is one of the most efficient method to teach the kids what is right. By criticizing the children who have done something by mistake, they are aware of the danger or wrong of their behaviours. As a result, children will be afraid of to do such a kind of things, which is of benefit to their future life.Although the advantage of punishment is undoubtedly true, the opponents would argue that it might make the kids feel inferior to others. A good case in point is that if a kid is beaten by their parents in front of his classmates, he will regard it as humiliation. When he is faced with his classmates, he might feel inactive and being separated from his friends, which may lead to long-term mental diseases including depression and anxiety.According to the above words I have said, punishment is necessary while the methods must be chosen carefully. Forexample, kids’ mood must be taken good care of so that he can realise his false. Objective persuasion is recommended while the violent behaviours is banned. Since the aim is to help them grow but notto punish them.To sum up, children are our future so we should pay more attention to our ways of punishment.评分:5.5整体评价:文章基本按照题目要求,完成了题目要求的各项内容。

雅思大作文批改例子

雅思大作文批改例子

【Written by Ray in 38 minutes】Nowadays, numerous people claim that humans can do whatever they want to animals. Others, including myself, strongly protest this ridiculous notion.The argument in its favor may involve the recognition that there are no better alternative ways than live animal experiments in carrying out medical research that will benefit researchers greatly, in terms of testing efficiency and overall costs. However, these experiments do bring damages. As a result, a clear line must be drawn somewhere to achieve desired test results on one hand, and to ensure the safety of animals on the other. At least, researchers should at least seek methods on how to alleviate animal’s suffering during their tests. Ideally, a risk evaluation should be conducted by doctors and zoologists before such experiments are performed, which could effectively help to prevent those animals from being killed or tortured.Furthermore, there are various organizations and individuals who are performing cruel operations on live animals to make money, which is completely inhumane. Mostly, such illegal act is implemented in the name of a medical research or an academic exploration. Unfortunately, few of those people are brought to justice because there is no such law in place that can sentence them guilty.In conclusion, it is about time for the entire community to rethink critically and rationally about cruel animal experiments and, measures should be taken. More specifically, a law or some regulations could be made to uphold animals’ right to262 wordsTeacher Kristine ☺。

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析雅思7分大作范文批改和解析雅思写作提高第一步:结构(5.0 - 5.5)问题:出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)同学:One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners.解析:出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education,在国内就不是better? 出国留学可不仅仅是上大学,而该同学认为出国留学就是去上大学的(因为她可能就是去上大学的,所以觉得所有人也都如此),偏激。

此外,第四句论述变成了英语环境了(因为大家都去英语国家,所以主观认为,所有出国的人就是去学英语的),再次带来了内容偏激。

最新雅思作文批改范例

最新雅思作文批改范例

Some people believe that charity organizations should give the aid to 援助those who are in great needs, while the others think that charity organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.Charity organization has never lost its unique power to confuse people and transport them to troubles(?). It is argued that whether the charity organizations should support to people who are in great needs or (to) those who live in their own countries. Personally I believe that charity organizations focus (focusing)on helping their own countries’ people should be considered as the option of last, instead of the first resort.Evidences show that charity organizations to aid people who are in great needs can bring a host of benefits to individuals as well as the whole international society. The charity help(helping) those who need great help can alleviate the increasing social gap between rich and poor, countries’ strong and weak (? ,)which will probably reduce the rate of crimes and build a harmonious world. A case in point is that since the outbreak of the Iraq war the international Red Cross federation is aiming to help nearly one million of the most socially vulnerable people inside (in)Iraq. Specifically, it supports Iraq food, water and medical facilities to help the vulnerable people rebuild their hometown. As far as I am concerned, worldwide charity organizations, which can help people all over the world, will (help to) construct a harmonious wold and reduce the war.However, charities just concentrate (concentrating )on aiding people who live in their own countries seems not work effectively. The radical reason for which(which 改为that, 或是去掉for which) is that it has a limitation on supporting vulnerable people from other countries who suffer from the disasters, which will lead to a complex and dangerous social environment other than in their own country. This will eventually build an inhumane image in the world. A case in point is that in 2011 (after)the Japanese earthquake, Chinese charity organizations sent rescue team s and basic facilities to Japan to save people’s lives. If China did not do like(去掉)this, Chinese reputation would certainly destroyed and our country would be condemned by the international society. In this case, this way should be considered as the option of last.(?) A nation should help other nations regardless of its strength.(结尾的总结是否应该回归到慈善组织呢?)Therefore, I believe that charity organizations should (give)aid to people no matter where they come from, which(since they)are regarded as (the)better solutions to reduce wars and help vulnerable people rebuild their homeland when they went through disasters. According to these ways( Thus), a harmonious international society will be set up. Besides, it will make a progress in ( make great contributions to ) the whole world’s sustainable development.By and large, we can expect that at least the problem about what kinds of peoplecharities should aid can be largely solved by supporting people from all over the world who faces the desperate situation. The more effort put in and the wider (engagements)the whole society involvement( involved in), the more substantial results likely to be. The increase of aiding people who are in great needs and the consequent improvement in people’s happiness is surely a worthwhile objective.总评:首先字数太多,看起来累赘,会导致扣分。

雅思作文批改英语

雅思作文批改英语

雅思作文批改英语批改雅思作文范文:原文:Nowadays, the issue of whether to give homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learned in class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success inschool and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is not carefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.批改:Nowadays, the issue of whether to assign homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learnedin class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success in school and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is notcarefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.改进版:In today's educational landscape, the debate over whether to assign homework to students has become increasingly contentious. While some argue that homework is an essential component of the learning process, others contend that it places an unnecessary burden on students. In my view, I believe that homework can be advantageous if it is assigned in moderation and serves as a tool toreinforce learning.To begin with, homework offers students the opportunity to review and practice the material covered in class. This can help to solidify their understanding of key concepts and skills, leading to a deeper comprehension of the subject matter. Additionally, homework can also foster the development of crucial study habits and time management skills, which are vital for academic success and personal growth.However, it is crucial to acknowledge that an excessive amount of homework can have adverse effects on students. The overwhelming workload can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, all of which can significantly impact students' mental and physical well-being. Moreover, if homework assignments are not thoughtfully planned and tailored to students' needs, they can become mindless and repetitive tasks that do not contribute meaningfully to their learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and cultivating essential skills, it is imperative that it is assigned judiciously and with careful consideration. Educators should take into account the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can serve as a beneficial and integral part of the learning process.总结:以上是对原文的改进版本,通过对原文进行修饰和扩展,使得文章更加丰富和生动。

雅思作文批改范例4

雅思作文批改范例4

2009年7月11日Some people think that companies and individuals, rather than governments, should pay to clean up pollution that they have caused. To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement?Topics of pollution never fail to arouse people's attention. Many individuals consider it is reasonable for companies and individuals to spend money on deal ing with environment problem that they have made, while other believe that it should be paid by government. Personally, I am in favor of the latter.Although many individuals consider it the responsibility of companies and individuals to clean up to pollution caused by them, I still believe that this should be the duty of the government.Many individuals find it reasonable to require companies and individuals instead of the government to pay for cleaning the pollution that is caused by them. Personally, I do not agree with this opinion.Indeed, there are reasons for people to support oppose to the idea that the cost of cleaning up pollution should be paid by the government. First of all, it is unfair to a part some of the taxpayer s. Not every people pay the same tax every tax payer makes pollution, so it seems unfair to use people’s money to solve the problem that they have not caused. Secondly, the public spend money spending private money on pollution control is beneficial to reducing of pollution. People would sense feel that lots of money should be cost on resolve resolving the problem of environment. So , so they may choice choose less polluting way of living such as the electrical equipment which are does not harm to the environment.However, the opinion of the other side that the government should pay the money sounds more convincing. For one things, the government is responsible for providing citizens with a healthy living environment. Without clean environment, people might get sick, such as cold, headache, fever and so on. Therefore, this situation would be a heavy burden to the social medical services. In addition, using finance to pay this money can be more effective than others. Companies and individuals have many kinds of reasons could not to pay this fee. For instance, they may say that they do not receive the notice or they was are not able to pay it. It will lead to the result that the problem could not be solved in time.To conclude, I firmly believe that the cost of cleaning up pollution should be paid by government. It is the duty of government and it can improve the clean efficiency.。

英语作文批改记录范例及措施

英语作文批改记录范例及措施

英语作文批改记录范例及措施**Title: Enhancing English Writing Skills through Effective Correction Strategies**In the realm of language learning, the art of writingis often considered a critical skill. English, being a globally recognized language, holds immense importance in academic, professional, and personal contexts. Therefore,it's imperative for learners to master the intricacies of English writing. This article aims to discuss the importance of essay correction, provide examples of English essay correction records, and suggest practical measures to enhance writing skills.**Essay Correction: Its Importance and Impact**Essay correction plays a pivotal role in the writing process. It not only helps identify errors but also encourages self-reflection and improvement. Through correction, writers can gain insights into their strengths and weaknesses, allowing them to refine their writing style and techniques. Corrective feedback can be highlybeneficial in areas such as grammar, vocabulary, sentence structure, and overall coherence.**Examples of English Essay Correction Records**Let's consider two examples of English essays with correction records to illustrate the process:**Example 1:****Original Sentence:** "The importance of education cannot be underestimate."**Corrected Sentence:** "The importance of education cannot be underestimated."**Correction Notes:*** Verb tense: "cannot be underestimate" should be changed to "cannot be underestimated" to maintain consistency with the tense of the main verb. * Spelling: "underestimate" is spelled correctly.**Example 2:****Original Sentence:** "In my opinion, technology has both advantages and disadvantages, but I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages."**Corrected Sentence:** "In my opinion, technology has both advantages and disadvantages, but I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages."**Correction Notes:*** Vocabulary: "I think" has been replaced with "I believe" to enhance the formality and sophistication of the sentence. * Grammar: The sentence maintains correct grammar and sentence structure.**Measures to Enhance English Writing Skills**To enhance English writing skills, learners can adopt the following measures:1. **Regular Practice:** Consistent practice is key to improving writing skills. Writing regularly, even if it's just for a few minutes each day, can help improve fluency, vocabulary, and grammar.2. **Feedback and Revision:** Seeking feedback from teachers, peers, or online writing communities can be invaluable. Use this feedback to revise your work, focusing on areas that need improvement.3.**Reading for Pleasure:** Reading a wide range of materials, including novels, newspapers, and online articles, can helpyou expand your vocabulary, improve your grammar, and enhance your understanding of sentence structure and flow.4. **Using Writing Tools:** Leverage technology to enhance your writing skills. Use writing tools like grammar checkers, dictionaries, and thesauruses to improve the quality of your writing.5. **Setting Goals:** Setting clear and achievable writing goals can help you stay motivated and focused on improving your writing skills.In conclusion, essay correction is a crucial aspect of English writing. By understanding the importance of correction, examining examples of correction records, and implementing practical measures to enhance writing skills, learners can make significant progress in their English writing abilities. With regular practice, feedback, and dedication, anyone can achieve proficiency in English writing.。

英语作文批改范文

英语作文批改范文

英语作文批改范文Title: The Importance of Environmental Protection。

Environmental protection is a topic that is receiving increasing attention worldwide. With the rapid development of industry and the continuous expansion of urbanization, the environment has been seriously polluted, and the ecological balance has been disrupted. Therefore, it is of great importance to protect the environment.First and foremost, environmental protection is necessary for the survival of all living beings on the planet. The air we breathe, the water we drink, and the food we eat all come from the environment. If the environment is polluted and damaged, it will directly threaten our health and survival. For example, airpollution can lead to respiratory diseases, water pollution can cause gastrointestinal diseases, and soil pollution can affect the quality and safety of agricultural products. Therefore, protecting the environment is protectingourselves.Moreover, environmental protection is crucial for the sustainable development of human society. The earth's resources are limited, and the environment has a self-purification ability. If we continue to exploit and pollute the environment without any restraint, it will eventually lead to resource depletion and ecological collapse, which will seriously affect the sustainable development of human society. Therefore, protecting the environment is not only a responsibility to ourselves, but also a responsibility to future generations.In addition, environmental protection is closely related to the conservation of biodiversity. The earth is home to countless species, and each species plays a unique role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. However, due to human activities such as deforestation, overfishing, and poaching, many species are facing the threat of extinction. If the loss of biodiversity continues, it will have a negative impact on the stability and sustainability of the ecosystem. Therefore, protecting the environment isalso protecting the diversity of life on earth.To achieve effective environmental protection, it is necessary to take a series of measures. First, we should strengthen environmental education and raise public awareness of environmental protection. People need to understand the importance of the environment and their own responsibilities in protecting it. Second, we should establish and improve environmental laws and regulations to regulate and restrict human activities that may harm the environment. Third, we should promote the development and application of green technologies to reduce pollution and improve resource utilization. Finally, we should encourage international cooperation and coordination to address global environmental issues.In conclusion, environmental protection is of great significance for the survival and development of human society. It is not only a responsibility to ourselves, but also a responsibility to future generations and the entire planet. Therefore, we should all take action to protect theenvironment and build a beautiful and sustainable world for ourselves and our descendants.。

  1. 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性,平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
  2. 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
  3. 3、如文档侵犯您的权益,请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间:9:00-18:30)。

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think itis a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both viewsand give your own opinion.
It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.
Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book.
On the other handthe books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the
reality some people also go to the library to read book.
In my opinion the book in library cannot follow the pace of the times, although the information in book is more authoritative, the new research will replace the old knowledge, but the book in library cannot update like the internet.
In sum, government is unnecessary to spend more money into public libraries. Because of the development of the times, an increasing number of people will use internet to get information.
总点评:
本篇文章得分: 5.5。

相关文档
最新文档